The History of the Worthies of England, Part 2 · County 20 · Section 7
Proverbs.
A KENTISH Yeoman]
It passeth for a plain Man of a plentiful estate, Yeomen in this County, bearing away the Bell for wealth from all of their ranck in England.
Yeomen contracted for Yemen-mein are so called, saith a great*Verstegan in his restoring of decayed Intelligence. Antiquary from Gemein, (G in the beginning is usually turned into Y as Gate into Yate) which signifieth Common in old Dutch, so that Yeoman is a Commoner, one undignified with any title of Gentility. A condition of People almost peculiar to England, seeing in France, Italy and Spain, (like a lame Dye which hath no points betwixt Duce and Cinque) no medium between Gentlemen and Pesants. Whereas amongst us the Yeomen, Ingenui, or Legales Homines, are in effect the Basis of all the Nation, formerly most mounting the subsidy Book in Peace with their purses, and the Muster Roll in war with their Persons. Kent as we have said affordeth the richest in this kind whence the Rime.
A Knight of CALES, and a Gentle-man of WALES, and a Laird of the North Countree.
A Yeoman of KENT with his yearly Rent will buy them out all Three.
CALES Knights were made in that voyage by Robert Earle of Essex anno Dom. 1596 to the number os sixty, whereof (though many of great birth and estate) some were of low fortunes, and therefore Queen Elizabeth was halfe offended with the Earle for making Knighthood so common. Of the numerousness of Welsh Gentlemen we shall have cause to speak hereafter. Northern Lairds are such who in Scotland hold Lands in chief of the King, whereof some have no great Revenue, so that a Kentish Yeoman (by the help of an Hyperbole) may countervail, &c.
Yet such Yeomen refuse to have the Title of Master put upon them, contenting themselves without any addition of Gentility, and this mindeth me of a Passage in my memory. One immoderately boasted, that there was not one of his name in all England, but that he was a Gentleman, to whom one in the company retnrned, I am sorry, Sir, you have never a good man of your name.
Sure I am in Kent there is many a hospital Yeoman of great ability, who though no Gentleman by Descent and Title, is one by his Means and state, let me also adde by his courteous carriage, though constantly called but Goodman, to which Name he desireth to answer in all respects.
A Man of KENT.]
This may relate either to the Liberty, or to the courage of this County-men. Liberty, the tenure of Villanage (so frequent elsewhere) being here utterly unknown, and the bodies of all Kentish persons being of free condition. In so much that it is holden*Fitz. Herbert 15. in Title of Villanage. sufficient for one to avoid the Objection of bondage, to say that his Father was born in Kent. Now seeing servi non sunt viri quia non sui sur is, A bond-man is no man, because not his own man; the Kentish for their Freedome have atchieved to themselves the name of Men.
Others refer it to their courage, which from the time of King Canutus hath purchased unto them the precedency of marching in our English Armies to lead the Van.
| JOANNES Sarisbur. | De egregiae Thus cited, for hitherto I have not read the Original by Mr. Selden in his Notes on Poliolbion, page 303. Curial. 6▪ cap. 16. |
| Ob egregiae virtutis meritum, quod potenter & patenter exercuit, Cantia nostra primae Cohortis honorem, & primos congressus Hostium, usque in omnibus diem in omnibus praeliis obtinet. | For the de…ert of their worthy valour, which they so powerfully and publickly expressed. Our Kent obtaineth even unto this day the honor of the first Regiment, and first assaulting the Enemy in all Battails. |
Our Authour lived in the Reign of Henry the Second, and whether Kentish-men retain this Priviledge unto this day (wherein many things are turned upside-down, and then no wonder it also forward and backward) is to me unknown.
Neither in KENT nor Christendome.]
