A Collection of the Lives of Ten Eminent Divines, Biography 12
The Life, and Death of Mrs. Jane Ratcliffe, who dyed Anno Christi 1638.
Mrs. Jane Ratcliffe was born of good Parents,Her parentage who were morally Civil, and moderately Religious, according to the temper of the times wherein they lived: Her Uncle was Mr. Edward Brerewood, a learned Professor in Gresham College London. In her younger years she was rather Civil than Religious, and sometimes rather merry than Civil; yet lightsome without lightness, or immodesty: Though too much delighted with dancing, Stageplayes, and other publick vanities, according to the fashion of young folkes, especially in those times when these things were so well thought of, that they were admitted to be acted in the Churches. But it pleased God,Her conversion. according to his election of Grace, in due time to call her by the Ministry of Mr Nicholas Byfield, who was a powerfull, and a profitable Preacher of Gods Word at that time in the City of Chester; which also was seconded by the afflicting hand of God, who took away her first Child (which she much took to heart) but God made it an occasion to make her his own Child by Adoption, and Grace. For from that time the meanes of Grace had a more kindly operation upon her, which made her ever after more to mind her Father in Heaven, than any Child she had upon earth.
Yet at first she rather feared God than loved him, whence were engendred many perplexing scruples in her soul,The manner of it. which for the present were very grievous unto her: For her Spirit was sore wounded, and A wounded spirit, who can bear, Prov. 18. 14. The truth is, the pangs of her New Birth were so painfull, and bitter, and sometimes so terrible, that it was a difficult thing to fasten any comfort upon her. But after the Lord had chastened her soul with his severe Discipline, and thereby had prepared her for a Cure, he shewed himself her most favourable and effectual Physician, according to that Job 5. 18. He make…h sore, and bindeth up, he wound, and his hands make whole. For he quieted her troubled spirit, and setled it in the assurance of his love.
Being thus,Her excellent parts. through Gods goodness, converted, and comforted, it pleased him to bestow many excellent endowments upon her, both Intellectuall, and Morall. For by her frequent, and attentive hearing of Sermons, and reading good Books, the Bible especially (unto which she was addicted with an incredible desire, and delight) and by moving Questions to such as she thought best able to answer them, she became an excellent proficient in the most sound, and usefull points of Religion: yet took she not upon her to teach any but her own children, and servants, though an Apollos might not have disdained to learn of such a Priscilla, Act. 18. 22.
She medled but little in worldly matters,Heavenliness. and when she did, she little minded them: yet (shadowing her self from acquaintance with the world) she shined gloriously in her knowledge of God, and Heavenly matters.
As she had occasion to converse with others she shewed her self a very prudent Abigail: Her prudence.The Word of God (as St Paul prescribeth) dwelt richly in her in all wisdome, which appeared in her speech, in her silence, in her carriage, and in her actions.
In her speech:In her speech. for (as the same Apostle requireth) being enriched both in knowledge, and utterance, 1 Cor. 1. 5. She opened her mouth with wisdome, as that rare woman, Prov. 31. 26. having (as St Jerome dictated to Celantia) thought beforehand what she should speak, and while she was yet silent, forecasting that she might say nothing, which afterwards she would wish to be unsaid again; and so she was fitted, and well prepared either to counsell, or to comfort, to reprove, or to plead for, as there was occasion.
Yet was she not (as some women would have been, with her abilities, and some without them have been) obstreperously talkative, nor affected by her words to make any oftentation of her wit, or other good parts:In her silence. but very sparing of her speech, so that she was as much observed for her silence, as for her discreet discourse when there was just occasion, and opportunity. For she had learned, That In multitude of words there wants not sin, Prov. 10. 19. That Whosoever keeps his mouth, and his tongue keeps his soul, Prov. 22. 23. That Death and life are in the power of the tongue, Pov. 18. 21. That Tatling women are condemned by the Apostle, 1 Tim. 5. 13. That Of every idle word account must be given at the day of judgement, Mat. 12. 36. And that they who profess Religion, and refrain not their tongues, their Religion is vain, Jam. 1. 26. This moved her, with David, to resolve that her mouth should not offend, Psalme 17. 3.
Certainly such silence as she used (in those that know how to speak) is an argument of wisdome: For a wise man (saith Solom…n) and it is as true of a woman) holdeth his peace, Prov. 11. 12. And he that rfr…ns his lips is wise, Prov. 10. 19. And so far was she from speaking ill, especially of the absent, or of her betters, that St Jeroms precept to Celantia, was set forth in her practice, which was, rather to look to her own life, than to carp at anothers. And she well knew that where corrupt communication is restrained,Her holy communication. there that which is good to the use of edifying is required: Yet was she so wise, and wary, even in the use of good words, as to observe when, and where, and before whom to use them, and the season when to give over as well as when to begin her discourse.
She gave farther proof of her prudence in her carriage,Her wise demean…ur. and behaviour: And Bishop Hall in his Contemplations makes this a very good proof of wisdome. There are some (saith he) whose speeches are witty, while their carriage is weak, whose deeds are incongruities, whilest their words are Apothegmes. It is not worth the name of wisdome that may be heard only, and not seen. Good discourse is but the froth of wisdome: the pure, and solid substance of it is well-framed actions. And according to this we may commend her conversation for prudence in practice, above that which, she shewed either in the use, or restraint of her tongue: For as St. Jerom saith, She taught others more by her example than by her speech, much more, then by her silence. She was a woman of a well composed spirit, discreetly advised, framing her affairs by good direction of grace, and reason, without any direction of humour or passion, which bare no sway over her at all, and very seldome had any shew, or appearance in her, but when her discretion told her it was fit to make use of them for due advertisement to others; and then she would order it with such moderation, as that neither her words, nor her looks, nor her gestures, carried any colour of contradiction to her prudence, and piety: So that her wisdome was a protection to the reputation of her piety against all scornfull reproaches: Yea it was a promotion of the Christian profession to more estimation in her person, and for her sake.
