A Light from Christ Leading Unto Christ, Classis 25
The twenty fifth Claſsis or Company of Queſtions.
1 Queſtion.
YOu have made profeſſion of your knowledge, faith, repentance and love, and your experience how to enliven and ſtrengthen the habits of thoſe antecedent graces, divine knowledge, lively faith, Evangelicall repentance, and chriſtian love and charity. Now what are thoſe more immediate, preſent, neceſſary graces, or gratious affections, reſolutions, and actions in the ſoul, in which you may wait on Chriſt as in more immediate preparatives to be examined, enlivened, reſolved upon; acted and exerciſed immediately before, or at that time, when you draw near to partake of the Lords Supper.
Anſw. There are and may be diverſe, but chiefly theſe that follow.
Queſt. 26. What is the firſt of theſe to be quickned in you? What light from Chriſt for theſe have you ſeen?2 Chro. 32, &c. Iſa. 57.15. Iſa. 66.2. Mic. 6.8. Epheſ. 4.…0.
Anſw. Firſt by the power of Chriſt dwelling in my ſoul, I may endeavour to ſtir up and be affected with a holy reverence, godly ſorrow, and humbleneſſe of ſpirit in my heart, quickned in or by a ſerious meditation or thinking,
1. Of my great unthankfulneſſe to God my Father in Chriſt for his Free grace and love to my ſoul in the Lord Ieſus,1 Cor. 3.1, &c. Heb. 5.12 who loved me and gave himſelfe for me, that I have grieved his Spirit by whom I am ſeal'd to the day of redemptiō.
2. By meditation, or thinking of my great unprofitableneſſe in my former partaking of Chriſt in this and other ſacred ordinances, what ſmall growth in knowledge, faith, love, power over ſin, fruitfulneſſe in good works and other graces.
3. In meditating and thinking of my own weakneſſe unworthineſs, and unfitneſſe now to meet Chriſt;Gen. 28. 26, 17. Iſa. 6.5, 6, 7. 1 Cor. 11 28, 29. Gal. 3.1. Luk. 2.19 Heſt. 5.2 Mark. 5.27, &c. my inability to examine my ſelfe or diſcerne the Lords body; or by the eye of faith to ſee Chriſt crucified for me, and meditate untill I be truly affected with a holy reverence and childe-like fear of offending my God, in not comming rightly fitted for the Lords preſence in this ſacred Ordinance, ſo that I durſt not approach if I did not hope that in Chriſt the golden Scepter of grace ſhall be holden forth unto me for my comfort, & therefore preſſe to come to Chriſt for vertue from Chriſt to ſtrengthen grace in my ſoul.
4. In meditating and thinking of my former breach of covenant with my God and Father, which I have renued time after time in this ſacred Ordinance, and too often broken againe, for all which I ſhould endeavour by the power of Chriſt and his Spirit to wait on Chriſt in meditation, and prayer, untill I finde my ſelfe affected with a holy godly ſorrow and humbleneſſe of ſpirit, for that I have in the leaſt meaſure offended my God, and loving Father in Jeſus Chriſt; ſo that as I may, ſo I can confeſſe truly with the Centurion, Lord I am not worthy thou ſhouldeſt come under the roofe of the houſe of my heart,Gen. 32.24, &c. Hoſ. 12.4 Rom. 8.26, 27. Iudg. 10.15, 16. Mat. 15.27, 28. ſpeak but the word and thy ſervant ſhall be healed, Matth. 8.8. Or with the poor Publican, ſtand a far off as ſcarce daring to look up to heaven, had I not Chriſt my Mediator, and ſmiting my breaſt, ſay as the repenting Publican, God be mercifull to me a ſinner, Luke 18.13. Lord once again ſeal the aſſurance of my pardon in and by Chriſt to my own ſoul.
Queſt. 3. What is a ſecond immediate preparatory grace, or gracious affection or ſanctified act, or motion of the ſoul as a preparative, for the quickning of which, you ſhould wait on Chriſt immediately before you draw near to the Lords Table.
Anſw. I may and ought to wait on Chriſt, and look up to Chriſt untill I finde by the power of Chriſts Spirit in my ſoul, in ſenſe and feeling of my great need of Chriſt: A holy hunger, and ſpirituall thirſt-deſiring-deſire, and earneſt longing after Chriſt, and his ſoul-cheriſbing vertue, and ſpirituall nouriſhment which my ſoul wants.
