The Marrow of Divinity, Religious treatise · Chapter 28
CHAP. XXVIII. Questions, and Cases of Conscience about Children.
Quest. WHat is the best course that parents can take to have comfort in their children?
Answ. The best way to have gracious children is to begin at Religion, planting it in them as their tender years will bear, training them up in the knowledge, and information of the Lord, dropping into them by little and little the seeds of holinesse, providing, if it be possible, that they may suck in holinesse with their mothers milk.
Quest. What may move parents hereunto?
Answ. First, they should consider that they have been the cause of their childrens evil, and holp them into sinne, begetting them in their own image, and so have brought much misery upon them, and therefore they have need also to endeavour to bring them out of it.
Secondly, this is a good ground of all other nurture: for though they bring them up in learning, or to trades, if they bring them not up also in the feare of God, they leave them to the Curse of God, and by Gods just judgement they prove a heart-breaking to their parents: when they should have the greatest comfort in them: whereas, Prov. 23.15. My sonne, if thy heart be wise I shall rejoyce.
Thirdly, God takes notice how parents performe this duty, and accordingly blesses or curses both them and their children: as we see in the examples of Abraham, Genes. 18.17, 18, 19. and the contrary in Eli, 1 Sam. 2.29.
Fourthly, its a means for continuing and propagating the Gospel, and true religion, when having trained up our children in the feare of God, we leave them to serve God when we are gone.
Quest. Wherein especially doth this duty consist, and how may we performe it?
Answ. First, in acquainting them with the grounds of religion by private catechising them.
Secondly, by bringing them to the publick Assemblies so soone as they are able to sit there reverently, or fruitfully; This is to teach them in the trade of their way, Prov. 22.6.
Object. But alas, what should we trouble children with such things as these?
Answ. First, though it may seem fruitlesse for the present, yet they will remember it when they are old, Prov. 22.6.
Secondly, by this means thou mayest displace, at least restrain natural folly which is bound up in their hearts, if thou doest no more.
Thirdly, godly parents have done it, and are commended for it: Hannah brought her sonne to Eli to be instructed so soone as he was weaned, 1 Sam. 1.24. Solomon was a tender childe when his father taught him, Prov. 4.4. Timothy was acquainted with the Scriptures of a childe, 2 Tim. 1.5. and the excellent fruits of this timely instruction appeared in them all. Tailor on Titus.
Quest. How must children manifest their reverence to their parents?
Answ. First, by their words, and that divers wayes.
1. Giving them reverend and honourable titles: Of all which, father and mothe… are fittest.
Object. But this title of Father is so proper to God that we are to call none on earth father? Mat. 23.9.
Answ. This is not simply to be taken of the title it self, but of the mind of him that gives or affects it. If it be given, or affected to obscu… Gods fathertherhood, or to make a man a father of himself, without dependance upon God or reference to him, who is properly the father of all, its an impious and sacrilegious title, but otherwise its lawful and warrantable, as appeares by these texts, 1 Sam. 24.12. 2 King. 5.13. Judg. 18.19. 2 King. 6.21. 1 Cor. 4.15. 1 Tim. 5.1. Gen. 22.7. and 27.18.
2. They must shew their reverence to their parents by using few words in their presence, and those not without just occasion, Gen. 22.7. and 27.12.
3. By meek and humble speeches, 1 Sam. 19.4. and 24.10.
4. By taking a fit opportunity to speak: as when their parents are not seriously busie, or in company, or in passion, 1 Sam. 19.6. Contrary, 1 Sam. 20.30.
5. By giving a present, and pleasing answer when their parents speak to them, as 1 Sam. 3.4, 6, 18. Mat. 21.30.
Quest. How else must they shew their reverence to their parents?
Answ. Secondly, by their carriage towards their parents, which consists in these particulars.
1. If the childe know that his parent is coming, he should haste to meet him; So, Gen. 46.29. 1 King. 2.19.
2. Do such childlike obeisance as becomes their age and sex: as uncovering the head, bending the knee, bowing the body, standing up, &c. So, Gen. 41.12. 1 King. 2.19.
