Sacred Therapy, Book 3 · Chapter 21 – Chapter 22
CHAP. XXI.
Concerning the converts despising of his own exercises of religion, because of his felt vanity of mind therein.
ALI true co…verts do agree in this principle, that God should be worshiped in spirit and truth, and that the more a man strive to be sincere and upright in his worship, the lesse can be comport with the sin which doth hinder his worship. When therefore a true convert doth perceive in himself so great levity of his thoughts, that in the very time of hearing Sermon, praying to God▪ or singing of Psalms, his mind runneth out to think of naughty and profane things, impertinent, idle and foolish maters, unworthy of his thoughts at any time, but most untimous and sinfull in the time of divine service, he is so displeased with his condition, that he condemns all the service and devotion he is about for the time, and cast it away as altogether polluted; and if he find this sicknesse from day to day cleaving fast unto him, he falleth in discouragement, and in question with himself, whether it be better to break off at least in secret, such ragged worship, or to go on to offer the sacrifice of a fool unto God: for, so he doth esteem of his devotion, thus leavened, with vaiging and vanity of his mind.
In this case, the convert doth not only mis-regard what is right in his devotion, or divine service, but also by fretting, discouragement and mis-behaviour of his spirit, is ready to augment his sinfull condition, and to provoke the Lord to be wroth with him indeed.
2. For remedy of this evil, let the convert judge wisely of his condition, that he charge not himself with guiltinesse more then he ought to do, and that he may take a right course to be free of guiltinesse, and healed of this sicknesse where guiltinesse is found. And to this end, 1. let him put difference between vaiging of mind with interruption of worship, and the natural course of his phantasie and understanding, which may consist with the continued acts of worship; for, as the eyes of a man, running to some place, cannot choose but see every visible thing in his way, and yet runneth on without staying till he come to the place he aimeth at; So the phantasie and understanding, cannot choose but take up, and discern whatsoever is offered unto them in time of prayer from the outward senses, or from the memory, and yet make no interruption of prayer, such is the natural agility of a mans mind; and therefore this natural course of imagination or phantasie, must not be charged as guiltinesse upon the worshiper, who followeth on the work of worship notwithstanding. 2. Sundry suggestions may be cast into the converts mind by Sathan to marr his worship, which must be charged on Sathan chiefly, and the worshiper not alway made guilty thereby. 3. When the worship indeed is interrupted, and the mind falleth off from the work of devotion, or divine service, and entereth upon discourses about vain, vile, or impertinent maters, let the convert not only acknowledge guiltinesse here, but also examine, if this his vaiging of mind in prayer and divine service, be not also a chastisement from God for his not acknowledging of God in his affairs, and and for loosing reins to his mind to roave all the day, which justly meeteth him at night in his devotion, as a rod on his back for his voluntar vaiging from God in his former walking.
3. These considerations being premised, and the sins which have drawn on this evil being discovered, and the power of indwelling-sin perceived, and the power of Sathans temptations noticed, and the Lords chastiseing rod justified, and his own culpable infirmity acknowledged; 1. Let him humble himself and flye to the rich grace of God offered in Christ, and lay stronger hold on the satisfaction made by Christ, imputed to all believers in him, that guiltinesse may be, by free pardon, removed. 2. Let him pray for more assistance of the holy Spirit in all the exercises of religion, and expect a gracious granting thereof, in Gods wise dispensation, of the measure of his grace in the use of holy Ordinances. 3. Let his heart be in the fear of the Lord all the day long, making him lift up his eyes from time to time to God in the midst of his lawfull affairs, how mean so ever. 4. Let him gather his thoughts before every religious exercise, by way of preparation, lest he take the name of the Lord in vain, by rash and unreverent rushing in upon divine Service. 5. Let him thank the Lord for granting him grace to see his sinfull vaiging of mind, and to be displeased with it, and to confesse it. 6. Let him be comforted in the Lord, who gathereth the ragged and scattered honest desires of supplicants, and taketh away the iniquity of the service of his clients, as our high Priest, bearing, in his appearing for us, as it were, on his fore-head, Holiness unto the Lord.
CHAP. XXII.
Concerning the converts discour agment for felt want of ability to do the duties commanded, whereunto his renewed will is very bent.
SUndry true converts, finding a will to do that which is good, but not finding power how to perform that which is good, do fall in disquietnesse and discouragement when they should go and seek to make good use of their infirmity, and go to Christ for remeed, as the Apostle did, Rom. 7. 18.
The cause of this evil is, the relicts of corrupt natural inclination to seek to be justified by works, and to have in our hand ability to do the good which we would do; for, albeit the convert be forced to seek reconciliation with God by remission of sins in his conversion, yet in his course toward heaven and salvation, he desireth to have a store-house and treasure of strength in himself, to be made use of as he willeth. For, it seemeth to him, in his carnal wisdom, a poor shift to be, in every good action, put to beg supply from Christ by prayer, and to stand waiting on in a dependance on Christ, till furniture come from heaven unto him. Which furniture of strength, because our Lord doth suspend to give, till his infirm and humble child hold up his heart as an empty vessel to receive influence from him, according to his wise pleasure, the inconsider at convert doth trouble himself and falleth in a distemper.
2. This case is not altogether evil as the convert doth take it; but this much is right, that he looks upon the Law as holy, spiritual and good, that he desireth earnestly to obey it, and that he loaths himself for his felt unconformity unto it: Yet, this is wrong in him, that he doth not humble himself, but is cast down and discouraged that he doth not make Christ his sanctifications as well as his righteousnesse, that he doth not consider of the furniture to be brought unto him from heaven by faith in Christ, and that this grace is nearer and more ready to serve his turn, then if it were in his own hand.
3. Therefore let him renounce more and more all confidence in his own righteousnesse, with the Apostle, Phil. 3. 8, 9. let him thank God in Christ, in whom an out-gate is to be found in all difficulties, Rom. 7. 25▪ let him trust Christ for supply in all service, in whom if a man abide, he shall bring forth much fruit, and without whom he can do nothing, Ioh. 15. 5. For, if he depend on Christ in his emptinesse and weaknesse, he shall find by experience, that when he is weakest, then is he strongest.