The Young Mans Guide, Chapter 19
CHAP. XIX. Of the well▪ ordering and governing our Words.
II. AS thy thoughts must be well ordered and governed, so likewise thy words, which is of special importance for preservation both of our outward and inward peace; and wherein consisteth much of the truth and reality of our Religion. For if a man seem to be Religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but breaketh out into bitter and reviling speeches, that mans Religion is vain, or to no purpose, Iam. 1. 26. Though his Profession be glorious, yet it will little advantage his Soul. Therefore Solomon adviseth, next to the keeping our hearts, to keep our tongues, Prov. 4. 23, 24. we ought to be the more careful of our tongues.
1. Because we are very prone to offend therein; corrupt speaking being the ordinary issue of our corrupt nature.
2. Christ hath delivered it as a certain truth, That for every idle word that men shall speak, they must give account in the day of Iudgment. And that by our words we shall be justified, and by our words we shall be condemned, Mat. 12. 36, 37. Because mens words do declare what their inward disposition is; therefore by their words are they justified, or condemned.
Beware therefore, O Young Man, that thou dost not vainly and causleslly increase thy accounts, either by rotten and unsavoury, or by idle and unprofitable discourses. Far be it from thee to use this wind of words, as Bellows to kindle against thy self the flame of Gods wrath here, and the fire of Hell in the life to come. But rather let it be thy care with the Prophet David, To take heed to thy ways, that thou offend not with thy tongue, Psal. 39. 1.
For thy better help therein, take these few Directions.
1. Be not too free of thy tongue, but let thy words be few, knowing that in multitude of words there wanteth not sin; but he that refraineth his lips is wise, Prov. 10. 19. And Prov. 17. 27. He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit, knowing when to speak, and when to keep silence; and vers. 28. Even a Fool when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise, because he hath this happiness, not to discover his want of wisdom. Many a mans folly and ignorance would not appear, could he but keep his own counsel. And the Apostle Iames, Chap. 1. 19. exhorteth to be swift to hear, and slow to speak. To which purpose Nazianzen well observeth, how God hath appointed a double guard to keep in the tongue; namely, the lips, and two rows of teeth, that it might be restrained from breaking out by this double fence. Be not therefore lavish in words, but sparing in thy speech; for silence is an excellent Vertue, and saveth many a mans Credit, Reputation, and Conscience.
2. Let your converse one with another be more fruitful; communicating your experiences, your comforts and supports one to another, exhorting one another, and provoking one another to love, and good works. This questionless is one end of Gods bestowing his gifts and graces upon us, that we might impart what we have received, to the spiritual good and benefit one of another. And hereby shall we increase and improve our own gifts, and graces; by communicating we increase our store. We may warm our own hearts by our endeavours to warm our Brethrens.
That your discourses may be the more profitable, have ever in your mind some useful questions to propound to others: but therein be sure to have respect to the abilities and capacities, and the edifying of your selves, or them, to whom you propound your doubts. If they be Learned Divines, or experienced Christians, then you may desire the opening and clearing some difficult place of Scripture, or the resolving some Case of Conscience, or the explaining some hard point in Divinity. If they be your Equals in understanding, then suit your discourse to their capacities; and let it be your wisdom to observe wherein mens abilities chiefly consist, and to apply your selves to them accordingly; whereby you will much advantage your selves, and give others occasion to improve those gifts and talents which God hath bestowed on them.
3. When others are talking of worldly or common matters, labour to turn the stream of their discourses to some spiritual and savoury subject, to talk of God, or Christ, or Heaven, or of the way and means that lead thereunto. It is much to be lamented, that professing Christians should so often meet together to so little purpose. How is their time generally taken up with discourses of worldly matters, without a word of God, or Heaven! whereas if we are furnished with skill and resolution to imbrace all opportunities which might minister matter of digression from worldly to spiritual and heavenly discourses, we might make our meetings far more profitable than they are.
