A Second Discourse About Re-Ordination, Discourse · Section 10
SECTION X.
I Have now done with this fair Adverſary in all things that may be a ſtumbling block to my pious Brethren, whoſe caſe I will ſuppoſe to be ſuch as makes this matter of Re-ordination to become neceſſary, to the exerciſe of their Miniſtry in their place; And in that neceſſity I am humbly perſwaded (with u… in mercy) that the Lord, who is pleaſed to bring them by his good providence into the ſame, will allow them to ſubmit to it, ſo long as their hearts and aims be ſincere to him in the doing. I know indeed, our S…irits are ready to …rhour frarful thoughts of the preſent growing Hierarchy, as if it were ſome angerous thing to yield to it, though no more than to …ee…ive an Impoſition of hands from it, in our caſe: But the memory only methinks of thoſe bleſſed Martyrs, Cranmer. Ridly, Lat…mer, Hooper, and ſuch late pious men as Lake, Hall, …her, who were all Biſhops of the ſame conſtitution wi…h ours now, ſhould remove ſuch kind of impreſſions; And …ar larger C…arity, at leaſt toward others, heal our miſ-givings toward our ſelves, when there are ſuch multitudes involved with us in the caſe: I hope verily there is no more evil in Reordination upon that account, than in Ordination, though it be indeed a very uncouth I …poſi…ion. Let every good man on Gods name, be fully perſwaded in his own mind (for I know not what the aboding of ſome mens hearts may mean) and take heed alſo to others, while he looks that there be weighty cauſe for what he does, leſt the offence that is taken by his Brethren, affect the Lord with a like diſpleaſure at it, and make him know, to his coſt, how wary he had need to walk in thoſe very things which are indifferent to him in their Nature, when they be dangerous perhaps in their example, for the ſake of others, at this tender ſeaſon. It may therefore after all this be ſaid to me, that while I am opening the Gate for my Brethren to paſs, it is as it were with the wrong hand, ſo that I cannot go through my own ſelf at the ſame whoſe Condition hath not been altogether ſuch as theirs, and as I plead for, to juſtifie a perſon in this thing. It is the old rule in our Metaphyſicks, Entianon ſunt multiplicanda ſine neceſſitate. And I muſt confeſs I was put on this thing on the ſudeen, and unremoved from my place, that is, before I was aware, and before it was need. Now I ſ…e what this honeſt Moniter adviſes (p. 2.) that a man ſhould have pectus praeparatum & conſequently not do a matter of this nature before he be better ſatisfied in every circumſtance, than I could probably ſo ſoon. I ſee more particularly, he bids me w…gh in the point of ſcandal (which hath indeed been ſore to me) whether I endeavoured firſt to ſatisfie my Brethren about me, which I have quoted before, And it appears in the over-haſtineſs, as he admoniſhes me likewiſe (p. 64.) a kind of virtual or interpretative juſtification of thoſe that require it (when I dare undertake only on the part of thoſe that ſubmit to it) And ſome prejudice to others alſo, by a petition to the King which might prevent it (p 70) for which I ſhould be ſorry indeed, if it were ſo: Beſides the failings in the Ground, or End, and manner of performance, which is apt to accompany Praecipitancy in all actions. As to all which, for ought I ſee, I muſt anſwer with acknowledgement, This witneſs is t…ue, as the Apoſtle ſpeaks, Tit. 1.13.
— Pudet haec oppobria nobis
Et dict potuiſſe & non potuiſſe refelli.
I muſt crave liberty therefore here to divide between my Opinion and my Fact. There is no neceſſity, when I juſtifie Re-ordination, and my Brethren in their ſubmiſſion thereunto, that I ſhould therefore become the Phariſee, and juſtifie my ſelf: I may acknowledge a curpability in my performance, and condemn it, through the failing of Circumſtances, when yet I maintain my cauſe, and my Brethren, who in the uprightneſs of their hearts may have done this thing & have peace in it. … dare not really ſay this was well in me, I will ſay rather, Quis intelligit errores ſuos, munda me Domine, a deflexione mea, There is no man, as well as I, but when a thing in the main ſeems to him lawful, may be miſtaken in the application thereof to his own condition. Humanum eſt errars, labi, decipi.
I confeſs I did not doubt in the leaſt when I did this, but that my former Ordination was valid, and in the taking this new upon me, I find it is like a double garment put on for the faſhion, and experiencedly proves uneaſie to be worn. I muſt needs ſay, I could never imagine, ſo ſmall a matter would have run ſo in my thoughts, as this hath done; it is indeed methinks to me, like a heavy Rugg upon my bed in the Summer, that to be under it makes me ſweat, and I cannot well go to my reſt till I have fairly juſtled it off again, when others perhaps, of a complexion more cool, may be glad they have it on. Let it ſuffice, I have ſhewn my good will toward conformity, land have enough for once. My judgement is ſtill as large as it was, but my heart is made afraid. I ſhall not ſtep a foot urther by Gods grace, henceforth than I ſee (or judge) my way ſ…fe, and my Soul clear.
I perceive that a Chriſtian is not only to weigh the matter he does conform to in theſe times, but he muſt weigh well alſo his own ſpi…, whether he can bear it, when he hath-done it. It is not enough that a thing is lawful or honestum, but that it be foreign alſo, decorum, what is fit, not baſe, not unworthy of him. I muſt confeſs in my apprehenſion, it is a thing not worthy of the S…iti… of a Chriſtian, who is not to be the ſervant of man, to be captivated barely to opinion and cuſtom, in ſuch petty things as Re-ordination in it ſelf ſeems to me to be; and it is me hinds to have ignoble thoughts of the Divine Nature, to think that God ſhould be moved at that which he hath neither commanded, nor forbidden, though he looks indeed at our ends in every thing that they be upright to him. As I ſhall thank God therefore, though I have born this part for the ſake of my Brethren, that upon my example they may not be held by ſuperſ…i…on againſt what is needful for their own condition and the yielding on neceſſity (we may judge) ſaves the guilt of conſent to the enjoyning:) So now I have done, and apprehend it not to be worthy without that need as to me, I can be content it be to me, but as Ieremics Girdle, that is, profit me nought, whiles I care not to look for any other advantage by it. Even as David when he had longed for the Waters of Bethlehem, and his Worthies had fetch'd it to him, he judged the thing ſo ill, to have hazarded the life of thoſe valiant men, upon ſuch an account, when it was not on neceſſiry, or for the ſaving of his own, that he laid this pennance, at juſt on that appetite of his, that cauſed it, to deny and croſs it, ſo that he would not drink thereof, but powred it upon the ground. I could willingly do ſomething the like with theſe Orders of mine, if I have hazarded any of my worthy Brethrens Conſciences by Scandal in the doing.