And though she was singularly gifted, yet was she far from their disposition who think they do nothing well unless they be singular: and though she had less to do with worldly matters, than most would have had in her condition, yet therein also she gave that proof of prudence which Solomon observeth, Prov. 14. 1. A wise woman (saith he) builds her house: For she was very provident in managing her Family affairs both whilest she was married, and when she was a widow also.
Now from her Intellectuall parts, let us pass to her Morall, and we shall find, that though she had a very good head, richly stored with ingenious, and religious notions, yet she had a far better heart, more abundantly furnished with excellent graces, whereof we will single out some.
1. For her faith, which is the hand that turneth the key to unlock the storehouse of divine beneficence:Her faith. This appeared by a Paper written with her own hand, wherein she did set down the Articles of her faith in full, plain, and perspicuous terms with pertinent proofs of Scripture to every point, and then she maketh particular application thereof to her self, as thus:
I do believe the Scriptures to be the very Word of God,The confession of her faith. 2 Tim. 3. 16. 2 Pet. 1. 21. and I have found them so to me by the witness of Gods Spirit, which I have felt testifying of them, and by the unutterable comfort which I have received by them, wonderfully refreshing my heart when it was in the deepest distress, whereby God hath made them so good unto me that I account them better than thousands of gold, and silver, Psal. 119. 72.
I do believe that God made man at first after his own Image, Gen. 1. 26. which Image did chiefly consist in knowledge, and holiness, Eccles. 7. 29. Eph. 4. 24. and out of admiration of this Image, I do long for that time when I shall be satisfied with it, Psal. 17. 15.
I do believe that all mankind hath sinned, 1 King. 8. 46. and that the nature of man is stained with sin from the birth, Psal. 51. 5. I know, and must acknowlegde that the cause of all the afflictions which do befall me in this life is in my self, and I know no cause to murmure at my crosses when I look upon my sin.
I do believe that Jesus Christ is God, and my God, Psal. 68. 20. and in that he is a God, and my God, it doth exceedingly comfort me: For he is full of grace to supply my wants; a Counsellor to direct me in my doubts; Almighty to defend me; and an everlasting Father to love, pitty, and bear with mine infirmities, and to spare me; a Prince of peace to perform reconciliation with his Father for me, and to fill me with the peace which passeth all understanding, and that he will establish, and order me henceforth, and for ever.
I do believe that the Passion of Christ was by the eternall decree, and appointment of God, Act. 2. 23. and that his sorrows were sustained for our sins, and for our sakes, so as he bore all our iniquities, 1 Pet. 2. 24. and that in his own person, he fullfilled, and finished all sufferings needfull for our salvation, 1 Pet. 3. 18 and that his Passion (so grievous as cannot be imagined) is a sufficient price for the sins of the world, Joh 2. 29. therefore why should not I be willing to suffer any thing for his sake, that hath suffered so great things for me: and say (with St. Paul) God forbid that I should rejoyce in any thing but in the Cross of Christ. I will for ever trust in him; and relie upon him as the life of my life, and as to me both in life, and death advantage: and having such a proof of the infinite love of God to me in not sparing his own Son, but giving him up to death for me, shall I ever doubt of my freedome from condemnation, such a price being paid for the discharge of my debts by such a surety?
I do believe that Christ overcame sin, death, the grave, and Hell, and rose again from the dead, ascended into Heaven, and sitteth on the right hand of God in Majesty, Rom. 1. 4. and that he hath purchased his Church by his bloud, and that he is a Lawgiver to his Church, Jam. 4. 12. which is gathered by his voice, Joh. 17. 9. seperated from sinfull society with the world: For she is an holy Church, Eph. 5. 25. yet dispersed over the world; for she is Catholick, Eph. 1. 10. and though Catholick, and dispersed, yet but one, Eph. 4. 4. knit unto Christ by an indissolveable union, Col. 1. 18. And I am sure that I am a member of this Church For I am called out of sinfull communion with the: world by the voice of the Ministers of Christ, who are in his stead, and seperated from it by the power of the Word, and I do relie upon Christs merits for righteousness, and salvation. I do not delight in the society of the wicked, but in theirs who fear him, whom I love with sincere affections, as the most worthy people of the world, and whatsoever I want of an holy life, yet I do not live after my old evil conversation; but I constantly endeavour to be more, and more holy. What thanks shall I give unto God, who hath called me out of darkness into his marvellous light, and saved me from the common condemnation of the world? O the depth of the love of Christ unto me!
I do believe that there shall be a generall Judgement, Psal. 9. 8. that Christ shall be the Judge, a visible Judge in his humane nature, Act. 17. 13. that it shall be at the last day; but the precise day, and hour is not known to any man, or Angel, Mat. 24. 36. that then every man shall be judged, Jude 15. and every secret thing shall be brought to light, Rom. 2. 16. and that the judgement will be most just, and so confessed by all, Rom. 2. 5, 6. why then should I fear the last Judgement, seeing he shall be my Judge who is my Brother, Advocate, and Redeemer? He that was willingly judged for me, will give no hard sentence against me; yea he hath already absolved me from my sins, and given me the earnest of his Spirit, and the seal of the Sacraments, and I have judged my self that I may not be condemned with the world, 1 Cor. 11. 32.
