Further Narrative of the Gospel Amongst the Indians in New England, Confessions 1

Further Narrative of the Gospel Amongst the Indians in New England · Confessions 1

p. 3An Abbreviate of the Confessions of some of the Indians, which they made before the Elders of Roxbury, (sundry Christian people being present, both men and women) the 15^th day of the second MonethMonth, 1659. preparatory, in order to their admission into the Church.

Nisho…kou.

OH God of Grace and Salvation, help mee by thy spirit to confesse truth and grace, in the presence of God.

1 I confesse, that I have now learned out of Gen. 5. 1. that God made man in the Image of God, and Adam lived 130 years, and begot a Son in his own Image, ver. 3. which then was not the Image of God, but by reason of the fall, was the Image of Satan; and that Image of Satan hee did communicate to us, so that wee are all born in sin, and so I lived.

After wee pray'd to God about three years, my heart was not yet right, but I desired to run wilde, as also sundry others did. Then I understood, that the Lord did make heaven, earth, sea, and all creatures, and also p. 4man, and therefore I understood that God made mee. Yet I being young, I was still vain, and ran about; and I liked to do acts of youth and vanity, and lust, as others did. And I went to Pawwauing among others, and these things I loved throughly, and they grew in my heart, and had nourishment there, and especially lust; if I cut my hair, it was with respect to lust, to please women; if I had long hair, it was with respect to lust, and all I did was with respect to lust and women; when there was meetings, drinkings, sports, they respected lust, and these things I perfectly loved. When the Minister came to teach us, hee taught, and I came to meeting; but I came to look upon women, I understood not what hee taught; sometimes I came, and understood nothing at all, only I look't on women. About two years after, I began to understand what the Minister preached: I understood that Scripture Iam. 1. Hee that doubteth is like a wave of the sea, driven of the windes and tossed; and if any man lack wisedom, let him ask it of God. This I understood, yet I only understood it, but it was very hard to believe. Afterward, I heard out of Gen. 6. that God spoke concerning man, I will destroy man whom I have made, because God saw that the way of man was corrupt before him; and this troubled mee. And again, in the same Chapter it is said, That God saw that the iniquity of man was great upon the earth, and that every imagination of the thought of his heart is only evil continually; this troubled mee, for I saw the roots of sin in my heart: yet it was hard to believe. Again, in that 6. of Gen. God rebuked that sin in man, which was my sin, and then my heart was troubled. Sometime my heart said, it is better to p. 5run wilde as I did before, then to pray to God; for if now I sin, or commit lust, I shall be punished, or put in prison; but if I run wilde, I have liberty to sin without danger: but I was ashamed of such thoughts, and repented; but yet I doubted.

After half a year I heard the Minister preach this; That Christ his death is of infinite value, but our death is little worth; God is satisfied with the death of Christ, and promiseth to pardon our sins for Christ his sake, if wee believe in Christ: wee deserve to die, but Christ standeth in our stead, and dyeth for us, and so saveth us from death. Next time the Minister came, hee asked, what I remembred of this I now spoke of: and I did remember it, and do remember it to this day; and I desire to pray to God as long as I live. I believe Christ dyed for sinners, but I doubted concerning my self. Then I heard this promise; If you repent and believe, you shall have pardon and be saved: and therefore sometime I believe, and sometimes I doubt again. Afterward, I had temptation to drinking, and to vain courses, nigh half a year; yet when Sabbath came, my heart would turn to God; when the Soldiers came upon us on the Sabbath, while wee were at meeting, and made us bring our guns hither: then my heart said, Sure God hath not said, Keep the Sabbath day holy; and then my heart cast off God, yet it was only in my heart. When wee came to the Magistrates, and Cutshamoquin asked, Why they came on the Sabbath day? my heart was troubled, and I did believe, when wee went from the Magistrates. I was thirsty, and I drank a great deal; and I was drunk, and was carried before the Magistrates, and then I was ashamed. Then I came to the p. 6Ministers house, and I was greatly ashamed; and my heart said, Sure I have now cast off praying to God; but I repented and cryed to God, Oh God, pardon all my sins, and this my sin; for my sins are great. I had other temptations to drinking, and I found my heart weak, and doubting, but my heart was troubled, and I was ready to stumble like a little weak childe.

After this, I heard that word of God, Mat. 12. Do yee not remember what David did on the Sabbath day, and was blamelesse? Then I thought the Souldiers did not sin; but then I saw that I was a great sinner, and that I had broken the Sabbath.

Again, I heard that word, Mat. 3. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewen down and cast into the fire: and this troubled mee, because I had evil fruits.

Again, Mat. 6. Christ saith, Be ye not like hypocrites, which seem to pray before men. I thought this was my case, I did only pray before men, but I doubted of Christ and his Grace.

