The Life and Death of Vavasor Powell, Excerpts

The Life and Death of Vavasor Powell · Excerpts

p. 33Some gratious Experimental and very choyce Sayings, and Sentences, collected out of his Papers.

SAints ſhould fear every Sin, but no Sufferings, Pſal. 4.4. Rev. 2.10.

There is a Guilt that Saints may communicate to others, and contract from others, both to be removed by new Acts of Faith and Repentance.

It is a great eaſe to and unburthening of the Soul to confeſs Sin ſenſibly, humbly, brokenly, and with hatred to it.

It is the property of a true Chriſtian to juſtifie God, and to judge himſelf under the greateſt afflictions.

It is and ſhould be the care of a Chriſtian, not to ſuffer for Sin, nor Sin in …fferings.

Account the leaſt Spiritual things, better then the greateſt, and beſt outward, and Temporal things.

There is no real Bondage but what is either from, …r for Sin.

Chriſtians will ſooner overcome their outward Enemies by praying for them, then by praying againſt them.

Bad times well improved, are far better then …ood times, not redeemed, or miſpent.

Shut thy Eyes from beholding, thy Ears from earing, and thy Heart from entertaining ſin.

p. 34All Chriſtians muſt be brought into the Fire before they will be brought to cloſe, for it is impoſſible to joyn cold Pieces, or one cold, and another hor.

He that is willing to part with his deareſt Luſt, will be willing to part with his deareſt Life alſo.

A Chriſtian will have but little comfort to ſuffer for that which is but a Notion in his Head, and not a ſetlend truth in his Heart, yet:

Note that the leſſer the Truths are, which Chriſtians do ſuffer for (if rightly) the more there, Love doth appear to Chriſt therein.

Gods Minnums or leaſt things, are better then the worlds Mountains, or greateſt things.

The Saints are to bear a threefold Teſtimony, to and for Chriſt, and his Truths, Breath teſtimony, Life teſtimony, and Blood teſtimony.

Speaking Words, maintaining Opinions, and the outward performing of Duties, and partaking of ordinances are but the leaſt things in Religion.

I never truſted Chriſt but I found him faithful, nor my own Heart but I found it falſe.

Let Gods hiding thy infirmities and ſecret ſins from thy Enemies, make thee the freer and willinger to confeſs them unto him.

Learn to know ſin to diſallow of it, diſpiſe it, overcome it inwardly, and to put it from thee to fear its return, and to be more eſtranged towards it, more watchful to avoid Temptations, and wiſe to ſhun occaſions, that lead to it.

The ſtrength of all Corruption ſometimes appears in one, and do but overcome your maſter ſin, and you overcome all.

The power and ſtrength of Corrupion is but ſeldom known, to wit when Temptations, Oppertunities, and occaſions of tryal come.

That Soul doth grow empty, that is alwayes letting p. 34out, but not careful to lay in.

Let Profeſſors take heed leaſt they be alwayes wooing Chriſt, and yet never married to him, of being Concubines and not Queens, Cant. 6.8.

Lay in, lay up, lay out for Chriſt.

Remember that you ſhall ſhortly reach Immortality, but never Eternity.

Make Chriſt your all, and you will be ſure to lay down your ſelf, all

Conſider that when you are not aſſaulted with Temptaions, Satan is damming, and pounding, and and he will ſuddenly draw up his Sluce and let looſe upon you.

Satan doth not (like God) warn before he ſtrike. Chriſt work is Wages, & his Service perfect freedom.

The Love of the Maſter, the ſweetneſs of the Service, and the greatneſs of the reward are ſufficient incouragements to ſerve Chriſt.

A Chriſtians ſecurity and ſafety is in doing his duty, and he ſhould ſtudy his duty more then his ſafety.

He that loves not Chriſt more then his Luſt or his Life, is like to loſe Chriſt, and his Life, but he that loves Chriſt more then his Life, ſhall be ſure to ſave, and keep both.

Strive greatly to have, and to exerciſe a good Conſcience towards God, and Men, and commit by Soul, Life and Cauſe to the Lord, and to ex…ct the worſt of Men, and the beſt of Chriſt.

Chriſt is …o the Soul as the Loadſtone to the …on drawing it to it ſelf, or the Criſtial to the other …tones, putting Beauty, and Luſtre on them.

A Chriſtian beholds Chriſt in the deepeſt Afflicti…n, as well as in the moſt ſpiritual Ordinance.

Corruptions are like Worms in the Maw, or Sto…ach which will eat through the Soul, unleſs ſcat…red, killed and purged out.

p. 36The only way ſome times for a Chriſtian to avoid the force of Temptation, is (Souldier Like) to fall down on his face when he ſees the Cannon, or Musket fired againſt him.

Make haſte to do thy work, Chriſtian, and God will make haſte to give thee thy Wages.

Thou muſt dye once whether thou ſuffer or no, and thou canſt dye but once if thou ſuffer.

The ſins of Saints are new ſufferings to Jeſus Chriſt, and the ſufferings of Saints are the Wounds of Chriſt.

Reading the Scriptures helps Meditation, Meditation Prayer, and Prayer every good work.

Men may come too late to God, (when the Door is ſhut) but God never comes too late to Men.

Let the Child be contented to take the Breaſt, the Mother will give it, and then it ſhall have both, ſo be contented with what Chriſt gives you, and you ſhall want nothing.

To ſee the want of Grace is much, the worth of Grace more.

Tis hard to get Grace, hard to get aſſurance of Grace, hard to uſe it, and not abuſe it.

Tis very hard to behold our own Gift without Pride, and the Gifts of others (if they excel ours) without Envy.

Do not commend thy Freind, nor diſcommend thy Foe too much, leaſt thou be judged to be partial.

He commands moſt and beſt, that commads in Love, Humility and Self-denyingly.

He hath not learned to rule, that hath not learning…ed to obey.

An even through Paced, Self-fearing, Heart melt-Chriſtian is always beſt.

The world is a great nothing deluding the bad, diſturbing, and diſtracting the good.

p. 37Satan works more upon men by ſleight then by might, avoid his cunning, and thou wilt avoid his cruelty.

Hypocrites Hearts are like ſtinking Ponds wherein Frogs live, and Fiſh dye, Luſts feed, and Grace (if it were there (ſtarves.

The Devil is like the Turkycock, (or Crocodile) if you turn upon him he will fly from you, but you fly from him, he will purſue you.

It is better ſometimes to ſleight the Devil then to fight him.

Thoughts of our own death will tend much to deaden ſin.

God hath ſet the Tongue between the Brains, and Heart, that it may advice with both, and within two Guards to keep it in, and yet it is unruly.

Prayer is a good preparative to ſuffering, when Chriſt had prayed he went out to meet Judas, Ioh. 18.4.

Ruffling opinion ſowing and Church railing Perſons and Profeſſors, have commonly more Self then Grace.

It is the duty of a Chriſtian to ſuppreſs and ſearch himſelf, when he doth not know Evil by himſelf.

Chriſt and Sin are moſt magnified in the Eyes of Believers in their afflictions, but in a different manner and to a different end, and then Chriſt is moſt deſired and Sin moſt diſpiſed.

A Chriſtian ſhould earneſtly deſire that his ſin might ſit in a white Cloud, and that he might go out of the World, as a Perfume, and not as a Snuff.

The holy Law of God teaches a Man to ſee his own Deformity, and requires from him a Conformity.

p. 38Sin is like a ſleepy Lion in the Soul which Temptation ſoon awakens.

Chriſt puts moſt of his Oyle in broken Veſſels, in broken Hearts, there is moſt Grace and beſt kept.

The leſs a man ſtrives for himſelf, the more will Chriſt ſtrive for him.

Oh my Soul look for death hourly, long for it greatly, prepare for it carefully, meet and welcome it joyfully, for it is Chriſts part to direct his Spouſe (the Soul to him) and thy Freind that comes to ſet thee at liberty from thy ſins, diſcharge thee from thy P…iſon, diſmiſs thee from thy Debts, and bring thee at once to enjoy all thy deſires.

Oh Lord as a ſign that I ſhall be able to dye for thee, let me find my Corruption dying in me by power from thee.

He that will not take Example ſhall make an Example.

Afflictions are Chriſts Love Tokens, Jer. 12.7. Heb. 12.6. Rev. 3.9. and Chriſtians are never more tendred, then when moſt afflicted, as Ephraim Jer. 31.20

A Chriſtians Soul ſhould be like the Dial going according to the Sun, or following Chriſt.

Small ſins yeilded too, make way for greater, and one ſin for another.

He that converts a Sinner covers a world (or multitude) of ſins, and gains more then a World, to wit a Soul.

Saints ſhould labour to Lord it over their Corruptions, as their Corruptions did formerly Lord it over them.

God hath given a Man a little Mouth, and a narrow Throat, that Man may not exced in eating.

To take pains about unneceſſary and unprofitable p. 39things, is laboriouſly to miſpend time.

Zeal without Knowledge to guide it, is like mettle in a blind Horſe which ſtumbles and overthrows the Rider.

Young Chriſtians commonly want a Curb, and old Chriſtians a Spur.

Be not ambitions of Love, and thou ſhalt not be ſo ſoon an object of Envy.

It is good to curb natural and acquired Gifts, but to give the Reins to Grace, and let alwayes Grace lead rule and maſter Gifts.

A Heart unconverted is contended with nothing but what is helping it unto Hell, and it hath never enough of that very ſin, and the Heart converted is never ſatisfied but with what helps it towards Heaven, and yet thinks he hath never enough thereof, viz. Chriſt and Grace.

Welcome thou (thy Landlord) Chriſt into thy Cottage now, and he will welcome thee into thy Palace hereafter.

Get Chriſt (and Chriſtian) to bind thy Conſcience to the peace, and thy Affections and Fleſh to the good behaviour.

Spend all thy Grace againſt thy Luſt, but none for it.

Thy hardeſt duty in Chriſtianity is to deny ſelf, and to deſtroy ſin.

As the Martyr profeſſed he had rather be a Martyr then a Monarch, ſo ſhould every Chriſtian.

It is a ſpecial favour, and great promotion to ſuffer.

Satan accuſeth God to Men, and Men to God, but Chriſt excuſes and anſwers all his accuſations againſt his People.

Chriſtians ſhould do as the Shechemites did, when their City (their own Souls in ſtrength) was beaten down fly to their Tower even Chriſt.

p. 40The true knowledge of Chriſt brings conſolation, and the right profeſſion, and practice of him perſecution.

When a man is impriſoned, and ſhut up from Men, he is the more ſhut up with God.

Account it not reſtraint as long as thy Heart can go out towards God, and his People, and Wayes in affection and prayer.

Retiredneſs and cloſe impriſonment drives a man to hold cloſer Communion with God, and to a ſtricter ſearch of himſelf.

Take heed that preparatory meditation (to Prayer) doth not prevent Prayer it ſelf, or put you beſides Prayer.

One of the radical ſins ſpoken of, (1 Iohn 2.16. Is every mans maſter ſin.

I often found my heart in dayes of Humiliation, more affected and melted by the Prayer of weaker then ſtronger Chriſtians.

I would be glad to be out of the World when I have no ſervice to do for God in it.

He that would live for himſelf (onelyonly or cheifly) in the World is not worthy to live a day in it.

If I may have liberty to ſerve Chriſt, I would have the glory to ſuffer for Chriſt.

Secret Prayer is either a familiar ſpeaking to God, or with God, or a pouring out of the Heart before God, through his Son our Saviour by his ſpirit.

Sometimes Ejaculations, or ſhort and ſudden Pantings, and breathings out of deſires to God, may be more acceptable to him and prevailing with him, then long Prayers.

There may be great difference between the temper of a Chriſtian one time and another, yea in the exerciſing of his Gifts in Praying, Preaching, &c.

True Godlineſs and Hipocriſie are beſt diſcerned p. 41in turnings, and changes either when they change their conditions, by Marriages, or are exalted to Offices, or when new opinions begin to grow.

Due ſin may cauſe thee more ſorrow, then all thy ſufferings.

It is happy to dye in the Lord, and honourable to dye for the Lord.

Sins do dye and fall off from Chriſtians as the Leaves fall from Trees in Autumn by degrees.

Chriſtians are now as Abraham was driven out of Egypt, and come where they were before or into their firſt State, therefore they ſhould offer to the Lord, as he did, Gen. 13.3.4.

God is now ſpoiling us, of what would otherwiſe have ſpoiled us.

