The Marrow of Divinity, Religious treatise · Chapter 38
CHAP. XXXVIII. Questions, and Cases of Conscience about the choice and use of Company.
Quest. WHat rule are we to observe in the choice of our company?
Answ. Never cast thy self into wicked company, nor press amongst the profane, especially upon choice, voluntarily, and delightfully: And abide no longer with them at any time, upon any occasion, then thou hast a sound warrant, and calling thereto. Fo its uncomly, and incompatible with a good conscience: Its not for the honour, or comfort of Gods children. to keep company, or familiarly to converse with graceless men.
Object. But may we not make use of such company?
Answ. That we may the better understand it, we must distinguish of our companying with them: For
1. There is a common, cold, and more general society, in trading, buying, selling, saluting, eating, and drinking together, and in other passages of humanity, and entercouse of civill society, to which charity, nature, necessity, or the exigents of our callings, general, or particular, do warrantably lead us. This may, nay must be, 1 Cor. 5.10.
2. Speciall, dear, intimate society, in consultations, and counsels about matters of special secrecie, greatest weight, and highest consequence: In spiritual refreshments, Religious conferences, prayer, marriage, &c. In a free communication of their souls, their spirituall estate, &c. Now Gods children are bound by the Law of God, and prudence, from conversing with delight, and from the exchange, and exercise of those speciall passages of dearest acquaintance with profane men, and enemies of God.
Quest. What reasons may be rendred for this?
Answ. First, by such society he incurs a double hazard.
1. Of being infected with sin: Can a man touch pitch, and not be defiled? or go upon coals and not be burnt? Pro. 6.27, 28. Indeed there is a strange attractive, and impious power in ill company to poison, and pervert even the best dispositions. For
1. By familiar correspondence with such, there steals upon a man a secret and insensible dislike of his former sober courses, as having thereby too much abridged himself of his liberty.
2. There slily insinuates into his heart a pleasing approbation of, and assent to the sensuall courses of his lewd companions.
3. There follows a resolved, and habitual change of his affections, and conversation into the manners of those which he so familiarly converses with.
4. He grows out of conceit with good men, and good exercises, because he daily hears them railed on, jested at, and slandered: and so by degrees is himself transformed into a scoffing Ishmael, and a breathing Devil.
Quest. But I hope we may keep company with such as are civil?
Answ. Christians which have any fear of God in their hearts, will shun the society of such grosly profane persons, knowing that their souls are a thousand times more capable of the contagion of sin, then their bodies of an infectious disease, and therefore their danger is greater by conversing with meerly civill men, whose society they unadvisedly entertain for kindred, old acquaintance, advantage, or such carnall respects, and thereby cool in their zeale, loose their comfort, feelings of Gods favour, joyful springings of heart, boldness in the ways of God, cheerfulness in the exercises of Religion, and that comfortable fruition of other Christian prerogatives, which many other of their brethren doe, and themselves, by the benefit of Religious companions, and delightfull conversing with the Saints, might plentifully enjoy.
2. A Christian is every hour which he is in their company without a warrantable calling, and just dispensation out of the Word of God, in great danger of being involved within the flames of the just confusions, and inwrapt within the compass of those outward curses, and plagues which Gods indignation inflicts upon wicked men. All profane men, being unreconciled to God, are every moment liable to all those miseries, and fearfull judgements, which either man, or Devill, any of Gods creatures, or his own immediate hand can bring upon them, they are only respired by Gods mercy, and deferred to those opportunities, and seasons which seem fittest to his holy wisdom. Now when at any time they light upon them, if any of Gods Children be unwarrantably in their company, and with delight, its righteous with God, that he receive his portion amongst them at that time, 2 Chron. 20.37. Be ye not therefore companions with them, Ephes. 5.7.
Secondly, Because there must shortly be an everlasting separation between the christian, & profane men: Its best therefore for a Christian to begin this separation in time, and not to repose his special love upon an object where it must not eternally rest, nor intimately converse with him, whose company he shall not hereafter have in heaven.
3. A Christian conversing with gracelesse persons doth obscure, if not quite lose his credit with good men: For a man is reputed to be of their humour, and conditions with whom he doth ordinarily, and intimately converse. Now a good name is better then great riches, Prov. 22.1. Eccle. 7.1. It makes the bones fat, Prov. 15.30. therefore we should much prize it.
