Two Treatises, Narrative
A Narrative of the holy Life and Death of the Lady Katharine Courten.
Some uſeful Obſervations upon the latter part of the Life, and the Righteous Death of the Right Honourable, the Lady Katharine Courten, one of the younger Daughters of the Right Honourable, John, late Earl of Bridgewater, and late wife of Will. Courten Eſq;.
I Shall not undertake the pourtraiture of this excellent Lady from head to foot; partly becauſe the circumſtances of her birth, breeding and education, were much the ſame with her elder Siſters, whoſe Copy I have given more fully, ſo as I ſhould but repeat the ſame things again; partly becauſe indeed, till the latter two years of her life, ſhe was not at all known to me; and partly becauſe that part of her life was it alone, wherein ſhe made not her ſelf known to the world.
It was about the firſt day of April, anno 1650. that her Lap (having received an invitation from her noble Siſter (whom we have formerly in this treatiſe diſcourſed of) came to ſpend the retired part of her life with her at Chaplifield-houſe in Norwich. Her time of health with us was about three quarters of a year; the other was her dying time.
I will ſuppoſe that none who knew her derived from Adam, will think ſhe was not ſubject to like paſſions and infirmities with others of the ſame blood: but as theſe were not ſuch, but were conſiſtent enough with eminent degrees of grace; ſo neither were they her pleaſure, but her burthen. And the Apoſtle tells us, that we have an High Heb. 4. 16.Prieſt, who can have compaſſion upon our infirmities, being touched with a feeling of them; having been in all points tempted like as we are, only without ſin.
I ſhall only copy out this excellent ſervant of God, ſo far, as the abundant grace of God appeared in her, for our conſolation, and our imitation of her example.
Six things I obſerved in her, in the daies of her health, ſpeaking much of the grace of God beſtowed on her.
1. The firſt was her chearful, quiet, thankful ſubmiſſion to Divine Providence. I have not known (hardly read of any, Job alone excepted) whom the Lord was pleaſed to blow upon with a ſeries of ſharper providences, than he did upon this eminent Lady; he had even made her a mark for all his arrows: I have often thought her afflicted condition much parallel to that of Job; he had great ſubſtance, dear relations, an healthful body, and in a moment loſt the comfort of them all.
This noble Lady was removed from the great plenty of her Fathers houſe, by marriage, to William Courten, Son and her of Sir William Courten, with whom ſhe enjoyed a plenteous eſtate, inferiour to few ſubjects of England; Silver was with her as duſt, and as the ſtones of the field. He gave her an Husband, who was to her the man of her boſom, the delight of her eyes, and as the breath of her noſtrils, he bleſſed them both with a numerous off ſpring: Thus he had made her mountain to ſtand ſtrong; and in this height of her proſperity, ſhe began to ſay, I ſhall never be moved. But it was not long before the Lord hid the face of his providence from her, and ſhe was troubled. Firſt he ſtrips off her branches, taking away one child after another, until only one Son, and one Daughter were left unto her. Then he cauſeth an Eaſt-wind to blow upon her eſtate, ſcattering, and breaking the ſhips that went for treaſures to the Indies, every year bringing ſome ſad tydings or other of this nature, until the Lord had ſtript her naked; and her deareſt Husband was not only ruined as to his whole eſtate, but involved in an irrecoverable debt; and this noble Lady, who lately equalized her greateſt friends, in an affluence of the good things of this life, became into a condition of dependance upon them, and through the violence of men, is ſeparated from her deareſt relation, who was now conſtrained in a remote Land to ſeek himſelf a City of Refuge, and to ſecure her ſelf from the ſnare of an oath (which ſhe judged unnatural) it was, that ſhe retired to her noble Siſter at Norwich; yet in all this ſhe charged not God fooliſhly: The Lord had given, and the Lord had taken, and ſhe bleſſed the Name of the Lord; with a meek and quiet ſpirit humbly kiſſing the Rod of God that was upon her, and holding her peace, becauſe it was the Lords doing, who ſhe freely acknowledged might do with her and hers, what he pleaſed; and ſhe could not ſay unto him, what doſt thou? Yea not only ſo, but taken up with the admiration of the goodneſs of God to her, ſeen in the readineſs of her noble friends to ſhew kindneſs to her and her remaining children in their afflicted ſtate; and much more affected with this, than with any trouble for Gods ſeverer diſpenſations to her. I have often heard her ſay, That ſhe now ſaw more of the goodneſs of God in one ten pounds which a friend ſent her, and could better acknowledge it, than ſhe did before in thoſe many thouſands which were her own. Nay, when after all this, it pleaſed the Lord to return upon her, and to lay his hand upon her skin and fleſh, viſiting her with a tormenting, incurable diſeaſe; yet ſhe laid her hand upon her mouth; and not only acknowledged the Lords juſtice, but alſo admired his mercy; and if at any time it pleaſed God to give her any reſpiration from her tormenting pains, how ſtraightened was her tongue in the expreſſing the thankfulneſs of her heart? how did praiſe wait in her thankful ſoul for God? Sometimes indeed I ſaw her troubled at Gods more external diſpenſations to her; and that to a degree beyond what could be called a juſt ſenſe of them; but upon diſcourſe with her, I conſtantly found the cauſe. Either a bitter reflection upon the influence, which the ſad providence of God, blaſting her dear Husbands eſtate, had upon many other perſons and families which ſhe could never think on without tears, and which ſhe would often profeſs more troubled her, than her own, her deareſt husbands and childrens concerns: Or elſe ſome fears heightened in her by the advantage her ſubtil adverſary took of her afflicted ſtate, leſt the Rod of God ſhould be an indication of his wrath; the dread of which infinitely more troubled her, than her low condition, as to the comforts of this life, upon which the Lord had taught her to ſet a very cheap valuation. Verily it hath often ſtartled me, to ſuppoſe my ſoul in her ſouls ſtead, and to think what I ſhould have been, under ſuch diſpenſations, as it pleaſed God to meaſure out to her, which ſhe imbraced with wondrous degrees of meekneſs and chearfulneſs.