Churches gathered in proſperity, will hardly ſtand or continue together in adverſity.

A Child of God may know the weight of ſin by Chriſts ſufferings, for if that ſtrong Heart of Steel, did bend under the weight of our ſins, what ſhall poor weak men do which is but a Reed or Ruſh.

As our good works and performances ſhould have an operation upon our Souls and Hearts, to ſtrengthen Faith, ſo ſhould our weakneſſes and ſins to work repentance.

It is a great condeſcention in God to afflict or lay his hand upon man, and in that ſence the Apoſtle exhorts Beleivers not to diſpiſe or think little of the chaſtning of the Lord. Heb. 12.3.

A Beleiver is to ſhut the Eye of Reaſon, if he will clearly ſee with the Eye of Faith.

The promiſe is a Chriſtian perſpective, and his Faith the Eye with which he looks through it upon Chriſt and God the Father in him.

A Priſon or perſecution is to a Chriſtian as ſome ſcaring thing, that one ſees in the Night at a diſtance, p. 42but when he comes near it, and to know it, he is not at all afraid of it.

Seek to find out your own Errors, before another find them out, and to write your own Errata's.

VVhen the Lord is trying his People, they ſhould be trying themſelves.

Chriſtians ſhould not deſire deliverance before the time appointed, for that is as if a VVoman ſhould deſire to have her Child born before the full and due time.

Chriſtians are apt to feel, and fear puniſhment more then ſin, which is the cauſe of it.

Gods People muſt expect in the VVorld, the entertainment of Strangers.

Sins in Saints are like Weeds weeded out of a Garden, or Field which lye in the Alleys, or Veins, but never grow there again.

A Hypocrite is like a white Stone in the Water amongſt other Stones, and of that ſame nature with other Stones there, hard, heavy, cold, and inflexable and differs only in colour.

A true Chriſtian is like a Flint-ſtone which though it falls into Water, yet it keeps, and retains Fire in it ſtill: ſo doth he retain his Grace, notwithſtanding his corruption.

Labour to act thoſe graces cheifly that are moſt contrary to your maſter ſins and cheif corruptions.

The Lord hath Saints enough to devide into three bodies, ſome to ſuffer for him, ſome to deſtroy Babilon, and ſome to be for Seed-Corn, to ſow again in the Earth.

Learn by lighter Croſſes to look and prepare for heavier.

In two Caſes tis hard to Act Faith. 1. When there is nothing ſenſible or viſible to ſecond, and p. 43ſupport it, or 2. when there is very much to fil the outward ſenſes.

It is a very common and ordinary thing for moſt or all Profeſſors, to be in one or two extreams, either to over value, or under value Inſtruments, Creatures and Ordinances.

The more Saints do beleive and ſuffer, the more they may expect of the ſpirit. Iohn 7.8. 1 Pet. 4.14.

Be more thoughtful and careful how to uſe what you have, to Gods glory, then to gain more.

The Lord freely gives, and justly takes away.

The exerciſing of Graces do naturally deſtroy ſin, and the more you abound in Acts of Grace the more you increaſe the habit Heb. 6.26.

The Law cauſeth ſickneſs of Soul, but the Goſpel healeth the ſame.

When Saints perceive their ſins growing weak they ſhould then proſecute them moſt.

A Saint is to put forth his Faith in Prayer, and afterwards follow his Prayer with Faith.

In the mideſt of earthly buſineſs, the Soul ſhould redeem ſome ſpecial time for ſecret, and private duties.

It is the will of Chriſt that Saints ſhould rejoyce more in what Chriſt hath done for them, then in what they have done, or can do for him.

Learn to obſerve what God gives without asking, and what he gives in anſwer to Prayer for the one begets Thankfulneſs, the other more Prayer.

Chriſt kept the Law legally, Beleivers kept it Evangelically, he perfectly, they purpoſingly and endeavouringly.

A Beleivers aſſurance and cheifeſt joy, doth not ariſe from his ſanctification (becauſe that is imperfect here in degrees) but from his juſtification Rom. 5.2. 1 Pet. 1.8.

p. 44Look upon Chriſt firſt without you, then ſearch for him within you.

God makes us feel him (or his hand) that he may hear us, ſtrokes makes Crys, and Whipings, mornful complaints to him.

God troubles us, that we may turn to him, and leaves us a while for to ſee whether we will follow after him.

Its ſtrange and very bad ſign to ſee Saints look more upon the ſins of the wicked to ripen them for miſery, then after ſelf humiliation and holineſs to ripen, and fit themſelves for mercy.

He that cannot pitty the ſinner, and hate ſin, doth not reprove, out of love to Chriſt nor from a gratious ſpirit.

He that loves not a Reprover, and prizes not his reproof neither profits thereby, is more his ſins, then his Souls friend.

If God hath kept thee from falling ſtill, fear, watch, pray, and live by Faith on Chriſt.

No power can keep him in Bonds, whom truth and innocency acquits.

Due end in being in the world, is not to be to our ſelves.

Though the People of God may be killed, yet they can neither be hurt nor overcome.

Chriſtians though diſagreeing in Opinion ſhould agree in Affection, and differing in Controverſie, ſhould agree in Charity.

It is a very ſad thing neither to be careful to do well, nor repent of doing ill.

The Portion that Chriſt gives us is not near ſo bitter, as his Cordial is ſweet.

The fear of death is ingrafted in the common nature of all men, but Faith works it out by Chriſtians.

Nothing will be terrible where the love of God p. 55is apprehended, and nothing greivous where love to Chriſt is exerciſed.

Learn to prefer Chriſt before ſelf, and ſuffering above ſinning.

Look for ſuffering as for Exaltation, for it is an honour to be accounted worthy, and a double honour to be enabled and carried through ſafety.

A Beleiver ſhould learn.

1. To know God in Chriſt.

2. Himſelf in Chriſt.

3. Chriſt in him.

4. Himſelf he was without Chriſt. 1. wicked and wretched, 2. unwilling and weak in good.

The Life of a true Beleiver, is.

1. In the Lord. 1. Theſ. 1.2. 1. Iohn 2.27.

2. On the Lord. Rom. 1.17. Gal. 2.20.

3. By and from the Lord. Iohn 6.57.

4. To the Lord. Rom. 14.8. Luke 20.38. Gal. 2.19.

5. With the Lord. 2. Cor. 13.4. 1. Theſ. 5.10. Rom. 6.8.

The Care of a true Chriſtian.

1. To wait on God. Iſa 8.17. & 25.9.

2. To walk with God. Gen. 5.22.24. & 6.9.24.40.

3. To work all his works in and for God. Io. 3.21. Rom. 6.10. 1. Cor. 10.31.

4. To bring his will to ſubmit to the will of God in everything. Mark 26.42. Heb. 10.7.

A Chriſtian ſhould take heed leaſt he be giving p. 46way to his Heart to ſteal out now and then to ſin, and get ſome ſweet Bits thereof between duties.

There will be a reviveing of old ſins, if there be not effectual repentance for them, and a care by Faith through all Duties and Ordinances to get new ſtrength againſt them, and conſtant watch kept over them.

When God makes the World to hot for his People to hold, they will let it go.

A Chriſtian comes not to know the weakneſs of his Grace till the Spirit ceaſes to work in and by it, nor the power of his Corruption till Satan works therein by his temptation.

A Chriſtians Fleſh ſhould keep from the Shew, and his Conſcience from the guilt of ſin.

Where ſin is not killed it will kill.

Sin hath no Mother but a mans Heart, nor Father but Satan.

Sin draws the Soul into it, either by power, or policy, by force, or by fraud.

Chriſtians ſhould not give offence careleſly, nor take offence cauſeleſly.

Fear thy Freinds more then thy Foes, thy ſins more then thy ſufferings, and liberty more then bondage.

Some Chriſtians have four Thorns that greive them, a Thorn of affliction from God, a Thorn of perſecution from men, and … Thorn of Temptation from Satan, and of corruption in themſelves.

Self loathing deſtroys ſelf Love much, and the more we loath our ſelves the better we love others.

When a Chriſtian comes to be as weary of his ſins as of his ſufferings God will certainly put them to an end.

One of the cheifeſt works of the Soul, is ſelf exmination, and yet a Chriſtian will find himſelf p. 47moſt backward thereto, and ſooneſt weary therein.

The more a Soul is exerciſed in ſpiritual meditation, the leſs with carnal Temptation.

The more frequent and powerful in private Prayer, the more free from, and the more potent againſt corruptions.

Seaſonable and unexpected mercies are very ſweet and acceptable.

It is a common principle in nature that no man can or ſhould judge his Enemy, or be judged in his own Cauſe.

Slothfulneſs is the Cradle of ſin which the Devil Rocks.

Chriſt will be ſoon ſencible of thoſe Saints ſufferings that are ſencible of their own ſins.

There is no power in the Creatures to do either good or hurt, but as God diſpoſeth them, for it is God that puts their Sword into their hand. Ezek, 30.24.

Take heed of reproving or upbraiding another in ſelf paſſion, or to provoke his Paſſion.

The Lord now ſhakes his viſible Church as a Tree is ſhaken, that the rotten Fruit may fall off.

Careleſs hearing makes carnal Hearts, and carnal Hearts makes curſed lives.

He that will be much in ſelf denial, muſt be much in ſelf tryal.

If we could be contented to be altogether without Chriſt, or with part of Chriſt we need not ſuffer perſecution.

When and where wickedneſs is moſt, then, and there, the godly ſhould ſtrive to be moſt godly.

If Gods People could be diligent at their own work, and leave God at his work they need not fear ſucceſs.

p. 48As the Stars the higher they are, the ſwifter their motion, ſo Chriſtians the more ſpiritual the more active in the ſervice of God.

Nothing comes amiſs to a godly man but ſin.

What a Preacer does, as well as what he ſpeaks, is doctrine to the People.

The cheif end of all Scriptures is to know God, and to worſhip him rightly being known.

Chriſtians, ſhould take heed leaſt God ſhould ſue them upon an Action of Waſte, for waſting time, and miſpending mercies, &c.

Sence of miſery muſt pr…ceed ſence of mercy.

At the day of death (but eſpecially at the day of Judgement) a Saint will wiſh he had ſinned leſs, ſerved God better, and ſuffered for him more.

He is a ſtrong Chriſtian that ſeeks Gods glory more then his own ſalvation, but no Chriſtian that ſeeks neither.

Sin undiſcovered, or unconſidered becomes ſin unrepented.

There are many that ſerve themſelves of Chriſt, but few that ſerves Chriſt for his own ſake.

Gods People have the love of God ſhewed to, and ſet before them, ſhed in them, and ſealed to them.

Let not a Chriſtian leave off his running till he comes to the end of his Race, but like the Moon, though ſhe be eclipſed yet forſakes not her Orb not diſcontinues her courſe at all.

Be ſure to praiſe God when thou receiveſt power againſt Sin and Temptation, and you ſhall be ſure to find God ready to give you power another time when you want it.

Be ſtill imployed in doing good, and you ſhall not be much tempted, or troubled with Evil.

Some Chriſtians have more trouble from, and p. 49for Temptation and ſin in one day then they have for ſuffering many months.

Poverty is the gift God, as well as Riches.

When Saints perceive their ſins growing weak they ſhould proſecute them moſt.

A wicked man may give good Counſel from God to a good man, and he not taking it may be deſtroyed; Pharoh, Necho, to Ioſiah.

It may be ſaid of many a man that he is honourable, and yet a Leaper, 2. Kings 5.1.

There is no evil in ſin, but there is ſome what in the name of Chriſt that ſpeaks the contrary as ſin is darkneſs ſo Chriſt is light, &c.

A Beleiver is to ſhut the Eye of Reaſon if he will clearly ſee with the Eye of Faith.

The great Principles and Miſteries of Divinity, … are to abide in God, to live on God, to walk with God, and to live to God.

There are three ſorts of Goſpel Sacrifices. (1.) Thanksgiving. Pſal. 51.17.19. Amos 4.5. Heb. 13.15. Hoſ. 4.2. (2.) Liberality to the Poor. Mich. 6.8. 1 Cor. 16.1.2. & 2. Cor. 18.19. Heb. 13.16. (3.) Our ſelves Rom. 12.1.

Sanctifying Thoughts.

1. The Thoughts of God, free and conſtant love to me.

2. The thoughts of what Chriſt hath done for me.

3. The thoughts of what I have been, and done againſt God.

4. The thoughts of what God and Chriſt are to me, and I to them.

p. 505. The thoughts of Chriſts Excellency and ſome Saints Eminency.

