Willful Impenitency, Sermon · Part 7
BUt may be you will ſay, this Doctrine is Pelagianiſme, or Arminianiſme, at leaſt. Nay then, let me tell you tis Arminianiſme to hold the contrary. You make your wills to be your owne, Note.and free for to will, that ſay your will is to repent, but you cannot. And if God ſhould give you a poſſe, yee profeſſe your ſelves to be of the Pelagian hereſye, if God ſhould give you a power, you would adde the will. To paſſe over this and ſo to go on.
1 Ʋſe For inſtructionExcept the beliefe of this truth do ſinke into thy heart, thou canſt never ſoundly be humbled;Thou canſt never be humbled unles thou believe this truth. if thou ſhouldſt ſay Lord I would faine have repented all this while, but I could not, thou never ſoundly wert humbled▪ a man is never humbled as long as hee excuſes himſelfe; thou ſayeſt I would be holier, I would pray better, and I would reform more, but I cannot; this is to fall to excuſes, and not to be humbled; For,
1. Excuſe.Firſt, thou excuſeſt thy ſelfe for all tranſgreſſions beſides originall. A man muſt be humbled for his actuall ſinnes as well as his originall, and count himſelfe inexcuſable for one as well as tother. But thou pitcheſt all thy humiliation upon thy Apoſtacy in Adam, if now thou pleadeſt a cannot. Lord, I confeſſe I was conceived in ſinne, but now I cannot doe with all; I cannot doe otherwiſe though I would never ſo faine. I cannot but drinke now and then and be drunke, I cannot but rap out an Oath now and then in my haſte, &c. I confeſſe I brought this cannot upon mee in the loynes of Adam; but upon the ſuppoſall of that doſt thou bid me give over my ſinnes? J cannot; this is not to be humbled, but to fall to excuſes. Its true, actuall corruption which naturally flowes from original requires that one and ſelfe ſame humiliation that originall does. But otherwiſe thou muſt be humbled with a new humiliation for thine actuall tranſgreſſions, or elſe thou art not humbled but pleadſt excuſes. David humbles himſelfe for both, with one humiliation for the one, Pſal. 51.5. whith another for the other, verſ. 3. But as long as thou pleadſt on this faſhion, thou excuſeſt thy ſelfe for thy actuall ſinnes, and never art humbled.
Nay ſecondly,2. Excuſe. thou excuſeſt thy ſelfe for thy originall ſinne too. Lord, I would be without ſinne, but J cannot, if I could I would; belike then if it had beene thy caſe as it was Adams thou wouldſt not have eaten of the forbidden fruit. And therefore it was his fault and not thine, thou wouldſt not have ſinned if thou couldſt have otherwiſe chuſed. And therefore thou excuſeſt thy ſelfe for that too; for thou ſayſt thou wouldſt not have ſinned if thou hadſt beene as hee, he ſinned when he might have otherwiſe chuſed; but thou wouldſt not have done ſo. Thus thou excuſeſt thy ſelfe for thine originall ſinne too; And therefore thou canſt not be humbled as long as thou pleadſt thus; the truth is thou didſt willingly ſinne as well as Adam… God made man upright, but they have ſought out many inventions. Eccl. 7.29. hee ſpeaketh of Adams being upight; God made Adam upright; hee does not ſay but man hath found out many inventions,Note. as though it were his fault alone that was created upright. No, God made man upright but they, marke, hee caſts the blame upon every man as well as Adam. But they have ſought out many inventions. Thus we muſt be humbled for our originall corruption; but thou canſt not be humbled as long as thou pleadſt on this manner; no thou excuſeſt thy ſelfe, and therefore thou wert never yet humbled.