This seems a very insolent expression, and as unequal a division. Surely the first Anthour thereof had small skill in even distribution to measure an Inch against an Ell; yea to weigh a grain against a pound. But know Reader, that this home-Proverb is calculated onelyonly for the elevation of our own Country, and ought to be restrained to English-Christendome, whereof Kent was first converted to the Faith. So then Kent and Christendome, (parallel to Rome and Italy) is as much as the First cut, and all the Loafe besides. I know there passes a report, that Henry the fourth King of France, mustering his Souldiers at the siege of a City, found more Kentish-men therein, than Forraigners of all Christendome beside, which (being but seventy years since) is by some made the Original of this Proverb, which was more ancient in use; and therefore I adhere to the former Interpretation, alwayes provided,
—Si quid novisti rectius istis,
Candidus imperti; Si non; his utere mecum.
If thou know'st better, it to me impart;
If not, use these of mine with all my heart.
For mine own part I write nothing but animo revocandi, ready to retract it when better evidence shall be brought unto me. Nor will I oppose such who understand it for Periphrasis of NO-WHERE; Kent being the best place of England, Christendome of the World.
KENTISH Long-TAILES.]
Let me premise, that those are much mistaken, who first found this Proverb on a Miracle of Austin the Monk, which is thus reported. It happened in an English Village where Saint Austin was preaching, that the Pagans therein did beat and abuse both him and his associats, opprobriously tying Fish-tails to their back-side. In revenge whereof an impudent Author relateth, Reader, you and I must blush for him, who hath not the modesty to blush for himselfe) how such Appendants grew to the hind-parts of all that *Hierome… Porter in the Flowers of the lives of the Saints, p. 515.Generation. I say they are much mistaken, for the Scaene of this Lying Wonder was not laied in any Part of Kent, but pretended many miles off, nigh Cerne in Dorsetshire.
To come closer to the sence of this Proverb, I conceive it first of outlandish extraction, and cast by forraigners as a note of disgrace on all the English, though it chanceth to stick only on the Kentish at this Day. For when there happened in Palestine a difference betwixt Robert brother of Saint Lewis King of France and our William Longspee Earle of Salisbury, heare how the French-man insulted over our nation.
MATTHEW PARIS. Anno Dom. 1250. pag. 790.
| O timidorum caudatorū formidolositas! quàm beatus, quàm mundus praesens foret exercitus, si à caudis purgaretur & caudatis. | O the cowardliness of these fearful Longtails! How happie, how cleane would this our arm ie be, were it but purged from tails and Long-tailes. |
That the English were nicked by this speech appears by the reply of the Earle of Salisbury following still the metaphor; The son of my father shall presse thither to day, whither you shall not dare to approach his horse taile.
Some will have the English so called from wearing a pouch or poake,) a bag to carry their baggage in) behind their backs, whilest probably the proud Monsieurs had their Lacquies for that purpose. In proof whereof they produce ancient pictures of the English Drapery and Armory, wherein such conveyances doe appear. If so, it was neither sin nor shame for the common sort of people to carry their own necessaries, and it matters not much whether the pocket be made on either side, or wholly behinde.
If any demand how this nick-name (cut off from the rest of England) continues still entaild on Kent? The best conjecture is, because that county lieth nearest to France, and the French are beheld as the firstfounders of this aspersion. But if any will have the Kentish so called from drawing and dragging boughs of trees behind them, which afterwards they advanced above their heads and so partly cozened partly threatned King William the Conqueror to continue their ancient customes, I say, if any will impute it to this original, I will not oppose.
KENTISH Gavel▪ Kind]
It is a custome in this County, whereby the lands are divided equally among all the sons, and in default of them, amongst the daughters; that is, Give all kind, kind signifying a Child in the low Dutch. This practice, as it appeares in Tacitus, was derived to our Saxons from the ancient Germans
Teutonibus priscis patrios succedit in agros
Mascula stirps omnis, ne foret ulla potens.
'Mongst the old Teuch lest one o'retop his breed,
To his Sire's land doth every son succeed.
It appeareth that in the eighteenth year of King Henry the sixth, there were not above fourty persons in Kent, but all their land was held in this tenure. But on the petition of divers Gentlemen this custome was altered by Act of Parliament in the 31. of King Henry the eighth, and Kentish-lands for the most part reduced to an uniformitie with the rest in England.
