The Parable of the Great Supper Opened, Sermon 10
SERM. X.
Luke 14.20.
And another ſaid, I have marryed a Wife, and therefore I cannot come.
CHAP. I.
THeſe words contain a third excuſe, which another of the Goſpel refuſers makes: in which we have firſt the allegation of the plea, then the peremptorineſs in urging it. The plea alledged is, I have marryed a wife.] In this (as in the former) the fault is in the abuſe of what is lawful. The marrying of a wife is lawful,Innumeri ſunt, qui prooter uxores, pericrunt, & plurimae uxores, quae propter viros in gehennae ſupplicium detruſae ſunt. Salmer. and very expedient, but the hindring a mans ſelf by it in the way to heaven is very bad. There are many that periſh becauſe of their wives, and many wives are thruſt into hell becauſe of their husbands, they keeping one another back from good, or provoking one another unto evil by their words and actions contrary to the power of godlineſs. Hence I note,
Sect. 1.
Obſerv. There be thoſe who are hindered by their marriage from the true receiving of the Goſpel-meſſage: or they hinder themſelves in their marriage, Luke 17.27. It is ſaid of thoſe in the old world, They are, they drank, they marryed. An elegant Aſyndeton, that is, they followed theſe things without intermiſſion, as if they had nothing elſe to do men are thus hindered,
I. By perverting the ordinance of marriage, their corruption making that an hinderance, which God's inſtitution made an help.
1. The help is to maintain ſociety, God thought it not fit that a man ſhould be alone, and therefore made him a meet companion, Gen. 2.18. the hinderance then is, when conjugal ſociety juſtleth out ſp…ritual ſociety. I have marryed a wife, and I muſt keep her company, and with this pretence the company of Saints is neglected by ſome, as likewiſe conference with God, and ſerious meditation, and ſecret prayer. Though it be bad for men to withdraw themſelves from their wives company, to aſſociate themſelves with ſtrangers, yet 'tis good for them to retire themſelves, that they may give themſelves …o faſting and prayer, 1 Cor. 7.5. and ſo proportionably to any other ſpiritual exerciſe, as occaſion ſerveth, whether ordinary, or extraordinary, private or publick duty.
2. The help is to increaſe delight: one main work of marryed perſons is to ſtudy to pleaſe one another, 1 Cor. 7.33, 34. to care or caſt in their mind every way how to give teſt content. The hinderance then is, when men are ſo over-buſy in pleaſing their wives, that they are very negligent about pleaſing God. To pleaſe a wife in the neglect of a ſpiritual duty, which diſpleaſeth God, will be but cold comfort in the end.
3. The third help is to raiſe a family Male and Female God hath joyned together,Hic cura rei familiaris impeditur. Marior. that others like to them may come from them, Gen. 5.2 3. The hinderance then is, when men are ſo diligent to build up their own families, that they neglect the building up of God's family. I have marryed a wife, and I muſt provide for her, and thoſe that come of her: but God hath his family, Eph. 3.14, 15. and men ought to take care how they and theirs may be added to, and brought up in that family. When family-affairs hinder Church-affairs; when generation hinders regeneration; when the natural iſſue hinders ſpiritual iſſue, then marriage is abuſed.
4. The fourth help is to prevent ſin: Man is to take a wife that he may not go to an harlot, nor continue burning in his natural fil…h. Marriage is a remedy againſt incontinency, 1 Cor. 7.2. A benefit ſince the fall.Conjugium inſtitutum ante lapſum ſanis ad oſſicium, poſt lapſum aegrot is ad remedium. Auguſt. The whole need no Phyſician, neither needed man this Phyſick before the fall, when he was in perfect health: the hinderance is, when inſtead of preventing ſin, there is provoking unto ſin. I have marryed a wife, and I muſt enjoy her: So the man doth glut himſelf with carnal pleaſure, that the mind is mudded, and very m…ch beſotted, inſomuch that the clear ſight of ſpiritual things is very much hindered thereby. The matrimonial conjunction how might it be ſpiritualized by the conſideration of that ſecret and delightful oneneſs between Chriſt and the Church, but alas! how is it abuſed by many in the obſcenity of their ſpeech, and unnaturalneſs of their actions with their own wives, contrary to that ſpiritual uſe of the marriage bed, Eph. 5.31.32.
