The Magical-Astrological-Diviner Posed and Puzzled, Treatise · Chapter 27 · Section 20
20. Of the abſurd and ridiculous reaſons, which have been rendred by Mag-aſtro-mancers, both for the rules of their art, and their practice upon thoſe rules, and the events upon thoſe practices; yea, and the remedies of thoſe events.
THey of Lebedia ſacrificing before the Oracle of Iupiter Triphonius, the cocks hapned to crow apace all the while; This, ſaid the Soothſaying Sacrificuliſts, preſaged victory to the Baeotians, over the Thebanes. And they gave this reaſon for their divination: becauſe that bird is ſilent, being vanquiſhed; but crowes alwaies when he is conquerour.
A certain Courſer, intending to try his ſpeed at the Olympick games, dreamt the night before, that he was carried thither in a Chariot: and conſulting a Conjecturer upon it, Thou ſhalt winne (ſaid he) I warrant thee; for a Chariot ſignifies ſwiftneſſe and ſpeed.
Another of them dreamt, that he was turned into an Eagle. Thou ſhalt get the maſtery (quoth the interpreter) becauſe this Foule flies the ſwifteſt of all other. Another of them dreaming the like dream, ah (quoth the diviner) it is to be feared thou wilt come laſt, becauſe this bird purſuing her prey, follows in the taile of the other.
A certain Matron (longing to be pregnant) dreamt her belly was ſealed up: this preſages barrenneſſe, ſaid one divining expounder, becauſe nothing can come forth of that which is ſealed up. Nay, ſaid another, this imports fruitfulneſſe, becauſe no body uſes to ſeale up that veſſell, or bagge which is empty, and hath nothing in it.
St. Ambroſe thus derides their reaſons: Can any thing be more ridiculous then to ſay (as the prognoſticating Aſtrologers uſed) that if a man be born under the Signe of Aries, he ſhall be wiſe in counſell. And why? becauſe the Ram is eminent in leading the flock. Item, he ſhall be rich. And why? becauſe the Ram hath every yeer a rich fleece growing on his back. If he be born under the ſigne Taurus, he ſhall be ſtrong, laborious, potent in ſervice, &c. And why? becauſe the Bull or the Oxe ſubmits his neck to the yoke. He that is born under Leo, Scorpio, Piſces; ſhall be fierce, malicious, ſilent: And why? becauſe Lyons are fierce, Scorpions are poyſonous, and Fiſhes are mute, &c.
Upon the Statue of Auguſtus there was inſcribed Caeſar?: now it being thunder-ſtriken, it happened that the letter C was thereby blotted out: upon which it was anſwered by the divining Oraculiſts, that Auguſtus had onelyonly a hundred dayes to live; becauſe the letter C notes that number: and after that ſhould be tranſlated among the Gods; becauſe Aeſar in the Hetrurian language ſignifies a God.
Livia being great with childe, and willing to take the Omen, whether ſhe ſhould bring forth a ſon, or a daughter; an egge was taken from under a ſitting hen, and (according to the preſcripts of divining omination) was kept warm in her hands, or in the hands of her maids, hatching it by turns; till at laſt comes out a Cock gallantly creſted or Combed, whereupon Scribonius a Mathematician promiſed famous things of the infant; and that he ſhould raign, but without any kingly enſign. That it ſhould be a male childe, he gathered from the Cock chicken; but (by the ſame reaſon) why ſhould he be without any kingly enſigne, ſeeing the Cock was ſo bravely creſted, or combed.
Proclus gives an example in a ſpirit, which was wont to appear in the form of a Lyon; but by the ſetting of a Cock before it, vaniſhed away: becauſe there is a contrariety betwixt a Cock and a Lyon.
Orus Apollo ſaith in his hieroglyphicks, Dawes, that are twins ſignifie marriage: becauſe this animal brings forth two eggs, out of which male and female muſt be brought forth. But if (which ſeldom happeneth) two males be generated, the males wil not couple with any other females, nor females with any other males, but will alwayes live without a mate, and ſolitary. Therefore, they that meet a ſingle Daw, divine thereby that they ſhall live a ſingle life.