I do beleeve that the glory of Heaven is unspeakable, and incomprehensible by us here on earth, 1 Cor. 2. 9. that is it eternal, Matth. 25. 45. and that it is the gift of God proceeding onelyonly from his free Grace, not our merit, Luke 12. 32. his free gift bestowed onelyonly upon the Elect, Rev. 21. 27. O that I could by the effectualness of contemplation behold the greatness of this felicity which is provided for me! yet as I can conceive it, I cannot choose but long to be absent from hence, that I may be present with the Lord, 2 Cor. 5. 8. whose admirable beauty I shall clearly see, and know as I am known, and that with a perfection both of holiness and happiness; such holiness as will not onelyonly free me from all sin, but from all possibility of sinning; such happiness as that, ceasing from all labour and sorrow, I shall enjoy an eternal Sabbath, and shall be free to all the treasures of Heaven, and (with the fruition of Gods glorious presence) shall enjoy the sweet society of all the glorified Saints and Angels. And all this, as it is unuterable, so it is unalterable: For as I cannot be disappointed of it because it is certain, so I cannot be deprived of it because it is eternal. How then should the hope of the future life, but swallow up the afflictions of the life present? and why should I fear Death, when being dead I shall be so blessed?
Yet was not her Faith elevated so high,Her Faith. but that she could readily apply it to promises of an inferiour degree: For as she trusted in God at all times, as David teacheth, Psal. 62. 8. so did she in all things, whether temporal or eternal. In straits and difficulties for the affairs of this life, she had that ready at hand: Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass, Psal. 37. 5. If at any time she was sinisterly censured by any one, her faith applied that promise to her heart, He shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgement as the noon day, Psal. 35. 6. And whatsoever it were that came upon her as a cross, her faith was either as a wreathe betwixt her shoulders and it, that it did not pinch her, or a remover of it from her self to him, who was best able to bear it, by vertue of that Warrant, Psal. 55. 22. Cast thy burthen upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee, and that done, her faith which teacheth to keep an eaven pace with the promises, not making haste, Isa. 28. 16. by anticipating the time of accomplishment, taught her soul to wait upon God, as Davids did, Psal. 62. 1. to effect his own work, at his own time, in his own way and manner, wherein she would not prescribe any thing at all.
By this daily exercise of her Faith,Her Comfort. she gained a great deal of freedome, and lightsomness of spirit, which admirably appeared in her deportment upon great disappointments of that which was her own due, and unexpected payments unto others: when she hath seen no way of supply for the present occasions, she hath believed that Gods providence would effect what her forecast could not, when she was not wanting in the use of means, and that he could furnish her with that which should be sufficient, albeit for the present she saw not how, nor by what means it would come to pass; and therefore when she had done what belonged to her duty, in the affiance of her Faith, she rested quiet, and remained cheerful, and slept neither the less, nor the worse for it; and that which confirmed her confidence the more was, that she still found by experience that God was most worthy to be trusted.
That her Faith was as good as it was great, appeared by the effect of it in her Devotion and Piety, which was suitable to her knowledge of God, and her faith in him; by both which, as she had a clear apprehension of him, so none had more dear, and devout affections to him, or more assured signs of such, than she, as appeared in these particulars:
She was frequently,Her frequent Prayers. and fervently conversant with God (besides the publick) in her private supplications, and therein was he most favourably familiar with her; for he sent forth his Spirit into her heart, whereby she cried, Abba Father, Gal, 4. 6. The Spirit of Grace and Supplication, Zach. 12. 10. which enabled her in an extraordinary manner and measure to pour out her soul into his bosome; and though she duely esteemed of the solemn prayers of the sacred Assemblies (whereof a learned and pious Divine said, that never any one prayed well privately, who contemned, or neglected the publick prayers of the Church) and never sleighted, or censured set forms of Prayer, yet could she, and that excellently well, conceive Prayer, and vary her Petitions as the present occasion did require.
Yea in this Devotion she was so abundant in apt and pertinent expressions,Her fervent Prayers. that indeed it was admirable, that one so silent in her common conversation with the world, should be so fluent, and eloquent in her entercourse with God. Nor was she more copious in speech, than fervent in spirit: For such was her holy violence in Prayer, as that she seemed not to knock at Heaven Gate for another to open it, but to make a battery upon it her self, and to break in by the powerful importunity of her supplications.
Her service also of God in this kinde, was no dry Devotion,Her prevalent Prayers. but steeped, and drenched in showres of tears; and though her prudence used as much privacy as might be herein, yet such a singular gift could not be hid from her servants, and some secret female friends, who sometimes, when they were sick, or possessed with fears, or pains of child-birth, they would move her with importunity to pray with them, and when she yeelded to them, and God to her, by answering her request, they were apt (as there was cause) to impute the good effect to her fervent supplications. A female friend of hers (who was her bed-fellow in London for many weeks together) and thereby was a partaker of her daily Devotions, professed that she was so plentifully furnished for utterance of her requests to God, that she never wanted variety of meet words to be presented unto him, but when a surcharge of sighs and tears put her Prayers to a pause.
When the heart is full of love, the mouth is filled with praise of a person most deservedly,Her holy Speech. and most dearly beloved, whereof we have an example in this vertuous Gentlewoman, who when time, company, and occasion did invite her to communicate to others the good matter which her heart had indited of God, she used her Tongue as the pen of a ready writer, Psal. 45. 1. And when she had that great King for the subject of her speech, she spake of him with such hearty and savoury relishes of sacred delight and reverence, and with such an affectionate force, as if her soul were ready to leap out at her lips into the ears of others, to kindle the same holy fire in their hearts who heard her, which burned in her own bosome, longing (as David did) that others might taste, and see the goodn…ss of the Lord, Psal. 34. 8. that they might be Rivals with her in her Religious love; and glad she was when any sinner was converted, or any already called, better enabled to promote the glory of God, and that was the end which she principally aimed at in her godly discourse of him
In giving vent to her heart in this duty,Her Humility she could spend her spirits with great delight, both to her self, and to those choice friends who had opportunity to hear her, when just occasion was ministred unto her; and yet when she had spoken best, she found matter of complaint in her own expressions, as being too faint, and too flat, and so far below that which was meet for the Majesty of the great God, insomuch as all the acceptation which she desired of him, was but to pardon her presumption (as the errour of her love) for taking upon her to speak of his Excellency, and the weakness of her spirit and speech, which made her fall infinitely short of doing him right in the publication of his praise.
