The Young Mans Guide, Chapter 17
CHAP. XVII. Of Back-biting, or Tale-bearing, which is another Vice whereunto Young Men are addicted.
VII. ANother sin whereunto Youth is subject, is Back-biting, or Tale-bearing, which is a malicious defaming▪ of a man behind his back, an uncharitable blazing abroad his failings and infirmities. This we find expresly forbidden by God in his Word, Lev. 19. 16. Thou shalt not go up and down as a Tale-bearer among thy People, publishing those faults of theirs, which ought rather to be concealed. The word in the Original, signifieth a walking about with Tales, as it were a Pedler with Wares. For as the Pedler having gathered up several Wares from several persons, carrieth them up and down from one place to another, and is ready to open his Pack in every place where he comes: In like manner, Back-biters, and Tale-bearers, having gathered up an evil Pack, the Rags and Scabs, the sores and faults of Gods People from several persons, carry them up and down from house to house, and there uncover, and vend them; not taking any notice the mean while of their Vertues, and good deeds, though they are far more than their failings. In which respect they may not unfitly be resembled to the Beetle, or Horse-fly, which when it flieth into a Field full of sweet Flowers, if there be but a little filthy dung in it, will be sure to light upon that, passing over the sweet Flowers. Thus is the Tale-bearer apt to pass by all the good things that are in Professors; but their slips and infirmities he gladly observes, and with delight can speak of them. But as our Saviour speaketh, Matth. 7. 3. Why beholdest thou the Mote that is in thy Brothers eye? why art thou so curious an observer of his smallest infirmities? think on thine own Beam, the greater evils which thou mayst find in thy self, and this would silence thy reproaches of thy Brother.
Surely if the Lord should so narrowly pry into all the faults of his servants, as we who are Fellow-servants do into the infirmities of one another, who were able to abide it? And should we pry into, and so freely publish our own naughtiness, the pride, the follies, the frowardness of our own hearts, as we do our Brethrens, what a name should we get us in the world? Let us rather in this shew our selves the Children of our heavenly Father. As he doth unwillingly see the faults of his Children, and passeth by many of their transgressions, Micah 7. 18. so let us be loth to see or hear of the infirmities of Gods Children, but rather pass them by, and with the Garment of Charity cover their nakedness.
I deny not but we may judge the Tree by the Fruit: If we see a man apparently guilty of lewd, scandalous sins, and impenitently continuing in them, we may (leaving his final damnation to the Searcher of all hearts) judge and censure him, for the present, to be in a most wretched estate. But we ought not to be too Critical in observing the slips and infirmities of our Neighbours; and then without sufficient reason, and with joy and delight, to speak of them unto others.
For the preventing whereof, I would commend unto you that Lesson which the Heathen Philosopher taught his Schollars; namely, In the seeing or hearing other mens faults to inquire, Numquid ego tale? whether I have done the like? or whether I may not do the same, or worse? For there is in every one of us that Original corruption, which containeth in it the seeds of all sins, which would spring forth in us as notoriously as in others, did not God keep them down, either by his renewing or restraining Grace. By reason of this Original corruption, the best of us have a disposition to the vilest sins: Therefore saith the Apostle, Gal. 6. 1. Brethren, if any man be overtaken with a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness, considering thy self, least thou also be tempted. That is, considering thine own frailty, how thou mayst easily be overtaken with the same, the like, or a greater sin: therefore deal as mildly and mercifully with him, as thou wouldst others should deal with thee; or thou art like to find the same measure from others, to find others as ready to censure and judge thee, as thou hast done thy Brother; who will have as little care of thy Credit, as thou hast had of his. For it oft falls out by the just Judgment of God, that they who are lavish in publishing their Brothers failings, do find others as forward to speak of, and spread their faults. Do as thou wouldst be done by: Wouldst thou not be evil spoken of? speak not evil of others. Wouldst thou not be made a by-word, and a reproach, and a Table-talk thy self? let not others be made so by thee.