Innocency Though Under a Cloud Cleared, Text 2
In the cloſe of this that I have writ, it will be convenient to give ſome account of my Impriſonment, now in the Tower; and the rather, in that one cauſe of ſomes cenſuring me, as was and …s pretended, relates to my former Liberty, and my preſent Impriſonment; For before I was impriſoned, that was (as ſome ſaid) the ground of their Jealouſy, In that ſo many were impriſoned, and yet I, that was ſo notoriouſly known, ſhould be at liberty; Though it was well known I was a Priſoner in the Marſhal-Generals houſe, I got out only upon 1000 l. bond to appear when ſent for. What charges I was at, and what hardſhips I underwent, I ſhal forbear to aſſert: but my long Liberty was by ſome judged a ground of their Jealouſie of me.
And now when I was taken out of my bed the twentieth day of August 1663, and carried before the Secretary, Sir Henry Bennet, who would …dmit me to ſpeak but little for my ſelf, but ſent me to this place; [And when I told him I muſt ſtarve if he ſent me thither, having no means to keep me; he did aſſure me that the King did allow Maintenance for all & each Priſoner; though to this day, which is twenty five weeks, I have not had one bit of bread or drop of drink allowed me] And had it not been for the goodneſs of God, and ſome few Friends, I muſt have ſtarved. Now after I had been here about ſeven weeks, I was ſent for by the King, upon the earneſt requeſt of a Kinſman of mine; and when the King heard my name, he remembred that he was told, his Father had left ſomething of his Will with me: ſo ſent for me as I ſaid, & a Guard of Muſquetiers carried me to Whitehall, and after a long time of ſtaying, I was carried before the King, who had my Articles (as I judge) in writing; after a little mentioning of them, he asked me, If I had not ſome Meſſage from his Father? I anſwered, I had. So he cauſed all there to withdraw; and then I begged pardon of his Majeſty that I might either not ſpeak any thing, or to have liberty to ſpeak all; for, ſaid I, If I ſpeak all, it may offend ſome; and if I ſpeak not all, I ſhall offend my own Conſcience. So the King very freely told me, I had liberty to ſpeak all. I then did, and I bleſs God my memory did not fail me, but I ſpake all and each particular as I received it; His Majeſty was ſo far from taking it ill, that he did kindly imbrace it, and told me Had not Parliaments bound up his hands, he had anſwered his Father's Will in theſe things before now and ſaid, he hoped to do it.
Now what the particulars were, I had not before, nor now, liberty to declare to others, But I hope it will be by his Majeſty; for there is not any man living, let him be of what perſwaſion he will, but would have good thoughts of the old King for it; and good thoughts of his Majeſty for accepting of it; unleſs they be ſuch that will believe nothing: for if it were the laſt word I ſhould ſpeak, [It was that which did ſo much tend to the good of the Nation in general, and to all that fear God in particular, that if the beſt and wiſeſt men in the Nation ſhould have liberty to have drawn up their deſires in general heads for good to this Land, they could not have deſired better: Although I am for this, as I have for all things elſe, been cenſured and condemned, ſome affirming that I had ſaid ſomething to the King, that was againſt the Intereſt of all Gods People; A thing which I had rather die than do. 'Tis in this, as in all the reſt; for before I was in Priſon, that was a ground, that I was carrying on deſigns for his Majesty, And now I am brought to Priſon, the ſame parties ſaid, I put my ſelf in Priſon as a Cover; And with this they have filled the ears both of City and Country: And though I had not a bit of bread, nor drop of drink allowed me, yet they affirmed I had ſuch an Allow…nce, that it was ill for any to bring any thing to me: and if any did come to me, they were ſadly …udged and condemned for it; Should I but in…ert the dealings of this ſort of people, no Re…ords make mention of the like dealing. Had I …een, or were I what theſe ſort of people ſay I am, knowing what I knew, ſure I ſhould do ſomething to anſwer their Evil with Evil: but bleſſed be God, for ever bleſſed be God, I have learned better; And I will leave my Cauſe for God to judge, and my Innocency to him, to bring out as Gold, as Job did, Job 23.10. and ſhall rather ſtudy to follow my dear Lord, and reſt quiet in his Will: If he will by this Croſs bring me to the Crown, I beg no more. Come Lord Jeſus, come quickly. Amen, Amen.