Another evidence of her dear affection unto God,Her love to Gods children was the great love, which for his sake, she bore to whom, or whatsoever had any near relation to him, according to that 1 Joh. 4. 21. He that loves God must love his brother also: and he must love him rather in a direct, than in a collateral line, as Gods childe, rather than as his brother, more for Gods sake than for his own: The dearest degree of love belongs to those persons and things which are nearest to him, and to such she bore a sincere, and singular good will: As to his Saints with David, Psal. 16. 3. and to his true Religion, and worship, both at home, and abroad, the happy progress and prosperity whereof was with her (as Jerusalem with David) preferred above her chiefest joy, and to the Church of Christ.Psal. 137. 6. and it was a great affliction to her heart, to hear any ill tidings of any good man, or any good cause.
She highly prized Gods word, and in the blessed Sacrament of the Lords Supper,Her love to the Word and Sacrament, she felt such a sweet refreshing as might make amends for the severity of her frequent fasting, so that for her part, and portion of it, in respect of the common sort of Communicants, she might say, I have meat that ye know not of, Joh. 4. 32. Dainties, which infinitely exceed whatsoever delighteth, or pleaseth a sensual pallate: For the house of God, she shewed her self just of Davids minde, when she said, I have loved the habitation of thy house, the place where thine honour dwelleth, Psal. 26. 8. and How amiable are thy Tabernacles, O Lord of Hosts, my soul longeth, yea even fainteth for the Courts of the Lord, Psal. 84. 1, 2.
If by any imperious impediment she were kept from the Church (as by sickness in her body,and House of God. &c.) her soul was love-sick by her longings to be there; and whereas many women take a little occasion to absent themselves from it, she would many times force her feeble body to carry her soul to the Sanctuary, though the day before she were confined not only to her chamber, but to her bed; whereby though she hazarded her health, yet it pleased God so graciously to accept of her zeal to his House, that she was never the worse for those pious adventures.
She kept a great distance from doting on the world,Her weanedness from the world. which St. James condemns as enmity to God, Jam. 4. 4. Though while she lived she could not choose but be in the world, yet did she so love her dear Lord Jesus Christ, that for his sake she was exceedingly estranged from the world; which appeared,
1. By her estrangement from sensual delights, which she shewed by her frequent fasting from meats and drinks: By her abstinence from such sports and pastimes as before her conversion she had been too immoderately addicted unto, and by her fi…m resolution to forbear Marriage after her widowhood, and to rest in that condition wherein she might best attend upon the service of God.
Indeed her love, and delight in communion with God,Her frequent Fasting. made her mindeless of meat, and careless of provision for the flesh. Well she knew, that though fasting makes the body weak (as David saith, My knees are weak through fasting, and my flesh faileth of fatness, Psal. 109. 20.) yet it strengthneth the spirit, and maketh it vigorous in conflict, and victorious in the event; yea fasting and prayer make a potent combination, which is able to drive the strongest Devil out of his usurped possession, as Matth. 17. 21. These two she used, not onelyonly as weapons against the Devil, but as wings to elevate her soul God-ward and heaven-ward; yet herein was she observant of our Saviours rule, Mat. 17. 18. that she fasted without an appearance of fasting, onelyonly the next day it might be discerned by her faintness, she having spent her spirits in spiritual exercises the day before.
For those sports and pastimes wherein formerly she had taken too much contentment,Her abstinence from Sports, she not onelyonly abstained from them, but much complained of her vanity in them: Her eyes (which before were used to behold them with delight, now) shed tears of shame and sorrow, that formerly she had set her minde so much upon them, and now she imployed them in the more frequent and affectionate reading of the holy Scriptures, wherein she took more delight than she had done before in the most pompous Spectacles, set out to take the eyes with gazing, and the minde with wonder.
And as for Marriage, her heart was so devoted to her Lord Christ,and from Marriage. that though she had divers fair invitations to it, by such as both for profit, and credit, and other considerable respects, were worthy rather to be desired, than denied, yet she resolved not to change her condition in that kinde, and that not onelyonly in love, and loyalty to her former Husband, but that she might be more free to serve God according to that of St. Paul, 1 Cor. 7. 34. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but she that is married careth for the things of the world how she may please her Husband.
2. She had so chosen God for her portion,Her weanedness from the world. and set up her rest in the riches of his love, that she had but little minde of the worlds riches. She knew, that riches may be had, and well used of the Religious; and that poverty alone commends no man unto God, as St. Jerom speaks, yet did she not dote upon them; but though she was competently careful and frugal, as Christ prescribeth, Joh. 6. 12. Gather up the broken meat that nothing be lost; and though she was provident as the Apostle requires, 1 Tim. 5. 8. If any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own hosue, he hath denyed the faith, and is worse than an Infidel; yet withall beleeving that of the Prophet David, Psal. 37. 16. A little that the righteous hath is better than the riches of many wicked; and as conforming her self to that of St. John, Love not the world, nor the things of the world, 1 Joh. 2. 15. She often besought of Almighty God rather to make, and keep her poor, than to suffer her heart in any sort to sink down from her Maker, to dote upon Mammon.
