Death Made Comfortable, Directions
DIRECTIONS FOR AN Holy and Happy Death, In very Particular, but Brief instructions, how to order and carry our Selves, under Sickness and the Several Tryals and Accidents thereof, and at the Approach of Death.
CHAP. I.
Of the Sick mans thoughts of leaving the World, and setting his Affairs in Order: and of the care of his Body.
WHen God arrests us with Sickness, 'tis time to think of leaving this World. Not that every Man who falls Sick, must presently give himself up for Dead: but because Sickness puts Life in hazard, and brings a Man to Resign himself into the Hands of God, whether he shall dye thereof or no.
To think of leaving the World, is not only profitable, but needful at all times. For the Great Business we have to do here, is to prepare for an happy Departure. And if we do not think of it, we are like to be very ill prepared for it. In our dayes of Health and Pleasure, we must call these thoughts to us; but when Sickness comes, it calls us to them, and Naturally imprints the same. And it is our truest wisdom, to entertain them in our Sickness. For if we dye, we shall all judge it was the best way we had to employ our thoughts; and that of all things, Death should not be met unthought of. And they render us fitter to Live, if God spare us. They make Death Safer, but do not hasten or bring it sooner; and are no hindrance to our Living longer, but a great help if we recover to our Living better.
In this Preparation to leave the World, the Sick Persons first care, is to seperate himself from worldly cares and incumbrances of Business. Let him look upon himself, as one call'd off from the conduct of these matters, to the giving a strict account of …m. And who has work enough cut out for his thoughts and prepare to take a decent leave of this World, and to†Mat. 25. 7. trim up his Lamp and … his Soul for a better. His business now is, how to meet Death with most safety and comfort to himself, if he dyes, as for ought he knows he may dye of this Sickness; and to commit no Errors therein, because he is to dye, but once, and cannot afterwards amend them. The work and worldly Cares of Life, are to be left to those who think of living; but how to dye is the Business that lyes before him.
To cast off these worldly Cares, 'tis fit he first settle them. And that is by setting his House in order, and making his …ill.
This, methinks, should be done with great consideration, and Men are wanting in that Prudence and Care, which they usually shew in their affairs thro all their Lives, if this is left to be clapt up in haste at their Deaths. When they dispose of a little parcel of Land, or of a moderate sum of money, they consider well of it before they part with it. And if they are thus considerate, when they dispose of any single Branch of their Estate, must that be left to be the only hasty and unconsidered act, when they are to dispose of all?
When a Person has his Worldly Estate to give away, it will take much thought to do it like a wise Man, and a good Christian. To consider, what Portions are fit to be given to Dependants, as Recompence of Diligence and good Services. What to Benefactors, as respectful tokens of Gratitude, for Favours and obligations. What to particular Friends and acquaintance, as Memorials of Love and Dearness. What among Kindred, in Declaration of natural Affection, for their nearness, their deserts, or their wants. And what to himself, for so I more especially call that which is given to Religious or Pious uses, since these works follow him, and these layings out go along with him, to be recompenced and repaid in a better place. Such as are, all gifts of Restitution, when he had wrong'd or defrauded any Persons; of equitable compensation, where he has taken too great advantage of other Peoples wants or weakness, and been too hard upon them, and made too great advantage of them, in Bargaining or Dealing; of Charity or Piety, in Gifts or Settlements on the Poor and Needy, or for the encouragement and promotion of piety. To settle Accounts in Dealing, what he ows, or what is owing unto him; what he has in his hands in trust for others, and what he has left in their hands, or in trust with them.
For this disposal, he must remember, is the Farewel he takes of all the World. And when he is parting, with Kindred and Relations, Friends and Benefactors, Servants and Dependants, Chapmen and Customers, Poor and Rich, Sacred and Secular Persons; a Wise and Good Man, who has carryed it well towards them all his Life, should think of continuing to do the same, and supplying of former Defects, at his Death, and study to take a fair, and Friendly, and decent leave of all. Especially to carry it as becomes him towards God, and in this great disposal of all his Goods, to look at him the Soveraign Donor of them.
And to do all this with discretion, and to a Man's satisfaction, will require consideration. And therefore is like to be best dispatch'd, whilst the Person hath both Ability and Leisure for it. And accordingly is always most providently, and is like to be most perfectly settled, in time of Health: However in the beginnings of Sickness, e're Nature is weak, and Time is short, or a Disease is come to Extremities.
When all his Worldly cares and concerns are thus settled and laid aside, having taken this leave of the World, he may give himself up to the Will and good Pleasure of Almighty God, to dispose of him either in Life or Death, and make his Sickness end either in Health or Heaven, as he sees will make most for the Sickmans good and for his own Glory.
If the Physitians are called in to take care of his Body, 'tis fit he receive their advice with meekness and thankfulness, and willingly follow and submit himself to their wholesome and Reasonable Directions. A Prudent and Compassionate Physitian, will be tenderly and conscientiously careful of his ease, so far as that is consistent with the Care of his Health. Especially he will consider well, how he proposes, and much more how he presses any Medicine, which the Patient has an Antipathy against, and which is found greatly to disorder him, tho' it generally relieve others. And when he sends for him, he must put his Body into his Hands under God, and willingly take such Medicines, and submit to such Rules and Restraints, as he Judges needful for his Safety, or for the Recovery of his Health: and not order and tell his Physitian what he shall prescribe to him, nor weary him out with importunities to let him have what he himself fancies, tho' the other thinks it would be to his prejudice.
And these prescriptions of the Physitian he must use, with looking up to God in the first place, for the good effect of all Medicines; and without fretfulness and accusations of the means and methods, if, by the pleasure of God, the Disease increase and grow more troublesom in spight of all Remedies; and without being too eagerly desirous of Life or ease, unless God please; thanking his Physitian for the ease which he studies, but at the same time submitting to God for the Pains which he sends.
And let him still remember, to make fervent Prayers one ingredient in all his Medicines, considering, that since it is God who works cures, Prayers are as necessary thereto as any thing else. He must not like Asa,†2 Cron. 16. 12. set God a side when he seeks to the Physitians; but expect all the Cure from Gods blessing, and when it comes, give him the chief Honour and Praise for the same, and acknowledge that the Prayers of pious Friends have been among the powerfullest of his Medicines.
If it be thought needful or profitable for the body some times at intervals, especially in slow and languishing diseases, to divert his spirits, let it not be by reading Plays or Romances, or foolish and undue Ideas of Love and Honour, which feed or revive vain thoughts; nor by Play or other things, fit to excite Passion, or exercise Covetousness: but in pastimes of least lightness, and fewest temptations, and used with moderation, remembring that on a sickbed, when a mans time is almost spent, 'tis not for him to cast about how to pass away his time, but how to redeem and improve it.
Let the reading which is read to him, and the conversation which is held with him, be suitable to one in his condition. Not light, to lessen his seriousness; nor in any thing vicious, uttering things either against Modesty, or against Piety, or against Justice, or against Charity: All which may either leave ill impressions upon him, by giving his spirit a tincture of the same; or bring him into a snare, by thinking that he has been wanting in reproof thereof, out of too little respect to God, and too much to the speakers; by either of which, he is the worse for them.
But let all that passes be fit, to suit the seriousness, and preserve the innocence, and help on some virtues, but hinder none, that are befitting a Person in his condition: Whereof I shall say more in the ensuing directions.
CHAP. II.
Of settling his Accounts, and securing his Peace with God, by Repentance, Faith, and Continuance in the Vnity of the Church.
BUT whilst this care is taken for the Body, the chief thing which he has to employ himself in on his Sick-bed after the settlement of his Worldly Estate, is to take care of his Soul. This must exercise his own thoughts, when he is by himself. And for this, he must call in the assistance of the guides of Souls,†…am. 5. 14. Sending for the Elders of the Church that they may Pray over him, and assist and Comfort him by words spoken in their due Season, and Administer to him the Word, and the benefit of Absolution, and the Holy Communion, resolving and assisting him in all things, that may be needful for the finishing of his Repentance, the support of his Spirit, or the Peace of his Conscience.
