The Holy State, Book 5 · Chapter 18
CHAP. 18. The life of ANDRONICUS.
ANdronicus Comnenus, *The summe of this chapter is taken out of Nicetas Choniates his Annalls lib. 1. & 2. of Andronic. Comnenus.descended of the Grecian Emperiall bloud, was a Prince most vicious in his life, and perfidious in his dealing, and for his severall offenses, after long banishment, was at length by Emmanuel the Grecian Emperour, his kinsman, confined to a private city in Paphlagonia.
Here Andronicus hugg'd himself in his privacie, though all that time he did but levell, and take aim, intending at last to shoot at the Empire, though for a while he lay very still, and with the Hedgehog seemingly dead, he rounded himself up in his own prickles without any motion.
Leave we him there, and come to behold the face of the Grecian Empire, which presents us with all the Symptomes of a dying State. Emmanuell being dead Alexius his sonne succeeds him, a Minor of twelve years of age, wanting wit to guide himself, and his friends care to govern him. Xena the Mother-Empresse wholly given to her pleasures, with her minion Alexius Protosebastus, who ruled all in the State. The Nobility factious, snatching what they could get, and counting violent possession the best and onelyonly title. The people of Constantinople valiant onelyonly to make mutinies on every occasion, in confused multitudes, without any Martiall discipline; as who could expect that a rolling snow-ball should have any curious fashion?
Andronicus, hearing of these misdemeanours, found that opportunity courted him to procure the Empire for himself. Wherefore he remonstrates to the whole world the great grief he conceived at these disorders: For though patience had made him past feeling of any private injuries offered to himself, yet he must be stark dead indeed, if he were not moved with these generall miseries of the Empire. He being a Prince of the bloud could not without grief behold how Xena the Empresse, and Protosebastus had conspired to abuse the tender age of young Alexius, so to draw all dominion to themselves; and who kowing that their strength consisted in the young Emperours weaknesse, intended so to breed him, that in point of judgement he should never be of age, and onelyonly able in pleasures. Whereupon Andronicus resolved to free his young kinsman, and the Empire from this thraldome. Treason is so uggly in her self, that every one that sees it will cast stones at it, which makes her seldome appear but with a borrowed face, for the good of the Commonwealth; but especially when ambition hath caught hold on pretended religion, how fast will it climbe?
Andronicus with an army of Paphlagonians marched to Constantinople, in which city he had a great party on his side, Maria Cesarissa, half sister to the Emperour, with her husband, and many other good Patriots, which bemoaned the distempers in the State, applying themselves to Andronicus for help, counting a bad physician better then none at all. Besides, there were in the city many turbulent spirits, desirous of alterations, as profitable unto them, counting themselves the petty-Landlords of the times, to whom rich fines and herriots would accrue upon every exchange, and all those took part with Andronicus.
Many more did Andronicus winne to his party by his cunning behaviour, for he could speak both eloquently and religiously. He would ordinarily talk Scripture-language (often fouly misapplyed) as if his memory were a Concordance of the whole Bible, but especially of S. Pauls Epistles, which he had by heart. Besides, no man had better command of rain and sunshine in his face, to smile and weep at pleasure: his tears flowed at will, which caught the affections of many, though others, better acquainted with his tricks, no more pitied his weeping, then they bemoaned the moist dropping of stone walls against rainy weather.
Small resistance was made against him, onelyonly some seemed to fight against him in complement, so that with ease he made himself master of Constantinople, and not long after he caused Xena the Empresse to be choked, the eyes of whose Favourite Protosebastus he had formerly bored out.
The next care of Andronicus was to cut off all those steps by which he had ascended to this height, lest leaving those stairs still standing, others also might climbe up the same way. All those friends who had assisted him in this his designe, he rewarded with death: yea though at first his cruelty might seem to shoot at a mark, in taking of some prime men, for whose death some reason might be rendred, his malice afterwards shot at rovers, as if he had a quarrell at mankind, killing all he came near. When any party accused recriminated the accuser, the sword of Andronicus cut on both sides; the accuser and accused were sent the same way, and what cup one began, the other was made to pledge. Those Sycophants which ingratiated themselves with him, escaped no better then others, it being equally dangerous to please and displease him. Men met every where with his cruelty, but no where with the reasons thereof. But who can expect other reasons of Tyrants actions, but that they are Tyrants actions?
