The Young Mans Monitor, Chapter 4
CHAP. IV. More subordinate Advice in reference to the right ordering of our Civil Conversation and Concerns in the World.
I Have now laid before you some of those more ponderous points of your concernment and duty between God and your own souls. I shall at present add no further therein. The Lord himself by his own good Spirit supply and suggest the things of your everlasting peace yet more particularly and distinctly unto you.
It remains now (according to the method I formerly mentioned and proposed) that I should leave with you some (though more inferiour) advice touching your Civill Converse with men, and good management of your outward condition here in the world; That you may behave your selves wisely, sociably, and vertuously in all.
The Philosophers had a great apprehension of a good Genius standing at the door to *foreign Ceberis Tab.inform the green minds of Youth what they should do, and how they might most vertuously enter the stage of life. They might cloudily mistake the name, (as in most things they darkly did,) but both they and we must all acknowledge the ponderous necessity of the thing it self; That there be all timely care for the due Conduct and Culture of life.
You are now going into Civill Society amongst men, where very much of the comfort and sweetness of life depends upon our mutual acquitting our selves each to other in the good offices of Vertue and Humanity. These are in their place as the true current lawful Coin, which should pass freely to and fro for the upholding all sweet and desirable intercourse and commerse each with other, without which we should be but as so many angry wasps, though shut up together in the same nest. Or as wild Bears, grumbling savagely one by another in the same common Den.
It was the glory of the Gospel, that it did not make void, but establish the Law. And it is our comfort before the Lord, that we need not, neither are we called so to profess *Homo supponitur in Christiano.Christianity as to put off Humanity. If any shall frowardly so do, he erreth exceedingly from the Faith, and brings up an evil and unjust report upon the good name of God and his righteous waies.
The care which in this respect lies before you, and cannot but be exceeding dear unto you is briefly this: To consider how you may go in and out through the great hurry and tumult of vicissitudes and various troubles continually ratling about us here; so as to be neither burdensom to your selves, nor others: but cheerfully composed and settled in your minds; sweetly useful and serviceable unto all. Such an one we may honourably Enroll and Sirname, a true Citizen and Denizon amongst mankind, made free, and meet for converse with a civill world.
This is in a great measure that good which God hath laid out for the Sons of men. Very desirable with all,Eccl. 10.15. but rarely attained by any. The labour of the foolish (experience sadly shews us) wearieth him, for he knoweth not the way unto the City.
1 General Advice, A cordial imbracement of Vertue and declining of all Vice.In your pressing after these things, the most comprehensive and general rule that I can safely and heartily commend unto you, is plainly this. A rule worthy to be transmitted as a Treasure from the Father to the Son, and his Childs Child after him.*Semita tranquillae per virtut…m patet gnica vitae Juvenal. Cordially espouse all Vertue: Constantly hate and decline all Vice. Never was Vertue any mans real hinderance in ought that is desirable: nor Vice a true means of good to any. But as the daughters of Heth to Rebeccah, that which will make our very life a burden, and wearisom to us if our souls shall match themselves unto it.
Vertue, we are usually told, if we could behold it with the eyes of our bodies, it would attract all affections to it; it would draw all men into an exstacy and admiration of it.
Seneca goes yet further, telling us, (and that truly) in this vailed condition, wherein it goes up and down almost incognito in the world;*In omnium animos lumen suum immittit, etiam qui non sequuntur eam vident, &c. Seneca. It yet darteth some raies upon all mens minds, insomuch that they who embrace it not cannot but see it, and highly respect it.
But Vice whatever interest it hath unduly gained in most mens affections, soon hastens in all mens experience to this joyless upshot. It †Nocte dieque suum gestabit pectore testem. Juvenal.disturbs and clouds us with guilt and fears within ourselves. It renders us odious and unsavory, slighted and rejected with others. It wasts Estates. It blasts Reputation. It embaseth the Mind. It corrupteth the Life. It drags down the whole man to shame and misery. It is the Philosophers Sphinx, which however it may seem to propound toyes, yet devoureth all (as that did) who fall unwisely into its Imbraces. It is a deceitful Laba… that changeth our wages. We may go out after it with the Prodigal, pleasant and full of hopes, but shall too soon return like him with rags and hunger.
