Spiritual Refining, Religious treatise · Section 9 · Sermon 71
SERMON LXXI.
That ungodly Friends and Relations are great Hinderances of ones Converſion, with ſome helps or Directions to thoſe that are thereby kept in their Sinnes.
EZEK. 33. 11.
Turn ye, Turn ye: Why will ye dye, O houſe of Iſrael.
THe next Mountain to be made low, that ſo way may be made for our turning to God. is The Temptation of evill and wicked companions. Some have deſires and reſolutions to come to God, and leave their ſins; but then they have carnal friends, and prophane neighbours, they ſtop them in the way, or elſe they live in wicked families, in ungodly places, where no fear of God is: and theſe preſently like Herod, kill all the young Motions and Deſires that may be in any mans heart, leſt their Kingdome and glory goe down: ſo that we may ſay, Evill and ungodly companions are that deep ditch out of which few doe recover. But yet if thou applyeſt thy ſelf to the Throne of Grace, and importune for divine ſtrength, thou wilt finde it not onelyonly poſſible but eaſie to break theſe bonds, and come out of Egypt. Therefore to take thee off this excuſe, let us conſider this temptation of evill company and acquaintance.
Firſt, It cannot be denyed, that ungodly friends, eſpecially if in near relations, Ungodly friends great impediments in the way to heaven.as Father, Mother, husband, wife, &c. are wonderfull impediments in the way to heaven. Many had in all probability, been turned to God, if they had had better parents, better k…nred, lived in better families, where Piety and Religion might be more incouraged, and a good example given thereto. It was a great advantage to Timothy, That he had a Mother and a Grandmother, both godly, and ſo from a youth he was acquainted with the Scriptures, 1 Tim. 1. 5. And it is as heavy a judgement, where Children can ſee nothing but wickedneſſe and impiety in thoſe who are their Superiors, or to live among men that are prophane enemies to godlineſſe; Now the reaſons why ſuch men ſo yoked with unrighteouſneſſe do hardly throw it off, are,
Firſt, From the nature of a man, who is a ſociable Creature. Its a natural property to joyn in ſociety with thoſe amongſt whom he liveth, and by that means 1. Why men yoked with unrighteousneſſe, by wicked relations or acquaintance, do very rarely become godly.doth eaſily partake of their ſins. Therefore one great means of Converſion, is to ſet our ſelves apart from company, To commune with our own hearts and be ſtill, Pſal. 4. that upon this retirement we may come to a right and …ound judgement in all things, Prov. 18. 1. Through deſire a man having ſeperated himſelf interme…leth with all wiſdome. Man therefore being a ſociable creature, its the greateſt part of prudence and wiſdome that can be to make choiſe of his company, to ſee who they are that he acquaints with, for he will quickly be coloured, and receive the impreſſion that others put upon him. Aristotle ſaid, That he who lived alone, was … a God or a Devil, becauſe retiredneſſe would much improve a man, either in wickedneſſe or piety; but that holdeth not in every reſpect; for many times wickedneſſe is inceraſed and drawn out by companying with others.
Secondly, Becauſe evill acquaintance putteth ſo great a demur to Converſion, Therefore the Scripture is ſo diligent, in giving many exhortations to avoid all the Society 2.of wicked men. If any man be a Drunkard, an Adulterer, a riotous perſon, no not to eat with ſuch an one, 1 Cor. 5. 11. Not to eat, that is, to have no familiar, voluntary and unneceſſary acquaintance with him, that may incourage him and imbolden him in his ſin: ſo, If any walk diſorderly, from ſuch withdraw, that thereby the perſon offending may be aſhamed, 2 Theſ. 3. 11. And Solomon the mirror of all wiſdome, is very frequent in Precepts, concerning the Adulterous woman; The young man muſt not come near her dwelling, he muſt paſſe on the other ſide of the ſtreet, keep off from ſuch place as places of the plague, and dangerous infections. So where unjuſt violent men are brought in, Prov. 1. entiſing the young man to caſt in his lot with them, he is warned to have nothing to do with them, he muſt avoid them, as the bird doth the ſnare that is laid for her. Hereupon the Pſalmiſt begins his firſt Pſalm with the bleſſedneſſe of that man, who doth not ſit nor walk in the company of the ungodly, Pſ. 1. 1.