Again, Mat. 5. Who ever breaks the least of Gods Commandements, and teach men so to do, shall be least in the Kingdom of heaven. Then I was troubled, because I had been an active sinner, in lust, and other sins, and I was worse then a beast in my sins. Then I cryed to God, Oh Christ pardon all my great sins, Oh Christ have mercy on mee, Oh God remember mee, to pardon all my sins. Thus I cryed and desired pardon, but I was weak in believing. But then, about two years after, I was greatly troubled about my weakness: I desired to do well, but I was weak: Then I cryed to God, Oh God help mee by thy spirit in mee, and send thy p. 7spirit into my heart. Sometimes I read and taught on the Sabbath day, but weakly. Then I heard, Mat. 23. Christ bid the people do what the Scribes and Pharisees said, but not do as they do. I said (Lord) that is my case; I teach better then I do: and therefore I desired repentance for my sin, and to forsake my sin. Then Mat. 7. Christ saith, Thou hypocrite, first cast the beam out of thy own eye, and then thou mayst see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brothers eye. My heart said, Truly it is so; I teach others, but I do not well my self; I reprove sin, and yet I do it. Then was my heart weary, and I desired again to do well, and amend, but I found my self very weak. Sometime my heart hated praying to God, and meeting on the Sabbath dayes; and therefore I see I deserve hell torments: and then I cryed, Oh Christ pardon all these my sins. Then afterward my heart desired strongly to pray unto God, but I saw I deserved misery and punishment, and I was weak. Then I desired my heart might be made strong by Church-covenant, Baptism, and the Lords Supper, which might be as a Fort to keep me from enemies, as a Fort keepeth us from our outward enemies. Yet my heart was sometime backward, and said, No matter, do it not, but still do what thy heart would have thee. And I saw Satan did thus follow mee with these temptations to misbelief and doubting. But now I see Satan tempteth mee, because hee desireth I should be ever tormented with him. Then I learned that in Iohn 6. I am the true bread, and hee that eateth mee shall live for ever, and hee that drinketh my blood shall have life; but hee that doth not eat my flesh and drink my blood shall not have life. Then my heart saith, Truth Lord, that is p. 8my case. Again I learnt, Iohn 3. Hee that believeth shall not perish, but have eternal life: And my heart said, Yea Lord, let it be so.

Again, Mat. 16. Christ saith, Thou art Peter a Rock, and on this Rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it: Therefore my heart said, I desire this; because Christ dwells in the Church, and is in the midst of them▪ where two or three are met together in my name. Oh! I do therefore desire Church Ordinances, that I might be with Christ, and that I might have the Seals. Mat. 3. Christ sayes, Let it be: for it is necessary that I should fulfill all righteousness: My heart said, Oh that I might also so do O Lord, now my heart desireth and thirsteth; Oh God have mercy on mee and pity my weakness, that I may have pardon in Christ, and strength from Christ in all his Ordinances, and that I might leave all my sins; and Oh God pardon all my sins for thy mercies sake; I know not what to do I am so weak, Oh God help, and have mercy on mee. And the same I desire of you, before whom I am in this house, help mee; for Mat. 16. whom yee binde on earth are bound in heaven, and whom yee loose on earth are loosed in heaven: and my desire is, that Christ would pardon all my sins, and that I may be helped.

Elder Heath propounded this Question, which hee answered in broken English.

Question. Whether doth Satan still tempt you with former lusts and temptations? and what do you when you are tempted?

p. 9Answer to the first part. Yes, alwaies to this day. To the second part: When Devil comes, I sometime too much believe him, but sometime I remember to do Gods Word, because Gods Word is all one a sword, and breaks the Devils temptations.

Deacon Park propounded this Question. What is it in sin, why hee hateth it now more then before?

Answ. his answer in broken English. I did love sin, but now not all one so, because I hear Gods Word, and that shewes mee, that which I loved is evil, and will bring mee to hell, therefore I love it not now.

Deacon Park urged, Doth hee hate sin because it is against God?

Answ. That chiefly.

Anthony.

FIrst, I make confession in the presence of God, and of all these Elders: and this I confesse, that I am not able to speak before the Lord, yet I do it according as God requireth I should. Assuredly I am a sinner, but now I hope Christ hath taught mee his Word; Oh let him (my Lord!) help mee to speak it.

