The Exceeding Riches of Grace, Text (3 of 3)

The Exceeding Riches of Grace · Text (3 of 3)

p. 107Maid.

Was it so with you? and then said, The Discoveries of Christ, and promises, are more terrible to me, then the curses of the Law.

S.

Sometimes it was so with me; salvation was turnd into condemnation to me: promises that were never so sweet, were terrible to me.

Maid.

When he would have healed me, I resisted, and would not.

S.

Who hath resisted his will? Here is Gods mercy to you, that by his Spirit he hath convinced you of sin; when you might have gone without any sight of it.

Maid.

I have not the light of it.

S.

You see, you are in darkenesse: Christ came to be light to them that are in darkness ppLu. 1.79.. Christ would not unbottome you of your selfe, but to bottome you on himselfe qqHos. 2.7.14. Hos.14.3.Hos 2:7Hos 2:14Hos 14:3.

Maid.

He that overcometh, to him will he give to sit on his ThronerrRe. 3.21., and to eat of the hidden MannassRe. 2.17.? One may goe farre, and not overcome. He that endures to the end, shall be savedttMat. 24.13.Matt 24:13: but I fear, I shal not.

S.

He saith, uu2 chr. 20.15.feare not, nor be dismayed: for the battel is not yours, but the Lords: you lye down in your shame, but he is your strength, your al in al.

Maid.

Better never to have known the Truth, p. 108and holy Command, then having known it, to departww2 Pet. 2. 21.2 Pet 2:21, as I have departed.

S.

All the Scriptures you bring, are to bring you off from your sandy foundation; you would build on something you would finde in your selfe, and feed on husks, your prodigals portion xxLu. 15.16.: Christ is unbottoming you of your own righteousnesse yyPhil. 3.7.Phil 3:7, and of all evill, to make known himself, & his righteousnes to you: and to set you on that Rock, that is higher then you.

Maid.

Not one glimmering light of him have I.

S. Ans.

Had you these eight yeers enjoyed such light and comforts as you would have had, you would have rested in them. But God would not have you rest short of himselfe zzIsa. 55. 1, 2, 3. 8.Isa 55:1Isa 55:2Isa 55:3Isa 55:8.

Maid.

I have sin'd against all the meanes and light he hath given me.

S.

You will the more prize his mercy, and the more love him, when you shall see his love to you, notwithstanding all this aaMic. 7. 18. 1 Tim. 1. 13-17.Mic 7:181 Tim 1:13–17.

Maid.

Iudas after his sin, he repented: I have not so much as he had.

S.

He had a naturall Repentance: you wait for Repentance from Christ bbAct. 5. 31.Acts 5:31, who is sent to give Repentance to them that have no Repentance.

Maid.

I have sin'd with Iudas; But he saith, Returne; And I have not returned.

S.

Doth he expect they should returne in their own strength? No. But he turns them, and they are turned ccJe. 31.18.. Judah was given over to reproach, and to treachery, and whoredome, and to all manner of sin: Their sinnes p. 109were such, as could not be numbred: They would none of God, but were weary of him ddIsa. 43.24.Isa 43:24: yet he would not forsake them eeJer. 51.5.Jer 51:5; but would have mercy on them, and would love them freely, and would forgive them, and blot out their sins, for his own sake ff25.; that they might not boast of their own righteousnes gg1 Co. 1.29.1 Cor 1:29: but glory in the Lord onelyonly.

Maid.

I go on in sin: and what hope for such?

S.

Ephraim feeds on wind; and the house of Israel cōpisseth him about with lyes: yet they were not destroyed: for his bowels were turnd for Ephraim, Hos. 11.8.

Maid.

If I eat, I am terrified for it.

S.

If I did eat, I was terrified for it. Sometimes I durst not drink in a whole week together: because I judged, it was a Cup of Devils hh1 Cor. 10. 21.1 Cor 10:21, and I drank to Devils, if I drank: and if I did eat, I thought I did eat my own damnation.

Maid.

I would fain be out of this life, that I might have an end.

S.

Would you be sooner in Hell? Is not that worse?

Maid.

I would be sitting alone, and musing, and not work: because I have no hope.

Quest.

When you work not, have you no thoughts?

Maid.

Yes, thoughts of sin, and of misery.

S.

Then tis better for you to be imployed in busines iiRom. 12. 11.Rom 12:11: Forels, the enemy hath more advantage: And specially because God bids you labour the thing that is good kkEph. 4.28.Eph 4:28.

Maid.

I shall never be comforted: I am cast out.

S.

Because thou sayest, my paine is perpetuall, my p. 110wound is incurable llJer. 30. 15-17.Jer 30:15–17: and are called an Out-cast: therefore the Lord will cure thee: The Lord gathereth the out-casts of Israel.

Maid.

Once that promise was sweet to mee; The mountains shall depart, and the hills shall be removed: but my kindnes shall not depart from thee, nor shall the Covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee mmIsa. 54.10.Isa 54:10Then God was sweet to me, and his people sweet; I could have laid my hand under their feet. But now, mercy is departed, and all is nothing.

S.

Hath God said, It shall not depart, and will you say, it shall depart? Mountains of sin and corruption shall depart; but he will not depart. The Father draws the soule to his Son: the Son receives it; the Blessed Spirit unites it, and makes of two, one; He knits the knot in the middle, and ties these two ends together. Christ and the soule: which knot of love, none can untie nn1 Joh. 5. 7.1 John 5:7.

Maid.

God might say, What could I have done more for thee, then I have done ooIsa.5.4.Isa 5:4? and yet I have thus revolted from him.

S.

Israel not onelyonly revolted, but deeply revolted. Yet he saith, Returne, and he turns them. He gathereth, not onelyonly Israel in generall; but the Out-casts of Israel: the skirts and rags of them. Ile tell you what your state is. You are as a man, that's taken from his house, where was some light; and is put in Ludgate, and put in a dungeon, where he hath no light. If one comes from the King with a pardon, and to call such a p. 111one to the Kings Palace, where the light is greater and more glorious, then that he had before: how will he then admire it? And will not you admire it, if the great King shall doe thus with you, that are now in a dark dungeon? If he work, who shall let him? his pleasure is, to raise up one from a dungeon of darknes, and to bring such to his marvailous light qq1 Pet. 2.9.1 Pet 2:9: From a dunghill; from sin, and corruption, and the Devill; to sit with Princes rrPsal. 113.7,8.Ps 113:7Ps 113:8; to give them a kingdome. Fear not little flock ssLuk. 12.32.Luke 12:32, its your Fathers good pleasure to give you a kingdome.

Maid.

If I were of that flock, I might have hope.

S.

Other sheep I have, that are not of this fold: them will I bring to the Sheepsold, and they shall hear my voice: and there shall be one fold, and one Shepheard ttJoh. 10. 16.John 10:16.

Maid.

The Lord strove with mee, and I resisted.

S.

If the Lord passe over all this, your soule and body will melt: you will be overcome with this goodnesse of his, to be his for ever. Its the Son that must make you free, and then you shall be free indeed uuJoh. 8.36.John 8:36.

Maid.

But I have fin'd against such great light: and what will my end be?

S.

What think you of Peter that so denied Christ? Was not be on the mountaine with Christ, and saw his glory wwMar. 9. 2.Mark 9:2? did not he see light? & yet how sin'd he against it? when be both denied Christ, and forsware him xxChap. 14. 71.. And yet what love shewd Christ to him after all this? p. 112Tell my Disciples, and tell Peter that I am risenyyChap. 16. 7. 9.. I was much troubled with the Parable of the foolish Virgins: It was terrible to me. But yet see what was there? At midnight there was a great cry; Behold the Bridegroome cometh, go forth to meet him zzMat. 25. 6.Matt 25:6: So when it is the darkest time with you, you are cald to goe forth to meet him.

Maid.

I think as I go in the streets, something will fall on my head, and will kill me.

S.

When I went in the streets, I thought the Earth would open, and swallow me up. You cannot reckon up the thing, but I was troubled with it.

Maid.

I desire I might be a warning to all, to beware by my example, of sinning against light, as I have done, & brought all this misery on me.

S.

It may be this is it the Lord aimes at, in his hiding himself from you: that you may be for a warning: & yet he may return to you again aa1 Tim. 1.13-16.1 Tim 1:13–16.

Maid.

If I had hearkened, then my peace should have been as a river, and my righteousness should goe before me.

S.

Be you ashamed, and confounded, that you have so neglected him: and if he will shew his love to you, notwithstanding all this, how will you admire him?

Maid.

Ay, as much as any. I should have as much cause to admire him, as ever had any.

A.

Therefore he will be gracious, that he may be exalted bbIsa. 30. 18.Isa 30:18.

Maid.

If I could weep day and night, I should find more ease; but I cannot.

p. 113S.

What if you could? yet the Law and all your doings are weak; aaRom. 8. 3.Rom 8:3but you have not what you would in your self, that you may not rest short of Christ. You would not else so desire the riches of Grace to such a one. Are you not weary and sorrowfull?

Maid.

I am.

S.

He will satiate the weary soul: and he will replenish the sorrowfull soul.bbJer. 31. 25.Jer 31:25

The maid having further heard by this Gentlewoman, how sad her condition had been; and that yet the Lord had been so gracious to her, she said: Mine was not sadder then yours hath been: but only that I had sin'd against greater light. How long were you in that sad condition?