Firſt, to ſeal my aſſurance of Chriſts unchangeable love to me.
And ſecondly, to ſtrengthen and nouriſh in me, my life of grace, and my love and obedience to my God and my Father in the Lord Ieſus Chriſt,Pſal. 63.1, &c. Pſ. 107.9. Ier. 44.3. Ier. 31.3 Mal. 3.6. Iohn 13.1. Phil. 4.13. Rom. 16.26. Gal. 2.20. my Lord and my Redeemer, who loved me, and gave himſelf for mee, and will enliven me according to the rich promiſes of Chriſt in the Goſpel; as Pſal. 42.1, 2, &c. Luk. 22.15. as Chriſt, ſo a Chriſtian to meet Chriſt.
Queſt. 4. What is a third immediate preparatory grace, or gracious affection of the ſoule, for the quickning of which you muſt and ought to look up unto, and wait on Chriſt, and endeavour to enliven and exerciſe immediately before you draw near to the Lords table, are invited by Chriſts Miniſters, to partake of that bread, and drink that Cap in the holy Sacrament of the Lords Supper? what light from Chriſt to reveal him unto you?
Anſw. I may and ought by ſtrength from Chriſt to meditate of Chriſts gracious invitation of me.
1. As a poor humbled ſinner to come in to him, and finde reſt and refreſhing to my ſoul, as Mat. 11.22.
2. Inviting me as one of his believing ſons or daughters, to come to his feaſt, and to partake of his Supper, as Cantic. 5.1.
Iſa. 55.1, 2, &c. Luke 14.17.24. Rev. 19 9 Mat. 22.1, &c. 2 Chro. 30.18, &c.3. To meditate of this invitation, untill by the ſpirit of Chriſt my heart be affected with joyfulneſſe, that I may come and have liberty to come with joy and rejoycing to the Lords Table, as to a moſt free and rich mariage feaſt in which I hope to have a ſweet union and communion with Chriſt my Lord, the heavenly husband of my ſoul.
Queſt. 5. What is the fourth preparatory grace or gracious affection, reſolution, or act of the ſoul, to be renewed, quickned, and enlivened, immediately before you are coming to the Lords Table.
Anſw. As the Lord is pleaſed in this holy Sacrament to ſeal and confirme his Covenant of free grace in Chriſt, and of the communion and union of Chriſt with me and my ſoul; ſo firſt by the power from Chriſt, when I draw near to this bleſſed Sacrament, I do not only reſolve by the grace of God to renew, out actually by his grace I do renew my Covenant, vows, & proteſtations to & with the Lord my God. 2. And as the Lord doth take, avouch, and acknowledge me to be one of his people in Chriſt; ſo I doe avouch, witneſſe, and vow, that the Lord is and ſhall be my God and Father in Chriſt Ieſus, by the ſame power and grace of Chriſt. 3. And that I do and will renounce all my former ſins, and failings, and all ſinfull union and communion with thoſe ſpirituall enemies,Deut. 26.27. the World, the Fleſh, and the Devill. 4. And freely and fully offer up and render my ſelf wholeman, ſoul, and body, to do and ſuffer the will of God, in every condition and ſtate of life, untill I be diſſolved and be with Chriſt,Pſal. 50.4, &c. to live with him in glory and to do the will of God for ever. Gather my Saints to me who have renewed a covenant with me as in the Sacrament.
Queſt. 6. Is there nothing further neceſſary, that a poor ſoul may be aſſured, he or ſhe may with comfort meet Chriſt and feaſt with him at his Table?
Anſw. Yes, the reſolution of a great queſtion by the light and ſtrength of Chriſts Spirit, to look into the glaſſe of Gods Word, and of my own heart and ſoul comparing them together, to ſee and examine, and know. 1. What life of grace witn joy and hope in believing: and 2. what quickning vertue of Chriſt held forth in the Word of life there is in my ſoule. 3. What ſtrengthning with might in inner man, what abilities of ſpirituall ſenſes, ſeeing, hearing, taſting, with eyes, and ears, and mouth of faith, to diſcerne the Lords body and blood from the outward element of bread and wine, and to partake of Chriſt in the act of receiving, that ſo I may feed on Chriſt with joy & rejoycing at the Lords Table.