6. The thoughts of Death and Judgement.

7. The thoughts of what I ſhall be, and ſhall have hereafter.

A Chriſtian ſhould be much taken and rejoyce at.

1. The leaſt Revelation of Truth.

2. The leaſt Communion with God.

3. The leaſt additional meaſure of holineſs.

4. The leaſt ſucceſs God gives him in his work.

Tis obſerved that the firſt word ſpoken by Chriſt in his miniſterial office is an aſſertion to, or of the authority of Scripture. Mat. 4.4

God is not only the holy one of Iſrael, but the holy one in Iſrael. Ezek. 39.7.

By Prayer God doth converſe with me, by Preaching he doth teach me, by Meditation he doth fill me, by Saints ſociety he doth warn me, by ſinging Hymnes he doth raviſh me, by his Supper he doth feed me.

By his Love he doth endear me to him, by his Son embolden me. By his Spirit unite me to him; By his promiſes ſtay me with him.

Publick Diſputations are ſeldome rightly managed, being too often attended either with firceneſs and frowardneſs too much inſulting over an Adverſary if any advantage be gained, or be left to one… ſelf in ſome thing or other to be worſted and ſhamed; Or if ſome good hath been not to be ſo ready to give God the glory as in other things.

A ſuffering Chriſtian ſhould ſee that Innocency be the beginning, and Patience the end thereof.

Six neceſſary Queſtions that every Chriſtian ſhoul… p. 51ask his own Heart. 1. Whether I am a Saint or a Hyppocrite, a wiſe or fooliſh Virgin? 2. What are the trueſt and ſtrongeſt grounds I have of my Saintſhip. 3. Whether if I be a true Chriſtian, is my Spirit Legal or Evangelical. 4. With which of the Saints mentioned in Scripture, can I moſt compare my ſelf. 5. What are the Reaſons (in reſpect of my ſelf) why I continue without full aſſurance. 6. What is my maſter ſin, and what power hath it in my Soul? or I over it.

God carries on the work of Grace in Believers. 1. According to their natural parts and natural conſtitutions. 2. According to the means they are under, whether Legal or Evangelical Preaching. 3. According to the things he hath to do by them, or calls them to ſuffer. 4. According to the ſhortneſs or length of time they have to live. 5. According as they have been before the Converſion; greater or leſſer Sinners.

Recreations (the Object and Subject being right) muſt be. 1. Not on Lords-days, Faſt-days, &c. 2. Not in the Night, for it is given for reſt. 3. When we ſtand in need of it. 4. Seldom. 5. Not over-long. 6. Not over coſtly. 7. Suitable to mens conditions. 8. To a good end.

In Duties we ſhould. 1. Look for to meet and enjoy God. 2. Expect to hear and receive from God. 3. Return ſomewhat to God.

As a Watch muſt be dayly wound up by him that carries it, otherwiſe it is uſeleſs: So the Soul muſt be ſpiritually wound up by Chriſt, elſe it will be unuſeful and unſerviceable.

Chriſt hath more to do to bring us to be reconciled to God, then to bring God to be reconciled to us. Reaſons, 1. Becauſe God is willing, Men unwil…ing. 2. Becauſe God is ſatisfied and contented p. 52with Chriſts merits, ſo are not Men.

Soul freedome. 1. To be freed from doubts of its eternal condition. 2. Of ſcrupulous opinions. 3. Of the power of Corruption. 4. Of ſtinging Conviction of the Law. 5. Of the fiery fierce temptations of Satan. 6. From the fear of death.

Saints do commonly ſleight and undervalue, what ever ſuits not with their own Judgements.

James 1.8. A double minded man that is, a man whoſe mind hangs between a double Object, Chriſt and the World.

A Saint that hath been ſick and near death and is recovered, and returns into the World again, is like a poor peeld Sheep, that is brought out of the high Hill and Storm, and almoſt to the Fold, and then chaſed again to the ſtorm.

Or a weary Traveller that is near his home, that muſt needs return a great part of his way to fetch, what he did neglect, Or a man that hath been long at Sea and is in ſight of ſhore, but forced to Sea again. Or an Apprentice that when he expects to be ſet at liberty, muſt ſerve another Apprentiſhip. Or Ioſephs Brethren, who returning home was forced back again into Egypt.

Things that ſeem ſmall to Chriſtians at a diſtance, when God brings them to the Soul, they ſeem great (as perſons or things at a diſtance) as ſin, duty, &c.

Two great Evils follow hardneſs of Heart. Rom. 2.5. Impenitency and Wrath.

When may ſin be ſaid to be a mans own? 1. When he commits them out of his own, as Satan doth. Iohn, 8.44. 1 Iohn. 38.9. 2. When he hates it not but loves it, yea more then any good. Pſal. 52.3. 3. When he nouriſheth it. Iam. 5.5.

p. 53They pick the ſweeteſt bits to nouriſh the hearts. 4. When a man provides for it. Rom. 13.14. 5. When men live in ſin. 1. Tit. 5.6. 6. When it is their Element, meat, Prov. 1.7. Sleep. v. 16. Apparel. Pſal. 73. Chain. Prov. 10.23.

Men carry their lives, as men carry pretious water in a brittle Glaſs. (2 Sam. 14.14.) or a Candle in a paper Lanthorn.

A Saints ſecond part of Sin is ſorrow.

A true Saint hath his high places to walk upon. Heb. 3. Laſt, As 1. God himſelf, his being, 2. Chriſt as Mediatour, his Light, Strength, &c. 3. The Spirit as his Air. 4. The word as his Staff. 5. Mount Zion as his delightful place. 6. Gods decrees, as his Record. 7. Experiences, as his helps. 8. Hopes of Salvation, as his encouragement.

The Evils I have feared and experienced in my ſelf, are 1. To be hardened by the deceitfulneſs and guilt of ſin. 2. To have my goodneſs inconſtant and uncontinuing, as the morning Cloud or Dew. 3. Becauſe I cannot attain to that I urge and preſs upon others. 4. To find ſuch little effect of the ſufferings of Chriſt, and of his Spirit in me, and of the Reſolutions I make, and Duties I perform.

Seek three things, 1. To ſecure thy Soul. 2. A ſound Heart. 3. A ſin-ſick Soul or a Soul ſick of ſin.

Take heed of preſumptuous ſin which is (in Heb. 10.) 1. A willing ſinning. 2. Knowingly. 3. Deſpiſing of the I…w. 4. Sleighting of Chriſt. 5. Doing deſpight to the Spirit. 6. Falling into the hands of the living God without Chriſt and Sanctification.

p. 54Some of the laſt Leſſons I am endeavoring to learn.

1. TO keep Faith and to keep down Fleſh. 2. To be bound as if I were free, and married as if I were unmarried. 3. To dye before I come to dye, viz. Expect and long for it. 4. To attend every Duty better, and to depend on them leſs. 5. To realize and experience Spiritual things more. 6. To make eternal things nearer by Faith. 7. To have all things I ſee hear and read, to leave a deeper impreſſion upon me, eſpecially the ſufferings of the godly, and the ſins of the wicked. 8. To get more Communion with God in my ſervices and ſufferings. 9. To have my Heart to mind more what God intends, and doth in the Nations then what men do. 10. To account of Gods leaſt things more, and of my own greateſt and beſt things leſs. 11. To make improvement of all former ſins and ſufferings. 12. To learn to feed upon Gods brown Bread, which is affliction, better then formerly upon his white Bread, his Goſpel Ordinances. 13. Not to think doing or ſuffering work hard. 14. To get my ſelf quite raiſed and recovered by vertue from Chriſt conveyed by the Spirit through the Covenant of Grace. 15. To ceaſe from all childiſh things. 16. To do the work and bear the Teſtimony of my day in the day. 17. to have a fixed or conſtant ſpirit (for the word in Heaven is the ſame. Pſal. 51.1 & 10. in the mar.) in God and in beleiving and doing good. 18. To ſee that condition I am in, to be beſt for me.

p. 55Some of my laſt Experiences.

1. To ſee one ſin after another more clearly. 2. To ſee that I am very weak, and ſho…t in that grace wherein I thought I moſt excelled. 3. That the ſin that had moſt ſtrength in me through the aſſiſting power of Chriſt, is grown and growing much more weaker. 4. That I am more and more encouraged and helped to beleive by the ſtrength of Chriſt, and that as ſin hath formerly weakned Faith, ſo now Faith weakens ſin. 5. The ſin and danger of neglecting ones body, in making it unſerviceable to the Lord. 6. That when a Chriſtian begins to grow carnal & can leſs the Lord leaves him to him ſelf for ſometime, and either to be aſſaulted & troubled with ſome Temptation, or to be overcome with ſome Corruption. 7. That before God raiſeth up a Chriſtian to a more ſpiritual eſtate, or cauſeth him to ſuffer, God Many times lets him know himſelf by leaving him to ſome corruption or temptation. 8. That when and from whom I feared temptations at that time and from ſuch the Lord did ma y lo…fly deliver me ev…n from the thoughts of Evil. 9. That very day, and a few hours before my g eat ſickneſs in Sept, 9. 1664. I was ſtrongly aſſaulted with Temptation, and God in very mercy and wonderful ſeaſonably did then lay ſickneſs upon me, 11. That a true Chriſtian that is troubled with his Corruption, doth rejoyce greatly when God doth by any means prevent and preſerve from them. 12. Exceeding ſuitably did God one day apply the three following Scriptures. p. 56Eſa. 54.14. Ezek. 34.21. 1. Pet. 3.14.16.19. 13. That to ſhun one kind of Evil I found my ſelf very ready to fall into another. 14. That affliction when it was new, freſh, and firſt laid upon me, it made and left more impreſſion then afterwards.

As a further diſcovery of Gods gracious actings in the Heart of this holy man, you have this following taſte of his Spirit in this Collection taken out of his Dyary or Iornal, (it being his cuſtome to keep a dayly Obſervation and Record of every every remarkable Providence occurring to him, and of the frame of his Heart, in his ſpiritual getings and loſings every day) which for the moſt part were written in Characters yet ſome being at large, you have a few of them hereafter inſerted, which by Gods bleſſing may rend to the Edification and comfort as well as Example of many.

His Book is entituled.

Some Memento's and Experiences of Gods gracious dealings with Vavaſor Powel.

Deut. 8.2. And thou ſhalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God leads thee, &c.

Pſal. 143.5. I remember the dayes of old &c.

Can. 1.4. We will remember thy love.

Pſal. 34.3. My Soul ſhall make her boaſt of the Lord, &c.

Collections out of his Dyary.

THis day I obſerved as many dayes before that I have commonly Conſolation and Affliction in the ſame day, If I have comfort from the Lord that day by Communion or communication or otherwiſe in the morning, I am ſure to have ſome trouble that p. 57Night, and if trouble in the Morning, I am ſure to have ſome refreſhing that Night, but there is ſcarce one day wherein I have not ſome breathings from God and to God, and as ſure buffetings from Satan.

This day was a very comfortable day to me in the morning, I was refreſhed by thoſe words 31. Pſ. 15. My times are in thy hands, &c. by comparing that with Ier. 20.12. I had much comfort in the ſociety of Gods People, and ſeveral times in Prayer that day, and power againſt evil thoughts, yet that Evening I was aſſaulted ſtrongly with ſinful thoughts, but in my flying to God in prayer againſt them they fled from me.

This day being the Lords day, I had ſome communion with the Lord in private Prayer, and a greater ſence of the ſufferings of his People upon my Heart, and it came into my Heart to aske earneſtly of God, that I might love him better then my Life, and better then my Luſts, remembring that Scripture in the 2 Tim. 3.2.5. That Self-love, and loving of pleaſure more then God will be the two cheif Characters of Hyppocrites and Appoſtates, in the latter dayes.

In the Evening I was again aſſaulted with Evil thoughts, which neceſſitated me to fly to the Lord in Prayer, and thence I learned this Leſſon, that ſometimes the very ſin of a Chriſtian drives him to his Duty and Service, ſometimes by way of prevention either to the Scriptures, for ſome word of promiſe or command againſt ſin, or to Prayer, and ſometimes after a Soul hath ſinned, it ſees a neceſſity ſpeedily and earneſtly to confeſs it, repent for it, reſolve and watch againſt it.