And in this Care of his Soul, these things are chiefly to employ his own thoughts, or his Guides assistance.
1. To settle his Account, and secure his Peace with Almighty God. And in care of this, let his work be,
1. To finish his Repentance. And in order thereto, let him carefully review all his past life, and the present frame and habit of his Mind. And let him diligently observe what is good in either, and with all Humility thank God for it, and take comfort in it; and what is amiss in both, and work himself up into true contrition for the same, affectionately bewailing his extream folly and unworthiness therein.
And let him fix, holy, deliberate, and unreserved purposes against all his former Offences.
And make all due and reasonable satisfaction, for all Wrongs done by him to any Persons, by any ways.
And take care of the payment of all his just Debts.
And seek Reconciliation where he has given any just Offence.
And forgive those who have injured or disobliged him.
And†Dan. 4. 27. break off his Iniquity by Righteousness, or by being more abundant in Alms-Deeds; and consummate and finish any good designs, which he had piously laid in his Health, and would not lose the reward thereof, by having them dropt at his Death.
And in these ways of expiating Sins, let him earnestly begg God's Pardon, and comfortably hope for the same, through the Merits of Jesus Christ.
And in the care of paying his Debts, and making Restitution, or giving Charitable or Pious Gifts, if he can, let him settle and finish them himself before his own Death; and not refer all to a Will, and leave the accomplishment and recompence of so rewardable purposes, to the contingencies of time, and the Fidelity, Kindness, or care of Executors. Sometimes, indeed, the Surprize of Dying Persons is so great, that they must leave these things to others. And sometimes the Persons intrusted, are fit to serve the Dying Persons ends, and really do serve them, to advantage. But this is not ordinarily to be trusted to, if he can help it. For why should he think they will make more dispatch, or find fewer delays and put offs in doing these things for him, than he did in doing them for himself? He has a quicker sense of his own burdens, and of his own desires and longings, than another ordinarily can, or will have: and if for all that, he shall delay to disburden his own Soul, and consummate his own desires and purposes when he may, why may not they do so too?
And on this point let him often say,
†Ps. 5…. 2, …, 17.A broken and a contrite Heart, Lord, thou wilt not despise.
I acknowledge my transgressions, and my Sins are ever before me.
Wash me throughly from mine iniquities, and cleanse me from my Sins, Amen.
†Luke 18. 13Lord, be merciful to me a Sinner, Amen.
Oh let†1. Jo. 1. 7. the Blood of Iesus, cleanse me from all my Sins, Amen.
Lord,†…uke, 15. 18. 19. I have Sinned against Heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy Son; make me as one of thy hired Servants, Amen.
†Mat. 6. 12.Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that Trespass against us, Amen.
2. To shew forth his Faith, which he may do by often repeating his Creed.
I believe in thee, O God! the Father Almighty, and that thou art the maker of Heaven and Earth.
And I believe in thee, O Jesu Christ! that thou art Gods only Son, and our Lord. I believe that thou wast conceived by the Holy Ghost, and born of the Virgin mary. That thou didst Suffer under Pontius Pilate, wast Crucified, Dead and Buryed, and descendest into Hell. That thou dist rise again the third day from the Dead. That thou didst ascend into Heaven and there now sittest at the Right Hand of God. And that from thence, thou shalt come again to Judge both the Quick and the Dead.
I believe in thee, also, O! Holy Ghost.
I likewise believe, that my Blessed Saviour had, and hath, and whilst the World lasts ever will have on Earth, an Holy Catholick Church. And that in this Church, there is to be a Communion of Saints. I believe also, that therein is to be had Remission of Sins. And after Death, I believe there shall be a Resurrection of the Body both for good and bad, and a Life Everlasting for the Righteous, Amen.
And let him often say,
†Ma…. … 24.Lord, I Believe, Help thou mine unbelief, Amen.
*Luk. 17. 5.Lord, increase my Faith, Amen.
All this, O! Lord, I stedfasty believe, Oh! keep me from having my†… Portion among unbelievers, Amen.
Lord, I thank thee, that I have been instructed in this Belief, and Professed it in my Life, Amen.
Lord, keep me from wavering, or any ways doubting of the same in my weakness, Amen.
Lord, give me the comfort of this belief at my death, and make me find the Blessing of it after death Amen.
And if the Adversary shall suggest doubts and suspicions to him in his weakness, about any of the Articles of his Faith, or points of Religion; so far as the doubt comes with any offer of Argument or Reason with it, it should have a Rational Satisfaction.
But, if formerly they have been persons of sincere Consciences, in that State, their doubts of these things are much oftner an irresoluteness owing to their present bodily weakness and Satans Suggestions, than an unsettlement of Belief owing to Arguments. And then, these new doubts and suspicions are to be looked on by the Sick Man, rather as Temptations, and an advantage taken of his present feebleness and lowness of Spirit, which may raise or encrease Melancholly that is naturally apt to make one mistrustful and irresolute, and he will guard better against them by Devotion, than by Disputation. And therefore in this case, let him not debate them, but reject them, and pray against them. And think it reasonable to abide by his former perswasions about these matters, which he took up in time of Health and Strength, when he had both ability, and leisure to examine them; and not exchange them for Sick-bed Fancys, when he has neither.
3. To Profess his Continuance in the Vnity of the Church, and that as he has lived, so now by Gods Grace he is preparing himself to Dye, in the Communion thereof.
And let him often say,
Lord, as I have endeavoured to live, so now I profess to Dye in the Communion of Saints, and in the †Eph. 4. 3, 4.one Body, whereof thou art the Plessed Head, keeping therein to the last, the Vnity of the Spirit, and the Bond of Peace, Amen.
For I profess thy true Faith, O! my God, and present unto thee Holy Prayers, and a Pure Worship, in the Unity and Communion of thy Holy Church.
Particularly, O! Lord, I profess this Faith, and present this Worship, in due adherence, and subjection and obedience, to those Ordox Pastors, whom thou hast set over me in this Church, where I live.
And I profess and present the same, in Hearty concurrence and Communion, with all other Faithful Christians and Communicating Members of this Body, in all other Times, and Places; and with Brotherly Affection, Concern, and Intercession with thee for them wheresoever placed or dispersed, as well as for my self.
I am most ready to receive and joyn with them in these professions, and in this worship, whensoever thy Providence shall bring us together. To seek their Communion, passing through all places. And to own them as my Brethren, coming from all Countries. And to be heartily affected with what befalls them, either Particular Persons, or whole Churches, and rejoyce in their Prosperity and Peace, as†1 Cor. 12. 26. one member should in the joy of another, Amen.
And as for those, who are broken off from this true Faith and Worship, or from the Unity and Peace of thy Church, Lord, I look upon them with the Bowels of a Brother, not with the Insults and Triumphs of an Enemy.
I pity all Hereticks, and pray that they may return to be sound in the Faith.
I pity all Schismaticks, and pray that they may return to the Unity, and Communion of thy Church.
And, O! Blessed Lord, do thou give unto them, humble and teachable minds, that so they may either all see the way of thy truth, or at least that numbers among those who do not, may be pitiable and excusable before thee, under their Error and mistake of it, Amen.
And as for all the divisions, which have rent thy Church into pieces, O! Blessed Jesu, I do most heartily lament, and bewail them.
My Heart, O! Prince of Peace, is with them, who love to see those Truths that make for Peace, and who long and labor to heal thy Churches Breaches.
I utterly disclaim all bitter Zeal, and cruel and Unchristian violence, against Persons of different Parties from me.
