The Unfortunate Politician, Part 5
The fift Book.
1. SECURITY is theAn. Dom. 1183. Mother of danger, & the Grandmother of destruction. Let ANDRONICUS bee a proofe hereof, who now, nearest to his ruine, grew most confident, as conceiving he had stopp't every cranny, where danger might creep in, and therefore in a bravery, he sent a defiance to Fortune her selfe, which notwithstanding, was returned with his owne speedy overthrow.
2. Yet could hee not justly complaine, that he was suddenly surprised, seeing Nature might seeme to have gone out of herAn. Dom. 1183. way, to give him warning, and Nemesis did not hunt him so fast, but that she allow'd him faire Law to provide for himselfe, by several Prodigies which hapned at that time. But Andronicus, not onelyonly against the full intent, but almost visible meaning, of the same Accidents, did make a jesting Construction of them, and and was deafe to the loud language of all ominous passages, as not relating unto him.
3. Being told of the apparition of a Comet, (no leiger-starre of Heaven, but an extraordiany Embassadour) portending his death, as some expounded it; he skoffingly replyed, that hee was glad to see the heavens so merry, to make Bone-fires, for his Triumphs: And what was a Comet, but the Kitchin-stuffe of the aire, which blazing for a while, would goe out inAn. Dom. 1183. a snuffe: Adding, that that Starre might presage the fall of some Prince, that wore long haire, whereas, his was short enough. When another told him of an Earth-quake, which had lately happened; I am glad, saith he, that the Mother-Earth, sicke of of the Collick, had so good a vent for a winde: Being informed that the Statue of Saint Paul, (his Titulary Saint) was seene to weep; he evaded the sad presage thereof, by distinguishing on Teares, therebeing an Harmony in their language, as bearing not onelyonly different, but contrary Sences, proceeding either from Mirth or Mourning; and therefore, that weeping might probably fore-shew good successe. In a word; All serious and solemne Omens, he tuned to a jesting meaning, keeping himselfe constant to his first principle;An. Dom. 1183. That, Fortune; when fear'd, is a Tyrant; when, scorn'd, is a Coward. But, though hee unjustly perverted the sense of these Prodigies; the event did truely interpret them in his destruction.
4. For Isaacius Angelus persecuted by the Executioner, fled into the great Church, (in those dayes, the Sanctuary at large for Innocents) where, making an Oration to the people, he exceeded Expectation, and himself; as if hitherto he had thriftily reserved his worth (a serious, others say, simple man) to spend it more freely when occasion required it. He spake not like those mercenary people, which make their tongue, their ware, and Eloquence, their Trade; but, he uttered himselfe so pathetically, that he did not court Attention, but command it. HeeAn. Dom. 1183. made both his Innocence, and the cruelty of Andronicus, to appeare so plaine, that the people not onelyonly afforded him, protection for the present; but also, bestowed on him Soveraignty for the future, and instantly elected, and proclaimed him, Emperour of Greece.
5. Stand wee here still, and wonder what should be the Reason, that Andronicus should suffer this Isaacius, next Prince of the bloud, so long safely to survive, who had cut off other Persons of lesse danger, & lower degree. Wee cannot ascribe it to his incogitancy, as inconsistent with his vast memorie, to forget a matter of such importance; lesse can we impute it to his Pitty, as if sparing him out of compassion: seeing that a Thred might sooner hope to be prolonged underAn. Dom. 1183. the knife of of Atropos, than any to finde favour under his impartiall crueltie. Was it not then because he had him in his power? and counting himselfe sure to seize on him at pleasure; reserved him, as Sweet-meat, to close his stomack, when first hee had fed on severall Dishes of courser Diet: Or, because hee slighted him, as a narrow-hearted man, religiously bred in a Covent, unfit for a Campe, the object rather of his contempt, than feare; for that his hands might seeme tied with his Beads, from being dangerously active, in the State. But, let us remove our wondring at this neglect of Andronicus, to make roome for our admiration of divine Providence, who confounded this Politician in his owne cunning. Thus the most expert Gamsters may sometimes over-see; and, Traitors, though they be carefullAn. Dom. 1183. to cut downe all Trees, which hinder their ambitious Prospect; wil unawares leave one still standing, whereof their owne Gallowes may be made.
6. Immediately all the Prisons in the City were set open, and those petty sinks of dissolute people emptied themselves into a common Sewer, and became into a tumultuous Torrent. Headlong they haste to the Pallace of Andronicus, where, not finding him at home, they wreckt their spight upon that beautifull building, and sumptuous furniture therein. Should I insist upon particulars, all sorts of Readers would be sadded therewith. Ladies would lament the losse of so many Pearles and precious stones, whose very Cases were Jewells. Souldiers bemoane the spoyling of so magnificent an Armorie. But Schollers would be most passionate, toAn. Dom. 1183. bewaile the want of that Librarie so full fraught with rarities, that nothing abated the Pretiousnesse, but the Plenty of them. Many Records, (the Staires whereby Antiquaries climbe up into the knowledge of former times) were torne in pieces, though wee need not believe them so old, as that some of them had escaped Noah's floud, and were now drowned in a popular Deluge.
