Twenty-Five Sermons, Sermon 8
A SERMON ON
PSAL. xix. 12, 13.
Who can understand his errours? &c.
THIS Psalm is a pious and devout Meditation of the Prophet David. Now Naturalists observe, that there be two acts of the soul of hardest performance;
1. The act of Reflexion, to make the soul look inwards, and to recoyl upon it self. Motus reflexus, it is duplex motus, a double motion.
2. The act of Meditation, to make the soul ascend, and look upwards, to keep it still upon the wing. And therefore, the Psalmist to maintain and strengthen his meditation, uses an inspection into a threefold Book.
1. Is Inspectio libri Creaturae, into the book of the creatures, Vers. 1. The heavens declare the glory of God, &c. He looks upon that great Volume of Heaven and Earth, and there reads in Capital Letters, the Prints, and Characters of Gods glory. Aliter pictura, aliter scriptura placet; he gazes not as children upon gaudes in books, but reades, and meditates, and deeply considers them.
2. His Meditation ascends higher by a second Inspection, and that is Inspectio libri Scripturae, verse 7. The Law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul, &c. And this Book is more precious then the former. The other, the Book of the Creature, is but as the Inventory of the Goods; this of the Scripture is the Evidence, and Conveyance, and Assurance of all to us. In it he sees the riches of Gods wisdom, and his precious promises. As S. Ambrose observes of Abraham's journals; he came out of the land of Chaldea, into the land of Promise. God bids him look up to the stars; (and the Chaldeans were great beholders of the stars and firmament) but yet Abraham asks, In quo cognoscam? How shall I know that I shall inherit it? He could not gather that, by beholding the Creatures; the Word of Promise, and the Book of the Scripture, must give Assurance of that.
3. He proceeds further, and feeds his Meditation by a third Inspection, and that is, Inspectio in librum Conscientiae; he unclasps that, which is the compendium, and sum, and transcript of the other Book, the Book of the Scripture, and there dwells upon a serious, and sad Meditation, Who can understand his errours?
1. He looks up to Heaven, and wonders as it, Who can comprehend the number of the stars? Quis intelligit potentiam? Who can understand his power?
2. He looks into the Scriptures, and finds this a more large Book. The former is but a shrivelled Scrole to this sacred Volume, as Christ compares it: Who can understand those sacred Truths, and profound Mysteries? Who can conceive the Perfection of the Law?
3. He looks into his own heart, makes a search into his Conscience, brings that Book out of the Rubbish, as they did the Book of the Law in Iosiah's time; who can count, and number up the blemishes of his soul? who can understand the errours of his life?
1. The first Book, Convincit, it hath a power of Conviction; Meditate on it, and observe Gods Power, or thou art an Atheist.
2. The second Book, Convertit, it hath a power of Conversion; Meditate upon it, and learn his will, and worship out of it, or thou art an Infidel.
3. The third Book, Accusat, it hath the power of Accusation; Look, and meditate upon it, and there discover, and bewail thy sins, or thou art an Hypocrite.
The Text then contains David's Meditation upon that third Inspection into the Book of his Conscience. Wherein we may observe four Particulars:
1. An holy Perplexity in the soul of David, which makes him cry out, Who can understand his errours?
2. An holy Redress he seeks in this perplexity, O cleanse me from my secret faults.
3. An holy Prevention for the time to come, Keep thy servant from presumptuous sins, let them not have dominion over me.
4. An holy, both Resolution, and Consolation,; Then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great Transgression.
1. In the first Part, we see the nature of Sin; it casts a man into Perplexity, it breeds gripings, and anguishes in the soul, and conscience.
2. In the second, we see the nature of Mercy; that pardons, and purges, and pacifies the conscience; that rebukes the storms, and brings in a sudden calm into our souls again.
3. In the third, we see the nature of Grace; that prevents, keeps us from presumptuous relapses; that preserves us so, that no wickedness shall have dominion over us.
4. In the fourth Part, we see the nature of Integrity; that gives comfort, and consolation, that strengthens it self in all good purposes and resolutions.
And these Particulars represent unto us the whole life of a Christian; they set in order the motions of the soul in the beginnings and progress of his conversion.
1. What is the first Motion, and quickning of life in a Christian? Examen Conscientiae, a searching out of his sins; not a confident stepping into Heaven, in a present assurance, but a sorrowful penitential perplexity.