I am ready, both willingly to see and joyfully to own, all that is good, and all that is thine, O! my dear Lord, in any of their Persons, or Actings: And am Religiously careful, not to make any of them worse than they really are, by my evil Surmizes; but to hope and surmize the best of them, which their case and carriage can reasonably bear.
And I am, and through thy Grace, O! Merciful Saviour, ever will be ready, to shew them all Offices of Justice, and Humanity, and of common Charity, notwithstanding their Communion is different from mine, Amen.
And after these things are done, to procure God's Peace, for the quieting and comforting his Conscience with the lively hopes thereof, he may receive the benefit of Absolution. And also the Holy Communion, which he must not omit if he can have it, looking on it, both as God's own sure Seal of Remission of his Sins; and also as his own†The Great Council of Nice calls it foreign the most necessary Viaiticum of Dying Men. …an. 13. Viaticum or Provision by the way, to strengthen and support his Spirit, and keep him from faintness, or failures through all the remainder of his difficult and wearisome passage to the Regions of Rest and Peace.
And for more particular Directions, how to make tryal and discovery of the Safety of his Spiritual Estate before he puts it upon the final Issue, if he is desirous thereof, I refer him to the Tryal or Iudgement of the Soul, in the Companion for the Penitent, where I have given him an account and Prospect of this, as full, and yet as short, as I could; and which it would be too long here to insert. And there also he may meet with variety of fitting forms, to instruct him in all the parts of his Repentance, and to serve him in makeing a Religious and devout Profession thereof to Almighty God.
CHAP. III.
Of his Carriage and Demeanour under his Sickness, and the Virtues thereof, viz. Trust in God, Resignation, Thankfullness.
AFter the Sick Person has taken this first and chief care for his Soul, to make its peace for past or present Offences; his next care for it must be, to keep it from falling into any new Diseases, or that under the burden of a Sick Body, his Soul do not fall Sick too. As it will do, if it grows secure and careless of Duty, or regardless of Mercies, or is greedy of Life, and finds no relish in Prayers, or in discourses of another World, and falls into impatience, and is fretted with fleshly cares, and worldly desires: all which, and the like, show his Spirit to be more distempered, and more dangerously ill, than his Body is.
To prevent this, his next care for his Soul, must be to order his Carriage well under his Sickness, or to bear the pains and weakness of his Sick bed, with Trust in God, with Resignation to his will, with Thankfulness, and with Patience to the end. Which Duties, tho' they are all necessary under the former Head, viz. of making of his Peace; yet I shall now consider and treat of them, as they are necessary and of greatest use, to support his Spirit, and recommend his Carriage.
First, he must set himself to bear them, with Trust in God. The accidents and uneasiness of his Sickness, will still alarm his fears, and try his Faith; and it must be his care, to shew no anxious or distracted thoughts under them. But as often as any accidents or prospects terrifie him, let him remember, that they are all in God's Hands, and shall have such end only as he pleases. That he who sends them, will take care they go no further than 'tis fit they should, and will turn them to the best at last. That he is Safer and better in God's keeping and ordering, than he could be in his own; and therefore may lay aside all painful and mistrustful cares for himself, as knowing under all that happens how sure he is to be taken care of.
Devout Thoughts, about trusting God in Sickness.
1. About trusting him with ones self.
AND when he feels much Sorrow and many Difficulties, and may fear and foresee worse, let him often say,
Lord, I meekly receive all my Sorrows and dangers, because thou sendest them.
And they shall not terrifie me, because thou governest them.
And I am sure thou considerest all that lyes upon me, and wilt turn it unto good.
That thou considerest how much I can bear, and wilt in tender mercy take off the rest.
That thou considerest what strength I have to bear, and wilt graciously supply me with what is wanting.
That thou considerest how long I can bear, and wilt give me ease at the fittest Season.
And since thou wilt ease me in thy due time, and support me till thou easest me, I will not†Heb. 12. 3. grow weary, O! my Dear Lord, or faint in my mind, but wait with patience till my ease comes, Amen.
Tho' I walk through the Valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me, and thy Rod and thy Staff they comfort me, Ps. 23. 4.
Yea,†Joh. 13. 15. though thou killest me, yet will I trust in thee, and have hope even in my Death to find everlasting Rest and Joy after Death, Amen.
Because I live, ye shall live also. Joh. 14. 19.
I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the later day upon the Earth.
And though after my Skin, Worms destroy this Body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.
Whom I shall see for myself, and mine Eyes shall behold and not another. Job. 19. 25, 26, 27.
2. About trusting him, with ones nearest Relations, or Dear Children, Friends, or Dependants.
IF it troubles him to leave his Friends or Family, perhaps meanly provided for, (or any good designs unfinished which his heart has been much set upon,) let him consider, that God sees this, as well as he, and yet he thinks fit to call him away from them. And this may make it plain to him, that God himself, who is more wisely careful for them than he can be, has a mind to be trusted with them. And therefore let him reckon to set them all safe, by recommending them to him.John 17. As our departing Lord † provided for his disconsolate and destitute Disciples, by recommending them to his Heavenly Father, and praying to him for them.
And let him remember also, that this is truly to leave all to come to God, if we can find in our Heart to go forth readily, when all these call upon us to stay.
And let him often say,
I Trust thee, O! God, as with my self, so with my nearest Relations, my Wife and Family [or Children] and with my Friends, and with all that depend on me.
I trust them with thee, O! Lord, for they are more thine, than they are mine.
I trust them with thee in full assurance, that there is no way to make them happy and safe, like putting them into thy Hands.
I trust them to thee, because thou art the Husband of the Widdow, and the Father of the Fatherless, and hast promised to take care of them.
I have always trusted them with thee whilst I was with them, and have ever found thy tender love and care of them. So that my own experience, as well as thy sure promises, may engage me to trust and commit them to thee, now I may seem to be going from them.
And though I know not what they will do, or how they will be cared for when I am gone, yet I know thou doest, and wilt order all things kindly both for me and them.
I leave them not destitute, for thou art with them; and thy care, O! my Dear God, is the best Guardian, and thy Blessing is the Richest Portion.
And thou wilt have infinitely a more watchful care of them, and canst do infinitely more for them, than I can.
Lord, take care of them, for I commit them to thy care.
Yea, even †1 Pet. 5. 7.all my cares for them, I cast on thee.
Oh! let them always have the special care and Providence, which thou takest of the Widdows and Orphans.
Let them have the Blessing, which by thine abundant mercy follows the Children of those that truly fear thee.
Lord, be with them, as thou hast been with me, to their lives end. And keep them always most thankful, and Obedient unto thee. And let them all have the Blessing of thy tender care at present, and of thy Peace at the last, Amen.
When my Father and Mother forsake me, then the Lord taketh me up. Ps. 27. 10.
Leave thy Fatherless Children, I will preserve them alive, and let thy Widdows trust in me. Jer. 49. 11.
In God the Fatherless findeth mercy, Hos. 14. 3.
The Generation of the upright shall be Blessed, Amen. Psal. 112. 2.
Secondly, he must set himself to bear them, with Resignation of himself to the Will of God. And this will be easy after the former. For there is no difficulty in giving up our selves to God, if we dare trust him. And we shall not only be contented, but desirous to quit our own Wills for his, if we are perswaded that his is better for us, and that our true Interest and happiness is safelier lodged, and may be infinitely better trusted, with him, than with our selves. And if we have no will to be under what he orders, 'tis a plain sign that we do not apprehend our selves safe in his, but think we should be better in our own Hands.
Let the Sick man therefore amidst all his pains and perils, freely give up himself into Gods Hands, and be glad and thankful that he can lodg himself there. And let him often say,
Lord, I know I am in thy Hands, and that I cannot be in better, nor do I desire to be in any other. Especially not in my own, nor to be the carver of my own condition.†Luk. 22. 42. Not my will, O! God, but thine be done, Amen.
And do thou allot for me, Life or Death, Health or Sickness, removeal or continuance of my Sorrows, as thou seest would really be fittest for me and f…r thy Glory, not as my mistaken fancy may think to be so, Amen.
