A Memorial of Gods Judgment, Sermons · Sermon 4
THE DESCRIPTION OF A FRIEND.
Being A SERMON ON Prov. 17.17. A Friend loveth at all times, and a Brother is born for adverſity.
Prov. xvii. Verſ. xvii.
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adverſity.
THe condition of the Lords People is very neceſſitous and yet like to be much more, it may not be therfore now unſeaſonable to Preach unto you the Doctrine of neighbourly love, that we may be ſtirred up to become helpſul one to another, as the ſtate of times doth, or ſhall call for at our hands.
The nature of friend…hip, and the uſe thereof in diſtreſſed conditions, are the two main things of this Verſe to be lookt into. The nature of friendſhip, is to love, — A friend loveth, &c. Love is as much the formality of a friend, as rationality of a Man. Humane nature begets a kind of Kindred between all Man-kind, which ſtate ſuppoſeth love. — Cum natura quandam cognationem inter homines conſtituat, alterum alteri inſidiari nefas eſt, ſaith the Civilian. Whereas nature makes a certain Kindred between Men, for one to betray another, is moſt wicked. Now, if nature make a kind of Kindred, and ſo conſequently love, much more friendſhip makes a kind of Kindred, yea neer Kindred, a brother. A friend is, as my Text ſaith, a brother, as a very neer Kinſman, or as a neereſt Kinſman. And you may as well ſay a brother, is a brother without love, as ſay a friend is a friend without love.
A friend loveth, &c. that is, purely. Pure love is that which ſpringeth from pure Principles, which are two, love to GOD, and love to Man, as ſome way or other bearing his Image, either by Creation or Regeneration, and ſo not upon any ſelf-account. Thus David loved Saul, and was much pleaſed with the Men of Jabeſh Gilead that buried Saul, and much offended with the Amalechite that killed him, although he was his great and implacable Enemy. And thus Jonathan loved David, although David dethroned him. Jonathan was grieved that his Father had done David ſhame, ſo Jonathan aroſe from the Table in fierce anger, and did eat no meat the ſecond day of the MonethMonth, for he was grieved for David, becauſe his Father had done him ſhame, I Sam. 20.34. A friend loveth a friend upon his honour, as he would be found anſwering the will of God, and the Creatures true good, and for no bribe of applauſe or profit.
The Men of Iſrael were angry with the Men of Judah, for ſtealing David home from his exile without them. And the Men of Juda made this ingenuous reply. The King is neer of Kin to us, Wherefore then be ye angry for this matter? Have we eaten at all of the King's coſt? Or hath he given us any gift? 2 Sam. 19.42. Have we (as if they had ſaid) any ſelf-end in our kindneſs to David, but ſhewing pure love, as ſuch a neer Relation requires.
The love of ſympathy is pure love. The Iron moveth to the Load-ſtone, not from knowledge, conſequently not from deſign, but from ſome hidden ſimilitude in property between them, which is as love in rational Creatures, and from the hand of the firſt mover, which inclines this Creature to that, as pleaſeth him; and no more elſe can be ſaid, of the matters of friendſhip, no gifts, nor this, nor that make it: We love not yours but you, ſaith the Apoſtle.
Secondly, A friend loveth, &c. that is really, not in word only, but in deed, as the Apoſtle ſaith. And David ſaid to Abiathar, I knew how it would be, when Doeg the Edomite was there, I have occaſioned the death of all theſe Perſons of thy Fathers houſe, abide thou with me, fear not, for he that ſeeketh thy life, ſeeketh my life, but with me thou ſhalt be in ſafety, I Sam. 22.23. I will take care of thy life and livelihood, as of my own, as of he had ſaid. A friend is alter ego, another ſelf. Huſhai is called David's friend, and he made David's caſe and condition his own, and adventured himſelf far, as far as his life, and laid down his life for his friend.
Beaſts love one another, and will fight for one another to the death, whoſe friendſhip is but a love of ſympathy. There are in England 9725 Pariſhes, how many thouſand Souls may be in theſe Pariſhes? If I ſhould be asked by Men in Place, what is true friendſhip to all theſe Souls? I would anſwer, To love them really: What is that? I anſwer, To love them in words and in deeds, to do as he we read of, (in the Acts of the Apoſtles,) He loved our Nation, and built us a Synagogue, to provide able and faithful Preachers for every Pariſh through theſe Kingdomes, that is, to love their Souls, and to feed them, and ſo to love their Bodies, who are in want, and to feed them, and to cloath them, my meaning is▪ to ſet good Miniſters and good Magiſtrates over them, this were to love really, and ſo to be a true friend to the Nation, and to all in it. To give titles of honour and complements, this is not that which filleth up the definition of friendſhip. Cannot a City, and all Places ſtudy plaucibility of carriage, and muſt this by and by be called friendſhip?
But as Abſalom ſaid to Huſhai that ſtuck not to him in his diſtreſs, Is this thy kindneſs to thy friend? to talk and to give goodly complements? Why wenteſt thou not-with thy friend? 2 Sam. 16.7. A poor Widdow, a Miniſters poor Widdow (of which there be many now) complained to the Prophet Eliſha, and he became a friend to her, what was that? Anſw. He loved her really. And Eliſha ſaid to the Widdow of the Prophet. — What ſhall I do for thee? 2 Kings 4.2. and did do for her to purpoſe, as much as her condition needed. Set her out of debt, and gave her and hers wherewith to live upon. Pliny tells us of a Sea that doth, Accipere amnem in rotam ſed non recipit. That is, takes in ſuch a River, but doth not connaturaliſe it ſelf with it, doth not incorporate it as with other waters, but as it goeth in, ſo it goes out: And juſt ſo do we open our Doors, and Gates of our Houſes and Towns, and accipere, take in poor Miniſters and poor People, but do not recipere, receive them, i. e. welcome in, with — What ſhall I do for you and for yours? and make their wants as our own, and mingle tears, and ſighs, and cares, and travels, and ſpirits, and purſes with them.
