Come and Welcome to Jesus Christ, Objection 3
Objection. 3.
But I cannot believe that I come to Christ aright, because, sometimes, I am apt to question his very Being, and Office to save.
Thus to do is horrible: but may'st thou not Judge amiss in this matters?
How can I Judge amiss, when I Judge as I feel? Poor Soul! thou maist Judge amiss for all that. Why, I think that these questionings come from my Heart.
Answ. Let me answer. That which comes from thy heart, comes from thy will and affections, from thy understanding, Judgement and Conscience. For these must acquiess in thy questioning, if thy questioning be with thy heart. And how say'st thou, (for to name no more) dost thou with thy Affection and Conscience thus question?
Answ. No, my Conscience trembles when such thoughts come in to my mind, and my affections are otherwise inclined.
Then I conclude, that these things are either suddenly injected by the devil, or else are the fruits of that body of sin and death that yet dwels in thee, or perhaps from both together.
If they come wholly from the devil, as they seem, because thy Conscience and affections are against them; or if they come from that body of death, that is in thee (and be not thou curious in enquiring from whether of them they come, the safest way is to lay enough at thy own door) nothing of this should hinder thy coming, nor make thee conclude thou comest not aright.
And before I leave thee, let me a little query with thee farther about this matter.
First, Doest thou like these wicked blasphemies?
Answ. No, no: their presence and working kills me.
Secondly, Doest thou mourn for them, pray against them, and hate thy self because of them?
Answ. Yes, yes: but that which afflicts me, is, I do not prevail against them.
Thirdly, Dost thou sincerely chuse, (mightest thou have thy choice) that thy heart might be affected and taken with the things that are best, most heavenly, and holy?
Answ. With all my heart, and death the next hour, (if it were Gods will) rather than thus to sin against him.
Well then, thy not liking of them, thy mourning for them, thy praying against them, and thy loathing of thy self because of them, with thy sincere chusing of those thoughts for thy delectation that are heavenly, and holy: clearly declares that these things are not countenanced either with thy Will, Affections, Understanding, Judgement or Conscience; and so, that thy heart is not in them, but that rather they come immediatly from the devil▪ or arise from the body of death that is in thy flesh: of which thou oughtest thus to Say, Now then, it is no more I that doth it, but sin that dwells in me. Rom 7. 16, 17.
I will give thee a pertinent instance. In Deut. 22. Thou mayest read of a betrothed damsel, one betrothed to her beloved; one that hath given him her heart and mouth, as thou hast given thy self to Christ; yet she was met with as she walked in the field, by one that forced her, because he was stronger than she. Well, what judgment now doth God the righteous judge pass upon the damsel for this? The man only, that lay with her, saith God, shall die; but unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death. For as when a man riseth against his Neighbor, and slayeth him, even so is this matter: he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cryed, and there was none to save her. Deut. 22. 25, 26, 27.
Thou art this damsel, the man that forceth thee with these blasphemous thoughts, is the devil; and he lighteth upon thee in a fit place, even in the field, as thou art wandering after Jesus Christ; but thou cryest out, and by thy cry, did'st shew that thou abhorrest such wicked leudness. Well, the Judge of all the earth will do right, he will not lay the Sin at thy door, but at his that offered the violence: and for thy comfort, take this into consideration also, That he came to heal them that are oppressed with the devil, Acts 10. 38.