Thirdly, Therefore ill company is dangerous, becauſe ſin is of an infecting contagious nature; it quickly ſpreads through a family, through a pariſh, eſpecially if any eminent 3.in place and office give an example to wickedneſſe. The ground of that Church-cenſure, Excommunication, is the contagion of other mens ſins; Purge out the old leven, that was in the inceſtuous perſon, 1 Cor. 5. 7. And why? becauſe a little leven leveneth the whole lump: he that toucheth pitch, cannot but be defiled with it. He that lieth in the dung-hil cannot but ſmel of it: ſo then thy delight with ungodly, and prophane men, cannot but in time make thee as black as they. Why ſhould not men be as much afraid of being infected with ſin, as with a contagious diſeaſe? but onelyonly we are carnal, fearing the evil of the body, which is death, but not the evil of the ſoul, which is ſin and damnation. Oh then ſay, Why am I ſuch an enemy to my ſoul? How can I ever turn to God as long as I live here, delight in ſuch men? How can I ever go into Canaan, if I leave not this Egypt?
Fourthly, He that is joyned in ungodly acquaintance, doth hardly turn to God, becauſe 4.there is not onelyonly evil got by them, but this is alſo a ſure demonſtration of that mans naughty and evil heart. For it is the old rule, ſimile, ſimili, gaudet; ſimilitude is a cauſe of love; and therefore if ye ſee a man delight in the ſociety of that man, who is prophane and wretched, that man is ſo too in his heart and diſpoſition; for though many men will not outwardly be drunk or ſwear, yet if they love thoſe that do ſo, it is plain their diſpoſitions are againſt godlineſſe as well as others: ſo that as David having a godly heart, did evidently demonſtrate this by that expreſſion, His delight was in the Saints of the earth, Pſal. 16. 3. So it is a ſure demonſtration of a wicked man, though he may not do outward wickedneſs, yet if he keep company with thoſe that do it. The Apoſtle makes it a ſign we have paſſed from death to life, If we love the brethren, 1 Joh. 3. 14. and if we love thoſe that live in the exerciſe of all evil, it is a ſign we are ſtill in the ſtate of death: ſeparate therefore thy ſelf from that evil ſociety, if thou wilt turn at any time to God.
Fifthly, Therefore do evil companions ſo greatly hinder converſion, becauſe they are 5.daily hardening and encouraging one another in an evil way. Thus they emboldened one another that ſaid, Let us eat and drink, for to morrow we ſhall dye: and the Apoſtle alleadging this, ſaith, Evil communications corrupt good manners, 1 Cor. 15. 33. For as the godly are recorded in Scripture as ſo many live …oals put together, enflaming one another with fire from heaven, thus thoſe that feared God spake often one to another, ſath Mal. 3. 15. and in Eſai, 23. they are calling upon one another, Come, let us go up to the houſe of the Lord, we will go alſo: So the contrary is with wicked men, they put preſumption and deſperate boldneſs into one another; they hearten one another. Where any hopeful ſeeds of good motions are riſing up, they preſently pull them up: What, you grow preciſe? What, you turn melancholy? What matter is it what Miniſters preach? They muſt have ſomething to ſay; thus they are able to blaſt all, and one wicked companion is able to do more hurt, then many ſermons good.
Laſtly, Therefore are thoſe, who are joyned in evil fellowſhip, hardly converted to God, becauſe men are moved by examples, especially of a multitude. Where corcuption is univerſal, there not to be carried down the ſtream, argueth life of grace: Examples affect more then precepts, becauſe they are viſible and obvious to the eye, Thus Peter is ſaid to comple ſome men to Judaize, by his example meerly, Gal. 2. 31. eſpecially examples are more potent and violent, when they are general: Therefore you have a ſpeciall command in this caſe, Thou ſhalt not follow a multitude to do evil, Exod. 23. 1. In corrupt ages, where ſin like a deluge doth overflow, then to have ſome men apply themſelves to God, is a great wonder. Thus it is ſpoken as a great matter after that all fleſh had corrupted his waies, Then began men to call upon the Lord, Gen. 4. 26. as ſome expound it; Then ſome men began to ſet up the pure worſhip of God. Well, though this be ſuch a mountain in the way, yet ſeveral conſiderations may make thee eaſily climbe over it.
