Marriage with a Defense of the 32nd Article of the Church of England, Chapter 1
CHAP. I. Of Marriage.
GOD at firſt did not make a Pair, a Male and a Female, in Mankind, as he did of the reſt of living Creatures; but he made the one of the other, the Woman of the Man; and thus Male and Female created he them, for to continue the Species by propagation, and to be a mutual help and comfort each to other. The Angels, which each fill a Species, and are à poſteriori Eternal, were not made Male and Female; and therefore the Heathens, who fanſied their Deities, Male and Female, and worſhipped many Godds, and many Goddeſſes, muſt be conceived to have worſhipped dead Men and Women. The difference of the Sex was made for the ſupply or remedy of our Mortality.
When we ſhall come to be like the Angels of Heaven, then we ſhall neither Marry, nor be given in Marriage. Meat, Drink, Cloathing, and Marriage, are all proviſions only for this ſtate. In the Regeneration, there ſhall be no further need or uſe of them.
Our Creator made the Woman of the Man, to ſhew the near Union and Conjunction which ſhould be betwixt the Man and his Wife. 1. God himſelf made the Woman, as of the Man, ſo for the Man, for his Comfort and Benefit, and to be one fleſh with him. And ſince Adam had his Marriage ordained and celebrated by God himſelf in Paradiſe, and in the ſtate of Innocency; Who are they that diſpute againſt God, againſt his Ordinance and Inſtitution? Such as of old, Montanus and Marcion, who condemned Marriage as uncleanneſs; and ſuch as St. Jerom, who ſpoke unbecomingly of it; ſuch as Papiſts, who forbid Biſhops and Prieſts to Marry, and rather tolerate them the having of a Concubine than a Wife.
I cannot prefer the Woman before the Man abſolutely, although it be granted, ſhe was made after the Man, and of the Man, and not of the common Earth immediately. And that Anatomiſts tell us of a finer Structure in the Body of the Woman than of the Man. For the Holy Scripture tells us, That the Man was not made for the Woman, but the Woman for the Man; and therefore ſure the Man is the Head of the Woman, and to be preferred before her. The Light of Nature taught the very Heathens to prefer the Male before the Female. When the Poets would ſhame men, they call them Women. We read in Homer's Illid. B. foreign. In Virgil his Aeneids, B. 9. O merè Phrygie nequae enim Phryges. So Perſius uſes the word Troiades, Sat. 1. inſtead of Trojani.
Good reaſon then that Wives ſhould be ſubject to their own Husband; and that that Law of Ahaſuerus ſhould be an Oecumenial Law, viz. That every Man ſhould bear rule in his own houſe.
The Holy Ghoſt in Scripture, 'tis obſerved, gives three Reaſons of the ſubjection of the Wife to the Husband.
Firſt; Becauſe that Adam was firſt formed, then Eve; whereas other Creatures were created the Male and the Female together at the ſame time, 1 Tim. 2.13.
Secondly; Becauſe the Woman was made to be a meet help and comfort for the Man, 1 Cor. 11.9.
Thirdly; Becauſe the Woman was made or built out of the Man, 1 Cor. 11.8.
And as a ſign of the ſubjection that was due from the Wife to the Husband, the Women in Eaſtern Countries us'd to wear a Vail on their Heads, and over their Faces, and in ſo doing, the Wife was ſaid to have power on her Head, becauſe ſhe had a Vail, which did ſignifie that ſhe was under the power of her Husband, and therefore ſhe is commanded to fear her Husband, Epheſ. 5.33. Which, ſaith Reverend Mr. Bains on that place, did meet with the lewdneſs of many Women, that think it their glory to know no awe; for pleaſing, they ſtand on no ſuch points; if they like not, they may leave, ſay they, let them get others do it better; to their Husbands moved, they will not ſtick to bid them go walk themſelves: For fearing them they cannot; why ſhould they make ſuch bull-beggers of them, they are their Wives, not their Slaves? Should they be pointed at for Sheep all the Town over? Theſe things (ſaith he) the Devil will round you in the ear with; But know, that you had better be God's Sheep, than the Devil's Shrews. — So he.