Thy Will be done, O! my God, for it is always a most Blessed and Beneficial Will, to those that fear thee. It sends Mercies at the fittest time, and sends troubles when they have most need of them, and takes them off again when tis fittest to remove them.
If it causes present Sorrow and Smart, it is to do them good; and if they do not see how it should turn to their good, yet thou doest, and wilt make them see it too in the end.
Our Wills, O! Father, are too often guided by Folly; but thine is always, and altogether wise, and has ever been most gracious and full of mercy towards me.
Thou knowest best, O! Lord, when it was fit for me to come into this World, and when it is fit for me to leave it, and what part is fittest for me to bear whilst I stay therein. O! do thou appoint me, how, or in what condition I shall live, and how long: but withall help me to do thy work whilst I live.
Chuse thou my condition, and let my Lot be what may please thee: but then give me Grace, faithfully and wisely to discharge the duties of that condition, and let my carriage under it be such as may please thee too, Amen.
Lord, I am not only contented, but glad to be at thy choice. I pray thee, that I may always be what thou pleasest, and that I my self may always be pleased with it.
I desire also, O! Father, what seems good and pleasing unto me. Yea, when my pains and Distresses are extream, I desire it earnestly. But when I desire it, I do not prescribe unto thee, but beg that thou wouldst order therein, not what my weakness wishes, unless thy wisdom also sees it fitting. And I know, O! Lord, that thou art ready to grant my desires, if they be really for my good, and thy Glory, and agree with the wise ends of thy Providence: and I press them no longer, if thou seest they are otherwise, Amen.
It is the Lord, let him do what seemeth him good. 1 Sam. 3. 18.
If it be possible let this Cup pass from me, nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
And if it may not pass from me, except I drink it, thy will be done. Mat. 26. 39, 42.
Even in inflicting evil upon me, thou art kind still, and art doing me good against my will, Amen.
Thirdly, he must set himself to bear his sick bed Sorrows, with Thankfulness. We must not think it strange, or that things are strained too high, when we are called upon to be thankful under Sickness, or other Afflictions. For the difference, between thankful, and unthankful or complaining Natures, lyes more in their Spirits, than in their outward circumstances. A thanful, Spirit, will find enough to give God thanks for, on a Sick-bed or in any affliction. And an unthankful Spirit, will never want matter enough to complain of, in a better condition. And if any afflicted or Sick persons, are unthankful, it is not because they want Mercy's good store, which deserve their thanks, but because they overlook them.
This Virtue of thankfulness to God, as it is one of the most necessary Duty's, so is it one of the liveliest Beauties, and brightest ornaments of a Sick-bed. For it speaks true Humility, when we shew, as we do thereby, that the least Mercy's deserve our thanks, and that the worst States, which God puts us into, are too good for us. And it expresses intire good will and Love to God, when we can love and praise him even whilst he corrects and smites us, and take notice of all his Kindnesses in the midst of our afflictions, and place an Implicit belief and confidence in his Love, that by all these Sorrows he is doing us good, and deserves our thanks, tho' in our weak reason we are not able to see the good which is to accrue to us thereby.
And to preserve in himself this excellent virtue of thankfulness to God, let the Sick person set himself thro all the course and contingencies of his Sickness, Diligently to mark and seek out, what may deserve his thanks, and not, as is too often done, what may minister to complaints. Let him pick out of every thing, and out of every accident that befalls him, what he may speak well of God for; and let those be the things, which he reflects on within himself, and discourses of to others. And under any pain or weakness, let him often say.
Lord, under all my Sorrows, I have nothing to accuse, but much to give thee thanks for.
I suffer less, yea, infinitely less, than I deserve; Blessed be thy mercy for spareing me. Amen.
My Sufferings. O! Lord, are not only Justly deserved, but they are needful also to do me good, and such as thou wilt turn to good; Blessed by thy name, for seeking and compassing my benefit thereby. Amen.
And when my Ailments come, they want many aggravations, which would make them a great deal worse to be born. And are attended with many seasonable helps and comforts, to ease and strengthen my Spirit under them.
My evils are tolerable evils; Blessed be thy Pity and Tenderness, for considering, not what I should Suffer, but what I can bear to suffer. Amen.
Sometimes, O! Lord, by thy Grace I have ease, and relish worldly comforts.
Sometimes I take sweet sleep, and rest from my Pains and Labours, and awake with great refreshment.
And under all my pains and weakness, by thy mercy I have some to Help me, and more to Pity and Pray for me. I find support, and thou still seasonably refreshest my Spirit, from within or from without. Blessed be thy name, for these Helps and Comforts under my Distress. Amen.
Thou often Moderatest and mitigatest my pains; and then, tho' they are a long trouble, they are a tolerable one.
Or, if one Symptom rages, that is sometimes made a step, to the ease, or to the Prevention of a worse.
Or, if it is smart, it is not lasting, but in waiting a little longer for thee, I still have ease in thy due Time.
Blessed be thy Goodness, O Father, which is pleased thus to†Ps. 41. 3. make my Bed in my Sickness. Amen.
And however, if I have less ease, and more sorrows now at present, yet, O! my God, I have the Blessed Hopes of Rest and Joy to come. And I can never Bless thee enough for the Comforts of Hope, that after a Patient and Short endurance of my Portion of Evil things here, I shall be taken to the everlasting Happiness of thy Heavenly Kingdom. Amen.
Moreover, O! Lord, I receive my Bodily Sorrows, as Medicines to my Soul, to cure my Spirit, and call me back to thee when I have gone astray.
I Bless thee, for all the lowly thoughts they give me of my self, and for all the discovery which I make of my own Errors thereby. Amen.
And for all the Prostration both of mind and body, which they put me upon showing towards thee, and for all the dependance which I learn thence to place on thy mercy. Amen.
And for their taking off my Fondness, from all earthly delights, and making me Cease to be in love with Vanity. Amen.
And for their lifting up my Heart to Heavenly things, and to all the ways of preparing my Soul for thine everlasting mercy. Amen.
And if I want Health, and the Relish of worldly comforts now, I owe thee infinite thanks, O! Lord, for all the time I enjoy'd them formerly, tho' all that time I had deserved to lose them.
If I am deprived of some mercies, yet many, and most Thankworthy, are those which I still enjoy.
If I would declare and speak of thy mercies to me, they are more than can be numbred. Ps. 40. 5.
The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away, Blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1. 21.
And let the Sick Person Persevere, in this trust and confidence in God, and in this Resignation and thankfulness of Spirit, amidst all his Sorrows. Let him keep his Soul always set out in these dresses, and express them on all occasions, to God and to his Friends. For they are the liveliest ingredients, and the Clearest Beauty and Grace,
4ly. Of the Fourth Virtue wherewith he is to bear his Sorrows, viz. Patience, which he is to exercise thro' the whole course of his Sickness, and which is next to be treated of.
CHAP. IV.
Of Patience under Sickness. With other Directions to the Sick Person, for spending his Sick-bed Ho…s, and to his Friends for their Ministring to him.
THE whole cou…se of a Sick-bed, is a tryal of Patience. And when 'tis tryed thereon, we must give good proof thereof, or else we can never act our Part tolerably, nor approve our Selves.
And if we have the forementioned virtues, we shall have Patience. For if we dare trust God, our Fears of Pain, or other evil accidents, will not make us unquiet. If our wills are resigned to his, we shall not be unwilling to bear what he sends, but meet our Sorrows with humble and contented Submission, instead of angry and uneasie Repining. If we are thankful to him under our Sickness, we shall bless him for what we have, and not discontentedly complain for what we want; and thank him because he once gave, instead of accusing him, because now he has taken away.
And therefore when God calls any Person to be Sick, let him look on Patience, as the Proper virtue of his State, and make it his care at every turn to arm his Soul with it.
