The Life and Death of Thomas Tregosse, Section 2
SECT. II. Mr. Tregoſſe's Converſion; and ſeveral Accidents that attended the ſame.
SEptember 1663. Mr. Tregoſſe removed his habitation to the Baron of Kigilliack, in the Pariſh of Badock, near Penryn; where he kept up his Lords days meetings, many flocking to him. About the begining of October 1664. he and his Wife lying awake in their bed, they felt a great Earth-quake, which made the room to tremble and quake under them, as they aphrehended: and that which gave them the greater cauſe of admiration, was, that no one elſe felt the ſame. But this was but a Prognoſtick and ſymbolick Image of that dreadful Tremblement or Earth-quake, which not long after Mr. Tregoſſe felt in his Conſcience. For, on the firſt of January following, it being the Lords-day, the Lord led him to preach on that Text, Luke 12.47. And that Servant which knew his Lords will, and prepared not himſelf, neither did according to his will, ſhall be beaten with many ſtripes. On which he ſhewed, what a dangerous ſin it is to ſin againſt knowledge. The duties of the day being finiſhed, his old ſins were livelily preſented to him; eſpecially one among the reſt. Hereupon he betook himſelf to his Duties, but drove on very heavily; yet the Lord, by an omnipotent pull, drew him on. In one one Duty among the reſt, he was aſſaulted with that Scripture, Heb 12.17. For ye know, how that afterward, when he would have inherited the bleſſing, he was rejected: For he found no place for repentance, though he ſought it carefully with tears. He frequently aſſayed to ſhake off the chains and cords of the Spirit, grieving that he was bound up from the world; his performance of duties was not without much deadneſs and unbelief. But the Lord bound him faſt to his work, forcing him to follow on in a way of ſeeking. Sometimes he feared God would leave him to run into his former courſes; yea, that he ſhould not perſevere to the end of one day. But the Lord magnifyed his power and grace above and beyond his fears. Sometimes in reading, the Lord would ſet home threatning, then comforting Scriptures to keep him equally ballanced between hopes, that he might not ſink, and fears that he might nor preſume. He was detained for about 5 weeks ſpace under much bondage, and afflictive terrours, with little or no diſcoveries of Gods gracious diſpoſition; till about the beginning of February, being under a reſolution to reveal ſome ſins which burdened his Conſcience, he met with a paſſage in an Engliſh Divine, touching the greatneſs and freeneſs of Chriſts love and purchaſe; which, the Lord ſetting home, he was a little quieted and refreſhed by. The next day being the Lords-day, he had a ſweet heart-melting conſideration of his ſins, together with a lively contemplation of Chriſt pierced; to whom he directed an eye of Faith. And now he, who thought it an hard matter to ſhed one tear, drops many; the Spirit of the Lord alſo bringing to his heart that promiſe, I will pardon their iniquity, and remember their ſin no more: and that of Chriſt to Thomas, Jo. 20.27. Reach hither thy finger, and behold mine hands, and reach hither thine hand, and thruſt it into my ſide; and be not faithleſs, but believing; and this was promoted by reading the hiſtory of Chriſts Paſſion. Yet was he not without ſome doubtings ſtill; yea, at times, all theſe his encouragements ſignifyed no more than nothing. After this, he was carryed on in Duties, with more enlargement, and affectionate workings, eſpecially at times.
And from this time he dated his converſion; For, albeit his converſion, for ſome conſiderable time before, was irreproachable, and his labours in the work of the Miniſtry indefatigable; yea, and his Zeal for Non conformity remarkable; yet he judged the whole of his foregoing life zeal, and labour in the Miniſtry, to be no other then a continued ſeries of Formality and hypocriſie. And becauſe ſome of his friends who knew his former converſation well, could not but conceive that he had ſincere Grace, before this great turn; A friend of his diſcourſing with him on this point, he peremptorily affirmed, That he aſsuredly knew, that he had nothing of ſincerity before this great work, and withall he bewailed the Church of England, in that generally men were made Miniſters before they were made Chriſtians; Yea, he was not without great fears, that many, who in humane eſtimation, now paſs for able and good Miniſters, will one day be found to be, according to Divine eſtimation, not ſo much as good or ſincere Chriſtians. Theſe fears, we may preſume, he grounded on his own experience of himſelf, (beſides other common obſervations,) who had the vogue of being a faithful Miniſter, before he was a faithful Chriſtian. And that which yet adds further weight is this, that though he was before this time a conſtant and faithful Preacher, yet he could not ſay the Lord had given him any Covenant, as the fruit of his Miniſtry, though he received many Seals thereof afterward.
Some ſhort while after theſe great, which he ſtrongly concluded were the firſt ſincere turnings of his Soul to God, being brought very low in his Body and Spirits, he conjectured his death was near: Then was that Scripture caſt in, Pſal. 118. I ſhall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. And being again under a return of ſtrong perſwaſions and fear that he ſhould die, looking into his Bible, there was preſented to his eye that Text, Pſal. 53.5. There were they in great fear where no fear was; which diſpelled that perſwaſion: and not long after, by the uſe of means, with the bleſſing of God thereon, he gain'd ſtrength in order to his future ſervice. Some ſhort time after this, on a Saturday, being very weak in body, and under deſpair of recovery, he went up to his chamber as well as his feeble legs would carry him, and fell down on his knees to Prayer: whilſt he was on his knees, on a ſudden, as it ſeem'd, agreat meaſure of ſtrength was given in to him, even to his aſtoniſhment. Whereupon he attempted to ariſe and walk; which he did two or three turns about his chamber very ſtrongly. Then calling for his Wiſe, ſhe ſoon perceived his pale cheeks clothed with their wonted colour ond complexion; and now he, that not many moments before, thought himſelf at the brink of the grave, was enabled to perform the duties of the evening, and next Lords-day, with much vigour and ſtrength. Since theſe ſignal marks of Divine ſavour and aſſiſtance, afforded both to his Soul and body; he, with ſome other Chriſtians obſerved a monthly Faſt, to afflict themſelves before the Lord, for their own, their Family, and National ſins. After theſe his firſt turns to God, he found a more then ordinary aſſiſtance in his ſtudies and work, the Lord caſting in abundant matter, and affecting him therewith.