This is the general Rule which cannot, which will not fail any that are true to it. The Lord give you hearts to put it upon trial, and to abide all your daies by it. And it shall assuredly keep you in your goings out and comings in from those manifold evils which most men by their own wretchedness pull down upon themselves.
2 Particular Advice threefold.For more particular directions; It were improper for me to expatiate too far, or to turn a Letter into a Treatise. Amongst many other things of great weight it shall suffice at present to tell you, you will have exceeding much need of these three in your pursuance of such a comfortable life here on earth.
1. You will have great need of a rare government over your selves; that there be no disorders within doores at home.
2. You will have great need of the utmost prudence for the dexterous disposal of all your affairs, that there be no miscarriage in the practical part of your life abroad.
3. You will have great need of much humanity for your better converse with all persons, that there be no violating of the Laws of civil Society, the dear and common interest of mankind.
Upon these few hinges the chief Concerns of this present life do very much turn. Where these are safely setled, Vertue hath its triumph, We the tranquillity of our minds, Our Conversation its just composure, and all the blasts of adversity shall be no more able to do any prejudice, than the clouds which are so far inferiour can do unto the Sun, whose Orb and motion are both exceeding high above them.
First,1 Particular Advice. A due poize and Government over our selves, and affections. You will have great need of a rare Government over your selves, a choice poize continually upon your own spirits; keeping your affections, as the Centurions Servants, in all subjection, meekly to go or come, as the occasion and matter shall require.
This is that noble conquest which Solomon in the wisdom of God so highly commends.Prov. 16.32. Stronger is he that ruleth his own spirit than he that taketh a City. This is that desirable Kingdom, that the meanest Subject without the least disturbance of the Government under which he lives may happily attain. *Si vis esse rex, ostendam tibi regnum, rege teipsum.Are you desirous (saies the Philosopher) of a Kingdom? I can presently shew you one; rule wisely over your own self.
A profuse and impotent letting out of the heart upon these inferiour things betraies us too surely to every emergent temptation, and proves usually in a short time (like Sampsons fond love) *Iussisti Domine! & sic est, ut omnis inordinatus affectus sit sibi paena. Aug.our enthralment, our shame, and death. †Pro. 25.28.A City broken down, and without walls (so sad a prospect the Holy Ghost tells us) is that man that hath no rule over his own spirit.
Man is the noblest Creature in the whole World, and his Government of highest moment. To see him sit cloathed, and in his right mind; every thought, every affection, as so many wheels in their proper place, at their true motion, oh! it is the honourablest sight amongst all the manifold works of God upon the face of the Earth.
Dear Children! Beg and strive that this may be your happy lot. Every one of you in your several times another Socrates; that it may be said of you as of him, whoever observes you, That you are still walking in *Eodem semp. r… cedibat vultu, de Socr. dict.one and the same vertuous frame of mind, one and the same cheerful complexion of countenance.
You will see some, Heraclitus-like, bitterly passionate almost to death for every light trivial cross. Others again, Democritus-like, as wide on the other hand, ever frothy, ready to laugh at their own shaddow. But you will still find it, in the sequel of your life, your honour as to men, and your great comfort as to your selves; to keep a juster reine over your affections. We may say of our affections, as we use to say of fire, and water, They are good Servants, but bad Masters. You may safely take it as your vade mecum along with you, in reference to the things of this life, †Fortem posse animum qui ferre quoat quoscu… que labores, resctat irassi, cuniat nil. Juvenal.Desire not any thing immoderately, fear not any thing too anxiously. Delight not in any thing too excessively. Lament not any thing too …itterly. All these are but as so many several sorts of moral drunkenness. We may be affectionate: we must not be immoderate. The enjoyment of our selves, and the serenity of our minds is still more than all.
It is time, it is high time for you to be previously considering with your selves; it may be the Lord hath laid out for some of you a tempestuous voyage upon these Seas. More indignities, more repulses from the world; More unkindnesses, more revilings from men; More chastenings under his own hand; More sickness, more poverty; More of trials every way than you are yet aware of. Are you strengthning your selves in your patience to possess your souls, and in all sweet composure to bear them when they shall indeed come? That you may say as Iob, It is but the thing that I have prepared and looked for, that is come upon me; I will with patience accept it, and will not charge God foolishly.