2. A ſecond thing eminently conſpicuous in this Excellent Lady, was, her exceeding tenderneſs of conſcience, and watchful jealouſie over her own heart. It would have made a good Chriſtian to have ſuſpected himſelf to have ſeen her ſcrupuloſity of every action, how wary ſhe was in ſetting every foot, how afraid of the leaſt ſin againſt God; ſhe often diſcovered unto me (living with her under the ſame roof) the ſtate of her ſoul, what ſhe found, what ſhe wanted, what ſhe reſolved upon, what grievances, and what comforts at any time ſhe had; but ſcarce ever did it without adjuring me to be ſaithful unto her, in telling her what I judged of her condition in reference to eternity: indeed the hearing her ſtrictly charging me not to flatter her, but to deal faithfully with her, hath often made me tremble, leſt through temptation or weakneſs, I ſhould fall ſhort of my duty to her. Indeed, ſhe was over-jealous, and through fear of ſin, would ſometime ſcruple what was her duty, yea her greateſt duty: How often did I hear from her theſe words?
Oh Sir, Satan is very buſie, he would have me let go my hold on my dear Saviour; but I am reſolved to keep it until I die; Sir, may I not? I beſeech you tell me if you think I may not.
3. A third thing was, her admirable love to publick Ordinances. She might truly ſay with David, How amiable are thy Tabernacles O Lord of Hoſts? This very thing was her great motive to chuſe her dear Siſters family for the place of her receſs, and rejoyce in it, by reaſon of the private Chapel, where the Ordinances of God were ordinarily diſpenſed, and ſhe could attend them without any publick notice taken of her (as beſt ſuited her preſent condition) ſhe was never either abſent from, or tardy at a Sermon, when by reaſon of the prevailing of her bodily diſtempers, ſhe could not go down the ſtairs, ſhe choſe rather to be carried down, than to miſs the Ordinance, till her Phyſicians advice reſtrained her: Nor was her carriage at Religious exerciſes leſs exemplary; her outward poſture diſcovered with what reverence and trembling ſhe heard the holy Word of God; ſhe received the Word of God as the Word of God.
4. Her ſecret communion with God was as remarkable. Her way was not to ſet a trumpet to her mouth, when ſhe went to her devotions; but whatever company was in the houſe, ſhe was exceeding certain to her hours of ſecret prayer; and in her diſcourſe continually commended it, as that by which a Chriſtian comes beſt to underſtand his own heart; and by her countenance and diſcourſe, when ſhe came from her cloſet, it was eaſie for us who converſed with her, to judge what ſhe had been doing: ſhe was much in prayer, much in tears, much in reading the holy Scriptures, in reading over good books, and notes of Sermons, which her ſelf had taken; and (as we could judge by her diſcourſe) much in the application of what ſhe read to her own ſoul, and examining her heart by them. Thus you have her copy towards God, though the lineaments of her perfections in this are imperfectly drawn, and much is left to be underſtood. I omit any diſcourſe of her intellectual and moral virtues; ſhe was a Lady of great knowledge, prudence, humility, modeſty, gravity and ſobriety of behaviour, temperance, courteſie, nobleneſs of ſpirit, &c. but my deſign is to ſhew you how far ſhe was an excellent Chriſtian.
5. A fifth thing remarkable in her, was, her well ordered tender love to her deareſt relations. None could by the dejection of her countenance have known that the providence of God had blown croſs upon her, had not ſome ſad thoughts for the exiled ſtate of her dear Husband, ſometimes darkened her joy, and diſturbed her thoughts; nor was her love ſeen only in fond expreſſions, and a fondneſs of behaviour, in which the love of the moſt evaporates. Her husband and childrens perſon were exceeding dear to her; but their ſouls were more exceeding dear: She was acquainted with no Chriſtian, whom ſhe did not importune for prayers for her dear huſband and children. I remember it was her great requeſt to me in a great ſickneſs which ſhe had about a year before ſhe died, when we thought ſhe had received the ſentence of death, That I would not in any prayers forget her husband and children when ſhe ſhould ceaſe to be; for her husband, that God would be with him, and keep him from the temptations and pollutions of that Popiſh Country into which the Providence of God had driven him: And for her children, that Jeſus Chriſt might be formed in them. It was the great ambition of this Elect Lady, that her children might be found walking in the Truth; this was the portion ſhe deſired for them; this the treaſure, even a treaſure in Heaven, where moth could not corrupt, nor thief break through nor ſteal. How far it pleaſed God to hear her, her worthy and only Son (yet ſurviving) being at that time in his childhood) is a living teſtimony, who, as by his religious and virtuous diſpoſition, he demonſtrates that the prayers of his Mother were not ineffectual for him, nor the Law of his Mother forgotten by him: So having ſince the death both of his Mother and Father viſited Italy (where his Father died) is able to ſatisfie the world, that his Father died in the communion of the Proteſtant Church (notwithſtanding the impudent aſſertions of ſome Popelings amongſt us) being ſo kept by the power of God; that although he daily converſed with perſons of that Religion, yet they were able to prevail nothing with him; but that he died in a perfect abomination of the ſuperſtitious vanities of that fond Religion, and left with his friend there, a perfect teſtimony of it to be communicated to his Son (as it was accordingly) and if there were no other, yet their denial of him a room amongſt them for a burial-place, and inforcing his friends to bury him in the place of their Hereticks (of which his ſurviving Son can teſtifie) is a teſtimony beyond the contradiction of any, unleſs ſuch whoſe tongues are leſs conſiderable, becauſe they reſolve to keep them under no government of Truth.