4hly, No profane person can heartily, and directly love a childe of God for his zeale, and spiritual graces: nay, naturally he hates all holy impressions: and that
1. Because of that irreconcilable enmity, and antipathy between the seed of the woman, and the seed of the Serpent: between light and darkness, Christ and Belial.
2. Because every unregenerate man, though furnished with the best perfections attainable in that state, thinks that his lukewarmnesse, and formality is censured and condemned by that zeale, and forwardnesse of the true Christian, and that if that holy strictnesse be necessarily required, they plainly proclaime the damnablenesse of his state, upon which he securely reposes himself, as sufficient to salvation. Hence they so hated David, Psal. 69.4. what heart then can a Christian have to converse intimately with such as hate him for his goodnesse-sake.
Fifthly, Its absurb that a member of Christ should exercise familiarity with a limb of Satan: neither can God endure that his faithfull subjects should so converse with traitors.
Sixthly, Conversing with such, doth cross, and overthrow this common, and Christian duty, that in all companies we should either doe good, or receive good, or both: whereas in this case a Christian takes hurt, and doth hurt: He takes hurt
Because he throws himself upon tentation, and hazards being infected either with profanenesse, or lukewarmnesse. He hurts others also, and that
1. He hardens his companions in their unregenerate courses, because they think he would not so familiarly converse with them, except he were well conceited of their spiritual state.
2. He is a stumbling block to the weak Christian, who by looking upon his example may be led awry from the strait path of his profession, and by taking thereby liberty of imitation, whereby his young beginnings of grace may be choaked, &c.
3. Hereby he grieves strong Christians, when they see him so far forg…tfull of himself, and disgracefull to his profession as to converse with the enemies of God.
Seventhly, when an unregenerate man sees that a Christian presses into his company, and desires to spend time with him, he presently concludes, that sure he sees in him matter worthy of Christian company, and endowments sufficient to rank him amongst the Saints, or else he could not take such delight in his conversation: whereupon he is fearfully hardened in his present courses, and settled with resolution upon the plausibly deceivablenesse of his unregenerate state.
Eighthly, Above all for this purpose peruse often, and ponder well,
1. The prohibitions hereof in Gods book, 1 Cor. 5.11. Ephes. 5.11. Prov. 14.7. 2 Thes. 3.6. Prov. 4.14.
2. The protestations, and practises of the Saints, Psal. 26.4, 5. Jer. 15.17. 2 King 3.14.
3. The punishment inflicted for the familiarity with the ungodly, as 2 Chro. 19.2. and 20.37.
Quest. May we not converse with our unconverted kindred, friends, neighbours, &c.
Answ. Yes, But then you must observe these rules▪
First, labour for more power of grace, knowledge, sanctification, Christian wisdom, and resolution in thee to convert them, then there is of stubbornesse, sensuall malice, sinfull wit, worldly policy, and satanicall sophistry in them to pervert thee.
Secondly, See that thy heart be sincere, and that in the singlenesse thereof thou seek truly their conversion, and not thine own secret contentment. For in this point thy heart will be ready to deceive thee: thou mayest go into such company with a pretence, and purpose to solicite them about salvation, and to prevail with them about the best things, and yet, before thou art aware, mayst be insnared in the unwarrantable delights of good fellowship, pleasant passages of wit, and such idle familiarities, as thou wast wont to enjoy with them in thy unregenerate time: and so instead of the discharge of a Christian duty, thou mayst both hurt thy self, and harden them.
Thirdly, As Phisitians use to fortifie themselves with preservatives, and counterpoisons when they visit contagious, and pestilentiall patients: so be thou sure to furnish thy self before hand with prayer, meditation, the sword of the spirit, and store of perswasive matter, strength of reasons, and unshaken resolution to repell, and beat back all noisome insinuation of spirituall infection.
Quest. What must wee doe when we come into Christian and good company.
Answ. Prize it as thy only Paradise, and heaven upon earth: the very flower, and festivall of all thy refreshing time in this vale of tears, and therefore ever bring with thee.
1. A chearfull, and delightsome heart, and though thou wast formerly sad, and overcast with clouds of heaviness, yet let the presence, and faces of those, whom hereafter thou shalt meet in heaven, and therewith incomparable joy behold for ever, disperse, and dispell them all, and infuse comfortable beams of heavenly, and spiritual joy.
