Select Observations of Roman Emperors 2, Part 1 · Emperor 18
Choyce Observations OF COMMODVS.
HIS name agreed not with his disposition, he being called Commodus, who was (saith*l. 7. c. 6. Semper incommodus saith Vopiscus in vita Taciti. Orosius) cunctis incommodus.
Concerning his birth there passeth this story or fiction; His mother Annia Valeria Faustina, daughter of Antoninus Fius, and wife of Antoninus Philosophus, when she saw certain Gladiators or sword-players going to fight,Heywood in his various history of women. was monstrously inflamed with the love of one of them, upon whom she dored so extremely, that her affection was almost grown to phrensy, languishing wherewith, she confessed her love-madnesse to her husband. He perceiving her distemper to increase, consulted with the Chaldaeans or sooth-sayers, what was best to be done in so desperate a case, for the saving of his wives life, and the quenching of her unchast desires. They after long consideration determined, that there was left for her but one onelyonly remedy, as strange as the disease; viz, to cause the said Gladiator to be murdered secretly that she might not know of it, and that the next night that her husband intended to lye with her, a cup full of his luke-warm bloud *Casaubonus in Historiam Augustam.changed into the likeness of water should be given her to drink, ut sese *Nescia quis primus sublavaret hoc loco reposuit proe… quod v…tus editis & scripti codices habeb…nt, sublevaret. quam veram esse scripturam quovis pignore contendere sum paratus. Non dicit i…tem … sublevar…t se Faustina sanguine illius gladiatoris occisi. Quod de industria t…uit hic au…tor, & modestis …erhis m…llivit horrend…m m…ic…tionis genus. Non … cerie est, pro remedio sanguinem illum ebibisse Faustinam, atque ita se subleva…se, &c. Salmasius in Historiam Augustam. p. 91.sublevaret: which was performed accordingly, and she cured of her disease, but with this bad successe; for that night, as it is said, she was delivered of Commodus, who in qualities resembled that Gladiator upon this occasion, as some reported; which they ascribed to the power of her imagination, but others esteemed him a Bastard. Ferrand. of lovemelancholy out of Capitolinus in Antonino Philosopho c. 19. editionis Gruterianae.
The conject…re that Commodus was born in adultery, is confirmed by the behaviour of Faustina his mother at Cajeta, where she was wont want only to gaze on naked gladiators and mariners. Capitolinus ibid. Aurel. Victor.
When his mother was with child with him and his twin-brother Antoninus, who dyed when 4. months old, she dreamed that she brought forth two Serpents, one whereof, viz. Commodus, as the event proved, exceeded in fierceness. Lamoridius in Commodo. c. 1.
Commodus was more noble by descent then any of the former Emperours, and the most beautifull person of his time. Herodian. l. 1. in fine.
He was so excellent a marks-man, that he could hit with an arrow or dart whatsoever he aimed at, exceeding the most expert Parthian Archers, and Numidian Darters which he had about him. Herodian l. 1. c. 15. editionis Boeclerianae.
Once he shot forked arrowes at Moresco Estriches, which were wonderfull swift of foot, using their wings as sailes in running. These he did hit so full in the neck, that though their heads were struck off with the furiousnesse of the blow,foreign. yet they ran awhile headlesse, as if they had not been hurt. Id. ibid.Aliquandiu tamen viventibus similem cursum continuabant. ut Herodianum interpretatur Politianus.
Neque haec superant veri sidem, cum instrumentamotus, spiritus s…ilicet vitales, aliquandiu motum continuare possint, non exhausti uno temporis momento; quod colligunt medi…è motu cordis anguillae exsecti. Simile quid memini inter historias à nonnullis narratum, de quodam pyrata, qui interceptus cum suis sociis navalibus hoc unum suppliciter petiit, ut sociorum singuli vitae redonarentur, quos capite truncus cursu praeteriisset. Largitum hoc est supremis ejus votis: stans capite truncatur; cursum intendit, quem usque ad posiremos foreign continuasse…, nisi a carnifice ac l…ctoribus adstantibus in terram fuisset detractus. P. Voet. in Herodiani Marc. & Commod. p. 183. videsis Fromondum de Anima l. 1. c. 4. art. 3. p. 97. &c,
Another time a Panther having fastned upon a man, (who was brought into the lists) so that all thought she would instantly tear him in pieces; he darted at her so happily, that he killed the beast and saved the man,foreign. Herodian. l. 1. c. 15. preventing the impression of her teeth with the point of his weapon.
