The Unfortunate Politician, Part 6 – Part 7
The Sixt Book.
1. ANDRONICUS hahavingAn. Dom. 1183. now left him neither Army to fight, or legges to flye; (being in the possession of his Enemies) betook himselfe to his Tongue, bemoaning his Case, and with Teares begging their favour. But those Eyes, which, weeping in jest, had mock'd others so often, could not now bee trusted, that they were in earnest. The storme at Land was more implacable than the tempest at Sea. Two heavy Iron Chaines were put about his neck, (in MettleAn. Dom. 1183. and weight, different from them he wore before) and loaden with Fetters and Insolencies from the Souldiers; (who, in such Ware, seldome give scant measure) hee was brought into the presence of Isaacius. Here the most mercifull and moderate contented themselves with Tongue-revenge, calling him Dogge of uncleannesse, Goat of Lust, Tygre of Cruelty, Religions Ape, and Envies Basilisk. But, others pull'd him by the Beard, twitch't the haire left by Age on his head, and proceeding from depriving him of Ornamentall Execrements, dasht out his teeth, put out one of his eyes, cut off his right hand; and thus maimed, without Surgeon to dresse him, man to serve him, or meat to feed him, he was sent to the publike Prison amongst Theeves and Robbers.An. Dom. 1183
2. All these were but the beginning of evill unto him. Some dayes after, with a shaved head crowned with Garliek, he was set on a scab'd Cammell, with his face backwards, holding the Taile thereof for a Bridle, and was led cleane through the City. All the Cruelties which he in two yeares and upwards, had committed upon severall persons, were now abbreviated and Epitomised on him, in as large a Character, as the shortnesse of the time would give leave, & the subject it selfe was capable of: they burnt him with Torches and Fire-brands, tortur'd him with Pincers, threw abundance of dirt upon him; and withall, such filthinesse, that the Reader would stop his Nose, if I should tell him the composition thereof; it is enough to say, that the worst thing that comes fromAn. Dom. 1183. Man, was the best in the mixture thereof.
3. Such as consult with their Credit will bee cautious how they report improbable Truthes, fearing they will not be received for. Truths, but rejected for improbable. Efpecially in this Age, wherein men resume their Libertie, conceiving it against the priviledge of their judgements, to have their Beliefe, (which should be a Voluntary) prest by the authority of others, to give credit to what beares not Proportion with Likely-hood. Could an old man (such as Andronicus was) passe the age of man, three-score and ten, who now onelyonly lived by the curtesie of Death to spare him, endure such paine, three miles, through so populous a City? The Poets onelyonly feigned Atlas to be weary of carrying of Heaven; but, must notAn. Dom. 1183. our Andronicus be either stifled for want of breath, or back-broken with store of weight, under so much earth throwne upon him? And was it possible, that Hee, who, before these times, had one foot in the grave, should have the other not follow after, when driven with such crueltie?
4. To render this likely, we may consider; first, that it was the intent of the People, not to kill, but to torment him. Secondly, when one Dish is to go clean through a Table of Guests, men are mannerly; all, take some, though none, enough. Besides, he was one of a strong Constitution, whose Brawny flesh Nature had knit together with Horny Nerves. And yet, had hee been a weak man; a Candle with glimmering light will burne long in a Socket, being thrifty of it selfe. Life was sweet to Andronicus, An. Dom. 1183.under all those noisome smells; and he would not part with it, whilst hee could keep it. But what was the maine, it was possible God might support his life, either out of Justice, or merciemercy. (And, wee read in*Revel. 9. verse 6. Scripture, of Men, that they shall desire to dye, and death shall flee from them.) I say not of Justice, visibly to acquit himselfe, in the eyes of the world, by making such a Monster, the open Marke for Mans Revenge; or out of mercy, giving him a long and large time of Repentance, if hee had the happinesse to make use thereof
5. Behold here a strange Conflict, betwixt the Crueltie of the People on the one side, & the Patience of Andronicus on the other; and yet an indifferent Umpire would adjudge the Victory to the latter: No raging, noAn. Dom. 1183. Raving, no Muttering, no Repining; but swallowed all in Silence: OnelyOnly he cryed out, Lord have mercy upon me: And, Why breake yee a bruised Reed! and sensible of his owne guiltinesse, hee seemed contented to passe his Purgatory here, that so hec might escape Hell hereafter.
