The Marrow of Divinity, Religious treatise · Chapter 33
CHAP. XXXIII. Questions, and Cases of Conscience about Comforting others.
Quest. WHat rules are we to observe about comforting others?
Answ. First, labour to know their case, what is the kinde and cause of their trouble, whether inward, or outward, spiritual or temporal, respecting soul, or body, friends, goods, or name, together with the dimensions of their sorrow, else we cannot deal effectually with them: The Physician must know his patients disease before he can apply a medicine, &c. Paul sent Tychicus to Collosse to know their state, and comfort their hearts, Col. 4.8.
Secondly, when we know that, we must pity and sympathize with them: For comfort comes out of the bowels of mercy. Hence, Job 19.21. God is first a Father of mercies, and then a God of all consolation, 2 Cor. 1.3, 4.
Thirdly, when this is done, then we must apply sutable comforts to their needs: As,
(1.) If their trouble arise from want, then comfort them as Christ did his Disciples, Mat. 6.25, &c.
1. From the consideration of Gods providence in feeding fowles, cloathing flowers, &c.
2. From Gods knowledge of their necessities, Mat. 6.32.
3. From Gods promises, v. 33. and Psal. 34.9, 10.
(2.) If it arises from losse of friends, and near relations: See how Paul comforts the Thessalonians, 1 Thes. 4.13, &c.
1. That Christ died and rose again, v. 14.
2. They that die in the Lord sleep in Jesus.
3. Christ at his coming will bring their souls with him, and raising their bodies will reunite them for ever, ver. 15, 16.
4. They with their formerly deceased friends shall be caught up to meet the Lord in the air, v. 17.
5. They shall ever be with the Lord, v. 18. and that it is a duty to comfort others when their friends die, appears by the example of David, 2 Sam. 10.2. Of the Jews, Joh. 11.19, 31. the neglect is threatned as a sad affliction, Jer. 16.6, 7.
(3.) If it arise from persecution: See how Christ comforts his Disciples, Mat. 5.10, 11, 12. As,
1. That they are therefore blessed.
2. Great shall be their reward in heaven.
3. That the Prophets before them suffered the like.
4. That at present they have cause to rejoyce, and be exceeding glad. So, 1 Pet. 4.12, &c. Peter uses sundry arguments in the like case; as
1. The end of persecution is to try their faith, and patience, sincerity and constancy: as the fire the gold.
2. In suffering for Christ they are partakers of Christs sufferings in way of community, and conformity, who suffered the like things for his confession of the truth: and they that have fellowship with Christ in his sufferings shall have communion with him in glory, &c. v. 13.
3. They are happy: their sufferings being both a sign and meanes of their happinesse, v. 14.
4. They that are reproached for the name of Christ have the glorious Spirit of God resting on them, which is glorified, not only by them, but in them, and makes them glorious, v. 14.
5. Such sufferings are no strange thing, but what is common: no matter of grief nor shame, but of joy, and honour to suffer as a Christian: and for which they should praise God, v. 12, 13, 16.
6. Its Gods will that they should suffer, and bear the crosse patiently, and suffer according to his will, v. 19.
7. In such sufferings they may comfortably commit the keeping of their souls to God in well-doing, as to a faithful Creator, and gracious Redeemer, and fulfiller of his promises, v. 19.
(4.) If it arise from desertion, and terrours of conscience, see how Christ provides for their comfort, Isa. 61.1, 2, 3. and 54.7, 8. and 50.10. and 57.15, 16, 17, 18.
(5.) If the affliction be any other kind of correction, propose Pauls grounds of comfort, H…b. 12, 5, &c.
1. All chastisements are the rod of a Father, who will neither forget mercy, nor measure, v. 5.
2. They proceed from Gods love, v. 6.
3. They are signes and pledges of Adoption, that we are sons, and not bastards, ver. 6, 7, 8.
4. Submission to chastisements is the way to life and salvation, v. 9. Act. 14.22.
5. Gods end therein is our profit, that we may be partakers of his holiness, v. 10.
6. Though they be sad and troublesome at the present, yet in the issue they will be comfortable. For we shall reap the peaceable fruits of righteousnesse thereby, and be both bettered and comforted thereby.
Quest. But what are the best means whereby we may comfort others?
Answ. First, use kind and loving speeches which will revive, and refresh the spirits of him that is disconsolate: So Joseph to his brethren, Gen. 50.20, 21. Boaz to Ruth, ch. 2.13. so the Angel, Zach. 11.13.
Secondly, strong reasons, or arguments drawn from the several heads of consolation: as the Author, ends, and benefits of affliction, and comparison thereof with what they deserve, and what some other suffer, &c.
Thirdly, plaine Scriptures properly and fitly applied: as precepts, promises, and examples recorded therein. The Scriptures are a treasury of comfort, full of choice cordials, and were written for this end, Rom. 15.4. David found it by experience, Ps. 119.50.82.93. Scripture comforts are the chiefest, coming home to the heart, and are efficacious to revive fainting souls, having the consolations of God in them, and his blessing upon them, 1 Thes. 4.18.