Thirdly, A friend loveth, &c. that is, ſtrongly or unexpreſſibly. I am diſtreſſed for thee my brother Jonathan, very pleaſant haſt thou been unto me, thy love to me was [wonderful] paſſing the love of Women, 2 Sam. 1.26. Niphla from Pala, it ſignifies (ſaith the Critick) high and hidden, ſuch as Man's power cannot reach nor perform, nor reaſon attain unto. Uſed Exod. 33.16. For wherein ſhall it be known here, that I and thy People have found favour in thy ſight? Is it not in that thou goeſt with us? So ſhall we be ſeparated, I and thy People from all the People that are upon the Face of the Earth.— Separated, this is the word, that is, ſo ſhall we be a People above all expreſſion, admired, and beloved, and honoured, &c. So did Jonathan honour and eſteem David, beyond all expreſſion. And ſuch is the love of a friend it ſhould ſeem, as ſet forth to us by the Word.
There is a Hauke which they call accipiter humipeta, becauſe it lies hovering over Mice and little Vermin on the Earth, and petty ſmall Birds, as they peep in Hedges and Furrowes, and uſeth not to ſoar and ſeek any noble and great Game, as ſome other kind of ſtately Hawkes do: So there is a love of Man to Man, attended with ſome ſmall realities of action, giving ſome ſmall Mony as one goeth the Streets, and broken meat from the Table, and ſuch like little low things, of kindneſſes and love, which may well be ſpared, and no prejudice; but this kind of love, though it hath a reality in it, and doth good, and would there were more of this in theſe times, yet it doth not denominate the Perſon, which ſo doth a friend, according to the ſenſe of my Text, and yet he is a friend in a large ſenſe, or rather in a little ſenſe.
A friend is a Man of a noble Spirit, that ſoares high and far, to fetch the biggeſt and beſt prey, to feed and ſupply want. Hence it is that one compares friendſhip, to marriage; becauſe friendly love is ſtronger than that, which runs in any other Channel.
Now how wonderful for ſtrength! and how unexpreſſable for pleaſure and pleaſantneſs! Is marriage love? as we have ſome ſignature of it through Solomon's love-Song, where the word Friend is uſed, to expreſs Marriage-love, and the higheſt love which paſſeth between Man-kind. — His Mouth is moſt ſweet, yea he is altogether lovely: This is my beloved, and this is my [friend] O Daughter of Jeruſalem, Cant. 5.16. And proportionable to ſuch a great love, is all induſtry and expence to help and bleſs with the beſt and moſt precious things. As Araunah brought friendſhips like a Prince to David, and yet but a friend and a ſtranger, a Gentile. And the wiſe Men of the Eaſt, what Preſents they made to Joſeph and Mary, and their Child, or elſe they had had nothing to flee with all into Aegypt to ſave their lives. And our Saviour who was Lazarus's friend, how he ſighed and groaned to make a Reſurrection of Him, ſo that ſtanders by beholding his carriage, his ſighing, his weeping over Lazarus Grave, ſaid, Behold how he loved him! which is written, that we might have a right pourtraiture of a friend, So Chriſt called Lazarus — Our friend Lazarus is dead. And Martha which was Chriſt's friend, What a deal of care, and how taken up to provide all that poſſible could be for Chriſt, and thought ſhe could never provide what was good enough.
And ſo Pharaoh, when he became a friend to Joſeph, he thought he could never do enough for him, he ſet him up next to himſelf, over all his own Nation and Relations. And ſo the Perſian Emperor advanced Daniel and Mordecai. A friend is a favourite, and a favourite is a ſignet ſet on the heart, by the finger of God, than which, What is of more eſtcem?
At ſuch a great and unexpreſſableneſs of love, as the true form of a friend, pointeth that Scripture, Deut. 13.6. And obſerve well the words, at what a height a friend is put, even by the Lord himſelf, in ſome ſenſe it ſhould ſeem, above all relations. If thy brother, the Son of thy Mother, or thy Son or thy Daughter, or the Wife of thy boſome, or thy Friend, which is as thy own Soul; entice thee. The meaning of all theſe high expreſſions, is, that the love of a friend is very ſtrong, unexpreſſable, no relation, nor thing in this World, dear enough, nor full enough almoſt to expreſs it. A Brother, a Son, a Daughter, a Wife, yea ones own Soul; a Friend is as neer, as dear, as any of theſe, and being brought in in the cloſe, when he had named all neer Relations.— Or thy Friend which is as thine own Soul; he would ſeem to give preheminence of love to a friend, and ſet him, as Pharaoh did Joſeph, next indeed to his own Soul and Life. And if of due there go ſuch a deep Channel of love to the Creature, O! what an Ocean of love is due to Chriſt our good friend.
Fourthly, A friend loveth thus, as I have before-ſaid and loveth thus, not for a ſpurt and away,G…colampadi…s & Capito: Their friendſhip laſted as long as they lived. but he loveth thus — at all times. A friend loveth [at all times.] Cum dives eris plures numerabis amicos! Whilſt we need no friends, we ſhall have more than a good many.