It is truly an irkſom thought ſometimes to me, to hear how ſome of our Biſhops do expect not only that a man ſhould be Re-ordained, but that we ſhould think our former Miniſtry to be null too, until that be done. If this indeed (as one might think) were perſonated only, it would vex a man to the heart, that ever any of us ſhould yield to be ſo un-ingeniouſly dealt withall; but when we ſee the real confidence with which they carry it, ſo that for ought I ſee, they do believe themſelves verily in it, inſomuch as ſome of them when they have done, have bid thoſe whom they have Re-ordained, to repent of their Miniſtring the Sacraments before, it may overcome out indignation methinks into a melting affection, or ſmile at the conceit, and make us bear with them. As if indeed the Biſhops name were diſtinguiſhedly in Chriſts Charter for Ordination, as it is in the Canons of men; or as if any ſhould tell me in earneſt, that the Lawne were de eſſentia to the Ceremony, and the hands availed not without the Sleeves on.
The truth is, while there was ſome fair and lively hopes of an accommodation between Epiſopacy, and the ſober and moderate of the Presbyterians and others, according to his Majeſties gracious Declaration, the buſineſs of Conformity, according to Primitive Pattern, might look ſomething lovel; but now it hath pleaſed thoſe that ſit at the Helm of theſe things, to carry their affairs ſo high, that our expectations that way are cut off, and the thirſty of the Land, after ſome good iſſue thereof, made to fail. I do not know of what conſequence the removing from our ſtation at firſt may be, or to what Rock it may come. When Paul had preſaged the Voyage to be dangerous, and the minds of the Shipmen miſ-give them themſelves, though the winds blew ſoftly, and the temptation was ſtrong, the Centurion did not well to ſet out, or venture on, and ſo leave the fair Havens behind. Unleſs I could be ſure my heart would ſerve me to hold throughout, and I could ſee ſafety there, at the end, I will not ſtand the danger of having gone ſo far, but will rather diſcount my action, and crave mercy, than look to be juſtified by what I have done. A Traveller goes on his way, and comes to two Ditches, he makes a ſhift to get over one, but then ſeeing another ſo broad, and how deep he knows not, he ſteps back. I do perceive I have made ſo large a ſtride at once, though in a little thing one would think, that I have left moſt of the wary and conſiderate of my Brethren behind me, I mean ſuch at leaſt, where neceſſity or a remove to a new charge, hath not made their caſe more clear than mine was; and I am ſo much convinced of the piety and integrity of many, or the moſt of them, that I can be contented methinks, that my Soul ſhould be amongſt theirs, (though my eye-ſight as yet does differ,) to fare no otherwiſe than with them in ſtate and Conſcience, who have been my former fellows, and are yet quite free from all act or acts whatſoever, in or about this matter. I do conſider what I make my Pen to utter, and I do beſeech the Lord, unto whom the ſecrets and reaſons of the heart is known, that I may ſtand in my ſpirit before him, or in my reckoning between him and my Soul (however in Mans Court I ſtand) according to the ſame.
Not that I will be enſlaved to narrow up my faith to their ſtandard, or tie up my judgment to any party, but I will acknowledge ſuch mens ſober practice, and good converſation. And as for thoſe rules of their life, to confeſs Jeſus Chriſt, to take heed of offending any of his little ones, to own the grace of God in his Children, to preferr in the eſteem of heart, the power of godlineſs, before the formality and garments of it, I cannot but be con…iced by them, and carry in my mind that exhortation of the Apoſtle, My Brethren, have not the faith of Christ in respect of perſons, in which due regard as Chriſtian, what is the Biſhop more indeed than the Pawn, or the Knight than a ſingle man, which though they may in all external honour due to them, ſtand for more upon the board, yet muſt they be but all one in the bagg, and in their accounts before the Lord.
I know indeed Quod factum est, when a thing is done, infectum fieri non poteſt, it cannot be undone in the act it ſelf, but yet it may in the effect, or the effects. It is a gracious Text in Ieremy, In thoſe dayes, and in that time, ſaith the Lord, the iniquiy of Iſrael ſhall be ſought for, and there ſhall be none, and the ſins of Judah, and they ſhall not be found. What we find here was committed, but Gods favour and pardon puts them into ſuch an eſtate, that it is as good for them as if there were none, or all one in the effect, as if it had never been at all. When a man ſhall come to find the ſame freedom of ſpirit, the ſame boldneſs of acceſs in the ſight of the Lord, the ſame exerciſe of Grace to, and influence of his Face from him, it is all one in the effect toward God. When the ſad impreſſions ſhall be wiped out of his mind, when the ſanctified experience ſhall be left, and the bitterneſs be over, the regret and torment be no more, it is all one in effect towards himſelf. When his blood and courage, chearfulneſs & life, ſhall be returned in the ſight & preſence of his Brethren, and to the duty of admoniſhing, hearthing and quickening them in the ſame faith, and the ſame Lord; here it is all one in reſpect of others. In ſhort, when ſuppoſing a man hath taken new Orders, but is ready to ſtand to, & preſervation conſidered) make uſe of his old, being content to fare no otherwiſe than thoſe that have not, or as he ſhould have done before. Here methinks they are all one to him, as if there were none.