4. Be not over-forward either in revealing that which another hath committed to thy trust, or in revealing thine own secrets to another, lest in the end, he proving to be unfaithful, thou be inforced (but too late) to repent thy folly. That which thou wouldst not have told to another, tell no body; for if thou canst not, why shouldst thou think another will conceal what concerns thee?
5. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of thy mouth, Eph. 4. 29. Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, Ephes. 5. 3, 4. It is better to forbear speaking, than to vent that which is vain and unprofitable, or worse than silence. Abstain therefore from all evil speakings, of which the Apostle there mentioneth three kinds.
1. Obscene and wanton speeches, which he calleth filthiness, and reckoneth amongst those evil speakings, which he would not have named amongst Christians: Yet how full of them are the mouths of many young men? who make it their repast and reputation to utter wanton speeches, to tell filthy tales, and to sing Songs of love and lightness, full of abominable filthiness; which plainly sheweth the pollution and uncleanness of their hearts; for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh, Matth. 13. 34. Obscene and unchaste speeches, as they spring from, so they are great provocations to lust; For evil communications corrupt good manners, 1 Cor. 15. 33. words being as the vent of an unclean heart, and as Bellows to blow up its filthy fire into a greater flame.
Know then, O Young Men, it doth highly concern you in special, to be watchful over your words in this kind: For of all sorts of corrupt speeches, this filthy speech is the most beastly and corrupting. There are others more irksome to the ear; as Blasphemies, Swearing, Cursing, and the like; but wanton and lascivious talk is the most inticing: and so much the more to be taken heed of, because it's somewhat pleasant and delightsome both to carnal speakers and hearers. Observe the Songs that Young Men and Maidens have most frequently in their mouths, and you shall find them to be full of filthiness. Is it any wonder then that so many fall into divers kinds of unclean and beastly actions, when as their words are so seasoned, or rather poysoned with this filthiness? How can Chastity be preserved, when such provocations to Lust are continually used? The Soul of Iust and Righteous Lot was vexed with the filthy speeches of the Sodomites, 2 Pet. 2. 7. And how canst thou think that thou hast a righteous Soul in thee, if thou take delight in uttering, or hearing filthy speeches?
2. Another kind of evil speaking, which the Apostle mentioneth, is foolish talking; whereby he meaneth vain and unprofitable discourses of whatsoever cometh into mens heads, which tend to no good purpose, but are used only to pass away time. Many, I know, are apt to think, that vain and idle words are not to be reckoned of: But let such remember, that God registreth them all, and will bring them one day to a reckoning for the same, before his Judgment-seat.
O Young Man, how doth it then concern thee to be watchful over thy words, and speeches? Oh think not vain and unprofitable discourses to be so light as not to be regarded. Consider to what end God made thy Tongue; namely, to glorifie him, and edifie thy Brother. Consider also what a precious thing time is, (which we ought by all means to redeem) and thou shalt find, that to pervert the right end of the Tongue by ▪babling foolish things, and to mispend so much precious time thereby, is no light or small sin.
3. Iesting is the next kind of evil speaking, mentioned by the Apostle, Eph. 5. 4. whereby he especially meaneth such jesting as tends to the abusing of Scripture, or deriding such as fear God, or mocking of our Neighbour. The word foreign, in the Text, Aristotle sets down for a Vertue, which the Apostle there condemneth for a Vice. And truly Iesting (especially without great watchfulness, as to the matter and measure of it) doth very ill become Christians. For,
1. It's not agreeable to our Profession, which requireth a very grave and serious Spirit, and behaviour.
2. It's apt to put the heart out of tune, to discompose it for those weighty and spiritual concernments which we have before us, and to dispose us for vanity and frothiness.
3. It's an occasion of mispending much precious time, and of abusing that gift of Wit which God hath given for the good and profit of others, and not for the hurt and disgrace of any.
Pleasantness of converse, so it be innocent, and tending to good, is both allowable and commendable: but that liberty of Wit which we intend for a recreation, should be but as Sauce to our meat, but little as to the measure of it, and profitable as to the end of it; namely, to whet the appetite to that which is better.