S.

Four years and above, since I was little more then eleven years old: But the last half yeere and above before the Lord delivered me, I was full of terror night and day; and at last, I had no rest at all, being violently tempted against my life.

Maid.

Then I may have some hope that the Lord may deliver me; because I have not been above two moneths so violently troubled.

May 31. Being Munday, came to her the Lady Willoughbie of Parham, with D^r Coxe Physician, and M^rs Cox; M^r and M^rs Adderley, of the Charter-house, &c. Having heard of her great comforts, Dr. Cox put severall Questions to her; Which with her Answers, were to this effect.

p. 1141. D^r Cox.

Some say of your Comfort, that it is but a Delusion, some say it is not.

Q.

How do you know tis no Delusion?

S. Ans.

You cannot know what my comforts are except you knew what my terrors were: But I beleeve, the Lord did not keep me in them, and carry me through them, and deliver me from them, (not foon one, but from all my fears,) and give mee comfort to delude me with his comfort. For nothing could satisfie in those Terrors, but Christ; therefore it is apparent that it is Christ; because nothing else could do it to free me from one of my terrors; much lesse to free me from all. Could any thing keep me from such great temptations, but the power of God? (then shee told of some of her Temptations.)

Q.

How know you it was the power of God?

Ans.

Because it was the bare arme of God that brought salvation to me: (Isa. 59.16.) nothing else could, and nothing els did it. I went about seeking rest, and could sind none, till he gave me rest.

Q.

How know you this working in you, is the Spirit of God?

A.

Where the Spirit of God is, there is libertie he dd1 Cor. 3 17.1 Cor 3:17sets the soul at liberty, that was in bondage; for I was in bondage. The other is a Spirit of Error; this is the Spirit of Truth: the other is the Spirit of darknes, this is the Spirit of light. This is the Spirit of Truth, and not of Error, because he leads the soul into all Truth:eeIoh. 1 13.John 1:13 and he set me at liberty, that I am no under the Law, but under GraceffRom. 6.14.Rom 6:14.

p. 1152. Q.

How, or in what sense are you not under the Law?

S. Ans.

Because the Spirit of life in Christ Iesus, hath made me free from the law of sin, and of death. For what the Law could not doe, being weak, &c. (Rom. 8. 2. 3.) It was weak to pardon my sinne, and to carry it into the land of forgetfulnes: therefore God sending his Son — condemns sin, and saves the sinner: even me, the chiefest of sinners.

3. Q.

Whether have you SIN in you?

A.

Yes; a thorn in the flesh (as Paul had,) to humble me: but not to condemne me. (2 Cor. 12. 7.)

Q.

Whether doe you think that others judge of your condition now, that it is but in hypocrisie?

A.

They that saw, or knew me in my Terrors, when I could not be ruled; might well know, that nothing but the Peace of God, which passeth all understanding, could so rule me, which was as Ephraim, an untamed heifer, (Phil. 4.7. Ier. 31.18. (she spake this very low.)

4. Q.

Why do you speak no louder? are you weaker with your joyes, then you were with your Terrors?

Ans.

I had more cause in my Terrors, when I abus'd my body; but I never felt it, till now. I beat my head oft against the wall; and took my flesh in my teeth: and the more and ofter I did it, the lesse I felt it. And when I had an opportunity against my life, and did not take it; then I beat my self for it most of all, because it took not effect: Or if I spake any thing that was offensive p. 116to any with me, or did that I should not; when it was brought to mind afterward, then I abused my body for it, most of all. And that I did so then, is the cause why I lie here now. For now that he hath brought me to my self, now I feel it. He did not onelyonly bring my soul to hell, and brought it back again; but my body to the grave, that he might raise it up again if he see it good. (1 Sam. 2.6,7.)

5. Qu.

Why do you not eat? Why do they now get things for you, that you may rise again?

Ans.

I do eat. But its meat to eat, that the world knows not off; but those that taste of it: His words were aaJer. 15. 16.Jer 15:16found, and I did eat them. His words are the joy, and rejoycing of my heart; his words of mercy, and love, and joy in the holy Ghost; which sill an empty soul indeed, as I was: which is meat indeed, both to soul and body at the present.

Qu.

Whether do you not refuse the creatures our of temptation?

An.

No, for I would eat, if I could: my stomach was then sild with terror that I could not eat; & now with joy. If I could, I would take the Creatures; but for the present I cannot: But if he see it best for his glory, and my good, I wait for a power from him for this, as well as for the rest that he hath done for me for I know that all power is in his hand, and all my times are in his hand: therfore I desire to wait on him.

Q.

Whether could you endure to be mock'd and skoff'd, and jeered at in the world? if some should say, This is she that was mad, or that counterfeited could you endure it?

p. 117Ans.

Its no more then my Lord and Master was before me: They said, he was mad, and had a Devil: and the Souldiers mock'd him. Let me undergo the uttermost, I do but follow his aa1 Pet. 2. 22.1 Pet 2:22steps. And if I will be one of Christs, I must do so bbLuke 14. 26.Luke 14:26. He suffered it, but for such a one as I, though he was the Son of God; yet he made himself of no reputation ccPhil. 2. 7,8.Phil 2:7Phil 2:8, And what was it for? but to die for me the the chiefest of sinners, that I might live to have life from him, that I might live to him dd2 Cor 5. 14, 15.2 Cor 5:142 Cor 5:15.

7. Q.

Whether could you be content with Christ alone now, and take no comfort in any thing in the world, but be satisfied with him alone?

Ans.

Yes, very well: for he is a satisfying Christ: for having him, I have enough, I have all things. Therefore I desire not to look after pleasures in the world, for I have enough in him eePhil. 4.11, 12.Phil 4:11Phil 4:12. For he is full of satisfaction: and I have tasted of that fulness, Grace for Gr..ce.ffIo. 1.16.John 1:16

8. Q.

Whether do you love God now, more then ever you did before?

Ans.

I know not that ever I lov'd him at all before: For I had no love at all ggTit. 3.3.Titus 3:3, neither to the Creator, nor to the creature: for all were enemies. All the sight of God I had then, was, that he was an enemy. I saw no excellency, nor beauty, hhIsa. 53.2.Isa 53:2nor comliness in him to be desired at all.

It must be one that hath attained to great love, that can love a deformed creature. God is LOVE it self iiIo. 4.16.John 4:16: yet he is pleased to look on such a deformed creature as p. 118I; none more then I. Therefore he shews tis great love indeed, that he loved me withall. Therefore I love him with the same love, that he loved me kk1….first.

I was a childe of wrath, dead in trespasses and sins; a stranger from the Covenant of promise; without God, without hope; far off from God; indeed I was an enemy to God. Yet he was pleased to reconcile enemies: therefore its free love, to love such a one; to quicken such a one; to bring such a one neer, that was so far off. It was love indeed, that made me love him. It was this, that made me to see a beauty and excellency in him; which made me love him above ten thousand worlds: if all the glory of them were in one, and given to me, I see more to besired in him, in the least glimpse of him, then in them all. Therefore I look on him above them all. When I saw him as an enemy to mee, I could not love him: But now I see him a reconciled God in Iesus Christ to such an enemy as I, even I the chiefest of sinners; Which constraines me to love him. (2 Cor. 5. 14.)

9. Q.

Whether do you PRAY?

Ans.

I do pray: but tis that the Lord would give submission to his will. As long as I am in the body, I have cause to pray. I cannot forget to pray for troubled soules, that come hither to me. But for my selfe, my chiefest work is now to PRAISE the Lord, for what he hath done to my soul. For Praises wait for God in Zion: And for what waits it? but for Zions deliverance from her hand bondage. Zion was a Wildernesse, desolate, forsaken, forgotten of God for the present, p. 119in her owne apprehension. And when God is pleased in fulnes of time to manifest himself, and to shew his love to Zion freely, and to marry her to himself, (such a one as I was,) and to establish Zion on a sure foundation, that is, upon himself: that though the mountains and hills depart, yet his loving kindnesse shall not depart: then PRAISES wait for God in Zion: for Zion then hath answer of her prayers. ^{Ps. 6}5^.1

10. Q.

Whether finde you a tickling of pride or hypocrisie, when so many people, and some great ones come to see you? Do you not ask who were the Great people, when they are gone? and take pride in it?

[A like Question, and her Answer to it, was before. Another time when a Noble Lady sate on the bed by her, and she was not moved at it, one whispered to her, that this was a great Lady: She answered Its no more to me, then if it were such a one: naming a meaner woman troubled in Spirit, that oft came to her.] And now to this Question she answered, No; its far from me. For if I were in a Wildernesse, where none came to me; I should take as much glory there as in such abundance comming to me in this place nnIoh. 5.44.John 5:44. For the Saints of God will give thanks for me in general, though they know me not in particular. And unless it were some that I knew before, I know not any that come; and I look not upon them, unlesse it be on some troubled people that come: for I enquire after these: but I enquire after none els.

11. Q.

How know you those that come hither, that they are truly troubled for sin? For many will make as though they were so, but are not.

p. 120Ans.