7. Nothing was preserved whole and entire. Whether, because they pretended some Religion in Revenge, as not aiming, out of Covetousnesse, to enrich themselves, but, out of Justice, to punish the Tyrant; or because they thought the very Goods of Andronicus, were become evill, guilty of their owners faults; and therefore were all to be abolished as execrable:An. Dom. 1183. yea, as if the very Chappel it self, which hee had built, had been un-hallowed, by the Prophanenesse of the Founder; with all the Utensils thereof, it was defaced. A stately Structure it was, ANDRONICUS not being of their opinion, who conceiving an holy horrour to live in darke and humble Cells; fancie not Triumphant Churches, for feare that their Hearts bee there lost in their Eyes. But he professed his Devotion to rise with the roofe of the Church; so that his soule seemed to anticipate heaven, by beholding the Earnest thereof in a beautifull Temple. However, now his Chappell was layd flat to the ground; and, amongst other things therein, of inestimable value, the Letter, which, by tradition, was reported to bee written by Christs owne hands, to Abgarus King of Edessa, An. Dom. 1183.then was embezeled. So irresistable is the Tyrany of a Tumult; and therefore, it may be all good mens Prayers, that the People may either never understand their own Power, or alwayes use it a-right.
8. Andronicus, as we said before, had secretly conveyed himselfe away. Who would not have thought, but that this great Fencer should have been provided of variety of Guards, against all the crosseblows of Fortune; at least, to have had some impregnable place, neare hand, to retire unto? Whereas hee had no other Policy to escape, than that poor shift, which the silly simple Hare useth against the Hounds, by flying before them. Indeed, had the Conspiracy against Andronicus, been but locall, or partiall, so that hee had had any sound part to begin on, he would probablyAn. Dom. 1183. have made resistance, (as Physitians must have some strength of Nature in their Patient, to practice on;) but the defection from him was so generall and universall, hee found not any effectuall friend left him. OnelyOnly hee had scrap't together a masse of Coyne, more trusting in money, than men hoping, in forraigne parts, to buy some friends therewith; knowing that Gold, if weight, is currant in all Countries. Then taking Anna his Empresse, and Maraptica his whore, with some few servants, he durst confide in, and the Treasure hee had formerly provided; he made speede, in a Pinnace, through the black Sea, to the Tauro-Scythians, out of the bounds of his Empire, hoping there to liue in quiet. And because we have mentioned Anna the Empresse, wee cannot passe her by in silence.An. Dom. 1183 For if one would draw a map of miserie, to paire like yeares, with like mis-hap, 'tis hard to finde a fitter Patterne.
9. Daughter shee was to the King of France, being married a childe (having little list to love, and lesse, to aspire) to the yong Emperour Elexius, whilst both their yeares, put together, could not spell Thirty. After this, shee had time too much, to bemoane, but, none at al, to amend, her condition, being slighted and neglected by her husband. Oft-times, being alone (as sorrow loves no witnesse) having roome, and leisure to bewaile her selfe, shee would relate the Chronicle of her unhappinesse, to the Walls, as hoping to finde pitie, from stones, when men prov'd unkind unto her. Much did shee envie the felicity of those Milk-maids, which each morning passe overAn. Dom. 1183. the Virgin-dew, and Pearledgrasse, sweetly singing by day, and soundly sleeping at night, who had the priviledge freely to bestow their affections, and wed them, which were high in love, though low in condition: Whereas, Royall Birth had denyed her that happinesse, having neither liberty to chuse, nor leave to refuse; being compell'd to love, and sacrificed to the Politique ends of her potent Parents.
10. But Anna, unhappy at her first Voyage, hoped to better her Condition by a second Adventure; yet made more haste than good speed, marrying Andronicus some weeks after the death of Alexius. Surely there is an Annus luctus, A yeare of mourning, which the modestie of widdowes may doe well to observe, lest neglecting it in their widdowhood, it be required of them afterwards,An. Dom. 1183. with Interest, in the ill successe of their second marriage. For, Maraptica, a proud Harlot, but excellent Musician, justled with Anna in the Emperours affection: (and halfe an old Husband was too much for a young Lady to spare) and in processe of time, prevailed to obtaine violent possession. The Empresse, knowing her selfe honest, and amiable, stood on her Deserts; not descending to beg that love, which shee conceived due unto her, but daring him to detaine it at his owne perill, seeing hee wronged himselfe in wronging of her, forfeiting his Troth, which he had publikely pledged unto her. But, the Curtizan, knowing that that love needs Buttresses in Cunning, which hath no foundation in Conscience; applyed her self in all particulars to bee complizantAn. Dom. 1183. to the desires of Andronicus. This Maraptica, though shee had faire fine finges to play on the Lute, had otherwise foule great Clutches, to snatch, graspe, and hold, whatsoever shee could comeby. And knowing that shee had but a short Terme in the Tenement of her greatnesse, (subject both to the mortality and mutabilitie of Andronicus) and withall, that shee was not bound to reparations, therefore cared not what waste shee made; but, by wrong and rapine, scraped together a masse of money. Meane time, Anna was kept poore enough; who, whilst Maid, Widdow, and Wife, (twice a Bride, before once a Woman) scarce saw a joyfull day; though borne of a King, and wedded to two Emperours.