She was one that could very well finde in her heart to honour God with her substance, Her bounty to the Ministry.as Prov. 3. 9. She was as cheerful in her layings out for him, as any Miser could be in his layings up for himself; and when she heard of the irreligious Parsimony of some towards the maintenanance of the publick Ministry in that City of Chester, she hath professed that she had rather be at all the charge of all the common contributions her self (if her estate would bear it) than that God should be grumbled at, or his service poorly prized, or the wages of his work unwillingly paid.
Another undoubted testimony of her true love to God,Her desire to dye. was in that she so much desired to dye out of a fervent affection to him, insomuch that she feared a long life would keep her too long from the enjoyment of him; being therein like unto David in those ardent aspirations of his, As the Hart panteth after the water Brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God, my soul thirsteth for God, for the living God, when shall I come, and appear before him, Psal 42. 1, 2.
That which worldlings are most afraid of, that she so much wished for, that her friends were fain to plead with her to be pleased with life, though she, not being contented with their Arguments, contended against them by contrary reason, shewing first why she did desire to dye. Secondly, why she was not afraid of Death, and hoping that it would not tarry long, she had in readiness some special matters to be remembred at her Death, which she left in writing under her own hand, and are as followeth:
First, Why I desire to dye:
I desire to dye, because I want while I live here, the glorious presence of God,Why she desired Death. which I love and long for, and that sweet fellowship of the Angels, and Saints who would be glad of me as I am of them, and would entertaine me with unwearied delight.
I desire to dye, because while I live, I shall want the perfection of my nature, and be as an estranged, and banished person from my Fathers house.
I desire to dye, because I would not live to offend so good a God, nor to grieve his holy Spirit: For his loving kindness is better than life it self: And he is abundant in mercy to me, and it doth lye as an heavy load upon my heart many times, to think of dipleasing him.
I desire to dye, because this world is generally infected with the plague of sin, and some have this Plague-sore running upon them, and I my self …m tainted with the same disease, so as whilst I live here, I can be in no place, nor in any company, but I am still in danger of being infected, or to infect others, and if this world doth hate me because I endeavour to follow goodness, how will it rejoyce if my foot do but slip? Therefore how woful would my life be unto me, if I should give occasion to the world to triumph, or blaspheme in respect of me? I cannot choose but desire to dye, when I consider that sin, like a leprosie hath so corrupted me, that there is no soundness in me, my minde, my memory, my will, and affections, yea my very conscience is still impure; in every faculty of my soul there is a miserable mixture of vile infection which makes me aweary of my life; and all this is the worse, because it is incurable, and inseparable companion of my life, so that I can go no whither to avoid it; there is no business that I can dispatch that concerns my happiness without a muteny in mine heart; though Gods works be all fair works, yet there are in my nature many defects, insufficiencies, mistakings and transgressions; so that I may say with David, Innumerable evils have compassed me about, mine iniquities have taken hold on me, so that I am not able to look up, Psal. 40. 12. I therefore desire Heaven for holiness rather than for happiness, that I might sin no more. I desire that condition wherein I may most glorifie God.
I desire to dye, because of the Devils malignant, and uncessant assaults: I can stand no where before the Lord on earth, but one Devil or other, is at my right hand, and must of necessity enter into conflict with them, and their temptations, and be buffeted, and gored by them, which is a thousand fold worse than Death: More easie it is to wrestle with Flesh and Blood, than with those Principalities and Powers, and spiritual wickednesses, and great Rulers of the world: For they are subtle and cruel, and and like roaring Lions they go about seeking whom they may devour, 1 Pet. 5. 8.
I desire to dye, because by Death I shall rest from the hard labours of this life.
I desire to dye, because nothing in this world can give me solid, and durable contentment: I am less in liking of life, and have more desire of death when I consider the misery that may come both on my body and estate, and fearful alterations may come, and wars may come, and all the desolations, and terrours which accompany them, and I may be left in the hands of the sons of violence: Besides I daily suffer the loss of my friends who were the companions of my life, and means of much contentment unto me; and those whom I lose by my life, I shall finde by my death, and enjoy in another world unto all eternity: And for my children it doth not trouble me, for that God which hath given life and breath, and all they have, while I am living, can, without me, provide for them when I am dead; my God will be their God, if they be his, if they be not, what comfort would it be for me to live? my life would be exceeding bitter unto me if I should see them dishonour God, whom I so much love.
When she enjoyed the greatest portion of temporal or spiritual comfort, yet would she never say, Master, it is good to be here, as Matth. 17. 4. but making that but a step for an higher ascent, she rather inferred, It is good going hence: For if on earth there be so much good, how pleasant and desirable is Heaven; the joyes on earth to those that are there, are but as the earth is to Heaven, little, and low, dark, and heavy.
Why I do not fear Death.
I fear not Death,Why she feared not death. because it is but the separation of the body from th sould, and that it is but a shadow of the body of death, Rom. 7. 24. whereas the separation of the soul from God by sin, Isa. 59. 2. and of soul and body for sin, is death indeed.
I fear not Death, because Death is such an enemy as hath been often vanquished, and because I am armed for it, and the weapons of my Warfare are mighty through God, and I am assured of victory.
I do not fear Death for the pain of it; for I am perswaded I have endured as great pains in life, as I shall finde in Death, and Death will cure me of all sorts of pains; and because Christ dyed a terrible and cursed Death, that any kinde of Death might be blessed to me; and that God, who hath greatly loved me in life, will not neglect me in death; but his Spirit will succour and strengthen me all the time of the combate.