It may be on the other hand some of you the Lord may enlarge your border; and bring you forth as Vessels unto some service and honour in your Generation. Are you now timously instructing your selves in the vanity, the dangers, and continual restlesness of high enjoyments; the manifold temptations that attend them; the strict accounts that must be given of them; *Sapienti viro incessu; modestior. Sen.that so you may pass (as becomes the wise) with a due modesty of spirit into them?
This, Dear Children, is that sobriety of mind that I have desired to set before you. Oh that you may be able when it comes to your trial to consist with it, and to know †Alteram sortem bene pr…eparatum pectus. Hor.how to abound or want; how to live in honour or obscurity, entertaining with sweetness whatsoever condition the All-wise Disposer of all things shall order for you.
Secondly,2 Particular Advice. Much true prudence for the dexterous disposal of all affairs. You will have as great need of the utmost Prudence for the dexterous disposal of all your affairs without doors, that there be no Miscarriage in the practical part of your life abroad. The natural Eye may direct the body: but it is *foreign Plato.Prudence only that can inform and conduct the life. The understanding of the Prudent (we are told from the Lord himself) it is that which directs his way. This is that wise Pilot that best steers the Ship, and preserves it from all the rocks of danger that lie in our way. The Phisitian of life that preserves the Conversation in health, and upon its feet. Wisdome is the principal thing; above all getting let us labour to get understanding.
Foolishness it is the Souls Apoplexy, wherein all the noble faculties of the mind are cast into a dead sleep. The Souls Dream, wherein meephansies swim up and down, but little true reason. It is a Sampson, whose eyes are out, the scorn and derision of all. It is the unskilful hand that mars that brings to dishonour every action, every vessel that comes under the wheel. It is the blind Traveller, that continually stumbles wherever he goes, and still knoweth not whereat. It is the dead Fly, that corrupts the whole boxe of Oyntment. The least mixture of it immediately stains and overcasts many vertuous actions.
Take heed Dear Children! that you become not such unsavory salt, that such folly cause not you to go astray in the progress of your life. Let Solomons Prayer in his Youth be your daily entreaty unto God. Give thy Servant oh Lord! an understanding heart, 1 King. 3.7, 9.that I may know how to go out and come in, discerning between good and evil.
Life is a Theater full of action, the Scenes thick and various; a multitude of fresh occasions continually crowding in upon us; our Time short, the Opportunities of actions seldom seen till they be slipt by and gone. These things will call for a world of wisdom to contrive and order all for the best.
Well in this great and difficult case, let Prudence be the Sollicitour to attend and look after it. As the handmaid of the mind, that may go to the door when these occasions shall thus earnestly knock; that may take their Errand distinctly, give them their Answerfully; treating every Occurrence of life fairly, without precipitancy, without delay.
It is the great honour of Prudence that it is (as Ezechiels vision) full of eyes; able to look upon *Praesentia ordinat, futura providet, praeterita recordatur.time past, time present, and time to come: making all these several winds to fill her sails, to serve her in her voyage, for the dispatch of her work.
1. It will be the work and care of true Prudence to look back upon time past by way of reflection, that the former Errata's and miscarriages of life may be henceforth corrected, prevented, and seen no more. Who so is wise his own failings shall become his teachers, and charge him that he return no more to folly.
2. It will be the further task of Prudence to look circumspectly to the present. It is all the time we have any certain hold of, we may well be choice of it.
Prudence is herein very sollicitous.
1. That nothing be now done in vain, *Omnis labor aliquo referatur, aliquo respiciat. Sen.but for good and weighty ends. Ends so righteous, that they may be fairly vindicated; So lovely, that they may be worthy to be embraced; So useful, that they cannot be refused. The wise man is able at any time to answer in all his actions as once David to his brethren,1 Sam. 17.29. There is just cause for what I have done.
2. That nothing be done by uncomly means: but such as may be truly righteous in their nature, best serviceable to the end, and honourable for us to make use of. Alexander (how desirable soever it might have been unto him) would by no means unhandsomly steal a victory; and the vertuous heart scorns and refuses to debase it self to do evil that good may come of it.
3. That nothing be done *Seclera impetu; bo…aco, silia …o…a valescunt. Tacitus.rashly: but upon well digested thoughts, concocted by just deliberation. The understanding (as the living Spirit in the Prophets vision) moves the wheels; whither that is to go the wheels go, and without that they stir not.