Let him set himself to Bear his Pains and weakness, with gravity and Composedness, keeping back from all Passionate, and from all light and vain words.
And to bear all, out of Submission and Resignation to the Will of God, quietly Suffering because he sends them.
And let him remember always, to humble himself under the hand that Smites him, and own 'tis just.
And to kiss the Rod, and confess 'tis for his good.
And to receive the Strokes with quietness, and suffer without striving, and bear them without uneasie complaints of them, and wait on God without fainting, and not sink under his Load, but support and stay himself upon God, till his time comes to send ease.
He must not shew anger and uneasiness with his Disease or with his Medicines, with his food, or with his Attendance.
Nor fall to feign reasons of taking things ill, where really there are none; nor aggravate them, where there are; nor be hasty in his Suspicions or Censures, of things made for him, or of persons concerned with him, and thereby grow anxious, and Angry, and troublesome to himself and others.
Nor Expose himself, or Scandalize the By-standers, by making Burdens, which are not too heavy to be born at present, intolerable to himself, by Pusilanimous Despondency, or Anxious fears and mistrusts, of what they will be in a little time.
Indeed, his Bodily weakness and uneasiness, may many times excuse his forgetfulness and Surprizes in these Points, both to God and men, if afterwards he shews himself sensible of them, and Sorry for them, and doth not indulge them. But he must not give way, or lay himself open to them, and much less justifie them, or hope to remove the Gui…t and Blame of these Sins from off his Soul, and lay them upon the Distemper of his Body.
And instead of blaming and aggravating, the Heaviness of his Disease, or the Negligence of his attendance, or Gods Orderings, let him fall to blame his own impatience, and to tax his own folly, which had not learnt before to expect such crosses as now Disquiet him, and prepared to bear them.
As for Restlessness of Body, and frequent changes of Place or Posture, and turning from side to side, and Sighs, and Groans, and other unquietness of Body, without any Disturbance of Spirit, they are not to be accounted I conceive for Acts of impatience, and if they can divert the Pains of sick Persons, or give ease to their Bodies, I think they need be no matter of Scruple to their mindes.
This Tryal of Patience, indeed, is an hard Tryal, and therefore requires a constant and a watchful care. And it may be a great help to him therein, if among those, who are pleased to express their kindness, and do him Comfort, by their presence and Friendly attendance, he can chuse a Discreet and Pious Supervisor of his carriage, both towards God and all about him, under his Sickness, and desire him to be his Admonisher, where Excess of Pain and weariness makes him forget himself, and receive his Brotherly Admonitions with willingness and Thankfulness.
And under all the uneasiness of his Sickness, and Temptations to impatience, let him often say one or other of these short Prayers.
*Mat. 6. 10.Thy will be done in Earth, as it is in Heaven, Amen.
†Lam. 3. 39.Shall a Living man complain, a man for the Punishment of his Sin?
*Is…. 45. 9.Woe be to him that striveth with his Maker; shall the Clay say unto him that fashioneth it, what makest thou?
Lord, I will be†Ps. 39. 9. Dumb, and not open my mouth against it, because it is thy doing.
And thou orderest mine infirmities, as †Wisd. 11. 20.thou Orderest all things else, in Number, weight, and Measure.
So that I know they shall not be too many, nor too Heavy, nor continue more days or Hours, than thou seest Suitable to thy Goodness, and my weakness.
If ease is long delayed, and his Spirit is almost wearied, let him ever and anon, put up such short Petitions as these.
*Ps. 130. 5.I wait for the Lord, my Soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope, Amen.
†Ps. 71. 14.I will hope continually, and will yet Praise thee more and more, Amen.
*Ps. 27. ult.O! Tarry thou the Lords Leisure, O my Soul. †2 Tim. 1. 12.I know whom I have Believed, and in*Gal. 6. 9. Due Season I shall reap if I faint not.
†Job 13. 1….Tho he kill me, yet will I trust in him, Amen.
Remember, O! Lord, whereof I am made, and have compassion on mine infirmities, and lay not more upon me than I can bear.
Let*2 Cor. 12. 9. thy Grace be sufficient for me, Amen.
Lord encrease my Patience, or abate my Pains, Amen.
If he is ready to think or say, he can bear no longer, let him remember, that God knows that better than he.
And that when he can bear no longer, God will inflict no longer.
And who can say, how much, or how long, God's Grace shall enable a man to bear?
And the same Grace, that did enable him to bear it yesterday, is as powerful and as ready now, to enable him to bear as much again to day.
Yea, and till we are tryed, we none of us know, what, or how long we can bear.
And Resolution, by God's Crace; can bear much, a great deal more, and a great deal longer, than we thought of. But if we are irresolute, any thing of trouble is difficult. And any Difficulty will conquer those, who come prepared, not to bear and strive with it, but to yield.
If his thoughts are disturbed, and his Devotions faint and broken, by reason of his weakness or pain; let him have Patience with himself, and believe that God will have Patience with him too, and exact no more of him, whilst he is in that condition. And let him frequently say,
Under†Rom. 8. 26, 27. our infirmity's, the Spirit helpeth us, by holy and affectionate, tho' unuttered groans: and he who Searcheth the Heart, hears them.
Lord, I will Honour thee, by submitting my will to thine, and being content with my Sickness. And when thou makest me sick, I will present thee with a sick man's offering, and Pray to thee the best I can with my sickly Faculties.
And from a sickly and feeble man, Good Lord accept a sickly and Feeble Supplication. Amen.
Lord, thou†Ps. 51. 17. rejectest not the broken Spirit, despise not the brokenness of my Devotions, Amen.
Out of the Mouths of Babes and Sucklings, *Mat. 21. 16.thou hast Perfected Praise. Refuse it not out of my mouth then, O! God, which in the midst of all my weakness, is not more weak than theirs, Amen.
Let him also be constantly mindful, to shew Patience and thankfulness towards those, who kindly attend about him. And not be fretful, and show uneasieness, on every little slowness or forgetfulness, or when things are not done for him, just when, and as he would have them.
And let him often say to himself, under any Temptations to uneasiness with his Attendants.
Lord, if they Err, even their Errors are governed and directed by thy hand which Errs not, and thou hast some wise and kind end to serve by it, either for my Soul or Body. Thou bringest about thy gracious purposes concerning me, by their Errours and oversights, as well as by their Care and Kindness.
And therefore instead of being angry at them, I humbly submit to thee, and look to have it turn'd to good, because it is thy doing, Amen.
Lord, enable me to receive all the Pains, which thou sendest upon me, with Patience; but all the kind Services which they seek to do me, with Thankfulness, Amen.
Remember, Lord, for them, all their charitable Services; but remember not against me, my fretfulness or uneasiness in the acceptance thereof, Amen.
Lord, enable them to consider my weakness, and to Pity and bear with it; and enable me to watch against it, and not to fall any more into it, Amen.
And let him think it is now his work and Task, to shew an example, of Humility, Patience, Quiet Resignation to the Hand that smites him, and of comfortable Hope and trust in God, and a thankful Sense of all his past and present mercies, to all visitants.
And to arm him yet more thoroly with all this Patience, which is the virtue most particularly required and marked out, and yet most difficult to be exercised and preserved in his Case:
Let him set before his Eyes, the far greater Tryals and Sufferings, of the ever Blessed Son of God Jesus Christ.
Let him think within himself, and let it often be suggested to him by others, that 'tis not for us to accuse God, for suffering our patience to be tryed, when he could thus suffer his Patience to be tryed.
That we are not to think much, at suffering Tryals deservedly, and for our selves; when he refused not to suffer infinitely Greater, without having deserved to suffer any thing himself, but merely in Pity and kindness for others, yea for his Enemies.
Let him be reminded, that God has made Pain the way to pleasure, and that Jesus bore pains before he was fixed in ease.