6. After multitudes of other Cruelties, tedious to us to rehearse, (and how painfull then to him to endure!) hee was hanged by the Heeles betwixt two Pillars: In this posture; Hee put the stump of his right Arme, whose wound bleeded afresh, to his mouth, so to quench (as some suppose) the extremity of his thirst, with his owne Bloud, having no other moysture allowed him. When one ranne a Sword thorough his Back and Belly, so that his very Entralls were seen, and seemed to call (though inAn. Dom. 1183. vaine) on the Bowells of the Spectators, to have some compassion upon him. At last, with much a-doe, his soul (which had so many doores opened for it) found a passage, out of his body, into another world.
7. Heare, how one of great * Learning, is charitably opinioneda Drexeli us upon eternity, 5. Consideration. p. 147 of his finall Estate, making this Apostrophe to his Ghost: Oh, ANDRONICUS! Oh thou Emperour of the East! how much wast thou bound unto God, whose will it was, that for a few dayes thou shouldst suffer such things, that thou mightest not perish for ever! Thou wast miserable for a short time, that thou mightest not bee miserable for all eternity. I make no doubt, but thou hadst the yeares of Eternity in minde, seeing that thou didst suffer such things so constantly, and couragiously.
8. But doth not so strongAn. Dom. 1183. charity argue a weak judgement? Despaire it selfe may presume of salvation, if such an-one was saved. How improperly did he usurp that Expression, comparing himselfe to a *Matt. 12. v. 20.Bruised Reed, when, another Scriptureresemblance was more applyable unto him, of a *Isai. 58. v. 6.Bul-rush bowing downe his head; onelyonly top-heavy for the present, with sense of suffering, not inwardly contrited in heart, for the sinnes hee had committed. Must not true Repentance have a longer season to ripen it, and by workes ensuing, to avouch to the world the sincerity thereof? Insomuch that, of late, some affirme that the good Theefe on the Crosse did not then first begin, but first renew his Repentance, lately interrupted by a fellonious Act. Allow Andronious for a Saint; and we shall people Heaven with a newAn. Dom. 1183. Plantation of Whores and Theeves. (how volumnious will the Booke of Martyrs be, if Paine alone does make them!)
9. On the other side, we must be wary, how, in our Censures, wee shut Heaven-doore against any Penitents. Farre bee it from us to distrust the power of Gods mercy, or to deny the efficacie of true (though late) Repentance: the last groan which divorces the soule from the body, may unite it to God: though the Arme of his body was cut off, the Hand of his faith might hold. All that I will adde is this, if Andronicus his soule went to Heaven, it is pitty that any should know of it, lest they bee encouraged to imitate the wicked Premises of his life, hoping by his Example to obtaine the same happy Conclusion after death.
10. After his Execution, theAn. Dom. 1183. tide of the Peoples fury did turne, who began to love his memory, and lament his Losse: Such as before were blinded with Prejudice against him, could now clearely see many good deeds he had done for the Publique, and began to recount with themselves, many Sovereigne Lawes, which hee had enacted: some bemoaned the misery which he had endured, as if his punishment was over-proportion'd to his deserts. Whether this pitie proceeded out of that generall humour of men, never to value things till they are lost; or, because their revenge had formerly surfeted upon him, & now began to disgorge it selfe againe; Or, which is most probable, this Compassion arose from the mutability and inconstancy of humane Nature, which hates alwaies to be imprisoned in one and the sameAn. Dom. 1183. minde; but being in constant Motion through the Zodiac of all Passions, will not stay long in the same Signe; and sometimes goes from one Extremity to another.
11. By this time Isaacius was brought by Basilius the Patriarch unto the Throne, and placed thereon with all solemnity: then the Crowne was put upon his head, on the top whereof was a Diamond-Crosse, (greatnesse and Care are twins) which Isaacius kissed: I welcome thee, said he, though not as a stranger, who have been acquainted with Crosses from my Cradle: Thou art both my Sword and my Shield; for hitherto I have conquered with suffering. Then weighing the Crowne in his hand; it is (faith he) a beautifull burthen, which loads, more than it adornes.