2. The second Motion in the heart of a Christian, is Supplication, and Suit for pardon and peace, Cleanse me, purge me.
3. The third Motion is imploring of help, Prayer for grace and assistance against Relapses, establish me with thy spirit, Keep back thy servant from presumptuous sins.
4. The fourth Motion is Studium integritatis, and Gaudium in studio, resolutions and endeavours for integrity, and all possible innocency, and the keeping of a good conscience towards God and man.
Now put these together, and then we may discover three Combinations;
1. A Combination of two sorts of Sins, not all of the same size and magnitude; here are Errores and Contumaciae, sins of Infirmity, and sins of Presumption; sins of a weaker tincture, and sins of a double die; Lapsus in via, and Excursiones extra viam; Slips and lapses in the way, and voluntary departings, and forsakings of the way.
2. A Combination of two sorts of Graces; here is Gratia purgans, and Gratia custodiens.
1. Pardoning and purging grace.
2. Preserving, and protecting grace. That, is the grace of subvention, when we have sinned; this, the grace of prevention, that we may not sin.
3. A Combination of two states and conditions of a Christian.
1. Purgandus à secretis; for sins of Infirmity, who can avoid them?
2. Custodiendus à contumacibus; for sins of Presumption, we must not come near them. We cannot be free A Culpa, from sins of daily Incursion; but we may, and must be free A Crimine, from sins that waste the Conscience, and havock Piety.
The first thing considerable is David's holy Perplexity; Who can understand his errours? And of it, take a double Consideration:
1. Quae occasio? What's the occasion of this Perplexity?
2. Quae conditio? What's the nature of it?
First, What's the occasion of this sudden Perplexity in the spirit of David? He was taken up even now into an heavenly contemplation of the works and word of God; and the consideration of both these, was always delightful unto him.
1. For his works, Psal. xcii. 4. Thou, Lord, hast made me glad through thy works, and I will triumph in the works of thy hands.
2. For his word; The meditation of it was delightful to him, sweeter then the honey, and the honey-comb, more pleasant then his appointed food; it was his song in the house of his Pilgrimage. How then comes all this over-casting in David's soul, like a sudden thunder-clap from a clear sky? I answer, The causes of many perplexities, and astonishments in the soul of man, are not always discernable. The spirit of fear, as Christ speaks, comes not with observation;
1. Non cum observatione peccati. Not onelyonly some great notorious sin, but even some smaller offence, that thou little thinkest of, may fret and rankle in thy conscience, and breed perplexity. The pricking of a pin may rankle, and fester, and prove as dangerous, as the wound of a weapon. Thus David's heart smote him, for an irreverent touch of Saul, as well as for the cruel murder of Uriah. Slight not the commission of smaller sins; thou mayst hear of them when thou little thinkest of them.
2. Non cum observatione personae. Indeed for notorious debauch'd wretches, for them to be put upon the rack of a perplex'd soul, 'tis no great marvel; but even moderate and restrained men, yea even mortified Saints are subject to these pangs; not onelyonly Saul, but David; not onelyonly Iudas, but Peter have suffered, and felt the anguishes of a guilty conscience.
3. Non cum observatione temporis. Indeed, a sin lately committed, while the memory is fresh, and the guilt of it haunts a man, and stares in his face, then 'tis no wonder if he be perplexed. Nay, not onelyonly so, but some sin past and forgot, that thou hast buried in oblivion, a sin of many years past, even that may turn in upon thee, and perplex and affright thee; The Clouds may return after the rain. Thus Iob complains, Thou writest bitter things against me, and makest me to possess the iniquities of my youth, Iob xiii. 26. Thus the Patriarchs, many years after the fact, were troubled and perplexed with the sin of selling Ioseph; Gen. xlii. 21. We are guilty concerning our brother, say they: Thirteen years, at least, had gone over their heads, since that deed was done; they had skinn'd up the fore, and yet, see, it breaks out in their soul again, and it bleeds afresh. These troubles of soul then, come not always with observation.
But yet, what might be the occasion of this perplexity in the Prophet David? David was now looking into the law of God, considering the great light and glory of it, and a beam of that light hath darted into his conscience, a spark of that fire hath fallen into that fuel, and that …ets all on fire; casts him into a sudden amazement, and makes him cry out, Who can understand his errours?
