The Honor Due from Children, Chapter 1
CHAP. I.
OF the weight of the duty of Childrens Honouring of their Parents. Exod. 20. 12. Honour thy Father, and thy Mother, that thy dayes may be long in the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. The words which I have Read, are obvious to every common eye, and intelligible by every ordinary underſtanding, and therefore time need not be ſpent in any large opening of any obſcurity of phraſe in them. The parts of the Text alſo are as plainly manifeſt to be two: Firſt, a Precept, Honour thy Father, and thy Mother] Secondly, a promiſe incouraging to obey that precept: that thy daies may be long in the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.] In the precept you have, Firſt, the duty it ſelf injoyned, Honour,] Secondly, the perſons to whom the duty is injoyned, even the children to theſe Fathers and Mothers; yea each Child, of what ranck or condition ſoever, who is yet in the Land of the living, is required to perform this duty to living Father and Mother: and therefore it is put in the ſecond perſon ſingular; Honour thy Father, and thy Mother, that thy dayes may be long, &c.] Thirdly, the perſons, who by divine command are to be honoured by each Child, namely, each Childs Father, yea, and as well, each Childs Mother: Honour thy Father, and thy Mother.] The main terms then to be further conſidered of are, Firſt, that of Father and Mother. Secondly, that of Honour; and then we ſhall briefly explain the promiſe. By Father and Mother, moſt interpreters underſtand all ſuperiours. Firſt, ſuch as are above others, yet without Authory, properly, over them; as ſuch as are others ſuperiours, by much, in years; as are Antient men and women, to thoſe that are young, 1 Tim. 5. 1. or ſuch as are others betters, by much, in eminency of parts, poweſſe, experience, bounty, grace, &c. Gen. 45. 8. Job. 31. 18. 1 Chron. 4. 14, 21. 2 Rings 13. 14, 15. Secondly, ſuch as are others ſuperiours, having Authority over them, whether private: And that either by the Law of nature, as naturall Fathers Who are firſtly here intended by Father and Mother: even naturall Parents.and Mothers, who are principally here intended: Or by way of private contract, as Husbands who are wives ſuperiours: ſpecially Maſters, whether in the Family, 2 Kings 5. 13. or in the School, and College, 2 Kings 2. 12. who are as Fathers to to their Servants, Scholars, and Pupils. Or Secondly publick: even ſuch as have more publick Authority over others; either in the Commonwealth, as civill Rulers, Eſay 22. 21. 1 Sam. 24. 12. or in the Church, as Church officers teaching and ruling, Acts 22. 1. Judg. 18. 19. 2 Kings 6. 21. Now though with Muſculus, I will not reſtrain the meaning of the 5th Commandement, as only intending naturall Fathers & Mothers, and the honour due to them from their Children; yet becauſe it is undeniable to all, that theſe are principally intended here, & the other onelyonly in a ſecond place and reſpect, I ſhall therefore, (God willing) in the inſuing diſcourſe, attend to that, as firſtly and mainly aimed at here, and plainly, and ſimply expreſſed in the very letter of the Text.
Touching the other word, Honour: It is to be What is meant by Honour Even,conſidered both in generall, and in a reſtrained ſenſe. All meet honour, and every kind of regular honour, being due from Children to Parents, The Lord doth not ſay, love thy Father, and thy Mother, or fear them, or obey them, or recompence them, or be an honour to them: any one of theſe being too narrow, to reach ſo large a duty, as parentall relations call for from their children, and each of theſe being ſeparable from the other, and may be in other relations, where all the other are not ſo properly requiſite; yet no one of theſe are excluded, but all, and every of them included in the notion of Honour. Filiall Honour is the center wherein they all meet, and whence again they are all drawn out to their reſpective objects, Father and Mother. Filiall honour muſt ſeaſon them, each muſt ſavour of Honour. Filial Honour muſt regulate them all; they muſt go ſo far as that goeth, and no further. Filial honour Honour in the Generall, and Honour in ſpeciall, bothmuſt be their common ſtamp, the impreſſion whereof, each muſt bear. Due Filial honour muſt be their touchſtone, by which they muſt receive their triall.
Honour then in the Generall is Parents due from their children. So is Honour in ſpeciall; whether that which is more direct, or that which is in a more reflect way.
Honour in a direct way is, in Scripture language, 1. Direct,fourfold; even Honour, Firſt, of Reſpect, Secondly, of Reverence, Thirdly, of Obedience, Fourthly, of Recompence; and are all and each of them included in this generall term, Honour.