12. Here Basilius the PatriarkAn. Dom 1183. made a Sermon-like Oration unto him, which, as it was uttered with much Gravity, so it was heard with no lesse Attention, and embraced by the Emperour, with great Thankfulnes. Not presuming, Sir, to teach you what you doe not know, I am incited by my Calling, and encouraged by your Clemency, to put you in minde, of what otherwise you may forget. This Crowne and Sceptre were sent you from Heaven; onelyonly we have done our duty in delivering them unto you. And now me thinks, that Divine Majesty perfectly shines in You his Image. These our Eyes upheld, & folded hands, and bared heads, and bended knees are due from us to God, and wee pay them to him, by paying them to you his Receiver. And wee doubt not, but you will improve the Power and Honour bestowed on you, for the protection An. Dom. 1183.of the people committed unto you.
13. In a mans body, whilst naturall Heat and radicall Moisture, observe their limits; all is preserved in health: if either exceedes their bounds, the body either drownes, or burnes. It fareth thus in the constitution of the State, betwixt your Power, and our Prosperity; whilst both agree, they support one another: but, if they fall out, about Masterie, even that which over-comes, will be destroyed in a generall confusion. And, if you should betray your Trust, though we bow, and beare, and sigh, and sob, armed with Prayers and Teares; yet know, that our sad Mournings will mount into that Court, where lye the Appeales of Subjects, and the Censures of Soveraignes, which will heavily bee inflicted by him, whom you represent. Speake I not this, An. Dom. 1183.out of any distrust of your Justice, but out of earnest desire of your happinesse, wishing, that the greatnesse of Constantine, Founder of this place, the goodnesse of Jovian, the successe of Honorius, the long life of Valens, the quiet death of Manuel, the immortall fame of Justinian, and what soever good was singl'd on them, may joyntly be heaped upon you, and your Posterity.
14. Hereupon followed such a shout of the people, as the oldest man present had not heard the like; and all interpreted it as a token presaging the future felicity of the new Emperour. And thus we have presented the Reader, with the remarkable intricacie and perplexity of successe (as if Fortune were like to lose her selfe in a Labyrinth of her owne making,) winding backward and forward, withinAn. Dom. 1183. the compasse of five yeares, with more strange varieties then can easily bee paralell'd in so short a continuance of time.
1. First, Alexius; no Andronicus.
2. Then, Alexius; and Andronicus.
3. Then, Andronicus; and Alexius.
4. Then, Andronicus; no Alexius.
5. Then, Isaacius; no Andronicus.
Thus, few strings curiously plaid upon by the cunning fingers of a skilfull Artist may make much Musick: and Divine Providence made here a miraculous harmony by these odd expected transpositions, tuneing allAn. Dom. 1183. to his owne glory.
15. Here I intended to end our History, save that I cannot discharge my Trust, and bee faithfull to the Truth, without taking some speciall observation of Basilius. Wee cannot forget how Active an Instrument hee had been to serve the cruelty of Andronicus: and when first I looked wishly upon his hands (so busied in wicked employments) I presently read his Fortune, that hee should come to a violent death. The old * Hermite seemed to mee a4th. Book 13. Paragr. Prophet, to confirme me in my opinion, (when reproving him for stickling in temporall matters) and my conjectures grew confident, that this Patriarke in processe of time, would either shake his Mitre from his head, or his head from his shoulders.An. Dom. 1183. And, perchance, if the ingenuous Reader would be pleased freely to confesse his thoghts therein, hee was possest with the same expectation.
16. How wide were we from the marke? how blinde is Man in future Contingents? How wise is God, in crossing our conceits, leaving the world amused with his wayes; that men finding themselves at a losse, may learne more to adore, what they cannot understand! See Basilius, as brave, and as bright as ever; and whilst all his Fellowservants had their wages paid them by Andronicus, (some made longer in their Necks, others shorter by their Heads) He alone survives in Health and Honour: which made most to admire, what peculiar Antidote of Soveraigne vertue hee hadAn. Dom. 1183. gotten, to preserve himselfe from the infectious fury of that Tyrant.