Observe from hence, that the word of God hath a secret, unavoydable power upon the soul, to convince it of sin, and to cast it into horrour. Good Iosiah, at the first reading of this Word, had his heart melted with fear and astonishment. Thus S. Paul, Rom. iii. 20. By the Law, is the knowledg of sin. And, Rom. vii. 11. The Commandment slew him, and was found to be death unto him, vers. 10. And there be divers reasons of this Truth:
1. In the Scripture is presented a transcendent rule of holiness; the infinite purity and sanctity which is in God himself. He is holy in his Works, but most holy in his Word. He hath magnified his Word above all his Name, Psal. cxxxviii. 2. In it shines the purity of his Nature, not capable of blemish, or imperfection. Now then, the soul seeing this transcendent holiness in God, is presently convinced of infinite impurity. Mine eye seeth thee, wherefore I abhor my self, and repont in dust and ashes, saith Iob, chap. xlii. 5, 6. Probavit aurum, & reprobavit, saith S. Bernard; The Angels, though as fine as gold, are impure in his sight. Qui discernit inter Stellas, quanto magis inter glebas? If the Starrs are not pure in his sight, how much less (Job xxv. 5.) man, who is but a clod of earth? And this makes the holiest men to tremble at his presence. Cujus participatione sumus justi, ejus comparatione sumus injústi, saith S. Augustine: They, who by derivation from him are made holy; in comparison of him, are most unholy. Nay, the holy Angels themselves, in their approaches to him, do hide their feet and their faces. If Sancti Angeli in Propitiatorio, quanto magis peccatores prae Tribunali? If Angels on the Mercy-Seat tremble, what shall sinners do, that stand at the Bar, before the seat of Justice?
2. As in the Scripture there is a transcendent rule presented, so is there also an exact rule of holiness prescribed. The Law forbids all sin, enjoyns all holiness. No passage in the life of man, but is ordered in it. As Theodoret observes in the Ceremonial Law, and in the furniture of the Tabernacle, that every particular was curiously prescribed: Sitales imagines, quales veritates? saith he. If the Ceremonial Law was so accurate, and precise, how strict is the Law of moral holiness, of which that was but a type? The Measures, and Weights of the Sanctuary, were double as much as the ordinary Measures. Thine actions may carry weight, and be allowable amongst men in common conversation, which yet will be found light in the Sanctuary of God. Mensurant se in dolosa statera consuetudinis humanae, non in statera Sanctuarii, saith S. Augustine. Bring thine Actions to this standard, and thy defects will be discover'd; and then that which seems warrantable, and commendable amongst men, will appear sinful, and abominable before God.
3. The Law of God, it is a spiritual rule, not resting only in an outward conformity, but requires the exactness of soul and spirit. It keeps secret thoughts under awe; and judgeth of outward actions, according to the heart; not of the heart according to outward actions. I the Lord search the heart, even to give to every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings, Ier. xvii. 10. Thus S. Chrysostom, discoursing of the exactness of Gods Law in the true intent of it, saith, The Pharises forbade the outward commission of uncleanness; the Law of God forbids the uncleanness of the thought. They make the Law like Iohn Baptist, he had Zonam pelliceam circa lumbos, a leathern girdle about his loyns; whereas Christ had Zonam auream circa pectus, Rev. i. 13. a golden girdle about his breast; repressing the first rise, and stirrings, and motions of sin. This makes the Saints mourn for the first conceptions of sin, though they prove abortive. Libera me à cogitationibus meis, saith the devout Father; Free me, and purge me from my sinful cogitations.
4. The Law of God is operative, not a dead letter, but hath an active power to work upon the heart. Verbum Dei, non est opus, sed operans, saith S. Ambrose. The Spirit of God goes along with it, and makes it quick, and powerful, and sharp, and mighty in operation, Heb. iii. As in the frame of a mans body, under every vein there runs an artery full of spirits; so, under every vein of Truth in the Scripture, there is an artery of Spirit, quickning, searching, discovering, citing, condemning.
This discovers the ground of that aversness that is in most men from this blessed Word. Why can any other discourses find entertainment rather then this? Why? It breeds trouble and perplexity; It discovers my sin; It affrights my conscience; makes me out of love with my self, and appear ugly. These Spectacles are too true for my false eyes. Ahab cannot endure to talk with Micaiah, nor meet with Elijah, they never speak good unto him. The generalities of Scripture we can like well enough; but when it comes near, and begins to close with us, we fling away from it. Amant veritatem lucentem, oderunt redarguentem, saith S. Ambrose. And that's the first Consideration, Quae occasio?
