The Appeal of Injured Innocence, Part 1 · Chapter 13
CHAP. XIII. What Good the Animadvertor might, but would not doe; and, what Good, by Gods goodness he Herein hath done unto the Author.
WHen the Animadvertor had perused my Book, marking some (but making moe) faults therein, it was in his Power to have done me a Pleasure, the greatest he could give, or I receive, viz. not to paradigmatize me, but by Letter in an amicable way to impart my Mistakes unto me, that I might amend them in my next Edition. Say not, He owed me no such thing, who would have beheld it not as a Debt paid unto, but Alms bestowed upon me.
I was not wholly without hope hereof, having found such favour from some worthy Friends. Had the Animadvertor done the like, How had he obliged me? As the Society of Peter-house do preserve the Pictures of their Benefactors in their Parlour, so would I have erected unto him a Monument of Gratitude in my Heart, besides my publick acknowledgement of the courtesie.
But it seems He intended not my Information, but Defamation. However, he hath done to me a great good turn, for which (because not intended) I will thank God, viz. He by his causeless Carping hath allayed in me the delight in Writing of Histories; seeing nothing can be so unpartially and inoffensively written, but some will carp thereat.
Mothers minding to wean their Children, use to put Soot, Wormwood or Mustard on the Nibbles of their Breasts. God foresaw I might Suck to a Surfet in Writing Histories, which hath been a Thief in the Lamp of my Life, wasting much Oyle thereof. My Head and Hand had robb'd my Heart in such delightful Studdies. Wherefore he raised the bitter Pen of the Animadvertor to wean me from such Digressions from my Vocation.
I now experimentally find the Truth of * Solomon's words, of making many Books there is no End. Not, but that all perfect Books (I mean perfect in sheets, otherwise none save Scripture perfect) have Finis in the Close thereof; or that any Author is so irrational, but He propounds an End to himself before he begins it; but that in making of many Books there is no end; that is, the Writers of them seldome or never do attain that End which they propound to themselves, especially if Squinting at sinister Ends, as who is not flesh and blood? Such as project wealth to themselves, are commonly by unwise managing, or casual miscarriage, impaired thereby in their Estates. Others who designed to themselves, (with the builders of Babel) to get them a Name, commonly meet with shame and disgrace. Or else, when their Books are ended, yet they are not ended, because though never so cautiously written, some Antagonists will take up the Bucklers against them, so that they must begin again after they have ended, (or sink in their credits) to write in their own vindication, which is my case, enough to take off my edge, formerly too keen in making multiplicity of Books.
I confess, I have yet one History ready for the Press, which I hope will be for Gods Glory and Honour of our Nation. This new-built Ship is now on the Stocks, ready to be lanched; and being a Vessel of great Burden, God send me some good Adventurers to bear part of the Expence. This done, I will never meddle more with making any Books of this Nature. It is a provident way, before Writing leave us, to leave of Writing; and the rather, because Scribling is the Frequentative thereof.
If therefore my Petitioning and Optative Amen, shall meet with Gods Commissioning and Imperative Amen, I will hereafter totally attend the Concernments of my Calling, and what directly and immediately shall tend to the advance of Devotion in my Self and in Others, as preparatory to my Dissolution out of this state of Mortality.