3 Excuſe.Nay thirdly, thou excuſeſt thy ſelfe for every ſinne, thou makeſt all thy ſinnes to be nothing but infirmi…es, as though Pauls caſe were thine; the good which J would do, that do J not, and the evill which J would not do, that do I. I would be godlier then I am, but I cannot; and therefore thou makeſt all thy ſinnes to be infirmities.Sinne of Infirmity. What is a ſinne of infirmity but a ſinne the will proteſteth againſt? thou ſayeſt that thy will proteſteth againſt every of thy ſinnes, thou wouldſt leave them, but thou canſt not. See then how far thou art from ſound humiliation; thy preſumptuous ſinnes are all nothing with thee, thy ſtubborneſſe nothing, and thy wilfulneſſe nothing, no all thy ſinnes are infirmities. Nay thou makeſt thy ſinnes to be purely and only infirmities, invincible infirmities; invincible infirmities are the moſt excuſable of all. Now when thou ſayeſt thou ſtickeſt at a Cannot, thou makeſt thy ſinnes not onelyonly infirmities, but alſo invincible infirmities; ſuch as thou canſt not poſſibly avoide, thou wouldſt faine avide them but thou canſt not; and therefore if thou goeſt this way to work thou canſt never be humbled.
Nay fourthly,4. Excuſe. Thou commendeſt thy ſelfe more then God; nay if ever God ſhould inable thee and give thee power to be a new creature, thou makeſt thy ſelfe more beholding to thy ſelfe then to God. The will is more then the power; the will to believe and repent and convert, is more then the power; Actus ſecundus eſt nobilior actu primo. To be able to believe and to bee able to repent and become a new Creature, theſe are but firſt acts. If God would helpe thee to theſe, thou ſayſt thou wouldſt adde tother. Thou wouldſt believe and thou wouldſt convert, and thou wouldſt be a new creature; if God would give thee the power, thou wouldſt adde the act. And therefore thou commendeſt thy ſelfe more then God; for in morall powers which have a further reference unto act, the act is more noble then the power. The truth is, the will is better then the power of doing; and both is of God, and ſo the Apoſtle does ſhew it. Its Gods that worketh in you, ſpeaking of the Saints; Its God that worketh in you both the will and the deed, Phil. 1.13. marke, the will and the deed. Firſt the will and then power to bring it into deed; the will is the primary bleſſing of God. And this is the reaſon why a child of Gods eſtate is now better under Chriſt, then it was before in innocency, Note.for then hee had onelyonly power if hee would; and now both the will and the deede. I ſay this is the truth, the will is more then the power; and therefore thou wert never humbled in thy life, that pleadſt, O I would if I could▪ thou makeſt thy ſelfe more beholding to ſelf then to God, if God ſhould ever convert thee; and therefore thou art not yet capable of converſion; why? thou art not yet humbled, but ſtandſt at proud termes with the Lord.
5. Excuſe.Nay fifthly, thou canſt not ſo much as pray to God for a will, thou art ſo proud, that thou art conceited thou haſt that already. I have as good a will to be good as any body elſe, but I cannot poſſibly do as I would; So that all thy prayers to God are a mockery. Apud Caſſandrum, Domine duc me quo non volo.The godly humble ſoule prayes as the ancient Church uſed to pray; Lord give mee a will to bee good which my will is ſet againſt. But thou canſt not pray ſo, thou art a richer begger then ſo; for thou had a good will already thou thinkeſt. A man cannot pray for a thing the lack wherof hee is not ſenſible thereof; if any man lack wiſedome, let him aske it of God, James 1.5. Hee cannot pray for a thing if hee do not thinke that hee lacks it; Nor thou for a will, for thou doſt not thinke that thou lackſt it. Nay if God ſhould convert thee thou canſt not give him thanks for converting thee; for thy will needed none; may be thou wilt pray for poſſibilities till thou haſt them, and give him thanks for poſſibilities when thou haſt them, but thou canſt not pray for a will, for thou thinkeſt thou haſt it; nor give him thankes for thy will, for that is thine owne. So that thou art Deviliſhly proud; never humbled ſince thou wert borne. Nay thou art ſo proud that all thy Prayers are but mockeries, and thy giving of thankes is a mockery. How canſt thou look that God ſhould convert thee, when as thy proud heart tells God before hand, thou wouldſt not thanke him if hee ſhould.
Nay ſixthly,6. Excuſe. thou caſteſt all the blame upon God; for its even juſt as if thou ſhouldſt ſay, I cannot helpe it if God be not pleaſed to inable mee, how can I helpe it? my will is as good as anothers, ſuch and ſuch are ſo forward and ſo Heavenly, God gives them the power; but my will God knowes is as good as theirs, I would faine do as well as the beſt,Carnall men excuſe themſelves, and caſt the blame up-God. bus I Cannot; O if God would inable mee, I would. O beloved take deede of theſe conceits, for yee caſt all the blame upon God; whereas the blame is in your ſelves, yee would not be inabled. I ſay yee caſt all the blame upon God.