Queſt. 7. But what light have you from Chriſt to know whether you have life of grace and ſpirituall ſenſes in your ſoule nor not; without which it is impoſſible to diſcerne the Lords body, or to receive or ſeed on Chriſt, or draw near with any comfort to the Lords Table?
Anſw This is a great queſtion, and often hath filled my ſoule with fears and doubting, but by the grace of God in Chriſt, I ſhall render a reaſon of the hope that is in me, and ſhew you what grounds I have to believe and hope that I have found life of grace in me, and ſo ſpirituall ſenſes …o diſcern the Lords body, ſo that I may come with comfort to the Lords Supper.
Queſt. What are your grounds of your life of grace, given in you in Chriſt?
Anſw. I praiſe God I was born of religious parents, my Father like faithfull Abraham, carefull to pray with, and to inſtruct his family,Gen. 18, 19. Ioſh. 24.15. 1 Sam. 1.15. 1 Pet. 3.7. and catechize them in the firſt principles of the Oracles of God, and as Joſhua, who reſolved himſelf and his houſe to ſerve the Lord. And my Mother like Hanna, a woman pouring out of her ſoul to God in ſecret prayer for me: or as Monica did for her ſonne Auguſtine; and both my parents living together as heirs of the grace of life; ſo that their prayers might not be hindred, and with endeavouring to bring up their children in the knowledge of Chriſt and fear of God; and ſo I conceive it is more difficult to declare the firſt quickning or birth of the life, of grace my ſoul; but yet I beleeve I have felt and found divers evidences of this life in me.
Queſt. 9. You anſwer right, its difficult in ſuch to manifeſt the beginnings of grace in the heart, but what was a firſt evidence of life of grace in you, that you can diſcerne or remember.
Anſw. Truly in my childehood I was taught, and had ſome knowledge of the Scripture, and of my eſtate both by creation and the fall of Adam, and of the way of ſalvation in Chriſt the ſecond Adam, and I had an outward form at leaſt of Religion, and I was carefull to ſanctifie the Lords day and to ſpend it in holy duties,Prov. 22.6. 2 Tim. 3.15. Gen. 24.63. Rev. 1.10 Pſal. 119.136. Rom. 9.1, 2, 3. both publick & private (though with many failings. And I remember on a Lords day after Supper I went into a Garden (as Iſaac into the field) to meditate of what I had heard Preached) and I hearing a great noiſe of children and youths playing in the ſtreets, and ſo prophaning the Lords day, I was ſo grieved, that I ſhed tears for them, as David for his enemies, conceiving their eſtate was fearful, being ſenſleſſe of their own miſery, and adding ſin to ſin; and this I thought might be ſome work of Gods Spirit, and ſign of true grace then beginning in my ſoul, when I was about ten or twelve years of age.
Queſt. 10. I do conceive there might be much wrought in you by the power of education, moving you to diſlike that open prophanation of the Lords day, of Parents ſuffering their Children to play in the ſtreets, when they ſhould rather be catechizing them in their families (as it is a common fault ſtill) yet there is good hope that affection and grief for ſin was a work wrought in you by the Spirit of Chriſt, and ſo a an evidence of true grace in your ſoul: But what further evidence have you found?
Anſ. After I was grown to riper years,Gen. 42.16. Rom. 2.14, 15. 2 Cor. 12, 7, &c. Rom. 7.22, &c. in my youthful time when I left my Parents, I was too ſubject to conform to that company and family with whom I lived, where was an outward common form of Religion, and ſaying of ſome prayers ſometimes; but I ſaw no power of Religion, no conſcience of ordinary ſwearing, eſpecially leſſer Oathes (as common blinde people call them) as by their Faith and Troth, and by our Lady, &c. no conſcience of immoderate abuſe of the creatures, eating and drinking to ryot, no care of any ſtrict obſervation of the Lords day, but a diſlike of too much preciſeneſſe, as they called it, and inveighing againſt Puritans, as they called them sn thoſe dayes (as ſome ſuch do againſt Roundheads in theſe times) of which ſo called, I did know ſome to be religious and good people; and ſometimes would defend and ſpeak for them, whether out of a principle of graca from Chriſt, or by the power of my education, I have ſince called in queſtion: but this I am ſure, that amongſt this formal or civil, yea, ſometimes uncivil company, I had many buffetings of Satans meſſengers, ſometimes as a captive priſoner I had many falls into ſin, and failin my walking to the great trouble of my conſcience, enlightned, whether by the light of nature, accuſing or excuſing (as the Apoſtle ſpeaks) or whether by the common light of the ſpirit in my education,Rom. 2.15. and word Preached, or thirdly, whether by the light of grace and ſpirit of Chriſt, I conceived a great queſtion, and was often filled with fears and terrors in my ſoul, that though I ſeemed a Saint in compariſon of divers open prophane perſons about me, yet having ſuch falls and corruptions, I was either ſtill unregenerate, or a formal hypocri…e at beſt (as Mr. Bolton upon the firſt Pſalm the beginning deſcribes him) and ſo could ſeldom gain or keep any quiet in my conſcience or true peace (as I was perſwaded in my ſoul, onelyonly ſome comforts I had hope of in Chriſt Ieſus.