None knows the secrets of God, but himselfe. And those to whom he reveals his secrets to, by their own experience they may guess at it, who is, and who is not aa1 Cor. 2.16.1 Cor 2:16. One that is indeed burthen'd for sin, its not an easy burden for them to ly under: they would be out in it, if they could. These are weary of their sin: and anything else can content them, but a glimps of the love of God, in the face of Iesus Christ bbRom. 7.24.25.Rom 7:24Rom 7:25. So far I guess then to be really troubled for sin.

12. Q.

How put you a difference in the Trinity between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost!

Ans.

These three do all agree in one, and they differ not in working a New Creation in the soul. They are three in manifesting their workings. For, None can come to the Son, except the Father who gave them to him, draw them: There's the Fathers worke, is give and draw them ccIoh. 6. 44.John 6:44. For these the Son lays down his life, and receives them: All that thou hast given me, shall come unto me dd37.: I have kept them, and lost none. Its the work of the Spirit, to unite the soul and Christ together, to make of twain one cc1 Cor. …. 17.. Thus their three works are manifested to the soule. Yet these three agree ff1 Iohn. 5.7. Complut. Plant.1 John 5:7in one.

[Iune 3. The Relator asked her further about this Mystery of Three in one.

S. Ans.

The Father, Son, and Spirit are in Vnion: These three agree in one: and so ther's no disagreeing or differences therein: But there are various dispensations to the creatures capacity; so there are three:

p. 121First, the Father, that in his love sent the Son ggIoh. 3, 16. Rom. 5. 8.10.John 3:16Rom 5:8Rom 5:10to reconcile sinners to himself

Secondly, the Son the Word hhIoh. 1.1.John 1:1who was sent, that took our Nature; to redeem us from all iniquity and to bring us to the Father.ii14. Heb. 2 14.Heb 2:14

Thirdly, the holy Spirit, who was sent by the Father in Christs name kkIoh. 14. 16. 26.John 14:16John 14:26, to manifest this love of the Father, and of the Son, to the Creature: which the Creature could not know, but by the Spirit of God ll1. Cor. 2.9.10. Tit. 3.5. Ioh 3. 3. 5.1 Cor 2:91 Cor 2:10Titus 3:5John 3:3John 3:5, who quickens them that were dead in sin mmRom. 8.10.11.Rom 8:10Rom 8:11: and he teacheth and leads the soul into all truth nnIoh. 16.13—15.John 16:13.]

13. Q.

May 31. was; Whether is any thing revealed to you, how it shall go with the Church of God?

Ans.

I know, and verily beleeve it shall go ooIsa. 3.10.Isa 3:10well with those that fear the Lord.

Q.

How mean you in spirituall, or in outward things?

Ans.

Specially in spirituall, I mean: and so far as it is for their good, in outward things, God will dispose of them.

14. Q.

She having said, that her sanctification as well as her justification did proceed from Christ: M^r Adderley asked her how the proved it?

Ans.

I beleeve that out of the side of Christ, did issue both blood, and waterppIoh. 19.34.John 19:34. Blood to take away the guilt of my sin: and water to wash away the filth of my sin qq1 Ioh. 5.6, 8.1 John 5:61 John 5:8. So that from my Lord Iesus Christ, doth issue both my justification, and my sanctification. He rr1 Cor. 1.30.1 Cor 1:30is p. 122made to me, Wisdom, Righteousnes, rr1 Cor. 1.30.1 Cor 1:30Sanctification and Redemption.

Another maid that was not born in England, being in affliction, both in soul and body, came to her telling her of her sad Temptations: (her words were better understood by Mⁱrs Sarah, then by the writer and sometimes were guessed at, from the Answers given to her; (viz.)

Maid.

I am sore assaulted by Satan.

Mⁱrs Sarah.

Christ is lifted up, and held out to you, as the Brazen Serpent was in the aaIoh. 3.14.John 3:14Wildernesse Though you are stung by the old Serpent, yet healing is in Christ for such as you. Shall your sin separate from Christ?

Maid.

I know it shall not,bbRom. ….34.35. if Christ were willing to save me, for he is able to do it.

Mrs S.

Do you question the willingnesse of Christ He is your King, & he will save you ccIsa. 33.2….Isa 33:2. He is as wiling to heal you, as you are to be healed. He gave his life so saving the ungodly, and sinners dd1 Tim. 1.15.1 Tim 1:15; therefore hee is willing to save them. Doe you desire after Christ?

Maid.

Yea I desire him with all my heart. I long for him.

M^rs S.

Its he that works ccPhil. 2.13.Phil 2:13the will and the deed: he works that desire in you.

Maid.

I feel that God is angry with me.

M^rs S.

His anger is but for a moment: but his mercy is for everlasting.ffIsa. 54.8.Isa 54:8

Maid.

Yea, if I could beleeve.

p. 123Mr_s S.

Do you see a want of Faith? thats your chiefe want: If you had Faith, you had enough: and this is true Faith, to beleeve that Christ dyed for you the chiefest sinners.dd1. Tim. 1.15.1 Tim 1:15

Maid.

I am a filthy wretched sinner.

M_rs S.

Who was a sinner like me? Who was worse then Mary MagdalenggMar. 16. ….Mark 16, then Peterhh7., then Paulii1 Tim. 1.13-16.1 Tim 1:13–16? Yet they obtained mercy. Are you tempted against your life?

Maid.

I am oft tempted against my life.

M^rs S.

Why, what causeth it?

Maid.

Sometimes this, because I am not as others _are: I do not look so, as others do.

M_rs S.

When Christ comes and manifests himselfe to the soul, it is black in it selfe, and uncomely kkCant. 1.5.Song 1:5: but He is fair and ruddy, and he cloaths the soul with his comelines that mmEzek. 16. 6 — 10.Ezek 16:6he puts on it, and makes it comely therein: and in him the soul is all fair, and there is llchap. 4.7.no spot nor wrinkle, nor any such thing in it, in his account; because he hath clensed it by his bloud, from all sinne. Its not you that do it, but Christ that will do it: as he saith, This is my CovenantnnHebr. 8. 10 — 12.Heb 8:10; I wil be mercifull to their iniquities; and, Ile give you a new heart;ooEzek. 36.26.Ezek 36:26 Ile put my fear in you heart; Ile write my Lawes there. Though the soul cannot beleeve at all; yet hee remains faithfull, and cannot deny himselfe pp2 Tim. 2.13.2 Tim 2:13: hee saith not, hee will not, but hee saith, hee cannot deny himself.

Maid.

He may do this for some few, but not to me.

p. 124M^ris Sarah.

He doth not this to me onelyonly, nor to our Nation onelyonly, for, many Nations must be blessed in him qqGen. 21.Gen 21. He came to give his life for a ransom for many to give himself for the life of the world rr10.6.51.. He is a free agent; and why should you exclude your self?

Maid.

I had a light followed me: but now he is hid from me.

M^ris Sarah.

The House of Jacob was the Church of God: and yet be hid himself from them.ssIsa. 8.17.Isa 8:17

Maid.

I am a dry barren ground.

M^ris Sa.

Christ will pour water on the dry and thirsty land. ttIsa. 4…. 3.Isa 4:3He satisfies the hungry soul with good things uuLu. 1.53.. Its wwIo. 19.30. 2 Cor. 5 19. Col. 2.13. 14, 15.John 19:302 Cor 5:19Col 2:13Col 2:14Col 2:15all done by Christ already, for poor barren souls: there is nothing now to do, but to xx1 Co. 2. 11.1 Cor 2:11manifest it by the spirit to you. You know God hath made you, and he bare you up this while. Do you think any could do this but God? and hath he done all this for you. & do you think he will yyIud. 13.23.Judg 13:23not deliver you? Did he zzIsa. 63.9. Ier 1. 1.6. Act. 13.17, 18, 19.Isa 63:9Jer 1:1Jer 1:6Acts 13:17Acts 13:18Acts 13:19bear and carry the Israelites, that had bee bond-slaves in AEgypt, through the Wildernes, into Canaan, (notwithstanding all their sins and provocations, and hardnes of heart;) and will not he bear you, and carry you, out of your self, into himself though you be a bondslave to sin and Satan? He work and none shall let him. aaIsa. 43. 13.Isa 43:13Who shall let the mighty God? shall sin or Satan? He works where he will and when he will. Though he tarry, wait for him: for he that shall come, will come, and will notarry.bbAbac, 2.3.

p. 125The Relator spake afterwards with this afflicted Maid; she told him the Lord had given some support and refreshing to her, since that conference. The Lord alone be exalted for it, who works all our works for us,ccIsa. 26. 12.Isa 26:12 and in us. For what have we, (any of us) that we have not receiveddd1 Cor. 4. 6.1 Cor 4:6? And where then is boasting? It is excluded.eeRom. 3. 27.Rom 3:27

Iune 2. A godly man came to her, and told her, he was convinced in his Conscience to come, to enquire the truth about an ill report he then had heard and judged it was false: it was this; That some great persons having come to her from Westminster: she being told thereof, that she said; A greater then Solomon was there: as if she gloried more in her self, then in the work of Christ in her. To whom M^ris Sarah answered thus:If all that hear ill reports, would reserve all ear for the absent: Pro 18. 17. there would be lesse printing, & preiudice against the innocent, then there is,Prov 18:17. Its far from me to glory in my self, but in my infirmitiesgg2 Cor. 12.9.2 Cor 12:9; and to lie down in my shame, and to have confusion cover me. In my terror it was far from me; and now seeing a glimpse of the love of God, it doth humble me thoroughly: which nothing else could. And now, if I should glory in this work, but onelyonly in exalting Christ, it would be as great a sin, as ever I committed yet: but onelyonly the sin of unbelief hh1 Ioh. 5.10.1 John 5:10. The truth was thus; One day, amongst others that came, one told her, there p. 126were some that came far, and desired to heare her speak, what God had done for her: She answered saying; The Queen of Sheba came far to heare this Wisedom of Solomon; but behold, a greater then Solomon is here iiLuk. 11.31.Luke 11:31. Christ himself, to work a New Creation in the soul: To turn me from the ruling power of Satan, and utter darknes, to his everlasting light kkAct. 16.18.Acts 16:18to turn a Prodigall to himself: even me, that was a bad, or rather worse; yet he hath turned me. It was his work to turn me, therefore he deserves the praise of his own work. To cloath Legion in his right mind llMat. 5.15.Matt 5:15, & set him at his feet: yea in his bosom. It was his love indeed to such a one as I. This I say, that Christ may have the Praise of his own work, and none els: because he does it alone.