6. A ſixth thing remarkable in this Excellent Lady, was, her faithfulneſs to her friend: Not an ordinary faithfulneſs ſeen in keeping counſels, and concealing ſeerets, in ordinary help and aſſiſtance, but a ſpiritual faithfulneſs, diſcerned in a prudent admoniſhing and reproving her friends, not ſuffering ſin upon them; a piece of faithfulneſs exceeding rare in this flattering age: nor in this would ſhe ſpare her deareſt relations, were her affection to them never ſo great, her obligations never ſo many, ſhe truly judged that her affections were thus beſt ſhewn, her obligations thus beſt diſcharged, by ſaving their ſouls from death; remembring that of Solomon; As an ear-ring of gold, and as an ornament of fine gold; ſo is a wiſe reproof upon an obedient ear.
Whoſo looked wiſtly upon her in the daies of her liberty, ſaw theſe chains about her neck, theſe jewels of grace adorning her converſation, her carriage was grave and ſober, yet innocently facete and chearful. The nobleneſs of her ſpirit diſcovered it ſelf in a ſweet affability and courteſie of behaviour towards all, an admiſſion of perſons far beneath her quality, to a great freedom of converſe with her, eſpecially if they were ſuch as feared God, and whom ſhe diſcerned to have any experience in his waies. As God had indued her with a rare degree of knowledge, a piercing wit, and a notable judgement, and other rare parts and indowments; ſo it was her conſtant buſineſs to make an improvement of them for his glory. Her delight was in the Book of God, in that ſhe read, in that ſhe meditated night and day. The hours ſhe ſpent out of her cloſet, not in Publick Ordinances (which were not many) were uſually ſpent by her in diſcourſes tending to edification; nor was ſhe ever more in her element, than when by debate with others ſhe was ſifting out ſome truth, in order to the further information of her judgement, or guidance of her practice: ſhe was impatient of hearing what ſhe conceived was contrary to truth, or which gave way to the leaſt ſin againſt God; which evidently ſhewed, that a zeal for God had eaten her up; though poſſibly ſometimes her paſſion betrayed her to ſome failing, through ſome miſapprehenſions from which ſhe could not be concluded free, being a Daughter of Adam, ſubject to like infirmities with others.
Thus, for ſome few months, ſhe went out, and came in with us, and we began to bleſs our ſelves in the providence of God, who had ſent amongſt us ſo eminent an example of holineſs to go before us, and to be an helper to us in the waies of God. But our wiſe God would let us know that we rejoyced in a gourd that might go down in a night.
To make her a perfect pattern of his free grace; he who in his wiſdom had already taken away the moſt of her children, bereaved her of the comfort of her deareſt yokefellow, and ſtript her naked of her worldly affluences, returns again, and viſits her perſon with his ſevere afflicting hand.
The nature of her diſtemper was ſuch as it at firſt confined her to her chamber, and at once deprived her both of her health, and what ſhe valued far more, her ordinary liberty of enjoying God in his Publick Ordinances: yet for ſeveral months, ſhe was not a cloſe priſoner, but had the liberty of her chamber, an ability to diſcourſe with her friends, and enjoyed much freedom in family-communion with God, and her more ſecret communion with him.
But this was not enough to ſatisfie her thirſty ſoul; ſhe would now be often crying out, How amiable are thy Tabernacles O God? my ſoul longeth, yea even fainteth for the Courts of God. My heart and my fleſh cryeth out for the living God. The Sparrow hath found an houſe, and the Swallow a neſt; where ſhe might lay her young, even thine Altars O Lord of Hoſts my King, my God.
During the time of this confinement to her chamber, ſhe had little (as before) to divert her thoughts from a too much poring upon Gods ſad diſpenſations to her; her affliction alſo was now doubled through want of Publick Ordinances; her bodily diſtemperature daily increaſed upon her: ſhe very ſ…ldom heard from her Husband; and what ſhe heard, was but ſad tydings, adding ſtill affliction to affliction, one ſorrow to another. This indeed was a fit time for our grand adverſary, to play his game; and he who is watchful enough upon all opportunities to ruine our ſouls, could not miſs ſo fair a one as was here offered. While ſhe was therefore in the wilderneſs of ſolitude and affliction. the tempter came; and even from this time to her dying day, he inceſſantly followed her with ſucceſſive temptations, if it had been poſſible to have baffled her ſaith and hope in God.
You read in Scripture of Satans Depths, Devices, Methods: Many a deviſe he uſed; into many a depth he dived: various were the methods he practiſed, for the final ruine of this rare and excellent perſon; but it was not poſſible to deſtroy her Elect ſoul for which Chriſt had died.
Have you ſeen or read of the General of an Army, ſighting a potent and a ſubtil adverſary, how he gains his ground by inches; now gains, and by and by loſeth what he hath got, being forced to give the ground he had gained; and again to diſpute for what he was once poſſeſſed of: Have you ſeen the adverſary inforced to retreat; but retreating to another work, and being forced from that, retreating to a third: this you might have ſeen in this ſpiritual fight betwixt this cminent Lady, and the great Dragon.
1 Tempt. Her firſt Temptation was, to doubt of Gods love, and to diſtruſt him for her eternal ſalvation, becauſe of Gods ſad diſpenſations to her. This was one of Satans weakeſt batteries, yet ſo managed and advantaged with the increaſe of her trials, that for ſome weeks ſhe had much ado to grapple with her adverſary here. I having the advantage of frequent diſcourſe with her Ladiſhip, and perceiving the ſtone upon which ſhe ſtumbled, indeavoured her aſſiſtance, partly remembring her,
1. Of what Solomon ſaith, That none can judge of love or hate by all that is before him: Eccleſ. 9. 1.For it may fall out alike to him that is ſpiritually wiſe, and to him that is ſpiritually a fool.
