The Marrow of Divinity, Religious treatise · Chapter 5
CHAP. V. Questions, and Cases of Conscience about Adultery.
Quest. WHat is Adultery?
Answ. It is uncleannesse about the Act of generation between a man and a woman, wherof one at the least is married, or betrothed to another.
Quest. Whether, wh…n the husband or wife committeth Adultery, the bond of Marriage is thereby dissolved?
Answ. No: neither may the nocent, nor innocent party put the other away, but still they remain man and wife, till the cause be fairly heard by a lawful Magistrate, and by him judged and determined, which is proved.
1. Because the Scripture still calls them man and wife: Abraham was still Sarahs husband after he had committed Adultery by lying with Hagar. So of David, &c.
2. Though Christ hath allowed it to the innocent party, that he or she may commence that action, and being judged, put the other away: yet no where hath he commanded it, that before judgement, he should put her away, which, if she had ceased to be his wife, he would have done, Matth. 19.9.
3. Only he that joyned them can separate them, and make them not man and wife, which is God only. Indeed, Jerome reports of Fabiola, that without the judgment of the Church, or Magistrate, she put away her husband, who was a very vitious, and an adulterous man: But though he write not the rest, yet others say, that she was made to do publick pennance: not that she made a divorce, but because she did it of her self without the judgement of the Church.
4. As private and clandestine marriages are not allowed by reason of manifold inconveniences; So privy and secret divorces are not allowable, because it would prove prejudicial to the good of many.
5. They are man and wife, till a just cause be justly known to the contrary, but that cannot be in private, but before a competent Judge: God allowing none to be accounted Adulterers, but such as are lawfully convicted of it before a lawful Magistrate; for by no right can a man be both Party and Judge.
6. If Adultery be not known to the innocent, then they are still man and wife, though there be great presumption of it: why not then if known? Knowledge, or not knowledge breaks the bond never the more, unlesse it be proved, judged and determined.
7. Divorce is a punishment for a fault committed; now none may punish it but a lawful Judge. See Stock on Mal. c. 2. p. 118.
Quest. How may married persons prevent, and withstand temptations to Adultery?
Answ. Consider that the Adulterer makes himself the member of an harlot, which will lie heavy upon the conscience when time serves, that in sinning this sin, the body is thus made the member of a Strumpet.
Consider that Adultery gives a deadly blow to the knot of marriage: Its cried out on exceedingly in the word: It cuts asunder the sinewes of families: It corrupts the minde, and takes away the use of reason: It brought Solomon the wise to run into idolatry against common sense: and Sampson the strong, though he knew the harlot would betray him, could not forbear.
It will damne men in hell except they repent, 1 Cor. 6.9, 10. No Adulterer shall enter into the Kingdome of God. So 2 Pet. 2.9, 10.
Being convinced of the hainousnesse of this sin, in the next place the Marriage-bed must be preserved in all purity. The tentation is strong to fornication, but stronger to Adultery: for the worser a sin is, the stronger is the impulsion of Original lust unto it, and Satan is more eager to draw us to it.
Labour for an hearty love to thy yoke-fellow, which is a special means to preserve conjugal chastity: Its not the having, but the loving of a yoke-fellow, that keeps us chaste. Hence Prov. 5.19, 20.
Keep in with God in other matters: For that man with whom the Lord is angry for other things, shall fall into the hands of a filthy woman, Prov. 22.14. Eccl. 7.26.
Married persons must be chaste between themselves: Beware of excesse or defect in the use of the Marriage-bed, 1 Cor. 7.5. There must be quenching, not provoking of lust: Raging lust is a great enemy to love, and will not be content with one. Married persons must avoid also,
1. Words, and talk full of obscenity▪ they must not by words corrupt one anothers chastity, which is worse then corrupting the chastity of a stranger.
What if no body be by, yet God is by.
2. Their eyes must be pure and chaste, else it will follow, that their eyes will be full of Adultery, 2 Pet. 2.14. Adam and Eve made coverings to hide their nakednesse each from other. Modesty is the best Preserver of Nuptial chastity Love doth no unsightly or unseemly thing.