3. Their countenance and gesture must be sober, and modest in their parents presence.
4. They must give the place, and upper hand to their parents.
Quest. But what if the child be more wealthy and honourable then the parent?
Answ. No honour is comparable to the dignity of fatherhood: Indeed a child by reason of some honour, and office may in publick be forced to take place of a parent, but they must not do it in private.
5. According to the custom of the time, and place they must ask them blessing. So, Gen. 27.19. and 48.1, &c.
Object. These had the spirit of prophesie, whereby they could foreshew what should come to passe afterward, which made their children come to them?
Answ. First, their blessings were more then predictions: for they were also assurances that God would perform those blessings to their children: For they were both Prophets, and Fathers: As Prophets they foretold things: as Fathers the obtained the blessings pronounced, and an assurance thereof to their children, and that by faith and prayer.
Secondly, though parents cannot with such an extraordinary spirit assure to their children any distinct particular blessing, yet the faithful prayer of parents is a special and ordinary means to obtain the blessing on their children; Gods promise extending to the faithful, and their seed, Gen. 17.7. Acts 2.39. Prov. 15.8.
Object. If parents be wicked their prayers are an abomination, what blessing then can children look for from wicked parents?
Answ. Though God hear not wicked parents in love and goodnesse to themselves; yet for the good of their children he doth and will hear them, and that the rather to maintain a reverend respect of parents in the hearts of their children: For asking a blessing is an acknowledgement of superiority, and authority, according to that of the Apostle, Heb. 7.7. the lesse is blessed of the greater. And as for the gesture of kneeling its answerable to the gesture used by Jos…ph, Gen. 48.12. who bowed himself with his face to the earth.
Object. But kneeling is a gesture proper to Gods worship.
Answ. It is not so proper, but it may be used in civil cases, else Christ would have reproved the young man for kneeling before him, as well as for calling him Good; for he conceived Christ to be but a meer man, and the worship he did was but civil. Its not simply the gesture, but the occasion of it, the minde of him that performs it, and the ends which he performs it for, that makes it either Divine, or Civil. Cornelius fell down before Peter, and was blamed, because his manner of worshipping was Divine: the Jaylor fell down before Paul and Silas, and was not blamed, because his manner of worshipping was meerly civil. Some disallow not childrens asking their parents blessing, but think it meet only for children whilst young, not considering of what years, and state Joseph was when he performed it. Others think it not unlawful, but carelesly neglect it, little considering the benefit of a parents blessing: Esau shall rise up in judgement against them, Gen. 27.34. Heb. 12.17.
Quest. What is another duty of children to their parents?
Answ. Obedience, which is the surest note of the honour a child gives to his parent: Hence, Eph. 6.1. Col. 3.20. without which, external reverence is a meer mockage; as, Mat. 11.21. Obedience is a duty so proper, that the Apostle applies it to Christ as a proper attribut, 1 Pet. 1.14. As obedient children, &c. See Christs example, Luk. 2.51. Solomon calls the neglect of it, a despising of a parent, Prov. 23.22.
Quest. Wherein consists this obedience?
Answ. First, in forbearing to do things without their parents consent, which is a duty they are most bound to whilst they are under their parents government, during which time, parents consent is not only meet but necessary, Numb. 30.17. and that for these reasons.
1. Children are as the goods of their parents, wholly in their power to be ordered, and disposed by them. Hence Satan having all that Job had put into his hands, took liberty over his children as well as his goods and cattel, Job 1.12, 19.
2. Children, whilest under their government, even the eldest that are heires, differ nothing from servants, Gal. 4.1.
3. By Gods Law, parents had power to sell their children, Exod. 21.7.
4. Parents had power to disannul such things as children had done, Num. 30.4.
Now this subjection of theirs consisteth principally in five things.
Quest. What is the first?