But the love of friendſhip, is as the motion of the Sun, all the year, and in all weathers, Winter and Summer. Brutes love one another, only whilſt together, and whilſt they ſee one another, but when parted, they utterly forget one another; and thus do moſt love, which ſheweth it to be ſhort of the love of friendſhip.
A friend loveth at all times, when ſick, and when well, when poor as when rich, when abſent as when preſent, when dead as when alive. And Naomi ſaid unto her daughter in Law, bleſſed be he of the Lord who hath not left off his kindneſs to the living, and to the dead, Ruth 2.20. yea, or any that are of him, as David did Mephiboſheth, the Son of Jonathan, He ſhall eat at my Table, and be as mine own Children. And Jonathan ſaid to David go in peace, for as much as we have ſworn both of us in the Name of the Lord, ſaying, the Lord be between me and thee, and between my ſeed and thy ſeed for ever, 1 Sam. 20.42.
The love of friendſhip hath a kind of Eternity in it, a for ever: The Lord be between my Seed and thy Seed for ever: 'Tis a love like the love of God, a kindneſs like the kindneſs of God, as David expreſſeth it, that laſteth to the Third and Fourth Generation. Is there any of the Houſe of Saul that I may ſhew the kindneſs of God to him? that is, an everlaſting love, 2 Sam. 9.3.
'Tis noted by Hiſtorians of Queen Elizabeth, that as ſhe reformed corrupt Religion, ſo corrupt Coin. There is nothing ſo corrupt in theſe laſt days as love, both towards God and towards Man, as appears by the inſtability thereof towards both, which involveth both Tables of the Law, and ſo all Religion; and this is above all powers to reform, but God.
Fifthly, and Finally, A friend loveth at all times, that is, moſt tenderly and compaſſionately, and eſpecially in adverſity; which is the meaning of this ſignificant and emphatical expreſſion, which followeth — And a Brother is born for adverſity. The reading ſhould be, ſaith ſome,—And he is born a Brother in adverſity, that is, through his exceeding tender compaſſion, he become as the neereſt natural relation, and ſo is by his tender love, and tryed love, born and brought forth, as it were a new neer Kinſman, on purpoſe created of God, to ſerve the poor Creature in this ſtrait; as a Creature new made, and now made, which what a great honour it is to him, to whom God giveth a merciful heart? he is as a Creature then extraordinarily and purpoſely born, for ſuch a great and acceptable ſervice.
Abimelech the Prieſt loved David at all times, but moſt eſpecially when David was at a plunge, when he and his followers were ready to ſtarve for want of bread, then he gave them the Shew-bread, which was the Bread out of his own mouth, beſide the hazard he ran in it, of his life; and did not only give him hallowed bread on which the Prieſts lived, but obſerve how he takes his life in his hand, and ſpeaks for David to Saul, to blunt the edge of his fury againſt him. And who is ſo faithful among all thy ſervants as David, which is the Kings Son in Law, and goeth at thy bidding, and is honourable in thy Houſe? 1 Sam. 22.14. Did not his moſt tender and natural affection, beget him, and render him rather a brother, than a friend to David in this ſtrait?
The like inſtance is Ittai the Gittite, an alien. Return ſaith David to him, why ſhouldſt thou go up and down with me, ſeeing I go whither I may? 2 Sam. 15.20. And Ittai anſwered the King and ſaid, as the Lord liveth, and as my Lord the King liveth, in what place my Lord the King ſhall be, whether in death or life, even there alſo will thy ſervant be. What Brother, or what Child, or Father, could more tenderly and naturally have ſpoken and done? Had not his friendly affection begotten him a neer Kinſman, a Brother to David in his adverſity?
Plato endeavoured that meum and tuum, mine and thine, might not be heard of, in that Common-wealth wherein he was.
And this was the friendſhip of the Primitive Churches and Chriſtian World, without which they could not have ſubſiſted under ſuch bloody Perſecutions. And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one foul, neither ſaid any of them that ought which he poſſeſſed was his own, but they had all things common, and ſo with great power gave the Apoſtles witneſs, Act 4.32.
The Hiſtorian ſaith, that Queen Elizabeth commanded the whole Ocean, and laid out all to the ſupport of the Proteſtant Intereſt, againſt the Papiſts every where. By this tender and friendly love to the poor perſecuted Proteſtants, ſhe was (in that ſeaſon of the Churches adverſity) born a Siſter, or a Mother in Iſrael, as Debora is called for like reaſon.
Ʋſe Learn from hence theſe things: Firſt, That friendſhip is more than complement, a how do you, vain viſits, frothy, fooliſh diverſions, as carrying to Stage-Playes, which make calamity return more heavy, when Perſons are gone, which know to fhew no better friendſhip. And Joab fell to the ground on his Face, and thanked the King, and ſaid, now I know that I have found grace in the ſight of my Lord the King, in that the King hath fulfilled the requeſt of his Servant: 2 Sam. 14.22. Abſalom was a baniſhed Man, and Joab was his hearty friend, and he did not underſtand Court-complements; But, when things were done that might fully anſwer the diſtreſſes of his friend, there he underſtood it. Now (ſaith he) I know that I have found favour, now thou haſt fulfilled my requeſts, and done things that may fully relieve the diſtreſſed. Joab was born a Brother, as it were to Abſalom in his adverſity by his friendly love, and this written doubtleſs by the Holy Ghoſt, to let us know that friendſhip had much more than ſlight ſervice in it; It hath much, and through following and ſerving diſtreſſed cauſes and conditions, till Petitions with God and Men be granted, and ſome thing to purpoſe done, that will ariſe to full relief.