1. Honour of high Reſpect and love is underſtood as 1. Honour of Reſpect.in that, Pſal. 15. 4. He honoureth them that fear the Lord: that is, he highly eſteemeth, and reſpecteth, he moſt dearly loveth and affecteth them. 1 Tim. 5. 17. The Elders that Rule well, count them worthy of double Honour, i. e. of reſpect, as well as that of Recompence. 1 Pet. 3. 7. Giving Honour to them, as to the weaker veſſels, i. e. having a tender reſpect to them. 2 Sam. 6. 22. Of them ſhall I be had in Honour, i. e. highly eſteemed, reſpected, and intirely beloved. So here, Honour thy Father and thy Mother, i. e. highly priſe and reſpect, and moſt dearly love thy Father & thy mother, yea ſo as it be in a way of Honour to them as Parents, and not barely as others, not ſo nearly related.
2. Honour is taken in Scripture for Honour of Reverence and fear. So when God ſpeaketh of 2. Honour of Reverence.his Honour, as to a Maſter, he calleth it fear, Mal. 1. 6. if I am a Maſter, where is my fear? or Honour as a Maſter; hence that of Saul to Samuel, 1 Sam. 15. 30. Yet Honour me before the people; or let the people ſee that thou doeſt reverence me. Hence that Levit. 19. 32. honour the face of the old man, i. e. reverence it. So here, Honour thy Father and thy Mother i. e. reverence and awe them, in an honourable way to them as Parents, and not as others meerly, not ſo nearly related.
3. Honour is taken in Scripture, for Honour of 3. Honour of Obedience.Obedience. So Mat. 1. 6 if I am a Father, where is my Honour? i. e. of obedience. It being ſpoken to thoſe, Reſpectleſs, Awleſs, and alſo diſobedient Prieſts and People there mentioned. So Eph. 6. 1. to prove that Children ſhould obey their Parents in the Lord, the Apoſtle brings in the fifth Commandement, v. 2. Honour thy Father and thy Mother: becauſe if to Honour Father and Mother then to obey them, for obedience is, in part, the honor due to them; only they are to obey them, ſo as Honour of Parents may be ſeen, and read, as in large Characters, in all the Acts and paſſages of that obedience.
4. Honour is taken in Scripture, for Honour of 4. Honour of Recompence.Recompence, and thankfulneſs. Numb. 22. 37. cannot I Honour, or recompence thee Honourably (ſaith Balack to Balaam) It is the ſame Hebrew word with this in Exod. 20. 12. Judg. 13. 17. That when this is come to paſs, I may Honour thee, (i. e.) make thee ſome gratefull recompence. 1 Tim. 5. 17. Count them worthy of double Honour, i. e. that of Recompence, as well as that of reſpect. So here, Honour thy Father and thy Mother, 2. Reflect Honour, or being an Honour to them, and carrying of it ſo, as maketh for Parents Honour.i. e. as they need, and as thou art able, & haſt opportunity, make them thankfull recompence, onelyonly ſo as all may be as Honour to them, as Parents, and not in the leaſt ſavouring, or holding forth any diſhonour to them.
Honour in a Reflect way, is to be ſuch, or to carry it ſo, as may redound to anothers Honour, whom we are bound to Honour. 1 Sam. 15. 30. Honour me before the people, i. e. carry it ſo before them, as may not redound to my diſgrace, but honour. So in that alſo: if I am a Father, where is my Honour? Mal. 1. 6. i. e. why are not you, as my Children, an Honour to me, & not ſuch a diſhonour to my name, that my holy name and ordinances ſuffer reproach, and contempt by you; or why do not you carry it more honourably, ſo as may make for my honour, and not ſo baſely, as maketh for my great diſhonour. Eſter. 6 6. The man whom the King will honour, (i. e.) enact and do ſomething, making for his Honour. Judg. 13. 17. that I may do thee Honour, i. e. do ſomething, making for thine Honour. It is the ſame Hebrew word, and in the ſame conjugation with this verb in Exod. 20. 12. So here, Honour thy Father and thy Mother, i. e. be an honour to them, carry it ſo, as may redound to their honour, and no way to their disgrace.