But his dealing with young Alexius the Emperour (whose death was methodically contrived with some politick pauses) deserves observation. At first entrance into the city, Andronicus observed his awfull distance towards the Emperour, teaching others that the minority of Princes ought not to lessen their Subjects reverence unto them. Afterwards, he emboldned himself to make his nearer approches, chalenging in young Alexius that interest which carefull tutours claim in those whose protection they tender. Hence he proceeded to set a guard about him, not to defend but watch him, and to guard him from his friends; who, though allowed to follow his sports in hunting, was indeed made sport of himself, and the hunter kept in a net. Then Andronicus was forced by his friends importunity (whom he himself had secretly importun'd) to be elected joynt-Emperour with Alexius, and with much unwillingnesse this great dissembler (who could have taught Tiberius craft, and Nero cruelty) was driven up the Emperiall throne. Next day in all publick Edicts the name of Andronicus was set before Alexius, it seeming preposterous that a child should be preferred before so sage and grave a man.
Hitherto the life of Alexius was profitable to Andronicus, but now his death would be more behooffull. Wherefore Andronicus counting it cumbersome now any longer to wear a cloke in the sunshine and heat of his happinesse, abandoned all uselesse dissembling, and appear'd like himself. The next news we heare of Alexius, is that his neck is broken with a bowstring by command from Andronicus;1181 his body was spurn'd and abus'd, a hole bored in his ear with a spit, his head cut off, and shamefully dealt with, his body cast into the sea, with many more cruell outrages, as much against policie as piety, and not onelyonly needlesse, but scandalous to Andronicus. Thus Tyrants, having once given the rains to their cruelty, are not able to stop themselves.
But this innocent bloud cryed to God for revenge, and obtained it. Next yeare Isaacius Angelus was chosen Emperour by the people, and Andronicus chased out of the city and pursued after. Andronicus got into a ship, and had conveyed himself away, had not the winds and the waves (as if knowing him though disguis'd) refused to be accessary to his escape, and beaten him back again, till he was taken by his pursuers. Being carried into the presence of Isaacius the new Emperour, he there was beaten, spurn'd, kick'd on, and had an arm cut off, and an eye bored out. But all this was mercy, in respect of what he next day suffered by the rascall multitude, being carried on a scabb'd Camell thorow Constantinople, happy he that could do most unhappinesse unto him: all sorts of people sought to mischief him, throwing that upon him, in comparison whereof that which runneth in the channell may be counted rosewater. Thus orphanes thought to revenge the death of their fathers, widows of their husbands: one ran him thorow with a spit, another threw scalding water in his face. At last he could hardly die, being hang'd up by the feet betwixt two pillars after a thousand abuses offer'd unto him.
It may seem miraculous how his body could make room for all their blows, or that he so old a man could find so many lives for their cruelty, were it not that passing with some speed thorow the city, few had their full blows at him; and they were somewhat mannerly in their revenge, in that they would not take all to themselves, but leave some to others. And indeed after long throwing of dirt upon him, their darts became his shield, being so covered over with the filth, that the mire kept him from the mire.
All which time he brake not out into any impatience, but still cryed, Lord have mercy upon me, and, Why break you a bruised reed? and bore all with an invincible quietnesse of mind. Surely God measured unto him a time of repentance by a large houreglasse; and haply (it were tyranny to think otherwise of the worst Tyrant) the tempest of the peoples fury might drive his soul to the best *See bow charitably Drexelius is opinion'd of him in his book de Aeternitate, Consider. 5. Sect. 3.shelter, the mercy of the God of heaven. It is a good signe when one hath his hell in this world, and true repentance is never too late. As for those that hold repentance on the death-bed unprofitable, by this their tenet they would make heaven very empty, and yet never a whit the more room therein for the maintainers of so uncharitable an opinion.
Andronicus reigned two years, having a beautifull aspect, and majestick stature, almost ten foot high, of a strong constitution, advantaged by the temperatenesse of his diet. In all his life time he took but one antidote, and never purged but once, and then the Physick found no obnoxious humour to work upon, so healthfull was his temper. His death happened Anno Dom. 1183.