That if the present pains are sad, Eternal pains are infinitely sadder, and that we need these here, to prevent our falling under those hereafter. And instead of repineing, that we are left still to suffer the pains of this world; let him rejoyce and give God thanks, that we are delivered by his Mercy, and our Blessed Saviour's merits, from the endless and insupportable Anguish of the next World.
Instead of Repineing therefore, let him often say.
Thy will be done, O! my God, give me my evil things here, that I may have Everlasting Rest and joy with thee hereafter, Amen.
I am content to be a member of an afflicted Saviour, and to suffer with him, in Hopes at last thro' thy mercy to rejoyce and Reign with him, Amen.
*Mat. 10. 25.'Tis enough, yea too much, O! Lord, for the Servant to be as his Master. Since he bore Sorrows, I will not refuse them, but meekly bear them after him whilst thou pleasest, and Patiently wait to be eased thereof at thy time, Amen.
Lord, thou art just in my Sorrows, thou art kind in them. I justifie thee, yea I thank thee for what I feel. I disclaim my own will, either about the bringing or removing of my Pains, and submit my Self wholly to take up with thine, Amen.
And during all the progress of the Sickness, Devotions and Pious Thoughts, and set Prayers or short Ejaculations, are to be the Sick mans vital Breath, and should constantly be sent up to God, whilst he has Spirit left to offer them.
Let him be frequently enjoying the Prayers of the Church, from the Minister, or others.
And any of the Prayers hereafter following, for particular Graces, or for any of his Particular needs or desires; not burdening himself with too many Prayers, or too long ones at once, but taking them as his Strength or Time Serves; or as employing his thoughts thereupon, to exercise not to burden them.
And when he is kept from reading, and using them himself; let such of them, as he likes or desires, be read to him by his Friends, for him to follow, and put up to God with Holy desires.
And when he wants leisure, or Strength for longer, let him distinguish minutes, or the small Portions of his time, with shorter Petitions and Ejaculations.
He may be often affectionately repeating the Lords Prayer. Or any Particular Petitions thereof, as thy Kingdom come; thy will be done in Earth as it is in Heaven; Forgive us our Trespasses, as we forgive them that Trespass against us; Lead us not into Temptation, but deliver us from evil; or the like, as best Suits with his present needs, or desires. Or any of the forementioned short Petitions and Ejaculations, which he may be often repeating, and devoutly offering up, from his own Memory, or the Reading of his friends; or any others, which his own mind, or their Discourses, shall supply him with.
And let the sweet name of Jesus, be often in his mouth, but oftner in his Heart: and let him think that the Blessed name of a Saviour, cannot be to much upon the Soul, or too deep in the desire of a lost Sinner.
Let him therefore say, Jesu have mercy on me.
Jesu! Thou art the Rock of my Hope, Thou art my Love, and my Life, and the Chief object of my desire.
Lord Jesu, thou alone art my Saviour.
And that he may still be stored with matter for such devout thoughts and Ejaculations, when he is not fit to read himself, let them read to him, either some of the Scriptures, Hymns, or Prayers, hereafter discribed for the use of Sick Persons: or some conveuient Portion out of the Penitential Psalms; or something about the Sufferings of our Saviour; or some part of any profitable Discourse, concerning Repentance, or Patience, or Trust in God, or Thankfulness, or concerning Death, and Judgment, Heaven, or Hell.
Let their Discourses also be Savory, and minister thoughts fit for the Seriousness, or for the Comfort or Service of men, who look upon themselves, as taking leave of this World, and going to meet their Lord.
Let them seek to Spiritualize accidents, and take occasion from all that happens, to raise up the Sick mans thoughts to devout and Profitable Reflexions, So that he may not want the offer of a good thought, as oft as he is free and ready for it.
If he awakes more easie, let them Bless God for the ease, and observe how Tenderly he proportions Tryals to our weakness, considering what we can bear, as a Tender Father doth. How seasonably he sends Relief, and how sweetly we relish it after sharp Sorrows, and how from their Experience of the Seasonableness of his Succour in this case, they should learn to trust him, if he sends upon them more Agonies, and quietly to wait for him, hoping he will not stay then, more then he has done now, past the due Time.
Or if he awakes under more pain and disturbance, let them fuggest to him, that if tis great, 'tis like to be the shorter; that God knows best, how much, and how long we can bear; that he is in good and merciful hands, whilst he is in his, and should be quiet under them; that he must wait on God, who loves to be waited on, and Loves to try Faith and Trust, before he recompence it with the desired Blessing.
On all occasions, of any Benefits received, either by Food, or by Physick, or by Sleep; and likewise on any want of them; or on any occurrence or discourse that comes before them, they will be acceptable and useful Friends indeed, if they can shew dexterity in raising up the Devout Sick mans mind to some Pious thoughts, or virtuous Resentments or desires about the same, to make him reflect on the Power, the Patience, the Mercifulness, or the Faithfulness of God; or upon the Wickedness, and Folly of men; the vanity of worldly things; the Serviceableness of Religion, and Holy affections; the Happy end of Trust in God; the Temptations and Dangers of health and ease, the advantage of Sickness, the Blessed fruits of Patience, and the Recompences that shall crown it at the last.
And if at any time he Receives not their Discourses, or their other Services, with that Willingness, and Easiness, which they would expect from him; let them wait another opportunity, and not slacken their good Offices, but only Study how to time them better, or make them more agreeable to him on the next occasion; not taking things ill from him in this condition, but pitying what would provoke them at another time.
Or if he seems troubled, as ingenuous and kind Natures are apt to be, that his Disease makes him so troublesome as he is to his Friends; let them suggest to him, that Friends are born for Adversity, and to bear a part of each others troubles. And that the same wise orderer, who sends him the trouble of his Pains and Sickness, sends them also the Trouble of their Attendance, and doth equally expect a willing and cheerful Reception of their Respecttive Troubles from both.
And in the Visits they pay the Sick, let not the Desire they have of seeing him, make them any ways incommodious, or uneasie to him. Sometimes Sick Persons can ill bear noise; or would be troubled, not relieved, by the Presence of others; or when their Spirits are a little freer, and more refreshed, having but little time, or free thoughts left, they woud have them to themselves, and can ill Complement them away to please others. And 'tis not for wise and kind Friends to break in upon them, when they would be alone; but only when their company would be acceptable, or may be Helpful to them.
And besides all the Prayers, and devout Thoughts, which he puts up thus for himself, let him also desire the Prayers of others. Let him send to desire the Prayers of the publick Congregation. And if he send Almes at the same time, good prayers will be more like to prevail for him. And when he takes his leave of any Friendly Visitants, let him desire them to remember him in theirs; shewing thus on all occasions, that his Eye is unto God in all his sickness, and that he looks to reap most benefit from good prayers.
And by such ways and thoughts as these, may the sick person set himself to this second part of his Task, viz. The bearing of his Pains and Weakness with Patience, Resignation of himself, Thankfulness and Trust in God, and such Resentment of things, and Reflections on them, as are fitting for a sick Bed.
CHAP. V.
Of his Carriage in his last Extremities, and under the near Approach of Death.
AND when sickness goes on to Extremities, and Death approaches, that calls louder to him to †Matt. 25. 6, 7.Trim up his Lamp, and dress his Soul to meet the Bridegroom; but 'tis only with the same Habits, whereof I have been hitherto speaking. A Dying Man is not distinguished from a sick Man, by the difference of his Habits, but only by a greater care and exactness in putting of them on. The same Thoughts and Desires befit him; but when he is expiring, he would be glad, if his strength will serve, to send them up in a brighter and a hotter flame. So that when he comes to die, he must hold on the same Exercise, of Repentance, Patience, Faith, Thankfulness, Devotion, and the like; but only seek to put forth more Zeal and Fervour in them, if he has bodily strength enough so to do, or else be content and rest satisfied to do it as his strength will serve him.