The Heathen when they would make one another believe, that there was more than words in what they ſaid, would uſe to cite their ſtrong god Hercules, as their Author— Ʋt de Hercule accepimus, as we have heard from Hercules; therefore ſurely it will be accompliſhed. A friend is a diſtreſſed Man's Hercules. My friend hath ſaid, he will take care for me in this, and in that diſtreſs, therefore ſurely it will be done, he will never ceaſe petitioning God and Man, he will never reſt Night nor Day, till he hath done ſome thing, and ſome thing to ſome purpoſe to relieve my diſtreſs.
We have found a friend no where ſo deficient, as where it hath been ſuppoſed to be moſt abundant, ſaith Seneca. Some have all their beſt gifts in their tongue, theſe are unfit to make friends, and yet the forwardeſt to pretend it.
Mephiboſheth which had not dreſſed his Feet from the day that David fled, till he returned, and came ſo undreſſed to meet him, is a fit Reproof of Complemental friendſhip.
Secondly, Learn from this Deſcription of a Friend, that a Friend is a rare Jewel. If we have hit the Deſcription of a Friend rightly, we doubt we ſhall not eaſily finde the Perſon. All of you have conſpired againſt me this day, and there is none that ſheweth me, that my Son hath made a League with the Son of Jeſſe, and there is none of you that is ſorry for me, or ſheweth unto me that my Son hath ſtirred up My Servant againſt Me: 1 Sam. 22.8.
To him that is afflicted pitty ſhould be ſhewed by his friend, yea by any body, by an Enemy, but ye do nothing but play the cenſorious Perſons againſt me, ſaid Job. And truly in great diſtreſſes, this is the Vinegar, Gall and Wormwood, which even Friends give, in ſtead of Cordials, in ſtead of compaſſions, and pains, and expence to make relief. A great many ſevere enquiries.
How did he come into ſuch want? ſurely he is an ill husband, he did not follow his buſineſs: How did he come into all this trouble? Surely he was a buſie body, he medled with that which he needed not have done: His Wife and Children go too fine. A thouſand holes are pickt in the Man's Coat quickly; and the reaſon, becauſe ſo poor, and needeth ſome to help him, and none of theſe holes found in his coat whilſt it had a good nap upon it, as long as he had no need of friends. So that they that go for Friends are the worſt of Enemies, and afflict in ſtead of comfort, and more afflict than an Enemy would do.
And yet alaſs this is commonly the friendſhip of this World, yea of ſuch too much whom God hath called out of this World, and off of this World; which is, as if one ſhould ſee a Man or Woman in the Field, and bleeding to death, and ſhould ſpend nis time in curious enquiries how it came, and who did it, and why would he go that way alone, and be out ſo late, and never do any thing to ſtay the Man's bleeding, or do any thing to ſave his life.
All People almoſt make diſtreſs and calamity the ſubject of cenſure, and not the object of compaſſion and friendſhip.
Either it is thus, or elſe it is, I will ſhew kindneſs to Hanun, as his Father ſhew'd kindneſs to me, 2 Sam. 10. I will invite ſuch, for they invited me, and I will viſit ſuch, for they viſited me, and theſe kind of Friends there be, and few at any higher rate.
A Samaritan is a rare Man, who though a ſtranger, and upon no account in the World, but as the wounded Man needed him, fell in with him unasked, and gave him a full relief, and what is more needed, put that upon my account, ſaid this ſtranger. And now, ſaith Chriſt, which is the neighbour and friend? Such a Neighbour now, and Friend, I fear, is hard to be found.
A Friend, ſaith Seneca, is not only rare in a Houſe, but in an Age. Aliter de amore atque eſt accipis, ſaith one.—Thou thinkeſt otherwiſe of love than it is; and ſo we think otherwiſe of friendſhip than it is; we think it a ſlight cheap cold buſineſs, and ſo think that the World is full of friends and friendſhips, till we come to want a Friend.
We think they are friends, which ſerve us as the Welſh—Witch ſerved Teolin the Second Prince of North-Wales, who told him that he ſhould ride through London with a Crown upon his Head, and this was to comfort him; whereupon he … …o be vexatious to the borderers of England, till at laſt he was in Battel overthrown, and his Head cut off, and fixed on a ſtake, and adorned with a Paper Crown, and was by a Horſe man carried triumphantly through London.
And, if People do but put ſome pleaſing fooliſh things in our Heads, and flatter us, this is for your honour, and 'tother thing much for your intereſt, though never ſo deſtructive, theſe are friends, and embraced, and prefered. And ſo do this and do that, and ye ſhall have a living, and any thing that I can do for you: and ſo the friendſhip hath ſome ill condition in it, which to be embraced, might outwardly advance peradventure, but inwardly caſt down certainly; yet theſe which put theſe Paper-crowns upon our Heads, would be accounted great friends, and ſo they are to an ill Intereſt.
Learn that the Providence of GOD is much to be reverenced, for he makes friends, and moſt an end of ſtrangers, and others fail us, on whom our expectation moſt is, that we may the more reverence GOD and his Providence.