Secondly, A second Consideration of this perplexity in David, is, Quae conditio? What is the nature, and purpose of it? And we see it express'd in a vehement, and passionate question; Quis intelligit? Who understands his errours? And it may be resolved into these three Expressions:
1. It is Vox ignorantis; It is the speech of a man, who confesses his ignorance; he knows not his errours.
2. It is Vox admirantis; It is the speech of him, who sees many errours in himself, and suspects more, and is astonished at the Consideration of them.
3. It is Vox gementis; He utters his thoughts with a sighing Acc…unt, and groans within himself at the sense of them.
First, It is Vox ignorantis; He knows not his errours; and then it implyes this Observation; That the perfect discovery of the errours of our lives, is a thing most hard, and even impossible. The truth of this Observation will appear in these Particulars:
1. In the Strength of Davids Affection.
2. In the Matter of it.
3. In the Grounds.
4. In the Consequences.
5. In the Uses to be made of it.
I. The Strength of it. David propounds it not by way of bare assertion onelyonly, No man can know them; but by way of question, and that is a form of greater Emphasis, and Impression: And then, he propounds this question, not onelyonly to himself, or in his own name, but puts the question to any, let him be what he will, yet he must fall short, he cannot know them; Who can?
1. Quis in lege intelligentissimus? Let him be never so cunning, and skilfull in the Law of God, the greatest Rabbi that ever was, a second Ezra, an exact Scribe in the Law of his God; though, with Ezekiel, and S. Iohn, he hath swallowed the Book, yet he may run into the commission of some errours, that he is not aware of. Even the High-Priest himself was to offer for his own ignorances, and infirmities, Heb. v. …ta nihil est in hominibus tutum, ne Pontifex quidem, saith Origen.
2. Quis in conversatione cautissimus? Who, though never so accurate, and watchfull in his conversation, can know all his errours? Let him keep never so strict a watch over his own heart, yet so…e sin will escape him. In many things we offend all, saith S. Iames, Chap. iii. 2. He saith not, In many things some of us offend, or in a few things all of us offend, but in many things we offend all. They who are all clean, had need wash their feet, saith our Saviour. To which S. Bernard alluding, gives this warning; that though we choose our way, and pick our path, and so avoid mire and dirt, yet, In bono itinere, pulverem colliges; in the fairest, and cleanest way, our feet will gather soil, some errours will be committed.
3. Quis in examine conscientiae diligentissimus? Who, though never so frequent and diligent in examining and revising his conscience; who ever so communed with his heart, and so search'd out his spirit, that no sin lay undiscovered? They who have daily practised this work of Repentance, and have kept a privie watch, and search in their hearts, are yet fain to return an Ignoramus; and though not conscious to themselves of any sin unrepented of, yet, to make all sure, will beg pardon of God for unknown transgressions. As men, not guilty of any breach of Law, to their own knowledge, will obtain a general pardon of the King, to prevent the worst. That's the first, the strength of this Assertion; Who doth understand? &c.
II. The matter of this Question; Who understands his errors? Take it in three Particulars;
1. Quis intelligit naturam errorum? Who understands the nature of all his actions, whether they be erroneous, yea, or no? whether that which he doth, be warrantable and good, or otherwise? Indeed, for the main Capital duties, those Principia practica, and heads of morality, and those likewise that are of the nearest, and most evident proximity unto them, he is hardly a Christian who knows not them; but for many particular Cases, and Questions of conscience incident to the life of man, who can resolve them? Some actions, indeed, are notoriously evil, sins of the first magnitude, the light of nature reproves them; Some of weaker evidence, sins of infirmity; some not discerned, nor known, sins of ignorance and incogitancie; See them represented in three Parables, Luke xv. The lost Son, The lost Sheep, The lost Groat. Art thou not as the lost Son? Dost thou not break away from God by wilfull rebellion? Yet thou mayst be as the lost Sheep, and stray away from thy God by a sin of infirmity. If not so, yet Who hath not been as the lost Groat, and his action hath slipt away out of his hand, betwixt his fingers, as it were, by ignorance, and incogitancie?