Firſt, You have the example of ſome who have lived in prophane places, have been 1. Directions and means how to get through, or caſt off the impediment of wicked companions and relations.compaſſed about with all wickedneſſe, yet theſe even out of hell have cryed unto God and drawn near unto him. Thus Hezekiah was born of a wicked Father, King Ahaz, and all the family was likely very much corrupted, becauſe he did after all the abominations of the heathens. Yet how wonderfully doth God bring a clean thing from an unclean! Thus in Nero's Court, who was the monſter of men, and no doubt but his family a monſter of families, eſpecially for cruelty and bloody perſecution of the Church of God, yet the Scripture tells us, there were a company of Godly men, even in Nero's Court, Phil. 4. 22. Thus alſo Nicodemus a Phariſee, and a great man in the Phariſees counſels, yet he feareth God, and is not drawn aſide by their examples. Do not thou therefore put it off, and ſay, if I lived ſomewhere elſe, if I had any to joyn with me, to take my part, I would then turn to God, but now I muſt do as thoſe with whom I live, elſe there is no abiding for me: ſpeak not thus, for the Scripture recordeth thoſe that have broken through greater difficulties then thou art in, neither if thy heart were right, could this ſtop thee.
Secondly, Lay this down for a rule, that it is not ſo much a friend, a father, a 2.neighbour, as the divel in and by theſe that doth thus tempt thee to keep from God: For ſuch is his ſubtilty to deſtroy thee, that he layeth all baits, and uſeth the moſt likely inſtruments that may undo thee, as we ſee he did thus from the beginning: He doth not imediately ſet upon Adam, but upon Eve, and by her ſeduceth him. Oh, If Adam had perceived the Divel tempting him by her, How reſolutely would he have gainſaied her? Rev. 10. It is ſaid, The Divel ſhould throw ſome of the Saints into priſon, How ſo? The Divel would ſtir up the malice and venom of wicked men againſt them; eſpecially this Truth is manifeſted by our Saviour when Peter took him aſide, and diſſwaded him from the ſuffering which he was to undergo; ſee what entertainment our Saviour giveth him, Get thee behinde me Satan, for thou ſavoreſt not the things of God, Mat. 16. 23. Oh thus ſhould thy zeal and anger work: It is not thy friend, thy father, thy husband, thy neighbour, but the Divel in all theſe, that ſeeks to deſtroy thy ſoul.
Thirdly, Remember this, that Chriſt makes it a fundamental qualification in every one that would be his Diſciple, to hate father, and mother; and brother, and ſiſter, 3.for his ſake, Luke 14. 26. Be not then ſtartled at this: Oh my parents, my kindred, my friends would never endure me, ſhould I turn to God, and live a holy ſtrict life. Think of this Text; he that hates not the deareſt relations for Chriſts ſake, is not worthy of Chriſt. Therefore our Saviour calls for a man to cut off his right hand, to pull out his right eye, Mat 5. 30. the deareſt things in the world, that may be an offence to him, and keep him from God; for as Chriſt ſaith, It is better to go with one eye, and one hand to heaven, then both eye and hands to hell. It is better to go with the frowns and anger of thy deareſt friends to heaven, then with all their love to hell. Never then urge this any more, I dare not for my friends, for my acquaintance; for thou canſt never be Chriſts Diſciple, if any thing be dearer to thee then Chriſt. We ſee Chriſt himſelf, though a pattern of all holineſſe, yet when his mother would have had him done ſomething when it was not Gods time, Woman, ſaith he, What have I to do with thee? Joh. 2. not mother, but woman, and what have I to do with thee?