Were the Miniſterial Office given by Orders, as the Biſhop holds, and we in our caſe took his Orders for this end as he gives them, then could they not be retained by us, but ſhould be null'd, and acknowledged in vain: but if we take them to another end, and that indeed not for our ſelves, but for the Canonical repute only to ſatisfie others, both muſt be held, or one ſpared as there is need, but the preheminence muſt be given by us to the firſt born; which I have reaſon to ſpeak, I count, both ſadly by my experience, and ſoberly when I compare them; the more careful examination, ſolemn confeſſion, pious exhortations, frequent prayers, that were at the former, may not be forgotten; So that the times only excepted, (to ſpeak freely, and with no gall) a mans taſte alone muſt tell him which were to be choſen. No man having drunk old Wine, ſtraightway deſireth new for he ſaith the old is better.
I underſtand very well, I write not not now, as one that is like to thrive by it; I ſee the way I ſhould have gone, if I look'd for that. I muſt write for truth, though with the loſs of advantage; I muſt write for my relief, though with the hazard of my name; I do truſt God with both, and I do even chooſe weakneſs and folly (if I may, as a Chriſtian) to remove guilt, and a load off from me, before wiſdom and ſtrength to bear it like a man. I may be accuſed for weak to intimate any trouble, or for unwiſe to venture any loſs; but if my weakneſs ſhall eaſe me, and my folly give me victory, that I may have done expecting any good from this World, and frail man, I ſhall remember that Text of the Apoſtle, The Fooliſhneſs of God is wiſer than men, and the Weakneſs of God is ſtronger than men. And then ſay with good Lactantius, Habeant divites ſuas divitias habeant ſapientes ſuam ſapientiam relinquant nobis noſtram ſtultitiam. Let thoſe that are great, have their Riches and Dignities, thoſe that ſeem Wiſe, their Wiſdom, let them leave us the Fooliſhneſs of Integrity, and Simplicity of Chriſt.
Not but if one would be ſeeking, I might have ſtood as fair perhaps in the aſpect of the times as another; Nor if that I were yet hardy enough, I foreſee not what room is making for thoſe that will, that none may ſay, he is moved to this by a failure herein. But I am made ſenſible, that to be graſping after preſent things, is to catch an arm full of thorns: I am made to perceive on what a brink we yet are, and that a man muſt know firſt what he can ſwallow well, that hath a ſtomack for all that comes. I would fain have both a better heart for it, and have done more good than where I have been, and if advantage came free, I ſhould have bid it come, but if it come with fetters on my leggs, or any intanglements on my Soul, I bid it farwel. The real hazard of ſolid good, as compoſure of mind, a retired frame, and a whole conſcience, for the ſhew only of happineſs, and ceremony thereof, is one of the vanities of man. It is not the bulk of riches, or dignities, but their extracted Spirits, which is the content of them, and the ſervice of God by them, which is to be ſought. It is but a very little can be enjoyed of the whole World. I was verily faulty, that prudential perſwaſion, and ſeeming concernment, did draw me more haſtily, if not farther, in this thing, than elſe I ſhould have gone; And it is really ſuch an ugly thing to me, when one cannot down freely with every thing elſe, to be trapt into this, that I cannot endure it, do what I can; neither is it in the revolution of theſe thoughts which was my ſoar, can be my cure, but in the Abrenunciation of them. It is not application of money will heal a wound, nor a dainty bit, or comfortable draught aſſwage the mind. There is a time with the Spirit of man, when he is not to be regarding outward good, and favour with men: Seekeſt thou great things for thy ſelf? ſeek them not. I had rather, for my part, have peace only in my Conſcience, and ſatisfaction to my heart, than a Mitre on my head, and a Rochet on my back. I had rather have my gracious Saviour Chriſt alone pleaſed with me, than all the Biſhops, Lords, and Rulers of the Land. The fine Needle work on the Cap (as Plutarch, I think, ſomewhere ſpeaks to that ſenſe) does not help the headach; Nor the gilded Slipper the breaking of the Shin. It is the confeſſion of evil, and the forſaking of evil, makes the Soul well: Let me but have the ſmile of God upon my Soul when I have done, and let others write for what they will, and get what they can. And what indeed were three or four hundred pound a year to reconciliation with God, and remiſſion of Sin? Lord lift thou up the light of thy Countenance upon us (ſayes David) and it ſhall be more cauſe of gladneſs to the heart, than the increaſe of Corn and Wine.