2. Quis intelligit numerum errorum? Who ever yet kept such a carefull account in his conscience, as to register, and book down the just number of his sins? David, who had not sinn'd so frequently as we have done; yet, when he surveys the number of his sins, he gives up this account; They are more in number then the hairs of my head; mine heart hath failed me, to see the swarms and numbers of them. Upon which place, Saint Augustine devoutly meditates; Capilli minuti sunt, sed multi, saith he. David had little sins, like as hairs; but yet multiplying, and increasing as the hairs of his head. Thus S. Bernard counsels us, In our addresses to God, to consider, whether we can meet with him, with ten thousand sins repented of, who comes against us with twenty thousand sins that we never thought of.
3. Quis intelligit aggravationes errorum? Who understands the many aggravations that may make a seemingly-small sin out of measure sinfull? Nay, an action good of it self, yet may have some malignant circumstances, that may blemish, and corrupt it. Thus Iob respecting the substance of his actions, and his good intentions, confidently saith, O that I were weighed in a ballance; but if he takes in the many mis-carrying circumstances, then, if he will be weighed, he must follow S. Bernard's counsel, Statera sit crux Christi, the beam and standard must be Christ's Cross, and the worth of his merits must help down the weight, or it will be too light.
As in the miracle of the Loaves, Matth. xiv. the loves were but five in bulk; Ey, but what saith our Saviour? Colligite fragmenta, Gather up the fragments; and then there were twelve baskets full. So, though thy sins at first appear but few, and small, yet gather up the fragments, the many circumstances, and aggravations of them; Thou didst such a sin in such a place, at such a time, being of such a calling, after former pardon obtained, and vows made, and grace received; these aggravatiòns will make a small sin, exceeding sinfull. That's the second branch, the Matter.
III. Quod fundamentum? What is the ground? Whence arises this difficulty of discerning errours? We shall find it chiefly from these three.
1. Sublimitas Legis; the divine excellency of the Law of God; a most comprehensive Law, requiring exact holiness, and forbidding the least swarvings, and aberrations there-from. To which purpose, besides the substance and body of an action which the Law requires, there are two dimensions in the Law of God, by which we may judge, and take the estimate of our actions.
1. The first is the Maximum quod sic; and that scantling is set down in the first Commandment; With all thy mind, with all thy heart, with all thy strength.
2. The second Dimension is, the Minimum quod non; and that scantling is set down in the last Commandment, Non concupisces, Thou shalt not lust.
Now judge of thine actions by these two Dimensions;
1. In thy good actions, hast thou kept the first Proportion? hast thou done the good that thou shouldst do with all thy might? Then,
2. In thy sins, hast thou observed the second proportion? hast thou not so much as lusted after some unlawfull actions? hast thou been free from all motions, and inclinations that way?
Ye see, betwixt these two dimensions of the Law of God, here is a large space for the intervening of many offences. This made David break out into admiration; I see an end of all perfection, but thy Law is exceeding broad.
2. The second ground of this difficulty in finding out our sins, is Subtilitas cordis, the marvellous subtilty, and closeness in every mans spirit. The heart of man is an unsearchable lurking place for sin; there are many windings and turnings, and corners in it. 'Tis full of excuses, and concealments, framed like a labyrinth, or maze, or like an harbour for thieves, with many secret passages, and close conveyances in it. It will excusare excusationes, as David saith, weave cunning excuses. It will hide a sin like Rachel, when Laban searched for the Idols; bury it like Achan, in the midst of his Tent. David finds it so intricate a work to search his own heart, and to find out his sins, that he begs Gods help in it. Psal. cxxxix. 23. Search me, O God, and know my heart, try me, and know my thoughts, and see if there be any wicked way in me.
3, The third ground of this difficulty, is Falsitas Satanae, the falshood of Satan, his depths of deceitfulness, by which he will perswade us, and bear us in hand, that it is otherwise with us then we conceive and fear; Either he tells us, it is no sin, as he did to Eve, ye are mistaken; or, else he tells us, it is not so great a sin; or not so many sins, we may do well enough for all these. If we make him our Auditour, he will falsify our Accounts, like the unjust Steward in the Gospel; How much owest thou my Master? Our conscience tells us an hundred Measures, nay, ten thousand Talents; but he will falsify our account, and make us us write wrong; and set down fifty. That's the third branch, Quod Fundamentum?