Firſt, becauſe yee cast the blame upon nature, 1. Demon.its my nature, and I cannot; I would, but its my nature and I cannot. Thou layeſt the blame upon thy nature, and therefore thou caſteſt the blame upon God for not helping thee to a better nature; it is God that juſtly determines mens natures. Ones nature is more cholerick, anothers more fearfull, anothers more lazy, anothers more luſtfull. Doſt thou lay the blame upon nature, my nature is more ſubject to choler, and wrath? Alas, thou layeſt blame upon God. For its hee that diſpoſeth of mens natures; and therefore, thou takeſt part with thoſe wretches that ſaid, why haſt thou made mee thus? Rom. 9.20. thou layeſt the blame upon God, I would not do thus, but onelyonly tis my nature, and I cannot helpe it. No. And wilt thou lay the blame upon God? No▪ no; this is thy nature and thou art contented with this nature.
2 Demon.Secondly, Thou doſt caſt the blame upon temptations, it is my hard hap to fall upon temptations. I was tempted or I would not have done it; this is to caſt the blame upon God too, for it is his providence to order temptations. Such and ſuch temptations for one man, ſuch and ſuch for another, ſuch now and ſuch then. Its the providence of God that diſpoſeth which and which temptations every man ſhall have. One ſhall have temptations to Pride, another temptations to Wrath, another to Revenge, another to Coveteouſneſſe. Its true; God tempteth no man, but hee orders the temptations of men. Let no man ſay hee is tempted of God,James 1.13 for God tempteth no man. No, every man is tempted to ſinne by his owne luſts. Thus thou wouldſt ſay if thou wert humbled; but thou layeſt the blame upon God; it was long of temptations that I did it. This is as if thou ſhouldſt ſay 'twas long of God, that I did it, becauſe 'twas Gods providence that ſuffered theſe temptations to bee layd for thee.
Thirdly, becauſe thou layeſt the blame upon the times, the times are very bad. 3 Demon.I would not goe in this faſhion, but onelyonly that the times require it. I would be more given to faſting and repeating the Word, &c. I would willingly be more forward then I am but the times are very bad; This is to lay the blame upon God too, for God ſetteth every mans time. If I had beene in Chriſts time, or Pauls time, or Queene Elizabeths time, I would have done thus and thus. Thou layeſt the blame upon God, for God ſetteth every mans time; When God from eternity made his common place-Booke of all the whole World, hee appointed ſuch and ſuch to live firſt, ſuch next▪ and ſuch laſt; Such and ſuch to live here, and ſuch there; Such at Rochford, and ſuch at London; ſo ſayes the Apoſtle, hee hath made of one bloud all Nations of men, to dwell on all the face of the Earth; and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitations, Acts 17.26. marke, hee hath appointed the times▪ and the places. The times when they ſhall live, and the places where. God ſetteth mens times; and therefore thou which layeſt the blame upon the times, layeſt the blame upon God.
Fourthly,4 Demon. becauſe thou layeſt the blame upon this Commandement, if it were any Commandement but this, J would do it; But this I cannot do; if it were any other injury but this, any diſgrace but this, I could willingly put it up, but I cannot put up this; if it were any duty but this; I would doe any thing but this, but to roote out all diſorders out of my houſe alas I cannot doe this, I cannot live, as good keepe no Inne at all, as not ſuffer men to call for what they would, I cannot doe this; this is to caſt the blame upon God too, that he ſhould make ſuch a Commandment as this, he ſhould have done well to have made another Law, and penned another Goſpel, and then I would have kept it: thou layeſt the blame upon God for it is God that made all theſe commandments, theſe are the commandments of the Lord, Deut. 6.1. The Lord made all the commandments, and this too, and therefore if thou layeſt the blame upon this, thou layeſt the blame upon God.
