The Life and Death of Vavasor Powell, Expressions
Some few of his Death-bed expreſſions, collected by ſome friends that were about him.
IF the Devil ſhould tell me I am proud, or unfruitful, or unthankful, I have cauſe to believe him, for I can charge my ſelf with a great deal, but if he ſhould tell me I have no grace, and am not Chriſts, I ſhould not believe him.
He did bleſs God that he had not withdrawn the light of his Countenance, nor left him to be buffeted by Satan, nor to the Love of any thing in the world, to make him deſire to live here any longer.
Speaking of the Martyrdome of the Saints, ſaid, I had rather have dyed for Chriſt then for ſin.
He ſaid three things I did deſign in the whole courſe of my life, viz. To be clear in the Righteouſneſs of Chriſt, for juſtification, that I might exalt the grace of God to poor ſinners, and admire it to my own ſoul.
Secondly, To be ſincerely to God what I did ſeem to be to man, that I might be upright in what I did, and really that which I did profeſs.
Thirdly, That I might walk anſwerably to the Love and Grace of God, which he hath beſtowed upon me, and added. The two firſt I have much endeavoured, but the laſt I have been very ſhort in.
My principle was to promote holineſs, love, and union among the Saints, and have ſometimes denyed my ſelf in my own judgement, that ſo I might have an opportunity to promote other truths among different Brethren.
Theſe 30 years ſince God wrought upon me, I do not remember that ever I had one hard thought of God, nor repent me that I did make a Profeſſion nor progreſs in the ways of God, notwithſtanding all my reproaches and ſufferings. But have had much cauſe to wonder at Jeſus Chriſt, that hath called me an undone ſinner, me an undone ſinner, and counted me, me a vile wretch, worthy to ſuffer any thing for his names ſake; and this he did ſpeak with ſo much brokenneſs, and ſpend his ſtrength ſo much that thoſe Chriſtian friends that were near unto him, did entreat him to compoſe himſelf if it might pleaſe God to give him a little reſt, and at another time to this purpoſe.
I have been much conſidering, ſince I was upon my ſick bed, how the Lord Jeſus, whilſt upon the Earth, carried it to poor ſinners, and am much ſatisfied that it is a great fault among Churches and Chriſtians that they have no more pitty and bowels to poor ſinners, and uſe no more means to gain them unto Jeſus Chriſt; further adding, that Jeſus Chriſt had ſuch compaſſion to ſinners when he was upon the Earth, that therefore he was called a friend of Publicans and Sinners.
After ſome time of ſilence, he breaks out in theſe words: Oh now I find more in that word then ever I did, they overcame by the blood of the Lamb. Though God hath given me a very tender, good, and affectionate Wife, yet I do not grudge to part with her to go to Jeſus Chriſt.
When a Chriſtian friend ſpeaking to him, ſaid, that now he had a great deal to take comfort in, both in what he had ſuffered for Chriſt, ſo and in that he had been an inſtrument to convert ſo many ſouls to Chriſt. He anſwered, that his Religion now was in the Righteouſneſs of Chriſt, Sincerity, and Uprightneſs.
He did bleſs God that it was not now with him as it was in South-Sea-Caſtle, becauſe there he had no friends about him to do any ſervice of love for him as now he had.
When there was ſome hopes of recovery, his wife asking him whether he would be willing to ſtay with us if God ſhould reſtore him, anſwered, I am willing to do what God will have me, but yet unwilling to come back again into the ſtorm.
When his friends endeavoured to keep him from ſpeaking, he ſaid, you reſtrain me, and will not let me ſpeak for Jeſus Chriſt, and then would weep and grieve that he was not permitted to ſpeak as much as he would.
When he ſpoke of ſufferings to come, he gave two words of advice, to the Saints, and thoſe that were round about him; as,
1. To keep all things clear betwixt Chriſt and the Soul, and Chriſt and Conſcience, that there might be no ſin to offend Chriſt, neither in the guilt, nor filth of it, nor no grace counterfeited nor corrupted to provoked Chriſt, nothing eſpouſed to ſteal away the affections from Chriſt, but that the ſoul ſtand clear in its faith and love, and every grace, and ſtand looſe from duties, ordinances, neareſt and deareſt relations, that ſo there might be no cauſe of difference betwixt Chriſt and the ſoul.
That Chriſtians ſhould be faithful to the death; for he that indureth to the end, the ſame ſhall be ſaved.
Another time ſpeaking to the Dr. returning him thanks for his Cure, told him, Contra vim mortis, non eſt medicamen in hortis.
Another time, after he had been compoſing himſelf to reſt, and had ſlept awhile, he awoke, and ſaid, He had been with Paul, Harriſon, Craddocke, and others of the Saints deceaſed. At another time, that he was brought into a fine pleaſant Garden, where he ſaw a fine Manſion houſe on one ſide of it, into which he was to go; but he was had on the other ſide of the Garden, where there was a thing like a Coffin made up with deal Boards, from whence he was afterwards brought to the Manſion houſe; was ſatisfied in his dream, that that was his paſſage through the grave to glory, and did then again ſay, that all would be in vain that was done to him; however did aſſure thoſe that were concerned about him, that their Labours ſhould not be in vain, but God would remember it as a kindneſs done to himſelf.
Another time he expreſſes himſelf after this manner. Sad times will come, and many of them that ſtand now will fall, ſome ſhall be put into Priſon, ſome impover…ſhed, ſome baniſhed, and ſome put to death, and the Saints ſcattered, ſo that their differences ſhall be done away; when they are in their greateſt diſtreſſes, then the Lord will appear for them, and will ſave them with a mighty hand.
In his ſickneſs, he beged of God that he would pleaſe to continue his underſtanding, in which God did graciouſly anſwer him, even to the laſt, to the admiration of the Dr.
Did very often and very earneſtly preſs the Saints to be of one heart, and to lay aſide all their differences.
About praying for Magiſtrates, ſaid, I have been blamed and judged by ſome Chriſtian friends that differ from me, for that liberty I took, as if I had backſliden from my former Principles, which the Lord knows I did not out of fear, but according to my Principles and Conſcience, yet do now ſee that in ſome things therein I was right, and in ſome things wrong; To pray for them as ſinners, that God would ſhew them their ſins, therein I was right, but ſince ſuch a time (naming the time) God hath ſhewed me, that prayer ſhould not be put up for them as Magiſtrates, and named two Scriptures.