Secondly, a fruitfull heart, full with gracious matter to uphold edifying conference, and gracious talk: Being forward, and free without hurtfull bashfulness, or vain-glorious aime, both to communicate to others the hidden treasures of heavenly knowledge which thou hast gotten out of Gods word, as also of moving questions, and ministring occasion mutually to draw from them the waters of life for the quickning of the deadness of thy own heart. And herein consists a Chrians wisdome to take notice of each others gifts, and severall endowments, and so with wise insinuations to provoke them to pour out themselves in those things wherein they have best experience, and most excellency. Some are more skilfull in discussing controverted points: Others in resolving cases of conscience: others in discovering Satans depths: Others in comforting afflicted spirits, &c. Now many worthy discourses lye buried in the brests of understanding men by reason of the sinfull silence, and barrennesse of those about them.
Thirdly, An humble heart, ready, and rejoycing to exchange, and enjoy mutuall comforts, and soul-secret with the poorest, and most neglected Christian. Take heed of spirituall pride, which will make thee too prodigal, and profuse, and so engross all the talk, which is sometimes incident to new converts, or counterfets: or else too reserved, and curious, to say no more, then may breed an applause, and admiration of thy worth. There is no depth of knowledge, no heighth of zeal, no measure of grace, but may be further enlarged, more enflamed, and blessedly encreased by conference with the poorest faithfull Christian. See Rom. 1.12. and 15.24. Mr. Boltons directions for a comfortable walking with God.
Quest. What must wee doe when we come into the company of the wicked?
Answ. First, thou must vindicate the power, and truth of Religion from the mistakings of those which are ignorant, and undervaluers of it; as for example: Thou art in company where thou hearest a mea… civill man, or formal Professor commended for his religion, which commendation if he carry away without contradiction, the rest of the company may be drawn to resolve not to goe beyond his pitch, seeing his estate is approved by wise and understanding men as hopefull, and comfortable. Now in this case thou must, with as much wisdome, and charity as thou canst possibly, disrobe such a fellow of his undeserved applause, and reputation of holinesse which he never had, left the by-standers be hardened, and the power of Christianity be disparaged.
Secondly, Be silent from all unsavoury communication, foolish jesting, &c. which is the known, and proper language of the sons of Belial, and the sinfull evaporations of wicked witts, and therefore vnmeet for the children of God.
Thirdly, pray for, and practice an holy dexterity to divert them from their wicked, or too much worldly tal… to more savoury conference, and heavenly discourse. For which end,
1. Observe wisely all opportunities, and occurrencies, which may minister matter of digression into divine talk, and acquaint thy self with the Art of abstracting holy instructions from the book of the creatures, and businesses in kind. As was Christ practice, Matth. 16.6, &c. John 6.26, &c. and 4.7, &c.
2. Have ever in readinesse some common heads of stirring, and quickning motives to minde heavenly things: as the cursed condition of our natural state, the incomparable sweetnesse of Christian wayes, the vanity and vexation of all earthly things, the miseries of this short life, the everlastingnesse of our state in another world, the terrours of death, the dreadfulnesse of the last and great day, &c. which (through Gods blessing) may sometimes soften the hardest hearts, and work in them some remorse and heavenly impressions.
3. Above all, get into thine own heart an habit of heavenly mindednesse, by much exercise, entercourse, and acquaintance with God in pouring out thy soul ever and anon before him, and in holy meditations, and if thou beest thus blessedly busie at home with thine owne heart, thou shalt finde thy selfe much more pregnant, and plentiful in holy talk when thou comest abroad. Idem.
Quest. What is meant by this that we must not familiarly converse with the wicked?
Answ. First, Negatively: the meaning is not,
1. That we may not be in the same place with them, for then we must go out of the world, 1 Cor. 5.10.
2. Nor that we may not do them common courtesies, as to lend to them, salute them, Matth. 5.47. where Christ implies that we should salute others besides our brethren.
3. Not that we may not sometimes, upon some occasions, come into more familiar meetings with them: as to Feasts, &c. 1 Cor. 10.27.
Secondly, Affirmatively, the meaning is,
1. That we may not upon choice, without just occasions, frequent their company; which for their sins we should hate, Psal. 139.21, 22.
2. That we may not delight in their society, which cannot but be a griefe to a godly heart, Psal. 120.5. and 119.136.
3. That we may not choose them for our familiar friends.
Quest. Who are such wicked men as we may not make our companions?