This was what shee said at that time, to those from Westminster: and many mo being there is the room; and her voice, through her weaknes, being very low; whether some heard her speak but put of the words beforesaid; or some that her speech was related unto, God knoweth: but some did distract from, and wrested her Expressions; and then raised an ill report. If the receiver be as bad as the Thiefe; one had need bee wary, lest hee receive prohibited goods. Some other false reports, some have made, and others have spread already but this may be an Item to all, to take heed, what they hear, and of whom: and to warn all that are professed Christians, not to come short of Aristide a professed Heathen; who us'd to lend but one eare p. 127to a party present, that inform'd him against one absent; and to lay his hand on his other ear; signifying to the reporter, that hee would reserve one ear for the party absent; and not judge the case, till he heard the other also. Shall not Aristides, and heathen Foestus rise in judgement against many in our generation, and condemne them? When we see how Foestus also would not passe judgement against Paul being absent, though he had information against him, not by one or two, but by many, and those also being of his own**Act. 26. 5, 6, 7. 22.Acts 26:5Acts 26:6Acts 26:7Acts 26:22 sect and Religion in the main, and of special note and strictnes among them: yet being desired by them, he refused it, saying, It is not the manner of of the Romanes, to deliver any man to nnA good name is better then great riches. Pro. 22. 1. Pro. 25. 18. Therefore it is worse to rob or wrong one in this, then in the other.Prov 22:1Prov 25:18dy, (so to judge him,) before that he which is accused, have the accusers face to face; and have licence to answer for himselfe, concerning the crims laid against him.mmAct. 25, 15, 16.Acts 25:15Acts 25:16

Iune 3. 1647. She told the Relator, how the Lord prevented her ruine, about Feb. last, viz. That one night she watched till her Mother was asleep; and then stole out softly from her, taking the key of the buttery doore; which shee opened, went in, and locked it to her, taking the key with her, so to make surer her dispatch without lett: and there being p. 128a window to the House-tiles, she crept out, (to do like Iudas, so cast her self down to dissolve her selfe;) and in the dark she saw there a fire, and Satan as a roaring Lyon in it: yet still being perswades (through his delusion) there was no other hell, but that she felt in her conscience; she went within a quarter of a yard of the edge, being ready to leap down, when none should see or hear her; and nor was no creature to hinder; then was this spoken to her distinctly; Thou shalt not fall down, and burst asunder, as Judas did, and so dishonour God that make thee. VponUpon this, the sight vanished, as if it never has been: and she fell not down, being thus kept from it; and sate down by the chimney there; and after a while, beat her head against it, till it sweld abundantly: and the more she dashed it, (then, and at other times,) the lesse she felt it. Her tender Mother awaking, missed her, and sought about, and cause one to breake open that buttery door: and cry out, and there found her Daughter; who has not power then to leape downe from her; but when her Mother would have her come in at the windovv, she tumbled down, her head falling on the bricks: which, with other such hurts before and after, (she oft so beating her head,) was one occasion of her head and eyes so great weaknesse of late.

After that desparate attempt, she had secretly got a knife, and hidde it, to dispatch her selfe withall and then was she glad, and not so troubled: so that p. 129her Mother hoped shee was now better. And on a Munday morning, shee desired of her Mother, to heare the Lecture at night by M^r Carter at Fishstreet-hill, and first entreated shee might goe see a neighbour; which her Mother granted, hoping she now might trust her to goe. That neighbour not being within, it was cast in her mind to go to Lambeth-Marsh, (which shee had also purposed in the morning,) there to dispatch her selfe: and therefore had shee taken the knife with her. Over the bridge shee thus went, and quickly came to Lambeth-Marsh; There shee went towards the Trees, and saw them dry without leaves, or fruit; and thought, so was her soule, as they. She sate down by a ditch; and studied whether she should drown her selfe in Thanies, or there? and concluded there; because there it was more private, that none might hinder her. Then shee thought, (as shee had often thought on the like sad occasion,) shee must like Iudas, first repent, & then**Mat. 27.Matt 27 undo her selfe: as if that would serve. Whilst shee was about this, two that seem'd to be Ministers, saw her sitting there alone, came to her, and asked her, how shee did, (for now they saw her weeping;) and why shee sate there? Shee had no power to conceale it, but said; I am not well, I am as sad a Creature as any on earth. I see my condemnation, and nothing els. I cannot be well, till I have taken away my life.

Min.

Whither were you going?

S. Ans.

I had thoughts of hearing M^r Carter in Fish-street-Hill.

p. 130Min.

This is not a place for such a one to sit in: and by Gods help, we will bring you thither. So thither they brought her. But as shee went, It was put in her minde to goe thence that night to the Dog-house, (shee had heared of) in Moorfields, there to offer her selfe to the Dogs, to eate her up, that her Mother might never heare of her more. But at the Sermon her Mother seeking her, espied her: and shee againe hid her selfe beyond others: but her Mother againe found her, and had her home. This was but about a MonethMonth before April 6. beforesaid, of her deliverance.

Iune 8. being Tuesday the Lecture-day there, (where M^r Ed: Richardson of Yorkshire the Relators friend, was desired to preach:) upon occasion of two Passages in his Sermon, two Questions were put to her. (Her answers were suitable to his resolutions.)

Qu. 1.

Whether persons that rightly beleeve in Christ, doe not first feel their great need of him?

S. Ans.

The Gospel is the Ministery of the Spirit. He convinceth of sin, because they beleeved not: and what great need they have of Christ: and till then, they never rightly beleeve. I have found it hath been so with me. No sin is like the sin of unbeliefe. The enemy is the Grand enemy of the soul: that sin, is the Grand sin of the soul. Though it be the great sin of all, and the damning sin; That yet Iesus Christ should not onelyonly bid such a one beleeve, but give it to beleeve, it is to be admired.

2. Quest.

Whether many are not worse, by hearing p. 131the Gospel of Grace in Christ to the ungodly, and chiefest of sinners?

S. Ans.

Many are worse, and many are better. The yy1 Pet. 1. 25.1 Pet 1:25Word by the Gospel is to be preached to the world of sinners; that is, the Word which became flesh zzJoh. 1. 14.John 1:14. That Christ came not to be ministred unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for manyaaMar. 10 45.Mark 10:45. He is not to be ministred unto by workes of our righteousnesse, or our preparing our selves first for him, or any worthinesse in our selves, but to minister, that is, to supply our wants: first the Spirit, and therewith, righteousnesse, peace, and joy; which make an empty soule, full indeed; and to give his life, not so sell it to them that hauehave money, but to give it, to them that have none: his life, no lesse price: a ransome for us bondslaves: that were in bondage, to Satan, sin, and corruption: for many, for a numberles number, that none can number; so they are indeed, if all be gathered together: though but a few in comparison of the rest: for many are called, but few are chosenbbMar. 20. 16.. Its there, for many; here for few. Many are called by the word to Beleeve, and to Repent: all, where the Gospel comes: but few are called out of their sinfull state.

Iune 10.47. It being now above 75. dayes since she did eat at all: and full 65. dayes since shee did sip or drink two dayes together, her drink being onelyonly fair water for about twenty dayes: and since that, some small beer: and both these onelyonly at once p. 132still in two, three, or four dayes; of late in four or five dayes once; and then no more till about so long after; (shee having never been able to stirre out of bed, since April 6. being 65. dayes, through her great weaknesse, especially in her head, by her so beating it against walls in her Terror:) and now shee being very weak, unlikely to live, unlesse shee took somewhat; [except he who so miraculously had upheld her so long, should hold out the same great power and goodnes still unto her; shee not having taken so much as a sip of any thing at all, for four or five dayes last, nor so much as moistened her mouth or lips in all that time: and had enjoyed very little rest, for a week together, or more:] The Relator perceiving it now, (as from time to time formerly) spake to her about eating or drinking somewhat.

S. Ans.

I am not hungry nor thirsty.

Rela.

I have sometime neglected my body, till I saw I must not wrong the Temple of the Holy Ghostcc1 Cor. 3. 17.1 Cor 3:17: and then I durst not but eat, though I had no mind to it; because tis an ordinary means of preserving life and health.