5 Demon.Fiftly, becauſe thou layeſt the blame upon ill fortune and bad lucke, it was my ill fortune to marry a ſhrew, and I cannot but fret and lie out of doores. Alas, marriages are made in heaven, and God had decreed them; thus thou layeſt the blame upon God, twas my ill fortune to miſcarry, to light upon ſuch a companion, to be ſo overtaken as I was, I would willingly have had it to have been otherwiſe, but I had not the lucke of it, and it fell out very unluckily; thus thou committeſt two evils,Note. thou playeſt the Atheiſt in ſpeaking of fortune, like them in the Prophet that prepared a table for fortune as the word ſignifies, Eſay. 65.11. I ſay thou committeſt two evils, one in calling it fortune, the other, thou layeſt the blame upon God, for that which thou profoundly calleſt fortune and lucke,That which men call fortune, is Gods providence. it's foreign ſayes Ariſtotle, the very Heathen is able to tell it is God, and the Scripture puts it for Gods providence; and therefore when thou layeſt the blame upon ill fortune, thou layeſt the blame upon God, ſo that hence yee may ſee, that thou canſt never be humbled as long as thou pleadeſt on this wiſe before God. I would very willingly, but I cannot: I ſay thou canſt never be humbled, becauſe this is to lay the blame upon God. Indeed a child of God, that of unwilling is made willing, he may plead a cannot before Chriſt without laying the blame upon God. Lord, I can't humble my proud heart, nor crucifie this bewitching luſt of mine, Lord I am not able to do it, I beſeech thee to helpe me. I ſay a child of God that is ſincerely willing to do it, may plead a cannot before Chriſt; nay Chriſt his promiſe can nowhere be applied, but where the ſoule can truly plead a cannot. He giveth power to the faint, to him that hath no might I will increaſe ſtrength, Iſay. 40.29. when the ſoule lies tugging and pulling at his heart and cannot pull it up, ſtriving and endeavouring and uſing all holy meanes and cannot, its even faint with pulling and tugging at that which it cannot. As ye know twil make any man faint to be tugging at a milſtone, which he cannot pull up. When the ſoul lies thus at a cannot, I will give power ſaies Chriſt, though it have no ſtrength, I will inable it: a child of God that is willing may pleade a cannot, without laying the blame upon God, but then he humbles his ſoule for all his former will nots, nay for his too too many will nots for the preſent. But thou canſt never be humbled while thou liveſt, if thou pleadſt thus a cannot, becauſe thou layeſt the blame upon God.
6 Demon.Nay ſixthly, thou canſt not be humbled becauſe thou doſt not onelyonly lay the blame upon God for thy ſinnes, but thou findeſt fault with all gods proceedings; it is as if thou ſhouldeſt ſay, why does he bid me repent, when he knowes I cannot? why does he yet complaine? Rom. 9.19. he knowes that I cannot, why does he wooe me to do that which I cannot? or promiſe me bleſſings if I doe, when he knowes that I cannot? why does he helpe me to more and more knowledge? he does but hurt me with knowledge, and make my ſinnes to be worſe, which I cannot forſake. My ſinnes are now againſt knowledge, and Miniſters tell me that is worſe; this is all that I get by your preaching; nay thou findeſt fault with all Gods corrections: why does he puniſh me for not doing of that which I cannot? thus thou art far from being humbled; the truth is, thou mighteſt get a great deale by knowledge, by exhortations, and reproofes and corrections, but thou wilt not: is it not eaſier to leave a ſinne when thou knoweſt it, then when thou art ignorant of it? to be moved when thou art exhorted, then when thou art not admoniſhed at all? to forſake a ſinfull courſe when once God hath imbittered it to thy fleſh by corrections, then when it was ſweet? is it not eaſier to give over drunkenneſſe, when thy exceſſe is bitter to thy ſtomacke, then when it it was pleaſant? ſo it is with every other ſin, thou mighſt get a great deale of God by every one of Gods dealings, but thou wilt not. Why ſhould you be ſtricken any more? yee will revolt more and more, Eſay. 1.5. Ye will ſaies God, this is Gods language he finds fault with thy will, but thou findſt fault with his will; why does he ſmite me more and more, I cannot but revolt? I cannot doe as he would have mee; may be thy luſts are more mannerly then to ſay thus; but this ſecret grumbling is in thee, if thou ſayeſt that thou ſtickeſt at a cannot, and therefore thou canſt not be humbled.2 Vſe. Which diſcovers the hearts deceitfulneſſe.
