A Pastors Legacy to His Beloved People, Sermons 11,12
The XI. and XII. SERMONS. To Domestical Relations.
ONe of the greatest things that trouble me now in my departure, in reference to the performance of my duty, is, that I have no more prest upon you, Relative duties; but I was very busie to lay a good foundation, of true Regeneration; without which, I could expect no acceptable fruits of Holiness.
Let me therefore beseech you, out of love to me, as well as to your selves, seriously remember the duties to be spoken this day.
First to Inferiours.
First, The more wise and holy thou art, the more thou wilt delight in subjection and obedience: The more foolish and ungodly, the more in self-will and rebellion.
How little wisdom is there in the world? Did a man regard his Temporal or Eternal account, he would rejoyce in being under authority. Which brings,
1. Direction, instead of doubts.
2. Ease, instead of care. And,
3. Usually, innocence instead of guilt.
The less we have to exercise, the less account we have to make.
But nature will be high like God, though as unholy as Satan.
But God has made superiours for the tryal of Obedience, as Temptations for the the tryal of our Faith, Luk. 2.51. Our Lord Jesus Christ, delighted in subjection, not only to God his Father, but to Mary his Mother, yea, even to Joseph his supposed Father, Ephes. 5.1. Christians should delight in subjection.
The same excellency is exprest, 1 Pet. 5.5. 2 Pet. 2.10. High characters of an evil spirit, are presumptuous, self-willed, and such as despise Government.
Secondly, Be wise, if God hath set over thee wicked or foolish Governors; One of the greatest tryals in the world.
Obedience is excellent; but Subjection to fools, or mad, or wicked, is exceeding hard.
In such cases therefore,
1. Humble thy self daily before God.
It's a great judgement of chastisement from God, and thou art in a case where God requires confession, and humiliation from thee.
As thy misery is every day, so let thy confessions and acknowledgements be: God loves to have his applications work.
Daily kiss the Rod: God layes such afflictions on purpose, as he did on the Israelites in the Wilderness, Deut. 8.2, 3. To humble and prove them, to see what patience and obedience they had.
It's good counsel in this case, 1 Pet. 5.6. Humble your selves, that God may exalt you in due time.
Murmur not against God's Providence, but love the kindness and wisdom, which sent thee this affliction.
2. Follow not their sinful or foolish courses, or commands; Not sinful: We must obey God, rather then men. When Christs Mother medled out of her place, he refused to obey her, John 2.4.
If thy Superiour commands thee to lye, steal, break the Sabbath, neglect saving, and necessary Ordinances, or do unjustly: Do them not; shew him a place of Scripture, where God hath commanded otherwise.
Inferiour, Be not drunk, wicked, or filthy, because thy Superiour is so; follow thy Superiour, only as he follows God.
Not foolish; Foolish commands, if not forbidden, yet, if in circumstances they are mischievous, or scandalous, if they be evidently unbecoming Humanity, or Christianity, or mispending of our precious time, and talents, we are not to obey them.
Become not a fool, or scorn, only to please the Superiours lust.
3. Be very zealous to reverence their persons, and obey all their lawful commands.
The Governours wickedness, discharges not thee from thy duty, though it may in some degrees, which thou might'st owe to a better.
May be, thou art not so much to reverence, so much to love him; but thou must not do any thing to his disparagement, or detriment, which thou canst avoid.
Give him the utmost due which thou caust, without countenancing, or encouraging his sin and folly.
It's hard to steer thy course here aright: but thou must learn to give drunken, unclean Governours their due, and yet not partake of their sins.
In the fifth Commandment, thou art to honour Father and Mother, whether they be good or bad, Acts 23.3, 4, 5. Saint Paul acknowledges his offence, in speaking disgraceful truth of the high Priest, a Governour.
4. Watch over thy heart that thou judgest not amiss of Superiours commands, through a contrariety of spirit and temper; Corruption delights to wear a religious Cloak, as you may read, 1 Pet. 2.6.
Add not accusation to rebellion; Suspect thy heart is disobedient, rather then the command ungodly: Father not thy lust on God, the Spirit or Scripture.
5. Labour by any means to convince Superiours of the integrity of thy spirit, when to art forced to refuse countenance and obedience, to their way or command.
By how much the more backward thou art in unlawful things, be so much the more forward in those that are lawful; that they may see thee upright in all things.
Thirdly. Wives, behave your selves well.
1. Love Christianly; See, your pattern is the Church, and your union, though not a Sacrament, is yet Sacramental, Ephes. 5. from 22. to last.