S. Ans.

I cannot do it; I do not abstain out of wilfulnesse, for I would if I could: nor have I any command or temptation in my spirit against it, as if I should not: but it is, because I cannot. When I have tried, I am the worse by it, I cannot digest it, and the smell of it hurts me.

The Relator durst not then further urge her: and being ready to depart; Shee entreated his visiting p. 133some of the despairing soules, that had been with her; and to pray for them: and for her selfe, that shee might quietly submit to the will of God, to live or dye; for she found not such contentednesse to live, as she desired, but rather longing to be dissolved, to be with Christ, which was best of al for her. (Phil. 1. 23.)

So lie left her more drooping, weak, and pensive, then at any time; shee now to the eye of man, drawing neer to death, as he apprehended, and was much affected with it; & spake of it to some.

☞But yet remembring some expressions of Faith, that she had uttered before, touching the raising up of her body, as well as her soule (pag. 33. 35.) he had hopes the Lord would yet raise up her body, to the praise of his Name, and the refreshing of others, that are despairing, disconsolate soules.

And now behold and see the LORDS doing: for it is marvailous, and worthy to be remembred.

That day, and untill about ten of the Clock at night, & all that week before-going, especially (on, &) since Tuesday beforesaid, she had these words following her, and still as it were spoken to her again & again: viz. With long life will I satisfie him. (Ps. 91. 16.) At first she took it to be meant of Eternall life in glory, and rejoyced in it. But when it was opened to her, to be also of long life here: Shee thought, that would not satisfie her; and therefore she would not regard it: being so desirous to be absent from the body, and to be present p. 134with Jesus Christ. 2 Cor. 5.8. a little glimpse of him that shee felt, was so sweet, shee so desired the full fruition of him, that shee was not so contented to live, as was meet: and as now (having a sight of it) shee desired prayer for her, that shee might be; and that she might quietly lie down at the feet of God, to do with her as he would: that shee might not be so weary of the condition the Lord allotted to her. About ten at night, this came in, as if it had been whispered to her soule from God; Thou hast not wearied me with thy sacrifices; but thou hast wearied me with thy sins: Yet I, even I am he, that blotteth out thy transgressions, for mine owne Names sake aaIsa. 43.22.25.Isa 43:22Isa 43:25; and will remember them no more for ever: no not for ever. Thou art mine, my bbCant. 7. 10.Song 7:10desire is towards thee. I will ccHos. 14. 4.Hos 14:4heal thy backslidings; I love thee freely, I forgive all thy sins for my Names sake; as though they had never been committed. Come and see, how I have loved thee! How I have ever loved thee! Behold and admire this love of mine. Fathom this sea of my love if thee canst, which drownes the multitude of thy sins: and see how I have ever loved thee from eternity, with an endlesse, boundlesse, and everlasting ddJer. 31 3Jer 31:3love: the number of thy sins, and multitude of thy transgressions against me, shall never be able to seperate the eeRo. 8 35-39.Rom 8:35–39union that I have made between thee & me.

This manifestation exceedingly melted her heart; and the more abased her soule before him: And shee said; Lord, What will thou have me to doe? p. 135It was answered, as that to Paul, [Act. 22. 10.] Arise and go into Damascus, and there it shall be told thee what thou shalt do: So (it was given her to understand that) shee must arise from that sinfull condition, and goe, out of her selfe, to Christ, and he would tell her what shee must doe. And as he said to Paul, (Act. 26. 16.) Rise, and stand upon thy feet: For I have appeared to thee for this purpose, to be a Minister and a witnes, both of the things thou hast seen, and in which I will appeare unto thee. So God had bid her Arise, and he had raised her soul from the lowest hell; and now he perswaded her, that he will raise up her body also: that she might be a Witnesse of the Grace of God, to minister to others, what he had administred unto her. And that as Paul should be a witnes, both of the sufferings of Christ for him, and of his own sufferings for the Name of Christ: So shee should be a witnes of both in like manner: and set to her seale, that God is true, in whatsoever he hath spoken, and cannot deny himselfe. And as Paul, when he was to live, and to suffer many things; He said, None of these things move me, neither count I my life deare unto my selfe, so that I may finish my course with joy, and the Ministery. (Act. 20. 24.) So she must not count her life dear to her self, no not her being with Christ, which is far better then this life being confident, that shee should finish her course with joy: and now shee must testifie and minister that Grace of God that shee had received, unto others.

p. 136Other places of ministring to others were brought into her, besides that of Paul. Another was of Peters wives Mother, Mark. 1. 30. Anon they tell Iesus of her: and he came and took her by the hand, and lift her up: and immediately the feaver left her: and shee ministred unto them. Not to Christ onelyonly, but to others. And so must shee. As Christ himselfe came, not to be ministred unto, but to minister. Mark. 10. 45.

A Third place was, Luk. 5. 20. 25. where Christ said to the man that was sick of the Palsey; Man, thy sins are forgiven thee. There he first cured the soule; and then the body, saying, Arise, and take up thy Couch. And he arose, and went, and glorified God; declaring to others what God had done for him. And so must shee.

Besides those three or foure places of ministring to others, there were six places more brought to her, of such as Iesus Christ raised up by his power: and they were set on with power on her soule. One was Luk. 7. 14. Christ said to the Widows son, Young man, I say to thee, Arise: and he that was dead, sate up, and began to speak. Yet shee desired, if shee might have a place to her more particular. Then was given in that in Luk 8. end; where Christ said; Maid, arise. And after that a third place, Mark. 10. 49. It was said to the blind man by Christs Disciples; Be of good comfort; rise, He calleth thee. He called, that won'd make him whole every whit. (This was suitable to her whose eyes were so weak, and dim.

p. 137A fourth place, Act. 9. 34. Peter said to AEneas, Iesus Christ maketh thee whole, and he arose immediately.

A fift place was, Act. 3.6. In the**So Name is put for power there, Act. 4.7.10.Acts 4:7Acts 4:10 Name of Iesus Christ of Nazareth, arise and walk: and he arose immediately, and leaped, and praised God: So thou in the **So Name is put for power there, Act. 4.7.10.Acts 4:7Acts 4:10power, and efficacy of the power of Iesus Christ of Nazareth, arise and walk; Iesus Christ maketh thee whole. Then had shee Faith given her, and Power instantly, that shee could arise: but her Mother being asleep in the bed with her, shee forbare, till her Mother did awake in the morning.

Yet there came one place more, (more full, more particular, and more familiar,) Mark. 5. end, Talitha cumi; Damsell, I say to thee, Arise; and straightway shee arose, and walked. And he commanded that somewhat should be given her to eate. Here was her Eating, Arising, & Walking. And a full perswasion was given her therewith, that so it should be with her selfe. Thus shee lay, fully confirm'd therein; not sleeping that night at all, but enjoying sweet communion with God, till the morning. And Iune 11. when her Mother awoke, and was arising, shee spake to her, with teares in her eyes, being grieved that (through that foresaid pensivenes) shee had not spoken a word to her Mother, and thereby might offend her; entreating her pardon; which was sooner granted, then asked. Then shee declared what sweet refreshings the Lord had given in, p. 138that night, with power to her soule, in behalfe of her bodies restoring: and named the severall places beforesaid, the Chapter and verse, as they were given in to her that night, so as they never had been given in to her in all her life before; desiring the Maid that tended her, to turne to the Scriptures, one by one; which shee did; and read them, to the last: Shee declaring what power came with the words into her: the last place, being, Damsell, I say to thee Arise, — and he commanded that somewhat should be given to her to eate. So now shee desired, they would give her somewhat to EAT. It being demanded what? Shee would they should give her some broiled fish. Which was a strange expression to them, from her, that had not eat a crumme of bread, or other meat, in 76. dayes; nor so much as wet her lips for the last four or five dayes. But shee speaking with such power and evidence, they beleeved. Fish was got, and broild, and brought to her: and shee with joy in the Lord, did eat of it heartily before them. And said; Shee did eat it, because Iesus Christ had sweetened it before: Therefore she said, shee found as much savour, and satisfaction, and delight in it, as if shee had all the dainties and delights in the world in one: So was this unto her.

Having eaten, and been refreshed, and blessed the Lord; (not finding the least distemper or inconvenience at all thereby;) Then shee called for her cloaths, (who had not been able to arise, no nor to hold up her head any while in the bed, p. 139since the sixt of Aprill to this 11^th of Iune, being 66. days:) Her cloaths being given her, shee put them on, and arose, and stood on her feet, and sate down in the Chamber, joyfull in the Lord, receiving no hurt thereby. When shee cald for the Fish, (as shee said,) shee had this apprehension cast into her: Thou hast fasted long; thou shalt fast no longer; it was but to make my power known to the sons of men, what I have done, and what I can doe. (2 Cor. 12.9.)

Thus the Lord gave a prolonging of her life, by Faith in the Name of Iesus Christ of Nazareth. Thus by faith shee did Eat, and Arise; and beleeved she should Walk also. The two former shee did that instant Iune 11. The third was reserv'd to try her and others, till the Lord should see fittest.