In the ſecond place, if it be thus, the reaſon why thou doſt not amend, is not becauſe thou canſt not, but becauſe thou wilt not.
See here then the deceit of thy heart.
If God would give me grace, I would willingly doe any thing; this is nothing but the deceitfulneſſe of thy heart, which is deceitfull above all things. Ier. 17.9.For thy heart does but here lye unto God; I would very faine, if God would inable me; thou lyeſt; God knowes it is not ſo: like the willfull Jewes, they would be Gods people, they would ſtay themſelves upon God; God tels them in effect they lyed, I knew thou wert obſtinate, and thy neck is an iron ſinew, and thy brow braſſe, Iſay. 48.4. wouldſt thou beleive in me? no, no, I know thou art obſtinate and wilt not; ſo God knowes thou art obſtinate. I cannot ſee this is a ſinne to ſay faith and troth, I cannot ſee tis a ſinne not to pray daily in my family, not to repeate the ſermon every Sabboth: If I could ſee it were a ſinne I would mend it; no, no, thou lyeſt to God, thou art obſtinate and thou wouldeſt not have it a ſinne, and thou wilt not beleive it, and if thou didſt know it to be one, thou wouldeſt not reforme it.
Secondly, hereby thou dodgeſt with God, and thou tempteſt the Lord. If God would give me grace I would doe it; this is nothing but dallying and trifling with the Lord; for why doſt thou not ſet about it and try every day what thou canſt doe? If God would but quicken me and perſwade me, and compell me, and inable me, I would doe it. Alas thou dodgeſt with God as the people in the Goſpel, if he will come downe from the croſſe we will beleive in him, Mat. 27.42. they had no will to beleive in him, this was nothing but dodging: Chriſt had done enough for them to make them believe, if they had any ſuch will, and this was nothing but a pretence of their deceitfull heart.
Thirdly, hereby thou ſhuffleſt of the word, when thou haſt heard it, God give me grace to do ſo as he hath taught me this day, alas I cannot my ſelfe, God give me grace, and ſo ſhuffleſt it off, and think'ſt no more of it: like (thoſe you call) godfathers in ſome places, as ſoon as ever they are charged at the Font to looke to the child, and ſee him brought up in religion, they preſently goe and put off the charge on the Father, I pray you take the charge upon you: ſo thou layeſt the charge at Gods doore, when God gives thee any duty in charge, thou layeſt it at his doore, as though it ſtucke there, and there thou letteſt it lie, not ſ…ing about it to doe it; God give me grace, repentance is his gift, and if he doe not give it, I cannot repent, I would but I cannot, if he do not give it: the ſpeech is very good and becomes a godly ſoule that makes conſcience of the meanes to ſay it, but this is thy ſhuffling to lay it at Gods doore, as though it ſtuck there; God tels thee plainly it does not ſticke at him, he would have all to come unto repentance, 2. Pet. 3.9. but thou wilt not come, and this is the deceit of thy heart to ſhuffle it from thee.
In the third place, is it ſo,3 Ʋſe. that the reaſon why thou doſt not amend, is not becauſe thou canſt not, but onelyonly becauſe thou wilt not?
Oh then my Brethren learn to be humbled.
This point calls for great humiliation.
Firſt,3 Ʋſe. Engage to humiliation. here lies eſpecially the pride of the heart, not in mens cannots, but their will nots; when a ſoule does whatſoever it can, reformes as much as it can, uſes as many meanes as it can, and as often as it can, this is not a proud heart: but a proud heart is that eſpecially which ſtickeſt at … will not. If ye will not heare, my ſoule ſhall weepe in ſecret places for your pride, Jer. 13.17. marke, for your pride, if you will not, he does not ſay if you cannot, my ſoule ſhall weepe for your pride, if ye ſtick at a cannot, but if yee ſtick at a will not; do not thinke this point does lift up mens wills, no, this point does as much beat at the humbling of the will, as any point under heaven; for here lies all the pride of the will, and therefore here yee muſt be humbled.