Queſt. 11. Truly your ſtate I believe might well be queſtionable, especially if you were drawn away with the error of the wicked, Rev. 2.5.to approve of their wayes, or to diſlike ſtrictneſſe in Religion, and preciſe walking with God; at the beſt, it is certain, that if truth of grace was ever in you (yet) you had loſt your firſt love; and though formerly you might have had a name to live, 2 Pet. 3.17. Rev. 2.4. & 3.1, 2.yet in this condition you were either dead or taken captive indeed, or graces ready to dye in you, your works and walking being found ſo imperfect before God: But tell me I pray you, how or by what means did you get any peace or quiet in your conſcience in thoſe times?
Anſ. I do not remember that I did approve of the evil wayes of that company with whom I lived,Rom. 7.14. &c. Pſal. 66.18, 19. 2 Cor. 7.5. Gen. 25.22. or of any ſailings in my ſelf, either in judgement or affection, but was rather ſorry for ſin in others, though by occaſion and temptation I have faln; but in thoſe things which the world, and ſome of my acquaintance counted but peccadilloes, little ſins, yet I could not reſt until for the quieting of my conſcience I went into a ſecret place and confeſſed my ſins to God; yea, ſometimes with many tears and begging pardon and power over them; but ſtill my life was without comfort, I ſinned, and prayed, and ſeemed to repent, and confeſſing my ſins, and ſinned again, and thought by my repentance I pacified Gods wrath, or might pleaſe him by amendment; yet I got not power over my ſins, and the corruptions of my nature, nor any true peace, or aſſurance that I was Gods childe, and therefore lived in fear of Hell, and ſenſe of bondage,Rom 7.14, 15. Gen. 25 22. and fear ſometimes that I had neither true faith nor repentance in me, or did know either Chriſt or the Goſpel of grace as I ſhould, if I had any life of grace in me; and ſo it was as if I had twins in my ſoul as Rebecca had.
Queſt. 12. Its a good ſign you had truth of grace, in that you were not drawn to allow of ſin in your ſelf or others, and that indeed there were twins in your ſoul, Fleſh and Spirit; but your courſe in ſeeking to pacifie your conſcience, Gen. 25.23. Gal. 5.17in ſome humiliation and confeſſions, and ſorrow for your ſins, with reſolution of amendment, if they did ariſe from any legal fears or accuſations of natural conſcience, and not from Chriſts Spirit; or if you reſted in theſe or any acts or works of your own, or in any religious duty, or performances of duty of piety or mercy, as many do, although your conſcience might be quieted for the preſent (as a Papiſts conſcience by his Confeſſion to a Prieſt, or performance of Penances enjoyned) yet this way was not the way to get any true or ſound peace to your ſoul, or to get any true power over your ſins or ſinful corruptions in you; but to look to Chriſt, Acts 5.3whom God hath exalted as a Prince and a Saviour, to give repentance to Iſrael, and remiſſion of ſins, and to wait on Chriſt in the Goſpel, till you by the Spirit of Chriſt be made ſo ſenſible of ſin and miſery, that you ſee your extreme need of Chriſt, and be drawn by the ſame Spirit to receive and reſt on Chriſt as a ſufficient Saviour, and one in whom God the Father is well pleaſed: This is the way to true peace in your ſoul, Mat. 17 5. as the treaſure of Chriſts Kingdom ſet up in your heart, Rom. 14.17. Ioh. 1.12. Mat. 11.28, &c.