Fourthly, Whenſoever the Lord begins to ſhake and trouble thy heart for ſin, and thou art thinking of another life, to take another courſe; then it is thy ſpeci… 4.duty not to ask counſel and advice with carnal & unregenerate friends: alas they think thou art mad; now thou wilt be undone; they know not what ſuch troubles for ſin mean: Why then ſhouldſt thou diſcover thy diſeaſe to ſuch who are no Phyſitians? Take rather Pauls example, when God wrought wonderfully from heaven to convert him, He obeyeth God imediately, and never conſulted with fleſh and blood, Gal. 2. Thus do thou: Doth God by the Miniſtry, by Preaching, convince thee of thy ſinful waies, of becoming a new man, give up thy ſelf to this call imediately? Do not conſult with fleſh and blood? But as Eliah when he threw his cloke upon Eliſha, and the ſpirit of God moved his heart, he preſently followeth Eliah, will not go home to take leave of his friends, but imediately followeth him: ſo let it be with thee. And we ſee when ſome proffered voluntarily to follow Chriſt, onelyonly they deſired to bid farewell to their friends, and one asked leave but to go and bury his dead Father, that our Saviour rejected them, Mat. 21. 22, and would admit of none of theſe excuſes: ſo that theſe inſtances ſhould teach thee, when God by his Miniſters calls thee from thy ſins, never to ask counſel at home, never to enquire what my kindred and acquaintance will ſay, but preſently follow God.
Fifthly, Doth the ſtrife and variance thou ſhalt have with thy Naturall friends and acquaintance move thee? Oh, Conſider that Chriſt hath foretold this a long 5.while ago, and therefore be thou the more encouraged to endure ſuch aſſaults. Mat. 10. 31, 32. 30. 35. Our Saviour there inſtructing his Diſciples how they ought to confeſſe him before all men, leaſt they ſhould be amazed to ſee the jars and contentions that will be becauſe of godlineſſe: He tels them, I am come to ſet a man at variance againſt his Father, and the Daughter againſt the Mother; and a mans foes ſhall be they of his own houſhold: mark this Text, for it may ſeem very offenſive and harſh. Shall Chriſts Doctrine be a make-bate? ſhall that ſet families all on a fire, and a contention? This ſeemeth to be little credit to his Doctrine. But it will be thus, not from the Nature of Chriſts Doctrine, for that is a Doctrine of peace with God, and peace with men: but whereſoever his Truth is received in the practical power of it, ſuch is the violent oppoſition even of the deareſt friends againſt it that are not godly, that it raiſeth up all their hatred and violence againſt it. Hence we read in Eccleſiaſtical hiſtory, that ſometimes even children have been perſecutors of their Fathers: Let not then thy ſpirit ſink under this, That by thy turning to God, and condemning the wicked waies that the family liveth in where thou art, thou ſhalt make much contention, ſtir up an hornets neſt; for this is no more then Chriſt hath foretold. Conſidering the venemous, and malicious diſpoſions men have naturally againſt God and his truth, it cannot be otherwiſe; onelyonly let this teach thee wiſedome, and courage to prepare for a ſtorm.
Sixthly, How many times do evil and wicked men, though never ſo great one with 6.another, fall out in deadly enmity about worldly ſinfull matters! For although theſe Swine and Bears do many times agree well among themſelves, eſpecially againſt godlineſs, which they look at as the common enemy, yet there is no true love among wicked men; they hang together as ropes of ſand, any matter of profit, luſt, or pride, will preſently make them rage at one another. Now what ſhouldſt thou care for the love and friendſhip of ſuch men, who can love no body but for ſelf-reſpects? The Heathens have excellently debated this, that there is no friendſhip among wicked men, but onelyonly good men; for when profit or pleaſure is the knot that tyeth them, that is eaſily broken; when wicked men agree, it is not peace, but conſpiracy. Never then let that diſhearten thee: Oh if I ſet my face for godlineſſe, be once accounted in the number of thoſe that walk ſtrictly, all my neighbours will reproach me, every ones mouth will be open. Art thou ſo weak a Creature to regard this? their love is not worth the owning; no wicked man can love another, but for carnal ends; and therefore they are very hypocrites, and ſecret back-biters of one another where it makes for their advantage: ſo that in this thou ſheweſt thy ſelf unworthy of Chriſt: there are many men that its a glory to be ſpoken againſt by them, and it would be a mans diſhonour to have their good word, yea, a man ſhould preſently ſay as the heathen, nunquia mali feci? what evil have I done that ſuch a man commends me?