Answ. First, Negatively. 1. Not such an one as is unfound at heart, but not discovered: For one whom we may lawfully chuse for our friend, may afterwards prove an hypocrite.
2. Nor such an one who hath many weaknesses, whom we must rather restore with the spirit of meeknesse, Gal. 6.1.
Secondly, Affirmatively. 1. Such as are out of the Church, as Jews, Turks, Pagans, &c.
2. Such as are justly excommunicated out of the Church for blasphemy, heresie, or profannesse, 1 Cor. 5.5, 6, 7.
3. Such as, though they continue in the Church, yet by their works they shew that they are meer carnal.
Quest. But what if our neare relations, …s husband, wife, &c. are wicked?
Answ. We must distinguish of wicked persons: who are,
1. Such as are not bound to us by any special bond, and these we may not make our companions.
2. Such to whom we are bound by consanguinity, affinity, or our civil callings: For these we must afford them our outward presence familiarly, 1 Corinth. 7.12, 13. Though we cannot be of one heart, and minde with them; as, Act. 4.32.
Quest. How may it be further proved that we may not make the former our companions?
Answ. First, because its expresly forbidden by God, Eph. 5.7. Prov. 1.15. and 4.14, 15. Act. 2.40. 1 Cor. 5.11. 2 Thes. 3.14. As under the Law the Leprous must be separated from the clean, Lev. 13.44. with 14.8.
Secondly, it subverts, and confounds that order which God hath appointed, which is, that the precious must be separated from the vile, Jer. 15.19.
Thirdly, Its hurtful for Gods children who are in danger of infection by them: As Joseph in Pharaohs Court learn'd to sweare by the life of Pharaoh. So, Prov. 13.20. and 22.24, 25. Hence is that precept, Isa. 52.11. 2 Cor. 6.17. Prov. 6.27, 28.
Fourthly, it hurts the wicked, 1. For it keeps them from being ashamed, and so from turning to God; they being encouraged in their wayes, when they see that notwithstanding the same, the godly afford them their familiar presence as if they were virtuous, Luke 13.26.
2. It makes us unable effectually to rebuke them, when we are in such a league of familiarity with them.
Fifthly, its very scandalous and offensive to weak Christians.
Quest. May we then have no dealing with him?
Answ. Yea, we may, 1. Lawfully enter into League with them not to do them hurt, as Isaac with Abimelech: Jacob with Laban: For the rule is, Rom. 12.18.
2. To trade, and maintaine commerce with them, as David, and Solomon with Hiram, and his men.
3. We may be sometimes in familiar meetings with them to seek to gain them to God: For the sick have need of a Physician: upon this account Christ conversed with Publicans and sinners.
Quest. Why must we be so carefull to watch over our selves in company?
Answ. First, because we often take much hurt in company, and are in far worse case by meanes thereof for want of good direction, and heedfulnesse, then we were before we came into it.
Secondly, experience teaches that there are very few meetings, wherein men are not made worse the one by the other.
Quest. Why so?
Answ. Because in company many occasions are offered, as of glorifying, so of dishonouring God, and of troubling and grieving our selves and others. Besides, the tongue is an unruly member, &c. Jam. 3.1, 2, &c. and as for the heart which sets the tongue on work, it is uncharitable, suspitious, prophane, worldly, &c. Yea, a very fountaine of evil thoughts, oaths, adulteries, slanders, &c. Mat. 15.19. Hence comes so many idle and profane speeches whereof we must give an account in the day of judgement, Mat. 12.36. and at best, endlesse talking of matters that concerne wordly profit, or pleasure: This made Job so carefull to sanctifie his children after their love-feasts, Job 1.5.
Quest. What particular rules are to be observed concerning our carriage in company?
Answ. First, seeing there is such danger in it, we are not to rush unadvisedly into it, but with fear, and trembling, and upon good occasion.
Secondly, we are to resolve with our selves before hand to do others as much good as we are able, and to help them forward to eternal life: purposing also to get some spiritual good to our selves, as occasion shall be offered.
Thirdly, we must resolve, if we can do no other good, at least to be harmlesse, and to leave no ill savour behinde us, either by our speech or behaviour, Prov. 10.20. and 20.5. Col. 3.12. 1 Thes. 5.23. James 5.20. Jude 20. 1 Sam. 23.16.
