The Husbandmans Companion, Meditation 98
Upon ſickneſs ſpoiling all earthly delights.
98. Med.
WHen I had fitted things to my minde, and began to take delight in the works of my hands, when I began to ſing a requiem to my ſelf, and my heart (with Solomons) rejoyced in all my labour, Eccl. 2.10. yea, when I had promiſed my ſelf content in what I had done, I was ſuddenly forced to ſay with wiſe Solomon, Eccleſ. 14. behold all is vanity and vexation of ſpirit; nothing in themſelves, yet ſufficient to vex and perplex us; ſin hath produced a confuſion in the world, and ſtampt vanity upon the creature, every man (ſaith David) in his beſt eſtate is altogether vanity; this is the impartiall verdict brought in by one that could beſt tell, and to this I was forc't to ſubſcribe, for God immediatly humbled me for ſetting my affection upon creature-comforts, and let me ſee the vanity of them, by viſiting me with a fit of ſickneſs, that I was taken off from ſetting my delight, or taking ſatisfaction in or upon them, or taking any pleaſure in any thing that I had done, nay, I was troubled that I had not ſpent my time better, and that I had not planted, ſet, or ſown in a more fertile ſoil, where I might have expected a more plentiful encreaſe, and had a better crop: this providence ſeemed to ſpeak to me, as Chriſt did to the rich man, Luk. 12.16. &c. that ſet his heart on his riches, and was not rich to God; thou fool, this night ſhall thy ſoul be required of thee, and then whoſe are theſe? this ſhewed me more of the vanity of humane felicity, then I had before obſerved; I plainly ſaw there was a double uncertainty in all earthly felicity, and in ſublunary enjoyments, for they themſelves are very uncertain, and many times ſhort-lived, and may leave us, or we may by death be arreſted, and then we ſhall leave them; God ſometimes takes them from us, they take themſelves wings and fly away, and ſhall we ſet our eyes upon things that are not? Pro. 23.5. there is no ſolid ſubſtance in them, though the fooliſh world call it by that name; they are as tranſitory as a haſty headlong torrent, but if they remain we ſhall remove; for our life paſſeth away as a ſhadow, or poſt, or weavers ſhuttle, and continueth not, and then thoſe winged fouls that now ſit upon our trees, ſhall ſit upon other mens, ſometimes God blows upon them, and blaſts them, that though we do enjoy them, they prove but a vexation to us: ſometimes he diſables us to uſe them, and ſometimes imbitters them to us, mixing them with gall and wormwood, that we can finde no pleaſure in them, and aſſuredly they will do us little good, when we have moſt need; ſuppoſe a man to have what the world can afford, yea, all the delights of the ſons of men, yea, all that his heart can wiſh, as Solomon had, Eccl. 2.27. yet one hours ſickneſs ſpoils all his mirth, and robs him of all the comfort he promiſed to himſelf; one fit of the collick, gout, ſtrangury, or other raging pain, yea, the extream pain of an aking tooth, puts a man beſides all theſe his enjoyments; yet how greedily do men graſp after the world, as if it included the higheſt degree of happineſs, and hug it in their boſome, and lodge it neareſt to the heart, which will prove no better, nay, much worſe then a buſh of thorns, if graſpt too hard; ſo this, the harder it is handled the worſe it hurts; oh foliſh man, cannot theſe earthly enjoyments give eaſe to an aking head, or heart? can they not mitigate the pains of the gout, collick, ſtone, or ſtrangury, and can it be imagined they can eaſe the conſcience, or cure a ſinſick ſoul? if not, what good can they do it? could Judas, Achitophel, Spira and others, fetch any comfort here in their extremity, no, no, they are like Jobs friends, miſerable comforters at ſuch a time; what good will gold do at death, and judgment? this coin is not currant in the other world, nay, in this world it brings little content, if God frown: if one ſpark of hell-fire flaſh in the conſcience, all theſe things cannot extinguiſh it; one drop of it will mar a whole cup of earthly delights; that in the midſt of laughter the heart will be ſorrowful, and the end of that mirth will be heavineſs, Pro. 14.13. nulla eſt ſincera voluptas; wicked men may dance to the timbrel and harp, but ſuddenly they turn into hell, Job. 21.12, 13. and their merry dance ends in a miſerable downfall; the candle of the wicked ſhall out in a ſnuff, and what will all theſe outward enjoyments ſignify then? Jobs flower, Jonahs gourd, and Davids green bay-tree, will ſoon wither, and their beauty will fade: all theſe things will leave us at death, many times before: how much need then have we to make preparation before-hand of ſomething that will ſtand us inſtead? This ſickneſs of mine alſo taught me how unfit a time this was for repentance, and yet how many poſt it off till then? oh, how unfit was I to examine my heart, and call my ſins to minde, to repent of them, when racking pains brought ſuch a confuſion upon me, that my thoughts were diſtempered and diſtracted, and I could not keep my heart intent upon any thing, when all I could do was little enough to wraſtle with my diſtemper; this made me reſolve, and oh that I could hold on my reſolution, if ever I recovered, I would remember my Creatour in the days of my health: oh my ſoul, ſeeing theſe outward things can do thee little good, but if overloved will do thee much hurt, ſet but a little value upon them, there is a treaſure to be had that will hold out, and pleaſures that will endure, which will keep up the head above water, under ſickneſs, ſorrow, and death; labour for this, but ro ſpend time on that which one hours ſickneſs will put us beſides, it is but labour loſt: oh my God, give me that for my portion, that will bear up my head, and heart, not only in ſickneſs, but in death it ſelf.