I confesse, that in my mothers belly I was defiled in sin: my father and mother prayed to many gods, and I heard them when they did so; and I did so too, because my parents did so: and in my childhood, (afore I could act sin) I did delight in it, as dancing and Pawwaug: and when they did so, they prayed to many gods, as Beasts, Birds, Earth, Sea, Trees, &c. After I was born, I did all such things. I loved lust when I was p. 10a youth, though I did act these lusts but a little. But when I had a little begun, my heart did very much desire more to do such sins: I saw the English keep Sabbath; I cared not, but played, and catch't birds, or any thing: yet when I saw Englishmen, I ran away, on the Sabbath day, because they should not see mee. As yet I knew not of great sins, as Murder, Adultery: then some Indians said we must pray to God. When I was in English houses, I saw them pray, and I thought it a vain work. They said there was but one God; I thought, nay, there be many Gods. When Indians said, Wee will pray, my heart said, No; I will not so long as I live. Yet I heard more and more of praying to God, and that my brothers prayed to God; but my heart said, Praying to God is vain. After I heard Waban did pray, and my brothers, Wompo…as, and Toteswo…mp; yet my heart said, No: I am well enough. I have not so sinned as other men, I am no Murderer, Adulterer, &c. Then I ran away; yet I was not much troubled, because my brothers prayed. A little after I came, and my brother said to mee; I pray you pray to God. I answered him not, but my heart said, No: yet I was troubled, because I heard my brothers. I thought, if any should kill my brothers, I would kill him: if any Warrs were, I would go with my brothers; only I thought of my love to my brothers: and then that, if my brother make Warr, I would go with him, to kill men▪ Now he prayes, shall not I go with my broth… … my brothers love me, and they both pray to God, … should not I? They prayed morning and … they eat, and on Sabbath dayes, then I thought I would do so: but p. 11it was not for love of God, or fear of God, but because I loved my brothers. Again, when I came to Noonantam▪ I heard the Minister preach, and I desired to hear what he … taught, but I understood not, …, because I understood stood … to hear, I heard some youths … Roxbury. My brother said to me. Go you, because you may learn Smithery: For that reason I did go, but desired not to learn to pray: all these things were vain. When we came to Roxbury, I said, I desired to learn Smithery: But my Master said, I may not teach him my Trade, lest Indians learn to make Locks and Guns. Then I would not dwell with him, and thought to cast off praying, and thought I would forsake my brothers. My brother perswaded mee to dwell one year there, but I would not: yet at last I did dwell there one year, and went to meeting, but in vain, for I understood not one word. After that year, I returned to Noonantam, and then I heard that God made all the world, but yet I did not pray to God one jot, but still sinned, and especially the sin of Lust, & I made light of any sin. I heard, and understood the Commands of God, Thou shalt not murder, commit adultery, steal, bear false witness, covet; and that made me afraid to commit sin afore man, lest I should be punished or put to death, but I feared not God. After I heard the Minister ask, Who made you? A. God: and Who redeemed you? A. Christ: and Who must sanctifie you? The holy Ghost, and that God made Heaven, Earth, Sea, &c. then I a little considered of God, who made all this world, and then I was afraid. I saw that no man could make these things, and that therefore we p. 12must pray to God, Then my heart said, Assuredly it is so; God made all things, and made mee, and I must pray to him: After this, my brothers were sick, and I prayed God, Oh that they may live! and then I heard, that now God tryeth mee whether I will pray or no. I confesse I have done many sins, especially lust, though I had not been a Murderer, or the like. But then my brothers and kindred dyed: then my heart said, Sure it's a vain thing to pray to God; for I prayed, yet my friends dye… therefore I will run wilde, and did cast off praying, I did not pray morning and night, and at meat, only on the Sabbath day I came to meeting, but I cared not for hearing, nor did I believe any thing I heard, but I still lived in sin, and my heart said, I will run away; for here we are hindred from sin, in other places I may freely sin. Then my brothers which lived were troubled for mee. Then I said I will abide with my brothers, because I love them, but not because I would pray.

Then that Winter God broke my head; I knew but little, I was almost dead: Then my heart said, Now I know God is angry with mee for my sins, and hath therefore smote mee; then I prayed hard, when I was almost dead. I remembred my sins much, and considered them much: I remembred that God made all the world, and therefore assuredly there is a God. I heard that God made Adam, and made him in his own image, Gen. 1. and assuredly none but God could make all the world, heaven, earth, sea, &c. then I did believe that God did make the world.

Again, I confesse, I saw that I had offended against God, and sinn'd against him, and that I had the root of p. 13sin in me, and that I had deserved all miseries, and death, and hell. I heard, that God made a Covenant with Adam, and forbad him to eat of the Tree in the midst of the Garden; and yet he did eat, and therefore God was angry with man: and I was born in sin, and therefore God was angry with me: and because I have sometime forsaken God, and run wilde, therefore I now know my sin and my offence against God. I desire no more to cast off God and prayer, for now I know my sins, and that I have deserved misery: therefore now I desired to pray to God, as long as I live. I desired pardon of my sins, and I thought it may be God will pardon mee: and my heart prayed to God, Oh God if thou give mee life again, I will assuredly believe and obey; and now I know my sins by the sin of Adam: but when I had thus done, quickly my heart would be vain again. After my wound, when I came to my self and awaked, I saw my sin, and promised God to pray unto him, when I saw the mercy of God was so great unto mee: I heard that word, Say not, I will pray hereafter, but now, Today if yee will hear his voice, harden not your hearts, but pray to God; and that made my heart to yield to do it. Then I understood, Gen. 2. that God formed man out of the dust of the earth, and breathed into him a living soul: by this I did believe that God made me. And I heard that God caused Adam to sleep, and took out a rib, and made it a woman: and by this I believed, that surely this is the work of God. Again I heard, that wee are born in sin, under the guilt of Adams sin: and by that I believed that I was a sinner. Again I heard, Gen. 6. that all the thoughts and imaginations of the heart of man, are only evil continually; and that p. 14God did threaten to destroy man whom hee had made, and all beasts and living creatures which hee had made: and by this I saw, that surely sin is a very great evil.

