Commentary Upon Acts, Part 2
PART II. The Roman Story.
Sect. I. Caius still cruell.
THe beginning of this yeere Caius was Consull, but held that place only for a monethmonth or thereabouts, and then resigned for six moneths more to his partner Apronius, and after those six moneths Sabinius Maximus took the place. A policy above his reach, howsoever hee came to it, to shake the chiefe Magistracy by so often changes, that his own power might stand the surer. Both in his Consulship, and after it, hee behaved himselfe after his wonted manner of barbarousnesse and cruelty, but that now hee began to adde one vice more to his cruelty in bloodinesse, namely intolerable covetousnesse and oppression. Now, saith Dion, was nothing but slaughter: For many of the Nobles were condemned, many perished by the Sword-playes, and many imprisoned by the late Emperour Tiberius, were drawne to execution. Now did hee bend himselfe to crosse the people, and the people being thorowly incensed began to crosse him. The maine causes of this his displeasure (guesse how weighty) were such as these: Because they came not to the Playes and Shewes so constantly, and at such constant times as hee had appointed: because sometimes when they came, they liked such sports as hee liked not, & contra: And because they once extolling him, called him by the title of young Augustus. For such occasions as these (behold the madnesse of a man self-willed) he brake out into all cruelty, slaying many at the Theater for the one fault, and many as they went home for the other, and many at their own homes, or otherwhere for a third. And now was his rage growne so high, that hee wished that all the City had but one head, that hee might strike it off at one blow; and bewailed his times, for that they had not been enfamoused with some notable misery of the Roman State, as was the Reigne of Augustus with the overthrow of Varus and his Army in Germany; and the Reigne of Tiberius with the slaughter of above twenty thousand men by the fall of an Amphitheater at Fidenae. And that wee may take a full view of his cruell words and actions here together, (the Reader I hope will not bee punctuall in expecting an exact order of time in this disorder of conditions) his common resolution against the people always was, Let them hate mee and spare not, so that they fear me. But what was his anger think you, when his very feasts and imbraces of his minions were mixed with cruelty? hee used to have men tortured in his presence as hee sate at meat, mingling his sauce as it were with innocents blood. At a great feast to which hee had invited the two Consuls, hee suddenly fell out into an extreme laughter, and upon demand of his reason, his answer was, Because hee had power to take away their two heads whensoever hee pleased. And whensoever hee was kissing the neck of his wife or paramour, hee would constantly adde these words, but cruelly amorous, This necke, as faire as it is, when I command shall bee cut off. Such was his jesting; and as for his earnest, I suppose you will easily beleeve, that it was proportionable. Whereas hitherto, hee had been very free and lavish of his tongue in dispraising Tiberius, and not onelyonly had not checked, but also countenanced, and taken delight in those that spake ill of him, as well as hee; hee now turneth his tune, and breaketh out as fluently into his commendations: pleading that hee himselfe had liberty to say what hee list, but accusing those that had assumed the like liberty, when as no such thing belonged to them. Then did hee cause a list or catalogue to bee read of those that had been executed and put to death under Tiberius; laying withall the death of the most of them to the charge of the Senate, and accused some for accusing them, others for witnessing against them, and all, for condemning them. These things hee alledged out of those books which in the beginning of his reigne and in the time of his seeming goodnesse, hee professed that hee had burnt: and after a most bitter and terrible speech now made among them in the Senate, and reviving an act of treason for speaking against the Prince, hee suddainly departed out of the Senate and the Citie. In what case the Senate and the people were, that were guilty of either words or actions, that hee had charged them withall, it is readily guessed, but how they shall come off, and what they shall doe to escape, is not easily to bee resolved. Their presentest helpe is to fawne and speake faire, and that course they take, praising him infinitely at their next meeting, for his justice and piousnesse, and giving him as infinite thankes that hee suffered them to live, and decreeing that sacrifices should be offered annually to his clemency on that very day that those charges were published against so many, seeking to appease his senselesse and foolish anger by as senselesse and foolish a pacification. But how little they could sacrifice, or pray or praise him into any better mind then hee hath been in hitherto, you shall see by the sequell.
Sect. II. An inhumane crueltie.
Among the many cruelties of this monster, the murder of Esius Proculus may beare some bell, because hee slew him for nothing but onelyonly for this, for that hee was such a one as God had made him. This man was the goodliest man of person and shape in all the Citie, insomuch that hee was commonly called Colosseros, for his extraordinary propernesse and stature: One day as hee sate a spectator upon the scaffolds, of the bloody sports below, Caius commanded him suddainly to bee put downe among the combatants, and there to fight for his life. When hee had had a tryall with two severall men and came off victorious, the inhumane tyrant caused him speedily to bee bound, and arraied in tatters and rags to bee led about the Citie, shewed to the women, and then slaine. So much of beast had this monster in him that hee could not indure the goodlinesse of a man.
Sect. III. Caius his luxury▪ lavishnesse and prodigality.