IV. Quae consequentia? What be the consequences of this truth?
1. Is this true, that none can understand his errours? nor know what sins he hath commited? Then sure it is much more true, Quis intelligit quae non commisit? Who understands what sins he might have committed, had not God restrained, and by his Grace prevented the commission of them? And so it is Motivum gratitudinis, a provocation to thankfulness. There is not the greatest wickedness, but thou mightst have acted it, had God taken his hand from off thee and left thee to thy self. As a man who is gone over a narrow Bridge safely, or escaped some great down-fall, where others have perished, and then looking back, how is he affected with fear, and thankfulness? Tot sunt mihi remissa, quot non commissa, saith S. Augustine piously.
2. Is this true, Who can understand the errours he hath committed? Then this is true also, Quis intelligit quae commissurus est, Who knows what sins he shall fall into, if God leave him to himself? And so it is Motivum vigilantiae, a provocation to watchfulness. Thou that standest now, little knowest thou how soon, and how foulely thou mayest fall, if thou takest not heed. Consider thy self, saith S. Paul, Gal. vi. 1. lest thou also be tempted. Hazael could not conceive, nor believe, that he ever should be so cruel, and bloudy, as Elisha foretold him, What, am I a Dog, that I should do so? It could not enter into the heart of S. Peter, that he should ever deny his Master, though Christ forewarned him of it. Rather let us imitate the Apostles; when they heard of a Traytour, they all cried out, Master, Is it I? Wherein they discover,
1. A confession of their ignorance, They knew not their own hearts; and,
2. A suspicion of the possibility of it, I may be found a Traytour, for ought I know.
3. Is it true, No man understands his sins he hath committed? Then, Quis intelligit semina peccatorum? Who knows all the seeds of sin, and inclinations unto evil, that are in-bred, and lie lurking in his heart? And so it is Motivum humilitatis, a provocation to humility. The spawn of all sin is in-bred in us. Original sin is virtually, and seminally every sin. As all natural forms are produced, and drawn forth; de potentia materiae, from the first matter, so all actual sins spring and grow from that confused Chaos of original sin. In respect whereof, see what an hideous description S. Paul makes of every man; Their throat is an open Sepulchre, with their tongues have they used deceit, the poison of asps is under their lips; their feet are swift to shed bloud, Rom. iii. 13. &c. Not that every man is guilty of these actual sins, but because the spawn and original of them is inbred in every one. That's the fourth thing, the Consequences.
V. Qui usus? What are the Uses to be made hereof? They are of three sorts.
1. Of Conviction.
2. Of Caution.
3. Of Consolation.
1. Of Conviction. Is David thus troubled, and perplexed upon examination, and search into his heart?
1. In what case are they, Qui nunquam inquirunt, who never so much as call their hearts to examination? If David, who hath so often reckoned with God, and by frequent Repentance labour'd to make all even with him, yet finds so many back-reckonings; how fearful is their case, who multiply their arrearages, and run use upon use, and never account with him?
2. And worse; In what case are they, Qui peccata abscondunt? If David searches, and sorrows for unknown sins, how desperate are they, who when Conscience accuses, and would ease it self by sorrow, and confession, do smother, and silence it? See, the least grudgings of Conscience affect David; how forlorn are they then, who when their Sin, like the Pox▪ would break out, they drive it in again, as Felix did, and strike it back to the heart?
3. And worst of all are they, Qui palam profitentur, who are sinners, and know themselves so, and glory in it. David mourns for secret sins, and these boast themselves in manifest Impieties. They who are Saints, and Angels, and already in Heaven, in compare with thee, mourn for suspicious sins, and thou shewest thy sins like Sodom, and triumphest in thine abominations.
2. Of Caution, Is this true, no man understands his errours? Then,
1. Non sufficit Iudicium alienum. What though no man can accuse thee of sin? That will not acquit thee. Many think to go to Heaven by the voice of the Country, if no man can blame them: No, we must distinguish betwixt a good name, and a good conscience. Fama propter homines, Conscientia propter Deum, saith S. Augustine: A good name will carry it amongst men; but it is a good conscience only that can acquit us before God. Quid prodest tibi neminem habere conscium, habenti conscientiam? saith Lactantius. What though thy neighbours and brethren absolve thee? yet God and thy conscience can condemn thee. The good Centurion, Luke vii. carried it clear by the voice of his neighbours, Dignus est, vers. 4. He is worthy that thou shouldst come to him; Ey, but his own conscience reproves him, vers. 7. Domine, non sum dignus, Lord I am not worthy to come unto thee.