This day I injoyed much conſolation both from the Scripture ſpecially, Pſal. 37.24.35.39. Though p. 58he fall (meaning the good man) he ſhall not utterly be caſt down, nor condemn him when he is judged, but the ſalvation of the Righteous is from the Lord, he is their ſtrength in the time of trouble, and the Lord ſhall help them and deliver them, he ſhall deliver them from the wicked, and ſave them becauſe they truſt in him, alſo by conference that day with ſeveral perſons, yet in the Evening I had ſtrong aſſaults from Satan, from which the Lord did in part deliver me, but yet much trouble from my own Evil heart, the four following leſſons, I was deſirous to learn this Evening. 1. To get my Soul more ſetled in the aſſurance and apprehenſion of ſalvation. 2. More ſenſible of my own, and other mens ſins, and my own and other mens ſufferings. 3. More humbled for my unprofitableneſs in my impriſonment. 4. More willing to dye, and more mindful of death.

This day I received and unexpected mercy, and was prevented from a temptation, which made my heart rejoyce, and preventing grace eſpecially that which prevented from ſin, have been frequently cauſe of rejoycing to me.

This day I had little change in the frame of my Spirit either to good or Evil, but ſome ſence I had of my own weakneſs, yet I had ſome comfort from thoſe words Pſal. 40.17. but I am poor and needy, yet the Lord thinketh on me, and Pſal. 42.8. Yet the Lord will command his loving kindneſs, and his Song ſhall be with me and my Prayer unto the God of my life.

This day I had a good and comfortable day to my Soul eſpecially in Prayer, Four things I ſaw cauſe to be humbled for, Firſt, that I had not more ſence of the ſins, and ſufferings of Gods People or of my own. Secondly, That the Works, Glory, p. 59Wayes, Ordinances & People of the Lord are in ſuch Contempt. Thirdly, that there is no more Stability, Zeal and Courage in the Saints for good, and againſt Evil. Fourthly, That there continues ſtill ſuch darkneſs upon, and diviſions amongſt Chriſtians, I had it much in my Heart to deſire two things from the Lord (viz.) Firſt, Power againſt my ſin. Secondly, Preparation for ſufferings.

This day I was much troubled for hearing one ſweare ſeveral Oaths, and not reproving him for the ſame and convinced alſo from, Pſal. 50.7. Hear O Iſrael and I will testifie againſt thee I am God even thy God, that God had many things againſt me in particular, and I was convinced providencially of one cauſe of my ſufferings. Being a day to ſeek the Lord in private Prayer, I had my Heart ſomewhat ſoftned and yet I was troubled it continued ſo hard, and I learned from the, 2. Cro. 6.37. That I ſhould in this my ſuffering bethink my ſelf both what I was, and what I had done, that I ſhould pray more earneſtly, and turn more throughly and perfectly unto the Lord, and that Evening I could and did pray, moſt heartily for my Enemies, and Perſecutors

This day being the Lords day, I had ſeveral times refreſhings from the Lord in Prayer, and in ſpeaking his word, and that word in Iob. 10.14. Was ſet with weight upon my Heart, If I ſin thou markeſt me and wilt not acquit me from my iniquity, I learned thence what a dangerous thing it is to ſin under affliction, and the dangers did appear much by that place in Lev. 26.36. And upon them that are left alive of you, (meaning thoſe) that were unaffliction, verſe the 26. I will ſend a faintneſs in their Hearts, &c. The ſame day I had a conſideration of the great evil of ſinning againſt the Lord after p. 60aſſurance. This day I obſerved theſe words. Pſal. 59.3. For loe they lye in wait (Davids Enemies) for my Soul, the mighty are gathered againſt me not for my transgreſſion nor for my ſin O Lord I could truely and with comfort ſay that mine Enemies did perſecute me, but not for my ſin, or transgreſſion which is a comfort to me this day alſo by a ſpecial providence, God brought a dear Friend who praying wit me, my Heart was much affected, and melted.

This day in the morning my Heart was very free to pray for my Perſecutors, and Enemies as freely and really is I was to ſeek and receive pardon for my own ſins, I had power alſo to apply thoſe words to my ſelf. Pſal. 62.2. He is onelyonly my Rock and my Salvation, he is my defence I ſhall not greatly by moved, and in verſe 6. I ſhall not be moved, God did bring this Scripture as an Antidote for that Evening, there came ſeveral perſons one after another, to tell me that I and ſeveral others were to be tryed at the Seſſions, and I obſerved that my Heart was very little moved thereat, but could willingly refer my ſelf to the Lord, and be quiet in, and contented with his will, though never ſo contrary to my own carnal and natural will.

This Evening in diſcourſeing with a poor Chriſtian antient woman, I found by the tenderneſs of Heart the had for ſin and her zeal for God, that ſhe was in a far better temper of Spirit, then I was in which helped on my Humility ſomewhat, this Evening alſo I had ſome power to reſiſt Temptation and to check Corruption.

I had my Heart enlargned and ſoftned in Prayer, and through Gods goodneſs was much freed from Temptations, yet had ſome bodily diſtemper, but I judged it very little and light in compariſon of what it might be.

p. 61I experienced the Lords coming in, and eſpecially in Prayer I obſerved that Scripture, Pſal. 68.28. Thy God hath commanded thy ſtrength, ſtrengthen O God that which thou haſt wrought for us, yet this Evening I was moved to paſſion.

This day ſpent ſo moſt part in writing Letters for Chriſtian Freinds, at ſome of which my Heart was moved, having a great deſire that they might continue in the Faith, and ſtand faſt in the Lord.

This day I was affected with ſome ill news I heard, and my heart was moved with pitty towards ſome in affliction, I had ſome comfort from, Pſal. 69. verſe 36.29. Thoſe whom thou haſt wounded (he perſecuted and afflicted) are thoſe whom God hath wounded, and though poor and ſorrowful yet his ſalvation will ſet them up on high, but eſpecially from verſe the 32. Their Hearts ſhall live that ſeek God and this day in obſerving the Characters which a godly Preacher gives in his Book of thoſe that have their ſins pardoned, that they are thoſe that ſeek pardon wait in the uſe of means till they obtain it, they do freely pardon others and they do love God for his pardoning goodneſs, all which in a meaſure (through free grace) I found in me, alſo Pſal. 71.20. Thou wilt bring me up again &c. was very refreſhing to me, This day being the Lords day I had ſeveral conſiderations of the Sabboth, as it was a ſign between God and his People. Exod. 31.13.17. Ezek. 20.12.17. A ſign of his favour in giving it to them, and of his being in Covenant with them and they with him, if they carefully obſerved it, and therefore it is called the Covenant. Exod. 31.17. As Circumſion a ſign of the Covenant is called a Covenant. Gen. 17.7. My heart was moved to pray earneſtly againſt ſin, and thoſe words in Pſal. 72.12 13, 14. were pretious to me, he ſhall deliver the needy when he cryeth, the poor alſo, and him that hath no helper.

p. 62This day I learned from Pſal. 74.16. The day is thine, and the night it thine, that the State of affliction, as w…ll as a State of poſperity is of the Lord, and neceſſary, and to continue but for a time. Then from Pſal. 76.10. Surely the wrath of man ſhall praiſe thee, and the remainder of wrath thou wilt reſtrain, I learned not to be troubled at mens fury, for God would have glory thereby, and God will reſtrain it when he will, this day I perceived three things much wanting in me.

Firſt, Love enough to Chriſt to make me willing to ſuffer.

Secondly, Repentance enough for Sin.

Thirdly, Care enough in Gods ſervice.

This day I had ſome inlargement in Prayer, I learned alſo.

1. That Prayer is a ſpecial remedy or means to prevent the Soul from ſin.

2. That ordinary ſpiritual Judgments (as hardneſs of Heart, &c.) go before outward Judgements.

3. That it is a very ſad ſign as well as a great ſin, to refuſe the Lord and his Counſel, God complains Pſal. 81.11. That they would not hearken to his Counſels, and that they would none of him.

I had ſome ſence (but trouble for want of more) of the ſufferings of Gods People (in S) and I was encouraged from the following Obſervations and conſiderations.

Firſt. That the man is bleſt whoſe ſtrength is in the Lord, Pſal. 8.4, 5.

Secondly, That when God will return to his People, and bring them back from their captivity, he will forgive their iniquities, cover their ſins, and take away all his wrath, Pſal. 85.1, 2, 3.

Thirdly, That ſalvation is nigh to the People of God p. 63verſe 9.4, That he will ſet his People in the way of his steps, verſe 13.

This day ſuppoſed to be the longeſt in the year I judge it my duty, to be ſtrict in obſerving what glory to God, or good to my Soul, ſuch a long day would produce, 1. In the morning (as the night before) I had my Heart drawn out to pray earneſtly againſt temptations eſpecially one, and I obſerved preſently the temptation ſet upon me, but the Lord delivered me from it, and removed it from me, for which my Heart was affected moved and raiſed to praiſe the Lord. 2. I learned that affliction draws out the Heart of the godly much in Prayer and Supplication. Pſal. 8.11.13. 3. I learned that it is not enough for a Chriſtian to do good, but he ſhould carefully endeavour to do the cheifeſt and moſt ſeaſonable good. 4. By viſiting ſome of the pooreſt Priſoners, I obſerved this, that ſometimes in doing good, a man may be in danger of receiving evil, or a good diſpoſition may bring a man lyable to temptation, in the morning I had encouragement from Pſal. 91.9.10. Becauſe thou haſt made the Lord, which is my refuge, and there ſhall no evil befat thee, I had much refreſhing alſo in the communion of divers Chriſtians, I learned alſo from Revelations the 2.26.27. compared with the 12. Chap. 11. That he that ſuffereth for Chriſt overcometh, ferendo vincere ſpero, at the noiſe of the great thunder this night I was moved to conſider the greatneſs of Iehovah, whoſe voice was ſo loud.

I was troubled in the morning with many bad thoughts, yet had ſome trouble for them but out of Pſal. 102.4.10.24. I obſerved three things, 1. That the heart may be withered, 2. That after God hath lifted up a Saint he may caſt him down again, 3. That Davids argument to move God not to cut p. 64him off in the mideſt of his dayes, was becauſe Gods years were throughout all Generations.

Being the Lords day I found my Heart in as good a frame as I had any day both in reſpect of tenderneſs and enlargedneſs in Prayer, and likewiſe learned ſomewhat from divers Scriptures, eſpecially from 2. Pet. 3. From the conſideration of what God had promiſed to do, and the patience and long ſuffering of Chriſt, and what the Saints did look for, what manner of perſons Chriſtians ought to be, viz.

1. Holy in all manner of Converſation and godlineſs.

2. Looking and expecting the coming of Chriſt.

3. Diligent in geting aſſurance and being found acceptable.

4. Accounting that the patience of God intended from their good.

5. Watchful and careful, leaſt they be drawn aſide into Error.

6. Laſtly, growing in Grace and in the knowledge of Chriſt.

I was obſerving from Pſal. 105.8. How God remembered his Covenant with his People, yea and for them. Pſal. 106.47. alſo his mercy. Pſal. 98.3. And though they either forget or neglect either the one or the other, yet what abundant comfort is this to Beleivers.

This day was a very good day to me, in reſpect of ſeveral favours received from the Lord, for which I deſire to be earneſtly thankful, I learned to conſider how far a man may go with a meer aſcent to truth, without experiencing the power of the ſame working in us, I was alſo earneſt with the Lord that in caſe he did not put an end to my ſufferings, he would put an end to my ſin.

This was a day better reſolved on then obſerved p. 65Oh how oft and in how many wayes are men diſappointed in their purpoſes which ſhews all good to be in the hand of God, and man to be a poor changeable weak Creature, yet from Pſal. 107. I was noting how ready God is to hear the Cry of his People for four times in that Pſal. He is ſaid to hear their Cry in trouble and to deliver them out of their diſtreſs, verſe the 6.13.19.28. and yet it is as obſervable how backward men a…e to return praiſes to God, and therefore in the Pſalms it is alſo ſaid four times! Oh that men would praiſe the Lord for his goodneſs. ve…ſe 8.15.21.31. Though this Evening I had ſome inward refreſhing, yet this Night I had ſore Temptations of ſeveral ſorts.