2. Partly by minding her of what the Apoſtle tells us, That God chaſteneth whom he Heb. 12. 6.loveth, and ſcourgeth every one whom he receiveth.
3. Partly arguing thus with her; If afflictions be tokens of divine wrath, then health and proſperity are ſigns of divine love, which is evidently ſalfe.
4. Par…ly by remembring her of the many examples of Gods children in Scripture, to whom God had wrung out bitter waters in a full cup; who yet at that time when they were ſo afflicted, were undoubtedly beloved of God, and exceeding precious in his eyes. Such were Joſeph, David, Job, Daniel, and many others recorded in Scripture. With theſe, and ſuch like Arguments I had ſatisfied her ſanctified reaſon and judgement, and thought I ſhould have heard no more of this temptation. But ſoon after it was inforced. Two things ſhe had to ſay:
1. The greatneſs of her affliction ſpake more than a chaſtiſement with a rod; ſhe was ſcourged with Scorpions.
2. The Lords multiplying afflictions, and repeating ſad Providences to her, ſeemed to argue that he had a quarrel againſt her: Why elſe ſhould he return upon her body, when he had ſerved an execution upon all ſhe had beſides. To this I replied;
1. That the afflictions of Gods people are not called cha…iſements, becauſe they are l…ght or little; but becauſe they come from the hand of a gracious Father, not as legal demands of ſatisfaction to divine Juſtice offended, becauſe they flow from a principle of love, not of wrath, and are deſigned to a gracious end.
2. That for the multitude of them: Job had as many, yet was a perſon ſingularly beloved of God; and one of whom God gave teſtimony, that there was not one like him in all the Eaſt.
3. That as the afflictions of Job were of divers hands, and exceeding heavy; ſo the ſucceſſion of them was much like to hers. God firſt took away his children, then his eſtate; and laſt of all, let looſe Satan upon his perſon, and gave him a liberty to tempt him.
With theſe, and ſuch like conſiderations, I endeavoured to arm her againſt this fiery dart; at laſt it pleaſed him, who was therefore tempted, that he might be able to ſuccour thoſe that were tempted; by his mighty power to lift her over this ſtone of ſtumbling, and ſhe became fully ſatisfied, that ſhe could neither from the greatneſs, nor multitude of her trials, conclude any thing againſt the love of God to her.
2. Tempt. If during her afflictions ſhe did not alſo want the inward conſolations of the holy Spirit; but alas! (ſaith ſhe) I have no inward aſſurance of Gods love; no ſenſible conſolations, &c.
Perceiving that her adverſary had betaken himſelf to a new battery, I endeavoured to direct her in the uſe of the Armour of God, for the rep…lling of his darts thrown from hence, by offering to her conſideration,
1. That even Gods deareſt children have often wanted theſe influences of the Spirit: What elſe made David cry out, When wilt thou comfort me? and veſtor… unto me the joy of thy ſalvation. What elſe made the Spouſe Cant. 3 1. at ſuch a loſs for him whom her ſoul loved? What elſe cauſed thoſe ſad complaints of the Pſalmiſt? Pſal. 77.
To this ſhe replied, That it was true; but ſurely if ſhe indeed had any intereſt in God, he would not hide himſelf from one ſo preſſed with affl…ctions as ſhe was. God indeed might thus try his children, in health and at liberty; but would a tender Father ſo hide himſelf from ſo diſtreſſed and a dying child. This was hard to imagine of God who is Love.
I replied to this purpoſe, That ſenſible conſolations were not the neceſſaries of ſalvation. 2. That the love of God to his children, is far more ſeen in giving the ſoul neceſſaries, than accommodating it with ſuperfluities. 3. That God is no where in Scripture tyed by his promiſe to Saints, for the comforts of aſſurance to be given them in at this or that hour. 4. That it is a very great miſtake in Chriſtians, to judge they want the manifeſtations of the Spirit, becauſe they want theſe conſolatory reflections; for the Spirit manifeſteth it ſelf in the ſoul, as well by the influences of ſtrengthening and quickening, as comforting grace, and the witneſſings of it. That David was become like a bottle in the ſmoke, that his eyes failed for Gods Word, ſaying, When wilt thou comfort me? Pſal. 119. 82, 83. yet he was at that time Gods child; yea, the man according to his heart. That Job alſo (as might be gathered from ſeveral paſſages in his Book) often wanted theſe ſenſible manifeſtations; at laſt I commended a Sermon upon that ſubject to her; after the reading of which, her Spirit was more compoſed, and ſhe ſatisfied, that if ſhe could but find the ſtrengthening and quickening influences of divine grace, ſhe had no reaſon for want of ſenſible conſolations to conclude againſt her ſelf.
3 Tempt. Satan perceiving this fiery dart well nigh quenched, betakes him again to his quiver for another arrow: his next device was to perſwade her that ſhe wanted alſo the ſtrengthening grace of God; ſoon after I heard her ſpeaking to this ſenſe;
'Tis true (Sir) if I could but find the grace of God ſtrengthening me unto duty, againſt ſin, I think I ought not to caſt away my hope, though I do want aſſurance; that I am my Beloveds, and my Beloved mine; but alas I want this! Sir, I am now at ſuch a paſs, I cannot pray, &c. God hath laid his hand upon my mouth, and I cannot open it, ſo much as to ſay unto him, Abba Father.
Obſerving the ſubtilty of this crafty adverſary, to perſwade her from ſome partial weakneſſes, and thoſe alſo much occaſioned from bodily diſtempers, that ſhe wholly wanted the workings of the Spirit of Grace; I accordingly applied my ſelf to her.