Quest. How may we attaine unto this?
Answ. First, we must pray for grace before we go into company, as Jacob prayed to be kept from the sword of Esau, Gen. 32.11. so we must pray that we be not infected by them.
Secondly, we should think of some profitable matter before-hand, and intreat God to enable us to declare the same.
Thirdly, we must wisely and carefully wait for, and lay hold on the fittest occasions of doing and receiving good.
Fourthly, we must resolve not to thwart or crosse others, but in the spirit of meeknesse, and lenity to bear one with another, Gal. 6.1, 2. Col. 3.12. and for that end to put on love, which envies not, boasteth not, rejoyceth not in iniquity, provokes not, nor is easily provoked unto anger: but suffers long, hopeth all things, &c. 1 Cor. 13.4, &c. Prov. 10.12. 1 Pet. 4.8.
Quest. How shall we be furnished with matter to edifie one another?
Answ. If no present occasion be offered, as was to Christ, Luke 11.27, 28. we must have consideration, both of the things and of the persons. The things we are to think of are either some part of Gods word which we have lately heard preached of, or that we have read, or meditated upon, or some work of God lately fallen out, wherein yet we must avoid the common abuse, which is either to turne it over as table-talk, or matter of news without making any further use thereof.
Quest. What if we cannot thus furnish our selves?
Answ. Then let us read, or cause to be read, some portion of Scripture, out of which we may be the better furnished: And as for persons, we must consider whether they be superiors, inferiors, or equals, whether good or bad, whether they need instruction, reproof, quickning, or comfort, &c. that so we may accordingly apply our speeches to their, and our own edification: as Christ did, Luk. 14.7, 8. and 11.27, 28.
Quest. Why must we be so carefull thus to furnish and exercise our selves?
Answ. Because we are commanded to provoke one another to love, and good works, Heb. 10.24. To exhort one another daily, Heb. 3.12. To redeem the time, Eph. 5.16.
Now a wo… spoken in due season is like apples of Gold, &c. Prov. 25.11. Our speec… must be gracious alwayes, &c. Col. 4.6. No corrupt communication must pr…ed out of our mouths, &c. Eph. 4.29, 30. we must edifie one another, 1 Thes. 5.11. So did Paul, Act. 26.27, 28, 29.
Quest. What if for all this we cannot bring our hearts to it?
Answ. Its better for such to keep home, to look to our families, and attend our callings, then to go into company where we neither do, nor receive good.
Quest. What if we meet with such brutish and scornful persons as will not endure good communication?
Answ. Then follow Christs rule: Give not that which is holy unto dogs, &c. Mat. 7.6. and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darknesse, Ephes. 5.11. Yet withal, we must wisely bear, and seek to win them: but if we cannot prevaile, we must follow Solomons rule, Prov. 14.7. Depart from the company of a foolish man, when thou seest not in him the words of wisdome.
Practice of Christianity.
Quest. What other reason may be rendered why we should so carefully shun evil company?
Answ. Because the Scripture teaches us to shun all sinful occasions, as well as actions: therefore we must keep out of the way.
Quest. Seeing there is so much danger by bad company, what must we do that live in bad times and places?
Answ. First, look to thy grace that it be true, and then thou mayest be sure that ill company shall not rob thee of it. True grace is compared to oile; now cast oile into a vessel of water, and it will not mingle with it, but will swim on the top: So grace will swim upon the water of tentation. As all the water in the salt sea cannot make the fish salt; so all the wicked in the world cannot change the nature of grace: A good man will retaine his goodnesse in bad places, and company: as Joseph did in the Court of wicked Pharaoh: Nehemiah in the Court of Artaxerxes: Obadiah in Ahabs Court: Daniel in Nebuchadnezzars: Abijah in wicked, and idolatrous Jeroboams house: and the Saints in Nero's houshold.
Secondly, yet we ought to bewaile our living in bad places and times: Its our misery, though not our sin: so did Isaiah, ch. 6.5. and David, Psal. 120.5. and Lot, 2 Pet. 2.7, 8.
Thirdly, it is our duty, the worse the times and places are wherein we live, the better, and the more blamelesse we should labour to be, that thereby we may adorne our profession, stop the mouths of the adversaries, and winne them to imbrace Christianity, Phil. 2.15. As stars shine brightest in a dark night, and fire burns hottest in a frosty day: so should our profession shine brightest in the darkest places; and our zeale burne hottest when the love of many waxeth cold?