The promiſe followeth, [That thy daies The promiſe explained.may belong in the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee] this further declareth who are firſtly concerned in the precept; namely, ſuch whoſe God the Lord is in ſpeciall ſort, ſuch like as the Jewes, to whom this land was firſt ſolemnly promulged, as in Exod. 20. is expreſſed: who were a people in eſpeciall Covenant with God, children of God, and of the Church, and of the Covenant: who profeſſed to look, not for a Portion in this world, ſo much as by that Land of promiſe to be led to a more ſpirituall and heavenly Canaan and reſt, of which that earthly Canaan was but a ſhadow, Heb. 4. though this Law being given to Adam in innocency, and ingraven in his heart, and the rootſtep, and impreſſion of it being yet left in the hearts of all men, by nature, and being one of Gods Morall Laws, it bindeth all and every Child of man, one or other, in general and in particular. In this promiſe, he doth not ſay, that thy life may be long in the world, but that thy dayes may be long in the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee; which to the Jews was the Land of Canaan, to others, the Land of their poſſeſſion, wherein, if honourers of Parents, children ſhall live long, if good for them; or if ordered by God to live leſs while, they ſhall have the bleſſing of long life. And ſo much for explication of the words; the doctrine which we ſhall (through divine Aſſiſtance) proſecute is this.
That children Honour their Parents; It is a duty The main doctrine. The weight of the duty of Honour of Parents proved.of greateſt moment and concernment.
Let us firſt evince the weightineſs of this duty, and then more fully handle the duty it ſelf.
Four reaſons, amongſt many, may be given to prove the weight of this duty, Honour thy Father and thy Mother.
1. Becauſe it is placed by the Law-giver himſelf 1. Becauſe next in order to the Commandements of the firſt Table, and before the Commandements of the ſecond Table.immediately next to the commandements of the 1. Table, as next in order to them, and before all the other Commandements of the 2. Table, as in order of duty, and dignity, preceding the ſame. It is made a ſweet cloſure, bond, and ſementing to both Tables, binding and faſtning each to other inviolably, and inſeparably. As this is more faſt or looſe; ſo are mens ſpirits more girt to the duties of both Tables, or more looſe from them. He that conſcientiouſly honoureth his Parents, he is aſſuredly conſcientious of honouring of God, in the firſt place, and his Parents for conſcience ſake unto the Lord▪ Piety to God-ward, as a cauſe, precedeth, in him, to this bleſſed duty, piety towards Parents, as to its effect. And therefore the Lord doth not without cauſe ſtile the duty of Children to Parents, by the name of piety, 1 Tim. 5. 4. let them learn of ſhew piety to them at home, and to requite their Parents; Piety being in the root, it is piety in the fruit, yea this bleſſed fruit, is a furthering means alſo, to promove all the acts of piety, which ſpring out of that root; if Children honour their Parents fully, and as they ought, they will, in obſervance of their Parents counſels and commands, be more carefull of whatſoever God commandeth, reſpecting the firſt or ſecond Table: hence that for the firſt Table, Levit. 19. 3. Ye ſhall fear every man his Mother, and every man his Father, and keep my Sabbaths, where under the notion of Gods Sabbaths kept, not alone the obſervation of the Sabbath it ſelf is underſtood, but, as in Scripture language, the whole worſhip of God is meant; So Eſay 56. 4. the Eunuches that keep my Sabbaths, i. e. obſerve my whole worſhip; ſo Ezek. 44. 24. ſo Ezek. 20. 24. deſpiſing and polluting his Sabboths, is deſpiſing and polluting his worſhip: hence that is there added—and their eyes are towards their Idols. Obſervable it is alſo, that in Levit. 19. 2. God ſaith, be ye holy, as I am holy, and then addeth verſe 3. ye ſhall fear every man his Mother, and his Father; From that piety, originally ſpringeth this: yet again annexeth to this, ye ſhall keep my Sabbaths. In the Decalogue, that is firſt, Remember that thou keep holy the Sabbath: and then, Honour thy Father, and thy Mother. Here it is, Fear every man his Mother, and his Father, and keep my Sabbaths; that Radicall piety being laid in the heart, now this other piety, exceedingly furthereth the exerciſe of particular acts of piety towards God; one pious towards Parents, will be carefull of all naturall worſhip, to call upon God, to love him, to fear him, & to put his truſt in him, required in the 1. Commandement; he wil conſcientiouſly obſerve all Gods inſtituted worſhip, avoiding all worſhip of mens inventing, according to the tenour of the 2. Commandement; he will reverently, and faithfully improve Gods attributes, titles, words, and works, avoiding the contrary abuſe thereof, as it is injoyned in the 3. Commandement; he will alſo as faithfully, and fruitfully ſanctifie the Lords dayes, reſting from the works of his calling, and eſpecially from vain ſports, which is that which the 4. Commandement requireth: the like may be ſaid of the Commandements of the 2. table, which will all be duly attended, if this duty of the fifth Commandem. be faithfully obſerved; both are implyed in that place (of which we ſhall make much uſe in this diſcourſe) Gen. 18. 