It's not enough for you to do outward duties.
It's not enough to love a Husband as a dear Friend.
But all must be done in Christian Representation, to shew the union 'twixt Christ and his Church; and to this end thou must love.
1. Ʋnitedly, Love him as one with thine own Soul, Ephes. 5.31. The Married two, are one.
If his qualities would make thee loath him, think not of them.
Let Gods good pleasure, which has united thee, please thee, if there be nothing else can do it.
2. Faithfully; He must be the covering of thine eyes, Gen. 20.16.
Thou must keep the Covenant of thy God, Prov. 2.17. In Covenant, thou tookst thy Husband to thee morally; as thou dost Christ by Faith, Spiritually.
Not only Adulterers in act, God will judge, but all allowed thoughts of such sins, is the act before God.
Yea, it's thy duty to avoid the thoughts of any other persons perfections, if it begin to make thy Husband base in thy eyes.
Think not what Husbands others have, thereby to slight thine own: If thou art willing to have low thoughts of him, thou art unfaithful to him.
3. Spiritually, Thou canst not love his person, unless thou love his soul: Thou art to save his Soul if possibly thou canst, 1 Pet. 3.1, 2.
Wives, do you indeed care for your Husbands Souls? Are you indeed loth to do any thing, that may drive them farther to Hell? Are you indeed willing to any thing may bring them nearer to Heaven?
Blessed are those Wives, that labour to make their Husbands eternally blessed.
4. Ardently, not a little coldly, but as the apple of thine eye, as the blood of thy heart; for so the Church doth Christ.
I confess, according to excellency, so (naturally) will thy love be; but it's thy duty however, to labour for a high degree.
Thou hast no less pattern, than the love of souls to their dearest God.
2. Please earnestly, 1 Cor. 7.34. The Married Woman, must care to please her Husband; thus she should do always, it is her duty; so ought she to attire her self, behave her self, express her self, and especially, so to conform to his will, and obey his pleasure, as may render her most acceptable in his sight.
Ephes. 5.24. Therefore, as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let Wives be to their own Husbands in every thing. The same is exprest, Tit. 2.5. This is fit in the Lord, Col. 3.18. And as by obedience, so by reverence, is the Wife to please the Husband, Ephes. 5.33.
Women are to overcome their Husbands hearts, by beautiful, reverent, and chast conversation, 1 Pet. 3.1, 2, 3.
How few make this their care?
How many, more love to cross, and vex, then to please and delight? How would such a study win upon mens hearts?
3. Bear patiently: Womens Ornament, is a meek and quiet Spirit; and the excellency of that is, to bear patiently, 1 Pet. 3.4, 5.
And this the Church doth to Christ, Heb. 12.8, 9.
Wool will break a flint, when Iron cannot; patience conquers a hard heart, when contention cannot.
4. Help diligently: The end of the womans Creation, was to help the man, Gen. 2.18.
Prov. 31.12. She must do him good, and not hurt, all the dayes of his life.
Wives must not hinder, and consume their Husbands Estates, by prodigality, idleness, carelesness; but encrease it, by diligence in their Callings, and providence in their Families.
The wife must help him by her prayers; Prayers are mighty helps, 2 Cor. 1.11. And by her Counsel, as Manoahs wife did him, Judg. 13.23.
She must help him, by covering, not divulging his infirmities; a multitude of which, love will cover, 1 Pet. 4.8.
4. Fourthly, Children, do your duty.
1. Reverence Divinely.
Your Original, is from your Parents next to God, and to them (next to him) should your service be.
Love, (as water) should ascend, according as it has descended.
Your honour is set down, as the prototype of all inferiour respects in the Fifth Commandement.
As God chuses to be a Husband for Love, so a Father for Honour, Mal. 1.6. Your Parents should be honoured in similitude as God, and God as your Parents.
2. Love naturally; they are your first selves, and therefore to be beloved even before your selves.
Relations in a direct line, are all as one, Prov. 17.6. And therefore to be loved with a self-love.
Love ascending in a direct line, to God, Parents and Country, is so sacred, that its called Piety; because a duty, and to objects so sacred.
3. Obey absolutely, Col. 3.20. Children are to obey in all things, that is in the Lord, Ephes. 6.1. In all things as unto God, in nothing contrary to him.
4. Requite zealously, 1 Tim. 5.4. Children are commanded to requite their Parents, (in the Original, to do the same things to them, which they have received of them) to the utmost of their power. To withdraw from Parents, even for the worship of God, was one of the Pharisees most abominable faults, Mark 9.9, to 13.