She tells me, it was true, ſhe had learned from the Apoſtle, Rom. 8. 11. That if ſhe had the Spirit of Chriſt, ſhe was his; which way ſoever the Spirit (as the author of ſpecial and diſtinguiſhing grace) pleaſed to work in her; and ſhe did believe, That if the Spirit of him who raiſed up Jeſus from the dead, dwelt in Rom. 8. 11. 15. Gal. 4. 6. Rom. 8. 26.her; he that raiſed up Chriſt from the dead, ſhould alſo one day quicken her mortal body, by his Spirit dwelling in her. But, Sir, ſaid ſhe. this ſpirit is a ſpirit of ſupplication, a ſpirit of adoption, teaching to cry Abba Father; a ſpirit helping our infirmities in prayer. To which I replied,
1. That this was no more than the lot of Gods children: Aſaph (or whoever was the author of that 77 Pſalm) complained that he was ſo troubled he could not ſpeak.Pſal. 77. 4.
2. That the Lord had ſilenced her Ladiſhips tongue, by his own hand laid upon it, in a continual courſe of afflictions. Now, though God indeed requires of us the homage of our lips; Let me hear thy voice (ſaith Chriſt to his Spouſe, Cant. 2. 14.) for it is comely. And Take unto you words, and ſay, (ſaith the Prophet) yet he doth not expect this homage, where, by his providence, he diſchargeth our tongues of it.
3. That there is a praying without the voice, which alſo the Lord heareth. Groaning Pſa. 102. 5. Pſal. 6. 8.hath a voice, Pſal. 102. 5. and weeping a voice, Pſal. 6. 8. Hezekiah chattered like a Crane, yet the Lord heard him. In ſhort, I beſought her Ladiſhip to conſider, that the buſineſs of prayer was in Scripture expreſſed by wreſtling with God, by lifting up the eyes, hands, heart unto him; by pouring out of the ſoul before him; all which might be without the uſe of words. Thus Hannah prayed, and was 1 Sam. 1.anſwered; yet ſpake not a word: And I doubted not but her Ladiſhip thus could and did pray.
4. Finally, I deſired her Ladiſhip to obſerve that in Gal. 4. 6. God is ſaid to ſend his Gal. 4. 6.Spirit into our hearts, teaching us to cry Abba Father. And Rom. 8. 26. that the Spirit helpeth our infirmities with ſtrong cryes and groans, Rom. 8. 26.which could not be uttered. Now groans (at leaſt) are the language of the hearts. There is indeed another aſſiſtance of the holy Spirit, teaching us what to pray for; but this floweth not from the Spirit, in a way of ſpecial grace; but as it is the author of ſpiritual gifts, which thoſe might have who had no true intereſt in God, nor had received the Spirit of Chriſt, as a ſpirit of Sanctification. With theſe, and ſuch like conſiderations, I endeavoured to ſatisfie her Ladiſhip, who yet could hardly be ſatisfied, becauſe ſhe could not pay ſo full and perfect an homage to God, as formerly ſhe had done; but her unweariable adverſary again reneweth his aſſault. The next news which I heard was this:
4 Tempt. Sir, I have ſeriouſly thought upon what you told me, and am convinced, that though I ſpake never a word, yet if I could keep my heart lifted up to God, if I could wreſtle with him with my Spirit, this were acceptable prayer; but (whatever you may think,) I cannot do this: When at any time I compoſe my ſelf to prayer, I am tortured with pain, that I cannot do it; at other times through drewſineſs I fall aſleep, &c.
By this time her Ladiſhips tormenting diſtemperatures prevailed upon her to a great degree, ſo as night and day ſhe had little reſt, beyond the influence of Anodines ſtupifying her ſenſe. As ſoon as ſhe had taken theſe, ſhe uſed to compoſe her ſelf to ſecret prayer, by and by the operation of the medicine overtook her, and inforced ſleep: when the operation of the Anodine ceaſed, her pains returned, and ſhe awoke, and then, whenever ſhe compoſed her ſelf to it, her pains diſturbed her; only this ſhe added to her complaint (to find out any cauſe of which for a while poſed me.)
That although at firſt when ſhe compoſed her ſelf to look up to God, ſhe found not much pain; yet when ſhe was entered once into her duty, ſhe was ſure to be racked with the increaſe of her pain.
I know that the Devil is but a ſmall friend to our communion with God, and would in what he could hinder it: I alſo knew he had a natural power (God permitting the exerciſe of it) by which he could diſturb bodily humours, and divert them to an affected part; but not willing to impute it to a praeternatural cauſe (unleſs quite at loſs) upon further deliberation, I conceived there might be this natural cauſe of it.
This good Lady deſired when ſhe ſerved the Lord, to ſerve him with her ſpirit; and when ſhe addreſſed her ſelf to God, ſummoned up all her ſpirits to do it with the more intention of mind, and fervour of ſpirit: Now this I conceived might be a natural cauſe of the increaſe of her pain at ſuch a time, in regard that her ſpirits, which were wont to ſerve her body in the ſupportation of her under her affliction, were at this time drawn up to another imployment; and the ſeveral parts of her body at preſent left deſtitute, it might give a natural advantage to her infirmity; but this was but my particular fancy. I told her,
1. That ſhort ejaculations were moſt ſuitable to her preſent condition, and were heard of God, as well as longer prayers; for we are not heard for our much ſpeaking.
2. I minded her of a ſpeech of Mr. Rutherfords; If I were in health, I would deſire but to caſt one long look toward Heaven.