Fourthly, experience both of our own, and others is an excellent meanes of comfort to others.
1. Our own experience of Gods dealing with us in the like conditions, and of the comforts wherewith God hath comforted us for this end that we might comfort others therewith, 1 Cor. 1.3, 4, 6. These made Christ himself a more sympathizing and merciful High-Priest, Heb. 4.15. So 2 Cor. 7.6, 7, 13. So Peter is commanded, Luke 22.32.
2. We should comfort others by the experiences others have had of Gods mercies to them.
Fifthly, the exercise, and evidence of our graces is a good means of comforting others: For its matter of great joy, and comfort to the godly who see, or heare of it: as,
1. Of our faith and love, Rom. 1.11, 12. 1 Thes. 3.6, 7. Phil. 2.1. Philem. 7. 2 Cor. 7.7.
2. Our constancy in the truth, and work of the Lord, 1 Thes. 3.8, 9. Col. 4.11. 2 John 4.3 John 4. Phil. 2.19.
Sixthly, prayer to God for them is another means: and that,
1. For comfort to be conveyed into their hearts. So did Paul, Col. 2.1, 2.
2. That God would give us the gift of comforting others, the tongue of the learned, promised, Isa. 50.4.
Seventhly, consider the persons who are fit to be comforted; As,
1. In general, Gods people above all others; its their portion, and bread which we must not give to dogges, Isa. 48.22. with ch. 40.1, 2. So Christ, Mat. 9.22.
2. Weak and faint souls, 1 Thes. 5.14. comfort the feeble minded, &c. Isa. 35.3, 4. strong then the weak hands, &c. so doth God himself, 2 Cor. 7.6. contrary is reproved, …zek. 34.4.
3. Mourners for sin, or for want of Gods presence, and for misery.
1. Mourners for sin, who are deeply humbled in the sight and sense thereof, and in the apprehension of Gods displeasure: So did Peter, Act. 2.37, 38. and Paul, Act. 16.29, 30, 31. and Christ, Luk. 7.37, 48. He hath pronounced such blessed, Mat. 5.4. and Isa. 57.18.
2. Mourners for want of Gods presence, and the light of his countenance; such have need of comfort, the Bridegroom being taken from them, Mat. 9.15.
3. Mourners for misery ought to be comforted: as the Jews, whilst captives in Babylon, Isa. 40.1, 2. implied, Job 29.25. with Job 6.14. Its needful for such, as wine for those that be of heavy hearts, Prov. 31.6, 7.
4. Seekers after Christ▪ as, Cant. 3.1, 3. should be comforted; as the Angel did the women, Mat. 28.5, &c. and Christ, Mary Magdalen, Joh. 20.11. to 19.
Eighthly, write letters, send messengers, and take journeys on purpose to comfort others.
1. Write consolatory letters to the afflicted, as Paul did his Epistles to Rome, Corinth, Ephesus, Colosse, &c. and to particular persons, as to Timothy, Titus, and Philemon: So did James, Peter, John, Jude, and Christ to the Churches of Asia, Rev. 2.10, 11. and 3.10, 11.
2. Send messengers, as Paul a prisoner sent Tichicus, and On…simus to the Colossians to know their state, and comfort their hearts, Col. 4.7, 8, 9. and Tichicus to the Ephesians, ch. 6.21.22. and Timothy to the Thessalonians, 1 Thes. 3.1, 2, 5. whose returns with good tydings much comforted him, 2 Cor. 7.6, 7. 1 Thes. 3.6, 7.
3. Take journeys to comfort others. Paul prayed for it, Rom. 1.10, 21, 11. and long'd for it, 1 Thes. 3.9, 10, 11.
Quest. But who should we be so solicitous to comfort others?
Answ. First, because of the necessity, and commodity of comfort in afflictions, in respect of the souls, and bodies of others as well as of our own.
1. Comfort is useful and needful for others in six respects.
1. To support, and bear them up from sinking under the pressures of troubles inward or outward, Pr…. 18.14. the spirit of a man, (being shored up with comfort) will bear his infirmities; but a wounded spirit, (that wants the healing plaister of consolation) who can bear.
2. To quicken them, and keep life in their spirits: and to preserve, or recover them from fainting, and swounding. Comfort is the life of our spirits, yea the life of our lives, without which our life would be no …, but a lingring death; the damned in hell are said to die eternally, because they are void of all joy and comfort.
3. To chear, and refresh them▪ to raise them up from their sorrow, Psal. 94.19. In the multitude of my thoughts within me (saith David) thy comforts (breathed into me by thy Spirit, or handed unto me by thy servants) delight my soul. Comforts poure the oyle of gladnesse into hearts full of heavinesse. Comfort is honey in the mouth, melody in the eare, and a Jubile in the heart.