5. Fifthly, Servants, do your duty.
1. Conscienciously; obey your Governours commands, for so has God commanded, Eph. 6.5. Tit. 2.9.
2. Be faithful to your Governours benefit.
You must study, so to do Commands, lay out your time, contrive and order things, as may be best for their advantage, Ephes. 6.5, 6, 7, 8.
Observe the Emphatical phrases, In singleness of heart, as unto Christ, not with eye service, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; with good will, doing service as to the Lord, and not to man.
Tit. 2.10. Servants must not purloin, but shew all good fidelity.
Gen. 24.12. Servants are to pray for their Masters: And vers. 33. To deny themselves for them.
3. Respect them highly: If he be a Master, he must have fear and reverence, Mal. 1.6.
1 Tim. 6.1, 2. Masters must be esteemed worthy of all honour, even the most perverse, 1 Pet. 2.18, 19, 20.
Luke 17. from 7, to 10. Servants must labour, and give great respect too, while their Masters sit in ease and delight.
And not to murmur at the dispensations of providence. For servants labours are easier to their Masters, then Masters accounts are like to …e to God.
To Superiours.
First, Superiour, remember the account that thou must give, and the grace which thou maist act.
What infinite good may Dominion and Authority do?
Government is a high talent, and diligently to be improved for God.
All Governours are Shepherds, and are oft so called, and God will require his Flock at their hands. Government is a Stewardship, and we are sure to give an account of it, Luke 16.2.
Remember the tribute chou art to pay, as well as the pleasure thou receivest in Government.
Secondly, Loath Tyranny, but keep up Gravity; Rule by Scripture, reason, and affection.
Rule as God doth; seeing thou rulest in his stead.
Rule not furiously and madly, as Rehoboam would the Israelites, 1 King. 12.14.
Rule not foolishly and weakly, as David did Abdonijah, 1 Kings 1.6. but rule as God, Hos. 11.4. with the cords of a man, with the bonds of love: Use not severity, while affection, reason, or Scripture can prevail.
Rule not as an Executioner, but an Orator; not by force of iron, but by truth; but ever maintain the dignity of the place wherein, and the person for whom, thou rulest.
Thirdly, Rule for God, if thou expectest any blessing from God.
God hath made all things for himself, Prov. 16.4.
We are to do all things for God's glory, 1 Cor. 10.31.
All Government is for God, 2 Chron. 19.6.
Therefore say as Josua, Chap. 24.15. As for me and my houshold, we will serve the Lord.
Or as David, Psal. 101.2, 3. I will in my house behave my self wisely in a perfect way; Oh, when wilt thou come unto me!
All Governours are to encourage the good, and discourage the bad, 1 Pet. 2.14. and Psal. 101.6, 7. My eyes shall be for the faithful, and my face against the wicked.
If thou rulest not thus, expect no blessing, Prov. 3.33. the curse of the Lord is in the house of the wicked, but he blesseth the habitation of the just.
Fourthly, Labour to infuse the fear of the Lord into inferiors, if thou wouldst receive any true respect unto thy self.
One of the great woes in this Nation, is the wickedness of Servants, and the hypocrifie of professing Inferiors, which shames all Religion.
And in truth, there can be no assurance to thee where there is no Conscience to God.
Thus therefore Abraham laboured to make his Family religious, Gen. 18.19. he commanded his children, and his servants, that they should keep the fear of the Lord.
To instruct thy Family in Religion, is the eminent command of God, Deut. 6. from 6. to 9.
If God be despised, shall not man?
Fifthly, Husbands do your duty.
First, Love Christianity.
The mystical representation requires this of the Husband, more than the Wise.
Ephes. 5.25. Husbands must love as Christ; Now Christ loves more than the Church: And therefore love,
1. Ʋnitedly, The Wife hath not her love, unless she hath self-love, Eph. 5.28.
The Husband is to love her as his own body, ver. 33. as himself; for so Christ did the Church.
How little do those perform this Command, that wish, of all creatures, their Wives were farthest off?
Who feel indeed the burthen of union, but nothing else.
2. Faithfully, The want of this is bitterly complained against, Mal. 2.4.
All willing turnings aside (even in thought) to another, is adultery.
The jealous God hates adultery.
3. Spiritually, Its proper for Husbands to teach their Wives in Religion, 1 Cor. 14.35.
If thou hast a care of thine own soul, thou must needs then have of hers; she is thy self.