3. I told her, it was unreaſonable for her Ladiſhip to conclude her ſelf to want the ſtrengthening influences of the holy Spirit, becauſe as to this or that act of duty, poſſibly ſhe might not diſcern ſuch an influence of it. It was likely that if her Ladiſhip examined as to many other duties ſhe might find it, and that with an evidence not to be denied.
4. I further told her, the influence of the ſpirit was moſt eminently ſeen in its workings, in ſtrengthening the ſoul to thoſe exerciſes of grace, which are moſt proper for our day; the preſent condition and diſpenſation I meant, under which we are; and that Faith and Patience were thoſe graces, the exerciſe whereof God more peculiarly requires of his children in a day of affliction; and if her Ladiſhip found the Spirit of God infuſing, or exerting theſe habits, ſhe need not doubt of the ſtrengthening influences of the Spirit: With theſe things her Lad…ſhip for a while ſeemed ſatisfied, but her diſtempers ſtill increaſed; and during the violence of them, put her into a great diſorder: Satan ſtill followed his game, and ſoon after ſhe tells me;
5 Tempt. Ah (Sir!) you told me that Faith and Patience are thoſe graces, the exerciſe of which is moſt proper to my condition; and if I found the holy Spirit infuſing, or ſtrengthening me to the exerciſe of theſe habits, I might be aſſured that I was not without the ſtrengthening influences of the Spirit; though I did not find ſuch an aſſiſtance as I deſired to every particular duty. But Sir, you ſee, I am very impatient, reſtleſs in my ſelf, froward with every body about me; I cannot be ſilent under the hand of God, nor keep my ſelf from roaring, &c. And for Faith (S…r) you know I have told you I have no aſſurance, ſometimes ind…ed I have had what I judged a flaſh of the light of Gods countenance: Once I remember, after you had been praying with me, and in your prayer mentioned and pleaded many promiſes: it pleaſed God (as I thought) to ſeal ſome of them to my ſoul, and at ſome other times, that firſt word which God was pleaſed to ſeal unto my ſoul, 1 Col. 27. Chriſt in you the hope of Glory, hath been returned to my ſoul, and comforted me, but I cannot call this aſſurance; doubting quickly returned, and now Satan would have me let go alſo my hold on Chriſt, but I am reſolved not to let it go until I die; ſhall I not ſo reſolve? I beſeech you Sir, tell me, ſhould I not ſo reſolve?
To this I replied;
1. That I rejoyced to hear her Ladiſhip acknowledging, that God had ſometimes ſealed promiſed unto her ſoul; that thoſe impreſſions did not abide conſtant, was not to be wondred at, it being rarely the lot of any child of God to walk in the conſtant light of his countenance: but I humbly conceived her Ladiſhip had great ground to call theſe impreſſions of the Spirit of God upon a threefold account.
1. They were made upon her ſoul after earneſt prayer.
2. They came to one in a dark, ſad and afflicted condition, and to an awakened conſcience, and to one who had for ſome time deſired to walk cloſe with God; and this after long and patient waiting for God.
3. The return of that word in which the Lord had made her ſoul firſt to hope, was a great evidence to me, that the Author of the firſt, was alſo the Author of the ſecond impreſſion.
2. I rejoyced more to her Ladiſhips grant, that her Faith of adherence was ſtrengthened, and ſo ſtrengthened, as ſhe was reſolved not to let it go until ſhe died: In which reſolution I humbly beſought her Ladiſhip to perſiſt; I intreated her Ladiſhip to conſider, that there are not two better marks of a ſtrong Faith, than
1. The reſiſtance, and repelling of temptations to doubt.
2. The caſting of our ſouls upon God, and adhering to the promiſe, though we want incouragement of ſenſe: with Abraham, to believe in hope above hope: This indeed is a ſtrong faith, and gives much glory to God. And indeed I thought I never was a witneſs to the actings of a ſtronger faith, than that of this noble perſon: in the midſt of her ſaddeſt torments, of her darkeſt hours, when ſhe was even diſtracted through pain and terrours, ſhe would cry out to all our amazement; It is my ſtrong hold, I will not let it go; no, I will not let it go; I am reſolved I will not let it go; let Satan ſuggeſt what he will, it is my ſtrong hold, I have committed my ſelf unto Chriſt, &c. Thus ſhe would cry out, bitterly weeping while ſhe ſpake in great Agonies of her ſpirit.
3. As to Patience, I deſired her Ladiſhip to conſider, that the grace of patience was not a Roman fortitude, carrying one out under an affliction, without any expreſſion of paſſion; this an Heathen might do without any aſſiſtance of diſtinguiſhing grace: and ſome diſtempe…atures were ſuch, as the beſt Chriſtians could not ſo bear them: David roared; Job complained; Chriſt himſelf cryed out, My God, My God. Patience is a ſacred influence of grace, by which we are inabled in the hour of affliction, to hope in God whom we ſee not, and meekly to ſubmit to him under his ſeverer diſpenſations, without any murmuring, repining, or any frowardneſs of behaviour. I told her, that although her Ladiſhip did ſometimes roar out, through extremity of pain, and were reſtleſs through torments; yet the grace of patience was evidently made manifeſt in her ſoul, in her humble owning the Juſtice of God; kiſſing his rod; never repining, nor murmuring at his diſpenſations; only deſiring ſtrength to bear what he would pleaſe to lay upon her, and her willingneſs to die or live, as he ſhould pleaſe to order (for it was now patience in her to be content to live) finally in her willingneſs (in obedience to Gods command and ordinances) (though ſhe earneſtly deſired death) yet to uſe all means (though ſhe had no hope of cure) to prolong a miſerable life ſo long as God pleaſed.