Anſ. I do acknowledge you ſay well,Ioh. 6.37, 44. Iſa. 11.10. & 26.3, 4 Mat. 16.24. Phil. 3.6, &c. Rom. 15.13. & 8.16. though I might have ſome weak faith in Chriſt, and ſome beginning of grace in my ſoul, yet the way I went was not a right way, as now (I believe) to gain true peace, becauſe I did not begin my peace, and aſſurance of peace from Chriſt, and Gods Free-grace, and love in Chriſt, and faith in him; but from my endeavour of repentance, and acts of amendment (both which I finde imperfect to this day) and ſo can have no perfect and full peace that way; but now I praiſe God ſince it pleaſed God of his goodneſſe to let me ſee a more clear light of the Goſpel, and to reveal his Son in me (as Saint Paul ſpeaks, Gal. 1.16.) I have found and felt that there is a glorious reſt and peace in Chriſt for poor ſinners,Iſa. 11.10. Ioh. 6.44 Ioh. 6.37 whom God the Father giveth and draweth into Chriſt, and whom Chriſt will in no wiſe caſt out from him; and now the Lord hath enabled me to deny my ſelf-righteouſneſſe, and all ſelf-confidence, and by faith in Chriſt held forth in the promiſe of the Goſpel, to adhere to Chriſt, to reſt on Chriſt, and truſt to his merits and righteouſneſſe for my Juſtification before God, and my eternal ſalvation in heaven, and thus I have joy and peace in believing, and am aſſured by the ſpirit of God,Rom. 8.16. Gal. 2.20. witneſſing with my ſpirit, that I am the childe of God, and have life of grace in me, that Chriſt liveth in me, and ſo I may come with comfort to meet Chriſt for nouriſhment of this life of grace at the Lords Table.
Queſt. But have you now other ſigns or ſymptomes of the life of grace in you, ſave your faith and reſting on Chriſt for ſalvation?
Anſ. Truly, by that light I have from Chriſt, I muſt acknowledge Chriſt reſted truly on by faith, and that aſſurance ariſing from the truth of the promiſes of God in the Goſpel, in general and ſpecial,Gal. 2.20. 2 Cor. 1.20. & 5.19, 20 2 Tim. 1.12. Eph. 3.16, &c. Iohn 6.5, 6. Rom. 6.11. and the perſwaſion of Gods ſpirit in my ſoul in particular, that Chriſt loved me, and gave himſelf for me, and ſo that God is my God, reconciled in Chriſt to me; and the eye of the ſoul, by a reflect act of faith, ſeeing that I do belive, and by a living hand of faith, lay hold and reſt on Chriſt for ſalvation; this lively faith (I ſay) is a prime evidence that Chriſt is mine, and that Chriſt dwelleth in me, and that I am his, and that he hath truly communicated the life of grace to my ſoul; but beſides this, I finde other ſigns of the ſpirit of life in me, evidencing, I hope, the life of grace in my ſoul.
Queſt. 14. I do confeſſe a true lively faith is and may be a principal evidence of the life of grace in the heart: Now what other evidence have you?
Anſ. Firſt, by light from Chriſt I have found, that this aſſurance by faith in Chriſt,Rom 5.4, 5. and Chriſts ſpirit of Chriſts love to me, and the ſhedding abroad of this love of God in my ſoul, hath affected my heart,
1. With love to Chriſt again; yea, ſuch a love as draweth me after Chriſt more and more,Rom 5.4, 5. 2 Cor. 5.14, 15. Cant. 1.2, 3, 4. 2 Cor. 5.17. 2 Pet. 1.…, 4. 1 Pet. 2.2, 3. 1 Cor. 11.16. Iohn 6.33, &c. Iob 22.21. Gen. 24.63. Iſa. 66.11. & 12.3. 1 Cor. 16.22. 1 Ioh. 3.14 Ioh. 20.27. and after a more full union and communion with Chriſt. And,
2. Conſtrains me with a holy, ſpiritual, loving affection, to live henceforth, not to my ſelf, but to him who lived, and died for me, and roſe again: So that now,
3. I am made partaker of a new creation, and of the Divine nature.
4. I hunger more vehemently after the word of grace (as having taſted that the Lord is gracious. I long to meet with Chriſt here to receive ſpiritual nouriſhment from Chriſt, to nouriſh this life of grace in my ſoul.