It pleaſed God in the late times, when the Ordinance of the Sacrament lay waſt in many places, to draw me forth (as a man made for diſpleaſure) upon the ſubject of Free-admiſſion, which got the Tongues and Pens of many of my Brethren upon me then, and a very hard Character of me ever ſince. Divine Providence hath turned the ſcales of things, and I find there be thoſe of other Complexions, in the ſame Religion, that have more Candour in their grains of allowance for my imperfections, and acceptation of my poor labours, being ready (as having ſerved them ſomething) upon the overture of occaſion, to wipe out thoſe vibices nominis, with the marks of a contrary nature. But thoſe ſmilings perhaps now, I ſh…ll urn into wrinkling, and muſt be content; who do judge it hardly honeſt, indeed for any, to be ambitious of Favour, as to be vain glorious of Grace, where they cannot ſtand ſincere in it. I muſt needs ſay, I did not (as I remember) deſign at that time the ſerving any Party, or Intereſt; but that chiefly which I perceive does reign much in my heart, that is the intereſt of tender Conſciences, who being in diſtreſs then upon ſo neceſſary a point of practice, I thought it might be a ſervice acceptable to Truth and them, to offer the beſt relief I could againſt the ſtream of Separation: And as for men of another temper… it was not my joy (God knows) but my ſad fears, leſt what I intended for the pious in the eaſe of their ſtreightned Spirits, ſhould be uſed by ſuch of larger principles to their deſpite, and remiſſneſs in their own duty; If I have ſwerved in any thing therein, though in the leaſt, I ſubmit my ſelf to the judgement of our Church, and the Scripture. I have at this time alſo, through Providence, been drawn out now upon this ſubject, made neceſſary likewiſe to many: I know it is ſtood upon as a matter of moment to Epiſcopacy, and a threſhold to her; and I do not ſee that, ſo long as if men of Conſcience come in, it muſt be the way they can, I could have counterfeited to her purpoſe ſo effectually, as in ſincerity herein (I think) to the Church I have done, for I remember the Comaedian, Paulum intereſſe cenſes, ex animo omnia ut fert natura, facias, an de industria? And yet I muſt quit any claim of Grace, or engagement from her by this, who do herein deſire, (or deſire at leaſt that I may deſire) to ſerve no other end than the ſame of my dear Brethren, to wit, the relieving the tender in Conſcience, the keeping ſuch in the Miniſtry, together with the intents alſo (I muſt not deny) of all due, holy. Eccleſiaſtical Peace, which if I have hitherto perſued with more indifferency, as to what kind of Government Providence pleaſe, then I ought, I crave mercy, who have not, I muſt confeſs, yet learned to ſpeak evil of any. And while I am now little careful in theſe expreſſions, if my own heart be ſatisfied, what Party is pleaſed, or offended, I am methinks very fearful, leſt any of thoſe, whoſe caſe my Diſcourſe does concern, be ſtumbled, or diſcouraged, who I hope will conſider, how much more eaſie it were for me to lay aſide my Opinion and Fact together, if there were for it, a truly full, and ſufficient conviction, than to be put upon the diſtreſs of the diſtinction to uphold the one, and repent the other.
But why indeed ſhould any be ſtumbled at me, when he is only made wary and ſet upon his duty? When I ſay Duty, I ſuppoſe it will be conceived ſtill in reference to the uſe of a mans Miniſtry; So that if his Conſcience ſtick otherwiſe, and he cannot paſs beſides, this may be lawful, and yet not obligatory, to do it in vain; And conſequently if a man hath done it, and it is not like to reach that end, upon the ſame account, the Caſe of a Receſſion, or teſtimonial Dereliction, is the ſame. And why ſhould any be offended, ſeeing as Antonininus ſayes, foreign. If there be any hurt herein, it is to my ſelf, what is it to them? And I have reaſon to know what is beſt for me. It is not now a time with me to be fearing what I ſhall loſe, or what I ſhall ſuffer, but to take heed what I do, to confeſs him, who indeed ought to be our Fear. A Priſon it ſelf to the Body, is but Liberty to the carrying a Priſon in the Thoughts; and the ſhackells on a mans leggs, are but light gear to a load upon the mind. My Brethren, ſayes St. James, Count it all joy, if you fall into divers Temptations. I remember Ignatius, when he is as it were provoking the Lyons, and his friends (I will ſuppoſe) looking upon him, and bewailing in him too much forwardneſs towards his danger, and approaching Martyrdome, he thus beſpeaks them, in his Epiſtle to the Romans, foreign. You muſt pardon me my Friends, I do know what is beſt for my own ſelf, now I begin to be a Diſciple. Let me humbly ſay ſo; I am ſenſible theſe open words and acknowledgements of mine, are like to bring me into the mouths of Men, though not of Lyons; On the one ſide, my owning this unuſual, and diſpleaſing thing Re-ordination, in the Doctrine (though true, and never ſo neceſſary to others) and the not bearing up the Impoſition, and my own Deed (though the Confeſſion be never ſo honeſt and neceſſary to me) on the other ſide, will put me as it were between the upper and nether jaw of Cenſure, to be ground by the teeth of all that pleaſe, but I cannot help it, and ſo long as it is but what is from without, for my quiet from within, it ſhall I hope but ſerve only, as it were, to yield Meal to me, to feed me in heart (They ſhall be as Bread to us, ſayes Caleb) and I ſhall bear it (through Grace) with vigor upon that account, which methinks I find even now in ſome meaſure returning like the blood and ſpirits to my heart, that hath been even quite down before, ſo that foreign, Now I begin to come to my ſelf, and conſider that warfare wherein a man can never ſo well put on his harneſs, as when he is ſtript, and ready to forſake all. There be ſome Spirits made fitteſt to honour God in a caſe of confeſſion, and ſome to honour him in wayes of facility and ſubmiſſion; I am perſwaded the Lord Almighty will have enough to ſtand by him as his Confeſſors, and alſo to carry on his work, of the Goſpel, as gentle, not oppoſing themſelves, and bearing with the evil; and yet keeping each of them a good Conſcience herein, being ready, as to preparation of mind, to chooſe rather to ſuffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleaſures of ſin for a ſeaſon. Whoſoever ſhall be aſhmed to confeſs me in this adulterons generation, of him ſhall the Son of Man be aſhamed, when he cometh in the glory of the Father. foreign X foreign. Let the Fire and the Croſs (as that bleſſed Saint and Martyr goes on) the coition of wild Beaſts, the breaking of the Bones, the diſ-joynting of the Members, the diſſolution of the whole Body, and the spite of the Devil come upon me, ſo long as I may be partaker of Chriſt Jeſus.