Answ. First, they must have their parents consent in making choise of their calling: Jacob was sent by his parents to Laban, Gen. 28.2. David was appointed by his father to keep sheep, 1 Sam. 16.11, 19. when Saul would have David to wait on him, he sent to J…sse, 1 Sam. 17.17. so Jerem. 35.7. Jonadabs sons were rewarded fo… their obedience in this kind.
Secondly, In their marriages: For,
1. God himself hath given us a pattern, by bringing the woman to the man, Gen. 22.2. shewing that he who gave a being to the woman, had a right to dispose of her in marriage, which right now parents have in Gods room.
2. We have Gods expresse rule for it, Deut. 7.3. 1 Cor. 7.36, 37. The parent had also power in giving, or not giving her that was defloured, Exod. 22.17.
2. We have the examples of Gods Saints for it; as of Isaac, Gen. 24.67. Jacob, Gen. 28.2. He also asked his daughter of Laban, Gen. 29.18, &c. Sampson, Judges 14.2.
4. We have the judgement of the ancient fathers, who constantly taught this Doctrine.
5. The very heathen acknowledged the equity hereof, Gen. 34.3, &c. and 21.21. Yea, and all Laws confirm it.
Quest. Why must parents consent be had in marrying their children?
Answ. First, because by marriage they are put from their parents, G…n. 2.24. therefore its but equal that it should be with their consent.
Secondly, the parents power by marrying the childe is put over to the husband, or wife: and shall this power be taken away without their consent?
Thirdly, children for the most part are rash and heady, and would undo themselves, whereas parents love their children, and have more experience, and discretion in choosing for them.
Q. But what if their parents urge their children to marry such as they cannot love?
Answ. If they have no just exceptions against the party, they must labour to the uttermost to bring their affections to the bent of their parents will: but if notwithstanding all the means they can use, they cannot get affections, they may in a reverend manner intreat their parents not to presse them to it.
Quest. VVhat if parents be negligent in due time to provide their children fit matches, may not they provide for themselves?
Answ. In such a case a childe, knowing where a fit match may be had, may make it known to his parents, as Sampson did, Judg. 14.2. craving his consent and help therein: and if his parent will not hear, he may use the meditation of friends, and if the parent be still wilful, he may have recourse to the Magistrate, who is in Gods stead, and the father of his countrey, and what the Magistrate doth, its as good a warrant as if the parent did it.
The like may be done, if the Parent be an Idolater, Atheist, or Heretick, and will not yeeld that his childe shall marry to any but such as are of his own profession, or disposition.
Object. Though Jacob married one wife by his parents consent, yet not the other?
Answ. Jacob had a general consent from his parents to take a wife of the daughters of Laban, therefore if it had been lawful for him to have two wives, he had not done it without their consent.
Object. Servants may marry without their Masters consent, why not children without their parents?
A. 1. Its not lawful for servants so to do, while the date of their covenant lasteth.
Secondly, Parents have greater power over their children, then Masters over their servants: the latter being only by mutual covenant, and the servants voluntary subjection: but the former is by the bond of nature.
Object. Children marry for themselves, not for their parents, why then should their consent be so stood on?
Ans. First, though they marry not for their parents, yet from their parents, being by marriage freed from their power.
Secondly, children are not their own, but are the inheritance of the Lord, Psal. 127.3 and God hath given them to their parents as an inheritance, therefore a child may no more alienate himself from his parents, then other of his goods.
Thirdly, children may not alienate any of their Parents goods without their consent, Gen. 31.36. Gal. 4.1. and that
1. Because parents may hereby know what they have, and what they have not, and acco…dingly order their expences, which they could not do if children might purloin, and take of their goods at their pleasure.
2. Its a means to restrain the lavish humour of children, that so their parents may be the better enabled to lay up for them, 2 Cor. 12.14.
Fourthly, Children must be ordered by their parents for their apparel. Israel made Joseph a coat, Gen. 37.3.