2. Is this true, none can understand his errours? Then non sufficit Iudicium proprium; the absolutions of thine own conscience cannot fully discharge thee. I know nothing by my self, saith S. Paul, 1 Cor. iv. 4. Yet am I not hereby justified; but he that judgeth me is the Lord; who can find fault with those actions which we account unblameable, and very commendable. Aliter judicat peritus artifex, aliter imperitus inspector, saith S. Aug. A skilful workman, will find great fault there, where an unskilful smatterer can see no failing.
3. Non sufficit Iudicium Satanae. It is possible Satan may not be able to accuse us, and yet notwithstanding, his silence cannot acquit us. As in his siftings of Iob, he could find no matter of any just accusation. In that Plea against Iob, the Devil non-suited himself, he had nothing to object against him. As S. Chrysostom observs, when God asked Satan the second time, Whence comest thou Satan? The Devil answered, From compassing the earth: he doth not say from tempting of Iob; he had no complaint against him. But though Satan could not, yet God could, and did lay many things against him; Thou writest bitter things against me, and makest me to possess the iniquities of my youth. That's the second sort.
3. Of Consolation. Art thou cast into this perplexity with David? Cryest thou out with him, Who can understand his errours? Then ease and comfort thy self, with these three relieving Considerations.
1. Quis intelligit multitudinem misericordiarum? Who can understand the multitude of Gods mercies and compassions? They are not onelyonly over all his good works, but they are farr beyond, and above, and over all our evil works. Thus S. Chrysostom, discoursing upon that passage, Psal. iii. 5, 6. Thy mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens, and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds; Thy righteousness is like the great mountains, thy judgments are a great deep. See, saith he, the dimensions of his mercy are farr beyond the bounds of all his other Attributes: The height of the Clouds, the bigness of the Mountains, the depth of the Sea, they may be fathom'd, but who knows the largeness of the Heavens, or who can comprehend the multitudes of his mercies?
2. Quis intelligit vim, & virtutem meriti Christi? Doth thy heart cry out, Who can understand his errours? Quiet and comfort it with this Meditation; Who can understand the virtue of Christ's bloud, the price of his merits, the plenty of his redemption? He is able to abolish all kinds of sin. His bloud is compared to the depth of the Sea; I will cast all their sins into the depth of the Sea, Micah vii. 19. and that can drown Mountains as well as Mole-hills. The strength of his mercies is like the strength of the Sun, and that can dispel the thickest clouds, as well as the thinnest vapours, Isai. xliv. 22. He will blot out as a thick cloud thy transgressions, and as a cloud thy sins.
3. Quis intelligit vim poenitentiae? Answer these doubtings of thine own heart, with this Meditation; Who understands the virtue of Repentance?
1. Of general Repentance, for sins known, and unknown. In this case, if upon search thou canst not discover all thy sins, deal as the Israelites were to do, in finding out of a Murther, Deut. xxi. 1. They were to search into all their Cities, and to measure round about them, and if they could not find it out, they were to pray, Lord be merciful to thy people. So, measure thou, and search thou into every corner of thine heart, and say unto the Lord, Forgive me mine unknown sins. Look upon the whole Law of God, and acknowledge the whole Indictment, plead guilty to all. With the Publican confess thy self a sinner; with David confess thy self a great sinner, Psal. xxv. with S. Paul, confess thy self the greatest of sinners. This very general Repentance, will much ease and comfort thee.
2. Who understands the virtue of daily Repentance? There is great use of that to ease thee of these anxieties.
For,
1. It hath a virtue of Prevention of greater sins. The daily pumping of a leaking Ship, will keep it from sinking. As they do, who would prevent the Stone, they will daily use helps to carry away the smaller gravel; so labour thou by daily Repentance to purge away thy smaller sins, and thou shalt never be troubled with the Stone in the Heart. And,
2. Daily Repentance will facilitate the harsh and bitter work of Repentance, which is exceeding unwelcome to flesh and bloud. Use thy self to it daily, and it will free thee from those fearful pangs of late Repentance. A green wound is easily cured; but suffer it to rankle and fester, then lancing and searing, will be all little enough. 'Tis good for a man to bear the yoke of Repentance, even from his youth; it will make it more easie. As S. Ambrose speaks, if it be diurna, it will not be diuturna. Those quotidian fits will be both shorter and easier. Every day reckon with thy God, and thy Conscience, put not all off to the last extremity. What Christ saith of Cares, is most true of Sins and Repentance for them, Sufficient to the day is the evil thereof.
Felix qui potuit.