DOVER-COURT, All speakers and no hearers]
There is a Village in Essex not far from Harwich called Dover-Court formerly famous for a Rood burnt in the Reign of King Henry the Eighth. But I take it here to be taken for some Tumultuous Court kept at Dover, the Consluence of many Blustering Sea-men, who are not easily ordered into awful attention. The Proverb is applyed to such irregular conferences, wherein the People are all Tongue and no Eares, parallel to the Latine Proverb, Cyclopum Respublica, being thus charactered that therein foreign.
The Father to the Bough]
The Son to the Plough.]
That is, though the Father be executed for his Offence the Son shall neverthelesse succeed to his Inheritance.
In this County if a *W. Lambert his perambulation of Kent. page 550. and 551.Tenant in Fee-simple of Lands in Gavel-kind commit Felony, and suffer the judgement of Death therefore, the Prince shall have all his Chattels for a forfeiture. But as touching the Land, he shall neither have the Escheat of it, though it be immediately holden of himself, nor the Day, year and Wast, if it be holden of any other; for in that case the Heir, notwithstanding the offence of his Ancestor, shall enter immediately and enjoy the lands after the same Customes and services by which they were holden before, In assurance whereof the former Proverb is become Currant in this County. But this Rule holdeth in case of Felony and of Murther onelyonly, and not in case of Treason, nor (peradventure) in Piracy, and other Felonies made by Statutes of later times, because the custome cannot take hold of that which then was not in being. It holdeth moreover, in case where the offender is justiced by Order of Law, and not where he withdraws himself after the fault cōmitted, and will not abide his lawful trial.
TENTERDENS Steeple is the Cause of the Breac… in Goodwyn Sands.]
It is used Commonly in derision of such, who being demanded to render a reason of some inportant Accident assign Non causam pro causa, or a Ridiculous and improbable cause thereof, and hereon a story depends.
When the Vicinage in Kent met to consult about the Inundation of Goodwyn sands and what might be the Cause thereof, an Old man imputed it to the building of Tenterden Steeple in this County; for those sands (said he) were firme Lands before that steeple was built which ever since were overflown with Sea-water. Hereupon all heartily laughed at his unlogical Reason, making that the effect in Nature which was only the consequent in time; not flowing from but following after the building of that steeple.
But One story is good till another is heard. Though this be all whereon this Proverb is G. Sandys on on his notes of the 13. of Ovids Metamorph. p. 282.generally grounded I met since with a * supplement thereunto. It is this. Time out of mind mony was constantly collected out of this County to fence the East bancks thereof against the eruption of the Seas. And such Sums were deposited in the hands of the Bishop of Rochester. But because the Sea had been very quiet for many years, without any encroachings; The Bishop commuted that money to the building of a Steeple and endowing of a Church in Tenterden. By this diversion of the Collection for the maintenance of the Banks, the Sea afterwards brake in upon Goodwyn Sands. And now the old man had told a rational tale, had he found but the due favour to finish it. And thus sometimes, that is causelesly accounted ignorance in the speaker which is nothing but impatience in the Auditors unwilling to attend the end of the discourse.
A Jack of Dover]
I find the first mention of this Proverb in our English Ennius, Chaucer, in his Proeme to the Cook.
And many a Jack of Dover he had sold
Which had been two times hot and two times cold.
This is no Fallacy but good Policy in an houshould, to lengthen out the Provision thereof, and though lesse toothsome may be wholsome enough: But what is no false Logick in a Family is false Ethicks in an Inn, or Cooks-shop, to make the abused Guest to pay after the rate of New and Fresh for meat at the second and third hand.
Parallel to this is the Latine Proverb crambe bis cocta, crambe being a kind of Colewort, which (with vinegar) being raw is good, boiled better, twice boiled noysome to the Palat and nauceous to the stomach.
Both Proverbs are appliable to such who grate the ears of their Auditors with ungratefull Tautologies, of what is worthlesse in it selse, tolerable as once uttered in the notion of Novelty; but abominable if repeated for the tediousnesse thereof.