Fifthly, children must forbear to binde themselves to do any thing against their parents consent, they may not make a vow without their consent, Numb. 30.4.
Quest. Wherein consists the active obedience of children to their parents?
Answ. In yeelding themselves pliable to their parents will, and that especially in four things.
First, In being ready to their uttermost ability to perform all their lawful commands, Eph. 6.1. as for example.
1. They must come at their call, Gen. 49.1. 1 Sam, 3.5, &c. and 16.12.
2. They must go on their errands, though farre, and troublesom, Gen. 28.5. and 37.14. and 42.2, 3. 1 Sam. 17.17, 20.
3. They must attend upon their parents when commanded, Gen▪ 22.6.
4. They must faithfully perform what businesse is injoyned them, Gen. 50.5. Jer. 35.8. 1 Sam. 17.20, 34.
Secondly, in obeying the wholsom instructions which their parents give them, Prov. 1.8, 9. and 4.1, 3. Exod. 18.24. For,
1. Parents are commanded to instruct them.
2. Great wisdom may be attained hereby, Prov. 13.1. and 1.9. and 4.9.
3. Much joy is brought to parents by it, Prov. 10.1. and 27.11. contrary, Gen. 26.35. 1 Sam. 2.25. Gen. 19.14.
Thirdly, in submitting to their parents reproofs; and amending what is justly reproved, Gen. 37.10. 1 Sam. 20.30, &c.
Quest. What if the parent mistake in the matter reproved, may not the child make answer?
Answ. Yea, but he must do it mildly, reverently, and seasonably.
Object. Christ took up his mother roundly, for reproving him unjustly? Luke 2.49.
Answ. Christ, as God-man, was greater then his mother, and so with authority blamed her for her unjust reproof: This she knew, and therefore was silent.
Fourthly in submitting to their Parents correction, and amending what they ate justly corrected for, Heb. 12.9. Prov. 29.17.
Quest. What is the extent of childrens obedience to their Parents?
Answ. In all things, Col. 3.20. to wit, in the Lord, Eph. 6.1. For which end,
1. They must labour to bring their judgement and will to the bent of their parents, to think that meet for them to do, which their parents would have them do, Gen. 22.6, 7.
2. Though in their judgments they cannot think it fittest, yet if pressed to it, they must submit, Gen. 276. &c.
Quest. May not a child yeelding better reason then his parent, refuse to do what be judges unmeet, at l…st till he be better informed?
Answ. He may render his reason with reverence, and humility, and desire his parents not to urge it upon him, Gen. 43.3, 11. yet in indifferent things, if parents will not be satisfied, but will be obeyed, children must yeeld. For,
1. In such things the command of a Parent is a warrant for the child, so that a parent may sin in commanding that, wherein a child may obey without sin.
2. Children hereby manifest their high esteeme of their parents, how willing they are to please them.
3. Its a great means to preserve peace, and love betwixt parents and children.
Quest. What is further required from children to their parents?
Answ. To repay, and recompence what they can, their parents care, cost, and kindnesse towa…ds them, and that in the way of thankfulnesse, 1 Tim. 5.4.
Quest. What rule is to be observed herein?
Answ. Children must relieve their parents according to their necessitie which may be through, 1. Natural infirmities: Or, 2. Casual extremities: Concerning the first, the rule is
1. Children must bear with their parents infirmities, not the lesse reverendly esteeming their place, or person; nor performing the lesse duty to them by reason of the same, remembring that themselves in their younger and weaker years were subject to many infirmities: as, Gen. 27, 12. It was a great infirmity in Isa…c to prefer profane Esau before godly Jacob, especially against an expresse Word of God: yet Jacob reverenced him not the lesse, Gen. 28.5. So Gen. 37.10. 1 Sam. 31.2. Luke 2.51. contrary, Prov. 30.17.