And let him welcome Death when God sends it, and say.
Lord, my times are in thy hand, and thou knowest best when 'tis fit for me to depart this World.
And thy time shall be mine, and I am now willing to come to thee, since thou seest fit to call me. Amen.
I willingly receive my Death, and think 'tis time for me to die, if thou doest, because Life now is grown very uneasie to me, and every day brings much more evil than good, and is more my Burden than my Blessing.
I receive it from thee, O! Lord, as my passage to a better Life, and am not only willing, but thankful, to change Weariness for Rest, and Earthly Sorrows for Heavenly and Everlasting Joys. Amen.
If the Dying persons have lived ill and loosly, they have Reason indeed, if God please, to desire to live longer, that they may learn to live better, and may be more perfect before they Die. Yea, and even good persons do many times desire the same, since the best may mend, and still grow better.
But let such good Souls think with themselves, that if they should live longer, yet living on in the same frail Natures, peradventure more days would still heap up more Frailties and Infirmities to make them still more afraid of Death; and they would be more imperfect, and less fit to die then, than they are now. So that 'tis best to let God chuse for them, and be willing to Die when he pleases.
If he would not leave the ordering and Expences of his Funeral, to the Discretion of his Friends, but is minded to give Directions about the …me himself, let him declare where he desires they should lay his Body, and who should be desired to accompany it, and who to bear it to his Grave; and what Tokens of kind Remembrance shall be given to any of them. And if he see fit, he may order some of the smaller Gifts and Memorials of kindness, which I mention…d before at the making of his Will, to be given at that time.
In proportioning the Expences thereof, he should have regard to the Estate which he has to leave, and to his Rank and Station in the World. And in laying cut the same, he will most comfort and benefit himself, by such ways of expence as best Honour God and profit others, such as satisfying the Hungry with Doles, and cloathing the Needy with Garments, and sending Gifts in Money (more or less as he pleases, and as suits with his Worldly Circumstances) to his own, or other adjacent Parishes, to be distributed among the …oor thereof; or in such other Acts of Piety and Beneficence, as are fit to attend the Body of one, who both living in the World, and leaving it, was studious to be found doing good.
And when he is near about to leave the World, he may take a pious and solemn leave of it.
Let him call in his Parents, if he has any, to ask their pardon for any offence he ever gave them, and to beg their Blessing, and give them his Thanks for all their Love and Care of him. And also his Children to give them his Blessing, and charge them to keep upright and constant in Gods Fear, and in loving and helping one another. And likewise his Friends, and Family, and Dependants, to receive his last Farewell.
Let him profess the great need he has of God's Mercy, and the good hopes he has through the Merits of Christ, and through his alone, to find it.
Let him profess also, that he Dies in the Faith of Christ, and repeat the Creed.
And that he hopes for the acceptance of his Faith and Repent…nce, in the Unity and Communion of Christs Church, in which he Dies; and particularly, as a stedfast and sincere, though unworthy Member, of the Church†Here men…i…n his … Church. &c. whose declared Belief he professes, whose way of Worship he heartily receives, and in whose Peace and Communion he has hitherto lived, and now dies.
Then let him profess, that he takes leave of the World in peace. And forgives all, both present and absent, as he desires himself God would forgive him. And that if any have ever taken any thing ill of him, he desires they would forgive him.
After which, let him send Messages to any absent Friends, whose Reformation he desires, whose Peace he seeks, or whose Love, or Favors, he would express either a just thankfulness, or a friendly sense of.
And as for themselves, let him thank them all, for all their good Wishes, and good Services, in his Life, and at his Death; and pray God to remember the same for their Benefit. And let him heartily beg their pardon, for all the Unreasonable, or passionate, or unequal usage, which he had ever been guilty of towards any of them in his Health; for all the unnecessary trouble, which he has given to any of them by his weakness; but especially for all the provocation and offence, which he has given to any of them by his fretfulness and impatience, during the time of his sickness.
And then let him charge all about him, to keep constant in the Faith, and firm in the Unity of the Church, and endeavour to confirm them in the ways of Piety, Sobriety, Justice, & Charity, and to warn them against falling from any of them for any Intrests or Injoyments of this World, or if at any time they do, against delaying Repentance, or growing hardened and secure under their Fall.
Then let him exhort them all to keep Peace among themselves, especially those who are concerned in the Division of his Estate; And desire all their prayers to assist him in his Agonies. And so recommend them all to God's Mercy, praying that he will keep them all stedfast in his fear, and safe under his care, whilst they live; and give them all comfort, when they come into his condition; and bring them all at last, to meet together again in his Heavenly Kingdom.
After this, he may tell those Friends, who attend more about him, that in his departure, he desires he may have no disturbance to lengthen out his Pains, and molest his Passage. And therefore if any of them think they cannot contain themselves, and govern their Grief, nor see him Die without bursting into passionate Outcrys and noisie disturbance, to call back his retiring Spirit, let him beg them to withdraw when his Death approaches, and pray for him and vent their own grief by themselves. But if any of them can stand by, and accompany him in silence, if they happen then to be about him, he may desire that they would stay to assist him with their Prayers in his last Agonies, and recommend his departing Soul to God at his last Breath.
After he hath taken such Religious, and solemn leave of all his Friends; he has nothing left to do, but whilst his strength serves, to employ his Spirit in Holy Thoughts and Desires as he did before, and devoutly and willingly wait God's time for his change.
And under this expectation, let him often say.
My Flesh and my Heart faileth, but thou art the strength of my Heart, and my Portion for ever, Ps. 73 26.
Lord, strengthen me in my last Agonies, and guard me from all Frights and Molestations of the Enemy. Amen.
I have a good Master, for Jesus that most Blessed of all Names, is my Master, and I will neither be afraid, nor unwilling to go to him.
For whom have I in Heaven, Lord, but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee, Ps. 73. 25.
I desire to be Dissolved, and to be with Christ, Phil. 1. 23.
Sweet Jesu, come quickly, Amen. Rev. 22. 20.
Yea, as the Hart panteth after the Water-Brooks, so panteth my Soul after thee, O! God.
My Soul thirsteth for God, for the living God, when shall I come and appear before God? Ps. 42. 1, 2.
Lord I come to thee, receive me out of thine abundant Mercy.
I come to thee, and him who cometh unto thee, thou wilt in no wise cast out. Jo. 6. 37.
Lord Jesu, receive my Spirit. Amen. Acts 7. 59.
Receive me according to thy word, and I shall live, and shall not be disappointed of my hope.
Because I live, ye shall live allso. Amen. Jo. 14. 19.
Blessed is that Servant, whom his Lord when he cometh shall find watching. Luc 12. 37.
All the days of my appointed time, will I wait, till my change come. Job 14. 14.
O! Father, pity me †Ps. 103. 13.as a Father Pityeth his Children, and receive me †Jor. 4. 10.for whom thou hast laboured, and hast made me what I am.
O! Jesu, Saviour of Sinners, save me whom thou hast Redeemed with thy Blood, which is too dear a price to be thrown away in a lost Purchase.
O! Holy Ghost, the Sanctifier and Comforter, now finish in me thine own work, and comfort up my fainting Spirit.
O! Holy, Blessed, and Glorious Trinity, I have humbly served and feared thee, tho' in much Frailty, [†or in all] my Life; receive and comfort me now at my Death. Amen.
CHAP. VI.
Of Care, and Treatment of the Dead.
AS soon as the Dying Person has breathed his last, his surviving Friends, especially they whom he has intrusted with the care and Disposal of his Body, must be very careful to Dress, and treat it Decently, till it be Decently interr'd.
Let it not lye too open to the Inquiries of the Curious, nor let any thing of it be exposed, which the Person if alive would blush at.