Thus bestiall was hee towards men, and no lesse was hee in another kind towards women. This appeared in the deflouring of his owne sisters, and adulterating the most of the noble Ladies of the Citie. Hee was his owne Pimpe, and purveyer for his lust, with this open and hideous way of brothelry. Hee would invite the great men and their Ladies to supper, and as the women passed by him in way of salutation he would earnestly and leasurely view them, mercantium more, saith my author, as they doe that are to buy any thing, and if any matron for modesty held downe her head, hee would lift it up, that hee might have his full survey: shee that pleased him, hee tooke into a retiring roome and adulterated: and presently would hee bring her forth againe, and tell openly whether shee had given him content or no. Nor was hee content with this choice and varietie of women neither, but that hee might bee beastly in every kind, hee abstained not from the abomination of Sodomie with men. But let us stay no longer upon him in this his filthinesse, but trace him a little in his owne tolerable vices of fantasticknesse and prodigalitie. Hee seemed to affect a singularitie in these three things, sinning, working and spending, according to the uncontrolednesse of his will, the vastnesse of his command, and the hugenesse of his revenue. Hee invented new manner of bathings, and prodigious kinds of meats and feasts; hee would dissolve most rich and precious Jewels in Vinegar, and then drinke them off. And because hee doubted, as it seemeth, that hee could not waste his treasure fast enough with such tricks as these, hee would stand upon a Tower divers dayes together, and fling great summes of money among the people. To all which wayes of lavishing, and expensivenesse, joyned monstrous workes and machinations, which shewed at once, his folly in their undertaking, and the vastnesse of his power in their performance: As levelling mountaines to even the plaine, and in other places filling up the plaine to equall mountains; sometimes causing rocks of flint to be cut thorough, to make a passage▪ and sometimes foundations of houses or walls to be laid in the bottome of the Sea, bringing soile and rubbish to fill up the place and to make it firme ground: ambitious to bring to passe seeming impossibilities, and cruelly hasty in the accomplishing of what hee undertooke, punishing the slacking of the work with certaine death.
Sect. IIII. His strange Bridge and Ships.
In the list of these his vanities, and ungodly wayes of spending, let his bridge betweene Puteoli and Bauli, come in the first place, or else you doe it some injury. These two places were about three miles and a halfe distant, an arme of the Sea of that breadth, severing them, and lying between. The ambition of the vaine Emperour was to ride on horseback and in his chariot betweene these two places: What his fancy or Phrenzy rather, was, that stirred up such a humour in him, is diversly related, and it is no great matter to inquire after it. Some say it was, that he might terrifie Germany and Britaine against whom hee intended hostilitie, with the very rumour of so great a worke: others, that hee might imitate, or rather excell Xerxes, who made a bridge of ships over the Hellespont. But the rumour of it at Court, where his mind was likeliest to bee best knowne, was, that hee did it in confutation of a prediction of Thrasyllus, who had told Tiberius that Caius should no more rule then ride over the bay of Baiae on horseback. Dion guesseth this to have been his reason, that whereas the Senate upon their feare and fawning mentioned before had decreed an Ovation for him, or a kind of triumphant riding on horseback, hee thought it too poore a thing to ride so by land, and therefore invented this tricke of his owne vaine head, to ride so by Sea. For this purpose, all the ships that could bee got were sent for in, and when they were not enow, others were made and so they all were set two and two linked together till they made a bridge of that three miles and a halfe long: Then caused hee an infinite number of workmen to carry on earth, and make a causey like the Appian roade over all those ships from the continent to the Iland. (If this were not a Pontifex Romanus with a witnesse, let all men judge.) When his deere bought way was thus prepared, hee prepares for it and for his Phantastick journey over it: His garbe in which hee would ride was this: Hee put a brestplate on, which he said had beene Alexanders, and over that a rich purple robe, then his sword and buckler, and an oken garland about his head: and having sacrificed to Neptune and to the other Gods, and even to the Deity Envy, lest the bridge should miscarry, hee sets forth on horsebacke with a great troope of armen men attending him, and takes his strange and idle voyage. When hee had riden thus one day on horsebacke, hee returnes the next day in his Chariot, with an infinite traine of his friends in Coaches, of souldiers in armes, and of the common people lookers on, and among others of state Darius an hostage of Parthia attended his Chariot; when hee had done this great exploit, of walking, riding and coaching so many miles upon the Sea, hee getteth up into a Desk which was made upon this new-found bridge on purpose, and there maketh a solemne speech in commendation of this his great attempt, and of the souldiers and workmens paines and care about it; And when hee had done hee bestowed a large munificence among them. And the rest of that day and the night that followed, he spent in feasting and banqueting in banqueting houses that hee had made purposely upon his bridge, because hee would make the Sea a perfect roade. Into these houses hee had brought fresh water in Pipes from the shore to serve the occasions of this nights feast, if hee will suffer one to call it night. For hee that had turned the Sea into a Coach-way, way, was ambitious also to turne night into day; that in him might bee shewed at once both how foolish hee may prove that hath once let goe the reines of reason, and how boundlesse that folly is when it is backed with power. The ships that made the bridge were set in manner of a crescent, and so went the rode: upon it hee caused a great number of fires to bee made, and so upon the mountaines all about, that what had beene his Coach-way by day was now at night become his Amphitheater. But is is strange that wee heare of no murder of all this while among all this madnesse, for if Caius bee not cruell hee is not Caligula. After this his intertainment of his friends and of the company, hee suddainly cast a great multitude of them into the Sea, and when they laid hold of rudders or any thing that might succour and save their lives, hee caused them to bee thrust away and so they perished.