Again I heard, that Noah found grace, and hee onelyonly was upright before God, and that God drowned all the world, except Noah, and his sons, and their wives, eight persons: this did make mee remember my sinnes, and confesse them, and I saw that God is angry with sin. It rained forty dayes, and so drowned all the world: then I said, Surely this is Gods work, and hee doth as he threatned to do to sinners; and the same may God do to me, who am a sinner; and my heart is full of sin, and evil thoughts, &c. And then I prayed, Oh God be not angry with mee, but be mercifull to mee, and shew mee what I should do. Then I considered why did God bid Noah make an Ark, and saved Noah and his Sons, and their Wives: and by it my heart saw, that this is Gods work, who does what hee speaketh, and hath mercy on whom hee will. And my heart thought, does God pardon mee, and love mee? It may be God will have mercy on mee. I heard that promise, Mat. 3. Repent and believe, for the Kingdom of heaven is at hand: then my heart said, Oh that God would help mee, and pardon my sins. And God made mee wonder at Gods mercy to mee. I heard of Sodom, and their great sin, and destruction, and that did make me to remember my great sins, and the great work of God that hee had almost kill'd mee; Oh, I thought this is Gods work, to shew mee my sinnes: and as God saved Lot by the Angels, and sent him out of the place, but burnt Sodom and all the people, this I saw to be Gods work, & now I desired to fear God and pray unto him all the dayes of my life.

p. 15Again I heard, Mat. 3. The axe is laid to the root of the tree, every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewen down, and cast into the fire: then I feared my own case, because my fruits were sin, and I deserved to be cut down; then I desired to believe in Christ. I did believe that Christ is the Son of God, by that word Matth. 4. Satan tempted Christ, If thou be the Son of God, &c. but Christ conquered Satan; and therefore assuredly hee is the Son of God. Then I considered that place, Mat. 11. Many came to Christ, the halt, and blinde, and lame, and deaf, and sick, and hee healed all, and if they did but touch Christ they were healed; and therefore my heart believed assuredly, hee is the Son of God: and therefore now I will pray, and Oh let Christ save mee. And Christ hath promised, Whatever yee ask in my name, it shall be done: therefore now I prayed, Oh Christ Jesus pardon mee; but my heart is weak and doubting, and I cannot believe. And I heard that word, that every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit, is cut down and cast into the fire: then I said, I deserve that. Again, that word, Not every one that sayeth, Lord, Lord, but hee that heareth the Word, and doeth it. Assuredly it is so; and I desire not only to hear the Word, but to do it: then my heart was ashamed of my sinnes, and grieved. I heard that word, Matth. 6. Blessed art thou Simon bar-Ionah, flesh and blood hath not revealed this unto thee, but my heavenly Father: then my heart said, Yea Lord, no man has taught mee Christ, onelyonly God hath taught my heart to know Christ.

Again, I heard that word, Mat. 1. Hee will save his people from their sins: then my heart said, Be it so to mee, Oh Lord. Again, I heard that Christ rose again p. 16the third day with an Earth-quake; and the Watchmen were afraid, and fled: then my heart said, Surely this is Christ the Son of God; and whosoever believeth in Christ, his soul shall go to heaven: For again, I heard of the Ascension of Christ, and more then five hundred saw him ascend; and therefore I believe this is Christ the Son of God. Again, I heard that in John 14. No man cometh unto the Father, but by mee: my heart answered, Yea assuredly, Oh Lord, Christ is the way, to believe in, and come to God.

Again, I heard that Mat. 25. Christ saith to the wicked, Depart yee cursed: I said, God might justly say so to mee, and send mee to eternal death. But I earnestly cryed to God, Oh God, set mee into the right way, and give mee Christ, that I may ever walk with Christ; for I am poor and weak: and Christ promiseth, that what wee ask hee will grant; and I say, Let God do with mee what hee will: but I beg mercy in Christ, onelyonly I desire to pray to God as long as I live.

Iohn Speen.

THis I confess, that I assuredly am a great sinner before the Lord: but now I beseech God to help mee; Oh Christ, lead mee in the right way, that I may speak that which is right.

This I confesse, that before wee prayed to God, I was wholly a sinner, and not only before, but since praying to God, I have been a great sinner: and now p. 17I desire to make a short confession [for we desired that they would be shorter, the time requiring so]. At first when I prayed, my prayer was vain, and only I prayed with my mouth; and on the Sabbath, only I came to the House of Prayer. I prayed morning and evening, and when I eat, but I considered not what I prayed for; I was sometime angry and passionate about wordly matters; and I was troubled when I saw my brother was chosen to be a Ruler, who was younger then I; because now I saw that I was a sinner; and though I repented, yet presently again I fell into sin: therefore I thought, surely God hath cast me off, because I thus sin; and still my heart was full of sin, all my thoughts were full of sin, all my talk and doings were sinfull.