17. But that which advanceth this wonder into the Marks of a Miracle, is, that this cunning Pilot, should so quickly tacke about, when the winde changed, and ingratiate Himselfe with Isaacius. When times suddenly turned from Extreames; those persons which formerly were first in favour, are cast farthest behinde, and they must bee very active and industrious to recover themselves. But Basilius by a strange Dexterity, was instantly in the front of Favourites, and, without any abatement, carryed it in as high a straine as ever before; and, although (being weary already) I am loath to travell further into the ReigneAn. Dom. 1183. of this new Emperour, to see in the sequell thereof what became of Basilius at last; yet, so farre as I can from the best chosen Advantage discerne and discover his successe; no signall Punishment, aboue the ordinary Standard of Casualities, did befall Him; and, for ought appears to the contrary, hee dyed in his bed.
18. Of such as seriously consider this Accident, some perchance may bee so well stockt with Charity, as to conceive, that hee repented of his former Impiety; and, thereupon, was pardoned by Heaven, and came to a peaceable end. Others may conceive, that as, when a whole Forrest of Trees is felled, some aged, eminent, Oake, by the high-wayes side, may bee suffered to survive, asAn. Dom. 1183 uselesse for Timber, because decayed; yet, usefull for a Landmarke, for the direction of Travellers; for Basilius being now aged, and past dangerous Activity, was preserved for the Information of Posterity, and (when all others were cut downe by cruell deaths,) he left alone to instruct the insuing age of the Tragicall passage which had happened in his Remembrance. But the most solid, and judicious will expresse themselves in the language of the *1 Tim. 5. 24.Apostle, Some mens sinnes are open before-hand, going before to judgement, and some mens follow after. All notorious offenders are not publickly branded in the World with an infamous Character of shame or paine: but some carrie their sinnes concealed, and receive the reward for them in anotherAn. Dom. 1183. world.
19. It onelyonly remaineth, that wee now give the personall dedescription of Andronicus, so farre forth as it may be collected from the few extant Authors which have written thereof.
I. His Stature.
HEE was higher then the ordinary sort of Men. He was seven full feet in length (if there be no mistake in the difference of the measure.) And whereas, often the Cock-loft is empty, in those which Nature hath built many stories high; his head was sufficiently stored with all Abilities.
II. His Temper.
OF a most healthfull Constitution, of a lively Colour, and vigorous Limbes, so that he was used to say, that he could endure the violence of any Disease for a Twelve-month together by his sole naturall strength, without being beholding to Art, or any assistance of Physic.
III. His Learning.
HEE had a quicke Apprehension, and solid judgement, and was able on any emergent occasion, to speake rationally on any Controversie in Divinity. Hee would not abide to heare any Fundamentall Point of Religion brought into question; insomuch, that when once two Bishops began to contend about the meaning of that noted place, My Father is greater than I am; Andronicus suspecting that they would fall foule upon the Arrian Heresie, vowed to throw them both into the River, except they would bee quiet, A way to quench the hottest Disputation, by an in-artificiall Answer, drawne from such Authoritie.
IIII. His Wives.
FIRST, Theodora Commenia, Daughter of Isaacius Sebabasto Crator, his nearest kinswoman; so that the Marriage was most incestuous.
The second, Anna, Daughter to the King of France: of whom, largely before.
V. His lawfull Issue, both by his first Wife.
IOHN COMNENIUS his eldest sonne. It seemes hee was much deformed, and his Soule, as cruell, as his body, ugly. He assisted Hagio Christophorita-Stephanus in the stifling of Xene.
Manuel, his second sonne, of a most vertuous disposition. Let those, that undertake the ensuing History, shew how both had their eyes bored out by Isaacius.
VI. His Naturall Issue.
I Meet with none of their names, and though hee lived wantonly with many Harlots, and Concubines: yet (what a Father observeth) foreign, Many Wives make few children. And it may be imputed to the providence of Nature, that Monsters (such as Andronicus) in this particular, are happy that they are Barren.
VII. His Buriall.
BY publike Edict it was prohibited that any should bury his body; however, some were found, who bestowed, though not a solemne grave, yet an obscure hole upon him, not out of pitty to him, but out of love to themselves; except any will say, that his Corps, by extraordinary stinch, provided its owne buriall, to avoyd a generall annoyance.
FINIS.
End of the text · Thomas Fuller, The Unfortunate Politician (1646)