II. By being perverted by them whom they have marryed: though the marrying a wife be no hindrance, yet the marrying of ſome wife is a great hindrance. I have marryed a wife, even ſuch a wife as hinders me. This made Iſaac and Rebekah take the more care for the matching of their ſon Jacob, Gen. 27.46. & 28.1.
Sect. 2.
Queſt. But what kind of wives are thoſe that are an hinderance to their husbands in good?
Resp. 1. The domineering wife: Uxori nubere nolo meae. Mart.ſuch a one was Jezabel, 1 King. 21.7. and of her husband it is ſaid, there was none like Ahab for wickedneſs, whom Jezabel his wife ſtirred up, ver. 25. ſhe was very imperious, and furious againſt the Prophets and people of God, and her husband a great perſecutor by her means.
2. The contentious wife, which the Scripture compares to a continual dropping,Conjugium conjurgium. like as a man that hath met with hard uſage abroad, thinks to mend himſelf at home, but is no ſooner ſate down there, but the rain dropping through the roof upon his head, drives him out or doors again, Prov. 19.13. This is like a tempeſt in the haven, moſt troubleſome, and moſt dangerous.
3. The flattering wife, like Delilah, Judg. 16.5, 6. who like a ſnake winds about a man to ruine him, who inſinuates into her husbands affection, the better to procure his deſtruction.
4. The ſcoffing wife. This croſs David met with, 2 Sam. 6.16. it is ſad when a godly huſband meets with a jeering and ſcoffing wiſe: but let ſuch wives know, God hath a barren womb for a ſcoffing Michel.
5. The coy wife. Job was exerciſed with this temptation, but was not overcome with it, yet 'twas bitter to him, when his breath was ſtrange to his wife, Job. 19.17. ſhe was ſo coy, that ſhe could not bear her husbands ſores. Yet hiſtory tells us of a contrary rare example, the Lady Eleanor, wife to King Edward I. who ſuckt out the poiſon out of her husband, who was treacherouſly wounded, and ſo healed him, and hurt not her ſelf.
6. The diſcontented wife, ſuch a one was Lot's wife, ſhe was not willing to leave Sodom, but looked back contrary to God's command, and was turn'd into a pillar of ſalt: her ſin ſeems to be compounded of many ſins, as curioſity, fooliſh pity, covetouſneſs, and lothneſs to leave ſuch a pleaſant countrey, but all through diſcontent with, or at Gods word and works.
7. The whoriſh wife, Luke 3.19. A diſhoneſt woman contemneth ſhame, this cauſeth ſorrow and bitterneſs to her husband.
CHAP. II.
Uſe 1. HEre ſee the great force of near relations,Relationes ſunt minimae entitatis, ſed maximae efficaciae. they have a ſpecial influence into the lives of men, either to their making or marring. If rightly ſet, they are very advantageous, if miſ-placed, they are very pernicious. Some match in a family, what a bleſſing doth it bring? Again, ſome match, what a curſe doth it bring? The one God hath appointed one woman, and no more for one man, every one therefore had need to look to that one, Mal. 2.15. This is the firſt pair, and original of all others.
Here alſo we may ſee the great abuſe of near relations, either in the entring into them, or in the exerciſe of them. When people marry unſu…tably, or live unwarrantaby with them whom they marry. Some marry only by their eyes, Gen. 6.2. beauty is a dangerous bait, and luſt is ſharp-ſighted: here it is good with Job to make a covenant with the eyes, and with Nazianzen to n…rture the eyes, to bind them to their good behaviour: not, but that a mans wife may be like Ezekiels, the delight of his eyes: it is wiſdom ſurely for parties to look upon one another, as ſuch pleaſing objects, that their eyes may be taken off from all others. Again, ſome chuſe meerly for money, as though the excrements of the earth were of the eſſence of marriage: their affections being manacled with money, rather than wedded to the perſon.