5. I long more then ever to meet with Chriſt in the Sacrament, to feed ſpiritually on Chriſt, there to ſtrengthen the life of grace in me.
6. I long more and more to keep a ſecret acquaintance with God in ſecret meditation and prayer, that I may ſuck the breaſts of the promiſes, and draw water of life out of the wells of ſalvation, and ſo ſtrengthen the life of grace in my ſoul.
7. In brief, I now love Chriſt more and more in himſelf, and prize Chriſts righteouſneſſe and his preſence with me, and in me above all the world, as Phil. 3.7, 8.
8. I love Chriſt more and more in his Word, in all ſweet and ſacred truths, more and more revealed to my ſoul.
9. I love Chriſt in all his Saints,1 Ioh. 3.14. Chriſts brethren and mine.
10. And daily I wait on Chriſt, to grow in grace, in faith, in holineſſe,2 Pet. 3.… & 1.8, 9. in every good work of grace, adding to faith vertue, and ſo grace to grace, that I may more and more be aſſured of Gods love to me: And,
1. Have my calling and Election be made more ſure to my ſoul. And,& 20 10.
2. That I may ſubmit to my Fathers will with content,Luk. 22.41, 42. till he bring me to glory; and all this not by any ſtrength or power of my own, but by the ſtrength and living vertue of Chriſt, and Chriſts ſpirit dwelling in me; and this aſſureth me that I have from Chriſt the life of grace in my ſoul, and may ſafely come with comfort to meet Chriſt at the Lords Table, who loved me, and gave himſelf for me.
Queſt. Theſe and ſuch like are comfortable evidence of the life of grace: But tell me, do you not ſtill finde corruptions in you, and fears, and cares, and ſorrows for ſins, as you felt before.
Anſ. I do acknowledge, that I finde
1. Failings in my beſt performances, but preſſe forwards towards perfection.
2. I ſometimes meet with a meſſenger of Satan ſent to buffet me. And,
Phil. 3.13, 14. 2 Cor. 12.7. Rom. 7.23, 24.3. I finde a law in my members ſometimes rebelling againſt the law of my minde, and ſeeeking at leaſt to take me captive to the Law of ſin: But yet with a great deal of difference, from what was before, I came to ſee Chriſt more clearly:
For firſt, Though Satans meſſengers be ſent to buffet me, yet I know the grace of God in Chriſt is ſufficient for me, and his ſtrength ſhall be made manifeſt in my weakneſſe.2 Cor. 12.9, 10. And although rebels within me riſe up againſt me, and againſt the l…fe of grace in my ſoul,Rom. 7.23, 24. yet I thank God through Jeſus Chriſt my Lord.
Secondly, And for my fears and cares, and ſorrow for ſin; now I fear not Hell and Damnation as before I did fear, becauſe I know there is no condemnation to me that am in Chriſt Jeſus,Rom. 8.1, 2. endeavouring by the ſtrength of Chriſt, to walk, not after the fleſh but after the ſpirit, as Rom. 8.1. And the law and power of the ſpirit of life which is in Chriſt, hath in comfortable manner made me free from the law and power of ſin and death, as Rom. 8.1, 2. So that as Rom. 7.12, 14, 22. it is not I, but ſin that dwelleth in me.
Thirdly, I do indeed feel the leaſt ſin, as a mote in my eye, very troubleſome, and I finde my heart ſmitten within me for it; yet I fear ſin, and fear to offend my God by ſin, not with a ſervile ſlaviſh ſin as before, but with a ſon like fear of offending ſo good a God, and my ſo gracious a Father in Ieſus Chriſt, as David, 1 Sam. 24.5. Romans 8.15. and 6.1.
Fourthly, I do grieve and ſorrow for my ſins and failings, but yet as with a childe-like ſorrow that I have any way, or at any time grieved the ſpirit of my Father, who hath ſealed me to the day of Redemption in Ieſus Chriſt my Saviour, Eph. 4.30.
Fifthly, But ſtill with this confidence, that he which hath begun a good work in me, will perfect it to the day of Chriſt, Phil. 1.6.
Sixthly, So that although my enemies Spiritual or Temporal, be never ſo many, and the Tribulations never ſo great, yet they cannot ſeparate me from the love of Chriſt; but when I have finiſhed my courſe, and kept the ſaith, he will give to me the crown of Righteouſneſſe, and preſerve me aſſuredly to his heavenly Kingdom, Romans 8.35, &c. 2 Timothy 4.8, 18.