19. I know Abraham, that he will command his children,—and they ſhall keep the way of the Lord, to do judgement and juſtice; if Abrahams children honour his parentall Authority, ſo that they are at his command, then they keep the way of the Lord, then they do judgement and juſtice; whatſoever path, God chalketh out for them to walk in towards God, or towards men, they will be keeping in it. And indeed, who better ſervants, in that relation, to Maſters, then thoſe that were good children to Parents? who more obedient ſubjects to lawfull Authority, and Fathers of the Common-wealth, then ſuch as learned and practiſed filiall obedience to Parents, at home? who more reſpective to Miniſters, then thoſe that were, and are conſcientiouſly reſpective to good Parents? who more tender of their own, and others lives and healths, of their own and others chaſtity, of their own and others eſtates and names, avoyding the contrary evills, to a very ſinfull motion looking that way, then ſuch as have been Conſcientious honourers of their Parents? hence, on the contrary, diſhonour of Parents is made a Ring-leading ſin, a very ſpring and root of manifold wickedneſs. Ezek. 22. 7. when the Prophet would charge upon all ſorts in Jeruſalem, their moſt notorious crimes, he beginneth thus, In thee have they ſet light by Father and Mother: and then goeth on, in the midſt of thee have they dealt by oppreſſion with the ſtranger, in thee have they vexed the fatherleſs and widow. Ibid. thou haſt deſpiſed mine holy things, and haſt profaned my Sabbaths, verſe 8. In thee are men that carry tales to ſhed blood, verſ. 9. In verſ. 10. 11. he chargeth them with horrid fleſhly filthineſs, in verſ. 12. with Bribery, Uſury, Extortion, &c. if therefore the bond of the fifth Commandement be broken, men ruſh upon breach of the ſixth Commandement, witneſſe their bloodineſs mentioned, v. 9. upon breach of the ſeventh Commandement, witneſs their filthineſs inſtanced in verſ. 10. 11. upon breach of the eighth Commandement, witneſs their oppreſſion, uſury, bribery, extortion, v. 12. upon breach of the nineth Commandement, witneſs their carrying of tales to ſhed blood, v. 9. yea upon breaches of all the Commandements of the firſt Table, witneſs their deſpiſing the holy things of God, and profaning his Sabbaths, v. 8. Deut. 21. 20. the Parents are brought in complaining, This our Son is ſtubborn, he will not obey our voice, he is a glutton and a drunkard. It is no wonder that children who honour not Parents, are given to thoſe, or to any other vices, to which looſe and lewd companions will readily draw them. Surely it is juſtly to be feared, to be too much our caſe in New England, where many of the youth grow ſo rude and profane, ſo regardleſs of Superiours, in the family, as maſters, in the State, as Magiſtrates, in the Church, as Elders: where many of them are ſo vainly given, ſo looſe in their company, ſo proud, and ſupercilious in their carriages, ſo new-fangled in their faſhions, and ruffianly in their hair, nay jearers, many of them, at the beſt perſons and things, in a word, where is ſo little yet appearing of God, or good, in too many of them; I ſay it is juſtly to be feared, that children here are not honourers of Parents. Here Parents are commonly put more to it, to make uſe of their childrens hands and help, and ſo children here being naturally apt to count too much upon what they do for Parents, they are as apt to ſet the more light by them, and by their inſtructions, and admonitions, and ſo an open way is made thereby to any other wickedneſs amongſt them. Hence alſo malefactors, when at the Gallows they have made their dying Confeſſions, they have laid on hardeſt upon this ſin, as the riſe of thoſe which brought them at length to that ſad end, that they regarded not their Fathers, they deſpiſed their Mothers, were unruly, and diſobedient Children to their Parents; Ah, will ſome then ſay, the good counſels which our fathers, or our mothers gave us, but, wretches that we were, we would never hearken to them, nor regard them. Let all good people take warning by us, and let all young men or women that hear us, for ever take heed, by our example, how you deſpiſe your Parents, or ſlight their Counſels, or rebukes.
