The Husbandmans Companion, Meditation 23
Upon flowers ſeemingly dead in winter, yet flouriſhing in the ſpring.
23. Med.
WHen I obſerved ſome flowers in the garden, that all the winter long, when the ſun was remote in the Southern climate, hid their heads, withered, ſeemed to die, and to be extinct: and buried themſelves in their mother earth, yet at the return of the year, when their beloved ſmiled upon them, when the ſun came to the aequinoctial, and began to court them, and ſhine upon them with a more direct ray, and warmer gleam, they crept out of their grave, revived, ſprang again, and flouriſhed, like a love ſick woman, killed with a frown and recovered with a ſmile; thoſe that before go in their mourning-weeds, now put on their beſt apparel; This conſideration made me compare it to the ſtate of a poor ſoul in deſertion, when God the Sun of righteouſneſs her beloved, hides his face, and ſtands at a remote diſtance, then it is winter with the ſoul, then it droops, hangs down the head, and is ready to die, and cry out with the ſpouſe, ſtay me with flagons, comfort me with apples, I am ſick of love; but there may be life in the root, when it appears not in the branches, when the Sun of righteouſneſs ariſeth in the ſoul, with healing in his wings, Mal. 4.2. theſe dry bones will live; theſe dead branches will bud, theſe ſwouning, fainting ſouls will revive, and theſe buried flowers will ſpring out again; though they are in the ſhadow of death, light ſhall ſpring out to them: The hearb of grace will not die in a hard winter, when the ſpring comes it will bud and break forth, the beſt of Saints oft have had their fainting-fits: David that man after Gods own heart, though well acquainted with the incomes of the ſpirit, the ſmiles of God, and ſpirituall conſolations, yet had many qualms, and fainting-fits, upon the apprehenſion of Gods departure, but God though he ſeem to be long abſent, will not forſake thoſe that are not willing to leave him, Eſay. 4.14.15. but Zion ſaid, the Lord hath forſaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me; can a woman forget her ſucking-childe, that ſhe ſhould not have compaſſion on the ſon of her womb? yea they may forget, yet will not I forget thee. A father ſometimes hides himſelf behinde the wall, to try the affections of his little ſon, to ſee whether he will miſs him, what moan he will make in his abſence, or whether he minde his play, and be content without him, when yet he is ſo far from forſaking him, that every tear goes to his heart; ſo God in his withdrawings from his people, is much concerned in the moan they make, and his bowels yearn at their complaints: as he did at Ephraims, when he bemoaned himſelf, Jer. 31.18, 19, 20. I have ſurely heard Ephraim bemoaning himſelf, &c. Is Ephraim my dear ſon? is he a pleaſant child? for ſince I ſpake againſt him, I do earneſtly remember him ſtill, therefore my bowels are troubled for him; I will ſurely have mercy upon him, ſaith the Lord; who is among you, ſaith the prophet, that feareth the Lord, and walketh in darkneſs, and hath no light? let him truſt in the name of the Lord, and ſtay himſelf upon his God. Eſay. 5.10. Here we ſee a man may fear God, and yet be in darkneſs, ſometimes the Sun may he ecclipſed, ſometimes clouded, but it will break forth again; thoſe that have their eyes enlightned, ſhall ſee it, though the blinde diſcern not between day and night, light and darkneſs; the greateſt part of the world know not what it is to have the Sun of righteouſneſs to ariſe in their hemiſphere; But it is the greateſt grief to a believer that ever befell him in his life, to have the face of his beloved to be clouded from him, and his ſun to ſet at noon; then he goes with the ſpouſe, ſeeking him, ſorrowing, did ye ſee him whom my ſoul loveth? Cant. 3.3. when they ſeek him, and cannot finde him, when they call him, and he gives them no anſwer, Cant. 5.6. they ſeek from ordinance to ordinance, from Miniſter to Miniſter, and enquire after him, every room in the houſe may witneſs their moan, and their complaint, but when they finde, they rejoyce with the Martyr, Oh Auſtin, he is come, he is come; oh my ſoul, how ſtands the caſe with thee? art thou apprehenſive of the approaches, and departures of God from thy ſoul? doſt thou rejoyce in his preſence, as theſe poor flowers in the preſence of their beloved? doſt thou mourn at his abſence as they do, and hide thy head? doſt thou hunger and thirſt after him, as the thirſty man for drink, or the thirſty land for drops of rain? if thou make little matter of him, it is a ſigne thou haſt little benefit by him, or little love to him, or never kneweſt what it was to have communion with him, he is the chiefeſt of ten thouſand, therefore the virgins love him; get as ſtrong an apprehenſion of his love to thee, and thine to him, as poſſibly thou canſt; this will keep the ſoul from ſtragling; thou wilt never leave him whom thou loveſt, and he will never leave one that loves him: his withdrawings are but to try thy affections, and he oft loves dearly thoſe he ſeems to loathe, if thou forſake not him, he will never forſake thee; and an evidence of his love will bear up the heart above trouble; the Pſalmiſt when he was ſo troubled that he could not ſpeak, yet comforted himſelf in conſidering, the days of old, and the years of ancient times, and calling to his remembrance his ſongs in the night, Pſal. 77.4, 5, 6. when there is a calm and tranquillity in the ſoul, examine thy ſelf by Scripture-evidences, whether there be the truth of grace in thy ſoul or no, and if thou finde it, lay up theſe records againſt a ſtormy-day, when the ſun is clouded, and out of ſight then when thou, canſt not reade thy own heart, or ſee grace in thy ſoul, yet maiſt thou ſay, at ſuch a time, in ſuch a place, I examined my ſelf, by ſuch and ſuch marks, grounded upon ſuch and ſuch Scriptures, and plainly, and impartially judged my graces were true; now true grace cannot be loſt, and therefore I know there is fire, though under the aſhes, and true grace though buried under corruption; and he that then loved me, will love me to the end; yea, with an everlaſting love: oh my God, aſſiſt me in this work of examination, and not only give me grace, and write thine image upon me, but alſo enable me to reade it, that it may keep me alive, in the winter, when thou ſeemeſt to be at a diſtance from me.