A Token for Mourners, Part 2
First, I shall give you the Signs of immoderate Sorrow, and shew you when it exceeds its bounds, and becomes sinful, even a sorrow to be sorrowed for; and for clearness sake, I will first allow what may be allowed to the Christian mourner, and then you will the better discern wherein the excesse and sinfulness of your sorrow lyes.
And First, How much soever we censure and condemn immoderate Sorrow, yet the afflicted must be allowed an awakened and tender sense of the Lords afflicting hand upon them. Its no virtue to bear what we do not feel: Yea it is a most unbecoming temper, not to tremble when God is smiting.
The Lord faith to Moses, in the case of Miriam, Num. 12. 24. If her Father had spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days? The face is the Table and Seat of beauty and honour; but when it is spit upon, it's made the sink of shame: Had her own Father spit upon her face when she had displeased him, Would she not have gone aside as one ashamed by such a rebuke, and not have shew'd her face to him again in seven days? How much more should she take it to heart, and be sensible of this rebuke of mine, who have fill'd her face with Leprous spots, the signs of my displeasure against her? Surely God will be ashamed of those, that are not ashamed when he rebukes them.
It is not magnanimity, but stupidity to make light of Gods corrections, and for this the afflicted are smartly taxed, Jer. 5. 3. I have smitten them but they have not grieved. When God smote Job in his person, children, and estate, he arose and rent his mantle, and put dust upon his head, to shew he was not senseless and unaffected, and yet blessed the afflicting God, which as plainly shew'd he was not contumacious and unsubmissive.
Secondly, We must allow the mourning afflicted soul, a due and comely expression of his grief and sorrow, in his complaints both to God and men.
Its much more becoming a Christian ingenuously to open his troubles, than sullenly to smother them. There's no fin in complaining to God, but much wickedness in complaining of him. Griefes are eased by groans, and heart pressures relieved by utterance. This was Davids course, and constant way, who was a man of afflictions, Psal. 142. 2, 3, I poured out my complaint before him, I shewed before him my trouble: when my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path.
To whom should children go but to their Father to make their moan? Whence may they expect relief and comfort but from him? The 102. Psalm is intituled, A Psalm for the afflicted, when he is over-whelmed, and poureth out his complaint before the Lord.
And happy were it if every afflicted soul would chuse this way to express his sorrows. Did we complain more to God, God would complain less of us, and quickly abate the matters of our complaint. O you cannot think how moving, how melting, how prevailing it is with God, when his poor burdened and afflicted people, in a day of distress and despondency, when deep calleth unto deep, and one wave drives on another, then for the oppressed soul with humility, filial confidence, and faith, to turn it self to the Lord and thus bespeak him,
Father, What shall I do? My soul is greatly bowed down by trouble, I am full to the brim, my vain heart hath looked for relief this way and that way but none comes, every door of comfort is shut up against me: Thou hast multiplyed my sorrows, and renewed thy witnesses against me: Comfort is removed from my outward, and peace from my inner man: Sharp afflictions without, and bitter reflections within. O Lord I am oppressed, undertake for me. Fathers of the flesh pitty their disstressed children when they complain to them, and wilt not thou O Lord, whose compassions as far exceed creature-compassions, as the Sea exceeds a drop. O my Father pitty me, support me, deliver me.
O how acceptable is this to God! how advantagious to the soul!
We may also make our complaint to men. So did Job, Chap. 19. 21. Have pitty, have pitty on me O ye my friends; for the hand of God hath touched me. And it is a mercy if we have any friends that are wise, faithful, and experienced. They are born for such a time as this, Prov. 17. 17. But be they what they will, they connot pitty as God, relieve and succour as he: and often times we may say with Job, Chap. 21. 4. As for me, Is my complaint to men? and if it were, Why should not my spirit be troubled? q. d. What great advantage can I get by these complaints? I may burden the heart of my friend, but how little doth that ease my own! Yet the very opening of the heart to an experienced tender Christian is some relief, and the engaging his prayers is more. Thus far you mone safely: In all this there is no danger.
Thirdly, The afflicted person may (ordinarily) accuse, judge and condemn himself, for being the cause and procurer of his own troubles. He may lawfully be discontented, and vexed with himself for his own folly, when the iniquity of his heels compasseth him about. And truly it is but seldom that any great affliction befalls a gracious person, but he saw the need of such a rod before he felt it.
Hath God smitten thy child or friend? and didst thou not foresee some sharp trial coming? Did not thy fond secure carnal temper need such a scourge, to awaken, quicken and purge thee? Or if you did not foresee it, its now your duty to search and examine your selves. So the Church in their afflictions resolved, Lam. 3. 40. Let us search and try our wayes. When God is smiting we should be searching. Surely our iniquities will enquire after us, if we will not enquire after them. Yea, in the day of affliction, a gracious soul is inquisitive about nothing more than the procuring and provoking cause of his troubles, Job 10. 2. Shew me wherefore thou contendest with me? q. d. Lord what special corruption is it that this rod is sent to rebuke? What sinful neglect doth it come to humble me for? O discover it now to me, and recover me now from it.
And having found the root and cause of their troubles, ingenuous souls will shame themselves for it, and give glory to God by an humble submission, and vindication of the equity of his proceedings, Job. 7. 20. I have sinned, what shall I do unto thee, thou preserver of men? He thinks it no shame freely to discover unto God, and deeply to abase himself before him, for his folly.
I remember a choice note that *Nec enim pudet sanctos viros postquam renovata corda fuerint per resipiscentiam, lapsus sui & dedecoris ad dei gloriam meminisse. Nihil nobis decedit quod cedit in illius honorem. Brightman in Cant. cap. 1. ver. 4. pag. 11.Mr. Brightman hath in his commentary upon the Canticles.
Holy men (saith he) after their hearts are renewed by repentance, are not ashamed to remember and confess their slips and shameful falls, to the glory of God: for they account that glory which such confessions take from them is not lost, whilst it goes to the glory of God. If his glory may rise out of our shame, how willing should we be to take such shame to us? Holy David was not ashamed to acknowledge, Psal. 38. 5. My wounds stink and are corrupt, because of my foolishness. He is the wisest man that thus befooles himself before God.
Its true God may afflict from prerogative, or for tryal; but we may always see cause enough in our selves, and its safest to charge it upon our own folly.
Lastly, The afflicted Christian may in an humble submissive manner, plead with God and be earnest for the removal of the afflicton.
When affliction presseth us above strength, when it disables us for duty, or when it gives advantage to temptation, then we may say with David, Remove thy stroke from me, I am consumed by the blow of thine hand, Psal. 39. 10. Even our Lord Jesus Christ, in the day of his troubles, poured out his soul with strong cries and many tears, saying, Father if thou be willing, let this cup pass from me, Luke 22. 42. Oppressed nature desires ease; and even our renewed nature desires freedom from those clogs and temptations which hinder us in duty, or expose us to snares.
Thus far we may safely go.