The Cause and Cure of a Wounded Conscience, Dialogue 9 – Dialogue 11
IX. Dialogue. Answers to the objections of a wounded Conscience drawne from the slightnesse of his Repentance.
Tim.
I Beleeve my sinnes are pardonable in themselves, but alas my stony Heart is such, that it cannot relent and repent, and therefore no hope of my Salvation.
Phil.
Wouldest thou sincerely repent? thou dost repent. The women that came to embalme*Mark 16. 3. Christ, did carefully forecast with themselves, Who shall role away the stone from the doore of the Sepulcher? Alas their fraile, faint, feeble Arms were unable to remove such a weight. But what followeth? And when duplicate page duplicate page they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away, for it was very great. In like manner, when a soule is truly troubled about the massie mighty burden of his stony heart interposed, hindring him from comming to Christ; I say when he is seriously and sincerely solicitous about that impediment, such desiring is a doing, such wishing is a working. Doe thou but take care it may be removed, and God will take order it shall be removed.
Tim.
But Sir I cannot weep for my sinnes; My eyes are like the pit wherein Joseph was put, there is no water in them, I cannot squeeze one teare out of them.
Phil.
Before I come to answer your objection, I must premise a profitable observation. I have taken notice of a strange opposition betwixt the tongues and eyes of such as have troubled Consciences. Their tongues some have known (and I have heard) complaine that they cannot weepe for their sinnes, when at that instant their eyes have plentifully shed store of teares: not that they speake out of dissimulation, but distraction. So somtimes have I smiled at the simplicity of a Child, who being amased, and demanded whether or no he could speake? hath answered, No. If in like manner at the sight of such a contradiction betwixt the words and deeds of one in the agony of a wounded Conscience, we should chance to smile, knew us not to jeere, but joy, perceiving the party in a better condition, then he conceiveth himselfe.
Tim.
This your observation may be comfortable to others, but is impertinent to me. For as I told you I I have by nature such dry eyes that they will afford no moisture to bemoan my sinnes.
Phil.
Then it is a naturall defect, and no morall default, so by consequence a suffering and no sinne, which God will punish. God doth not expect the cock should runne water, where he put none into the Cisterne. Know also, their hearts may be fountaines whose eyes are flints, and may inwardly bleed, who doe not outwardly weep. Besides *Isa. 61. 3:Christ was sent to preach Comfort, not to such only as weep, but mourne in Zion. Yea if thou canst squeeze out no liquor, offer to God the empty bottles; instead of tears, tender and present thy eyes unto him. And though thou beest water-bound, be not wind-bound also, sigh, where thou canst not sob, and let thy Lungs doe what thy eyes cannot performe.
Tim.
You say something, though I cannot weep, in case I could soundly sorrow for my sinnes. But alas, for temporall losses and crosses, I am like R…chell, …amenting for her children, and would not be comforted. But my sorrow for my sins is so small, that it appeares none at all in proportion.
Phil.
In the best Saints of God, their sorrow for their sinnes being measured with the sorrow for their sufferings, in one respect, will fall short of it, in another must equall it, and in a third respect doth exceed and goe beyond it. Sorrow for sins falleth short of sorrow for sufferings, in loud lamenting or violent uttering it selfe in outward expressions thereof; as in roaring, wringing the hands, rending their haire, and the like. Secondly, both sorrowes are equall in their truth and sincerity, both farre from hypocrisie, free from dissimulation, reall, hearty, cordiall, uncounterfeited. Lastly, sorrow for sinne exceeds sorrow for suffering, in the continuance and durablenesse thereof: the other like a land-flood, quickly come, quickly gone; this is a continuall dropping or running river, keeping a constant stream. My sins, saith David, are ever before me; so also is the sorrow for sinne in the soule of a child of God, morning, evening, day, night, when sicke, when sound, feasting, fasting, at home, abroad, ever within him: This griefe beginneth at his conversion, continueth all his life, endeth only at his death.
Tim.
Proceed I pray in this comfortable point.
Phil.
It may still be made plainer by comparing two diseases together, the tooth-ache and consumption. Such as are troubled with the former, shreek and cry out, troublesome to themselves, and others, in the same and next roofe; and no wonder, the mouth it selfe being plaintiffe, if setting forth its owne grievances to the full. Yet the tooth-ache is knowne to be no mortall maladie, having kept some from their beds, seldome sent them to their graves; hindred the sleep of many, hastned the death of few. On the other side, he that hath an incurable consumption saith little, cryes lesse, but grieves most of all. Alas, he must be a good husband of the little breath left in his broken lungs, not to spend it in fighing, but in living, he makes no noise, is quiet, and silent; yea none will say, but that his inward griefe is greater then the former.
Tim.
How apply you this Comparison to my objection?
Phil.