[About the same time of Iune beforesaid, the Relator heard of one H. T. that then had great enjoyments of God, and could not take in a crumme or sip of the creatures, for full six dayes together; yet being in bodily health. It being beleeved by many good people, the Relator desired to speak with the party, who is of approved godlines; and did; and was certified thereby of the truth thereof, viz. from Iun. 9. the end, till the beginning of Iun. 16. 1647. And that both in that time, and before, the Lord had given in severall discoveries of things to come. Some particulars whereof were then related, (viz. Iun. 19.) It seemed strange to him. Yet he durst not then reject it, being related in a tender modest manner, exalting God therein. Since this he hath recalled.

p. 1401. That its no where said in Scripture, that Prophecy, or Miracles, or Knowledge are ceased.

2. That M^r Fox in the Book of Martyrs, cites many Miracles wrought, and Prophecies uttered, both in the first hundred of yeeres after the Apostles, and in the second, third, fourth, fifth, and so on to his time. The like do Eusebius, Socrates, and other Ecclesiasticall approved Authors, unto their times. M^r Fox cites Prophecies of late times, revealed to Iohn Hus, to Martin Luther, yea and to himselfe. Besides other experiences he hath known of.

3. He hath weighed severall Scriptures, that seem to hold out such things; as, Iob. 16. 8. 13. I will send the Comforter, and he shall convince of sin, of righteousnesse, &c.—And he will shew you things to come: and Act. 11. 28. Act. 21. 11. 9. Agabus, and Philips daughters prophecied, Act. 2. 13. 16, 17.— 33. 38, 39. with Iob. 7.38. 1 Cor. 12.8. 10. 28. 31. 1 Cor. 14.1. &c. Hence he feared to judge or speak ill of what he knew not, and had no experience of in himselfe: But rather judged, he should try the Spirits whether they are of God, because false Prophets are in the world, 1 Joh. 4. 1. Rev. 2. 2. And should admire the Lord in his grace to worthles wormes: and should pray for the accomplishment of the aforesaid Scriptures; as the Disciples prayed thus; Now Lord, behold their threatnings, and grant to thy servants, that with all boldnes they may speak thy word; (the meanes thereof followeth,) by stretching forth thy hand to heal: and that signes and wonders may be p. 141done by the Name (or power) of thy holy childe Iesus, Act. 4. 29, 30. & Luk. 17. 5, 6.]

To return: M^ris Sarah Wight arose from bed, and sate up daily, from Iune 11. till the 25. being Midsommer quarter day. Yet shee remained weak. Her Mother and her selfe before Iun. 25, desired that such as had sought the Lord for her, might solemnly Praise the Lord with her, for so answering prayer, for her soule and body. It was concluded to be Iun. 26. When, behold, the Lord gives in the third mercy before beleeved and hoped for, the very day foregoing it; that their mouths might be the more fild with the High Praises of God, for this addition, viz. that by Faith shee was strengthened, (as before to eat, and to Arise: so) now to WALK. And thus it was, (as her selfe related it the same day, viz. Iun. 25. 1647.) The night before it, shee was very ill, till about two in the morning. Then was it hinted into her spirit, that formerly the Lord had promised to her, that shee should Arise, and Walk and eat: And as he had performed two of them, in causing her to ARISE, and to EAT; so now he was to fulfill the Other, in causing her to WALK. Then severall Scriptures were brought in to her, with life and power: amongst others, these; Act. 3. 6. Peter said to the Criple, In the Name of Iesus Christ of Nazareth, arise and walk: and immediately he received strength; and stood and walked, and praised God.

Another was Iob. 5. 8. Iesus said to the man at p. 142the Pool, Rise and walk: and immediately the man was made whole, and walked. Another was Dan. 10. 17-19. When Daniel was weak, one from God touched him, and said, O man greatly beloved, feare not, Peace be unto thee; Be strong, yea be strong. He was weak in Spirit, and in body; and here it is twice said, Be strong: and now he was strengthened in body as well as in spirit; and he said, Let my Lord speak, for thou hast strengthened me.

Another place was, Cantic. 2. 10, 11. Rise up my love, my faire one, and come away. For the winter is past. (With this Paraphrase) The winter of afflictions, and temptations is past; and the summer of joy and consolation is come: and the Sunne of righteousnesse is risen, which makes it a summer indeed.

The last place hinted in, was Ephes. 3. 16. That he would grant, according to the riches of his Glory; to be strengthened with might by his Spirit, in the inner man. This (said shee, in relating it in the morning,) was spoke to me; and I did beleeve it was so absolutely. And as Daniel was strengthened immediately; So was I strengthened immediately: and was vile, and would be more vile in mine own eyes, that the Lord alone may be exalted.

Thus shee told her Mother, and another Christian friend: and said shee had received strength.

Having declared this, with joy in the Lord, in the morning, Iun. 25, being Midsummer day, 1647. then shee her selfe opened her head and scombed it: p. 143which shee durst not suffer to be done the day before, no nor for about twenty-four weeks before; because it was so exceeding weak and ill, through her so beating it in her former terror, that shee feared it would not hold well together, if it were opened: and of late shee had not bodily strength to do it, till that morning. And now, having dressed it, shee neither fainted, nor got cold thereby: but desiring her Mother, with the Maid, to call on the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; shee got up immediately, and stood on her feet, and WALKED, Praising the Lord. Shee not having walked, nor had so much bodily strength, in fourscore dayes before: namely, not since that sixt of Aprill beforesaid.

Thus the Lord the more fitted her for rendring Praise to his Name the day following: And hereby he gave in to her friends, greater encouragement, and the more occasion of High Praises to our God.

Iun. 26. the day appointed thereto being come, there met together M^r Barker Minister in Garlick hill London, and the Relator, M^r Sprig, M^r Brag, and M^r Isaac Knight, lately of Holland, with many other Christian friends, to magnifie the Lord with them. It was a sweet and joyfull day to many there assembled: Much of God was seen therein.

The Party walked down, from an upper, to a middle-roome, the place prepared for the dutie; shee being veiled; the Lord having made her the more low in her own eyes, and having the more p. 144melted and humbled her soul, by the greatnes of his goodnes towards such an one: (which frame, the Lord continue to the end.)

The Occasion of the meeting was declared; Many of the most materiall of the former passages of the Lords speciall providence, being related, in a way to exalt the LORD alone, and not a worthlesse Creature.

Praises were then rendred to the Name of the Lord, which is exculted **Neh. 9. 5.Neh 9:5above all blessing and Praise. In speciall with respect to this mercy, to soule and body: and to the Glorious Attributes of God, manifested herein.

Some Instructions were also given, for some direction and furtherance herein, both to the Party her selfe, and to her Mother, and to all present. Amongst others, some from 2 Chron. 32. 25. But Hezekiah rendred not againe, according to the benefit done unto him; for his heart was lifted up; therefore there was wrath upon him.

Whence was observed:

1. That the mercies of God, require rendrings unto God: rendring the glory thereof to him.

2. That the measure of rendring back, that the Lord looks should be endeavoured, is, according to the benefit done to them.

3. That all neglect of thanks or rendring againe, springs from pride, or the lifting up of the heart, thats the root.

4. That the Lords choice servants, are very subject p. 145the fearefull sinnes of pride and unthankefulnesse.]

5. That the wrath of God is against [pride and unthankefulnes: The Lord takes it heavily, when his people walk [proudly or] unthankfully. The first was then insisted upon; which being opened, confirmed, and applied; and Praises further rendred, with prayer suitable: there was then a time of bodily refreshing in a cheerfull manner, after the middle of the day, eating and drinking of what was sweet and pleasant: aa(Neh. 8. 10.)Neh 8:10that it might not be as a day of Fasting.(bbJoel 2.12. 14.Joel 2:12Joel 2:14) This was but short, and moderate; that it might be no hinderance, but rather a furtherance to the main work then intended. Having eaten, and blessed the Lord; further Instructions were given from the words of our Lord Jesus to his owne Disciples, in Luke 10.20. In this rejoyce not that the Spirits are made subject to you: but rather rejoyce, that your Names are written in Heaven. Where is held out to us:

1. That evil Spirits have been made subject to Christ Disciples. [and so they shall be,ccMar. 16. 17.Mark 16:17dd1 Cor. 6. 3.]1 Cor 6:3

2. That the Prime cause of rejoycing is, that one knows, his Name is written in Heaven. He is known there what he is, he is of esteem there, hee hath interest there, and happinesse there.

3. That even the Disciples of Iesus Christ, are prone to be carnall or fleshly in rejoycing: and not so spirituall as is meet.

p. 146Praises (with prayer) again and again being rendred in the Name of Jesus Christ; and those for whom nothing is prepared, beeing remembred; (Neh. 8. 10.) and Conclusion being made; the Assembly in convenient time was dismissed; many being greatly refreshed in the Lord, who had thus exalted his great and glorious Name, in causing LIGHT, thus to shine out of DARKNES, restoring her soul from so deep despair: and thus wonderfully raising up her body, that had been long, to the eye of reason, ready to see corruption: And as her Brother M^r Ionathan Vaughan, before her sowls enlargement, had writ from Oxford, confidently, that Iesus Christ would deliver her: (as is touched before in pag. 5.) So he having been brought to London by a good providence just at that time, to see it done, (as pag. 25. and 29.) when he was returned to Oxford before the end of April 1647. He writ thence; That he made no doubt, but the Lord would restore her body also to its perfect health; though then it drew not to death: His words were these:

Most dear Mother, I am constrained to confess with thankfulnesse, that it was an Almighty Providence, indulgent to me, which brought me home to you in a most seasonable and acceptable time: in which have both heard and seen the goings forth of the Love towards my choice and precious Sister, to be in love, mercy, and peace. The strong man is dispossessed by stronger, Christ (the hope of Glory,) now reigning in her. I make no doubt, but the Great Physician, the p. 147good Samaritan, who hath poured out into her wounded Conscience his wine and oyle; will restore her body to its perfect health: whereby shee may be able in the land of the living to declare the Riches of the free Grace and love of God, to poor sinners. I came safe to Oxford, I praise God, &c.]