This day my Temptations continued ſtrong yet with a reſolution (in the ſtrength of Chriſt) to reſiſt & beware of them, and in conſideration o… the words nevertheleſs notwithſtanding, and yet which I find frequent in the Scriptures uſed, and applied to Gods People, both after their ſinning, and under their ſuff ing. I had ſome com…ort, as Pſal 106.8 44. 1 Kings 2. chap. 12. Pſal. 40.17. & 42.8

This d y fr…m ſeveral Scriptures (as Pſal. 119. 4. Acts 6.4. 1 Cor. 7.3.) compared togeth…r, I was convinced it was a ſpecial duty (in which I was too n…gligent) to give ones ſelf to P…ayer, I alſo obſerved that, neglecting the ſeaſon ſo ſervi…e or duty, p…oves ſometimes a perfect o…iſſion of that d…y, I alſo was obſerving …he great happin… of a good m n above the wicked, that the Lord ſtands at the right hand of the one, and the Devil at the right ha…d of the other. Pſal. 109.31, compare… with the 6. verſe.

This day I was learning that a Chriſtian ſhould endeavour to pe…orm all his duties, (1.) more int…rely, or with his whole Heart, Pſal. 111.1. & 119. p. 662. (2.) More delightfully. Pſal. 119.16.53, 47, 70. Rom. 7.22. (3.) With more judgement and diſcretion. Pſal. 112, 5. (4.) With perſeverance, Col. 4.2. This morning I was overcome with paſſion and frowardneſs, which made me enquire into the reaſon of that and other Corruptions, I was obſerving this, that it is a mercy to have the Soul come to its place again after ſin, but far better not to go out of its place at all, this Night I had a very ſore and ſtrong Temptation, but was through the grace of God ſupported, and ſtrengthened from the conſideration of Chriſt that was tempted, who conſiders thoſe that are tempted, alſo from his Prayer, Iohn 17.11. and from thoſe two promiſes, Iſa. 59.19, James 4.7. I fled to the Lord by Prayer and he delivered me, and I truſt he alſo will deliver me.

Being the Lords day I had my Heart in a reaſonable good frame in the morning in Prayer, I was obſerving that God exalteth himſelf, even then when he humbleth himſelf to look on men. Pſal. 113.6. marg. I found my Heart much raiſed and enlarged in Prayer for Gods work, and People, & had faith therein, I obſerved from Iſa. 38.17. For Peace I had great Bitterneſs, &c. I learned that a Chriſtians condition is murable, and therefore he ſhould be contented with his condition what ever it be, and whether comfortable or miſerable he ſhould look that God may ſoon alter it, and he ſhould not deſire to go out of one ſtate into another, till he hath gotten good by being in the former. 2. That Gods love is not only ſeen in the removing affliction from us, but in afflicting of us alſo. 3. That Gods People ſhould learn to gain aſſurance, and experience by affliction. This Evening I was much refreſhed in reading Bains upon the Epheſ. eſpecially one chap. the 1.13. and the 4.30. Concerning the ſealing of the Spirit.

p. 67This day I obſerved the duty and reſolution of a ſincere Chriſtian, viz. to walk before the Lord. Pſal. 116.9. Gen. 24.40. I was alſo thinking how neceſſary it is for a right Chriſtian that deſires to walk holily, to obſerve carefully the inward workings of the Spirit of God, as alſo the ſecret wayes and methods of ſin, I was convinced (alſo) how uneffectual it is for a Chriſtian to promiſe, or reſolve any thing in his own ſtrength.

I learned from David that he oft mentions ſerving, and ſeeking God with his whole Heart, which dutie… I love, and would learn more experimentally, and practically according to Pſal. 112.2.10.34.69.

This day I was enlarged, and ſomewhat ſoftened in the duty of Prayer ſeveral times, and convinced what an evil it is in Gods ſight. 1. To be long under affliction unhumbled, and uncleanſed, Jer. 44.10. Joſ. 22.17. and eſpecially to ſin wittingly, and to add ſin to ſin, I was conſidering of four duties to repent for ſin to redeem time, to get fuller aſſurance, and to prepare for Chriſt, I was alſo affected with ſome news that concerned the People of God.

This day I was obſerving that though a true Chriſtian may have a ſound Heart, and Faith in the word of the Lord, yet he may be as a Bottle in the ſmoak dry and withered, yea and fainting, and fail…ing, for the Lord and his ſalvation. Pſal. 119.80, 81, 82, 83. I learned this alſo that diſappointment …n ones expectation cauſeth dejection and trouble.

This day having had a long and ſerious diſcourſe with a knowing Gentleman, I obſerved ſomewhat more then even I had done before, concerning the Image of God, and the new man mentioned in Epheſ. …. 24. Col. 3.10. I had conſideration alſo that Child of God may eaſily ſee to the end of, or beyond p. 68all that the men of the world can do to him, I had ſome inlargedneſs and ſoftneſs of Heart in Prayer, alſo I obſerved ſeveral things from 1. Theſſ. 2.

I obſerved the following Leſſons. (1.) That by gaining underſtanding from and delight in the Statutes and Precepts of the Lord, a Christian comes to hate every falce and wicked way, Pſal. 119.97.104, (2.) To ſeek to get a Heart inclined alwayes to perform Gods Statutes, verſe 112. (3.) That when a Soul hath an intention to keep Gods Commandements he will abſtain from the company of evil doers, verſe 115. I had great trouble and ſorrow in my Heart in the Evening, from a Letter I had from a Brother tu…ned Quaker but my Heart was much drawn forth to to pray for him.

This day being Lords day in the morning▪ I had my Heart drawn forth again to pray earneſtly for that Brother, and had my Spirit ſeveral times ſomewhat revived this day, and among ſeveral other things, which I obſerved. 1. That a Child of God be altered much in the frame of his Spirit from better to worſe, as Baruch, alſo Ionah &c. (2.) That a time of common calamity it will be a mercy for a religious man to have his life as Baruch was p omiſed to have Jer. 45.5. (3.) I obſerving how God may puniſh a good man in the ſame kind that he ſins as Aſa with pain in his Feet, a… he had put the Prophet in the Stocks before. 2. Chron. 16.10. & 12 compared (4.) Oh what an evil it is in a Chriſtian to ſin, David was told that he deſpiſed the Lord, and his Commandement, 2 Samuel 12.8.10. (5.) From Ezek. 10.11. that the Wheels (that is either they Angels Saints, or the providences of God) they followed the head, and turned not as they went ſo ſhould we follow Chriſt. (6.) It is obſerveable p. 69that God takes notice of all that is in the minds of men, Ezek. 11.5. as well as all the words in their Tongues, as the frame of mens Spirits, ſo they think of God, for if they be holy, and faithful they conceive ſo of God. This day alſo I found the evil of my Heart to be in one frame when it ſhould be in another, as to rejoyce when it ſhould mourn.

I loſt oppertunities this day to ſerve the Lord by diſcourſes with ſeveral ſorts of perſons, eſpecially ſome that pretend to the Virgin life who mightily ſleight Ieſus of Nazareth and the Scriptures, which made me ſtrongly oppoſe them, and do with them as the Apoſtle commands, 2. Iohn 10. that promiſe alſo was ſweet unto me. Pſal. 121.3. He will not ſuffer thy Feet to be moved.

This day in the Morning, and at Noon I had my Heart drawn out and ſoftned more then ordinary in Prayer, yet I found my Heart ſuddenly moved to anger, this was in divers ſences a day of great kindnes from the Lord; I was obſerving from Hoſ. 12. (1.) That fear, care and trembling, are eſpecial means to keep the godly from ſin. (2.) That ſin doth ſet the Soul of a good frame. (3.) That when once the Soul goeth out of a good frame it is hardly recovered. (4) That when God is about to deliver his People from ſufferings, he begins to deliver them from ſin.

I had expe…ience of this that it is far better to go to P ayer often then be too tedious, and to conſider of ſome eſpecial p…rti…ular thing to pray for and be importunate by promiſes & arguments for them, alſo I obſerved from Pſal 12… 6. That weeping it one duty of Chriſtian… in the time of their Captivity, and ha… thoſe that weep they ſhall ſur…ly find a time of …ejo…cing L…ke …. 6.21. J hn 6 20

This day I had my Heart much ſoftned enlarged p. 70and warmed in Prayer, eſpecially one time, but in the Evening had conviction of my ſlothfulneſs, alſo of my great indiſcretion in diſcourſing about ſpiritual things, I obſerved from Pſal. 129.1, 2. Many times have they afflicted me from my youth, yet they have not prevailed, that Gods People may be delivered under and out of affliction.

I was troubled this day at my ignorance both in natural and ſpiritual things, and had th ough the Lords ſpecial favour to me a ſweet fit of ſorrow, and repentance for my ſins, with two ſpecial ſuitable Scriptures, he ſhall redeem Iſrael from all his iniquities, Pſal. 130.8. and Hoſ. 3.1. Go yet love a woman beloved of her Freind, yet an adultereſs according to the love of the Lord, oh what kind of love is this for God to love an Adultereſs, and what comfort to a poor Backſlider, for to ſuch theſe words are cheifly ſpoken.

Through the conſtant coming, and continuing of Freinds, I had little time for ſecret duties, which together with the ſaying of a grave Gentleman that this 40 years he had not neglected to read every day two or three Chapters in the Bible, what ever his buſineſs were, convinced of my neglects in the ſervice of God, this day I met with a new affliction which too little affected me.

This day the Lord was pleaſed to ſet my thoughts on ſeveral Leſſons, which Chriſtians ſhould be learning in this day as (1.) To be humbled under the mighty hand of God, 1. Pet. 5.5. (2.) To keep themſelves undefiled, 1. Tim. 5.22. 1. John 5.22. (3.) Not to fear any Creatures, Iſa. 41. Mat. 10.28.31. Rev. 2.10. (4.) To lay to Heart the ſins of the wicked, and the ſins and ſufferings of the godly. (5.) To keep up their Watch. (6.) Not to neglect Saints fellowſhip, Heb. 10.29. (7.) To get fuller aſſurance p. 71through our repentance, &c. (8.) from Daniel 3.16, 17. I obſerved that 1. Great ſudden and …navoidable tryal may come upon the Saints. 2. That true Saints will be more feareful of the leaſt ſin then the greateſt ſuffering. 3. That Faith in God, a diſregard of the World, and a devine reſolution will carry Chriſtians through ſufferings, I had my Heart drawn out in Prayer.

This day I took notice of three or four remarkable Providences, I was alſo convinced of too much natural and ſelf-reſolution, alſo of my cowardlyneſs to reprove ſin in great Perſons, I conſidered what an evil, and ſin it is for one to attribute to himſelf more then is due, and conſidering how God may make one condition beſt for one one time, which is not beſt at another time, I had ſome refreſhing in Prayer this day.

This day in the morning there was a providence which I met with, which is like to prove in the end very remarkable, but whether my acting and appearing therein was from the Lord, I muſt leave the iſſue to manifeſt it, only from thence I was obſerving 1. That Truth and Sincerity, right ends, asking Counſel of God, and adviſing with the People of God. Firſt, Is great ſatisfaction to a Chriſtian in what he doth. Secondly, Yet when a mans judgement, and Conſcience is not fully in a mans buſineſs, he loſeth much comfort in what he doth.

Lhis day in the morning I had trouble in my Spirit, for what I did doubtfully the day before, and ſhed many tears for my dear Brethren that turned Quakers eſpecially Thomas Ell, I had alſo comfort from that Scripture Pſal. 138.7. Though I walk in the midſt of trouble &c. In the Evening I had conſideration and ſight of ſeveral things amiſs in me, and had my Heart affected in asking for the ſame.

p. 72This morning I was troubled for a vile thought, and in the Evening troubled at my impatience yet had ſweet and comfortable refreſhing from Dan. 11.35. and a Heart to pray ſenſibly and affectionately for Gods People, and my hope raiſed for them f om Pſal. 125.3. For the Rod of the wicked ſhall not alwayes reſt, &c.

This day being the Lords day I had comfort from that Scripture, Prov. 24.16. For a juſt man falleth ſeven times and riſeth up again, and likewiſe from Iames 5 15. and Iohn 1.5 8. eſpecially from that place, Gen. 3.21. Where God is ſaid to make Clothes to Adam and Eve, and not only ſo but to Cloath them, or put them on, from Dan. 3.17, 18. I obſerved that real Saints do fear the leaſt ſin more then the g eateſt ſufferings, becauſe ſin is a worſe evil then ſuffering. 2. Becauſe therein they do imitate Ch iſt ſuffering. 3. Becauſe the evil of ſuffering conſiſts with the ſpecial will and pleaſure of God, but ſo doth not ſin. 4. Becauſe they know that if they ſin they ſhall ſuffer. 5. Becauſe they know if they chuſe ſufferings they ſhall be either ſaved from it, or carried through it. 6. Becauſe they are under the promiſe if they ſuffer, but under the Threats and Judgements of God if they ſin.