But now of late, about 2 yeares ago, I heard this word, Mat. 12. When the unclean spirit was cast out, hee went up and down unquiet; then hee returned and took 7 devils with him, worse then himself, and dwelt in that man, and the latter end of that man was worse then his beginning. When I heard this I feared, my heart feared; I feared that my repentance and praying and all was nought, and that God hath almost quite cast me off. Then I considered how I fell into these sins: I remembred that the Serpent did deceive the woman, & she the man, and thereby brought sin; and thereupon God punished both the man and the woman. Hearing this, my heart thought; Surely I am a great sinner, and I was born in sin, because my parents were sinners, and so am I. I have sinned against God, and I was born in sin. My Parents broke that Command, Thou shalt have no other gods but Mee; but they served many gods, and so did I, p. 18and therefore the earth bringeth forth thorns and weeds unto man, when he laboreth: therefore by this I remembred my troublesom life, and all is because God is offended at me, because of my sins. And then I remembred that many of my children are dead; this is Gods punishment on me, because of my sins. Sometime men punished me, and were offended at me, but now I remembred my sins against God, and I saw that the punishments of God are a greater matter. Again, I heard that word, that hee that keepeth his word shall finde mercy. I thought so it is indeed; but I am a sinner. I considered what I should do, because I was a sinner, and born in sin, and have lived in sin. I considered assuredly there is a God, and God made heaven and earth, and all that is therein, and all destructions and deaths are the work of God. I remembred my vain praying to God, and considered what to do▪ I confessed my sins before God, and begged pardon for Christ his sake. I did finde I could not deliver my self, but Christ only is my deliverer; and my heart desired to believe, and pray to him, and yet knew not what to do, nor how to please God, and get pardon; only I prayed, Oh Christ deliver mee, because I am a sinner, and know not what to do.

Then I remembred that God layeth on us two deaths in this world: First, the soul is dead, and wee are made guilty of Adams sin, and have lost Gods Image, and hereby my soul is a fool, and hereby my soul is dead: and a man dead can do nothing, nor speak, nor go, nor stand, and verily so is my soul dead, and I shall fall to eternal damnation by sin. Therefore now I cry to God to help mee, for I am throughly a sinner. p. 19After I heard that God pardoneth penitent believers: and I remember the word of Ionas, when he was almost cast off, he repented, and God made a Whale to eat him up; and then he looked to God, and cryed for mercy; and then I saw that if I cry for mercy, and believe, I shall have pardon. I heard that Christ healed all manner of diseases; therefore I believed that Christ is the Son of God, able to heal and pardon all. Now I confess I know nothing, almost nothing at all. Again, Christ saith, Hee that is not with mee is against mee; my heart said, True it is so, so must I do, I must be with Christ: and, Hee that gathereth not, scattereth; I said, So it is with mee, I have so done; I scatter, and am a stranger to Christ. And I did not truly love them that prayed to God, but I was a stranger in heart unto them. But now I desire in my heart to do as they do; and our poor teaching, I desire to obey it, and do what God bids; and what he saith you shall not do, that I desire not to do: But yet again I do sin, and my sins troubled me by hearing the word of God, and yet I would do them. I heard that God will pardon all kinde of sins, that men sin, but the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be pardoned in this world, nor in that which is to come. Then I fear'd that I was such an one, and that God would not pardon me. Then I earnestly entreated God to pardon and deliver me, because he was the true deliverer. Again, I heard that word, that they that are well need not the Physitian, but the sick. My heart said, True; I did even so, I sought not help when I was well, but now I remember my sins, and now my soul is dead, and now I desire that my soul may live, and I desire the Physitian of my soul to heal p. 20mee; and Christ will not in vain heal souls, but such as convert from sin, and believe in Christ, their sins Christ pardoneth: this my soul doth earnestly beseech of Christ, and else I know not what to do. Again, I heard that Christ dyed for our sins, when we are sinners. Again, Mat. 26. Christ saith, This is my blood of the New Testament, which is shed for many, for the remission of sins: my heart said, Yea (Lord) let it be so for my soul, and let me not be a stranger any more before thee. I know not what to do, Lord help. I desire to be washed from all my filthy sins, and to be baptized, as a sign of it. I am as a dead man in my soul, and desire to live.

Ponampam.