The tru…h is, the volubility of theſe times, have brought ſuch ſnares on mens Conſciences, that will require both the candour of our Rulers, and alſo much diſquiſition, and reſolution in our own ſelves, to divide aright between the Gnat and the Camel, that when we do not ſtrain at the one, yet we may not ſwallow the other. The ſame ſelf-denial and mortification, it is in my thought, will not fit every condition. Me-thinks I ſee many good men with their Iſaac bound in their hand, ready to lay him on the Altar; The Child of their hopes ſmiles upon them; they have pleaſing opportunities, tempting advantages, ſtripping neceſſities, and they cry, Oh pity us! Oh do not put us under the knife! O ſpare us, do not caſt us away. Alas! how a man feels his own frailty, whiles his bowels yerns at theſe cries! Well now (ſay they) if we ſhould do thus, or …hus, for our advantage, and ſhall come after for to be troubled in Conſcience for it, when it is done, God may ſay to us, go to your advantages, and let them relieve you; you have what you ſought, you get no more of me, and can they eaſe you? But if we ſhall deny our advantages to ſave our Conſcience, and come after to find it nothing, or but a meer ſcruple for which we have relinquiſhed them and ſo are troubled for that, then may we go to God directly for our comfort, who we are ſure can eaſe us, and by the teſtimony alone of our integrity, make up what we have loſt. It is a noble inſtance of the famous Marqueſs of Vice, who when his Honours, and State, and Wife, and Children hung about him, could ſhake off all, as the drops of rain, from his Cloak at once, for the ſake of his Conſcience. From which contemplation, I will humbly in the preſence of the Lord, from henceforth lay down this rule (ingenuouſly acknowledging it to him, as my failing, that I had not laid it to my ſelf, animo obfirmato before) that when the Soul is in doubt about any thing, which it is like to be troubled for, either way when it is done, it muſt determine to take that way, which is moſt like to relieve it again, in that trouble. If my Conſcience can relieve me againſt my advantages, and my advantages cannot relieve me againſt my Conſcience, then let my Iſaac be ſacrificed, and my hopes he caſt on the Lord, who can raiſe them up again if he ſees good, when they are ſlain, but let not a man diſpirit his Soul, and loſe the comfort of his mind, if not alſo the peace of his Conſcience, which is not to be recompenſed with the world. And yet need we not be ſo narrow-ſpirited towards God, his Church, or Cauſe, (which is the promoting holineſs and peace) but that as to others, and in other things, as to our ſelves, we may judge, that when a perſon hath found in the bottom of his Soul, wherein he is like to be moſt ſerviceable to this grand end, he need not hide himſelf among the ſtuff, from the Providences, which without ſin, lie before him. This being one top-ſtep of denying ones ſelf, to deny ſelf-denial in its ſeaſon. Through good report, and through evil report, by honour and diſhonour.
VIri, fratres, & patres, Sinite me, nullius quamvis pretii hominem, cogitationes haſce onerati pector is, nimis anxias, ad animi aegritudinem ſublevandam, aperire, & quaſi in gremia veſtra effundere, ne que aegrè ferte, ne que iraſcimini. Dolet, me ſa…è favori, humanitati, & indulgentiae veſtrae adeò moleſtè inniti, ut tan…am ejus coplam, quanta conditioni meae opus eſt, m…hi facére, vos ſollicitarem. Infelicitèr quidem & hand ſatìs auſpicatò, res mihi geſta eſt, qui ad provinciam hanc ſcrupuloſam ſuſcipiendam, praepopere nimiùm me contuli, priuſquaem ad maturioris conſilii calculos, totam recocaſſem materiam; quae mihi tamen non tantum moleſtiae in diſputando, quantum in onere praecipitis iſtius facti ferendo conſlavit. De quo, licèt uberiorì orationis filo jam verba profuderim, nondùm tamen acquieſcens animus, intolerando hoc faſce, omninò ſe levare geſtit.
Sereniſſimus Rex nupera Declaratione injunxerat, ut Epiſcopus Presbyteros nonnullos ruri viventes accerſeret, eoſque in ritu impoſitionis manuum, & examine ordinandorum, ſibi ſocios adjungeret. In obſervantiam hujus declarationis, Placuit Epiſcopo, ut & ego inter alios fuerim accerſitus. Mihi hoc in caſu, & aequum, & ad praeſentem rem neceſſarium, viſum eſt, non quò apologiam praetexerem, ſed ut ingenuitati litarem, Epiſcopum ſubmonere, me à ſolis Praesbyteris ordinatum eſſe, me que iſtam ordinationem ſatis validam & ſufficientem exiſtimare. Quo facto anſâ hac de re inter nos benigne conferendi datâ, me ut primus ordinationem meam inſtaurare, non gravarer, neve opus deſererem, per quàm amicè tantâ humanitate, ſuavitate, & perſuaſion is vehementiâ, cui acceſſit quorundam familiarium etiam conſilium, inductus.
Hùc animum adveterant (uti credo) amici, & cogitationes deſixerant, quo ſcilicet pacto in generatione meâ Deo potiſſimùm inſervire poſſem; Id quod, principiis me is quatenùs palàm facta ſune perpenſis, ad tempus praeſens ut accommodem me, alliciebat. Verò enim verò, hic communis ſitus eſt lapis, in quem ſummae etiam probitatis viri aliquandò impingunt, quòd in dando aequè ac in petendo conſilio, non tam conſcientiam ſolam & Dei gloriam, quàm prudentiam, & res noſtras praeſentes ſpectemus. Cogitabamus equidèm, & probabilis quaedam conjectuxa nos paſcebat, nempè fieri poſſe, ut factum hoc praeſenti mihi eſſet utilitati, quod iſti conſilio caput erat.
