Divine Conduct, Head 2 · Performance 6
The Sixth Performance of Providence.
VI.
THus you see, the care Providence hath had over you in your youth, in respect of that Civil Imployment to which it guided us in those dayes.
We will in the next place consider it as our Guide, Providential performances with respect to … our Civil… Relations.and the Orderer of our RelatJons for us. That Providence hath a special hand in this matter, is evident both from Scripture assertions, and the acknowledgements of holy men, who in that great concernment of their lives, have still owned, and acknowledged the directing hand of Providence. Take an instance of both. The Scripture plainly asserts the dominion of Providence over this affair in Prov. 19. 14. A prudent Wife is from the Lord: and Prov. 18. 22. Whos. findeth a Wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. So for Children, see Psal. 127. 3. Lo, Children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the Womb is his reward.
And it hath ever been the practice of holy men, to seek the Lord for direction and counsel, when they have been upon the change of their condition. No doubt but Abraham's encouragement in that case was the fruit of prayer, Gen. 24. 7. His pious servant also, who was imployed in that affair, did both earnestly seek counsel of God, Gen, 24. 12. and thankfully acknowledge his gracious Providence in guiding it, Ver. 26, 27.
The same we may observe in Children, the fruit of marriage, 1 Sam. 1. 20. Luke 1. 13, 14. Now the Providence of God may be divers wayes displayed for the engaging of our hearts in love to the God of our mercies.
(1.) There is very much of Providence seen in appointing the Parties each for other. In this, the Lord goes oftentimes beyond our thoughts and projections; yea, and oftentimes crosses mens desires and designs to their great advantage. Not what they fancy; but what his infinite wisdom judges best, and most beneficial for them takes place. Hence it is, that probabilities are so often dashed; and things remote and utterly improbable are brought about, in very strange and unaccountable methods of Providence.
(2.) There is much of Providence seen in the harmony and agreeableness of tempers and dispositions; from whence a very great part of the tranquillity and comforts of our lives results: or at least, though natural tempers and educations did not so much harmonize before, yet they do so after they come under the Ordinance of God, Gen. 2. 24. They two shall be one flesh, not one only in respect of Gods institutJon, but one in respect of love and affectJon, that those who so lately were meer strangers to each other, are now endeared to a degree beyond the nearest relations in blood. Vbi supra, For this cause shall a man leave Father and Mother, and shall cleave to his Wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
(3.) But especially, Providence is remarkable, in making one instrumental to the eternal good of the other, I Cor. 7. 16. How knowest thou, O Wife, but thou maist save thy Husband? or how knowest thou, O Man, whether thou shalt save thy Wife? Hence is that grave Exhortation to the Wives of unbelieving Husbands, 1 Pet. 3. 1. to win them by their conversation, which should be to them in stead of an ordinance.
Or if both be gracious, then what singular assistance and mutual help is hereby gained to the furtherance of their Eternal good? Whilst they live together as Heirs of the grace of life, I Pet. 3. 7. O blessed Providence! that directed such into so intimate relation on Earth, who shall inherit together the common SalvatJon in Heaven!
(4.) How much of Providence is seen in Children the fruit of MarrJage? To have any Posterity in the Earth, and not be left altogether as a dry tree: To have comfort and joy in them, is a special Providence, importing a special mercy to us. To have the breaches made upon our Families repaired, is a Providence to be owned with a thankful heart. When God shall say to a man, as he speaks in another case to the Church, Isa. 49. 20. The Children which thou shalt have after thou hast lost the other, shall say again in thine ears, the place is too strait for me, &c
And these Providences will appear more affectingly sweet and lovely to you, if you but compare its allotments to you, with what it hath allotted to many others in the world. For do but look abroad, and you shall find,
(1.) Multitudes unequally yoked, to the imbittering of their lives, whose Relations are clogs and hinderances both in Temporals and Spirituals. Yea, we find an account in Scripture of gracious persons, a great part of whose comfort in this world hath been split upon this Rock. Abigail was a discreet and vertuous W… man, but very unsuitably matched to a churlish Nabal; see 1 Sam. 25. 25. What a temptation to the neglect of a known duty, prevail'd upon the renowned Moses, by the means of Zipporah his Wife? Exod. 4. 24, 25. David had his scoffing Michal, 2 Sam. 6. 20. And patient Job no small addition to all his other afflictions, from the Wife of his bosom, who should have been a support to him in the day of his trouble, Job 19. 17.
No doubt, but God sanctifies such rods to his Peoples good. If Socrates knew how to improve his affliction in his Zantippe, to the increase of his patience; much more will they who converse with God under all Providences, whether sweet or bitter. Nevertheless this must be acknowledged to be a sad stroke upon any person, and such as maims them upon the working hand, by unfitting them for duty, 1 Pet. 3. 7. and cuts off much of the comfort of life also.
(2.) How many are there, who never enjoy the comfortable fruits of Marriage? but are denyed the sight, at least, the enjoyment of Children, Jer. 22. 30. Thus saith the Lord, write this man Childless, &c. or if they have Children, yet cannot enjoy them, Hosea 9. 12. Though they bring up Children, yet will I bereave them, that there shall not be a man left; who only bear for the grave, and have their expectations raised for a greater affliction to themselves.
(3.) And it is no rare or unusual thing to see Children and near Relations the greatest Instruments of affliction to their Parents and Friends: so that after all their other sorrows and troubles in the World, nearest Relations bring up the rear of sorrows (as One speaks) and prove greater griefs than any other.Mr. T. C. in his Isa…gog… O how many Parents have complained with the Tree in the Fable, that their very hearts have been rived asunder with those Wedges that were cut out of their own bodies? What a grief was Esau to Isaac and Rabecka? Gen. 26. 34, 35. What a scourge were Absalom and Amnon to David?
Well then, if God have set the solitary in FamilJes, as it is Psal. 68. 6. built an house for the desolate, given you comfortable relations, which are springs of daily comfort and refreshment to you, you are upon many accounts engaged to walk answerably to these gracious Providences. And that you may understand wherein that decorum and agreeable comportment with these Providences consists, take up the sense of your duty in these brief hints.
(1.) Ascribe to God the glory of all those Providential works which yield you comfort. You see a wise, directing, governing Providence, which hath disposed and ordered all things beyond your own projections and designs. The way of man is not in himself, nor is it in him that walketh to direct his own steps, Jer. 10. 23. Not what you projected, but what an higher counsel than yours determined, is come to pass. Good Jacob when God had made him the Father of a Family, admired God in the mercy, Gen. 32. 10. With my staff (said he) I passed over this Jordan, and now I am become two bands. And how doth this mercy humble and melt him? I am not worthy of the least of all the mercJes, and of all the …, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant.
Be exact in discharging the duties of those Relations which so gracious a Providence hath led you into. Abuse not the effects of so much mercy and love to you. The Lord expects praise, where ever you have comfort. This aggravated David's sin, that he should dare to abuse so great love and mercy, as God had shewn him in his Family Relations, 2. Sam. 12. 7, 8, 9.
Improve Relations to the end Providence designed them. Walk together as Co-heirs of the grace of life: study to be mutual blessings to each other: so walk in your Relations, that the parting day may be sweet. Death will shortly break up the Family; and then nothing but the sense of duty discharged, or the neglects pardoned, will give comfort.