This day being a day of writing to ſome Freinds, I found my affection quickened more eſpecially towards one Brother that did abide loving and faithful, and for ſome others that had turned aſide. I obſerved this from Eves words, Gen. 4.1. That one may receive a mercy from the Lord, which may not be uſed for the Lord.

Pſalm 139.10. I did obſerved two great comforts in caſe of baniſhment, even there (that is the uttermoſt parts of the Earth. 1. Shall thy hand …end me, 2. Thy right hand ſhall hold me up, ſo p. 73from Pſal. 145.14. The Lord upholdeth all that fall, and raiſeth up all thoſe that be bowed down, this day was a reaſonable good day to me.

This day had better intentions then performances yet I was convinced how ſhort I came of doing the good I might do, in a day place, condition I am in, and how I come ſhort o… that which Paul mentions of himſelf, 1. Theſſ. 2.2 We were bold in our God, &c. I was ſenſible that I had …on much of the boldneſs I had, and eſpecially in reproving ſin.

This was a very good day in many reſpects, firſt I had divers pretious Freinds to viſit me, Secondly a good L…ter expreſſing the ſtate of my Freinds in the Country. Thirdly, another ſpecial and unexpected Providence. Fourthly, I had my Heart ſeveral times in a good frame of Prayer. Fifthly, I learned f om Pſal. 149.2.4. How it is mutually between God and his People, they joy in him and he take pleaſure in them, I alſo was thinking of the grounds of Saints doubts about their ſalvation, viz. Ignorance in the Covenant of grace, want of obſerving their Hearts of keeping up Holineſs Slothfulneſs, and favouring ſome ſecret ſin, and not profiting by ordinances.

I was noting that the wicked are not aſhamed to profeſs that they endeavour hurt to the righteous without a cauſe, Prov. 1.11. and that the godly ſhould g…ow more bold by how much the more their afflictions increaſe 1. Theſſ. 2.2. I had my heart this day ſo tned in P…yer.

I was this day convinced of the negligence in that duty of deſiring to ſee the Faces of the Saints as Paul did 1. Theſſ. 3.11. I received a ſpecial Letter this day from our dear Brother I. B. which ſuited much with my condition and judgement, I learned a word from one that I could not expect ſuch words, viz. I did p. 74not heretofore prize neither great things that were temporal of ſpiritual, but now I prize the leaſt things of either ſort from 2. Cor. 7. chap. 4, 5, 6. I obſerved 1. That in the greateſt trouble Gods People may have the greateſt comforts. 2. That their comfort is originally from God. 3. That God may ſend in theſe comforts at ſuch times, and in ſuch a manner as they expect not, this Evening my Soul was a little refreſhed by divers promiſes and ſoftned in Prayer.

Being the Lords day I obſerved from Prov. 3.16. In all thy wayes acknowledge him, that godlineſs is an eying of God, owning of God, imitating of God, and reſpecting of God in all our wayes, and upon the conſideration of theſe two following queſtions, (I had many thoughts) ſome of which were refreſhing and ſatisfying to me from the firſt queſtion how we may know that we have received real good & benefit by our afflictions. Secondly, How we may know when God doth afflict in Love and Faithfulneſs, Pſal. 119.75.71. alſo divers other meditations from Rev. 12.10. They overcame by the word of their teſtimony, and by the Blood of the Lamb, &c. and concerning the ſpiritual Race which a Chriſtian is to run, I had ſome enlargedneſs and tenderneſs of heart.

God according to his uſual way and dealing with me, foreſeeing what I could not (to wit more approaching affliction) did this day adminiſter an Antidote, even comfort by Letters, from the hands of ſeveral ſpecial Freinds, alſo thoſe words keep ſound wiſdome, keep my ſaying in the mideſt of thine heart, and keep thy heart with all diligence, were (I adjudged) words worthy of obſervation, hearing this Evening of a gratious Brother and Preacher ſickneſs, my heart was moved earneſtly to pray for him.

I obſerved in the Morning a ſpecial exhortaion p. 75out of Prov. 5.1. My Son attend unto my wiſdome, and bow thine Ear unto my underſtanding, alſo verſe the 23. that ſin is a great folly, ſo chap. 18.13. Judg. 19.23. This day I received a ſad Letter from a Brother T. E. that is turned Quaker, which added much …o my affliction, the good Lord ſhew him the E …or of his way and humble and reclaim him, this day I was ſenſible of my aptneſs to be angry, and was put ſeriouſly to enquire into the voice, and will of God by theſe additional afflictions, and I find a need of the continuance of them, and my heart brought into a more ſubmiſſive frame to bear and ſuffer his Rod.

This day I bleſs the Lord was a good day to my Soul, I had enlargedneſs and much freeneſs with ſome meaſure of ſoftneſs and earneſtneſs in Prayer, eſpecially for the Saints of God, and perticularly for my own country Chriſtians, I had alſo a ſtrong reſolution to watch my ſelf more carefully, and do my duty more diligently then formerly, out of Prov, 7. I obſerved, ſeveral helps or means to prevent, and preſerve the Soul from ſin, viz. 1. A laying up the Commandements in the Heart. 2. A looking on them, or eying of them. 3. Getting endeared affection to Chriſt. 4. By taking heed of the occaſions thereof.

This day was but a flat drowſie day to my Soul, nor great good gained, but ſin and grace not diſcernably active, and affections unwarmed and unquickened, yet convinced of loſt time, and comforted a little from 1 Theſſ. 4. With thoughts of Chriſts coming.

I was this morning inſtructed from wiſdomes words Prov. 8.8. (All the words of my mouth are in righteouſneſs, and there is nothing froward in them,) that I ſhould take more heed for the time to come, p. 76of a froward Month and Tongue, this day alſo I hope I can humbly ſay it I injoyed the Lord both in Meditation and Prayer, and being ſenſible of the want of skil in beleiving, and more diligence in ſanctification, and thereupon I am reſolved through grace and hope to be enabled to take more heed to my ways, and as the Lord alſo preſented that Scripture (to me) Theſſ. 5.15. But ever follow that which is good.

This day I had a check in my Spirit for lightneſs of heart, and beſides an outward ſpecial Providence, I obſerved, I learned from the ſin I ſaw, and heard of in others to loath (or at leaſt deſired to loath) it in my ſelf, I alſo obſerved from Prov. 9.18. That one main Reaſon why People do not leave ſin, is becauſe they do not know or conſider the puniſhment of ſin, alſo what a commendable thing it is for Chriſtians to be patient, and beleiving in all Perſecution, and Tribulations, Theſſ. 2.1. chap. 4.

This day being the Lords day through Gods grace, I had my heart much ſoftened, and enlarged to call upon God, eſpecially one time I obſerved alſo that, that want of the love to the truth, and love to unrighteouſneſs, are the cauſes of men falling from the faith, 2. Theſſ. 2.10.12. alſo ano…her excellent Leſſon from that word 2. Theſſ. 3.1…. where he ſpeaks of buſie Bodies, which ſignifies properly to be too intent about the work we ſhould not be.

This d… I had my heart ſet ſomewhat upon the conſideration h… t v… p … … …s, P…ov. 11.2 12, 13. The …ust …hall be del…ve…ed and the juſt ſhall be ſaved on of troub…e … d… I was no…eing a great difference, between having the light and the love p. 77of the truth, this day I received an Anſwer from a Chriſtian Freind, of a B…others buſineſs of concernment which ſignified his love and care, and increaſed my affection to him, I was ſomewhat affected alſo with the ſweet Counſel of Chriſt, to the Church of Sardis.

I had my Soul in ſome good frame, eſpecially in Prayer, and comfort from the conſideration of the promiſes, in Pſal. 1.3. That the good man ſhall bear Fruit, and that his Fruit ſhall not wither, and Iſa. 49.25. and Jer. 33.20. From the ſtability of the Covenant, I likewiſe conſidered 1. That there is that in Chriſt which anſwers every condition. 2. That we have done that which deſerves the worſt condition. 3. That we ſhould mind more the glory of God, and our duty in our condition, and not ſtrive to make our outward ſtate in a natural w…y ſweet, which God intends to ſweeten otherwiſe.

Next day I ſound my heart in a hard and ſtreight condition and frame moſt part of this day, and not diſpoſed to the duty intended as it ought and in the Evening of this day I was moved to paſſion, but avoiding occaſion… y…ng to the Lord I was delivered, and from Prov. 13.3 I learned two Leſſons. Firſt, to keep my mouth, and to be well adviſed, I alſo found a g…eat deſire to grow in plainneſs, and ſincerity of heart.

This day by diſcourſe I came to underſtand ſome Scriptures eſpecially Iohn 3.14. and the 11.10. (as is obſerved an written down in both thoſe margen…s) clearer then eve… b… o e, alſo I obſe…ved where the word Soul (Nepheſh) is taken for … dead body▪ Numbers the 9.6. the 6. Chap 6. al…o two other neceſſary and ſeaſonable Leſſo…s from Prov. 14.8.15. viz. To underſtand the way, and to look p. 78well to my goings, alſo this Evening I had my heart a little more then ordinary ſoftened, and enlarged in Prayer.

This day I experienced but little good or gain gotten to my Soul, and found my Heart but in a flat frame, yet I was affected a little with the conſideration of the great honour given by the Elders, and others to Ieſus Chriſt, Rev. 5.13. and I perceived more deſire after true ſincerity of heart, and obſerved a good providence of God.

This day I obſerved a remarkable paſſage in a great mans ſuffering death, that he vowed, and wiſhed that if ever he did game again he might be hanged, and hanged he was, a warning to look to our wiſhes, then I marked thoſe two words, Prov. 15.4. That perverſneſs in the Tongue is or makes a breach in the Spirit, I was ſmitten in my Conſcience for an evil thought, and convinced for my unconſtancy in good, and want of more ſence of my own, and others ſins, and ſlackneſs in ſome ſervices, but I had comfort from the 1. Theſſ. 5.24. That Gods faithfulneſs ingages him to perfect his work in his People and to preſerve them to the end.

This day being the Lords day I learned amongſt many other Leſſons from Ezek. 20. (1.) That when Gods People do come to ordinances, yet they ſhould expect good only from God the People ſate before Ezekiel but inquired of God, verſe 1. (2.) That when People abuſe their Gifts, God will pollute them therein, and thereby, verſe 26. (3.) That thoſe that go on in ſin cannot expect to find God when they call upon him. (4.) That God may ſometimes return the captivity of his People before they repent, verſe 42, 43, I was convinced that it is my duty. 1. To ſtudy my duty more. 2. To ſtrive to do my duty better, this whole day I was p. 79troubled with the Head-ach, and pain in my Stomach, but I found the Lord enabling me with much patience, & moving my heart to praiſe him that affliction is not far greater Calm, joy and eaſe, came this morning from the preſence of the Lord, after trouble and pain, with a reſolution to prize time, and mercy, and to walk better and more diligently before the Lord who directeth the ſteps, Prov. 16.9. and he that keepeth his way preſerveth his Soul, which Scriptures I obſerved this Morning, this Evening I had ſome communion with the Lord in Prayer, I was lead to look upon that duty, 1. Tim. 2.2.13. Of praying for all men, and from what I heard of another to praiſe God for his goodneſs to me.

This Morning I obſerved a ſpecial providence by the coming of a Freind to viſit me, and obſerved further from Prov. 17.5. Howbeit Gods affliction is compared to a fining Pot or Furnace, to try and purge the Heart, alſo what a ſad thing tis to have good oppertunities and prizes put into our hands, but to want improving hearts, or to have corruption hinder good, verſe 16, 20. I found no eſpecial enlargment, nor communion with the Lord this day, but rather a provocation to pride yet of that good word in Tim. 1.3. chap. 2.6. met with me.

This day (being willing to wait upon God,) I found him good to me in ſoftening and inlarging, and drawing out my Heart in Prayer, and I had ſome comfort from thoſe words, Pſal. 9.9. The Lord will be a refuge for the oppreſſed, a refuge in times of trouble, and verſe the 18. the needy ſhall not alwayes be forgotten, yet this Evening I was ſet upon by temtation which in part prevailed and in part was reſiſted.

In the Morning fowl and and ſinful thoughts came into my heart, but God made them bitter and burdenſome p. 80to me, and now little ſins begin like Flies to be more troubleſome to me yet I much ſu…pect my ſelf if the Lo…d left me to my ſelf never ſo little, and ſhort a time, I had ſome joy and ſtrength from Prov. 20.21. Wait on the Lord and he ſhall ſave thee.