Answerable to the vanities of this his bridge, had hee also Ships and Frigots to saile in for his owne recreation, in which were baths, vineyards and orchards that sailed with him, that as upon his bridge hee went over the Sea by land, so in his ships when hee went by Sea, the land went with him.
Sect. V. His Covetousnesse.
It is not so much wonder that these courses wasted the Emperours treasures, as it is how they have held out so long: And now that all his wealth is emptied and gone, he can find as strange and unheard of meanes to fetch in more as hee had found out to consume the old. He now began to accuse, condemne and execute apace, that hee might bee dealing with their goods in confiscation. So died Calvisius Sabinus, Titius Rufus, and Iunius Priscus, for no other reall fault but onelyonly for being rich. But why should I reckon them by one and one, when at one clap hee condemned forty men together, and when hee came into his Chamber hee bragged to Caesonia his darling Lemman, Behold how much I have done in the time that thou art taking a nap at noone but this feate of condemning would not bring in money fast enough, therefore as there were more wayes of spending then one, so must there also bee of getting. Hee inventeth new taxes and payments, strange exactions and imposts, suffering nothing to passe in common use, but it must bring some tribute unto his treasures. Hee set a rate to bee paid him out of all meat that was eaten, a rate out of every sute or action for debt, a rate out of the porters gaines, nay a rate out of the whores hire. Hee made men that were already free of the Citie to buy their freedome againe, and many that had named him for their heire when they should die, hee poisoned, that hee might inherit their estate sooner: And these his exploits hee used not onelyonly in Rome, but when money was scarce there, hee went into France and Spaine and set up the same trade of polling there: Hee sold the Jewels, the goods, and the very servants of his condemned sisters; nay the very Jewels of the Crowne, as the royall robes and ornaments of Antony, Augustus, Iulia, Antonia, and others of the princely blood. And to conclude all in one, he set up a stewes in his owne Palace, and had women there of all sorts and sizes, and his panders went about to fetch in whoremaster customers: and all this was done, because it was for the Emperours profit. He also made the Palace a common dicing house, and himselfe was the master gaimster; cogging, cheating, lying, forswearing, and doing any thing to make himselfe a gainer. Having once left another to play his game, and being gone downe into the court of the palace, hee saw two rich knights passing by, and caused them suddainly to bee apprehended, and their goods to bee confiscated, and returned to his game againe, bragging that hee had had an exceeding good throw. Another time at play, wanting money to maintaine his stake, hee went downe and caused divers rich Nobles to bee slaine, and returned presently againe, saying, You sit here playing for a few pence, and I since I went, have gotten six hundred thousand sesterces.
As hee thus cruelly murdered many, onelyonly for their goods so also did hee many others upon other spleene…: as Len…lus Getulieus, because hee was beloved of the Souldiers: Lepidus, because hee had adulterated his sisters▪ when hee had done with them himselfe, and hee caused Agrippina one of them to carry his bones in an urne in her bosome to Rome. A poore serving-man for filching a silver plate off the cubbord, hee caused to have his hands cut off, and hung about his necke, and to bee led up and downe with a Crier before him proclaiming his offence. Seneca was condemned by him for being too eloquent, or more eloquent then himself, (for that hee could not indure in any) but hee escaped through the intreaty of one of Caius his Lemmans. But Domitius Aser deserved to scape indeed who overcame him with silence, and mastered the tyrant by being mastered. For being a man of renowned and incomparable eloquence, and now under accusation, Caius had strained the utmost of his owne Rhetorick to frame a speech to confound him, both in his cause and in his Oratory. Domitius (when the Emperour looked that hee would have answered him with the same height of Rhetorick again, and had hee done so, it had cost him his life) sate mute, and took upon him to be amazed at so admirable and infinite fluency, and in stead of pleading his owne cause, he rehearsed his Oration word by word, seeming to bee so ravished with that eloquence that hee forgot and neglected his owne life. And then cast hee himselfe at the tyrants feet, and begged for mercy, avowing that hee dreaded him more as an Orator then as Caesar. The Lion growes mild upon this fawning, and turnes his malice and spleene into pride and vaineglory, rejoycing that hee had so overcome Domitius in eloquence, whereas Domitius had more cause to rejoyce that hee had so overcome him by silence.