Iune 30 being the Monethly Fast-day, she went to Great Alhallows London, (it being neer Lawrence Pountney) and heard Mr Io. Simpson there, [hee having known her soul in adversity, was desired to have helped there in the Day of Praises; but was hindered by his Preaching that day elsewhere; M^r. Prime the Minister of Lawrence Pountney had an impediment, that hindered him also, where he was desired. [After the Fast-days Sermons were ended, her heart was drawn out to goe to two women, that were in deepe despaire, for refreshing them by the comforts she had received, being greatly affected with their sad conditions: And the day following, being Iuly 1. she so went, to another woman in like condition: (one of the former women, and this, having been with her severall times of late, since her soul was comforted:) By speaking much to them, and by going so farre, (about a mile (to and fro) this day, and about as farre the day before,) shee was much wearied and spont; so that her body was in some weaknesse, for some dayes after. And this was the more encreased by the resortings to her daily, of many in London, p. 148who would draw out expressions from her, to her further spending of her small strength. Hence, that shee might bee the more retired, and recover strength, for further service among the little ones, that are afflicted, &c. her tender Mother hath procured for her a place in the Countrey neer a friend there, a few miles distant from London. The LORD hath given her to enjoy much of himself in the City: as much may he give, hath he given her in the Countrey. We cannot leave her better, then in these enjoyments, which are a Christians ALL IN ALL.

Before that her retire into the Conntrey, the night before Iuly 4. which was the First day of the week, called the Lords day, (it being but three dayes before her removall into the Countrey,) shee had a Dream or Vision; which left so deep an impression on her Spirit, that after she arose, she wrote it down, and related it to her Mother, and to the Maid; by whom the Relator hearing of it, asked her about it, and desired to see the writing: The substance of it was this:

On Saturday-night last, I was in a Dream, in great terror, and so quaked, that the bed did shake under me. I so wept, that my face was wet, when I awoke. I apprehended my self violently hurried down a very steep hill; and being therewith terrified, it was darted into me presently, that it was the Hill where the swine that were possessed with Legion, ran down violently into the Sea, that was at bottome of that steep place. And as I was thus hurrying down the same, I saw as p. 149I apprehended Horses, red and white, and black, and of some other colour, were running down before me. And being thus carried downe a great way, and through the depth of it and darkness that was, I could see no bottom of it; being overcome thereby, I cryed out to God, Lord help, I perish, I perish; I am not able I am not able to go down it. And wept. A voice presently answered me, I am able to carry thee upon Eagles wings.aaEx. 19.4Exod 19:4) And instantly, one like the appearance of a man, (but the Glory of him was so great, I cannot express it; he) came, and took me in his armes; and carried me down to the bottom of the hill. And then he said to me concerning the the appearance of the bbAs good Angles are sent to and fro, Zach. 1. 8.10. So bad ones go to and fro in the earth. Iob. 1. 7. 1 Pet. 5. 8.Zech 1:8Zech 1:10Job 1:71 Pet 5:8Horses, that were hurried down before me; These are all thy spirittual enemies; and I have trampled them under my feetRom. 16. 20.Rom 16:20 And then he carried me in his armes up to the top of the hill: and then, and not till then, he told me the reason why he carried me, first down to the bottom of the hill, saying; I could have carried thee at first to the top, and not to the bottome: but thus I did, that thou maist prize the mercy the more, in delivering thee from the lowermost hell: and that thou maist prize Heaven the more. And he further said, I have gone before thee, and have made crooked places straight before thee, and have broken in pieces the gates of brasse, and have cut in sunder the barrs of iron: I have done it for thee. He that carried me, and spake thus to me, p. 150was so glorious, that its beyond what I can expresse. VponUpon this I awoke, my cheeks being wet with weeping. And considering and musing about this; immediately this was brought to mind: Wherein have I made thee accepted? Is it not in my beloved Son, in whom my soul delighteth? (Mat. 3.17. Eph. 1.6.)

The Glory of this was so great, she could not tell how to set it forth: and then was it brought to minde, that it is called in the Scripture, Riches of Glory, Ephes. 1. 18. Riches of his Glory, Eph. 3. 16. Glory of his Grace, Eph. 1.6. Riches of his Grace, Eph. 1. 7. Exceeding riches of his grace, Ephes. 2.7. In the morning the caused Hannah Guy, the Maid that attended on her, to turn to the places, and to read them.

The Relation hereof was taken as is before-said, the 7^th of Iuly, 1647. being the day of her going from London into the Countrey, (to High-gate,) to be the more retired, that here was daily tyred or wearied out, by many, especially afflicted ones in spirit, that daily resorted to her. (An honoured friend, that would not be named, affording her the courtesie of the Coach, for her better conveyance.)

The LORD having thus far carried on his owne glorious work in an Earthen Vessel, and brought things to such a sweet period; wee may Conclude with joy in the Lord; having heard herein of his so notable and marvellous a work: of one he hath brought from the jawes of hell, to the p. 151joyes of Heaven: from such Terrors (so occasioned) to such perfecting of praise, out of the mouth of a Babe: enabling such an one now, so to improve and make use of the holy Scriptures; to despairing souls, and otherwaies. Raising up not onelyonly her soul, but her body also so wonderfully, by FAITH in his Son.

And now, Is this nothing to you, O ye that pass by, you that read, or that stand, or sit by? Is there nothing that the Lord hereby speaks to your heart? Mic. 6. 9. The LORDS voice cryeth to the Citie, and the Man of wisdom shall see thy Name: hear ye the Rod, and who hath appointed it. Hath the Rod a voice? Doth the rod of affliction speak to thee? Dost thou hear what it saith? And doth this Work of Gods wisdom and mercy speak nothing to thy soul? If thou wouldst desire to make the best use thereof, but seest, thou art not such a man or woman of Wisdom, as to see and hear so fully as thou desirest what it may speak to thee; What honey may drop to thee out of this Rock: And therefore thou desirest to be helped herein, What benefit may come to us from this consideration?

Ans. Much every manner of way, if the Lord will please by his Spirit to put an edge to it, and to set it home to our hearts with a strong hand.

1 Vse. Seing the Works of God declare his Glory, and are for our edifying, as truly, and as well, as any other Ordinance, as Psal. 19. 1. Psal. 8. 3, 4. Psal. 145. 5, 6, 7, 10.) [I say not, as much as the p. 152word, Psal. 138. 2. but as truly, and so as well as it, Psal. 19.1—7, 8. Rom. 1.16.20. Act. 14.17. Act. 17. 26, 24.27. Act. 8.4, 5, 6, 7. Act. 10.35.42.]

1. That therefore, the Lords speciall works the workings of his Holy Spirit, being honorable and majesticall, are to be sought out (as most precious things) of all that have pleasure or delight in them, Psal. 111.2, 3. Seing he hath done them to be remembred; Why then is there a slacknesse in any of us, (who professe we delight in God and love him,) to search out such speciall works as these, when we hear some hint of them? Thus robbing God of that honour, and our selves of that good, that might have accrued thereby: and shewing our selves like the brutish man, Psal. 92. 5, 6. Psal. 28. 4, 5. Isa. 26.11.

2. Vse. That we think not strange if we hear of some in deep despair, and judge not hardly of such, as speak great things against themselves: but rather judge, what a burden is the least sin, if it be felt as tis indeed? This is the fruit of sin: such may bee neerer the enjoyment of mercy, then sinners in Zion, that are at ease: and then carelesse Daughters, Isa. 32.9.11. Isa. 33.7. Psal. 73.3, 4.14, 15.

3. Vse. To be a Caution and as a Warning-Piece both to all Superiours and Inferiours. 1. To all Superiours; whether Husbands, Parents, Masters, or any, Officers in State or Church, to beware of urging any, by any means, to doe, speake, subscribe, or an any thing against their Conscience, or with a doubting p. 153Conscience: though themselves are perswaded of the lawfulnesse of the thing, as it was with her superior: but yet as you have heard (pag. 7.) this was one of the first chief occasions of this so terrible a condition to this lately afflicted handmaid, for divers yeeres, and was no small occasion of trouble to the said superior afterwards.

2. Branch. The like Caution it may be also, to all Inferiours, to wives, to children, to servants, flock, and subjects; against fearing man, that shall dye, more then the living God: and obeying man, rather then God, by doing, speaking, or acting of any thing, to please men; that the word or conscience shew, to be displeasing to God. Lest for your so doing, your terrors and punishment, may be as great, or greater then those of this hand-maid, for the like offence: Yea lest God tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver you, Psal. 50.22. and lest both you and your Commander repent, when it is too late.