Non potui quin iterùm animo revoluerem, nimirùm aſpernari favoris illecebras, & commodi allectamenta, nec quicquam illorum gratiâ committere, quod alitèr quiſquam facturus non eſſet, rom eſſe Chriſtiano maximè dignam. Sed Eheù! Quis mortalium in hâc vitae ſcenâ omnibus numer is abſolutus eſt? Cogitanti haec, unica conſideratio praeter caetera, mentem meam, rurſùs mihi verberabat, qua vel ſola alii fortaſſe omnem ex animo ſcrupulum eximere potuiſſet. Functio miniſterialis mihi onus grave viſa eſt, jam ſi iniquit as temporum ob Epiſcopalis ordinationis defectum, me ex iſtius officii dignitate exueret, quid aliud profectò ageret, quam vt onere iſto me levaret? Ac proinde novo me ordinis inſtituto obſtringere, tanquam honeſti alicujus, & ſui ipſius abne gationis faciem prae ſe tulit, immò iſtud ipſum, oſſicii, ad quod jam ſejunctus eram, ratio poſtulare videbatur. Hoc novum commod is iſtis prominentibus facem praeferebat, & ſubtilis hac tentatio (ſi quidem tentatio) captivum duxit, in aurem inſuſurrans, iſta ſi recuſarem, fore, ut conſcientia mihi exprobraret me nihilo minns gratificari carni, deſidiae indulgendo, quam ſi iſtis indulgerem, & ita Chriſtianâ illa ſui ipſius abnegationis conſolatione privarer.
Unius tantùm bidui ſpatium cogitandi mihi erat; objectio ſcandali palmaria, quae in re leviori, paulò antè me pupugerat, & ob id vel ſola me retardare potuiſſet, ant debuiſſe…, mihi cum quodame familiaribus colloquenti, hebes & ſtupitla (minimè verò dicam, non prorſus omninò ulla) fortè reddita erat; Spes ingenioſa & peracuta affulgebat. Res ipſa, in ſe inaifferens, non contra conſcientiam, aſt contra animi genium & ductum viſa eſt. In formulâ ordinationis, quaedam verba Reſpon ſionibus inſerta, ad miniſtrum ſpectantia, maximum ſcrupulum injecere, & in quibus ego maximè haerebam, ea alius fortaſſe ſiceo pede praeterilſſet. Ut tandem huic malo remedium quoad potui adhiberem; verba iſta paululùm mutavi, & libertatem non ſubſcribendi depoſcebam. Jam nihil reliquum putabum, quod poſteà mihi negotium faceſſeret. Impraeſentiarum, & dierum duorum, vel trium intervallo, res omnis in vado erat; Sed paucis poſt, mens mea dubia & …nceps eſſe coepit. Id imprimis metuebam tantùm, nè in praeooncept is iſt is verbis claudicaſſem. Hic metus angit animum, & in varias de re ipſâ ſcrupulos conjecit: Hi ſcrupuli me aliis objectionibus immerſexe. Has objectiones annotare, & ſingulis prout mihi occurrebant, & me cruciabant, reſpondere, operae praetium d…xi. Singulari Providentiae manu credo factum, ac proinde priorem meam iſtam Diatriben conſcribebam; Ex quâ ſiquis fructum quendam perceperit, omnem ſoli Deo tribuo gloriam.
Quantum ad me attinet, mentis meae tranquillitas non adeò diù durabat. Quod hominis judicio eſt confirmatio, non ſemper eſt cordi ſatisfactio. Alterum hunc librum in lucem emitto, & confeſſionem etiam ſubjungere non verebar. Liber conf…ſſionum Auguſtinums cohoneſtavit. Ex quo…erim Diſſertatio mea dubitationum flactus mihi compoſuit, quantum ad materiam Re…ordinationis, ante oculos obverſabatur ipſum factum, ejuſ que modus. Scio quòd Deus eſt juſtus, qui non aſfligit ex animo ſuo, m…c…itiâque afficit filios viri. Deliquiſſe me, memet judico, quia animi moleſtiâ afficit; Meipſum judico ne judicer, & ab ipſo condemner. Quoad animi igitur deſideratam promunitionem, circumstantias concomitantes, agendi finem & allectamenta, me à crimine non libero. Praefeſtinationis meae me penitet. Homo agnoſcit, ignoſcit Deus. Ad oujus miſerecordiam confugere malim, & fratrum meorum emendicare preces, quam ex eo quod feci me juſtum depraedicare. Si corum quae in lucem emiſi me poeniteret, & mihi fortaſſe & aliis injurius eſſem; Non ſcripti (praeterquam quòd in omnibus peccamus ſed facti me piget. Fratribus meis in re per ſe licitâ patrocinarer, me …ero ipſum, ob temeritatem ejuſdem ad praeſentem ſtatum meum applicationem, purgare non aggrediar. Dum Concionibus interſumus, dum preces recitamus, interdùm peccamus. Et quis eſt, qui non aliquandò cafactitat, quae poſteà ſi omiſiſſet, magis in rem ſuam fuiſſe comperit.
—Quid enim ratione timemus,
Aut cupimus! Quid tam dextro pede concipis ut te
Conatus non poeniteat, votique peracti?
Credebam, ſi neceſſitatem ad intercludendam omnem è vineâ cui devinctus eram, elabendi viam mihi injungerem, fore ut mens mihi in opere defixa, in illud minùs vacillanter, tota incumberet; ſed non ſine dolore profiteor rem mihi non adeò foelicitèr cecidiſſe. Et reipſa experior, me jam antè ſatìs obſtrictum, hoc posteriori nodo adeò implicatum affligi, ut diutiùs tollerare non poſſim, quin iſtum relaxandi & explicandi tentarem viam. Avertat Deus me ulteriùs progreſſurum ob hoc factum, quàm ſalvâ conſcientiâ alitèr nequirem.
In eum locum jam res rediit, ut nonnullis, nihil, niſi plena conformitas in omnibus, ſive novis ſive priſtinis arridet, quibus an unquàm me totum dedere, animum recolligam poſthàc, non ſacis ſcio. Videor igitur mihi videre, mecum quidem hic agi, perindè ac cum homine, qui in foramen quoddam irrepſit, ibique capite & humeris immiſſis haeret; nec totum corpus ſuum poſt ſe attrahere, nec ſine corpore quò ſe vertat, habet; Anteriorem idcircò corporis partem, quam commodiſſime poteſt retrahere cogitur: Quod dum facit, ſi caput ſuum ſalvum & incolume tueri poteſt, illaeſionem quandam aliarum partium aequanimiter feret, atque ſatis benè actum ſecum putabit.