4. Its needful to quiet and compose the Spirits of others, when inwardly disquieted, and perplexed; they cause a calm in a tempest.
5. To establish, confirm, and settle others that are in a good frame of spirit, to hold their spirits fast from being shaken. Paul wrote his consolatory Epistle to the Corinthians, that they might stand fast in the faith, &c. 1 Cor. 16.13. To the Ephesians, that they might not be carried about with every winde of doctrine, Eph. 4 14. To the Colossians, that they might be rooted, and built up in Christ, and established in the faith, Col. 2.6, 7. He sent Timothy to the Thessalonians, to establish, and comfort them concerning their faith, 1 Thes. 3.2.
6. Its commodious to edifie others in their holinesse, and obedience: Comfort as well as councel builds men up further into the body of Christ: For it corroborates the heart, heightens their spirits (with Paul) to forget those things that are behinde, &c. Phil. 3.13. Paul exhorts the Thessalonians to comfort, and edifie one another, i. e. to edifie by comforting, 1 Thes. 5.11. For,
1. Comfort is a great encouragement to duties, as Hezekiahs comfortable words were to the Levit…s that taught the good knowledge of the Lord, 2 Chron. 30.22. and to the hearts of the people, to animate them against the fear of the King of Assiria, 2 Chron. 32.6, 7, 8.
2. Its a means to lead others forward on towards perfection: Hence they are joyned together, 2 Cor. 13.11. Be perfect, be of good comfort.
2. Comfort may be needful also in respect of the bodies of others, or outward man, which would perish in their afflictions, were not their soules strengthned by comforts to stand under the pressures thereof.
Secondly, the second reason may be drawn from the misery of them that want comfort. Its a sad thing to be in affliction, and to have no Comforter. We to him that is alone, Eccles. 4.10. It much aggravated Davids troubles, Psal. 69.19, 20. and 143.3, 4. and Sions miseries, Lam. 1.2, 8, 16, 17, 21. So Solomon judged it, Eccles. 4.1. It was the Jews sad case in their captivity, Isa. 54.11. and Ninivehs in her ruine, Nah. 3.7.
Thirdly, from the excellency of the duty in it self: Its an high, and honourable employment to comfort others: For,
1. Its the work of God to comfort poor souls, Isa. 57.15. 2 Cor. 7.6. He glories in it, as in a title of excellency, 2 Cor. 1.3. Isa. 51.12. v. 3. Ps. 103.13. Isa. 66.13. and 49.15. To comfort is the act, as of the Deity, so of the Trinity, and of every person in it.
1. Of God the Father, who is the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort, 2 Corinth. 1.3.
2. Of God the Son; for he as God-man, and Mediator, is the fountain of all consolation, Phil. 2.1. If there be any consolation in Christ: He takes it for granted that there is. So, 2 Cor. 1.5. John 14.18. and 16.20, 22.
3. Of God the Holy Ghost. Its his proper work to apply comfort to the hearts of Gods children from the Father, and the Son. Hence he is called, the Comforter: He is prayed for by the Son to the Father, and promised to be sent from both for this end, Joh. 14.16, 26. and 15.26. and 16.7.
Quest. How is God the Father the authour of Comfort?
Answ. By destination, and appointment of it to us: For he hath appointed us to obtain, as salvation, so consolation by Jesus Christ. Hence its said to abound by Christ, 2 Cor. 1.3, 4, 5.
Quest. How is God the Son the author of comfort?
Answ. First, by redemption, or purchase, as of us, so of joy, and comfort for us, by his blood as the price thereof.
Secondly, By reception of it: as Christ bought it, so he took it, and keeps it for us: when he ascended on high, he received, as gifts, so comforts for men, Psal. 68.18. It pleased the Father that all comfort should be laid up in Christ as in a treasury, and that he should send forth the same to his people, as the fountain doth water.
Thirdly, by dispensation, or office, as he is our Prophet, which he executes, and so comforts us, by his Spirit which he hath given us.
Quest. How is the Holy Ghost the author of consolation?
Answ. By applying it to us (which is his proper work) even all that comfort which the Father hath appointed to us, and the Son hath obtained, and kept for us.
Yea, to comfort others hath been the practice of the godly, as of Job, ch. 4.3, 4. Of the Prophets, Isa. 40.1, 2. Of the Apostles, Philem. 21.
Fourthly, from the equity of the duty: we ought to do it for these reasons.
1. Because we would be comforted by others in our distresse: and therefore we should do to others as we would have them do to us.
2. All true Christians have an interest in comfort: its their portion, and therefore in comforting them we give them but their own.
3. Its the end why God gives us abilities, and experiences that we may use them to comfort others, so that hereby we are debtors to others, 2 Cor. 1.4.
4. Its our office as we are members of the same body with them, Eph. 4.16. hereby we edifie our selves in our most holy faith, Judg. 20. Love knits Christians together, and makes them communicative of good one to another.