In corporall calamities, thou complainest more, like him in the tooch-ache, but thy sorrow for thy sinne, like a Consumption, which lyes at thy heart, hath more solid heavinesse therein. Thou dost take in more griefe for thy sinnes, though thou mayest take on more grievously for thy sufferings.
Tim.
This were something if my sorrow for sinne were sincere, but alas, I am but a hypocri…e. There is *Isa. 14. 23mention in the Proph…t of Gods besome of destruction; now the trust of a hypocrite, Job 8. 14. is called a Spiders web, here is my case, when Gods besome meets with the cobwebs of my hypocri…e, I shall be swept into hel-fire.
Phil.
I answer, first in generall: I am glad to heare this objection come from thee, for selfe-suspition of hypocrisie, is a hopefull symptome of sincerity. It is a David that cryes out, As for me I am poore and needy; but luke-warme Laodicea that braggeth, I am rich and want nothing.
Tim.
Answer I pray the objection in particular.
Phil.
Presently, when I have premised the great difference, betwixt a mans being a Hypocrite, and having some hypocrisie in him. Wicked men are like the Apples of *Solinus Polyhistor in Judea.Sodome, seemingly faire, but nothing but ashes within, the best of Gods Servants, like sound Apples, lying in a dusty loft, (living in a wicked world) gathering much dust about them, so that they must be rubb'd or pared, before they can be eaten. Such notwithstanding are sincere, and by the following marks may examine themselves.
Tim.
But some now adayes are utter enemies to all markes of sincerity, counting it needlesse for Preachers to propound, or people to apply them.
Phil.
I know as much; but it is the worst signe, when men in this nature hate all signes: But no wonder if the foundred horse, cannot abide the Smiths pincers.
Tim.
Proceed I pray in your signes of sincerity.
Phil.
Art thou carefull to order thy very thoughts, because the infinite searcher of the heart doth behold them? Dost thou freely and fully confesse thy sinnes to God, spreading them open in his presence, without any desire or endeavour to deny, dissemble, defend, excuse, or extenuate them? Dost thou delight in an universall obedience to all Gods Lawes, not thinking with the superstitious Jewes, by over-keeping the fourth Commandement, to make reparation to God for breaking all the rest? Dost thou love their persons and preaching best, who most clearly discover thine owne faults and corruptions unto thee? Dost thou strive against thy vindicative nature, not only to forgive those who have offended thee, but also to wait an occasion with humility to fasten a fitting favour upon them? Dost thou love grace and goodnesse even in those, who differ from thee in point of opinion, and Civil controversies? Canst thou be sorrowfull for the sinnes of others, no whit relating unto thee, meerly because the Glory of a good God, suffers by their profanenesse?
Tim.
Why doe you make these to be the signes of sincerity?
Phil.
Because there are but two principles, which act in mens hearts, namely, nature and grace; or, as Christ distinguisheth them, Flesh, and Bloud, and our Father which is Heaven. Now seeing these actions, by us propounded, are either against or above nature, it doth necessarily follow, that where they are found, they flow from saving grace. For what is higher then the roofe, and very Pinnacle, as I may say, of nature, cannot belower then the bottome and beginning of grace.
Tim.
Per…hance on serious search, I may make hard shift, to finde some one or two of these signes, but not all of them in my heart.
Phil.
As I will not bow to flatter any, so I will fall down as farre as truth will give me leave, to reach comfort to the humble, to whom it is due. Know to thy further consolation, that where some of these signes truly are, there are more, yea all of them, though not so visible and conspicuous, but in a dimmer and darker degree. When we behold Violets, and Prim-Roses, fairely to flourish, we conclude the dead of the winter is past, though, as yet, no Roses, or July-flowers appeare, which, long after, lye hid in their leaves, or lurke in their rootes; but in due time will discover themselves. If some of these signes be above ground in thy sight, others are under ground in thy heart, and though the former started first, the other will follow in order: It being plaine that thou art passed from death unto life, by this hopefull and happy spring of some signes in thy heart.
X. Dialogue. Answers to the objection of a wounded Conscience, drawne from the feeblenesse of his faith.
Tim.
BUt faith is that which must apply Christ unto us, whilest (alas!) the hand of my faith hath not only the shaking, but the dead Palsy; it can neither hold nor feele any thing.
Phil.
If thou canst not hold God, doe but touch him and he shall hold thee, and put feeling into thee. Saint Paul saith, *Phil. 3. 1…If that I may apprehend that, for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. It is not Pauls apprehending of Christ, but Christ apprehending of Paul, doth the deed.
Tim.
But I am sure my faith is not sound, because it is not attended with assurance of salvation. For I doubt (not to say despaire) thereof. Whereas Divines hold, that the Essence of saving faith consists in a certainty to be saved.
Phil.