Jeremiah's Kindred failed him, and God raiſed up Ebedmelech, and Ahikam, and both at ſuch times, that ſurely Jeremiah had otherwiſe loſt his life: he had been ſtarved to death, had it not been for Ebedmelech. —My Lord the King, theſe Men have done evil in all that they have done to Jeremiah the Prophet, whom they have caſt into the Dungeon, and he is like to die for hunger in the place where he is, for there is no more bread in the City, Jer. 38.9. which kindneſs of his God will reward, ſee Jer. 39.16. By which it is evident he had ſtarved, had it not been for the friendſhip of this ſtranger. And he had been hanged, or beheaded, or ſome ſudden violent death done to him by Jehojakim, had not the hand of Ahikam been with and for Jeremiah. For the King at the ſame time, had fetcht Ʋriah out of Aegypt, a Prophet who propheſied the ſame that Jeremiah did, and ſlew him with the Sword.— Nevertheleſs the hand of Ahikam was with Jeremiah to ſave him, Jer. 26.24. It is brought in with a nevertheleſs, to ſhew the admirable Providence of God, who did raiſe up this friend, to ſtick ſo cloſe to a poor helpleſs Man.
And the poor Criple which had lain at the Pool long, of a Diſeaſe of 38 Years, and then he had lain till he had periſhed in likelihood, but that Chriſt came there, and became a friend to him, to ſhew us, that the Providence of God is much to be reverenced, for he brings forth Brethren for adverſity, he creates a Brother for the day of adverſity.
David was a ſtranger to his Brethren, and an alien unto his Mothers Children, Pſal. 69.8. And yet well known to Gittai a ſtranger, that would live when he did, and die when he did, and this queſtionleſs, that David might ſee the Man of God's providence and ſpecial care, and remember it.
For had we our reliefs ſtill, from ſuch as are ſome way engaged to be helpful, either as ſome way related, or as ſome way by our kindneſs to them obliged to us, it would make us take our eſcapes in danger, our ſupplies and helps in ſtraits, more ſlightly, and forgetfully.
Courſe uſually are the kindneſſes of neer relations, ſometimes as Reeds they run into our hands, and ſo far from being merciful, that they are unjuſt.
As Joſeph's Brethren to him, and God had a Soveraign hand in all that, that he might raiſe Brethren to Joſeph himſelf, yea that he might make Joſeph a better Brother in adverſity to them, than they had been to him.
The laſt Uſe of this Point is for Exhortation, Do you become ſuch friends, Brethren, for this Day of Adverſity. Be pittiful, be kindly affectioned, be tender-hearted, be cloathed with humility and bowels, ſtoop and waſh the Saints Feet, yea to pull thine Enemies Oxe out of the Ditch, and to lift up his Beaſt, if fallen down under his burden, though thy cruel heart would paſs him by. But as for me when they were ſick, my cloathing was Sackcloath, I humbled my ſoul with faſting, and my Prayer returned into mine own boſom. I behaved my ſelf, as though he had been my friend, or brother, I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his Mother, I was rewarded evil for all this good. Pſal. 35.12, 13, 14.
If ye be friends to friends, What ſingular thing do ye? Be friends to ſtrangers, yea to the poor and friendleſs; ſuch as whoſe Perſons you do not know, only their caſes are well known; yea be friends to enemies, yea though illy requited: So was David, ſo was, and ſo is Chriſt to Thouſands and Millions every Day, among which it may be you are ſome. They lacked not any thing, in the firſt Church of the Goſpel, Act. 4.34. They fulfilled the Law of brotherhood; If you become friends, you become brethren, upon ſuch brethren, born for ſuch extremities.
And if ye take the name of friend, remember that you are created Brethren in the day of adverſity, and fulfill the Law of your adopted and choſen relation. Let not the diſtreſſed want, if you can help them; I cannot exhort you yet to ſell to be merciful, but I would I could firſt exhort you to buy ſome thing here and there, that you might be ſubſtantial friends to many in diſtreſs, Miniſters and others, Miniſters Widows and others, the Widows and the Fatherleſs, and the oppreſſed, and the oppreſſed and ruined in many Towns and Places, who are eaten up with Vermin, and have no helper, no friend.
But one ſaith he will help, and he will be a friend, and he eats the fleſh; and another he ſaith, give him but a good Fee, and he will help, and he will be a friend, and he takes the poor Carcaſe that is beſt, and he picks the bones; and of theſe friends there are great ſtore, but few ſuch as my Text deſcribeth, for which I fear the Land mourneth, and much more will.
Be friends to the diſtreſſed be ſo ſimply. Is there any of the Houſe of Saul, that I may ſhew the kindneſs of God to him, 2 Sam. 9.3. And Ziba that Wretch ſaid, Jonathan hath yet a Son that is lame of his Feet; and would not ſo much as give his Name, nor put the leaſt word of reſpect, as if he would have inſinuated to David, that this Criple was not worth the looking after, by ſuch a Man of honour as David. And ſuch ſelf-ſeeking Wretches, great Men have at their elbows, which keep them from becoming ſimple and ſincere friends. For ſimple friendſhip is to look after Criples, and beggers, blind, and lame, and halt, as Chriſt doth. To invite them to our Table, which have ſcarce nothing to eat at their own Table, who to be ſure cannot invite us again; and to be Legs to the lame, and Eyes to the blind, &c. But theſe are ſo unthankful, that who can have any heart to do any thing for them? I anſwer, Such whoſe hearts are ſimple, and who as David ſhew ſimple friendſhip, they will look upon Criples as Criples, and blind as blind, lame and blind in their Souls, as well as in their Bodies; and, if you would have People be thankful, be ſimple in your kindneſs, let them ſee that you do not ſeek theirs in the leaſt but them, every way the relief of them. Mephiboſheth was never like to make a Man of uſe to attend upon David, to honour his Table; this had been rather to have ſought a friendſhip, than to have ſhewed one. It is a Cuſtome amongſt the Turkes, not to believe a Chriſtian's, or a Jew's complaint againſt a Turk, without a Turk's witneſs too, and that is the reaſon, why in ſuch Caſes Juſtice is much corrupted, and ſo little to be had; I only allude to this: The caſes and conditions of many oppreſſed poor and mean ones is ſuch, that unleſs they can get ſuch and ſuch as are great to witneſs to their cauſe, and own them, and ſtick to them, their own complaints will not be believed nor heard; not indeed will any take it in hand, unleſs they ſee that which may be good ſelf-encouragement, and advantage; ſo that falleth out to be true, which that great Stateſman obſerved in his Days.—The rich have many friends, not only one friend, of which the poor would be glad, but many friends, and the Poor is hated of his own Neighbour, Prov. 14.20. And, Prov. 19.4. Wealth maketh many friends, but the poor is ſeparated from his neighbour. When ye ſee a gold Ring on a Man's Finger, there you take him up, and his cauſe is good, as Abſalom ſaid, and ye do but want one well to plead it, and I will do it, and I will do it: and what a many friends the wealthy Man, and the Man with the Gold Ring, and long Hair hath! but a poor Man that hath but one Ewe Lamb, as Nathan's Parables, is, but a little eſtate left, and that in danger to be all taken away too, who ſtrives to plead this Perſons caſe? and to own, and to cleave to ſuch a helpleſs one? Wherefore I exhort, be ſimple in your friendſhip, as purely born for adverſity.