Secondly, here lies eſpecially the hardning of the heart: when a man ſtickes at a cannot, he does not more and more harden his heart, but onelyonly ſtickes at the ſame hardneſſe he had. Beloved, thou doſt then harden thy heart when thou wilt not obey, and therefore here's moſt need of thy humbling, to be humbled for thy will nots; its ſaid of Pharaoh he hardned his heart, Exod. 9.34. what followes? He would not let the children of Iſrael goe: thy will nots theſe are they that harden thy heart; doeſt thou complaine of the hardneſſe of thy heart? O goe and humble thy ſoule for thy will nots, theſe are the hardners of thy heart, nay let me tell thee, thou haſt no hardneſſe of heart, no more then an infant or a babe, but onelyonly that which thy will nots have made thee, and therefore thou haſt great reaſon to be humbled for thy will nots.
Thirdly, here lies eſpecially the ſtubbornneſſe of the heart; when a child that is commanded by his Parent to obey ſtickes at a cannot, he obeyes as farre as he can, but onelyonly he ſticks at a cannot, he is not ſtubborne; ſtubbornneſſe is when one ſtickes at a will not; if a man have a ſtubborne ſonne which will not obey the voice of his Father, Deut. 21.18. ſo here lies eſpecially the ſtubborneneſſe of thy heart, and therefore here's moſt humiliation required.
Fourthly, here lies the greateſt deſpiſings of the Commandments of God; authority is never ſo much deſpiſed as when men will not ſubmit to it: a father's deſpiſed when a ſonne will not heare him; and a maſter's deſpiſed when his ſervant will not do as he bids him; nay a commandment cannot be deſpiſed but by wil nots, it may be omitted, and not obeyed by cannots, but it cannot be deſpiſed but by will nots; if yee ſhall deſpiſe my ſtatutes, ſo that ye will not do all my commandments, &c. Levit. 26.15. O what infinite reaſon haſt thou to be humbled, that deſpiſeſt the Lord? He cannot endure that men ſhould deſpiſe him; he can put up any other wrong rather then this, that men ſhould deſpiſe him: but to be ſleighted and deſpiſed he will not, cannot endure it. For three tranſgreſſions of Judah, and for foure I will not turne away the puniſhment thereof, becauſe they have deſpiſed the law of the Lord, Amos. 2 4. he will not turne away the puniſhment of this ſinne, when men do deſpiſe him; what infinite need then haſt thou to be humbled under thy will not, thou deſpiſeſt the commandment.
Heres a word to you that are godly;4 Vſe. To quicken the thankfulneſſe of the godly. O what mercy hath the Lord ſhewed to you, and how ought you to be thankfull! never was there ſuch mercy as this, to ſhew mercy to the wilfull: O woefull ſoule, be his miſery never ſo great, hee's not the fit object of mercy; for though miſery be mercies object,Note yet joyn'd with wilfullnes it's not to be pittied: you have been as wilfull as any, all cut out of the ſame rocke; the Lord hath not onelyonly helpt you to mercy and grace, but alſo to a will to take it. When Lot was unwilling to goe out of Sodome, the Lord tooke him by the arme, and carried him perforce; now now ſee how the Text expreſſes it: the Angels tooke hold of his hand, the Lord being mercifull unto him▪ and they brought him forth, Gen. 19 16. As if he ſhould ſay, would you faine ſtay? you ſhall not; would you ſtand lingring to be conſumed with fire and brimſtone? you ſhall not: the Lord was mercifull to him whether he would or no. So you had no mercy on your ſelves, but the Lord had; yee were wilfull againſt merciemercy, and the Lord faſtned mercy on you, whether you would or no; he commanded his loving kindneſſe, Pſalm. 42.8. goe mercy and ſeize on them, goe loving kindneſse, and make them take yee; not as though God converted you againſt your wills: for when he converted you, your unwillingneſſe was taken away; but he made you of unwilling, willing. Oh the infinite mercy of God, and the infinite cauſe you have to be thankefull.