Uſe 2. Yet there be ſome, who are not hindered, but furthered by their marriage in receiving the Goſpel-meſſage. Manaoh had a good wife, Judg. 13.23. ſhe ſpake experimentally to her husband of God's goodneſs. Nazianzen ſaith, that his Mother was not only an help to his Father in matters of piety, but a Doctreſs and governeſs, yet his Father was an able Miniſter of the Goſpel. Budaeus that Learned French-man, had a great help of his wife in points of Learning. Placilla the Empreſs was a ſingular help to her husband Theodoſius in things both temporal and ſpiri…ua…. And ſome chur…ſh men who will not … bettered by their wives, yet they are kept … of ha… way by their good wives, as Nabal by Ab…gati.
Then …u…ther, marriage is not to be blamed: men may be pious, and freed from worldly entangements in a marryed as well as in a ſingle life. 'Tis ſaid of Enoch, that he walked with God, after he begat Methuſalah, Gen. 5.22. Matrimonial acts need be no hinderance to ſpiritual exerciſe.
CHAP. III.
Uſe 3. THe third uſe ſhall be of exhortation.
I. To the unmarryed.
1. While ye continue in your ſingle life, be contented with it, 1 Cor. 7.27. conſider from this Doctrine, you had better have no wife than ſome wife. Of Sylla the Roman 'tis ſaid, Foelix fuiſſet, ſi uxorem non habuiſſet: pity thoſe that have their pull-backs.
2. When you intend to alter your ſingle life into a marryed eſtate, ſee that firſt ye be marryed to the Lord, according to the Covenant of grace, Hoſ. 2.20. 1 Cor. 6.17. then look to her whom you marry, that you marry in the Lord, 1 Cor. 7.39. which that you may do, ſeek a wife of the Lord, for a good wife is God's gift, Prov. 19.14. and a ſpecial favour, Prov. 18.22. ſeek her then by prayer, Gen. 24.12. and by adviſing with good friends, and let thoſe who have Parents, take their counſel: and let all concern'd in ſuch a buſineſs, look more to goodneſs than goods.
II. To the marryed.
I. To the husband.
1. Live as a man of knowledge with thy wife, 1 Pet. 3.7. the husband is the head, and where ſhould knowledge be but in the head? but how ſad is it to ſee ſuch headleſs heads, ſuch ignorant husbands as there be in many families?
2. Live as a man of affection, let every husband love his wife, Eph. 5.23. let him ſhew it in protecting her from injuries, the husband is to be the wives ſafeguard, Eph. 5.25. let him provide for her conveniences.foreign alam ſignificat. …uxtorf. foreign Eph. 5.29. This duty St. Paul expreſſeth by two ſignificant words, nouriſhing and cheriſhing: the former referring to food, the latter to raiment, as Zanchy noteth; both which the man ought to afford his wife according to his degree. Let him bear with her infirmities as the weaker veſſel, 1 Pet. 3.7.
2. To the Wife.
Let her ſee, that ſhe reverence her husband,Nun quam crit voluntaria ſubjectio, niſi praecedat reverentia. Marlor. Eph. 5.33. inwardly, let her have an high eſteem of her husband: outwardly, let her geſtures, words, and actions have reverence ſtamped on them. There is good reaſon why the woman ſhould be in ſubjection, becauſe ſhe was laſt in the creation, and firſt in the tranſgreſſion.
3. To Husband and Wife.
Are you unequally yoked, yet part not one from the other, but ſeek to win one the other to the faith, 1 Cor. 7.12. Are you equally yoked in the Lord, bleſs God for it, and draw evenly together in Chriſts yoke: live as the heirs of the grace of life, 1 Pet. 3.7. be weaned from Relations while you do enjoy them, 1 Cor. 7.29. Conſider, that Relations muſt ſhortly be diſſolved by death: the time is ſhort. The perſons related muſt be parted for ever, if one be a believer, and the other an unbeliever. Not only two in the field, or fellow-travellers: two in the mill, or work-fellows; but two in the bed, or bed-fellows; the one ſhall be taken, the other left; the one taken to God; the other left to the Devil. foreign.
CHAP. IV. And therefore I cannot come.
Sect. 1.
HEre is the peremptorineſs in urging the plea:Inurhanus est voluptati vacans, ideò caeteris pejus respondit. Salmer. and therefore I cannot come] viz. becauſe I have marryed a wife. The reaſon indeed is, becauſe he was marryed or wedded to the world. This anſwer is very ſaucy, and more unmannerly than the former. It is as if he ſhould have ſaid in plain terms to the miniſters of the Goſpel, you may even ſave your labour to invite, for this is the ſhorteſt and the longeſt as we ſay, I cannot come. Hence I note,
Obſer. That thoſe that are wedded to the world, are peremptory in refuſing the word. The things of the world unto which men are wedded are theſe.