The ſecond reaſon is taken from the law and 2. Becauſe this is made of ſuch weight by the Law and light of nature and of nationslight of nature and nations, which have put a like weight upon this duty of Honour of Parents, making it as next to the honour of God himſelf. Pythoragus, having given the priority to the worſhip of the Gods (as the poor Pagan calleth them, foreign, and ſo goeth on ſpeaking of their divine worſhip: and then immediatly addeth, foreign—It is in ſhort but thus. Firſt, honour nour God, as by the Law is appointed, then hothy Parents. And mind his ſpeech, that he maketh this by Law appointed: even by the Law of nature and nations; For no other Law had theſe Heathens. So Phocyllides, in his admonitory Poem alſo ſaith, foreign, Firſt honour God, and after that thy Parents. So Plato in his booke of Lawes, firſt he provideth for the worſhip of God, and in the next place for the Honour of Parents. So Ariſtotle, Eth. l. 8. c. 16. He joyneth Honour of Parents next to that of God: and ſaith, That to neither, can ſufficient honour be given, onelyonly he that according to his utmoſt ability honoureth them, he is (ſaith he) the truly pious perſon to God, and to Parents. So Iſocrates, in his Admonitory Oration to Demonicus, counſelleth and chargeth him thus, foreign. Fear God, honour alſo Parents. Aelian in his 3. book, c. 21. telleth a ſtory, that when the Greeks took Troy, pittying the miſeries of their captives, they cauſed it to be proclamed, that every free Citizen ſhould carry out ſome one principall thing which they ſhould moſt deſire: hereupon Aeneas neglecting other matters, carried out his Gods (as they call them) the Greeks liking well his piety, permitted him to take ſome other thing which he ſhould moſt deſire: he then taketh up his aged Father, and carrieth him out next upon his ſhoulders: with which act they were ſo affected, that they gave him all his goods and treaſures alſo: thus by the dim light of corrupt nature, the poor Pagan is directed to place Parents honour next to Divine. But our glorious Lord and Law-giver to ſhew the great weight of this duty, he will not leave it to be inforced by natures Law or light only, but he will adde his morall ſanction of it, as his own promulged Law, and he will not doe it in more obſcure termes, or ſo as only to be drawn by Conſequence, but this ſhall be expreſſed in ſo many words; It ſhall be written as in Capitall Letters, that every one that runneth may read it, and none may plead excuſe or exemption; yea the Command it ſelf ſhall be expreſſed in ſo few and ſo familiar words, that the leaſt Child, who can remember any thing, ſhall be able to remember this, and even with its milk, almoſt, drink in this principle of Honour of Parents.
3. Becauſe the Lord annexeth no particular promiſe to any other of the ten Commandements, 3. Becauſe a promiſe is added only to this Commandementbut to this. In which ſenſe the Apoſtle ſpeaking of this Commandement ſaith, It is the firſt Commandement with promiſe, Eph. 6. 2. Its a ſigne then that this duty above many others, is of great account with God, and of greateſt concernment unto man, and that the bleſſings of promiſe are wont more manifeſtly, and plentifully to follow, the obedience to this Commandement, then to any of the reſt of the Commandements of the ſecond table at leaſt, which have no promiſe at all 4. Becauſe the bleſſings promiſed to this, are of greateſt moment.annexed to them, neither generall or ſpeciall.
4. Becauſe the bleſſing here promiſed, and made as the Argument to move to obedience to this Commandement, is of ſo great moment and concernenent; as being life it ſelf, and the continuance of it, and bleſſing upon it. And what more deſirable, of all temporall bleſſings, then life? Skin for skin, and all that a man hath, will he give for his life. What more uſefull a bleſſing then this? whereby a man hath ſo much opportunity afforded and continued to him, to get and to do the beſt and the moſt good, and to bring in the moſt glory to God? What more delightfull a bleſſing then this, the very notion whereof is uſed in Scripture, to expreſſe the glorious and tranſcendent joyes and delights, as of the kingdome of grace, here, ſo of that of glory, hereafter? ſo in Deut. 30. 15, 19. I ſet before thee life. Rom. 8. 6. To be ſpiritually minded is life. Act. 11. 18. Repentance unto life. Pſal. 36. 9. With thee is the fountaine of life. John. 3. 36. He ſhall not ſee life.