Principles of Faith and Good Conscience, Chapter 35
CAP. XXXV.
Duties of Husband and Wife.
THE duties of Husband and Wife: ſome be common to them both; ſome peculiar to the Man or Woman alone.
Q. What be the duties of Man and Wife, common to them both?
A. Five: Firſt, for our choyce; we muſt marry in the Lord, that is, with ſuch as joyn with us in the faith & worſhip of the ſame true God. 1 Cor: 7.39. 1 King. 11.2, 4, 7, 11. 2 Chron. 21.6. Gen. 24.3, 6. 2 Cor. 6. 14, 15.16. Mal. 2.11.
Q. What, ſecondly, is their duty?
A. To pitty and doe good each to the ſoule of other; to bring one another from errour and darkneſſe, to be heires of the grace of life. 1 Cor. 7.16. 1 Pet. 3.7.
Q. What, thirdly?
A. Mutuall helping each of other in counſels, care, and bearing the burthen of the family; eſpecially they muſt, as yoke-fellowes, joyn together in ſetting up Religion in the family. [They muſt draw in one yoke, and one way, in all good things: the burthen muſt not be caſt on one, through the ſloth, niceneſſe, voluptuouſneſſe and pride of the other.] Gen: 2.20, 24. 1 Sam. 25.17, 24, 25.
Q. What, fourthly?
A. They owe one to another conjugall a love and loyalty, whereby they muſt love and delight one in another above all others, b bearing one anothers burthens and infirmities. [As ſickneſſe, ſillineſſe, poverty frowardneſſe; and not by rigorous, churliſh and hardning wayes to vex one another.] a Heb: 13.4. Gen: 20.16. 1 Cor: 7.12, 13. Eph. 5.28, 29, 31. Col: 3.19. Gen: 16.6.
Q. What, fiftly, is their duty?
A. Mutuall benevolence, in a moderate and ſeaſonable uſe of the marriage bed. 1 Cor: 7.4, 5. Levit: 18.19, 25. 1 Theſ: 4.4, 5.
Q. What is the duty more peculiar to the Wife?
A. She muſt be a ſober minded in all things, diſcreet, b keep at home, c obedient to her Husband, and of a gentle and meeke ſpirit. It is a falſe commendation of women to be of a great ſpirit, to take upon them over their Huſbands, to ruffle it, and bring him under; leave that for Zipporah & Vaſthi. Exod: 4. 25, 26. Heſt. 1.12, 17.] a Tit. 2.4, 5. b Prov. 7.11. 1 Tim. 5.13. c 1 Tim. 2.12. Gen. 3.6. Col. 3.18. d Prov. 31.26. 1 Pet. 3.3, 4. A chearful, curteous, modeſt, mild ſpirit becomes a Chriſtian Woman; a Chriſtan Wife muſt not be ſullen, nor taunting, not bitter, nor captious and untractable, nor domineering, nor vain, in falſe adornings of haire, naked breaſts, coſtly attire, and ſuch like ſhewes and witneſſes of an ungoverned and unſanctified heart.]
Q. What is the duty more peculiar to the Husband?
A. To dwell with the Wife according to knowledge, giving honour to her, as to the weaker veſſell, that is, not overbearing any thing contrary to her credit, place, & comforts; but fitting imployments, according to her abilities; making up in love and wiſedome, what is defective in her weakneſſe. 1 Pet. 3.7. [What beautifull Chriſtians ſhould we be, if we were carefull to performe and ſhew the power of Religion, in diſcharge of the duties that belong to us in our ſeverall relations; he is an hypocrite that is forward in common duties of Chriſtianity, and is not alike carefull of the particular duties belonging to his relation and calling.]
There be other relations of men who ought to give honour one to another; as Paſtours and People, young and aged, rich and poore, &c.
Q. If I live under a Paſtour or Miniſter of Gods Word, What is my duty to him?
A. The Peoples duty to their Miniſters is threefold, Firſt, to a eſteem them very highly in love, for their workes ſake. Secondly, to b provide them liberall and honourable maintenance, to uphold the dignity of their callings. a 1 Theſ. 5.12, 13.2 King. 4.10. Gal. 4.13.14. Jer. 38.4, 9. b 1 Cor. 96, 10, 13, 14. 1 Tim. 5.17. That double honour is ſpoken of their maintenance; it is a ſinne to make him a poor deſpicable man. Gal. 6.6. in all good things.
Q. What is the third duty of people to Miniſters?
A. To ſuffer themſelves to be guided & amended by their wholſome and faithfull doctrines. Heb. 13.17. 2 Tim. 4.15. [Theſe are not duties of curteſy and good nature, but of conſcience before God, who will require a ſtrict account of all the deriſion, ſlanders, hard uſage, and up-riſings againſt their Miniſters perſons, calling, doctrines, and godly admonitions, as if it were a glory to keep them under, or to carry on a fooliſh diſorder againſt them, &c. Hoſ. 4.4. Mat. 22.6, 7. 2 Chron. 36.16, 19. Act: 4.2, 3, 24. Rev. 11.5. See 1 Cor. 4 11, 12, 13. Jer. 26.15.
Q. What is the Miniſters duty to the flock?
A. 1. He muſt goe in and out before them in a (a) blameleſſe converſation. 2. & (b) feed them with wholſome doctrine, (a) plainly, diligently (b) and faithfully, ſeparating between ſheep and goates; between pretious and vile; having (e) compaſſion on the ignorant, and them that be out of the way. (a) 1 Tim. 4.12. Tit. 1.6. Levit. 21.4, 21. (b) Tit. 1.9. 2 Tim. 3.16. Jer. 23.28. (c) 2 Cor. 4.2. 2 Tim. 2.2, 25. 2 Cor. 12.15. (d) Ezek. 13.10, 19, 22. Jer. 15.19. (e) Mat 19.36, 38. Zach. 11.15. Heb. 5.2.
Q. There be whom God hath made eminent above us in gifts of mind, birth, age, or eſtate; and we muſt honour whom God hath honoured: What is our duty to ſuch?
A. To acknowledge their gifts, and reverence their perſons; eſpecially if they be found in the way of righteouſneſſe. Lev. 19.32. Prov. 16.31. Eſay 3.5. Dan. 2.48. 1 Tim. 5.1.
Q. And what is their duty back againe to Inferiours?
A. They muſt not diſdaine, nor diſpiſe others that be below themſelves in gifts or eſtate, but rather to be beneficiall to them, by their countenance, good example, & beſt uſe of their gifts. Jam. 2.2. Job. 29.15, 16, 17. Luk. 8.3. 1 Tim. 6.17. Tit. 2.2. [All tallents are given for uſe; as the eie recieves not ſight for it ſelfe, nor the ſtomack meat for it ſelfe, but for the body.]
Q. Becauſe all men are to be honoured, and we muſt not doe any thing whereby our brother is ſet at nought: Tell me how equals ought to behave themſelves one toward another? [As fellow-ſervants, fellow-Miniſters, fellow-Citizens.]
A. They muſt be curteous one to another, & reſpectfull, giving honour one to another, not provoking, envying, or diſgracing one another. 1 Pet. 2, 17. Rom. 12.10. Mat. 23.6. Gal. 5.26.
Q. Why muſt we be carefull of this Law?
A. Becauſe God hath annexed outward bleſſings to the conſcionable performance of the duties herein contained, namely, long life, & wel-being. [It ſhall be well with thee, and thou ſhalt live long.] We muſt take all outward promiſes with this condition, viz: ſo farre as they ſhall be expedient for the health of our ſoules, and not to the hurt of them; Gods children have long life, health, &c. or the bleſſing of them.]