2. Children must cover their parents infirmities, both by passing them by, and concealing them from others as much as they can. For, 1 Pet. 4.8. Love covers a multitude of sins. So, Gen. 9.23. Contrary, Gen. 9.22. 2 Sam. 15.3. Concerning the second, the rules are
1. Children must bear with their parents, and not the lesse reverently esteem them, nor perform the lesse duty, because of them, being crosses which by Gods providence are laid upon man, whether upon his body, as blindnesse, lamenesse, sicknesse, &c. or on his person, as captivity, banishment, imprisonment, &c. or on his estate, as poverty, want, &c. So Gen. 27.1. Ruth 1.26, 21. Hence, Lev. 19.14.
2. Children must afford relief and succour to their parents as they need the same. So, Gen. 48.1. and 37.35. and 42.8. and 47.12. Ruth 2.18. 1 Sam. 22.3, 4. John 19.27. 1 Tim. 5.4. Contrary, Mark 7.11, 13. whereunto are such as first deny relief to their parents, 1 John 3.12. Secondly, that bring their parents into extremity by their lavish spending, or drawing them to be their Sureties; or bringing them into danger by their mischievous practises, Gen. 37.34. Thirdly, that strike their parents, Exod. 21.15. Fourthly, that murder them, 1 Tim. 1.9.
3. Children must bear with the inward infirmities of their parents, as weaknesse of judgement, slipperinesse of memory, violence of passion, &c.
4. With their outward infirmities which arise from instant tentation: Such were those, Gen. 9.21. and 19.33. 2 Sam. 11.4. and 18.33. Gen. 12.13. and 26.7. and 37.34, 35.
Quest. What duties do children owe to their parents after death?
Answ. First, to inter their bodies with such decency, and honour as may be answerable to the place, and reputation wherein they lived, Gen. 25.9. and 35.29. and 50.7. For,
1. Its a testimony of their great love, and respect to them.
2. Its a blessing promised by God to his Saints, 1 Kings 14.13. 2 Kings 22.20. the contrary is threatned as a curse, Jer. 22.19. 1 Kings 21.23, 24. Psalme 79.3.
3. Its a great deformity for a corps to lie above ground, therefore children who are most bound to cover their parents deformity, are in this respect bound to bury them.
Secondly, children must have respect to the credit of their deceased parents, and that especially in three things.
1. In paying their just debts so far as they can, when their goods, or lands come to their hands, Psal. 37.21.
2. In suppressing evil reports of their parents as much as they can. For, Matth. 7.2.
3. In imitating their parents good example. So, 1 Kings 3.3. 2 King. 22.2. 1 Kings 15.11.
Quest. After what manner must children perform all these duties to their Parents?
Answ. First, for conscience-sake, Rom. 13.5▪ …. 3.20. 1 Pet. 2.13.
Secondly, in sincerity, Col. 3.23.
Thirdly, cheerfully, and with a ready mind, 2 Cor. 9.7.
Fourthly, Reverendly, as to them that bear the image of God.
Fifthly, so, as yet not to sin against God: It must be in the fear of God.
Sixthly, Constantly, or else they loose their reward.
Quest. Must equal respect be shewed to both parents?
Answ. Yea, the Law mentions both father and mother. So, Gen. 28.7. and Solomon.
1. Because both parents under God are alike means of their childrens being.
2. The care, and pains of both is very great.
Object. The wife is subject to the husband: therefore ought a child to prefer his father before his mother?
Answ. Though there be a difference betwixt them in relation of one to another, yet in relation to their children, they are both as one, and have alike authority over them.
Quest. What if one commands what the other forbids?
Answ. The thing commanded, or forbidden must be observed: If it be about a thing simply good or evil, then the parent that would have what is good to be done, and what is evil to be forborn, must be obeyed, though it be the mother; but if it be a thing indifferent: then the father is to be obeyed; yet no contempt must be shewd to the mother therein.
Quest. Whether do children owe subjection to step-fathers, and mothers, and to fathers and mothers in Law?