[Alcon seeing his son Phalerus (one of the Argonauts) sleeping on the grasse, and a Serpent creeping on his breast, slew the Serpent, and saved his son:
—Non sic libravit in hostem
Spicula, qui nato Serpentis corpore cincto
Plus timuit dum succurrit; dum jactibus iisdem
Interitum vitam que daret; stabilemque teneret
Corde tremente manum; totam que exiret in artē
Spe propiore metus; dans inter membra duorū
Vnius mortem.—
Sidonius Apollinaris in paneg. Majoriani. videsis Servium in fextam Virgilii Eclogam.]
He slew also 100. Lyons with so many darts;See Domitian p. 113. their bodies falling in such order, that they might easily be numbered (not one dart miscarrying.) Herodian ubi suprà.
He resembled his Father in nothing but fortunate fighting against the Germans, with whom notwithstanding he made a dishonourable peace.
He was faithfull to none;See Nero p. 68. and Domitian p. 114. &c. and most cruel to those whom he had before advanced to the greatest honours, and enriched with most vast rewards. Sextus Aurelius Victor.
He and Heliogabalus conferred all the dignities of the Empire upon men for lust and licentiousness most like unto themselves. Walsinghams Manuall.
He was the first Roman Emperour who through covetousnesse sold offices for mony; Vespasian had done it before him, but through necessity, finding the commonwealth in debt, and the treasure exhausted. The History of Spain translated by Grimston.
He killed some though innocent, instead of others who were guilty, and did let offenders escape for mony. Lampridius in Comm.
If any one had an enemy of whom he would be revenged, he needed but to bargain with Commodus for a summe of money to kill him. Id. ibid.
He pretended that he would go into Africa, that he might raise money for that feigned journey, which when he had gathered, he spent in banquetting and gaming. Id. ibid.
He was so careless in serious matters, that he wrote nothing more then Vale in many of his letters; and so serious in things of light or ill concernment, that he caused to be registred how often he frequented the fense-schoole, with all his cruelties and impurities. Id. ibid.
He employed not himself in any thing which became an Emperour; making glasses, dancing, singing, piping, playing the Buffoon and fencer; bathing 7. or 8. times in the day, eating in the Bath, drinking in the theatre in womans habit; mingling humane excrements with the daintiest fare, tasting them himself, thinking so to mock others. Id. ibid.
He kept 300. Concubines, and so many boyes which he used as women; like*Commod. Imperator, qui natus est eo die quo Caligula; tanquam eundem haberet horoscupum, & ipse sorores constupravit, concubinasque suas sub oculis suis constuprari ab amicis jubebat. Beroaldus in Suetenium. Caligulam habuit velut exemplar quod initaretur. Id. Ibid. Caligula commanded women to be ravished in his sight, committed incest as he did with all his Sisters, and exceeded him (saith Tristan) in polluting the Temples with whoredome and human bloud.
His naturall incontinence was incredibly inflamed by divers sorts of ointments (used by him to preserve himself from the pestilence, whilest it reigned throughout Italy) which were of so hot and subtile a quality, that they excited in him the unquenchable flames of extraordinary lasciviousnesse. Tristan.
He was so cruell, that when he was but 12. yeares old, because the bath in which he was washed was a little too warm,Lamprid. c. 1. he commanded that the heater of it should be cast into a furnace.
Dion confidently reporteth that the Physicians poysoned his Father to gratify him.
He put to death his Wife Crispina, his eldest sister Lucilla, and Annia Faustina his Fathers Cousin German, with 24. of the Eminentest Personages of the Roman Empire.
He commanded one to be cast to wild beasts,Lamprid. c. 10. for reading the life of Caligula in Suetonius, because he had the same birthday with Caligula.August. 31.
His very jests were cruell;Id ibid. seeing one have white haires among black ones, he set on his head a starling, which thinking it picked wormes made festers.
He cut a fat man off at the middle of the belly,Id. ibid. that he might see his entrailes drop out suddenly.
He called them Monopodii and Luscinii whom he deprived of a foot or eye.
He made men exercise that cruelty upon themselves in reality, which they used to act but in shew. Lamprid. c. 9.
He imitated Chirurgions in letting bloud,Xiphiline. and barbers in trimining, under which pretence he cut off eares and noses: wherefore such was his jealousy of all men,Lamprid. c. 17. that he was forced like Dionysius to be his own barber.
Histories not onelyonly affirm,Neronis insania Commodi turpitudini per omnes flagitil gradus foreign est: egregium sc. par, princeps histrie & gladiator. that he plaid the Gladiator in person, but his statue in that fashion stark naked, with his naked sword in his hand, is yet extant at Rome in the Farnesian palace.
He imitated Nero in driving of Chariots, and if Quintus Aemylius Laetus had not deterred him, he would have burned Rome (as Nero did) thinking he might do what he pleased with that place which he called after his name.Boecleru…. See Nero p. 75.