This day my heart was ſomewhat melted and warmed in duty, and I found power to reſiſt temptation, I had alſo my heart in a reaſonable good meaſure brought to conſider, why the Lo d afflicts me and adds afflictions, and was throughly reſolv…d in two things, that I would do what I could to pacificy God, and to pleaſe him, and to beleive in his free grace through Chriſt, let him do what he will with me. I was obſerving three comforts to the righteous from Prov. 21.18.28.31.

This day was a good day both inwardly and outwardly eſpecially outwardly, I had ſome thoughts of Gods judgement to fear them and to endeavour to ſhun them, and to intreat the Lord not to let me ſhare with the wicked in their puniſhments much leſs their ſins, I obſerved from Prov 22.14. that it is a ſign of hatred to be left to ſin, an excellent promiſe in verſe 23. alſo twelve Leſſons Paul teaches 1. Tim. 4.

This day being the Lords day I had ſome e… joyment of the Lords preſence (as I obſerved) and among other things I obſerved fi…ſt f…om Ezek. 39 26. That the firſt thing that th… Lo…d d…th in the Redemption o… his People is to b ing them to remember thei… ſins, and to repent for them▪ …nd ſo having cleanſed, and ſaved them from their iniquties, Jer. 33.8. Ezek. 36 29. he wo ks th…n …eir temporal and outward deliverance. 2. F…om the f…ſt verſe that when the Lord hath given his …pi… to … People he never forſakes them more. 3. From Pſal. 80.5, 17. I had conſiderations of the great ſuff…rings p. 81of the Church of God of old, and the ground of their comfort which is Chriſt. 4. From Rev. 12. was much refreſhed to conſider that the Church when ſhe went to the Wilderneſs, yet that was by Wings that God gave her, and likewiſe in the Wilderneſs there was a place prepared by God for her, and there ſhe was nurſed her whole time.

This day I obſerved from Lev. 26. Gods way of dealing outwardly with his People either in mercy or affliction, according to their obedience or diſobedience, but though they have ſined and brought puniſhment upon themſelves, yet upon their confeſſion of ſin, humbling of their hearts, and accepting of their puniſhment, God remits their ſins, and removes the puniſhment, this day God in his providence ordered that I ſhould hurt and bruiſe my Leg which might have been much worſe, I humbly praiſe God for it, and hope to profit by it.

This day my heart was very much enlarged, ſoftened and quickened in Prayer twice (but eſpecially once) and raiſed through the power of God exceedingly to be willing to ſuffer, I learnt. 1. To beware of ſleight and ſhort repentance (a thing I often conſider off) 2. To fear ſecret ſelf conceitedneſs, after the well performing of a duty. 3. To take heed of the corrupting Flies of vain thoughts and idle words. 4. From P…ov. 24.1. Not to deſire the company of evil men. 5. To ſee, conſider, look and receive inſtruction from the Evil of others. 6. That ſuch as do the will of God but not with a good end ſhall be puniſhed, Hoſ. 1.4.

This day I was troubled with vain and wandering thoughts in ſolemn duties yet was made ſenſible of them, and in ſome meaſure reſiſted them effectually, I Learned from Prov. 25.22. how to perform my duty towards my Enemies, and from chap. 26. p. 8226. the danger of keeping ſecret ſins, that God will diſcover them before the Congregation.

God favoured me this day with kindneſs from, and affected me ſomewhat with the relation and reading of Gods wonderful and ſtrange works, at which I deſire to ſtand in admiration, and to fear and tremble, alſo to be affected with the ſufferings of other Saints, that differ from me: I obſerved alſo from Prov. 26.23. How a wicked Hea t may be covered and undiſce…ned, as a Potſhe d covered with droſs, alſo from chap 27.12. the Character and care of a prudent man, viz. to foreſee the evil and hide himſelf, and from 2. Tim. 1. to learn to partake of ſufferings, and not to be aſhamed of ſufferers.

This day though I roſe earlyer then ordinary, yet through the multiplicity and continuance of company, I made not ſuch good imp…ovement thereof, I cannot ſay I profited much or gained or learned any thing, unleſs it w re from P ov. 27.12. That a prudent man foreſeeth the evil and hideth himſelf, alſo from 2. Tim. 2.11.12. I …ſe ved great encouragement to ſuffer for Chriſt, becauſe we ſhall live and raign with him, alſo to labour to be pure, fit Veſſels for the Lord, to follow a…ter Righteouſneſs, Faith, Peace, Charity, &c.

I was convinced this day of four things I was too negligent in, viz. Studying the Scriptures ſending to the Chriſtians (eſpecially thoſe to whom I relate,) finiſhing ſomewhat I intended and begun, and improving my Talent in this place, more to the benefit of other poor Souls, I had my heart ſoftened, and in ſome meaſure enlarged this day in Prayer, and truely affected with ſome Chriſtians that came to ſee me, I had ſome comfortable conſiderations from three promiſes, Prov. 28.10, 20, 26. The p. 83upright ſhall have good things in poſſeſſion, who ſo walketh …prightly ſhall be ſaved and who ſo walketh wiſely ſhall be delivered, I had alſo comfortable from Hoſ. 3, 4.5. Compared together and was put to conſide… thoſe in 2. Tim. 3.2 &c.

This morning though too ſlothful, I had ſome b…eathings of the Spirit of the Lord, and kindled affections in P…ayer, thoſe words in Prov. 29.25. were ſome comfort and ſupport to me the fear of man bringeth a ſ…a…e, but who ſo putteth his truſt in the Lord ſhall be ſafe, among other conſiderations I had this day 1. I conſidered that it was the needful…ſt thing in a dangerous time to get aſſurance of Gods favour and ſalvation, and to make haſt to repent and return to the Lord. 2. To conſider our ſpiritual warfare, and to q…i… our ſelves like Chriſtians in ſtriving for victory over our …piritual Enemies I had comfort from that bleſſed p…omiſe Ier. the 33.7 8.

Th…s d…y I had no great benefit to my Soul only from Hoſ 4 8.10 12. I obſerved (1.) That to have the heart ſet on iniquity. (2.) To leave off taking need to the Lord. 3. To loſe the heart, or have it indiſpoſed to good. 4. To go from under God. 5. To be left …o …n o… igno ant of the mind of the Lo…d, are moſt ſad things al…o from the 2. Tim. 4. (1.) To Watch … all …hi…g. 2. Endure. 3. To be doing our p…eſ…n… duty. 4. Looking for our cha ge, and d… n…ng o… God to be kept …om evil, were m… …aſo…e pre…nt L…ſſons.

I …ound ſome ſoftn…ſ… & …n…e…ity of heart thi… da…, and h d t…re ſpe… …d … in things in my hea t to de…i…e …om Co… 1. … A th ough repent…nce … recove…y … of fo…mer ſins. 2. To be per…ctly p… ſerved …o the …e to come from evil. 3. To be … or my diſſolution, or ſufferings. I received p. 84much kindneſs from the Lord this day, the words in Hoſ. 5.15. Till they acknowledge their iniquity (or be guilty) I conſidered and thought I c…e ſhort thereof yet thoſe words Prov. 28.13. He that confeſſeth and forſaketh his ſin ſhall find mercy.

This day I injoyed ſome meaſure of the Spirit in ſoftening and drawing out of my heart in Prayer, and ſomewhat in beleiving, and tenderneſs towards others, and thoſe words Eccleſ. 3, 18. Of Gods manifeſting unto men that they are but Beaſts, I deſired to apply, and to take heed of being guilty of any of thoſe ſins mentioned, Hoſ. 4. (1.) Of ſetting the heart upon any iniquity verſe the 8. 2. Of leaving to take heed to the Lord. 3. Of loſing the heart, or growing heartleſs in good. 4. Of going from under God, alſo from Titus the 1.14. not to give heed to the Commandments of men.

This was a day wherein God abounded in kindneſs towards me, yet I was convinced that I was not guilty enough, or ſenſible enough of mine iniquities, (as God requires Hoſ. 5.15. and from Titus 2. I learned that a true Chriſtian eſpecially a Miniſter of the Goſpel, ſhould be 1. Sound in doctrine, 2. Sound in Faith, and ſound in Speech. And concernining beleiving I had three things. 1. To ſtudy more the grounds of Faith, and the reaſons inducing thereto, 2. Not to give way to any thing againſt beleiving. 3. To maintain Faith by holineſs.

This day God was pleaſed to enlarge my heart in good, and to weaken corruption making me ſenſible alſo of the preſent evils both of ſin and ſuffering, I learned from Titus 3.8.9. That R…generation, Juſtification and Adoption are of Gods Love, Pitty, Mercy and meer Grace, alſo to be ready to, p. 85diligent in, and profited by every good work, and to be angry with my ſelf for ſinful things, and deny my ſelf in lawful things, oh my trouble! that I reſolve ſome things I have not power to do.

This day I learned in the morning three things, 1. His coming into the World. 2. His walking before, and living in this world rightly. 3. His departure out of this world, alſo this day in the Evening the Lord ſhewed me kindneſs in ſome degree, and I had the conſideration of the ſtate to others upon my heart, yet I was convinced that I wanted more ſoftneſs of Heart.

Though this day was ſomewhat painful to my body yet I had ſome refreſhing thereon to my Soul for 1. I obſerved out of Heb. 12.16. Encouragement to ſuffer, alſo inquiries into Beleive…s building upon the true Foundation, from Math. 7.24. withal, many comforts from Chriſts carriage between his Reſurrection and Aſcention from this day to the 29. I obſerved not much ſave that my heart was in an ordinary Frame not much elivated in good, nor caſt down with evil.

God moved my heart to praiſe him for his mercy the night before, and indeed it was worthy of praiſe, and I found a very great encouragement in my ſpirit to the Lord for it, this day I received divers Letters from my Freinds in the Country, which were very refreſhing, and the Lord came very ſeaſonable into my Soul through many expreſſions in Pſal. 91.

It pleaſed the Lord this day to draw forth, and to inlarge my heart much in Prayer, with many tears, and from the 1. Kings and Ier. 50.20. To comfort me much in reſpect of the p…n of ſin, alſo to conſider four Leſſons. 1. To be think my ſelf more of the ſins I had committed. 2. To confeſs p. 86th…m more ſenſibly. 3. To turn from them more effectually. 4. To look upon it as a work of Chriſt (a it was to the Preiſts under the Law) to cleanſe the Sanctuary either the Churches of God of the hearts o… his People, 2. Chron. 29.16.

This day did God tenderly afflict me in my head yet wonderfully whilſt I was at Prayer removed it, I perceived it in the midle of Pr…yer departing from me, I heard alſo from Chriſtians in the Country which much refreſhed me, I obſerved two comfortable words from Ier. 50.33.34, 51.53. For the Church of God, and methought according to that Scripture Pſal. 102.14. I had ſome, pleaſure in the Stones, and did favour the duſt of Z…on, and from Hoſ. 8. I obſerved ſon Leſſons 1. To take heed of leaving, to take heed to the Lo d eſpecially in an evil time. 2. Of ſhort repentance. 3. Of being a Veſſel of no delight in Goes ſight. 4. Of being giving up to ſin,

Being the Lords day I think I may ſay it was a ſweet day to my Soul in …ivers …eſpects.

This day was good to the outward man, but I ſound a carnal rickling of ſelf conceitedneſs in ſome thing I had done and was doing, and I was convinced that my time ſtole away inſenſible, I obſerved that the Character of bad profeſſion are out of Hoſ. 10. are (1.) To bring forth Fruit unto themſelves 2. To have a divided Heart. 3. To be worſe by affliction. 4. To have the evil of evil, verſe 14.

This day I would ever remember becauſe of my great folly in my great frowardneſs towards my Wife and another, my Conſcience reproved me for it, and I was convinced from Prov. 14.17.29. What evil I did thereby.

Being a day of Prayer I found my heart by Gods goodneſs much enlarged, ſorrowing much p. 87for the faults of the former day I learned from Exek. 10. Three duties 1. To know the time. 2. To redeem it, and 3. To conſider how ſoon it may be at an end.

Being the day my Wife went to W. I found an inclina…ion in me, to …owardneſs but God reſtrained it and I found that Evening a continued ſence and ſorrow of, and for my former evil, I learned from Eccleſ. 11. (1.) That a man ſhould haſten to do what good he can, becauſe of the evil that is coming upon the Earth. (2.) Put away evil from my Fleſh.