A Little I shall speak. I was young, about 8 years old when my father lived. I did play as other children did, and my father did chide me for playing. I wondered at it, for he said we shall all die. I wondered and sat amazed about half an hour, but I soon forgot it. That Winter the Pox came, and almost all our kindred dyed. I and my mother came to the Bay, and there dwelt till we pray'd to God; but I did nothing but sin, as the rest of the world did. Then hearing the word of God, I heard that from the rising of the sun to the setting thereof, my Name shall be known among the Gentiles: therefore all must pray to God. But my heart did not desire that, but to go away to some other place. But remembring the word of p. 21God, that all shall pray to God. Then I did not desire to go away, but to pray to God. But if I pray afore the Sachems pray, I fear they will kill me, and therefore I will not pray. But yet when others prayed, I prayed with them; and I thought, if I run away to other places, they will pray too, therefore I will pray here. Then on a Sabbath, none taught, and some bid me teach, what the Minister had taught us; but I feared, and durst not for fear of the Sachems, yet they urged me, and I did. And I taught them what I remembred, and they were angry at me, and we fell out, and I went away. I thought that my praying would be in vain, and I laid by praying; and there was Pawwauing, but I doubted to do that, because I had prayed, and I did think they would laugh at me. After I returned again, and was among them which prayed, but my heart did not rightly pray, though I came on the Sabbath day. Then about the time that my Son (who was at School) was born, the Minister taught on 1 Chron. 28. 9. Thou Solomon my son, know the God of thy fathers, &c. if thou seek him, hee will be found of thee; if thou forsake him, hee will cast thee off for ever: Then I feared, for I said, This already I have done, I have cast off God, and therefore he will cast off me; for every such one God will cast off, I know not what to do. It repented me for my sin, I feared Gods wrath and damnation. Then I prayed, and call'd upon God, yet only sometimes I repented, and after I found my heart full of sin again: But then I was angry at my self, and knew not what to do; alwayes I did fear, God hath cast me off, for all my many sins which I have done. Hereby I was troubled and angry at my self. Then I p. 22heard that word, Who ever repent and believe shall be saved, Il'e pardon them: Then my heart cryed, Oh Christ let it be so, that my sins may be pardoned, and that I may pray alwaies. Then I begged, Lord give me repentance and faith, and I did pray to God much. Then I did beg, that I might give up my self, wife, and children to God as long as we live; and then I prayed. Then I heard that word, Mat. 5. Hee that looks on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery in his heart. I then remembred my sins; that though I had promised to pray, yet I had thus sinned, and my heart was now troubled about this. My heart said, Cast off praying, because you are filthy in lust, your heart and eyes still commit adultery; therefore run away from these that pray to God, and go to Qunniticot, or some other place; and if you be in other places, you may do what you will, and my heart almost inclined to this sin: But after that, this merciful word of God I heard, That Satan led Christ into the wilderness to tempt him, and so I thought hee would do me. Then I desired God to be merciful to me; then I turned to God, and cryed, but knew not what to do, for I feared God had cast me off, and I shall perish for ever; God has cast me off, and I have deserved hell fire. Then I heard that word, Joh. 14. 6. None come to the Father but by me: I did pray, Oh Christ let it be so, that by thee I may come to God; and I pray Christ Jesus pardon all my sins, this mercy I beg. Then I repented my casting off praying to God; then I promised I would not return again to sin, and if Christ help me, I and children shall serve God. Then that Spring my mother and two children dyed, and I was troubled, and knew p. 23not what to do; my heart said, Lay by prayer, but that I did not: but I saw Christ came to give eternal life, and therefore what Christ will do for me, so let it be. Therefore I believe only in Christ for eternal life; and what Christ will do with my soul, so let it be; and my soul desireth that I may receive the Seals to make strong my heart.

Piumbuhhou.

ASsuredly, I have nothing that I should confesse as I ought, for my heart is full of foolishness and darkness; stopt up is my heart, and deaf are my ears. I know not by what way I can get life. I was born in sin into this world, and therefore I am in folly, and I know my heart is full of foolishness and ignorance. I am a great sinner ever since I saw light in this world; my foolishness appeareth in every thing I do in this life. I know not what God hath given me, but now I hear of the mercy of God, who hath made the world, and all things in it; by this great work of his I know there is a God, and because my heart checketh mee for sin, and I fear the punishment of God: And the Word of God now sheweth me that there is a God; therefore my heart sayes, I desire to pray to God: and because God is angry with me for all my sins, I know nothing by my self but that which is evil. I heard that word Mat. 5. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Then my heart said, So be it Oh Lord to me, and I love thee as long p. 24as I live. Then said my heart, I am a poor man, and desire to pray to God. Again, God said, Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled. Then when I heard that word, my heart rejoyced; and yet again I doubted, and my heart misbelieved and feared. Then that word came, that Christ saith, Be ye mercifull, as your heavenly father is merciful. And again, Hee maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good; and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. When I heard it, my heart rejoyced to hear of the mercy of God; yet I doubted, and my heart was hard again. Now I confess before God, because God is a great God, and a mercifull God, and I pray to him. I heard of Gods great mercy, to give us his only Son to dye for us; therefore I loved God, and I begged, Oh God pardon all my sins, and I give up my self to Jesus Christ.

Monotunkquanit.

BEfore I prayed to God, I lived at Nipmuk. I did not know that there was a God, only I lived for nothing, for no end or purpose; but I alwaies did wilde actions. I kept no Sabbath, nor Lecture, nor any work of Prayer; nor did I remember my works. I now know that all my words and works are naught, my eyes and ears are stopped, and mad works I dayly did. After I went to Dorchester Indians, the praying Indians; and they that were my friends, did say it was good to pray to God; and said, Tomorrow is our Lecture, p. 25and the Minister cometh to teach us; then my heart desired to see the Minister, and hear what he said: next day he came, and taught the Indians; I went and desired to see: when I came, my son Sam. came with mee; the Minister call'd my son, and set him afore, and asked him, Who made him? and he was taught to answer, God. Then he commended my son, and asked whose son he was; they said, Mine. The Minister gave him two apples: then the Minister said to me, Do you pray to God? you see your childe saith, God made him;[Note here that God hath so blessed this youth, that hee is one of our School-masters, and an hopefull young man.] and therefore it is your duty to pray to God:

