News from Hell, Part
Advices and motives to the Honourable Assembly in Parliament.
E. S. I. The stake's three Crowns, foure Nations gamsters are,
E. W. I. S. Ther's three to one, and yet no man that dare.
Take these great odds, the cause is as they say,
The fourth knows both our stock, & cards we play.
This turnes the odds, and makes most gamesters thinke,
Wee'r but in jest, and play our Cards and winke.
The Sett goes hard, when gamesters thinke it best,
Though three men vie it, the fourth sets his rest.
My Masters, you that undertake the game,
Looke to't, your Countries safety and her fame
Are now at stake, be carefull how you cut
And deale, as knowne occasions put you to't.
The Cards are strangely shuffled, for your parts,
'Tis odds, you ever get the ace of harts.
Yet the five finger, and some helps beside,
Lie in the pack disperst, be those your guide,
That you possesse, to tell you what you want,
Least the mistake of one poore tricke should daunt,
Your spirits quite, and make you fling away
Your liberty, not to be lost by play:
Detest foule jugling, now 'tis in your powers,
Let none but square play passe, the game is yours.
For here you see, Hell, Rome, and all their traine,
Plot to confound all your good Lawes againe.
Then have a care, expell Romes imphes, make sure,
Your Lawes and Liberties may still indure,
To future ages, posterities then may,
Have cause to blesse your memories for aye.
LAment, lament, you Bishops all each weare his blackest gowne,
Hang up your Rochets on the wall, your pride is going downe.
It needs must grieve each Romish heart to heare this sad relation:
All Cannons are not worth a fart, made in the Convocation.
The Bishops holy Synod, and the Priests of Baal, that there
Consented, and concluded all, are now in grievous feare,
To be depriv'd of Priestly stile, of Coat Canonicall:
And quite be banished this Ile, they feare they must be all.
Ah, poore (Etcetera,) is now dead, which grieves the Bishops most:
What they would have immortall made, hath now given up the Ghost.
Alas I what new begotten oath, like snow against the Sun,
It did begin to melt away, when th' Parliament begun.
All Ceremonies are good cheape,
And I will tell you how:
The Tippit, Hood, and Surplisse eke, are good for nothing now.
And which I w…s more woefull is, and most their courage quayles:
There was a grievous murther made, among their holy Rayles.
Oh, when this sad and heavy newes, unto that Synod came,
The Birds and Beasts were in a muse,
Asse, Wren, and Duck, and Lambe.
And then a dolefull ditty these, did thus lament together:
Alas, we must all runne away, when shall we run, and whether.
Shall we with Windibanke to France, or flie to Holland, where
The Finch is flown, for us a place, before hand to prepare.
No quoth the Duck, wee'l fly to Rome, and there rest without feare
Of Parliament, and then the Lambe, may come up in the reare.
And there wee'l drinke a health to all the Puritans confusion,
That have thus strongly wrought our fall, by Parliament conclusion.
The Judges and the Lawyers all,
Atturnies, Proctors, Clarkes,
Soliciters, and Advocates,
Must now stand in their Sarkes;
And penance doe for all their faults,
Their bribes they must restore,
Their cheats and tricks which they did use,
They practise must no more.
The people long they have beguil'd,
And many a one undone,
Gods curse their wealth for this doth melt,
As snow is by the Sunne.
Their children and posterity,
The Gallowes doth devoure,
Themselves have made a league with hell,
To raigne still by his power.
God is the God of unity,
Of love, and peace alone,
But these men for deceit and strife,
The like of them there's none.
Probatum est.
Received by me, Fountaine of iniquity, this 22. of September, 1641. by the helpe of Judge Bribery, and the furtherance of Lawyer Impiety, of Romanus Treachery, the summe of 10. pounds of damnable simplicity: 9. pounds of superstitious ignorance: 7. pounds of idolatrous folly: 6. pounds of wilfull stupidity: and 3. pounds of perversenesse, to and for the use of Impatience: And by his appointment to be delivered unto gentle Prodigality, to and for the use of Mistris Inconstancy, daughter and sole heire unto Mistris Letchery, the grand-child of Mistris Bawdery, dwelling next doore unto Mistris Beggery.
By the new Prison neare the whipping thong:
At no great distance from M. Iustice Long.
Long hath a long time beene a knave:
Receiving bribes from every slave.
Long ever hath a shelter beene full sure,
For every theefe, a Cutpurse, and a Whore.
Long knowes full well his Christmas how to keepe,
On cost of Whores, those are his onelyonly sheepe.
His Capons, Wood-cocks, Sheeps-heads, S…ites and Geayes:
Providers of good cheere on all assayes.
Long may he feast his body, fill his purse,
By such a crue of hellish imphes. Gods curse
Assuredly will fall on him and his.
And prove his fatall recompence for this.
Long may he be a knave, of such great fame
To all Whores glory, his owne eternall shame.
FINIS.
End of the text · John Milton, News from Hell (1642)