Seventhly, Conſider this thou who art hindred by natural friends and carnal 7.acquaintance, that if thou forſakeſt theſe to cleave to God, Thou wilt never repent of thy loſſe. For Chriſt will be in ſtead of a Father, Husband, or the moſt neceſſary friend that can be. Thou wilt finde thou haſt made an happy exchange; for what friend could quiet thy conſcience, forgive thy ſin, ſupport thy ſpirit, fill thee with ſpiritual joy? Now Chriſt will do all theſe: imbrace that promiſe, for it is worthy of all acceptation, Mat. 19. 29. Every one that forſaketh Houſes, Siſters, Father, or Mother for my ſake, &c. ſhal receive an hundred fold in this life, and ſhall inherit everlaſting life. Here will be a two-fold ſatisfact…ion, thou wilt have in this life an hundred fold comfort for that one comfort thou haſt forſaken, though indeed Mark addeth, it will be with perſecution. Oh then never think thou ſhalt be undone, thou ſhalt loſe all the favour and love of thy friends, for thou doſt but part with a drop to have an ocean; and conſider that comfortable place alſo, Mat 12. 50. For whoſoever ſhall do the will of my father which is in heaven, the ſame is my brother, and ſiſter, and mother: ſuppoſe thy friends will never own thee more, never take thee for brother, or ſiſter more, yet ſee Chriſt will be theſe, thou wilt be in a more comfortable relation.
Eightly, Conſider that all thy merry company will be ſo far from eaſing thy torment, 8.that they will encreaſe it the more when thou comeſt indeed to be forſaken by God. When thou lyeſt a dying, ready to give a dreadful account to the great God, What will thy companions ſay? They will come and ſtand by the bed ſide, and take thee by the hand, remember we have been thus merry together, we have plaid theſe pranks; Oh miſerable and wretched comforts! thou wilt cry out, What doth all this avail duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page me now I am a dying, and know not what wil become of me? Oh I have no eaſe, no quietneſſe, What ſhall I do? Oh I cannot abide to ſee you, I cannot endure to look on you, you bring all my wickedneſſe to my mind. Thus it will be with thee, if God do but in the leaſt manner awaken thy ſecure conſcience.
Let the Uſe be, firſt of Admonition to you that are Parents, Maſters, Friends, or Neighbours, take heed of checking and quenching any little ſpark of a good motion that God may work in your children and ſervants: It is an heavy ſin to murther their bodies, but far greater to murther their ſouls, and yet thou doſt this, when thou canſt not abide to ſee in thy wife, child, or ſervant, any deſire to become a new creature. Thou callſt it Melancholy, madneſs, folly, and thou deſpiſeſt it in thy heart. Oh know this is to act the Divels work in an high degree: As Herod ſought to kill Chriſt as ſoon as he was born, ſo thou endeavoureſt ſpiritually to kill Chriſt in the heart of him who is almoſt converted. There is too much of this diveliſh wickedneſſe in the world; men that had rather ſee their friends and neighbours, any thing in the world, then profeſſe godlineſſe.
Uſe 2. Of comfort to thoſe who will cleave to God, and follow Chriſt, though they have all the hatred of their friends, though parents, husbands, make them have a wearie and ſad life, yet they love Chriſt more then all: Oh bleſſed art thou above others, thou art a kinde of a Martyr; all the hardſhip and grief thou goeſt through for godlineſſe, it is a Martyrdom: The Scripture giveth thee many encouragements in this way.
Uſe 3. Of Exhortation to all thoſe who are intangled by evil companie, by ungodly ſocietie. Oh come out of that Egypt, come from that Babylon; never expect to be Chriſts Diſciple till thou leave that accurſed followſhip. What is it to be affected at a ſermon, to be almoſt perſwaded on the Sabbath day, and then preſently after to fall into the companie of thoſe that hate and abhor pietie. Oh hadſt not thou better ſay to them, depart from me, I will know you no more, then have Chriſt ſay to thee, Depart into everlaſting fire, I know you not: And know godlineſſe will help thee to excellent companie, to excellent mirth: A good Conſcience is a continual feaſt: Thou wilt enjoy God, Chriſt will dwell with thee. The innumerable companie of Angels, and the ſpirits of juſt men made perfect, will be of the ſame fellowſhip with thee; Oh what an happie exchange wilt thou quickly finde.