I heard of a Maid in Suffolk, whose Parents feared she should grow too pure and precise: and on a Lords day evening, the Mother bid her do some work: which she judging unlawfull, (or at least doubting of,) entreated to be spared in it; but her Father threatning to beat her, she did it, and the next morning she kept her bed; and so did shee many weeks together upon it; being terrified in Conscience, for her preferring man before God: being unfit for work, it repented her Parents, and her p. 154self too, too late: I never could hear that she got any comfort.

Also a young Gentleman, being a scholar, of whose deep despairing of ever being saved, and of his strong perswasion that he should be damned, Master Case, Master Whitakers, Master Chr. Love, and the Relator, with many other Preachers and Christians, had notice, and sad observation. His Father a Gentleman in the Countrey, brought him up to London to procure some to speak to him, and to pray for him, having him present with them. This Christian duty was solemnly performed by those before-named, and by others, in several solemn daies of Fasting and Prayer. The beginning and chief first moving cause of those so sad perswasions was, because of the Oaths and Subscriptions imposed by the Governours in the Vniversity, which he submitted to (with the multitude that stuck not at them,) though he had his Conscience warning him; yet thus doubtingly, or against his Conscience, he yeilded to the Ordinances of his Superiours. But his thus doing brought great sorrow on his own soul, and on his Parents and friends that sympathized with him. Amongst others, the Relator could more sympathize herein, then many others, in regard himselfe had been much afflicted in Spirit, for his Vniversity Oaths and Subscriptions: and yet had found though his sin abounded therein, (it being done with a staggering, (or worse, with a relucting) Conscience,) yet the nnRom. 5. 20.Rom 5:20Grace of God p. 155had the more abounded, and been magnified towards him, in manifesting that he had forgiven so soul and hainous sins.

After all meanes used with this young Gentleman, many severall daies, he returned home more wounded and terrified; because so many had taken so much pains with him, and he was no whit better; and therefore far the worse in his account; as he shew'd after his returne home, in many sad Letters, in black lines, to the Relator; and because he could write no other language, but the language of hell, (as he said) he therefore would cease to weary him with it. And so he ceased writing. And although since that time, the Lord hath given him hopes of his love in pardoning his sins, and transgressions; yet these sad examples, (and many moe of like nature that might be produced,) may suffice for a Warning to Heads and Governours in Vniversities, and Corporations; and to all Magistrates, Officers, Masters, Husbands, and Parents, all Superiours whatsoever; to beware of laying on heavie burdens, by ooSeeing OATHS should be given and taken onelyonly in such cases, and in such ritae and forme, as is warranted by the word, of God (viz. in truth righteousness, and judgement, Ier. 4 2. Revel. 10. 5, 6Jer 4:2Rev 10:5Rev 10:6Oaths, Subscriptions, or Commands, on any persons; whose Consciences when they are distressed, they are never able to relieve or release, from Hellish continual fears and torments. (Psal. 50. 22. Matth. 27.3, 4.)To be an end ef all strife. Hebrewes 6. 16.) Because of Oaths (so frequent not warranted) this land mourneth. Ier. 23. 10 Oh that Reformamation were herein, as in all things, else!Jer 23:10

And for all Persons, to keep p. 156the heart and Conscience, above aaProv. 4.23. Hebrew. Luk. 12.4, 5, Act. 5.29. Luk. 14.26, 27. 2 Tim. 4 12, 13. Heb. 10.26, 27.Prov 4:23Luke 12:4Luke 12:5Acts 5:29Luke 14:26Luke 14:272 Tim 4:122 Tim 4:13Heb 10:26Heb 10:27all keeping; Fearing God, above all

Fiftly, Learn hence to fly Censuring the most vile and desperate of all sinners. Say not, they and Reprobates, though they are damn'd already in their own perswasion; as this Party was. So was M^ris Honywood, M^ris Drake, &c. and yet obtained merciemercy.

Sixtly, Be not weary therefore of using all good means for help to such as are hopeless and desparate as these parties were. The Lord may come in the last hour. He is not weary nor bbIsa. 40.28.Isa 40:28faint in seeking your good daily. However yourcc1 Cor. 15. 58.1 Cor 15:58 labour of love is accepted of the Lord.

Seventhly, Limit not the Holy One of Israel any outward means whatsoever; seeing he gave the Party Faith and glorious joy in himself, when she was struck deaf and blind; that till that deafness was as one in hell already. But rather believe the Proverb, Jehovah ijreh, Iehovah will be seen in the Mount ddGen. 22. 14.Gen 22:14.

Eightly, Exalt the Lord the CreatoreeIsa. 2. 11. Psal 8.1.2. Act. 3. 12.Isa 2:11Ps 8:1Ps 8:2Acts 3:12 alone, and not the Creature: Say not, What a one is shee? But, What a ffMic. ….18God is he? in all reading, and speaking, of her, or to her. For the Lord is jealous of his glory, and will notggIsa. 42.8.Isa 42:8 give it to an image of him.

p. 157Ninthly, Behold here, what's the most effectuall means of humbling the heart and melting it; and of furthering faith and love; and whats the greatest support and comfort in the greatest troubles and burdens about sin: namely, the discovery of the abundant hhEph. 2.4. Rom. 4.5Eph 2:4Rom 4:5Grace of God in justifying the ungodly; in giving his own Son to reconcile iiRo. 5. 6. 10; Isa. 53.5.Rom 5:6Rom 5:10Isa 53:5enemies; and the love kkEph. 3.19. Eph. 5.25. Ezek. 16.6.…2.Eph 3:19Eph 5:25Ezek 16:6Ezek 16:2of Christ, whilst we were in our sins, and had nothing in us that is lovely, that yet he so loved us, as that he gave himself for us.

Tenthly, and lastly, Let all such as read or heare these wonderfull dealings of the Lord herein; Consider how it is with their own soules.

First, If the Lord hath sealed thee by his Spirit to the day of Redemption: in the Spirit magnifie God, and feed on him, and on his Sons love daily, in the Gospel promises and priviledges: And the more thou hast received, be the more humble ll1 Cor. 4.7.1 Cor 4:7, and thankfull to God, and serviceable to him in mmIs. 116.12.the Power of his Son; and the more pittifull, and tender to others nnTit. 3.2.….Titus 3:2, considering thy self ooGal. 6.1.Gal 6:1.

Secondly, If thou hast no experience of such kinde of speakings of the Spirit to thee, or of such maner or measure of Faith as here is mentioned; (both of which the Relator wanting, waits for;) 1. Do not decry, or cry down what thou knowest not. a. Envy not others. 3. Be not dejected, because more is given to others, then to thee: But blesse the Lord in p. 158his various dispensations, that best knoweth what kinde and measure is meetest for all, (Mat. 25.15 Eph. 4.7—16.4.) Pray for more pourings out of his Spirit, upon his sons and daughters, as he hath promised to do in the last dayes, (Act. 2. 17. 33.38, 39 John. 7.38, 39.

Thirdly, If thou art of a sorrowfull spirit, by reason of sin; fearing, because it is so and so with thee, that there never was an effectuall work upon thy heart; finding such a power of sinne and corruption; such dulnes, coldnes, hardnes of heart, lazines filthines, pride, self-ishnes, or the like basenesse: Doth not thou so much backward, in toiling to make out the former worke, and still questioning about it, and how bad thou hast been, and art since; as forward, at that abundant GRACE herein magnified and ADVANCED to them that yet are a far off, without God, ungodly, enemies to him, to unfitted unprepared ones, to the CHIEFEST OF SINNERS.

Fourthly, If thou hast desires after full enjoyment of Jesus Christ, and some hopes that he is thine; but no assurance of it; Blesse the Lord, and be thankful to him, that hath done so much for thee, that did more desire sin and vanity. But rest not in such desires, but seek and presse hard for assurance.

And lastly, If thou hast long sought and waited for assurance that Christ is thine, and yet hast not attain'd it: 1. Beware of murmuring and quarrelling against God, and by this Example; seeing how grieve to her son & her murmuring hath been. 2. Despair not p. 159because she obtain'd mercy, that was so deep in that sin. 3. Wait humbly and patiently on the Lord, that hides himself, that thou maist still seek, and the more prize his mercy, when at last he shal manifest it to thy soule. For therefore will the LORD wait, that hee may be gracious to you: and therefore will hee bee exalted, that hee may have mercy upon you: For the LORD is a God of judgement. BLESSED are all they that wait for him, Isa. 30.18. A power to wait, is also from him that bids you wait, and promiseth, that they that murmured, shall learn doctrine, (Isa. 29.24.) And to put his law in our heart, Heb. 8.10. Namely, to enable us, to what hee commands us. THE GOD OF ALL GRACE, perfect the good work he hath begun in thee; (Phil. 1.6.) To him be all glory by Christ Jesus,**Greek. to - the age of ages, [Eph. 3.21.] AMEN.

From July 7. till the end of Septemb. 1647. she remained at High-gate, hoping then to returne to LONDON: having eaten no bread nor flesh at all, since March last; and but very little of any other sustenance, through the weaknesse of her stomach: and yet looks as well as formerly: At the writing hereof, in this second Edition, September 27, 1647. H. J.

FINIS.

End of the text · Henry Jessey, The Exceeding Riches of Grace (1647)