So exceeding great was the madness of this vile monster, that he sent a letter to the Senate with this style: Imperator Caesar Lucius, Aelius, Aurelius, Commodus, Antoninus, Augustus, Pius, Foelix, Sarmaticus, Germanicus Maximus, Britannicus, pacator orbis tevy rum, Invictus, Romanus Hercules, Pontisex Maximus, Tribunitiae potestatis, XVIII. Imperator, VIII. Consul, VII. Pater Patriae, Consulibus, Praetoribus, Tribunis Plebis, Senatui que * Commodiano soelici Salutem. Xiphilin.
The former Emperours at pleasure sometimes times took some few names to themselves, sometimes bestowed them on others. In the later times, vertue decaying, ambition in titles increased. Yet Iustinian accounted of as a sober Emperour, hath his style notwithstanding not much shorter. Imp. Caesar Flavius Justinianus, Alemannicus, Gothicus, Francicus, Germanicus, Anticus, Alanicus, Vandalicus, Africanus, Pius, Foelix, Inclytus victor, ac Triumphator semper Augustus. Sr. H. Savil on Tacitus.
He changed the names of all the moneths, calling them after his own sur-names, which was observed no longer then he lived.
He ever and anon changed all his surnames, except that of Amazonius, taken up out of love to Marcia his Concubine, whose picture he wore upon the outside of his garment; and of Exuperans, because he would have been thought to excell all men: as appeareth by his being sacrificed to as a God.
When his Favourite Perennis was dead, he repealed many things that were done by him, but persisted no above 30 dayes in his reformation, permitting Cleander to be more licencious then Perennis, Lamprid.
Yea to such drunken dotage he was grown, that he refused his fathers name, commanding himself in stead of Commodus the son of Marcus, Quid mirum si Commodus Hereulem se vocari voluit, cum id fecerit Alexander praeceptis imbutus Aristotelis?to be styled Hercules the son of Iupiter; and accordingly he forsook the Roman and Imperiall habit; and in stead thereof, thrust himself into a Lions skin, and carried a great club in his hand: and (which made him extremely ridiculous) he put on also purple Amazonian robes embroydered with gold;Athenaeus. expressing in one and the same garb austerity and effeminateness: this was his daily attire.
He commanded many Statues of himself made in likeness of Hercules, to be erected throughout the City, and one before the Senate-house in form of an archer ready to shoot; that his very Images might strike a terror into the beholdèrs. Herodian.
He ranged so far in a mad humour, as that he purposed to forsake his palace, and live in a fence-school; and now being weary of the name of Hercules, he assumed the name of a famous sword-player deceased.
On New-yeares day he determined in great solemnity to issue forth of a senceschool, from which Marcia, Laetus, and Electus disswaded him; but he incensed with them, commanded them to depart, and retiring into his bed-chamber, to repose himself at noon (as he was wont,) he wrote their names in a table-book, dooming them to death that night. Having done this, he laid his table-book on the pailet, not imagining that any would enter into his chamber.
But his darling Philo-Commodus being full of play,Multos praeterea paraverat interimere, quod per parvulum quendam proditum est, qui …abulam è cubiculo ejecit. Lamprid. videsis Gru…erum. went (as he usually did) into the bed-chamber (while Commodus was bathing) and taking the book to play with, went forth, and was met by Marcia; who took the book from him, lest he might spoil some weighty matter. As soon as she perceived it was Commodus his own hand, she greatly desired to read it. But when she found the deadly contents, she discovered to Electus and Laetus the danger they were in, and they all resolved to purchase their own security by Commodus his death, and concluded it most convenient to dispatch him by poyson; which Marcia having given to him, it cast him into a slumber, out of which awaking he vomited extremely: the conspirators fearing fulnesse might expell the poyson, cause him to be strangled.
He lived 31. yeares, 4. moneths, and reigned 12. yeares, 9. moneths and 14. dayes. In him the Aelian together with the Aurelian family was extinguished, as the Iulian in Nero. Tristan.
How joyfull his death was both to Senate and people, their assemblies in the Temples to give thanks for their deliverance, and their execrations pronounced against him, at large reported by Lampridius, do manifest.
He was called the enemy of God and men; the very name of the Devil.
The Christians escaped persecution from him by the mediation of Marcia, who favoured their doctrine. Dion.
Of all Emperours until Constantine he was most favourable unto Christians, whatsoever he was otherwise. Mountague's Acts and Monuments of the Church. c. 7. paragr. 115.
In respect of much persecution before, those times were called Halcyonia sub Commodo Ecclesiae. Lloid's consent of time, p. 599.
Commodus insequitur, pugnis maculosus arenae;
Threicio princeps bella movens gladio.
Eliso tandem persolvens gutture poenas,
Criminibus fassus matris adulterium.
Ausonius.