11. But to returne to Andronicus, who pursued after by hisAn. Dom. 1183. guiltie conscience, found no rest in himselfe; so that for nights, sleep was a stranger him. Hee that had put out other mens eyes, could not close his owne; and when Nature in him starv'd, for want of rest, did at last hungerly snatch at short slumbers: Dreams did more terrifie, than sleep refresh him. His active fancy in the night did descant on what hee had done before. Sometimes, the pale Ghost of Alexius seemed with glowing Pincers to torment him; otherwhile, Maria Caesarissa stitcht hot burning Needles through his side; and, not long after, two streames of reeking bloud seemed to flow out of the eyes of Lapardas, wherein Andronicus for a while seemed to swimme, till, beginning to sinke, to save himselfe, he caught hold on his Pillow, and so did awake.An. Dom. 1183.
12. When awaked, his minde was musing upon a Prophesie, which some dayes since was delivered unto him: For hee had employed an Agent, unto one Seth, an old Conjurer, to know of him what should be the name of his next successour in the Empire. Now, first a great S. was presented in a Bason of water; and next that, an I. but, both so doubtfully delineated, that they were hardly legible: done on purpose for severall Reasons. Because, it stood not with the state of the Prince of Darknesse, to bee over-cleare in his Acts; and those that vent bad Wares love to keep blind shops: Besides, obscurity added veneration to his Oracles, and active Superstitious Fancies, whet with the difficulty of them, would be sharpe-sighted to read more than was written. But the maine wasAn. Dom. 1183. to save his owne credit, taking covert of Mysticall Expressions, that in case Satan should faile in his Answers, hee might lay the blame on mens understanding him.
13. Put then these two Letters together, S. I. and read them backwards I. S. by an Hysterosis, & take a part of the whole by a Synecdoche; (all favourable Figures must bee used, to piece out the Devills short skill in future Contingents) and then Andronicus was told by the Conjurer, hee had the name of his Successor. Aske mee not why Hells Alphabet must be read backward, let Satan give an account of his owne Couz'nage; whether out of an apish imitation of the Hebrew, which is read retrograde; or, because that ugly filthy Serpent, … Crawls Cancer-like, or to make his Answers the moreAn. Dom. 1183. AEnigmaticall, for the reasons afore-said. Andronicus by this I. S. understood I Saurus Comnenus, who lately, by Usurpation, had set up a Kingdom in the Isle of Cyprus, and therefore alwayes observed him with a jealous eye, and now too late perceives his errour, and findes the Prophesie performed in Isaacius Angelus.
14. Thus, those that are correspondents with the Devill, for such Intelligence, have need when they have receiv'd the text of his Answers, to borrow his Comment too, lest otherwise they mistake his meaning. And, men may justly take heed of Curiosity, to know things to-come; which is one of the kernells of the forbidden Fruit, and even in our Age sticks still in the throats of too many, even to the danger of choaking them, if it bee not warily prevented.An. Dom. 1183.
15. Hitherto, what disasters had happened to Andronicus, might partly be imputed to men, and second causes: Whereas now, divine Justice, to have its power praised in its punishmens, seemed visibly to put out a hand from heaven; and he wants eyes, that cannot, or shuts them, that will not, behold it. See now the Gally, wherein he sayled, having having all the Canvas thereof, imployed with a prosperous Winde, when suddenly it was checkt in the full speed, and beaten back with fowle weather into a small Harbour, called Chele. Soon after, the windes serving againe, hee set forth the second time, and had not made many leagues, when Neptune with his Trident thrust him back againe; such was the violence of the Seas against him. A third timeAn. Dom. 1183. he set forth with a faire Gale, when instantly, the wind changing, forced him to returne. Here, what tugging, what Towing, what Rowing! nothing was omitted, which Art, or Industrie, Skill, or Will, could performe: Andronicus dropping a shower of Gold to the Saylers, to reward the Sweat that fell from them. All in vaine; For as, indeed, hee had offended the Fire, with the Innocents hee burnt therein: angred the Aire, with hundreds of Carkasses, which therein hee had caused to bee hanged: provoked the Earth, by burying men alive, in her Bosome; So, most of all hee had enraged the Water against him, (now mindfull of his Injuries) by him made a Charnellhouse, and generall Grave, intoAn. Dom. 1183. which, the body of the young Emperour ALEXIUS was cast, with thousands of his Subjects. God, herein to prevent all mis-constructions of Casuality (which otherwise men might fasten upon it,) and knowing that men are slow in their Apprehensions, and dull in their Memory to learne the Lessons of his Justice, he re-iterated and repeated it three severall times, that the most blockish Scholler, might learne it perfectly by heart: This is the worke of the Lord, and it may justly seeme marvellous in our eyes. Thus ANDRONICUS was, the third time, sent backe to the place from whence hee came, and so to the place of Execution. For hee was no sooner come to the shore, but Servants, imployed by ISAACIUS,An. Dom. 1183. (who had way-laid all the Ports on the Blacke Sea) stood ready to Arrest him.