Answ. Yea, as to those that are in the place of natural parents: So did Moses, Exod. 18.7. and Ruth, chap. 1.16, 17. and 2.22. and Christ, Luke 2.51. and that,
1. Because the marriage bond makes them one flesh with our natural parents.
2. The Law makes it incest for a man to lie with his stepmother, Lev. 18.8, 17. therefore they are in the roome of natural parents, and so to be honoured.
3. Its a great honour which a child doth to his natural father, or mother to respect such as they have made one flesh with themselves.
Object. Nature cannot so well brook a step-parent, as a natural parent?
Answ. First, if not so well, yet we must not depise them.
Secondly, conscience, and religion should alter corrupt nature.
Object. Step-parents seldome care for their husbands, or wives former children?
Answ. First, God teaches not only to be subject to the good, and gentle, but also to the froward, 1 Pet. 2.18. and not to be overcome of evil, but to overcome evil with good, Rom. 12.21.
Secondly, the Scriptures reckons such as rise up against their parents in Law amongst such as rise up against their natural parents, Mic. 7.6.
Quest. Must children be subject to Guardians and Tutors.
Answ. Yea, for the Apostle faith that they are under them, Gal. …4.2. So Esther, ch. 2.20. and Elisha, 2 King. 2.15, &c. and 6.1.
Quest. What arguments may move Children to obey their parents?
Answ. First, they are commanded to obey them in the Lord, i. e. because parents are to the children in the Lords stead, Liberis suis pater est vice Dei. Greg. Nazian. they bear Gods image, and children in obeying them, obey God.
Secondly; it is right, Col. 6.1. which implies three things.
1. Its agreeable to all Laws of God, Nature, Nations.
2. The place of parents requires so much: For right requires that every one should have his due.
3. Parents deserve so much, so that its done by way of recompence.
Thirdly, its well pleasing to the Lord, Col. 3.20. and he will reward it, Gen. 31.7, &c. 42. contrary, 1 Sam. 2.34. 2 Sam. 18.9. 1 King. 2.25.
Fourthly, its Gods charge to them: Honour thy father, and thy mother. Its a perpetual and general Law.
Quest. What if children be grown to years, and not under their parents government?
Answ. This may cause some difference: yet so long as a child hath a parent, he owes honour to him: as we see in Joseph, though married, and a great man, Gen. 47.12. and 48.12. and 50.5. and in Solomon, 1 King. 2.19.
Fifthly, because of Gods promise made to such obedient children, that thy days may be long in the land, &c.
Dr. Gouge. Household duties.
Quest. Whether are many children a blessing?
Answ. Yea, so saith David, Psal. 127.5. and 128.3, 6. Hence, Ruth 4.11.
Quest. Whether may parents make void a contract secretly made by their children, without, or against their consent?
Answ. The Scriptures gives them authority, either to ratifie such contracts, or to make them void, Numb. 30.6. the father may make void a vow of his child in matters pertaining to Gods worship, much more a matrimonial promise. If a young man defloure a maid, in equity he is to be compelled to marry her, Deut. 22.28. yet by Gods Law it may not be without the fathers consent, Exod. 22.17.
Quest. Whether is a marriage made without, or against the parents consent valid, or no?
Answ. It may be valid in the courts of men according to humane lawes, and therefore the issue of such is free from bastardy: yet its not a divine, or spiritual conjunction, or marriage, being flatly against Gods precept, Deut. 7.3. Exod. 34.16. 1 Cor. 7.38.
Mr. Perk. upon Gal.
Quest. What rules are parents to observe in giving names to their children?
Answ. First, they should give them such names as may put them in minde of some good duty. Paul could never hear, or remember his new name, but he was thereby put in mind of his new office, and duty which he was to perform amongst the Gentiles.
Secondly, as much as may be these names must be given in the natural language: Thus the Hebrews gave fit names in Hebrew: The Greeks in Greek, as Timothy, &c. Act. 26.1. the Latines in Latine, as Tertius, Quartus, Rom. 16.22, 23.
Thirdly, we must neither be too curious, nor too carelesse in giving names to our children.
Quest. Who are too curious?