4. That nothing be done boisterously: †Omnis ex …suinitate s… … est. Seneca.but calmly, not with much noise: but rather with good effect. Our minds may run much upon the thunder and earthquake: but the Prophet tells us, it was in the still small voice that the presence of God was rather found. Soft words and hard arguments we usually say make the best …isputation: and we may as safely conclude, meekly, but surely, is the honourablest character in almost any prosecution.
5. That nothing be done unseasonably, but as Apples of Gold in Pictures of Silver: being humbly studious to approve our selves in this, followers of God; that our works might also for their measure have somewhat of beauty in their season.
6. That nothing be done excentrically, which lies not so properly within our sphaere: but a studious adorning of our own Province, a careful attending to that which is incumbent upon us. The Creatures beneath us are not so senseless but they hearken to God in this; and strictly confine themselves to their peculiar task. It shall be our honour also before the Lord, to preserve our selves from that arraignment, Who required these things at your hands? Duely to watch our own vineyard, and to make our station a praise to all that shall behold it.
7. And lastly, That nothing be done negligently: but with a due strength and industry. Faint offers of action are but poor insignificant Ciphers with Prudence; she allows them no place in her Ethicks. She is very desirous fairly to finish whatever she undertakes. And wishes that all would take it as their memorial sentence, Whatsoever their band findeth to do, Eccl. 9.10that they would do it with all their strength, since there is no work nor invention in the grave, whither we shortly are going.
3. The work of Prudence is not yet finished; in the last place it openeth its eye also upon time to come. Folly indeed scarce stirs much out of its own doors; takes no great delight in going much forth. But it is the proper nature of an enlarged mind, *foreign Aquila in nubibus.to make, as the Eagle, toward Heaven, to desire, as it can, to look over the wall and, see toward Eternity. To go out, as Isaac, into the fields, and meet with its future condition by previous meditation.
Herein it is still the task and office of Prudence to stand in the watchtower, and found the Trumpet: To foresee the evil, Pro. 22.3.and hide it self, and, (as those that feared the Lord amongst Pharaohs servants) to get out of the way of harm and danger against the hail and storm comes.
Thus doth it belong to Prudence to espy opportunity while it is yet at a distance, and to get it self in a posture before-hand: whether it be for avoiding of misery, or for the attaining of mercy; that it be not taken as the foolish Virgins, slumbring, and ar unawares.
These are the cares that Prudence takes, in this wariness doth she proceed in all her waies. So *Falli nou potest: sal…ere non vult. Auct. lib. 4. de Vict.circumspect, that she cannot be deceived by others; and yet still so vertuous that she scorns to have any deceived by her. Her whole carriage is full of beauty, and her works shall soon praise her in the gates.
It is true, such Wisdom is high, and very few attain it; but it is nevertheless our standing duty, and could we reach it, our conversations would be no longer like the ordinary rate of the ex tempore every-day carriage of the world, without form or comliness: but like Moses in the Mount, shining with the very raies of the glory of God upon it.
Dear Youths! be you willing to apply your hearts to all this wisdom, and to endeavour henceforth to begin to walk thus wisely in a perfect way. Light cannot more excell Darkness than Wisdom excelleth Folly. The Lord grant, whatever others do, that Wisdom may be practically thus justified in you as her children.
This is the second thing so importantly needful for you, a spirit of wisdom (as eyes in the wilderness) to guide you in all your way.
Thirdly,3 Particular Advice. Sweetness and humanity for our better Converse with all men. You will have great need of much Humanity for your better converse with all persons: that there may be no violating of the laws of Civil Society, the dear and common Interest of Mankind.
*Sensum a coelesti demissum travimus arce, mutuus ut nos affectus petere auxilium & praestare juberet. Juvenal.We are none of us born to live Stoically, in a Coll, alone by our selves: but in a more open air, conversive with others, useful to many, loving and just to all.
Prudence without this degenerates into a vicious subtilty and crastiness. Fortitude without this into a savage cruelty and violence. Diligence without this may fill its barns with Dives, but it hides its eyes from its own flesh, and starves the poor Lazarus at the door. And at length Nature it self without this becomes like Nebuchadnezzar, fit to be driven from among men, remaining a stupid barbarous thing, its heart as the heart of a beast, too brutish within it.