Secondly, Be tender and ſtrong friends, that is, not in word only, but in deed, and in the greateſt actions, and labours, and deeds, which diſtreſſes need to relieve them. What a friend Barzillai was to David in his diſtreſs, againſt Abſalom beyond Jordan, How brought he him all Proviſions for Himſelf and Followers, which David much remembred, becauſe it was ſo ſeaſonable. And what a friend was Obadia to the Lord's Prophets, when the violence of Ahab and Jeſſabel was great, who hid them by Fifties in a Cave, when it muſt needs be with the peril of his life. And our Saviour ſeems to grant ſuch a ſtrength in friendſhip, as to lay down the life for a friend. Joh. 15.13. Greater love hath no Man than this, that a Man lay down his life for his friends. Our Saviour ſeems to grant ſuch a height in the love of friendſhip. And the Apoſtle ſaith, we ought to lay down our life for a brother. And a friend is a created Brother of our own Creation, and created of purpoſe for a plunge. Therefore it will be lovely, to get all the heights of true friendſhip in this evil Day, becauſe diſtreſſes and plunges are ſo high, and hard, and great. Nothing leſs almoſt will relieve ſome poor diſtreſſed People, unleſs we do much expoſe our ſelves as Obadia, and the Brethren which reſcued Paul out of the Tumult, when he was knockt down, and all thought he was dead. And Rizpah the Daughter of Aiah took Sack-cloth, and ſpread it for her upon the Rock, from the begining of Harveſt till Water dropped upon them, and ſuffered neither the Birds of the Air to reſt on them, by Day, nor the Beaſts of the Field by Night, 2 Sam. 21.10. Rizpah made a covering over her of this Sack-cloth, and ſate under it day and night, with thoſe dead Corpſes of Saul's Family, which friendſhip was very ſtrong, and tender and painful, and David took it wonderful well at her hands. And if ſhe did ſo watch with the dead, that no violence might be done by Birds, or Beaſts;It was strong friendſhip in him, which ſaid come and let us go and die with him. 'Twere well if we could watch with the living, and that we could play the friends ſo, to many in Priſons, and bonds, and extremities, which are not dead Corpſe yet, but almoſt ſo, and many of them worſe than ſo, that is, worſe than if they were dead; my meaning is, that where diſtreſs is great, we would become great friends.—Our Rule is to covet the beſt gifts, to be moſt eminent and excellent in every Grace, and be you in this, of friendſhip.
Be thus always: And Hyram King of Tyre ſent his Servants unto Solomon for he had heard that they had anointed Him King, &c. for Hiram was ever a lover of David. 1 Kings 5.1. This is the Property made of friendſhip in my Text—A friend loveth at all times. Had Hiram been a lover of David only ſometimes, and when David had no need of him, doubtleſs David would have been cautious of him, and not have put him among the number of his friends; but; he was always a lover of David. And it fell on a day, that Eliſha paſſed to Shunem, where was a great Woman, and ſhe conſtrained him to eat Bread. And ſo it was that as oft as he paſſed by, he returned in thither to eat bread. Not once or twice coldly invited, but ſhe conſtrained him, and as oft as he paſſed by, and that ſhe might be ſure of him always when he went that way,— She ſaid to her Husband, behold now, I perceive that this is an holy Man of God, which paſſeth by us continually, let us make a little Chamber in the Wall, and let us ſet for him there a Bed, a Table, a Stool, and a Candleſtick, and it ſhall be when he cometh to us, that he turn in thither, 2 Kings 4.10. Friendſhip is a natural thing, and what is natural is durable. I have none that doth ſo naturally care for me, ſaith the Apoſtle Paul of Timothy. A friend becomes a Brother.— that is, naturally affected; as if fleſh of his fleſh, and bone of his bone, and 'tis ſuppoſed in nature, that natural relations are natural always; as hand, and the foot to the head, and the head to the hand and foot are tenderly and ſtrongly careful and affectionate always. Jonathan went to David in the Cave, and ſtrengthned his hand in God, as well as when David was in favour with Saul; and that their friendſhip might be everlaſting, how ſolemnly they ſwore one to another, that their friendſhip might run along from Generation to Generation, and yet Jonathan was a Brother to David by marriage, and yet he rather choſe to ſtick and truſt to the bond of ſolemn friendſhip, a Brother as made ſo, by becoming a friend.