Hoc ſanè pro comperto habeo, hanc Re-ordinationem, maximam eſſe ad quamcunque aliarum impoſitionum materiam, ſine percolatione deglutiendam, ineſcationem, ne quod jam concoxi, effectu careat, & irritum videatur. E contra mihi ſubolet, ſi uni…um hoc meum factum (omninum fortaſſè non minus informe) jam mentem meam adeò momordit, quid fiet ſi praeter hoc, ad mores ſcenae hujus quoſcunque me compoſuero? Sunt inſtinctus quidèm interni, & mentis hallucinationes, quae rationem ſuperant; nec ſatis ſcio, an quid periculi latentis maneat qui ſe praeſenti generationi devovet, inre licet puſilla, vel quouſque ego progreſſus ſum, eò quòd Genius meus, ad canendum receptui, quò i… priſtinam ſtationem regrediar, adeò indeſinentèr aurem vellicans me exſuſcitat, ſubindé ſubmurmurans foreign, diſcede à tentoriis, foreign: Sed hoc certe ſcio, & nimis exploratam habeo, Ex quo hoc feci, irrequieta mihi mens redditur, & internâ pace vix noctu vel interdiu, niſi valetudinariâ, frui potui: Tot facti iſtius fuêre concomitantia memoriae diſplacentia, quorum extimeſcnd…e imagines, & nova imaginationum commenta, & terrores occurrunt, quae tanquam furiae (ut cum Tullio loquar) reſpirare non ſinunt, & (ut cum Terentio) nec conſilii locum, nec remedii copiam relinquunt. Abomnibus igitur & ſingulis mihi impetranda eſt venia, adhibendi inuſitatum aliquod, ſed efficax remedium, quod animum meum ex hoc ergaſtulo acturùm ut potero, adſemel, & adſemper (favente Deo) expediam.
Non poſſum quin ex animo doleam, me ad hoc compelli; abſ que quo eſſet, cauſam non video cur non praeſenti foro feliciter ae que ac alij quam plurimi mei ordinis, u…i potuero. Sed ita optimo maximo viſum eſt, ut actio ea quae maximam, & favor is & em…lumenti mihi conciliandi, speciem prae ſe ferebat (quantum ad effectum attinet, quem hùc me impellendo, certo certiùs (ut vereor) tandem couſequetur) ad utriuſ que aſcenſum, quam maximè viam occluderet, & penitùs me amandaret. Quod ille benè vertat precor. Jacturae quidem unius timor, & capiatio alterius, occaſionem (quantum ſentio) meae in hoc negotio claudicationis praeſtitêre: Jam verò utrum que periclitari, & conſcientiae paci unicè ſtudere; Quanti ad Dei gloriam interſit inquirere, & om…ia caetera mea in prompru illi poſthabere, Chriſtianam quandam compenſationem fore ſpero, quamque ab illo, acceptam fero. Immò quanta vindicatio? 2 Cor. 7.11. Praeſtat certè nobis Dei nomen magni facere, per conf…ſſionem noſtram & Chriſtiano pudore ſuffundi, quàm peccatum retinendo, dignitatem aucupari, & ad manum temporum turoi…è… adblandiri. Non qùod Divinâ aſpirante gratiâ, ego unquam genuinum naturae meae ductum, concordiae ſtudendi, & conſcientijs tenerorum fratrum (in quantum poſſum) ſuccurrendi, ſequi deſinam; Imm… ſi quem virum probum videro, qui ſine ullâ mentis intemperie ad omnes praeſentis ſcenae articulos componere ſe poteſt, gandio afficiar, nec ingenium ejus improbem; At mihi tamen, potiùs quam ipſe diutiùs talem agam vitam, in quâ, nec Deo, nec Hominibus, inſervîre poſſum, omnis lapis eſt movendus, ut quo vis modo, quâ vis conditione, ex his anguſti…s emergam. Tu quiſquis es, qui paratus aſtas ut me judices, acced as propiùs, & rem omnem a principio audi, ac modo candidus ſis & ſincerus Chriſtianus, nullam mihi, ne que imprudentiae, ne que indigni alicujus facinoris notam inures, ſed potiùs ſedato animo & placido recedens, neceſſe eſt, benè eſt, optumè factum, acclamabis.
Si Epiſcopi a ſolis Prabyter is Ordinatos pro verè miniſtris habe…ent, & quibus confirmatio in ſuper Canonica arridet, eam amplecti, alijs, quorum conſcientia illam averſatur, eâdem ſuperſedere, liberum, & quaſi indifferens relinquatur, Si ſumma ratio non dictitaret, aequitas ſaltem Chriſtiana poſtularet, moderationi, ſive foreign, tali, gratificarinos debere, quae quidem nobis cum primùm noſtrûm quam plurimi ordinationem ſuam renovarent, affulſit; porrò alterum alteros ferre, & uniformi (quantùm ſua cujuſ… que conſcientia tulerit) pietati operari. Nec eſſet, quod qui ſe conformarent eos quos vocant Non-conformantes, contemptui haberent, nec hi illos viciſſim judicarent, Ro. 14.3. Si ver… Ordinationis innovatio exigatur, ob hanc potiſſimùm rationem, quòd priſtina noſtra Ordinatio exautorata, & pro irritâ habenda eſt, quaſi nulla in nos a Chriſto authoritas, niſi per Epiſcopum derivari poſſit, omneſ que qui illam exoſculari erubeſcant, functione miniſteriali (quod averruncet De us) excludendi ſint, Certè fratres, hoc in caſu, contumeliliâ adeò gravi, adeò indignâ afficerentur, ut ego quippè ſolus adhua cauſae huic palam & ex confeſſo devinctus, non immeritò ab illo um castris, meo que priſtino Miniſterio, transfuga viderer, ſi non in eodem me cum illis conjungerem, me que ſuae ſortis participem facerem; Si non & injuriam quam fortè intuli reſarcire, illiſ que in omnibus quoad potero ſatisfacere, paratus fuero; cùm res non levis momenti ſit; utpote quae ad Dominum qui operarios in meſſem mittit, ae que ac ad operarios ipſos, hominum que animas spectet, & cùm regula illa …rica, Non dimittitur peccatum donec reſtituatur ablatum, nihil minùs fo…aſſe a me efflagitare videatur.