I do not fear Death for any loss: For I shall but lose my body by it, and that is but a prison to my soul, an old rotten house, or ragged garment, nay I shall not lose that neither, for I shall have it restored again at my Saviours second coming made much better than now it is: For this vile body shall be like the Body of Christ, and by death I shall obtain a far better life.
And as an incentive of Divine love, she prepared a breviate of Gods principal benefits to her self for meditation on her Death-bed, and for thanksgiving to God, which was this:
How shall I praise God,Her thankfulfulness. 1. For my Conversion. 2. For his Word, both in respect of my affections to it, and the wonderful comforts I have had by it. 3. For hearing of my prayers. 4. For godly sorrow. 5. For fellowship with the godly. 6. For joy in the Holy Ghost. 7. For the desire of death. 8. For contempt of the world. 9. For private helps and comforts. 10. For giving me some strength against my sin. 11. For preserving me from gross evils both before, and after my calling, &c.
She shewed her holy love to God,Her universal obedience. by conforming her practice to his Precepts, according to that Joh. 14. 15. If you love me, keep my Commandements. She thought nothing too much that she should stick at (if God commanded, or forbad it) nothing so small, but his Word was able to give it weight enough to bow down her neck to the obedience of it. If it was a greater matter that he required of her, she considered, that he was a God infinitly, both great and good, and that unto her, who had and would do for her ten thousand times more and greater things than she could do for him: If it were a little thing, she conceived that the contempt or neglect of it would aggravate her guilt, as Naamans servants said to their Master, If the Prophet had bidden thee do some great matter, wouldst thou not have done it? How much rather when he saith unto thee, wash, and be clean? 2 King. 5. 18. the less the duty is, the more is the disobedience if we do it not; for thereby we extenuate the Authority of the Almighty, and such as sleight it in a little thing, will not regard it in a greater: She was therefore very precise in every point which God required the per…formance of.
By this means she still increased in holiness and sanctification, and kept a greater distance from great offences; according to that of St. Jerom, Non cito ad majora progreditur, qui parva formidet, who so is afraid of a small sin, will not easily grow bold on those that are greater.Her love to God. Her love to God was strong as death, Cant. 8. 4. yea, and much stronger, so that Death could not affright her; for she desired da…ly to look death in the face, nor could it hurt her more than she was content to endure: For though it was not likely that she should go through the narrow wicket of Death, and not be pinched in her passage, yet was she well contented with it, seeing it was the ready way to come to God, whom she so much longed to behold.
Her Charity was very chary of the credit of the absent,Her Charity. towards whom she would not suffer either her tongue, or her ears be guilty of any wrong or robbery of their reputations. She never imposed false crimes, or feigned faults upon others: She never discovered their secret sins, or aggravated those that were known: She never denied, dissembled, nor diminished the vertue or good parts of any. Though her hatred of sin was such as became a sincere Christian, yet knew she how to distinguish betwixt sin, and the sinner, and setting a severe dislike on the one, she reserved (as charity required) love, or compassion for the other.
Her Charity was regular according to the Rules of Scripture, which she set down in a paper▪ with quotations of Texts for her direction in four particulars, 1. I must give readily, Job 31. 16. Prov. 3. 28. 1 Tim. 6. 18. 2. I must give secretly, Matth▪ 6. 3. 3. I must give liberally, 2 Cor. 8. 12. & 9. 6. 4. I must give cheerfully, 2 Cor. 8. 12. It was answerable also according to her own ability, and others necessities: She had rather give a little to many (since the number of the needy is very great) then a great deal to a few; and she so ordered her charity, that she might still be able to exercise her hand that way, and not as some, who give so much that after a while they can give no more. And upon extraordinary occasions, if she were not magnificent, the let was not in her minde, but in her means.
Her Charity was vigorus, and so cordial that what she gave was alwayes without grudging, knowing that God loves a cheerful giver, 2 Cor. 9. 7. yea she was so cheerful herein, that she bestowed nothing upon her self with more readiness, than she did upon others, whether it were towards the maintenance of the Ministry, or in giving Almes to the poor; and yet herein did she follow the rule of our Saviour, Matth. …. 6. Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doth; for she was many times as close in giving her own, as a Thief would be in taking away from others; so that none did more good deeds with less shew, or sound of words than she.
For the object of her charity, she took her direction from the Apostles precept, Gal. 6. 10. Do good unto all, but especially to the houshold of faith. She indeed shut up her charity from none that had need of it, but she enlarged it chiefly to such as were of the faithfull.
Her love and charity was very intire,Her love to her neighbours and great to her friends, yet not so confined to them, but that she reserved a competent measure for them that dealt unfriendly with her, or that were enemies to her. If there was any unkinde difference between her, and any one, though she enjoyed the freedome of her judgement to think as there was cause, yet would she not suffer her affections to be estranged from them, but was ready to do them good, if power, and opportunity did furnish her for it. She requited love for hatred, pity for spight, …riendly offices for offensive usages, She bare ill will to none. She hated nothing, but that which is worse than nothing [Sin] and that she hated in all, and most of all in her own soul.
As her Charity was evidenced by doing,Her Sympathy so also by suffering: If any tribulation were upon others, or imminent over them, she was like minded with her Lord and Master, according to that of the Prophet, Isa. 63. 9. In all their afflictions he was afflisted. She did passionately sympatize in the sufferings of her fellow-members: If it was ill with the Church, or any particular Saints; it was no better with her. Charity made her suffer as much by inward affection, as they did of their enemies by outward affliction.
