The Holy State, Book 5 · Chapter 12 – Chapter 13
CHAP. 12. The Lyer
IS one that makes a trade to tell falshoods with intent to deceive. He is either open or secret. A secret Lyer or Equivocatour is such a one as by mentall reservations and other tricks deceives him to whom he speaks, being lawfully called to deliver all the truth. And sure speech being but a coppy of the heart, it cannot be avouched for a true coppy, that hath lesse in it then the originall. Hence it often comes to passe,
When Iesuites unto us answer Nay,
They do not English speak, t'is Greek they say.
Such an Equivocatour we leave, more needing a Book then Character to describe him. The open Lyer is first, either Mischievous, condemn'd by all; secondly, Officious, unlawfull also, because doing ill for good to come of it; thirdly, Jesting, when in sport and merriment. And though some count a Jesting lie to be like the dirt of oysters, which (they say) never stains, yet is it a sinne in earnest. What Policie is it for one to wound himself to tickle others, and to stab his own soul to make the standers by sport? We come to describe the Lyer.
Maxime 1.At first he telles a lie with some shame and reluctancy. For then if he cuts off but a lap of Truths garment his heart smites him; but in processe of time he conquers his Conscience, and from quenching it there ariseth a smoak which soots and fouls his soul, so that afterwards he lyes without any regret.
2Having made one lye he is fain to make more to maintain it. For an untruth wanting a firm foundation needs many buttresses. The honour and happinesse of the *Deut. 7.14.Israelites is the misery and mischief of lyes, Not one amongst them shall be barren, but miraculously procreative to beget others.
He hath a good memory which he badly abuseth. 3Memory in a Lyer is no more then needs. For first lies are hard to be remembred, because many, whereas truth is but one: secondly, because a lie cursorily told takes little footing and settled fastnesse in the tellers memory, but prints it self deeper in the hearers, who take the greater notice because of the improbability and deformity thereof; and one will remember the sight of a monster longer then the sight of an handsome body. Hence comes it to passe that when the Lyer hath forgotten himself, his Auditours put him in mind of the lye, and take him therein.
Sometimes though his memory cannot help him from being arrested for lying, 4his wit rescues him: which needs a long reach to bring all ends presently and probably together, gluing the splinters of his tales so cunningly that the cracks cannot be perceived. Thus a relique-monger bragg'd he could shew a feather of the dove at Christs baptisme; but being to shew it to the people, a wag had stollen away the feather and put a coal in the room of it. Well, quoth he to the Spectatours, I cannot be so good as my word for the present; but here is one of the coals *Chamnitius in exam. cont. Trident. pa…t. 4. p. 12.that broil'd S. Laurence, and that's worth the seeing.
Being challenged for telling a lye no man is more furiously angry. 5Then he draws his sword and threatens, because he thinks that an offer of revenge, to shew himself moved at the accusation, doth in some sort discharge him of the imputation; as if the condemning of the sinne in appearance acquitted him in effect: or else because he that is call'd a Lyer to his face, is also call'd a Coward in the same breath if he swallows it; and the party charged doth conceive that if he vindicates his valour, his truth will be given him into the bargain.
At last he believes his own lies to be true. 6He hath told them over and over so often, that prescription makes a right, and he verily believes that at the first he gathered the story out of some authenticall Authour, which onelyonly grew in his own brain.
7No man else believes him when he speaks the truth. How much gold soever he hath in his chest, his word is but brasse, and passeth for nothing: yea he is dumb in effect, for it is all one whether one cannot speak, or cannot be believed.
To conclude: Some of the west Indians to expiate their sinne of lying use to let themselves bloud in their tongues, and to offer the bloud to their idols: A good cure for the squinancie, but no satisfaction for lying. Gods word hath taught us better, What profit is there in my bloud? The true repentance of the party wash'd in the bloud of Christ can onelyonly obtain pardon for this sinne.
CHAP. 13. The common Barreter.
A Barreter is an horseleach that onelyonly sucks the corrupted bloud of the Law. He trades onelyonly in tricks and quirks: His highway is in by-paths, and he loveth a cavill better then an argument, an evasion then an answer. There be two kinds of them: either such as fight themselves, or are trumpeters in a battel to set on others. The former is a profest dueller in the Law that will challenge any, and in all suite-combats be either principall or second.
Maxime 1References & compositions he hates as bad as an hangman hates a pardon. Had he been a Scholar, he would have maintained all paradoxes; if a Chirurgion, he would never have cured a wound but alwayes kept it raw; if a Souldier, he would have been excellent at a siege, nothing but ejectio firma would out him.
2He is half starv'd in the lent of a long vacation for want of imployment; save onelyonly that then he brews work to broach in Term-time. I find one so much delighted in Law-sport, that when *Stephens Apol. for Herodotus.Lewis the King of France offered to ease him of a number of suits, he earnestly besought his Highnesse to leave him some twenty or thirty behind, wherewith he might merrily passe away the time.
He hath this property of an honest man, 3that his word is as good as his band; for he will pick the lock of the strongest conveiance, or creep out at the lattice of a word. Wherefore he counts to enter common with others as good as his own severall; for he will so vex his partners, that they had rather forgoe their right, then undergoe a suit with him. As for the trumpeter Barretour,
He falls in with all his neighbours that fall out, 4and spurres them on to go to law. A Gentleman, who in a duell was rather scratcht then wounded, sent for a Chirurgion, who having opened the wound, charged his man with all speed to fetch such a salve from such a place in his study. Why (said the Gentleman) is the hurt so dangerous? Oh yes (answered the Chirurgion) if he returns not in post-hast the wound will cure it self, and so I shall lose my fee. Thus the Barretour posts to the houses of his neighbours, lest the sparks of their small discords should go out before he brings them fuell, and so he be broken by their making up. Surely he loves not to have the bells rung in a peal, but he likes it rather when they are jangled backward, himself having kindled the fire of dissension amongst his neighbours.
He lives till his clothes have as many rents as himself hath made dissensions. 5I wonder any should be of this trade, when none ever thrived on't, paying dear rates for their counsells: for bringing many crack'd titles, they are fain to fill up their gaping chinks with the more gold.
But I have done with this wrangling companion, half afraid to meddle with him any longer lest he should commence a suit against me for describing him.
The Reader may easily perceive how this Book of the Profane State would swell to a great proportion, should we therein character all the kinds of vicious persons which stand in opposition to those which are good. But this pains may well be spared, seeing that rectum est index sui & obliqui; and the lustre of the good formerly described will sufficiently discover the enormity of those which are otherwise. We will therefore instance in three principall offenders, and so conclude.