Then I considered what he said, I could not sleep that night. I considered whether I should pray to God; my heart did much doubt that night! Shall I pray? my heart said, No; yet I doubted. Then Waban came to my house to Nipmuk, and perswaded me to pray to God; I said, I know not how to pray. Hee said, God will teach you; God is a great God, and made all the world. I answered, Who knoweth that? and who can witness that? He said, The Minister is sent of God, and sheweth us Gods Word, and hee by that teacheth us, Then I promised Waban, that when hee came again I would pray to God. Then Toteswamp came, and exhorted me to pray to God, and told me of Christ, and pardon of sin; and then almost my heart prayed to God. Then I said, English men understand not me, and does God understand me? They said, God made all…, and understands all: then I said, I will pray to God. Then I heard first, p. 26that God made heaven, and earth, and all things, and in six dayes finished them; and also made man in his own Image, wise and holy like God. Then I heard that Satan came and tempted Eve, and cozened her, and she tempted the man. And God had said, Eat not of the tree in the midst of the Garden, if yee eat thereof yee shall dye; yet she did eat, and gave unto man, and he did eat: and thereby he sinned, and all his posterity became sinful, and deserved damnation. Then my heart said, What shall I do? and I prayed for my children, for now I hear of eternal damnation, and sure I am a great sinner. Again, I heard the Minister preach, That Christ was born like a man, and was both God and man, and dyed for us, and sheweth us the way of eternal life. Then I cryed, Oh Lord give me Christ, because Christ hath dyed for us, and hath made his righteousness ours, and our sins are Christs, as Adam made his sin ours. Now my heart was broken, and I saw that I was a great sinner. When I heard of the great works of Christ, I said, Oh what shall I do, that I may get Christ? & I said in my heart, Oh let the holy Spirit help me, for I am ashamed of my sins; melted is my heart, and I desire pardon of all my sins; now I desire to forsake all my sins, and now I desire dayly to quench lusts, and wash off filth, and cast out all my sins, by the blood of Jesus Christ, and this I do by believing in Jesus Christ. Gen. 6. there was only one Noah righteous, and God saved him: then my heart said, Oh mercifull God, who savest them that trust in thee, save mee. Again, God made his Covenant with Abraham, and with all the seed of Abraham: now I desire to have this Covenant, and to receive p. 27this Commandement of Christ. Abraham was strong in faith, and followed Christ; and my heart doth desire to follow Christ, because he hath dyed for us.

Wutásakómpauin.

OH Christ help mee! I confess my sins before God, and before men. We are all born in sin, because Adam sinned, and made his sin ours. Our Parents knew not God, nor the way of life; we Indians are all sinners, and did all sins, afore we heard of God; we did pray to every thing that is in the world, and knew not the way of life. When English men came first, we did pray to the Devil, and many were our sins; and God doth know all our sins, all which we have committed, before the English came. After the English came, I went to Sudbury, to Mr Browns house, and he said to me, Pray to God; but I did not like it, nor to hear of praying to God; but afterwards I heard Waban prayed to God, and I was not glad of it; yet after Waban prayed, he told us of it, and that the Minister came to Noonantam. I heard him, and he taught, that the souls of good men die and go to heaven, the souls of the wicked, when they die, they go to hell; but I only heard it. Then we resolved we would pray to God, and carry our children to Roxbury, that they might learn to pray, but we feared that we should not learn to pray. After the Minister taught that word, that every man himself must pray and believe to be saved; and though your sons be at Roxbury, p. 28and learn to pray, yet if you pray not, you must be damned.

Again, I heard many words of God; this was one, Therefore watch, for ye know not the day, or hour, when the Lord will come: When I heard that, I knew not what to do, nor do I know when is the day of death. But I am full of sin, and when I die Christ will not receive me, because I am so full of sin. After that my wise dyed, and then weak was my heart, almost I left praying to God, but yet I did not so. But after, I heard that word of God, Who ever heareth the word, and doeth it, is like a wise builder, who built on a rock; and when the storms and floods came and beat upon the house, it stood, because it was built upon a rock: But hee that heareth the word, and doth it not, is like a foolish builder, who built upon the sand, and the storms and floods came and beat upon that house, and it fell, because it was built on the sand. By this I saw that I was a foolish builder, because the death of my wife did almost make me leave praying to God. After I had another wife, and shee dyed also: Then I heard that word, That it is Gods love, by afflictions, to call us to repentance; and therefore my heart said, Oh Lord I will pray, Oh Lord help me. Again, I heard another word, that at the end of the world all must appear before the Iudgment Seat of Christ: and therefore now confess all your sins, and repent, because Christ hath writ down all your actions, both good and bad, and all shall be opened; and therefore repent of your sins, that they may be pardoned.

Then I said, I am a great sinner, and ever I commit sin; I confesse I have deserved hell, and I cannot p. 29deliver my self; but I beg of God, Oh Lord give me Christ; and I give my soul to Christ, that all my sins may be pardond, and I now confess my sins before man but at the end of the world I must be judged by Jesus Christ. Now I desire the spirit of God would help me to confess all my sins to God, that they may be pardoned in Jesus Christ.

THese Confessions I wrote in English from their mouthes with the best of my endeavours, both for diligence and also faithfulness; and so soon as they had done, I read them unto the Elders and Brethren and Sisters there present, and that the substance hereof was delivered by them, and faithfully translated and delivered by me (to the lest of my understanding) I do here before the Lord testifie.

JOHN ELIOT.

p. 30I Did understand most things that some of those Indians spake; and though others spake not so well to my understanding, yet many things I understood of what they all spake: and thus much I may testifie, that (according to what I understood) the substance of their Confessions is here truly set down.

JOHN ELIOT, jun.

Waban being sick when the rest made their Confession, after the Lord had restored him, came to Roxbury, and before the Elders made his Confession as followeth.