Her Patience also was very remarkable:Her Patience. For though her apprehensions were quick enough to conceive any thing tending to the disturbance of peace and patience; yet she enjoyed such a calmness of spirit as could hardly be turned to a storm. If any were injurious towards her, her tongue could more readily pray, and her eyes weep for them, than with looks, or words of indignation, or disdain set upon them. If she were angry at others, which was very seldome, it was sin, their sin that was the cause of it. If news came to her of any losses in her estate, as sometimes there did of great ones, yet was she never put out of temper with those ill tidings, having these considerations ready at hand to quiet her heart: It is that God that gave all, that now taketh away some, why should I take it ill? He would not have me to be in love with, nor to relye upon uncertain riches, which were never true to any that trusted them, but upon himself, and I willingly renounce them to rest upon him. He can, if he see it good, recompence the loss, in the like, or some better kinde. If he take more, there will yet be many poorer than my self; and if he take away all my goods, he can give me content without them, for he is All-sufficient, and so though I have nothing, I may be as possessing all things, 2 Cor. 6. 10. The world and I must part, and whether we be unstiched by parcels, or torn asunder by taking all at once, all is one to me; that which he chooseth is best for us both, for his owne glory, and my good, if I grudge not against him, but willingly (as I pray) give way to his will.
By bodily sufferings her patience was exceedingly tried both for the truth and strength of it: For of some of her children she had long, painful, and very perilous labour; but that which exceeded all, was, a long, and sore sickness, to which were applied very rough and irksome remedies, so that she suffered not onelyonly the anguish of her disease, but many things also of the Physitians, as that woman in the Gospel, Mark 5. 28. and had it onelyonly been pain and torment, it had been more tolerable; but it was accompanied with a strange infirmity and deformity. Her jaw being faln, she could not bring it up towards her upper jaw: Her mouth was drawn awry towards her ears, so that with much difficulty both to her self and others, her food was conveyed through so crooked a passage to her throat; which might have caused the greater discontent to her minde, because it was the shipwrack of much beauty and comeliness, which until then was seated in her countenance, and whereof she kept remarkable impressions to her dying day; yet shewed she admirable patience under this great affliction, to which her heart was brought meekly to submit; and concerning which, she said, that if it pleased the Lord still to continue her a spectacle of deformed misery, she would not repine at his doing, or her own suffering, but would willingly, abide it until he freed her body from the disease by health, or her soul from her body by death.
Her Modesty also manifested it self by her shame-faced estrangement from sin and vanity,Her Modesty. concerning which vertue in her it may be said, that it was rather sometimes too much, than any time too little, and it shewed it self divers wayes.
1. In her look, which was habitually composed to a modest and gracious gravity, so that against any thing that was unseemly to be said, or done, she carried a severe rebuke in her very countenance; or if any were so immodest as to speak, or do any thing before her, not becoming Christianity, her modesty made some supply to their want of it, she would blush for them.
2. In her Speech, whereas some would have vaunted themselves, or made some vain-glorious shew of such sufficiency as was in her, she rather shadowed her own light with a dark Lanthorn, and therefore in that wherein she was a teacher, she carried her self as in the person of a learner, rather asking questions, than making resolutions, or giving rules, and directions unto others.
3. By her Silence: For as St. Ambrose saith, Though… silence be a rest to other vertues, yet is it a chief act, an… exercise of Modesty; yea her pace, her habit, and he whole behaviour was a lesson of modesty, which, together with her other vertues, wrought a kinde of awfulness in her person, so that those that had not grace to do well in private, were more afraid and ashamed of an appearance of evil in her presence, than in the sight of many a Magistrate.
As for Humility,Her Humility. she made great account of it, she studied it seriously, and got it so by heart, that there was no need of Art to make profession or ostentation of it. Solomon makes contention the proper effect of pride, Prov. 13. 10. So peaceableness is a sure sign of Humility; and this she shewed in that she could endure contradiction, reproaches, and other trials of Humility without a quarrel, or breach of peace with any, being still ready to deny her self, and to yeeld to others so far as with a safe conscience she could. Once a new Gown being brought her to put on, and presented as a gift from he Husband, wherein his kindness had put him to more cost than she wished, to make her more fine than she desired to be, she humbly besought with tears that it might not come upon her back; she said indeed little with her tongue, but her eyes spoke much, because she was loath to conrradict him whom she was bound to obey; and at last she submitted to his will, though against her own, not onelyonly because that habit was no better than others of her rank did wear, but because it was a testimony of her Husbands love, and of her own loyal subjection to his will; wherein she followed the advice of Bishop Hall in his Contemplations. A good Wife.It is not (saith he) for a good wife to judge of her Husbands will but to execute it; neither wit, nor stomack may carry her into a curious inquisition into the reasons of an enjoyned charge, much less to a resistance, but in an hoodwinckt simplicity she must follow whithersoever she is led, as one that holds her chief praise to consist in subjection, following her Husband, as the Israelites did the cloudy Pillar, which when it stood, they stood, when it went they followed. And indeed it was no marvel that she was so obsequious to her Husband, for amongst her papers were found special directions which she had, drawn out of the Scripture, for her conjugal affection, and behaviour towards her Husband, which were these which follow, under this Title;
Duties which concern me in particular.
I must submit my self to my Husband, as to the Lord, Eph. 5. 22.
I must account him my Head, Eph. 5. 23.
I must be in subjection to him in all things, as the Church unto Christ, Eph. 5. 24.
I must get his consent even for those times that I set apart for Religious duties, 1 Cor. 7. …, 10.
I must walk pleasingly towards him, 1 Cor. 7. 34.