4. Finally, I told her, that although poſſibly ſometimes in the height of her diſtempers, ſome ſpeeches might ſound ſome impatience and unbelief; when the extremity of her pain had almoſt totally deprived her of the uſe of her reaſon; yet God would not impute this to her; for he weighs our performances with our temptations. So the Apoſtle ſaith, You have heard of the patience of Job: he that looks in the ſtory will find much in Job, which we ſhould call impatience; he curſed the day of his birth, chap. 3. And we find in his ſtory, many other very paſſionate and diſtempered ſpeeches; yet the Apoſtle ſaith not, you have heard of the paſſion and frowardneſs; but you have heard of the patience of Job. Though Job ſometimes were very impatient; yet the Lord conſidering Jobs patience, with his temptations, records him as a patient man, and ſo patient, as to be propounded to his Saints in following ages, as an example of patience: he ſaith not, you have heard of the paſſion or frowardneſs; but you have heard of the patience of Job. In ſhort, I told her Ladiſhip, that we who were ſpectators, could not but judge her (in the free uſe of her reaſon) full both of faith and patience: for her few diſtempered hours, as they were not in number equal to the reſt; ſo neither would her tender Father judge her for them.
By theſe, and other Arguments, through Gods aſſiſtance, ſhe ſeemed at laſt ſatisfied, that although ſhe yet wanted the conſolations of the Spirit; yet ſhe was not without the ſtrengthening influences of it.
But yet her adverſary would not leave her; his next temptation was from her apprechended want of Gods quickening grace; to which purpoſe ſhe replies again:
6. Tempt. Sir, I remember you told me, that though I wanted the conſolations of the Spirit; yet if I found its quickening influences, I had no reaſon to deſpond: but (Sir) I want theſe; my head, and my heart is dull; there is no life left in my ſpirit; I lift up a lifeleſs ſoul to God in prayer; never was any in ſo dull and dead a condition as I am.
To this I replied;
1. That if her Ladiſhip found the ſtrengthening influences of the holy Spirit, they would evidence a ſtate of juſtification and favour with God; now thoſe were evident in her Ladiſhip; how elſe did her Ladiſhip in her dark condition, commit her ſelf unto God? reſt upon him and patiently wait for him.
2. That as to quickening grace it was ſeen: 1. In exciting the ſoul to duty. 2. In inclining the ſoul in duty, ſo as it performeth it with alacrity, delight and vigour; and for the latter, it works in us by aſſiſting us in the improvement of our natural parts and powers: now this aſſiſtance might be wanting to her Ladiſhip, through the indiſpoſition of thoſe Organs, by, and through the means of which the Spirit perfecteth theſe operations: and her Ladiſhip muſt conſider, that her ſpirits were tired with ſucceſſion of pain, and ſtupified by anodines medicines, which her learned Phyſician thought proper for her for the allevation of her pain, which otherwiſe would ſoon have deſtroyed her: That her dulneſs was no more to holy duties, than to any thing elſe, and (as I conceived) wholly occaſioned through theſe natural cauſes.
4. Laſtly, I told her it was manifeſt, that God had not wholly withdrawn his quickening grace from her, from her ſenſe of her preſent diſtemperature, and the quickening of her ſoul to the duty; though ſhe did not find ſuch quickening in the duty as ſhe deſired, ſhe might truly ſay, I ſleep, but my heart waketh. Her heart was awake to a ſenſe of her infirmity; though ſhe ſlept in reſpect of ſo full an ability to perform the duty with that life and chearfulneſs which ſhe deſired, and had formerly experienced. I further told her, that Gods deareſt ſervants, under ſad afflictions, or partial deſertions, had wanted degrees of quickening grace. How often doth David cry out, Lord quicken me, Pſal. 119. 25, 88, 154, 107. Pſal. 143, 11, &c.
It was ſome time before ſhe could be convinced of this, that it was an evidence of quickening grace, for her ſoul under its heavineſs, to be kept awake with the ſenſe of her duty, and labour under the burthen of its infirmity; but at laſt ſhe was as to this alſo in ſome meaſure ſatisfied.
And now her adverſary was inforced in a great meaſure to quit all his ſtrong holds. Some of theſe temptations returned, but her judgement was eſtabliſhed, her faith ſtrengthened, and ſhe was never after kept long in bondage to any of them, for an hour or two, or for a night; ſhe might be in captivity to ſome of them; but one might eaſily diſcern, from her adverſaries ſhifting from one temptation to another, that his ſtrength was tired and he about to leave her ſoul.
7 Tempt. Yet after this could one have thought, that her adverſary ſhould have offered any ſuggeſtion to her, to have deſtroyed her ſelf. But as to this temptation (to which her ſpiritual adverſary had a great advantage from the inexpreſſible torturing pains which ſhe felt) ſhe was not with more advantage, violence, and ſubtilty moved, than through grace ſtrengthened, in the reſiſting and repelling of it: ſhe was not wont to parley with her adverſary, not affected to keep his counſels: once and again ſhe was thus ſolicited. But as God inabled her with indignation, to ſay, Get thee behind me Satan; ſo he g…ve her wiſdom to diſcover it to her deareſt friends, and he quickly gave over this temptation.
For ſome time before the Lord tranſlated this ſervant of his, he had prepared her for her diſſolution, by creating in her ſtrong deſires to be diſſolved that ſhe might be with Chriſt. She was much prone to ſuſpect her own ſincerity, and would tell me.
That ſhe ſometimes feared leſt ſhe ſhould deſire death only to be freed from her pain; but ſhe hoped ſhe did not deſire it upon that account.