Noveri…t igitur univerſi & ſinguli quicun que volunt quod ego J. H. Ordinatus a Claſſe Praesbyterorum An. 1649. Et Ordinatuc denuò ab Epiſcopo An. 1660. Palàm, in Divinae majeſtatis gloriam, & conſcientiae meae pacem, profiteor, viz. Quamvis Ordinationis inſtaurationem in quibuſnam caſibus licitam, & verbo Dei conſentaneam eſſe credam, & in procinctu ad eandem propugnandam ſteti, ita ut neminem alium, hac in re, labe aspergam; Quoniam tamen hic defectus proprij, ſive multo potiùs, defectuum meorum convictus ſum, me que non rectè feciſſe, cui in loco quo remanſi, cum alijs confirmato, hoc neutiquam, vel ſaltem nondùm, opus erat; Praecipuè quoniàm ad ſauciati pectoris vulnus, ictumve conſcientiae ſanandum, nihil ferè intentatum reliqui, & catera omnia planè desperata ſunt, ut quo me vertam alitèr, non habeam; Ut nihil de formae incongruitate enarrem, cujus cauſà ad Diaconatum veluti foreign (ut loquuntur) deſcenditur; quae quidem contumelia est (quo penitiùs intueor) indiguatione omni ingenua & liberali, vere digniſſima: Ego ultrò, & spontaneo ductu, a nemine, niſi a manu. Dei impulſus, & verè foreign, totum illum actum & actus quoſcun que , ſive voluntate, ſive verbis, ſive facto, quibus nim is temerè, & non ſat is conſideratè, in, circa, aut ante, ordinationis iſtam inſtaurationem, me ſubjeci, quorum paenitere, & dolere me fateor, immò & confiteor coram Domino Deo meo; Retracto, revoco, abdico, abr…nuncio, derelinquo, procul abjicio, ea que cum quibnſcun que ad ea pertinentibus, per has praeſentes literas, quantum in me ſitum eſt, facta infecta, foreign, reddo omnia. Etin illo die ſpernent quiſque ſua idola. Seperabis ea, & apage dices eorum cuique. Deni que ut paucis expediam, cùm mihi perſuaſum omninò habeam, priorem meam ordinationem fuiſſe, & eſſe ſatis validam, ego me in pristinum meum ſtatum confero, ei que adhaerebo. Ita quidem eò tandem ventum eſt, ut dum Epiſcopalis Ordinatio, priori noſtrae inſultare, & in irritam illam reddendo, blandiri ſibi admodùm videtur, accidit illi rectiſſimè, ſecundum illud Prophetae. Propinquus eſt dies Jehovae; Quemadmodùm feceris, fiet tibi, retributio tua revertetur in caput tuum.
Nonnulli forſan animum induxêre, fore, ut poſteritas a tans multis hoc ſeculo denùo ordinatis, exemplum & teſtimonium ſibi ſumeret, ad annibilandum in poſterùm Praesbyterorum Ordinationem, id cùm non poſſit non praebere maximam Eccleſijs reformatis tranſmarinis offenſionem, ae que ac Reverendis noſtris in Britanniâ fratribus: Etiam, per me, ſcriptis mandetur, quod hunc in finem, ſive hanc in rationem & ſententiam, nos quidem minimè gentium huic noſmet ſubjecimu…; Abſit longiſſimè, ſed in id incubuimus potiùs Re-ordinationem (rem quamvis inſolentem Eccleſiae) propugnaremus, quàm noſtram priorem pro invalidâ & in caſſâ haberemus; Fateor hâc in re, me ad Epiſcopale regimen colendum, nimis proclivem aliquibus videri poſſe; Sed nullâ ego reverà Hierarchicâ afficior gloriâ, notâ iſtius nominis inſigniri, ſed potiùs ſi ultrà quam tutum eſt prolapſus ſim, hoc erit mihi pro victoria ex charactere iſto, ſi ad…apocalypſin, ita alludere, mihi licuerit. Porrò & in poſteros feratur, quòd ego ipſemet, qui alijs praeiui, & difficile opinionis hujus defendendi onus fratrum meorum ſimul ac mei ipſius cauſâ, in me ſuſcepi, licet opi…ionem hanc meam pro virili tuear, tamen Facti iſtius conſcientiam ferre neſcius, & difficultates infandas, praeſertim ut indiès jam res ſe vertunt. Ob id paenitentiam hanc, ingenuam & publicam, liberè egi, iſti que valedixi.
Saepo equidem rationes meas mecum ſubduxi, quo nempe pacto, juxta naturae genium, conſcientiam & conditionem, honore Deum afficere quam maximè potuero; Et jacta eſt jam mihi alea, quae & optimè huic vitae pro…oſito evenit; Quocircà, in hujus rei teſtimonium, me ſcilicet, ne que ex parte ſe ſubjectantium voluntarium, (quoad principia quae propter exigitur) alicujus aſſenſum, ſed ſubmiſſionem duntaxat ad excercitium Miniſterij & liberîorem evangelij curſum hâc vice neceſſ…iam, approbare; ad fratres meos, ut unà cum illis conjungar, unà gratìs praedicem; aut ejiciar, unà deni que mala aut bona quaecun que ſubeam, me recipio. Faxit Deus ut omnia Eccleſiae felicitèr ſuccedant. Et Ittai dixit Davidi, in quocunquè loco tu eris, ſive ad mortem, five ad necem, ibi futurus erit Servus tuus,
J. H.