Civil and loving Society it is the great Exchange of Nature: where we should all meet, not for ostentation and complements, but for real mutual *Proprium hoc statuo est virtutis, conciliare animas hominum & ad usus suos adjungere. Cicer.accommodation. It is Natures Table of Ordinary: where the several Lodgers may come and take their diet with the greater refreshment together. It is its County-feast: where strangers become fairly acquainted, and readily imbrace each other upon the welcome account of a common relation. It is the universal Character, intelligible with all. It is the travelling Language, which alone frees us from being Barbarians to others, and they to us.
This is its short Description. An Ape…les if he were to draw it in its most lively complexion before us, must present it (as that neat Orator) with its *Nec alia ejus sacies, quam seveni coeli ac nite… tis. Sen.face serene and clear as the sky, having no clouds to disgrace or obscure it.
Its carriage is every way answerable. It behaves not it self unseemly. It is not austere and froward: but exceeding mild, and very taking. Not subject to the least exception, but highly dear to all.
As to its deportment, it is not nicely artificial or affected: neither is it willing to be sordid or neglected. It tempers its carriage as its cloaths, (such as it may best dispatch its business in) for decency, and for service.
It is burdensome to none by unseasonable visits, by idle interruptions, by wearisome detainments, by fruitless discourses, by importunate or unbecomming requests. It hath not so learnt the Laws of converse. These Solaecisms in conversation were not to offer good company: but to commit a violent and forcible assault upon civill Society.
It cordially honours and affects a publike and common good. Reckoning that its private Cabbin shares with the common condition of the Ship; and that the best way to secure that is to help what we can in the preserving of the Vessel. He that truly seeks the good of others, doth therein ultimately, a kindness also to himself.
It sometimes allows it self a little to study the dispositions of others. Not as a Fluterer, that it might see how to insinuate it self, or humour them in evil. Not as a P…rate, to find where nature is weakest, and might be easiest boarded by some crafty design: but as the Physitian studies his Patient, for the more dexterous and friendly application of it self.
It readily respects and values endowments and gifts in others. It acknowledges them precious Jewels from the Father of Lights, and heartily wishes much good and honour may they do to those on whom they are bestowed.
It buries also with as much modesty their weaknesses, saying, The Lord in Christ may have forgiven them. I may and will humbly pray for them: and if I have opportunity, will endeavor in a spirit of meeknes to heal them, but it would by no means become me unkindly to grate or take in them.
It hath a very happy disposition as to the easie forgetting of injuries: And it is likewise as happy in the constant, the ready, and grateful remembrance of kindnesses. It takes little delight in burdening its memory with the evils of others; there is no such desirableness in them, they are Errata's the sooner expunged the better. It rather stores its mind with the candid thoughts of its own duty, as the better and more becoming treasure. It striveth cordially to overcome evil with good, and abhors as much where it receiveth good to render evil.
It chearfully rejoyces with them that rejoyce, feasting it self with the good of others, as if they were so many dishes at its own table.
It condoles likewise as affectionately with the afflicted, and freely puts it self in mourning at its own charge; as being one nearly related, of the same kindred and family of mankind.
Thus is it both able and ready to serve in any capacity, to accommodate its self to every office, for the repairing of the breaches too too open every where. To the weak it makes it self weak, to the strong it becomes strong; it stoops and becomes all things (still vertuously) unto all, that so by any means it might serve some.
To its Superiours it is respectful. To its Equals it is loving. To its Inferiours it is courteous. To All it is truly candid. Affable and temperate in speech. Clean and modest in behaviour. Pleasant and ingenuous in countenance. And above all kindly affectionate and gentle in heart. Thus doth it shew forth it self with a constellation of many vertues united and shining together.
This was above all his other conquests Cyrus his most renowned Victory (as Xenophon tells us) without wounds or scars to himself: without grievance or regret to others. *foreign Xenophon Orat. de Ages. Reg.The places that were impregnable by strength of arms, he overcame and took them by his rare and unparallelled humanity.
Many Daughters have done vertuously, but this for sweetness in an angry world seems greatly to excell them all.
*Ita facillime sine invidia invenias laudem, & amicos pares. Teren.Such love shall justly deserve, and easily procure love back again; love free from envy, respect without constraint. Oh … that you dear Children! may walk with so happy, so even a foot in all your waies.