The Husbandmans Companion, Meditation 45
Upon a Toad.
45. Med.
OBſerving as I walked in the garden, in an evening, a loathſom foul, and ugly toad, crawling in my way, haſting from me as from a deadly enemy, to hide her head in a hole, to ſave her life, and that from one that ſhe had never wronged; this ſight occaſioned me this Meditation; how nigh akin am I to this poor creature, this diſpicable, loathed, and abhorred wretch, there is but the ſheers between us, nothing but the makers will; ſhe is my ſiſter, and may claim the right of primogeniture, as coming into the world before me; we have the ſame original, the ſame father, and the ſame mother; we were made of the ſame matter, by the hand of the ſame workman, but ſhe hath the precedency in nature, and came of the elder brother; both of us were of the ſame clay, and faſhioned by the ſame potter; hewn out of the ſame rock, and digged out of the ſame hole of the pit; and had it pleaſed the workman, I might have been the toad, and this the man, no thanks to me that it was not ſo, and it had been no wrong to me if it had been ſo; I might have been crawling into that hole to ſave my life, from one that deſired my death, and fed upon ſuch loathſom meat, that ſhe feeds on, but my God hath beſtowed more upon me, and denied it to her, even ſo Lord, becauſe it hath ſeemed good in thy eyes; oh my ſoul, what haſt thou done more for thy God, then this poor creature hath done? doubtleſs where more is given, more will be required; thou haſt received ten talents for one, nay an hundred for one, how haſt thou improved them? and God expects from man much more ſervice then from any other creature in the world, being only fitted for communion with himſelf: But hath not this deſpicable wretch, which thou thinkeſt is not worthy to live, ſerved God in her place better then thy ſelf? and anſwered the end of her creation better then man? and never tranſgreſt her maſters will, nor her makers law, as thou haſt done a thouſand times? ſhe deſires nothing more then life, and what is neceſſary to maintain it, and fears nothing more then death, and what tends to it, and doth no hurt, but it is imagined good to mankinde, unleſs hurt or provoked, and if ſhe have a noxious quality, it is queſtionable, whether the ſin of man hath not procured it: God hath given thee the uſe of reaſon, and made thee capable of communion with himſelf, and enjoying him for ever, and laid upon her (far more innocent) this puniſhment, of being hated and abhorred of all, and her life is put into thy hands, and whoſoever killeth her, thinks he hath not offended, thou canſt walk free from fear, when every one that ſees her deſires her death, and plots her ruine, and deſtruction; what cauſe then have I to bleſs God, that I was made a man, and not a toad, and that I had the uſe of reaſon given to me, and not made a bruit, but if I be not regenerate and born again, if I have not the image of God renewed in me, which I loſt by the fall, if I anſwer not the end of my creation and redemption, if my ſin be not mortified, and the power of my corruptions abated, if grace be not implanted in my heart, by the ſpirit of God; if I have not an intereſt in Chriſt, and a title to glory, if the miſtical marriage be not made between Chriſt and my ſoul, and my affections ſet upon him; if any thing in the world lie nearer to my heart then he doth, and be beloved above him, the time will come, and it will not be long firſt, that I ſhall wiſh, would God I had been made the toad, and this toad the man, for then my miſery would have ended with my life, when now it is like to begin at my death, and eternity of torments will be little enough to pay the debt which I owe; but her debts being nothing but death, will be ſoon diſcharged: oh my ſoul, if God do not diſtinguiſh thee from wicked men by grace, as well as from this toad by reaſon, thy miſery will be far worſe then hers, and thy condition more forlorn: Oh poor man whither art thou fallen? thou waſt in the creation made the glory of this Univerſe, and all the creatures to be thy ſervants, yea, the angels to be Miniſtring ſpirits for thy good, and now if God aſſiſt not in a new creation, the meaneſt, and moſt deſpicable of the creatures is in a better condition then thou art; Oh ſin, what woful work haſt thou made among us, and of what a bewitched nature art thou, and how haſt thou infatuated us, ſtill to doat upon thee, and to think thee lovely? oh my God, how good haſt thou been to me, and how evilly have I requited thee for thy good, and how fooliſhly have I behaved my ſelf to my own ſoul? thou createdſt me after thine own image, in knowledge, righteouſneſs and true holineſs, and gaveſt me dominion over thy creatures; thou madeſt me little lower then the angels, and crownedſt me with honour and dignity, Pſal. 8.4, 5, 6. ſuch I was when I paſt out of thy hand, but I have loſt this image, by the fall and this ſupremacy, and now this poor creature is in a better condition then I am by nature, and never tranſgreſs thy laws as I have done, but Lord, thou canſt renew thine image in me, and bring me to my primitive happineſs, Lord, do it, then ſhall I praiſe thee with unfained lips, that thou haſt made me a man.