This day and night following I was much troubled with temptations, out of Eccleſ. 12. I obſerved many things that ſhould move to mind their mortality, and that there is a time when the days will be ſo evil that they will not be deſired alſo in the 9. & 10. it is ſaid twice that the Preacher ſought out. 1. Matter. 2. Words.

This day I had power to repulſe temptation alſo a conſideration that the bleſſed and righteous man. 1. Doth not go in ſin preſumptuoſly. 2. Nor continue in ſin careleſly, nor 3. Give way to ſin con…ivingly, I alſo conſidered that God in affliction doth no more to a Child of his then the Angel did to Peter Acts the 5. Smite him to awake him out of Sleep.

Being the Lords day I was refreſhed in the morning with the preſence and ſpirit of God in Prayer, and from the conſideration of the wiſdome, watchfulneſs, and inweariedneſs of Satan in deceiving and tempting, I ſhould learn to be watch ul, and careful in keeping from the ſame.

The following Week my Book being from me I did not write my obſervations, only I remember that upon the ſ…atch day I had comforts, both by p. 88power I had againſt temptations, and from a Letter I had which came from ſeveral Freinds in Wales.

Alſo the laſt day of the week I found my heart much intent upon preaching, and with tears I did both ſtudy my Sermon, and pray for a bleſſing thereon yet had not liberty to preach it.

Alſo the following week wherein I was in wards, I had not my Book only I remember 1. That I was well contented with my condition. 2. Very cheerful and comfortable. 3. Had a greater mind to do good. 4. Free from temptation. 5. Reſolved to let the Lord himſelf bring me out in his time and way. 6. When I came out was ſtird up to praiſe the Lord, yet was not without temptations afterwards.

Some Leſſons that I hope I have learned, or gained more experience in ſince my impriſonment.

1. To be more ſober and ſerious in my carriage, and to ſhun and loath (more) jeſting, jearing and fooliſh laughter, vain ſpeaking, and unbeſeeming behaviour.

2. To prize ſecreſie, or being in ſecret for private Meditation, Self-examination and Prayer more then before.

3. I have gained more power againſt paſſion, and anger (beſides ſome other corruptions) and more moderation in diſcourſing with men of differing judgements.

4. A very great and earneſt deſire that there may be a general Union between the Saints of God, at leaſt a forbearance towards one and other, wherein they cannot agree.

5. And eſpecially a Heart really to pray for, and to pardon my worſt and greateſt Perſecutors.

p. 896. To juſtifie God willingly and fully in all that he hath done, and to acknowledge that it is not without cauſe nor ſo much as mine iniquityes have deſerved, God dealing with me under the Covenant of Grace and as a Father.

7. To look more at the good and gain I have received from the Lord in and by ſufferings, then at the time or nature of ſufferings.

8 To know, remember, confeſs, and bewaile many ſins which I was long ago guilty of.

9. To ſearch and find out many weakneſſes which I was guilty of in Preaching, perticularly levity, ſetting forth Self, and natural pa…ts too much.

10. To underſtan… divers Scriptures clearer, and better. I hope, then I did before.

11. To withdraw my eyes, ear and heart from tempting objects.

Being the Lords day, I was in the morning refreſhed p ivately and in the afternoon the Lord was pleaſed to meet with my condition, unexpectedly in two things, alſo I obſerved the ſpecial care of the Church to pleaſe Chriſt, and her fear to diſpleaſe him, mentioned three times Cant. 2.7. and 3.5 8.4.

This day from Iſa. 1. God poynted out two things to me (1) To ceaſe from ſin, ceaſe to do evil, verſe 16. (2) I will take away all thy …in, ver. 25. I alſo apprehended that the P…opheſy in that 2 chap. is not yet fulfilled, compare verſe 4.19 21. together, and thoſe words in verſe the 9 forgive them not, &c.

This day I had a ſtrong conviction of the ſin of reſiſting, or neglecting the motions of the ſpirit, and upon a temptation to give way to ſinful thinking, I found power to ſide with and imbrace the ſpirits motions rather then the other, I had a Letter from p. 90C. R. P. that refreſhed me.

I was obſerving that when the Lord doth intend to ſecure a perſon & preſerve it, he doth ſanctifi… & purge it, that from Iſa. 4.4.5. ye or when he doth intend to make uſe of a man, 2 Tim. 2.20.21. two other Scriptures I hope were l…d to my heart 2 Kings 10.9. But J…h… took no heed to walk in the Law of the God of …ſ…el withal h…s heart, but eſpe ially to take heed of ſin of treſpaſſing in affliction, more againſt the Lord 2 …n on. …8 22. two ſins I was likewiſe convinced of …m…pend ng time, and doing nothing extrao dinary for God, and having a very ſtreight dry h… …row… d God his cauſe, people and wayes.

This d…y …ing p…t of it ſpent in prayer, I found my heart ſo …e …hat affected (though often mo…e) & my ſoul was v…y deſi…o…s …o have power over my affections & … I obſerved from Iſa. the 5 5. That when God do…h take a… me cy he doth the ſame time give men up …o judgement b…t in th… 13 verſe of that Chap. there S n …xcellen… promiſe that when the Lord is exalted the lambs ſhall feed af er their manner, that S… in …e Phil. 1.29. For unto you it is given in the behalf of Chriſt (was I get to me) i. e. by grace from … his …ke to beleive and ſ…ffer, or on his behal i. e. fo… taking part with Chriſt ye ſuffer.

I was aſſaulted to the morning with temptations, yet after ſome di…tu…bance, had ſome freedome from them y… obſerved a ſeaſonable word from Iſa. 6.6.7. That as ſoon as h… Angel had taken the live coal from the Alta… and touched and laid it upon the Prophets mouth declared, that his iniquityes were taken aw…y and his ſin purged ſo God can eaſily and ſpeedil… …move …n from any other Saint.

This …ning having ſome p ovacation I found my …el… …e…dy p eſen ly to be mo…d it … againſt him that accuſed …e … p. 91towards my ſelf, alſo too much inclination to ſelf juſtification, ſuitable alſo in my courſe of reading, was that Scripture Iſa. 7.12. where Ahaz thinking at leaſt ſeemingly to avoid tempting God by asking a ſigne, run into another ſin, viz. diſobedience and Rebellion againſt God.

This day I had ſome full refreſhings from the Lord, and a fuller ſence of things upon my heart then ordinary.

This was a day of light affliction upon my body, of pain in my back which I ſuppoſed might have inc…eaſed, and heightned to a heavier diſtemper, but …he Lo…d removed it by his b…eſſing upon ſmall means. I was d…awn out in my ſpi it to p…aiſe God for it …as alſo to obſerve how the profits did take notice how the hand of the Lord was ſtretched out ſtill, Iſa. 9 12.17 …0.4 whence I would learn to obſ…ve the hand of God in affliction, alſo I took notice of two ſore evils in the people under affliction (1.) Not to return unto the Lord (2.) not to ſeek him in affliction yet two ſpecial promiſes chap. 10.20.21. That they ſhould ſtay upon the Lord, and return to the mighty God.

Thi… …ay being the Lords day, I had ſome real breathings of the ſpirit of the Lord in prayer, as I conceived alſo freedome from temptation, and a heart to praiſe God …or it in ſome degree. I was taken up with ſeveral thoughts, which often amuze me. (1.) Of the word Patience of God. (2.) of his ſpecial love, to me, rather then others (3.) of his infinite wiſdome and power in the reſurrection of man.

I had many obſervations as from Iſa. 11.3. that Chriſt a ſpirit of quick underſtanding, or ſcent, or ſmell, as tis in the margent, in the fear of the Lord, ſuch a ſpirit would I have; I was alſo ſtrong…y perſwaded p. 92that, that Chapter, was not yet fulfilled, alſo ſweet was that word to me Chap. 12.1. Though thou waſt angry with me, thine anger is turned away and thou comfortest me.

This morning I was troubled with ſinful thoughts and truly there are the ſins that trouble me moſt, but I found a hea…t to pray againſt them earneſtly.

But God brought a moſt ſweet word in a ſweet manner to me, viz. Ier. 13.19. Thou ſhalt call me thy father, and ſhall not turn from me, alſo another word in Chap. 5.10. Go up upon her walls, but make not a full end. …lſo from Iſa. 14.3. The Lord ſhall give thee reſt from thy ſorrow, and from thy fear, and from thy hard bondage and in the 30. verſe, the needy ſhall lye down in ſafety.

Some experiences recorded by him in a ſickneſs he had the 3. of the 3 month, 1658.

Iſay 28.9.

The writing of Hezekiah King of Ind. when he had been ſick, and recoverd of his ſickneſs.

1. VVHen the Lord was pleaſed to viſite me upon the ſuddain ſo ſharply that I thought li e was flying, and death ſeaſing upon me, God ſhewed me that all the world and creatures therein were all helpleſs.

2. Looking up to God with a weak faith, and in few words the Lo d was pleaſed to give ſome eaſe and releif by mitigating the pain.

3. Afterwards when I came towards my deſigned place, God ordered that ſome profeſſors ſhould meet with me, who ſhewed mercy both in bringing me into a houſe and giving notice to brethren.

4. That when I came to the houſe in extreamity p. 93of pain the Lord did give me ſome ſuddain and ſweet ſleep for 3 houres or more.

5. That both upon the way when I was ſcarce able to ſtand and in the houſe, when I was thirſty the Lord did enable me to deny my ſelf that I neither ſate down on the graſs, nor drank, both which would have been very hurtful.

6. That the Lord did move the hearts of the Brethren to come ſo willingly and expreſs ſo much affection to me.

7. That God moved my heart and ſtrengthned me to come home that night which proved advantagious.

8. That when the diſeaſe was at the higheſt and ſoreſt, the Lord was pleaſed in that ſtate to keep the eye of my mind directly upon himſelf.

9. That when I was much troubled about my Will, and was afraid the Lord would have taken me away before I had finiſhed it, God heard my weak ſenſleſs crying unto him and gave me much ſatisfaction when it was done.

The Lord did not let looſe any of my ſpiritual enemies, ſin, or Satan upon me.

The Lord ſupported me with his former fatherly dealings, and the ſuccors, comforts and experiences he had afforded in the like afflictions.

The Lord kept my ſpirit indifferent and unbyaſſed towards life or death, not deſiring the one more then the other, but willing that God ſhould chooſe for me.

The Lord ſhewed me things neerer th…n I ſaw them be…ore, and ſmaller things (as duties ſins, &c.) ſeemed greater to me then they had done.

I was helped by the Lord to bea… the affliction with that patience that I was ſo far from thinking it too heavy that I wondred it was ſo light.

p. 94I found a quicker diſcerning and a better taſte to try words then before, and to know who ſpoke and what was ſpoken diſcreetly, ſeaſonably and effectually.

That I had more ſence of other ſick and ſuffering Saints then I had before, eſpecially the poor and the rather becauſe I conſidered how they wanted the accommodations I had.

As I had no extraordinary diſcoveries of the Lord, ſo I had ſeveral ſmall and mediate expreſſions of his tenderneſs and kindneſs.

I had clearer knowledge and greater conviction of ſome ſins particularly.

1. Self which I found to cleave to me ever to the end.

2. Of Frowardneſs, which I ſaw to be an abhoring to the Lord, and it troubled me much to hear it in my Family.

3. Wordlineſs, eſpecially in having to do with worldly men.

4. Slothfulneſs in private duties.

5. Want of more care to ref…rm my Family.

6. Uſing too many words about earthly things with my Wife.

7. Uſing too much fleſhly wiſdom in my preaching, and too much time, wi…h too many words in my Sermons, and too many complements to Saints, offering Sacrifice or doing ſervice unto the Lord, when God would have me be receiving mercy from him, this God ſhewed me once when being weak I went to perform duly, I had comfort from the Lord.

1. From ſeveral Scriptures as Rom. 14 8. Philip. 1.21. Iob 33.26. Pſal. 71.3. Eſaiah 1.25 Ezek. 21.44 Prov. 1…. the laſt verſe, Iohn 16.14. Ioh. 17. Prov. 7. to 21.

p. 952. Gracious Anſwers of Prayer, and feeding upon promiſes.

3. From the Viſits and Prayers of the Saints.

4. That when I vvas to diſpoſe of the eſtate the Lo…d had given me, I did find I vvas more thoughtful hovv to do it to Gods glo…y then I vvas to get it.