5 Ʋſe. A ſeaſonable Item to all rebellious ſpiritsIn the fifth place, to you that ſtand out in your wilfullneſſe ſtill; is it ſo that yee ſticke at a will not? then be exhorted to be much in abaſing your ſelves before the Lord: your ſtoutneſſe is intolerable, that you dare ſet up the briars and thornes againſt God in battle; down with them and be wiſe: you harden your own hearts, and diſable your ſelves more and more for repenting of it; ye deſpiſe the Lords name, by the ſtubborneneſſe of your froward will, you can never be ſaved except your wils ſtoop: before Chriſt will meddle with a ſoule, hee'l firſt aske, art thou willing? as he ask'd the blind man, what wilt thou that I doe unto thee? Lord ſaies he that I may receive my ſight, Luk. 18.41. So the firſt queſtion he puts to thee is, what wilt thou? Lord that I may be humble, converted, purged: if thou beeſt willfull, though he never take thee in hand,Pſal. 81 11. but leave thee to thy ſelfe, he will be juſtified in thine eternall confuſion.
Firſt,Conſider. Is it not enough that thou haſt willingly fallen in Adam, but thou muſt willingly ſtand out againe? God now calls thee to meanes of grace, thou haſt ſtood out once all ready, and wilt thou be wilfull to ſtand out againe? as Iſrael, though in a miſtake, ſaid to their brethren, is the iniquity of Peor too little for us, from the which we are not cleanſed to this day? but that yee muſt turne away this day too? Ioſh. 22.17. So may I ſay, is your willing apoſtacy in Adam too little for you, from the which yee are not cleanſed to this day? but yee muſt willingly ſtand out againſt Chriſt too?
Secondly, conſider the very Saints of God that have not halfe ſo many wil nots as you, that ſticke more truly at a cannot; I would doe the good but I cannot. I ſay the very Saints of God they labour to humble themſelves every day: O wretched man that I am ſaies Paul, Rom. 7.24. does Paul cry out, Oh wretched man that I am? he was a Saint of God, and heire of heaven, and ſure of bliſſe; does he cry out of himſelfe, that he was wretched? oh what infinite need then haſt thou to be humbled! Thou art yet a child of hell, an heire of damnation, wilfull in thy ſinnes to this houre, Oh wretched man that … am!
Thirdly, conſider the more ſhamfull ones ſinne is, the more reaſon to be humbled; thy ſinne is moſt ſhamefull; for thou corrupteſt thy ſelfe, they have corrupted themſelves, Deut. 32.5. ſo thou corrupteſt thy ſelfe, thy will corrupteth it ſelfe.
Nay fourthly, conſider ther's no greater ſhame then to make away ones ſelfe; thou deſtroyeſt thy ſelfe; Oh Iſrael thou haſt deſtroy'd thy ſelfe. More credit to be ſtab'd by the high way,Hoſ. 13.9. nay more credit to be hanged on a Patibulum as a Malafactor, then to murder ones ſelfe. Put him into a hole, drive a ſtake through his body, ſet a Monument of ſhame on him. (I do not know whether it be ſo among you, but) it is ſo in ſome places, when a man murders himſelfe.Wilfull diſobedience is ſoule-murder. So thou doſt murder thy ſelfe, nay more thy beſt ſelfe; thou makeſt away thy ſoule. Be vext then with thy wicked will, what a madde man am I? I will have this luſt, and I will have that paſſion, like the people, wee will have a King over us;1 Sam. 12.12. no ſayes Samuel, the Lord your God, is your King; nay but wee will have a King. So thou art wilfull, and thou wilt do thus; Oh do not do it, the Lord hath forbidden thee? Nay but I will do it. Thus thou art wilfull, and thou wilt to Hell; vex thine owne heart with this. When a wilfull Malefactor, comes afterwards to know that if hee had not beene wilfull the judge would have ſaved him, Oh how will it vex him! hee could even rend his owne haire and teare his owne fleſh, what a madde …an was I! I forſooke mine owne Clerg… ſo thou forſakeſt thine owne Clergy, …e owne mercy; they that obſerve lying vanities forſake their owne mercy, Jonah 2.8. vexe thine owne heart with it, ſay I have forſaken mine owne mercy.
Fifthly, conſider if you would but vex your owne ſoules with this ſerious conſideration, it would make you kick your luſt under foote, and cry out upon them, out upon you, get yee hence, as they cryed out upon their Idols, Eſay 30.22. get yee hence, yet yee hence; here is no entertainment for you from henceforth. I forſake mine owne mercy as long as I keepe you.