When by his death she was loosed from the Law of her Husband, she would have returned to a meaner habit, but because it was suitable to the place which she held in the City (as having been wife to him who had been twice Mayor of Chester, and divers times a Burg…ss of Parliament) and for that God made such good things neither onelyonly, nor principally for the use, and wearing of the wicked, but for his children; and that it might not be imputed either to singularity nor nigardize, she made no remarkable change in her attire; and indeed, to keep down pride, she would not eat the bread of idleness, Prov. 31. 27. but willingly wrought with her hands, as that vertuous woman did, vers. 13. and readily descended to such homely offices as were meet for the meanest of her servants.
Notwithstanding such excellent gifts,Her preferring others before her self. and graces wherewith God had inriched her soul, her mind was not lifted up to vaunting or vanity, nor to the undervaluing or envying Gods gifts in others, but in lowliness of minde, she esteemed others better than her self, Phil. 2. 3. disavowing her own praise, though those that gave it, thought it much less than her due, and advancing others far before her self, though in gifts they were far below her; and no marvel, for she was not as those who are far more curious to know the faults of others than to correct their own, but an exact enquirer into her own life, a severe censurer of her own imperfections and failings; and as for others, she observed them most for that which was best in them, to make her self more holy by imitating them therein, and more humble for that wherein she fell short of them.
She often presented, and arraigned her self before Gods Tribunal to bring her self down in submission as guilty before him, begging pardon on her knees at his hands; and she came the lower by comparing her own faultiness, infirmity, and misery with his infinite Purity, Power, and Majesty, in comparison of whom, All Nations are but as the drop of the Bucket, or the small dust in the Ballance, Isa. 40. 15. which made her to think of him with admiration, and love, and of her self with detestation and loathing; and when she took notice of any good thing in her self, she boasted not of it, even because she had received it, and that of Gods free gift, making it a Memento of thankfulness to him that gave it her, knowing that he might have passed by her, and given it to another, and that he might be provoked to take it away from her, if she should take any of that glory to her self which was due unto him alone.
She alwayes held this for a Maxime, Her Sincerity.that if it be good to be esteemed vertuous (and most desire to be so esteemed) than to be so indeed, is much better; for the substance of a good thing is alwayes better than the semblance of it; therefore she was so sincere in her whole course, that she hated the least appearance of Hypocrisie: She was one of those whom David blesseth for their integrity, Bl…ssed are they who keep his Testimonies, and seek him with their whole heart, Psal. 119. 2. Her love was without dissimulation, Rom. 12. 9. She loved not in word, or in tongue onelyonly, but in deed, and in truth, 1 Joh. 3. 18. and this appeared in that she made her deeds of charity and good will alwayes better than her words, whereof she was so chary, that some blamed her for want of affability, which being objected to her, she said, I like not the lavish language of some, who have their mouthes full of complemental curtesie to every one, though their hearts be shut and contracted, when their mouthes are so enlarged; and if they have love enough within to maintain such liberality of words without, I like my own heart the worse, that it is not so ready to attend upon my tongue, as on the sudden to minister cordial affections meet for such frank and friendly expressions. She used rather to let her friends see her love by her works, than to hear it by her words.
Her Constancy also was very remarkable, by which her spirit was stedfast with God,Her Constancy. and her heart stedfast in his Covenant, as the Israelites should have been, but were not, Psal. 78. 8, 37. Her faith was grounded and settled, Col. 1. 23. so that she was not carried away with divers and strange Doctrines, Heb. 13. 9. much less with every wind of Doctrine, Eph. 4. 14. But what she was for faith and godliness from her first conversion, the same she was in all places,Her growth in G…ace. at all times, and in all companies: But for the measure or degree of Grace, she was not, as a stake in an hedge, which grows not, but as a plant in the Garden that springeth up, no dwarf in Gods house, but one that by spiritual nourishment, and daily exercise of her graces, grew up apace towards the stature of Christ, and as its said of the path of the just, Prov. 4. 18. She shined more, and more unto the perfect day: So that she was best at last, and most heavenly minded when she had the least time to tarry on the earth.
She was a loyal, and obedient Wife; a careful, and kinde, though not a found Mother; a gentle and beneficent Mistress; a good and a charitable neighbour, and a true and constant friend.
Towards her latter end she fell into some bodily distempers,Her sickness. wherein she had fits or trances, like the embrions of death, which (by a gradual failing of her spirits) left her at last unable to speak or move, yet without any great alteration in her countenance, which, by some, was conceived to be a spice of the Mother, it was short, and not sharp, for she felt no pain; yet when she returned to her self, she found that she was commonly more feeble than before.
Upon the Munaay sevenight before she dyed, was the first assault given, which set Deaths pale colour upon her face and fingers from the middle joynts towards the ends; her nails turned to a blewish black, which being rubbed a while, returned again to their former complexion, and she remained that night indifferent well; the next day her disease appeared in the form and quality of a kindely ague, and so continued mostly t…ll within three or four daies before her end, & then it turned from an intermitting Ague to a continual Feaver, that afflicted her with extream burning, and other pains which commonly accompany such a disease, especially when it rageth most as it doth towards the latter end.
During her sickness, having the free use of all her faculties, her soul, no doubt, was exercised in holy meditations; for wh…h she had kept in store many particulars of importance to be remembred at her departure out of this world. Her desires were strong for a speedy dissolution, so that she implored God with the request of David, Psal. 38. 22. Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation: and Psal. 40. 13. Be pleased O Lord to deliver me, O Lord make haste to help me: And this she desired that she might have a joyful meeting with him, and fruition of him, after whom her soul longed, even then when her life was most lightsome, and her condition most comfortable: And now the time drew near that her desire was to be granted in that kinde which she most desired,Her Death. by the power of death, to pass to the Authour of life, which she did in such a calm manner that when she was thought to be but asleep, she was found to be dead, on Friday, August the 17. Anno Christi 1638.