1. The honour of the world, unto which the ambitious man is wedded, which the Apoſtle calls the pride of life, 1 John 2.16. when the mind aſpireth after Dignities and Titles, meerly to advance the name of a man, gaping after preferment, diſquieted without it, domineering with it.
2. The wealth of the world, to which the covetous man is wedded, running greedily for reward,foreign. Jude ver. 11. the Greek word ſignifies a pouring forth like water, importing the impetuouſneſs and violence of the mind after gain: when no bounds or banks can put a ſtop to their over-flowing deſires.
3. The pleaſure of the world, to which the voluptuous, or luxurious man is wedded, wholly taken up with carnal delights, Amos 6.4, 5, 6. meerly ſenſual; ſatiating and pampering themſelves with the creature, omitting nothing that may make them compleat Epicures, giving themſelves to ſuch exceſs, that inſtead of feeding their bodies, they feed their luſts, to the great prejudice of their ſouls.
CHAP. V. To be wedded to the world, is
Sect. 1.
1. TO forſake all that is good to enjoy the world. Thoſe that are marryed, do forſake all to enjoy one another: Thus the worldling (Demas-like) leaves all for the love of the world, 2 Tim. 4.10. As a true Chriſtian forſakes all temporals, honour, profit, pleaſure, for God; ſo the worldling forſakes all ſpirituals for the world: Saints, Churches, Ordinances; let all go from him, or he will go from all, that he may take faſter hold of the world.
2. To give a man's ſelf to the world. Thoſe that are marryed, do give themſelves one to the other, reſigning up the power or uſe of their bodies each unto the other, 1 Cor. 7.4. A man that is wedded to the world bringeth himſelf under the power of the world: the world may do with him what it will. The natural man walks according to the courſe of this world, Eph. 2.2.
3. To cleave cloſe unto the world. The marryed man is ſaid to cleave to his wife, Matth. 19.5. to be as the Greek word ſignifies,foreign glued to her: he that is wedded to the world, is glued to the world: and thoſe things that are glued, are hardly parted. The worldling's heart is ſet upon worldly things, oh 'tis hard coming between to take off the affection from the object.
4. To make proviſion for the world, even for theſe worldly affections within a man: he that lives like a marryed man, nouriſheth and cheriſheth his wife as his own fleſh, Eph. 5.29. Now as there is natural fleſh, ſo there is ſinful fleſh. This is the fleſh that a man, wedded to the world, nouriſheth and cheriſheth, making proviſion for it, which St. P…ul forbids, Rom. 13.14. As ſome neglect the body by too ſevere abſtinence, weakening it as to the exerciſe of godlineſs; ſo many more do cheriſh the body by too great indulgence, ſtrengthning it to the acts of wickedneſs. The other neglect a friend: Theſe harbour an enemy.
Sect. 2.
The peremptorineſs of theſe worldlings againſt the word appeareth in theſe things.
1. They ſh…t their eyes againſt the word, in ſeeing they ſee not, Matth. 13.13. they ſhut the window, that the light may not come in. They cannot but ſee (ſo clearly doth the Goſpel ſhine) yet will they not ſee; their minds are ſo prejudiced againſt the truth.
2. They ſtop their ears againſt the word;Audientes corporis ſenſu, non audiunt cordis aſſenſu. Aug. hearing they hear not; they hear a ſound, but no diſtinct ſound. They are like the deaf Adder, or Aſp, that ſtops her ear at the voice of the charmer, Pſal. 58.4, 5. who when ſhe perceiveth the charmer, layeth one of her ears cloſe upon the ground, and covereth the other with her tall, becauſe ſhe will not hear the charms.
3. They open their mouths againſt the word, as thoſe wicked Jews, who ſpake againſt thoſe things which were ſpoken by S…. Paul, Act. 13.45. This is blaſphemy, defaming God himſelf, caſting aſperſions upon his moſt reverent name.