If Christ gave his life for his Church, so must thou to save thy Wives soul in thy capacity.
4. Ardently, Surely they do so, who according to Scripture-rule, and Christs example, love them as themselves; lay down their lives, and leave all for them.
How little is there of this love in the world, when of all persons, Wives are frequently the most hated?
Secondly, Direct carefully, Ephes. 5.23. The Husband is the head of the Wife, therefore to take care how to direct and command her.
1 Pet. 3.7. They are to dwell with them according to knowledge.
How wretched is that state, when there is no care or ability for this in Husbands?
Husbands are carefully to direct their Wives to the best ends; and the best means unto those ends.
Thirdly, Bear pittyingly, 1 Pet. 3 7. Husbands are to give them all honour, as to the weaker vessel; to deal gently with them, to consider their weaknesses, and to allow for it, as we use to do to sick or distracted persons.
Col. 3.19. They are not to be bitter against them.
Oh the excellency of Scripture! which meets with the most usual sins, and enjoyns the most necessary duties.
Fourthly, Provide affectionately, as you do for your own bodies.
Ephes. 5.29. for so Christ nourisheth and cherisheth his Church.
How wretchedly do many Husbands, who take no more care of Wives then of Dogs? Nay, not so much.
How many grudg them every thing but sorrow?
Sixthly, Parents, do your duty. Oh that they would! then would the world be happy, then would the Church and the Kingdom of Heaven be filled.
By ill education, next Original corruption, doth the world become a Hell. But,
1. Educate Religiously, Ephes. 6.4. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Nurse their souls with Religion, as their bodies with food.
Pray for them, and with them.
Catechize them; teach them to read and hear; teach them, as thou sittest by the fire, by the walls of thy house, as thou liest down, and rifest up, Deut. 4.9, 10.
For the Lords sake, and your souls sake, and the souls of your Children, lead them not the way to Hell, but Heaven.
2. Rule prudently, Ephes. 6. the beginning of the 4. Verse, Provoke them not to wrath.
Give correction only when 'tis necessary; and never be out-braved with children when it comes to a contest, Prov. 13.24. Prov. 22.15. Prov. 23.14.
That thou maist rule prudently, take these Directions.
1. Begin education early.
2. Keep thy child well employed.
3. Keep him from bad company.
4. Be ever dropping into him reason, religion, and thy affection.
5. Lay no intolerable burden upon him.
6. Wink at small faults.
7. Ever labour to convince, before thou strikest.
8. Never cease convincing, or correcting, till thou hast subdued his spirit, if he contends with thee.
9. Never chide, or correct, without, or above due desert.
10. Be just in all thy words and acts towards him.
11. Be sure to give a good example.
3. Provide comfortably, and that in all respects; Especially, Callings, Matches, Portions.
Callings. An idle man is an out-law from Gods Kingdom.
Bring him up in a Calling, or thou wilt not do it in the admonition of the Lord.
Every one by the fourth Commandment, must have something to do for six days in the week, beside to worship God.
Matches, 1 Cor. 7.38. the Father is to dispose of the Virgin (as that place is generally interpreted:) and herein take the most curious care, next the salvation of thy Soul.
Portions, 2 Cor. 12.14. Parents are to lay up for their Children.
1 Tim. 5.8. He's worse than an infidel, that doth not provide for them of his own house.
How many idle, and drunken infidels there are in the world?
7thly. Lastly, Masters, do your duty.
1. Love your servants.
Consider, 1 Tim. 5.8. whoever is of thy house, thou must take care for them.
Shew this in the care, both of their souls and bodies.
Of their souls. Servants use to partake of their Masters Religion.
Abraham circumcised all the Males of his houshold, Gen. 17.27.
And in the New Testament, men and their houshould were baptized together
All the houshold eat the passeover together.
And so their bodies. Servants are next to kindred.
Eliezer was to have been Abrahams heir, if he had had none of his own loyns.
2. Use them as you would be used, if you were in their case.
Ephes. 6.9. You are to be as faithful to Servants, as Servants are to be to you, doing the same thing to them.
Col. 4.1. As you would have God use you, do you use them.
Give them such comfortable food, wages, lodging, cloaths, as you can with reason wish to your selves in their case; and lay no intollerable burden or correction on them
Use their time and strength, but leave them health for body, and time for soul; and comfort in both.
I charge Husbands and Wives, Parents and Children, Masters and Servants, to lay these duties home unto their Consciences, and give them authority over their lives; as they desire to appear and meet me with comfort at the great day of recompences from the Lord.