Now for Motives to preſs you, to become ſuch friends: Firſt, This may be ſaid; God looks for it. I was an hungry, and ye gave me no meat, I was thirſty and ye gave me no drink, I was a ſtranger and ye took me not in, naked and ye cloathed me not, Mat. 25.43. I was a ſtranger and needed a friend, and could finde none; This complaint againſt Nabals at the great Day, ſheweth that GOD much expecteth this, that we ſhould be friends to ſuch as are in diſtreſs, and have no help, nor cannot help themſelves. Thou ſhalt neither vex a ſtranger nor oppreſs him; for ye were ſtrangers in the Land of Aegypt; ye ſhall not afflict Widows or Fatherleſs Children. If thou afflict them in any wiſe, and they cry at all to me, I will ſurely hear their cry, and my wrath ſhall wax hot, and I will kill you with the Sword, and your Wives ſhall be Widows, and your Children Fatherleſs, Exod. 22.21, 22, 23, 24. The reaſon why the Lord would not have ſtrangers, nor Widows and Fatherleſs abuſed, and that he will take it ſo ill at our hands to do it, is, becauſe theſe uſually are friendleſs, and have none to help them, whereas he expecteth therefore that we ſhould (and ought to) be friends, and help theſe, and not do as all do, or as the moſt do abuſe them, or at leaſt not look after them. By which it is manifeſt, that God looks that we ſhould be friends to our friendleſs, 'tis their due, and therefore the friendleſs may look for it too, as well as God. With hold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it, Prov. 3.27.
Many need friends in this day, therefore become friendly. And when Abſalom's ſervants came to the Woman to the Houſe, they ſaid, Where is Ahimaas and Jonathan? And ſhe ſaid, they be gone over the Brook of Water. And when they had ſought and could not finde them, they returned to Jeruſalem. And it came to paſs after they were departed, that they came up out of the Well, and went and told King David, and ſaid ariſe, and paſs quickly over the Water, for thus hath Ahitophel counſelled againſt you, 2 Sam. 17.20, 21. Many of the Lord's People in theſe evil Days, need friends to hide them, the Antichriſtian World is ſo full of Achitophels purſuing of them; be therefore as this Woman, friends, with your Houſes, with your Eſtates, with your Intereſts. The Diſciples let down Paul at a Window in a Basket: Alaſs, ah, and alaſs! the ſtraits which many have been put to in this day, and how many may yet be, who knows then how much it is needed, that you become friends to the diſtreſſed. For many of us Miniſters, it may be ſaid of us, as Livy. Paſtor accola ejus loci, a Paſtor that dwells, hard by that Place. And ſo we are Paſtors, which live by our Places, ſome of us, or rather indeed die by them, but cannot live in them; and more then many can do that, To live by their places, but muſt hide their heads one while, and wander here and there another while, to get Bread for them and theirs, and well when they ſeek it, if they can finde it. And not a few Miniſters and others in this condition, how many then need friends.
Thirdly, Conſider the great ſervice that you may do for God, and for his People, this way. And three of the thirty chief went down, and came to David in the harveſt time, unto the Cave of Adullam; and the troop of the Philiſtines pitched in the Valley of Rephaim. And David was then in an hold, and the Gariſon of the Philiſtines was then in Bethlehem. 2 Sam. 23.13. And Adullam was but a little from thence, and yet David's three Worthies came to him, and relieved him in the face of them all, Troop and Gariſon of the Philiſtines, and ſo did him the ſervice of Threeſcore, or Three-Hundred Men. So one friend to a poor David in a Cave, in a Priſon, one Ebedmelech to a Jeremia in a Dungeon, is worth a Thouſand Courtiers with all their fine words, and a Thouſand Citizens, with all their Where is he? And How doth he do? And ſhall we never ſee him again? Be kind to Barzillai, and ſhew favour to his Sons, and let them eat at thy Table, for [ſo] they came to me when I fled, becauſe of Abſalom thy Brother. 2 Kings 2.7. David ſets them down with Emphaſis, [ſo] they came to me: when I fled from Abſalom thy Brother, who was like to have carried away all from me and thee too, and when few did ſtick to me on the other ſide of Jordan, where the fight was between Abſalom and his Father, and in that ſide of the River, where friends were thin, and very tickle which ſide to take to, then did Barzillai and his Sons own David, and did at that ſtrait a World of ſervice in a little time, David puts a [ſo] upon it, and cites it upon his Death-bed.—For ſo they came unto me. One ſaith of Friends, that they are ſuch Jewels, that Kings can have none, meaning no faithful friends, and yet David had one Barzillai, that did ſo come to him, and help him. Know your ſeaſons, your objects, and become ſuch friends, and therein know your uſe.