Such deliver both a false, and dangerous doctrine; as the carelesse mother *1 Kings 3 19.killed her little infant, for she over-laid it: So this opinion would presse many weak faiths to death, by laying a greater weight upon them then they can bear, or God doth impose; whereas to be assured of salvation, is not a part of every true faith, but onelyonly an effect of some strong faiths, and that also not alwayes, but at some times.
Tim.
Is not certainty of salvation a part of every true faith?
Phil.
No verily, much lesse is it the life and formality of faith, which consisteth onelyonly in a recumbency on God in Christ, with Jobs resolution, *Jo… 13. 15Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him. Such an adherence, without an assurance, is sufficient by Gods mercy to save thy soule. Those that say that none have a sincere faith without a certainty of salvation, may with as much truth maintaine, that none are the Kings loyall Subjects, but such as are his Favourites.
Tim.
Is then assurance of salvation a peculiar personall favour, indulged by God, onelyonly to some particular persons?
Phil.
Yes verily: Though the salvation of all Gods servants be sure in it selfe, yet is onelyonly assured to the apprehensions of some select people, and that at some times: For it is too fine fare for the best man to feed on every day.
Tim.
May they that have this assurance, afterwards lose it?
Phil.
Undoubtedly they may: God first is gracious to give it them, they for a time carefull to keep it, then negligently lose it, then sorrowfully seeke it. God again is bountifull to restore it, they happy to recover it, for a while diligent to retaine it, then againe foolish to forfeit it, and so the same changes in ones life time often, over, and over againe.
Tim.
But some will say, If I may be infallibly saved without this Assurance, I will never endeavour to attaine it.
Phil.
I would have covered my flowers, if I had suspected such spiders would have suckt them. One may goe to heaven without this Assurance, as certainly, but not so cheerfully, and therefore prudence to obtaine our owne comfort, & piety to obey Gods Command, obligeth us all to give diligence to make our calling and election sure, both in it selfe, and in our apprehension.
XI. Dialogue. God alone can satisfie all objections of a wounded Conscience.
Tim.
BUt, Sir, these your Answers are no whit satisfactorie unto me.
Phil.
An Answer may be satisfactorie to the Objection, both in it selfe, and in the judgement of all unprejudiced Hearers, and yet not satisfactorie to the Objecter, and that in two cases: First, when he is poss…ssed with the spirit of peevishnesse and perversnesse. It is lost labour to seeke to feed and fill those, who have a greedy Horseleach of cavilling in their heart, crying Give, give.
Tim.
What is the second case?
Phil.
When the bitternesse of his soule is so great and grievous, that he is like the *Exo. 6. 9.Israelites in Egypt, which hearkned not to Moses, for anguish of spirit, and for cruel Bondage. Now as those who have meat before them, and will not eate, deserve to starve without pitty: so such are much to be bemoaned, who through some impediment in their mouth, throat, or stomach, cannot chaw, swallow or digest comfort presented unto them.
Tim.
Such is my condition, what then is to be done unto me?
Phil.
I must change my precepts to thee into prayers for thee, that …od would *Psal. 90. 14.Satisfie thee early with his mercy, that thou mayest rejoyce. Ministers may endeavour it in vaine, whilest they quell one scruple, they start another, whilst they fill one corner of a wounded Conscience with comfort, another is emptie. Only God can so satisfie the soule, that each chink and cranny therein, shall be filled with spirituall joy.
Tim.
What is the difference betwixt Gods, and mans speaking Peace to a troubled spirit?
Phil.
Man can neither make him to whom he speakes, to heare what he saith, or beleeve what he heares. God speakes with authority, and doth both. His words give hearing to the deafe, and Faith to the Infidell. When, not the Mother of Christ, but Christ himselfe, shall salute a sicke soule with Peace be unto thee, it will leap for joy, as John the babe sprang, though imprisoned in the darke womb of his Mother. Thus the offender is not comforted, though many of the spectatours, and under-officers tell him he shall be pardoned, untill he heares the same from the mouth of the Judge himselfe who hath power and place to forgive him; and then his heart reviveth with comfort.
Tim.
God send me such comfort: meane time, I am thankfull unto you for the answers you have given me.
Phil.
All that I wil adde is this. The Lacedemonians had a law, that if a bad man, or one disesteemed of the people, chanced to give good counsell, he was to stand by, and another, against whose person the people had no prejudice, was to speake over the same words, which the former had uttered. I am most sensible to my selfe of my owne badnesse, and how justly I am subject to exception. Only my prayer shall be, that whilst I stand by, and am …ilent, Gods Spirit which is free from any fault, and full of all perfection, would be pleased to repeat in thy heart, the selfe-same answers I have given to your objections: And then what was weak, shallow and unsatisfying, as it came from my mouth, shall and will be full, powerfull, and satisfactorie, as re-inforced in thee, by Gods Spirit.