Answ. Such as give them names above the nature of men: Some drawing too neer the Deity it self; as Emanuel; and the Jesuites. Some of Angels, as Gabriel, Michael, &c. Some of vertues, as Grace, Faith, Mercy, Patience, &c.
Quest. Who are too carelesse?
Answ. Such as name their children with Heathenish names: as Hector, Achilles, Hanibal, Julius Caesar, &c. as if they would have them prove like them. Sometimes they give them names of things far below the nature of men, as of beasts, trees, flowers, &c.
Dr. Tailor on Tit.
Quest. Why must there be such care in naming our children?
Answ. Because such whose names were appointed by God, as Gen. 17.19. Mat. 1.21. Luke 1.13. and such as were given by holy men and women that were guided by Gods Spirit, were holy, sober, and fit names. As
1. Names which had some good signification: as Samuel, heard of God: John, the grace of God: Jonathan, the gift of God: Simeon, obedient, &c.
2. Names which have in times before us been given to persons of good note, whose life is worthy our imitation: as Isaac, David, Peter, Mary, Elizabeth, &c. that the names may move them to imitate those worthies.
3. Names of our own Ancestors, and Predecessors, to preserve a memory of the family, which appears to have been an ancient practice amongst Gods people, Luke 1.59, &….
4. Usual Names of the countrey, which custome hath made familiar: as Henry, Edward, Robert, William, &c.
Quest. At what time is it fittest to give names to our children?
Answ. At the time of their baptisme. Under the Law, children were named at their circumcision, Luk. 1.59. and 2.21. and so under the Gospel it hath in all ages been used: and that
1. That their names may be a testimony that they have been baptized.
2. That so oft as they hear their names, they may be put in minde of their baptisme.
3. That they may know how that by name they are given to Christ to be his souldiers, and therefore they ought not to start from him.
4. That they may also be assured that being baptized with water, and the spirit, they are registred by name in heaven.
Dr. Gouge Housh. Duties.
Quest. Whether, and how far are children that are married, or called to publick offices in Church, or State, bound to obey their parents?
An. Childrens obedience to Parents ought to be perpetual, so long as they live: Implied in that Precept: Honour thy father, and thy mother, that thy days may be long, &c. But yet not alwayes in the same manner and degree. For whilest children live in their fathers house, and under his power, they ought to obey, and asist in taking care of houshold affairs, and in other businesses as they are commanded by them, Mat. 21.28, &c. But such as are married, or called to publick offices, though they must reverence, and be helpful to them, yet are they not bound to desert their callings, Luke 9.62. or to returne to take care of their family businesse as they did before.
Dr. Davenant on Col.
Quest. What general rules are to be observed by children in obeying their Parents?
Answ. First, they must obey, not in some things, and at some times, but alwayes, through the whole course of their lives, Eph. 6.2.
Secondly, they must perform this obedience.
1. With reverence internal, and external: internally they must have an high esteem of them, a tender respect to, and shew honour, and observance of them: Externally they must shew it by all reverend behaviour, as by rising up before them, giving them the honour to speak first, &c.
2. With readinesse to hear and receive their instructions, Prov. 1.8.
Thirdly, they must endeavour to fulfil their desires by their labours, or otherwise.
Fourthly, they must submit to their rebukes, Prov. 13.1. To their restraints about diet, apparel, recreations, &c. To their corrections, Heb. 12.9.
Fifthly, they must pray for them: For if they must do it for all, much more for them, 1 Tim. 2.1.
Sixthly, they must shew meeknesse of love three ways.
1. By obeying without enquiring, murmuring or contending.
2. By bearing with their infirmities, whether of body or minde: yea, though aged, diseased, crabbed.
3. By obeying without respect of profit; the contrary is base, and mercenary.
Seventhly, they must shew thankfulnesse, and gratitude, by recompencing their parents kindnesse, and relieving them in their wants, if they fall into want, 1 Tim. 5.4.
Mr. Byfield on Col.