Commentary Upon Acts, Part 3 – Title page 10
Part III. The Roman Story.
Sect. I. Caius still foolish and cruell.
THis yeare did Caius make an expedition to the Ocean, as if hee would have passed over into Britaine: but the greatest exploit that hee did was, that first hee went a little upon the Sea, and then returning, hee gave a signall to his Souldiers that they should fall to battaile, which was nothing else but that they should gather cockles and shells upon the shoare, and so hee returned with these goodly spoiles, and brought them to Rome in a foolish triumph, as if hee had conquered the Ocean: being come into the City hee had like to have slaine all the Senate, because they had not decreed divine honours and worship to him: But hee became reconciled to them againe upon this occasion: Protogenes his bloodhound (that used to carry his two Bookes, or Black-bills, the one whereof hee called a Sword, and the other a Dagger; in which Books he inrolled whom hee destined to death or punishment) he comming one day into the Court, and being saluted and fawned upon by all the Senate, was among them all saluted by Scribonius Proculus. Upon whom looking with a grim and displeased countenance, What, saith hee, dost thou salute mee, that hatest so deadly the Emperour my Master? Whereupon the rest of the Senators arose, came upon him and pulled him in pieces. With this piece of service so well suiting with the Tyrants humour, hee was so well pleased, that hee said they had now regained his favour again. Under his cruelty this yeare perished by name, Ptolomy the sonne of King Iuba, because he was rich: Cassius Becillinus for no crime at all: and Capito his father, because hee could not indure to looke upon his sonnes death. Flattery delivered L. Vitellius our late Governour of Syria; and it was much to appease such a Lion, but that it was a flattery without parallel.
Sect. II. Caius profane.
The blasphemous Atheist continued still in his detestable Deity, being what God he would when he would, and changing his Godship with the change of his cloths: sometimes a male Diety, sometime a female, sometime a God of one fashion, sometime of another. Sometime he was Iupiter, sometime Iuno, sometimes Mars, sometimes Venus, sometime Neptune, or Apollo, or Hercules, and sometimes Diana: and thus whilst he would be any thing, he was nothing, and under the garbe of so many Gods he was indeed nothing but Devill: He built a Temple for himselfe in Rome, and made himselfe a roome in the Capitoll, that he might (as he said) converse with Iupiter. But it seemes Iupiter and hee fell out, for he removed his owne mansion, and built himselfe a Temple in the Palace, because he thought that if Iupiter and he shared in the same Temple, Iupiter would have the upper hand, and the more repute. Therfore that his owne Deity might have room enough, hee built this new Temple; and that hee might bee sure to get equall worship with Iupiter, hee intended to set up the statue of Iupiter Olympius there, but pictured directly after his own Image; so that it must have been Iupiters statue, but Caius his picture; Iupiters trunke, but Caius his head and face; but this fine designe came to nothing, and was cleane spoiled, for the Ship that went for this statue was spoiled with li…htning; and there was a great laughing alwaies heard, whensoever any one went about to meddle with the picture, to forward the bunnesse; and truly it was as fit an Omen, as likely could have been invented for it. When this invention thus failed him, hee found out a new trick, to get part of the Temple of Castor and Pollux for himself, and joyned it to the Palace; and hee so contrived the matter, that his entrance was just in the middle betweene those two Gods: and therefore hee called them his Porters, and himselfe hee stiled the Dialis: and his deare Caesonia, and his uncle Claudius, and divers of the richer sort hee ordained to bee his Priests, and got a good summe of money of every one of them for their Office; nay hee would bee a Priest unto himself, and which best suited with him in such a function, he admitted his Horse to bee fellow Priest with him; and because he would be a right Iupiter indeed, he would have his trickes to imitate thunder and lightning, and he would ever bee defying Iupiter in Homers speech, Either take me away, or I will take thee. And thus was his Palace parted into a senselesse contrariety, one part to bee a Temple, and another part a common Stewes; in one, Caius to be adored as a God, in another, Caius to play the Beast, deflowring Virgins, violating Boyes, adulterating Matrons, exacting and extracting money from all; and using to tumble himselfe in heapes of Money which he had so gotten.
THE CHRISTIAN HISTORY, THE JEWISH, and the ROMAN, OF The Yeare of Christ 42. And of
Caius Caligula 5.
Claudius 1.
Being the Yeare of the World 3969. And of the City of Rome, 794. Consuls
Caius Caesar IV.
Cn. Sentius Saturninus.
London, Printed by R. C. for Andrew Crooke, 1645.