4. They trample with their feet upon the word: theſe ſwiniſh Ep…cures do trample upon that Pearl of price, that is brought to them in the Goſpel-meſſage, Matth. 7.6. they feed ſo greedily upon the garbage of carnal contentments, that they deſpiſe ſpiriritual enjoyments.
Queſt. Why are worldlings ſo peremptory againſt the word?
Resp. 1. They cannot be for the word and the world too, Luke 16.13. ſeeing therefore they will be for the world, they cannot be for the word: he that is marryed to one, cannot be marryed to another, till he be diſjoyned from the former, while the heart is ſet upon the world, it cannot at the ſame time be ſet upon the word.
2. The word is very ſtrict againſt them, it threatens damnation to them that mind earthly things, Phil. 3.19. the worldling hates the word, becauſe the Scripture ſpeaks not one ſyllable of good to a worldling ſo abiding.
CHAP. VI.
Uſe 1. HEre ye may ſee, that worldly …emptations are very dangerous: man's nature is ready to cloſe with them, and the cloſing with them undoes a man. A wedge of gold, and an Achan's eye, may coſt a man his life: a worldly proffer meeting with a worldly heart may coſt a man his ſoul.
Here alſo ye may ſee, that the world doth choak the word, Luke 8.7. it hindereth the growth of it, ſo that the love of the world is not ſeated in the heart, neither doth the fruit of it appear in the life: hence it is, that many who increaſe in worldly riches, do decreaſe as to their ſpiritual profeſſion.
Ʋſe 2. Yet there is a delight in worldly enjoyments, which may well ſtand with a delight in God's word. 'Tis lawful, not only to have, and uſe the things of this world, but to rejoyce in the ſame, Eccleſ. 3.12, 13. ſo that we keep within the bounds of ſober delight, and our mirth degenerate not into that laughter which is madneſs. But 'tis as hard to bear much proſperity, as to drink much wine, and not be giddy.
Yet there be thoſe who are wedded to the world, that ſeemingly comply with the word, drawing near to God with the mouth, whoſe heart is far from him, Iſa. 29.13. whoſe heart goes after their covetouſneſs, and after their carnal luſts.
Uſe. 3. Then live as thoſe who are not wedded to the world, that it may appear ye refuſe not the word.
1. Be weaned from the world, Pſal. 131.2. the world is a diſtempered body, and its breaſts cannot afford wholeſome milk. Uſe earthly things with an holy indifferency, uſe all worldly things with much moderation and ſobriety, 1 Cor. 7.29, 30. with a kind of non-attendancy, reſerving the bent of your wills, and vigour of your ſpirits for heavenly objects. Uſe them likewiſe with an holy jealouſie, leſt they ſhould deceive you of better: be not ſenſual in your ſenſible delights, like thoſe who feed upon the ſweetneſs of the creature without fear, Jude v. 12. but ſanctifie your enjoyments by daily prayer, that ye may be delivered from the ſnare of them.
2. Be crucified to the world. The world is crucified to me, ſaith St. Paul, and I unto the world, Gal. 6.14. that is, the world and I are well agreed: the world cares not for me, and I care as little for the world: labour to have your affections and luſts ſo crucified and deaded, that worldly temptations do not draw them out: he that is dead, is freed from ſin. Love not the world, ſo as to ſin for its ſake: be not ſo fond of the world, as though you could not live without it: be not drawn from your duty by it.
Live alſo like thoſe who are ready to receive the word, that it may appear ye are not wedded to the world.
1. Be wedded to Chriſt according to the miniſtry of the word, it ſerveth to that end and purpoſe, 2 Cor. 11.2. the Church made up of believers is the Lamb's wife.
2. Be obſervant of Chriſt according to the laws of marriage; ſtudy to pleaſe him, be willing to do any thing for him, 2 Cor. 5.14. and he will do any thing for you, Hoſ. 2.19, 20. Conſider, that all the outward excellencies of the world are to be had in the enjoyment of Chriſt in a more eminent manner: with him there is the honour of a Crown, 1 Tim. 4.8. what greater honour? the profit of a treaſure, Col. 2.3. many treaſures, the pleaſure of a Paradiſe, Luke 23.43. all delights that are deſirable. Beſides, the beauty of the world is ſoon over, but the fruits of the word abide for ever, 1 Pet. 1.24, 25.