The Eagle portends victory, but by blood, becauſe ſhe drinks no water, but blood. An Owle becauſe ſhe goes to her young by night unawares, as death comes unawares, is therefore ſaid to foretel death. Yet ſometimes, becauſe ſhe is not blinde, in the dark of the night, doth betoken diligence and watchfulneſſe, which ſhe made good, when ſhe ſate upon the ſpear of Hiero.
Fauſtina the wife of Antonius, fell in love with a ſwordplayer, and fell ſick for him: her husband how this might be remedyed, made his conſult with the ſoothſayers: whoſe advice was to kill the Fencer, and let his wife bathe her in his blood, and preſently accompany with her himſelf; and ſo the paſſion would be allayed.
Melampus the Augur conjectured at the ſlaughter of the Greeks, by the flight of little birds; when he ſaith, thou ſeeſt that no bird taketh his flight in fair weather.
Swallowes, becauſe when they are dying, they provide a place of ſafety for their young; do portend a great patrimony, or legacy after the death of friends. A Bat meeting any one that is running away, ſignifies an evaſion: for although ſhe have no wings, yet ſhe flies. A Sparrow is a bad omen to one that runs away: for ſhe flies from the Hawk, and makes haſte to the Owle, where ſhe is in great danger. To meet a Lyon, ſeeing ſhe is amongſt animals the ſtrongeſt, is good: but for a woman to meet a Lyoneſſe, is bad; becauſe ſhe hinders conception; for a Lyoneſſe brings forth but once. A Dog in a journey is fortunate; becauſe Cyrus being caſt into the Woods was nouriſhed by a Dog, till he came to the Kingdom. Mice ſignifie danger; for the ſame day that they did gnaw gold in the Capitol, both the Conſuls were intercepted by Hannibal, by way of ambuſh neer Tarentum. The Piſmires, becauſe they know how to provide for themſelves, and to prepare ſafe neſts for themſelves, portend ſecurity, riches, and a great Army. Hence, when the Piſmires had devoured a tame Dragon of Tiberius Caeſar, it was adviſed that he ſhould take heed of the tumult of a multitude.
If a Snake meet thee, take heed of an ill-tongued enemy: for this animal hath no power, but in his mouth. A Snake creeping into Tiberius his palace, portended his fall. Two Snakes were found in the bed of Sempronius Gracchus; wherefore a ſoothſayer told him, if he would let the male go, or the female eſcape he, or his wife ſhould ſhortly dye: he preferring the life of his wife, killed the male, and let the female eſcape, and within a few dayes he dyed. But Tully tels the ſtory otherwiſe, and reaſons better upon it. I marvel (ſaith he) if the emiſſion of the female Snake ſhould bring death to Tiberius Graccbus; & the emiſſion of the male Snake were deadly to Cornelia, why he did diſmiſſe either of them. For the ſoothſayers anſwered nothing of any future accident, if neither were diſmiſt. And that Graccbus his death followed, the cauſe (I believe) was ſome diſeaſe, and not the Serpents diſmiſſion.
Meeting of Monks is commonly accounted as an ill omen, and ſo much the rather if it be early in the morning: becauſe theſe kind of men live for the moſt part by the ſuddain death of men; as Vultures do by ſlauhgters.
Apollonius, and his companions (according to his advice) cauſed the phantaſm of an Hagge to vaniſh away by reviling it: for he knew that was the beſt remedy againſt ſuch invaſions. For ſo fearful is this kind of ſpirits, that they once moved, tremble, and are compelled by feigned terror, and falſe and impoſſible threats. So the Hagge of Menippus Lyeius, who was the cauſe of the Peſtilence, being ſtoned by his command, and the peſtilence ceaſed. And was not that, becauſe they are afraid of impoſſible beatings, as well as impoſſible threatnings?