Fourthly, we must not think to excuse our wickednesse, because we live in bad times, and places; as Abraham did his lie by his being in Gerar, Gen. 20.11. Its the badnesse of thy heart, not of the place that makes thee bad. As no place, though never so good, can exempt a man from sinne: the Angels sinned in heaven, Adam in Paradise, Judas in Christs family: so no place, though never so bad, can excuse a man from sin.
Fifthly, if it be so commendable to be good in bad places and company, how abominable then is it to be bad in good places, and company; to be dirty swine in a faire meddow.
Sixthly, delight not in bad places and company: To delight in such, argues that thou art bad thy selfe: Noscitur ex socio qui non cognoscitur ex se, Deut. 22.10.
Master Love of Grace.
Quest. Whether is company better then solitarinesse?
Answ. Though there be a fit time for solitarinesse, and every thing is beautiful in its season: yet civil conversation is to be preferred before solitarinesse, as tending more to the glory of God, the advancement and enlarging of the Kingdome of Christ, the good both of Church and Common-wealth with all the members of them, and our own present comfort, and future joy, which is much augmented, when by our Christian conversation, and vertuous actions, our holy profession, and good example, our admonitions, exhortations, counsel, consolation; our works of justice, and charity, and by all other good Offices mutually performed, we build up those that are about us in their most holy faith, and draw many to accompany us to the Kingdome of Heaven: Hence, Gen. 2.18. Its not good for man to be alone, Eccles. 4.9, 10. Two are better then one, &c. and Saint Paul lays it as a charge upon all. Heb. 10.24, 25. To provoke one another to love and good works, &c.
Quest. How may this be further proved?
Answ. First, God commends it to us by his works of creation: For he hath made us in our natures political, and sociable creatures, who take comfort in conversing together.
Secondly, in his wise providence he hath so disposed of us that we should not be absolute, and able to live of our selves, but need the mutual help one of another: So that the King needs the Subject as much as the subject needs the King; the rich help the poor, and the poor labour for the rich: the City needs the Country, as well as the Country the City.
Thirdly, God hath linked all men together into society, as it were particular members of the same bodies, and hath so furnished them with diversity of gifts, and several abilities to sundry offices, that no sort of men can be wanting without a maime, nor any part utterly pulled from the whole, but he must necessarily become a dead and unprofitable member, and work his own ruine by this his separation.
Fourthly, in our renovation, we are, as it were, anew created into one body, where of Christ is the Head, and as diverse members have our several functions, and offices allotted to us, which are not onelyonly for our own use, but for the good of the whole body, and every of our fellow-members, 1 Corinth. 12.1, 15, 25, 26.
Quest. What are the benefits which redound to the whole body, and to all particular members hereby?
Answ. First, hereby they are linked together by the same Spirit, and in the bond of love to performe all mutual Offices of Christian charity which may advance each others good.
Secondly, they communicate in the same blessings, and rejoyce in one anothers good, having according to their numbers their joys redoubled: In their troubles, and afflictions they also communicate in one anothers grief, each comforting his fellow, and so making the burden much more light by compassion, and bearing it upon many shoulders.
Thirdly, they stirre up Gods graces in one another, both by word, and good example, helping to remove impediments that lie in the way, and exhorting one another to cheerfulnesse in their journey, whereby they quicken their speed towards the Kingdom of Heaven.
Quest. How must we prepare our selves before we go into company?
Answ. First, when we are free, and left to our choice, we must chuse such company as in all likelihood may either do us good, or at least receive some good from us, and therefore we must pray unto God to direct us in our choice, and make our meeting profitable for the advancement of his glory, and our good.
Secondly, we must also pray to God to give us his grace, and holy Spirit, whereby we may be enabled to prosecute these ends.
Thirdly, seeing the enemy of our salvation layes nets and snares to entrap us in all places, and especially in our company, we must therefore resolve before-hand to arme our selves against these dangers, and to keep a narrow watch that we be not overcome by him.
Fourthly, we must not propound this as our end, to passe away the time, and to solace our selves with carnal delights, but to go with this resolution, that we will do our best to receive good, especially for our soules, or to do good to our companions by our words, examples, and actions, to prevent sin in them, or to quicken them to good.