And Mr. John R…binſon, in his Eſſayes, p. 126. ſaith, If the Husband paſs the bounds of wiſdom and kindneſs, yet muſt not ſhe ſhake off the bond of ſubmiſſion; but muſt bear patiently the burthen which God hath laid upon the Daughters of Eve. The Woman in innocency was to be ſubject to the Man, but this ſhould have been without all wrong on his part, or grief on hers; but ſhe being firſt in tranſgreſſion, hath brought her ſelf under another ſubjection; and, the ſame to her grievor, &c. in regard of her Husband, often unjuſt, but in regard of God, always moſt juſt; who hath ordained that her deſire ſhould be ſubject to her Husband, who by her ſeduction became ſubject to him. And albeit, many proud Women think it a matter of ſcorn and diſgrace thus to humble themſelves to God and their Huſbands, and even glory in the contrary; yet they but glory in their ſhame, and in their Husbands ſhame alſo; and whilſt they refuſe a croſs, chuſe a ſin of rebellion, both againſt God and their Husbands. Which ſhall not eſcape unpuniſhed from God, though many fond Husbands nouriſh them therein, and by pampering and puffing them up by delicate Fare, coſtly Apparel, and Idleneſs, teach them to deſpiſe themſelves and all others. So far my Author.
And let me here have leave to ſay, That the pride & peeviſhneſs of ſome Wives to their Huſbands in our dayes, hath brought an ill report on Matrimony; and 'tis to be feared, hath frighted many from the remedy of Marriage, into the Diſeaſe of Adultery and Uncleanneſs. If Wives would, by their diſcretion, and by their meck and quiet Spirits, they might gain their Huſbands love and affection, and they might do this kindneſs for thoſe of their Sex that are unmarried, they would raiſe and quicken the Market, ſo that Tradeſmen that are well ſtock'd with Daughters, ſhould not have cauſe to complain that their Daughters are the verieſt Drug they have about them. Let the Wife make it her buſineſs to pleaſe her Husband in lawful things, and to the reſt of her Endowments, of Parts, Parentage, Beauty, Education, Portion, add that which makes the reſt, That they are not meer Cyphers in compariſon and account; namely, Let her ſtudy to frame and compoſe her ſelf what may be, viz. lawfully, to her Huſband, in conforming her Manners to his. And let not the Husband delight to domineer over his Wife, or pleaſe himſelf in ſhewing alwayes his Authority, (which none but fools will do, ſaith Mr. J. Robinſon). Nabal was, according to his Name, a very Fool, that was ſo churliſh, that neither Wife nor any body elſe could ſpeak to him. It was Abigails wiſdom to bear patiently with him; as it was the wiſdom of Socrates, that taught him to bear with his Zantippe, her daily home-brawlings, and thereby learned him to converſe quietly and patiently with unreaſonable, perverſe, and peeviſh perſons abroad.
The Husband ſhould be able alway to guide, counſel, and direct the Wife, to go before her as a man of knowledge. His Wife he ſhould uſe as a Comfort and Helper, not, (ſaith Sir Walter Rawleigh) as a Counſellor. When Adam in Innocency, (he obſerves) and Solomon, the wiſeſt of Temporal Princes, took counſel of their Wives, they both miſcarried; no ſuch wonder as lamentable then that other men have been ſo allured to ſo many inconvenient and wicked practices by the perſwaſions of their Wives, or other beloved Darlings. If Adam in the ſtate of perfection, and Solomon the Son of David, God's choſen Servant, and himſelf a man endowed with the greateſt wiſdom, did both of them diſobey their Creator by the inſtigation, and for the love they bear to a Woman; It is not ſo wonderful, &c. that others have done the like. So he.