Marriage with a Defense of the 32nd Article of the Church of England, Chapter 7
CHAP. VII. Of Parents that have bad Children.
IF Parents have Children, and they prove croſſes to them, how great is that croſs! If bleſſings, prove curſes; if comforts, turn to ſorrows; and your light be darkned in the Heavens thereof, how great is that darkneſs! And yet this may be the caſe of a good man or woman; for Parents are Parents, as men and women, and not as Chriſtians; and Grace and Virtue is not Ex traducè, is not propagated. A righteous Noah, had a prophane Cham; a good David, a rebellious Son Abſolom. Of ſome Children we may ſay, Bleſſed is the womb that bare them, and the paps that gave them ſuck! of others, It had been good for them, and for their Parents too, if ſuch children had never been born: 'Tis more tolerable to have none, than wicked Children. It is the Speech and Proteſtation of King James in his Preface to his Book to the Prince, I proteſt before that great God, I had rather not be a Father, and Childleſs, than be a Father of wicked Children. I charge you (ſaith he) as ever you think to deſerve my fatherly bleſſing, to follow and put in practiſe, ſo far as lieth in you, the Precepts hereafter following: And if ye follow the contrary courſe, I take the great God to record, that this Book ſhall one day be a witneſs betwixt me and you, and ſhall procure to be ratified in Heaven, the Curſe that in that caſe here I give unto you. And I find in the life of Reverend Mr. Robert Bolton, that he had told his Children ſo much, both in the time of his ſickneſs, and before, he verily believed that none of them durſt think to meet him at that great Tribunal, in an unregenerate eſtate. I confeſs; 'tis a ſad Meditation for a Parent to think of the life or death of a wicked Child. David, that was preſently comforted for the death of the young Child he had by Bathſheba, refuſed to be comforted for the death of Abſolom, ſorely lamenting, Oh Abſoſom, my Son, my Son, I would to God I had dyed for thee, Oh Abſolom, my Son, my Son, 2 Sam. 18.33. It is thought it was for the manner of his death, the ill condition he dyed in, and for his Soul, that he pierced his heart ſo deeply, and that he wept ſo ſorely. Let good Parents that have bad Children, give them good counſel, and good example, and pray daily with all earneſtneſs, for the return of their Prodigals. St. Auſtins Mother Monica, her Prayers for her Son, when a Manichee, were heard at laſt, and he was converted, and became one of the greateſt and beſt Lights of the Church ſince the Apoſtles times. 'Tis thought one cauſe why Hezekiah wept ſo ſore at the tidings of death was, becauſe he was then Childleſs; but could the Prophet have told him, that he ſhould have ſuch a Son as Manaſſeth, that ſhould commit ſuch abominations, how needs muſt ſuch tidings have made his ears to tingle, and pierce his heart thorough with many ſorrows. Yet this may ſomewhat alleviate Parents grief that have bad Children, Manaſſeth when he was in Chains, ſought the Lord, and was found of him at the laſt, and that out of his loyns, by his Son Amon, came the Mirror of Kings, King Joſiah. And if thou haſt matter of ſorrow from thy own immediate Child, thou mayeſt have abundant cauſe of rejoycing from thy Grandchild; thy Childrens Children may praiſe the Lord, and this may be part of thy happineſs, thus to ſee thy Childrens Children, and peace upon Iſrael. And ſith ſo it is, that ſometimes godly Parents have ungodly Children, this ſhould moderate your deſire of Children, and your grief for the want of them. Let none be ſo impatient or paſſionate as Rachel, ſaying to God, or their own Husbands, Give me Children, or elſe I dye. It may further be conſidered, that if yet good Parents have divers towardly Children, yet if they have one prophane perſon, as Eſau, it may break your hearts more than all the reſt can comfort you. Like as in the Natural body, there is more grief by the aking of ſome one part, though but a tooth, than eaſe and comfort in all the reſt that are found and well. And this conſideration, though it ought not to make us judge Children no bleſſings, or not the gift of God, or to be lightly eſteemed; yet may it put us upon being as earneſt, for to have our Children to be born again, as to be born at firſt; to have them Gods Children by Grace, as ours by nature; and to have his Image and likeneſs on their Souls, as ours on their bodies. When the Parents are in Covenant with God, and endeavour their utmoſt to educate their Children in the fear of God, it uſually follows, that their labour is not in vain in the Lord. The Iſraelites, the holy Scriptures tell us, their Sons and their Daughters, which they had born unto God, they ſacrified unto Devils, Pſal. 106. 37. Which in a Spiritual ſenſe we do, ſaith one, if we either neglect inſtructing them, or praying to God for them; or walking exemplarily as we ought before them. or correcting them duly, or any ſuch means as by which the ſeeds of Grace may grow and proſper in them, Rob. Eſſ. p. 532, 533.