Fifthly, we must put off, and cast from us turbulent passions, and disordered affections, and adorne our selves with the contrary graces of Gods Spirit: We must for this end subdue our pride, and wrath, and frowardnesse, envy towards our superiours, and disdaine towards our inferiours: and we must put on brotherly love; See the benefits of it, 1 Cor. 13.4, 5, 6, 7. and with it we must put on the spirit of meeknesse, and patience to put up injuries, and passe by offences, and to bear with infirmities: The spirit of humility, &c.
Quest. Being thus prepared, what must our carriage be in company?
Answ. First, we must sincerely seek Gods glory, and our own salvation; shunning whatsoever may impeach the same.
Secondly, we must be innocent and unblamable in all our words and actions, and give no ill example, or offence to any in our company: but shine before them, &c. Matth. 5.16. so we are exhorted, 1 Pet. 2.12. so did Paul behave himself, 1 Thes. 2.10.
Thirdly, we must be just and righteous, observing truth in our words, and equity in our actions: as we are exhorted, Phil. 4.8, 9. This the Gospel teacheth us, Tit, 2.12.
Fourthly, we must be fervent in love towards those with whom we consort, which will make us ready to perform all other duties towards them, as we are exhorted, Rom. 13.8, 10. Col. 3.14.
Fifthly, we must labour to be of the same minde as we are of the same company, to minde the same things, and to have the same affections, 1 Pet. 3.8. Rom. 12.15. Phil. 3.16. and to walk by the same rule, so farre as will stand with truth and justice.
Sixthly, we must not carry our selves proudly towards one another, not being wise in our own conceits, Rom. 12.16. but condescending to men of low degree in the truth, and in things indifferent, and of small moment: or if we dissent, to do it in a meek and peaceable manner.
Seventhly, we must be patient, and peaceable in our conversation, more ready to beare them to offer injuries, as we are exhorted, Rom. 12.17, 21. For which end we must follow Saint Paul counsel, Col. 3.12, 13.
Quest. But what if through accident, or our necessary occasions, we fall into ill company?
Answ. Then we must not hide our profession, lest Christ be ashamed of us, Mat. 10.33. nor applaud them in their wicked courses, endure their reproaches and ta…nts at Religion, countenance their swearing, or profane jests with our smiles, much lesse runne with them into the same excesse of riot, 1 Pet. 4.4. but rather labour to reclaime them, and gain them to Christ. For which end we must.
1. See that in all our carriage we be unblamable, Phil. 2.15. that they may have nothing to say against us, Tit. 2.7, 8. Thus we are exhorted, 1 Pet. 3.15, 16.
2. We must walk worthy our high calling, Eph. 4.1. adorning our profession by our holinesse, and righteousness, that if possible we may winne them to Christ, Matth. 5.16. 1 Pet. 2.11, 12.
3. If by all this they will not be reclaimed, yet we must not mingle spleene, and choller with our zeale, but behave our selves meekly, with patience and forbearance. For, Jam. 1.20. the wrath of man doth not accomplish the righteousnesse of God. Hence we are so much pressed to peaceablenesse, Rom. 12.18. yet may we not for peace-sake betray the truth, or forgo our own piety. We must follow peace with holinesse, Heb. 12.14. and not neglect the things whereby we may edifie one another, Rom. 14.19. We must not beare with those that are evil, Rev. 2.2.
4. We must not by such wicked company be discouraged from any good, not be moved to neglect any Christian duty which present occasion maketh necessary.
Mr. Downams Guide to godliness.
Quest. Why must we at other times carefully shun the society of the wicked?
Answ. First, Because its frequently forbidden in the Scripture: As Prov. 4.14, 15· and 9.6. and 1.15.16. and 23.20. Ephes. 5.11. 2 Thes. 3.6. 1 Cor. 5.11. 2 Cor. 6.14. See the danger of it in Davids matching with scoffing Mechol, 1 Sam. 18.21.
Jehorams marrying with Ahabs daughter, 2 Sam. 6.16, 10.
Secondly, we have the examples of the godly studiously declining such company: Of Elisha, 2 King. 3.14. of David, Psal. 26.45. and 101.4, 7. and 6.8. and 119.115.