If he gave Orders for his own Funeral, those Orders are a Trust, which are Religiously to be observed. But if he has left it to them, they must Order the same, with as Prudent a Regard to his circumstances and worldly Estate, and with as much Decency, and wise expression of Love and Respect to him, as they can. And lay out what is fit, in Dressing out the Body, and interring it; in shewing Respect and Kindness, where he bore them, or where he ought them; and in Doles and Deeds of Charity, to the Poor and Needy.
In these layings out, they should not spend more than is meet, nor lavish any thing away, vainly, or imprudently.
And on the other Hand, they need not Scruple, some well chosen instances of expence, which are rather Honorary than useful, if there be Estate enough to bear them, and good Reason for them, and Moderation and Discretion shown in them. For tho' this cost doth the Poor no Good, as Judas †Mat. 26. 8, 9. & Jo. 12. 4, 5.once objected; yet it expresses their Love, and Respect to the Dead: and such expressions of esteem and kindness to them, who have Greatly deserved it, and can now make no more Returns of it, are Religious and well approved of both by God and Men. Our Blessed Lord himself very kindly receiving*Mat. 26. 7, 10, 11, 12, 13. & Jo. 11. 2. the cost of the Rich Oyntment, which Mary Lazarurus's Sister poured upon his Head, because she did it for his Burial.
At the Funeral, when a Refection is brought, according to the Custom of the Place, to the Friendly Attendants of the Body before it is carried forth, to relieve their waiting, or their weariness; let it be Dealt among them with Great Moderation. Remembring, that these Guests come not, to gratifie and please their Palates; but to bear their Part in a Scene of Grief, and attend as Mourners.
And let all who meet there, Remember, that they are come, to †Ro. 12. 15.mourn with those that mourn, and bear a part with the afflicted; and be careful, to shew themselves sensibly, and seriously affected, with their own or the surviving Relations Loss, according as there is just cause; however, with the loud Warning and Alarm to themselves, which is in these Providences.
Let them not talk lightly, or Pleasantly, nor fall into Discourses of News, or Markettings, or of other Worldly business.
For these neither suit with the Friendly Sadness, nor with the Religious Seriousness of that occasion, and shew them to be little touched, either with their Friends Death, or with Thoughts and Expectations of their own.
But instead thereof, let them study each to employ themselves, and entertain their Company, with Thoughts and Discourses, about the Vanity, and uncertainty of all earthly Things; about the Sorrows, and benefits of Sickness; about the Troublesomeness, and Shortness of Life, the certainty that we shall all Dye, and the uncertainty of the Time when, and the Suddenness many Times of these Changes, and the Great need we all have constantly to expect, and prepare for them; and about the Hopes and Blessedness there is in Dying well, and the Happiness of that State where we shall Dye no more, nor ever have the Loss of any Dear Friends to Mourn for.
They may also Discourse of their Deceased Friends, especially when they have things to say of them to their Advantage: As how their Patience was tryed, and approved in their Sickness; how good God was to them, and how Submissive, and Devout they were towards him, what Good words they said, or Good works they did, or Comfort and Support they found; or any thing else belonging to them, either Living or Dying, for which they are fit to live in our Memory, and be examples for our instruction or imitation.
And when they come thus, to take up Good and Heavenly Thoughts, and to infuse them into one another, they will do Great Good to themselves, as well as Honour to their Friend, by paying him this last Office, and all return better than they came from the House of Mourning.
When the Relations and Friends mourn and shew Decent sorrow for the Deceased, as 'tis fit they should, to shew they expect to find a want of them, or to express their Love, and value for them, as†Jo. 11. 35▪ 36. Jesus wept at Lazarus's Grave, to show how he loved him; they must be careful, to Do it moderately, and Christianly. And Grieve for him like men, who know that God has taken him; and who have hope and comfort in Death, and after it; and believe, when a Pious Friend Dyes, that the living only have lost, but that the Deceased has got by Dying. But they must not repine against God, who has taken their Friend away; nor mistrust his Care to provide for them, now their Friend is gone; nor grow out of Humour, or unthankful for all his other Mercies, because they are deprived of this; nor let their Grief be excessive or obstinate, and refuse to be comforted,†1 Thes. 4. 13. as they who have no Hope.
Particularly, let them not refrain going to Church, for such a certain space of Time, or number of Weeks, after a Dear Wife or Husbands Death, as the manner of some is; which I think is a very ill chosen expression of Grief, or Ceremony of Mourning. For this looks, as if we were out of Humour with God, because he has taken our Friend from us; and is very unsuitable, to that Patience, and Thankfulness, which we ought to express; and to that Devotion, which we not only ought, but need to use, on such occasions. For these Changes, should not make us less Religious, but more; and call us to God, and his House and Service, instead of Driving us from them. The House of God, is the House of comfort; and in our affliction, we have the more need to run to it, to be eased of our Sorrows, as well as to show our intire Submission and Service to that most Wise and good Hand, which has now Disposed of our Friend, and in his Due time will Dispose of us too to his own mercy.
And as for the Mourning of the Surviver, when God has this way parted dear Pairs, the Memory of the Deceased should not easily wear off, but stick fast and long with the Living, as is very fit, both in Respect to the Dead, and in Decency and due Regard to the censure of the Wise and Sober part of the World. And unless the Circumstances or needs of Families, are very extraordinary and Pressing for them to change their condition sooner, they should at least wait the Time, which Custom and good Report have fixed in mourning for the Dead, before they forget their Sorrows, or hearken to any motions of exchanging them for new Joys.
Lastly, the Executors and nearest Relations may still further shew their kindness and careful Respect, and Deserve well of their Deceased Friends, by being very studious to keep Peace among themselves; and, if any Clauses of the will are not clearly worded, or any matters about the Estate are left lyable to Dispute, by Composing them amicably among themselves without fuits, that the contentions of the Living may not spoil or disparage the Kindness, nor ever be laid by God, or men, to the Neglect, or carelessness of the Dead.
By fulfilling their Wills punctually, and giving to every one at their Time, with Good-will, and without unnecessary trouble, or Delays, what is really intended for them, and Due to them thereby.
Yea, by having Regard, to what was fit for them to Order, tho' they forgot to Order it: Or, what they needed to Order, but could not, as Payment of Debts which they left not Estate enough to pay.
The Law, indeed, will not compel them to pay beyond Assets, or what the Deceased has left them to pay out of. But Natural Affection, and the Virtue of Gratitude, in near and dear Kindred, especially in Children towards their Parents, may call for more than any humane Law doth.
For Children have received abundance from their Parents, and if ever they see them brought to want, they ought to look upon themselves as much in their Debt, and greatly obliged in Gratitude*1 Tim. 5. 4. to requite them if they are able, which St. Paul calls shewing Piety at home. Especially to shew this Piety in doing such things for them, as they would most Desire to be done for themselves. And if these Deceased Relations had Liberty to speak their own mindes to us, I belive we should hear, that nothing lyes nearer to their Hearts, or would be more for their Ease or Comfort, than doing Justice for them where they owe it, or paying their just Debts is. And therefore to take these up, according to our Ability and Circumstances, and reasonably to content and satisfie their Creditors, is a Great and Noble part of Religious Piety towards them, and a most Rewardable instance of Gratitude and Nat…ral kindness. Which is of the more account, as being shown towards those, who tho' heretofore they have done much more for us, yet now can doe nothing, either for us, or for themselves; and as being thereby an Office full of Humanity and Generosity, as well as of Gratitude and Piety.
Thus much I thought fit to premise, for a Brief Direction, to Sick or Dying Persons, how to manage and employ themselves when call'd by God to these Conditions; and also to the surviving Relations, how to discharge their Parts well upon the Death of Friends.
But for a more full Assistance, and Direction of their Practice or Devotions, I have laid together some choice Scriptures, and Composed particular Prayers, fit to Guide their Practice, and express their Devotion, on the several Duties and Exigencies, of the State of Sick or Dying men, or of the surviving Kindred, when their Friends are taking from them. And these are contained in the Pages following.