Fourthly, You may obtain great bleſſings in this way, both here and hereafter. David charged Solomon that he ſhould take Barzillai's Sons to Court with him, and make them to eat at his Table. The Lord built the Midwives Houſes for their friendſhip to Moſes; and what a reward did he give Ebedmelech, for his kindneſs and friendſhip to Jeremiah, ſee Jer. 39.16, 17. Jeremia hath a Propheſie on purpoſe from the Lord: —Go and ſpeak to Ebedmelech the Ethi…, …. Thus ſaith the Lord of Hoſts, … God of Iſrael behold I will bring my words upon this City for evil and not for good, and they ſhall be accompliſhed in that day before thee, but I will deliver thee in that day, ſaith the Lo…d, and thou ſhalt not be delivered into the hands of the Men, of whom thou art afraid, for I will ſurely deliver thee, and thou ſhalt not fall by the Sword, but thy life ſhall be for a prey unto thee, becauſe thou haſt put thy truſt in me, ſaith the Lord. What God will do with Cities and Nations of the World, in theſe laſt and moſt ſinful times, who can tell? O how glad would ye all be, that in ſuch a doubtful day of common danger, if any could ſecure (and if it were) but your bare life; how much more if any could ſecure you and yours, your Families and Eſtates; and in probability Ebedmelech did ſhare in this alſo, as far as any did, for the manner of God is not to give barely what he ſaith, but ſomething more, and oft-times much more. And what a kindneſs in this World did the Lord give the Shunamite when Eliſha had kindneſs, he gave her a Childe, and then when dead, gave him to her again, and then after that warned her of the Famine that was to be Seven Years, and willed her what to do: and then at the end of that time, when ſhe returned, God ſo ordered in his Providence, that Gehazi telling the King the ſtories of the Miracles which his Maſter did, whilſt he was telling, how he raiſed the Shunamite's Childe, that the Shunamitiſh Woman came in, and ſo had all her Eſtate again, and the profits thereof for the time that ſhe was abſent in the Famine. Accrevit pectori caeſpes, you may get a Fence Breaſt-high, againſt all danger; yea Head-high, ſafety to your lives, to your Children, to your Eſtates, by becoming as the Shunamite, friends, and as Ebedmelech, friends; think of it.
And as you may obtain great bleſſings in this World, ſo you may obtain great bleſſings in the World to come; God doth reward of Grace, though not of Merit; Then ſhall the King ſay to them on the right hand, Come ye bleſſed of my Father; inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the Foundation of the World, for I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat, I was thirſty and ye gave me drink, I was a ſtranger and ye took me in, naked and ye cloathed me, I was ſick and ye viſited me; I was in Priſon and ye came to me: then ſhall the righteous anſwer him, Where ſaw we thee thus and thus? And the King ſhall anſwer, Verily I ſay unto you, in as much as ye have done it unto the leaſt of theſe my Brethren ye have done it unto the, Mat. 26.40. The Rule is to do good to all, but eſpecially to ſuch as Chriſt will call his Brethren at the great Day; but we may have rewards in Heaven, for being kind and friends to them which never ſhall come there. Hence it is that Chriſt elſe-where ſaith, Make to your ſelves friends of the Mammon of unrighteouſneſs, that when ye fail, they may receive you into everlaſting habitations. He that is faithful in that which is leaſt, is alſo faithful in much▪ and he that is unjuſt in the leaſt is unjuſt alſo in much; if therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous Mammon Who will commit to your truſt the true treaſure? Luk. 16.9, 10, 11. If you be friends with your eſtates, your eſtates will be great friends to you, your tranſitory riches will receive you into everlaſting Habitations, they will make a large entrance for you into Heaven, though may be none at all for them to whom ye ſhew kindneſs, for they may be unworthy, yet ye ſhall in no wiſe loſe your reward. 'Twere well if friendſhips would convert all, to whom they are ſhewed, as they may do ſome for ought I know; but, if they do not convert any, yet you ſhall have your reward in Heaven, your riches by being made friendſhips to the diſtreſſed, make themſelves your friends, and will receive you into everlaſting Houſes. But obſerve what follows, If ye be unfaithful in this unrighteous man, that is, the riches of this World, with which▪ and for which, many make themſelves unrighteous, if ye do not ſhew friendſhips, as good Stewards of a little Talent. Who will give higher gifts to you, as grace and glory? So that you may ſhut up Heaven, or open Heaven, as to all ends and purpoſes, as to grace and glory, or no grace, nor no glory, as ye become friends to others, or not friends with what you have; now take your choice, ſhew to the diſtreſſed of this Age, that ye were born for this day to be friends to them, or elſe it had been better ye had never been born. The Ravens will riſe in judgment againſt you, who did ſpare the Meat out of their Mouths, to feed Elijah in his diſtreſs, and became friends to him.
Finally, If we ſhould be Friends as Brethren born for the day of the adverſity of one or two, then ſurely we ſhould be friends to the whole Church of God; and if we ſhould be friends to this and that particular Perſon, than much more to the whole Nation, and to the publick compages of all. Chriſt needs friends, ſuch as Abraham, who was a friend of God, and ſo doth his Church and People need friends, faithful friends, in this Evil Day, wherein many prove falſe; we are all born for this Day of adverſity, to ſave the whole from the wrath of God, from Peſtilence, Sword, and all the Evils which do aſſault us. David was troubled at the Elders of Juda, which ſhould have been Leaders, that they were the laſt to bring the King to his Houſe, 2 Sam. 19.11. So may him whom that King typified, Jeſus Chriſt be troubled, that the great Ones put not their Neck to his yoke, but are the laſt which ſet their hands and hearts to any works of the Lord, to ſhew themſelves friends to him, and to the Church and States in which they live. You have Ten parts in the Nation, over what inferior and poor Perſons have, and ſo hath the Church and State Ten parts more in you, than in others; and therefore one of you ſhould be Ten Friends, twenty friends in this Day, to lift up Jacob which is low▪ to relieve the Widow, the Fatherleſs, all the oppreſſed, and to ſee that Magiſtrates and Miniſters faithfully keep the charge of the Lord; and ſo make up the breaches of the City of David, which are many, and lie in the Gap, and not make gaps and breaches, by violence, and rage, and bad example.
FINIS.