For ſome weeks before ſhe died, ſhe had many fainting and Convulſion fits; in every one almoſt of which, we expected her change: when ſhe recovered out of any of them, ſhe would be almoſt angry at her ſouls recovery; and uſally her firſt word was, Muſt I yet live longer? I remember above ſix months before her death, I being in Eſſex, wrote a cenſolatory Letter to her Ladiſhip, in which I had this paſſage amongſt others:
Madam! if ever we come in Heaven, poſſibly we have many months or years Journey thither, through this wilderneſs; your Ladiſhip (probably) may be there in twelve months (to that purpoſe) when I returned, her Ladiſhip thank… me for my Letter, and told me, it much refreſhed her; but ſhe was troubled that I ſhould think ſhe had yet twelie months Journey to Heaven; ſhe chearſully told me, ſhe hoped ſhe had a ſhorter voyage.
When the adverſary of her ſalvation perceived he could not baffle her hope, nor make the hand of her faith to ſhake; but ſtill ſhe was reſolved to keep her hold on Chriſt, and that her ſoul was willing, yea deſirous to be diſſolved and to be with Chriſt.
8 Tempt. He once more attempts to ſpoil her comfort, and moleſts her with extreme fears of a bitter death; and that her ſaith would then fail, and her courage abate. This (I think) was his laſt aſſault diſcerned by us, her Ladiſhip was pleaſed to impart her fears to me: I humbly beſought her Honour, that now ſhe had prevailed againſt Satans horſemen; ſhe would not ſuffer her ſelf to be trampled by his footmen. I told her Ladiſhip,
1. That it was probable that God would give her whom he had made a combatant with ſo long, and ſharp an affliction at laſt to depart in peace.
2. That it was not probable, that her dying pangs would be more ſharp and violent, than what ſhe had already indured, and was yet induring.
3. That ſhe had no reaſon to diſtruſt that God who had ſtrengthened her in ſo many hours and nights, and daies of torturing pain, for his aſſiſtance in the laſt hour, which if it had more of weight and bitterneſs, yet would have leſs in length.
4. That he in whom ſhe had truſted, the Lord Jeſus Chriſt had taken away the bitterneſs of death, and payed a price for his Saints perſeverance in it; ſo that never any held out to the end, who at laſt was left, and failed in it.
5. I defired her Ladiſhip to digeſt that text, Heb. 2. 14, 15. For as much as the children were partakers of fleſh and blood, he alſo took part with them of the ſame, that through death be might deſtroy him that had the power of death, even the Devil, and deliver them who through fear of death were all their life-me ſubject to bondage.
Soon after this her diſtemperature yet heightened, her pains grew exceeding great, and ſo continued for ſome daies, till about 4 daies before her death, which yet it pleaſed God to inable her to endure with an admirable patience, ſtill ſhe kept her hold faſt in God, profeſſing to me even in her higheſt fits of diſtemper, that the Lord was her hope; and ſhe had an hold on him, and would not let it go, let God do what he pleaſed with her, and Satan ſuggeſt what he could unto her.
Some ſour daies before her death, it pleaſed God that her pains were in ſome degrees abated; and now by this experience of Gods ſupportation of her in her laſt ſad r…turn of pain, ſhe grew confident that ſhe ſhould be able to ſtand in the hour of death.
The day before ſhe died, was to her a day of great reviving; ſhe had not (of many weeks before) been ſo chearful and free from pain.
At noon coming in (as I was wont) to pray with her, I found her even raviſhed with the apprehenſions of Gods goodneſs to her, giving her ſome relaxation from pain: and I hope I ſhall not forget how earneſt ſhe was in preſſing me to praiſe the Lord with her, and for her.
After prayer ſhe continued very chearful; yet on the ſudden ſhe laid hold on my hand, and drew me to her, ſo as I perceived ſhe would whiſper ſomething in my car. I a little admired at her ſudden joy, and what ſhe had to ſay, inclining my head to her: when ſhe perceived her noble Siſter had turned her back, and was with the reſt of the company out of hearing, ſhe tells me, I think I may tell it you, you will not ſpeak of it, I believe I am very near my Fathers houſe.
I reſolved to keep her counſel, till I ſaw the iſſue, and the rather becauſe ſhe ſeemed to us further from death, than at any time for ſome weeks before: in this temper ſhe continued the remaining part of that day: it was the day when I was to preach my weekly Lecture; ſo that I returned not to her until the evening; when I found her as before, very chearful, and able to diſcourſe with me about a private buſineſs, as to which on the behalf of her friend, ſhe had improved her intereſt in a worthy Gentleman; ſhe had that night received a Latter from him, letting her know it was diſpatched, and took her leave of me, deſiring me to draw up a Letter of thanks to him, which ſhe would (as ſhe told me) the next day ſubſcribe, that it might be ſent by the next Poſt.
But it ſo pleaſed God, that by an inexpected turn of Providence, before morning her ſpirits failed her, and ſhe in a great meaſure loſt her ſpeech, and after ſpake very few words, only made ſigns to us to pray for her: Once ſhe ſaid, I fear, and by and by, I hope, I hope; and ſo quietly, without ſuffering any pain (ſo ſar as we could diſcern) ſhe yielded up her ſoul to God upon the 25th. day of March, 1652. about nine of the clock.
Thus ſhe fought the good fight, and kept the faith, and hath now put on the Crown of Glory, being entred into the actual poſſeſſion, and beatifical viſion, of thoſe things which eye hath not ſeen, nor ear heard, nor can it enter into the heart of man to conceive; even the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
She was buried at Blicklin, in the County of Norfolk, March 27. 1652.
With this Epitaph upon her grave-ſtone.
Here lyes one nobly born, once bleſt
With all the Riches of the Eaſt;
Then ſtript of all, and in the place;
Receiv'd of God riches of grace:
Theſe made her couetous to ſee,
The Mine whence came ſuch Treaſury:
Her ſoul for haſte there to appear
Clogg'd with the body, dropt it here
Engaging to it, in the morn
Of th' Reſurrection to return,
And reaſſume its Ʋnion.
Reader! weigh this, and then paſs on.