UNto this day I do understand but little of the English Language; the Word of God came not first unto my heart by the English Language. I did not know what state I was in at my first birth, and my sin by birth I knew not: When I was young I knew not what I was, as now I do know; for now I know that I am a sinful man. Since I prayed to God, I know p. 31more of my self; but afore, I cared not for such things, nor what they said. If I heard any thing, I took no heed to it; if any asked me whether I knew God, I did not regard it; yea, I hated the knowledg of God, nor did I regard any word of God: but other kinde of praying (which we used) I did love; to pray to the Devil, this I loved.

But afterward, I began to think; it may be they say true, that speak of God; it may be it is true, that God is in heaven; and should any teach me in my language, I might know God: but if I should pray, it may be it is in vain to pray in my language; could I speak English, I might learn to pray. And I see the English love us, and therefore it is like, that is true which they say of God, and I desire to live for ever where they do. When I first heard the Word, it said, God is good; a little I believed it, but I did more doubt.

Mr Iackson asked me if I did pray to God: I asked him whether God understood our language, if I prayed to him: Hee said, yea, all things God doth know, and all languages. Then my heart said, It may be I may attain to pray. But my heart was hard, and therefore I could not pray, afterwards it may be I may. Sometime I thought if we did not pray, the English might kill us; but if I prayed, I thought I did not pray right. When I saw, and considered, that all men in the world dyed, I knew not how I might come to live for ever, how my soul might live, and therefore I desired I might pray to God aright; because they that so pray, are all one as if they dyed not, but live for ever. I wish't I could pray aright, p. 32but could not tell how to do it. I did in my heart love wandering about, and our wilde courses alwaies; and when I did pray, it was but out-side praying, for in my heart I understood not right praying to God; I understood not how to pray, and I regarded not my weariness of that which was good, many things hindred my heart; I was ashamed, because my heart was full of evil. Sometimes I thought of my sins, but it was but a little, and I was soon weary of any good. I did not think God was not mercifull, but I saw my heart was naught, and very little did I know the evils of my heart. No humility was in my heart, and to this day my heart is evil, and hard is my heart, When you taught us the Word of God, my heart did not believe, but went contrary to the Word of God. I saw my mourning for sin was not good: I do confess my heart did not submit to God, only I hoped I might might learn the Word of God, which you taught us. My heart did afore love praying to the Devil, but I do not finde that I so love praying to God: therefore I did pray, Lord break my heart, that I may pray to God aright. My heart was weary of praying quickly; and therefore my heart said, Surely my heart is nought, and I am like a dead man: and therefore I prayed, Lord help me now to pray aright to God. Now I knew that God knoweth all the thoughts of my heart, and my many sins, and contrary doings, and how little I know of God. Surely I am a great sinner, and this I do throughly know, that great are my sins, and that my heart is contrary to praying to God, and my heart desired wilde courses, and I see that my heart loveth not praying to God. Yet now my heart began p. 33to desire to pray, and to love those things which are according to right praying; but I knew not what to do. Then I asked what I should do; then I heard this answer, I should desire Christ to break my heart by his spirit, none else in the world could do it; no man could work faith in me, but the Word which I heard doth it. I could not my self repent of sin, or be ashamed; but this I know, that the Word of God saith, Those that believe in Christ shall not perish, but have eternal life: Then my heart said, Oh Lord, let it be so to me, and let not my heart say contrary. Again I heard, If any be foolish, let him ask wisedom of God, who giveth freely: Then my heart said, I am foolish, Oh Lord teach me. Then I feared that my heart in vain seeketh, and then I desired humility, and that I might not pray in vain, and that I might not pray only outwardly. But my heart had contrary and misbelieving thoughts dayly, and my heart did not dayly desire after God, and but a little could I remember of God. Sometime my heart desired not to be like to such as prayed aright unto God; therefore I desired the Image of God upon me, and that I might be like to them w^ch prayed to God aright; alwaies I thought that what God said in his Word was right. I heard this word, The Foxes have holes, and the Birds have nests, but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head: Then my heart said, Truth (Lord) the riches of this world are of no value; and therefore I desire not this worlds goods, but only heavenly blessings and grace, & I desire the way to the Heavenly Kingdom. And always my heart saith, touching my poverty and misery, I give myself and my soul to God and to Christ, because p. 34that is right. Again, I learn in the Catechize, Q. What hath Christ done for us? A. He dyed for us, hee was buried, he rose again for us, and by his resurrection hee raiseth our souls unto grace, and also at the last day: And my heart said, Oh let it be so in me! Again it is said, What else hath Christ done for us? A. He ascended to heaven, to raise our hearts first to heaven, and then to carry us to heaven also, to be with him for ever. My heart saith, Oh God I am not able to save my self, I cannot save my own soul, this is only thy work Oh God, and my heart believeth it; and with God is mercy and goodness, but in this world is nothing but weariness, and I know my weakness; therefore I am ashamed, and Oh let God put grace into my heart; and my heart saith, Oh let me not say in vain that I believe, Oh Lord help that I may truly believe, not by my works, but by thy Word Oh God. Again it is said in Catechism, Why is Christ a Prophet? A. To teach me the way to heaven: therefore my heart desireth that Christ may ever lead me by his Word; and it is only the mercy of Christ that must do this for me, and he giveth me true comfort only by believing in him.