Thirdly, There are many reasons to enduce us to it: For
1. We are in great danger in a short time to grow, like unto them: For sin is of a contagious nature, and we are most apt to receive infection, and they will endeavour to entice us, Prov. 1.10, 11, 12. This David know, and therefore resolves against such company, Psal. 119.115. and praies to God for assistance, Psal. 141.4. See the danger of keeping such company in these examples, Act. 13.8. Pro. 22.24, 25. Gen 42.15, 16. the reason is rendred by Paul, 1 Cor. 5.6.
2. Such society argues strongly that we are not truly religious, and upright in heart, but that we still halt between God and the World, For Prov. 29.27. An unjust … is an abomination to the just, and be that is upright in his way is an abomination to the wicked. See also, Joh. 14.9. Joh. 1.15.
Quest. Whom then must we consort ourselves with all?
Answ. First, With those that are godly, and vertuous, as being a singular furtherance to all christian duties, Prov. 13.20. Hereby we may edifie one another, Heb. 10.24. For the more we converse with such, the greater encrease we shall find of one piety, faith, love, zeale, &c. as coals laid together do kindle one another. So we see in the example of David, who rejoyced in the society of such Psa. 16.3. Psa. 119.63, 79. Hence Psal. 222.1. when the Church flourished most, and did thrive in grace, and godliness they thus conversed together,, Acts 2.46. and 9.31.
Quest. What other arguments may provoke us to make choice of such company?
Answ. it takes away the tediousness of our journey, when we have such company to travell with us; seeing they draw us on by their good discourses, and put out of our minde the tediousness of the way: they comfort, and encourage us when we are weary: they are ready to help us if any evill befall us: they assist us against our spiritual enemies that would rob us of the treasures of our graces: they further us by their good example: yea its a notable means to make us familiar with God, and to enjoy the fellowship of his holy spirit, which is the chiefest bond that unites us together in this holy communion. For Mat. 18.20. where two or three are gathered together in his name, Christ is in the midst to make himself known to them.
Secondly, Good company preserves us from falling into many sins, and inciteth us to many duties. If thou doest any good things in such company, none will hinder thee: but if thou doest evil, thou art presently observed, reproved, and amended, Prov. 27.17. For as iron sharpens Iron, so doth the face of a man his friend: Saul himself prophesied by keeping company with the Prophets, much more are Gods children inflamed, and provoked to good by such company.
Thirdly, Hereby we are the better fitted, and enabled to perform all Christian duties one towards another: as
1. Of watching one over another, that we may take all occasions of doing good, by restraining such as are ready to fall, & provoking each other to all vertuous actions, Heb. 10.24. we must strengthen our brethren, Luke 22.32. So Phil. 2.4.
2. Of instruction, whereby with all readinesse we inform the ignorant, and enlighten them in the knowledge of God, and his truth, Act. 26.18. Reclaime the erroneous: exhorted to, Jam. 5.20. Turn many to righteousness, and therefore shall shine in the kingdom of God, Dan. 12.3.
3. Of admonition, whereby we put our brethren in mind of their duty, Rom. 15.14. 1 Th…s. 5.14. either when through forgetfulness they fall into sin, or omit the duties of Gods service.
4. Of reproof, whereby we rebuke them that wilfully fall into sin, and continue in it without amendment, required, Epes. 5.11. otherwise we make our selves accessary to their sins. So Mat. 18.15. Yea otherwise we hate them, Lev. 19.17.
5. Of Exhortation, whereby we incite, and provoke them to all duties of godliness, quickning those which are dull: disswading from sin those which are ready to fall, and encouraging those that run well in their Christian course: as Heb. 3.13. Exhort one another daily, &c.
6. Of Consolation, whereby we strengthen the weak hands, and feeble knees, Heb. 12.12. and refresh with seasonable comforts such as are ready to faint under the burden of their afflictions: as 1 Thes. 5.11, 14. Rom. 12.14. For its an ease to those that are in misery, to have companions in their sufferings.
7. Of Counsell, whereby we advise those, who of themselves know not what to doe: and this sometimes the weaker may perform to the stronger, as Abigail did to David: because lookers on being free from prejudice, and passion, can see more clearly then those that are interested in the business.
8. Of good example, by which, shining before them in the light of an holy conversation, we do not only shew them the way to Heaven, but (as it were) take them by the hand, and lead them in it. So Mat. 5.16. 1 Pet. 2.12. and 3.1.
Mr. Downams Guide to godliness.