3. The bed must be sanctified and kept undefiled by the Word and Prayer: The Word is a mighty healer of corruptions, to which we must joyne Prayer, or else we relie too much on the Physick. Prayer will keep us that we shall not surfet, and so come to a loathing: Nor fall into a defect: There must be a satisfying and drinking away of our thirst at our own Cisterne, Prov. 5.19. least we hanker after a strange fountain. Prayer will keep us from base and abusive dalliances. It will keep the bed undefiled, and encrease love, and mutual affection. See Capell on Temptations p. 386.
Consider how the Lord approveth, and urgeth Matrimonial chastity, 1 Thes. 4.3. This is the Will of God, that ye should abstain from fornication, and every one possesse his vessel in holinesse, &c.
Remember how the Lord interposeth, and challengeth the Covenant between persons at their Marriage as made to himself: so as she that forsaketh the guide of her youth, forgetteth the Covenant of her God, Prov. 2.17. yea, he professeth that he narrowly watcheth, and clearly sees when this Covenant is broken. For Prov. 5.15, 17, 20, 21. this is made the reason of the Precept: The wayes of men are before the eyes of the Lord, though no other eye seeth it.
Remember, the Lord watcheth sinners of this kinde to destroy both their souls and bodies, Pro. 5.22. He destroys his own soul: He shall be shut out of the heavenly Hierusalem, Rev. 22.15. and by Gods Law the Adulterer and Adulteresse should die, because he would not have the land defiled: nor the guilty person live to be an eye-sore to the innocent. Its worse then theft, Prov. 6.30.31.
Consider further the odiousnesse of this sin.
1. It directly corrupts the fountain of honest, civil, and godly life, which is the inviolable preservation of Gods Ordinance of Marriage.
2. Its infamous for the Church to be accounted an Assembly of harlots,
3. It brings confusion in the Common-wealth to have a bastardly brood inheriting.
4. Its an injury to families to bring in unlawful and usurping heires.
5. All other sins are without the body: this is against the body, 1 Corinth. 6.18.
6. Whereas all other sins may be committed by one party, this winds in two into the sin: So that if one party repent, the other may not, which will be a great burden to the Penitent whilest he lives.
7. Its an high sin against the price of Christs blood, wherewith their bodies were bought to be members of Christ, that by this sin are made members of an harlot.
8. The curse of God follows this sin: 1. In the soul of the sinner, Hebr. 13.4. Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge. 2. In his body, Prov. 5.11. He shall mourn, having consumed his flesh and his body. 3. In his Name Prov. 5.9. which precious thing is irrecoverably lost. 4. In his estate, It brings him to a morsel of bread. Pro. 6.26. Its a fire that consumes all his substance, Job 31.12. As we see in the Prodigal. 5. In his bastard-brood: we never reade of any that came to good besides Jephthah.
Quest. By what means may we preserve our chastity?
Answ. Get a pure heart, because out of it issue Adulteries, Mat. 15.19. Let thy soul become a pure Spouse of Christ, love him, and cleave to him, this is a good beginning.
Preserve in thy soul the feare of God, Eccl. 7.26. He that is good before God shall be preserved, Prov. 2.10, 16. Consider Gods Presence, who sees thee.
Get an hearty love to thy wife, Prov. 5.19, 20.
Avoid occasions of wantonnesse; As 1. Idlenesse: one of Sodoms sins: standing waters putrifie. 2. Intemperance and delicacie in meat and drink: the more the fuel, the greater the flame; especially avoid wine and strong drink, for they are mockers. Avoid intemperance in sleep and apparel: Let thy diet be sober, and sleep moderate. 3. Avoid the company and sight of persons, that may become snares: as Joseph avoided his Mystresses presence: Death oft enters by the windows of the eyes: Beware of amarous books, pictures, speeches, &c. 5. Use all good means appointed by God for this purpose; As first, resist lustful thoughts at first, and exercise thy mind in holy thoughts. Secondly, consider thy calling of a Christian, and remember that thereby thou art called to holinesse. 3. That the pleasure of sin is short, but the gnawing of a guilty conscience durable. 4. Apply the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God against it, which is a sharp two-edged sword, &c. 5. Fly to God by prayer; make thy case known to him, and crave his assistance. See Dr. Tailor on Titus p. 386.