Queſt. 16. You have witneſſed a good confeſſion, and given comfortable evidence of the life of grace in your ſoul; and I believe the Lord Chriſt will bid you welcom to his Table: But do you believe that the Lord doth work in the ſame manner with every Chriſtian that is and may be admitted to this feaſt of the Lord? What light hath Chriſt revealed to you in this particular.
Anſ. No verily, I do not believe that the Lord is pleaſed to work in all alike, I have heard a good woman ſay, That ſhe was born of Parents very ignorant, who had little ſhew of Religion in them, nor did they bring her up in a Religious way, living then in a place of much ignorance and prophaneneſſe, having no prayer in Family, nor repeating of Sermons, not ſo much as an out-form of Religion, and the firſt time that ever ſhe began to conſider her wayes, and the miſery of her natural condition;Exod. 9… 16, &c. Pſa. 29 8 Acts 24.25. Eph. 5.14. it pleaſed God to ſtrike her with fear and terror of the ſhaking voyce of Thunder, which made her tremble, and being awakened, to think of a God, and to joyn her ſelf to a few who went out to hear Gods word, by which means ſhe became a wonder to prophane people; but in the end, was converted, and found Chriſt to be the comfort of her ſoul, and many fears and cares was ſhe preſſed with in the travel of the new birth,Gal. 4.19. before Chriſt was formed in her, and ſhe found Chriſt and his ſweetneſſe of peace to her comfort; yea, ſince that, though the Lord hath ſeveral wayes tryed her faith and patience, by converſion and affliction, to teach her to ſee the emptineſſe of the creature, and the fulneſſe of God reconciled to her in Chriſt; yet ſhe liveth by faith in God, who hath promiſed never to fail her,Heb. 13.5. nor forſake his ſons and daughters in Chriſt, who depend upon him in the Lord Ieſus.
Queſt. 17. Have you known any other drawn by ſuch like means to ſeek out after God in Chriſt?
2 Chron. 33.12, &c.Anſ. 1. Some have been drawn by outward loſſes and miſeries, as Manaſſes was, by great affliction to conſider of their wayes, and repent of their ſins, ſo that he might ſay as one did, I had periſhed, unleſſe I had periſhed; if I had not loſt my eſtate in all outward appearance, I had loſt my ſoul.
2. I have have heard one acknowledge, That the Lord did ſtrike him with a terrible ſickneſſe and fear of death and hell for his ſins, which terrified him; and when he did recover, God did draw him to attend more diligently to the Preaching of the Word, by which he became ſo convinced of his former evil life, and of the damnable danger of his former wicked companions, and of the vanity of this preſent evil world.
1. Chriſts ſpirit by the law or commanding part of the Word, revealing even the vain thoughts,Ier, 4.14. Rom. 7. and ſpeculative ſinful imaginations, odious to God, yea, the luſts of the heart to be damnable, and as Chriſt interprets the Law, He that is angry with his Brother raſhly, or calls his Brother Raca, or gives him evil names, ſhall be in danger of Iudgement: and he that ſaith, thou fool, ſhall be in danger of hell fire: or he that but looks upon a woman, to luſt after her, hath committed Adultery with her already in his heart;Mat. 5.28. Gal. 3.24. that Law was his School-maſter to bring him unto Chriſt: and the Law ſo expounded by Chriſt convincing his conſcience, and ſo accuſing him of ſin, that he could finde no reſt or peace in his ſoul.
2. The ſpirit of Chriſt by the promiſing part of the Word, the Goſpel of grace drawing him unto Chriſt,Acts 13.48. Mat. 11.28, 29. wrought faith in his ſoul, enabled him to believe and imbrace Chriſt, to receive and reſt on Chriſt, as he is All-ſufficient, and alone Redeemer; and then he found reſt in the arms of his Saviour, and did know that Chriſt had communicated life of grace to his ſoul.
Queſt. 18. Sir, have you known none in a different manner converted unto Chriſt?
Anſ. Yes truly, to anſwer your relation, I remember one acquainted me with the manner of his life, and told me of his converſation: I was ſaith he,Mr. M. of London. firſt a Souldier beyond Sea, and got money and outward riches, but I had gotten no life of grace in my ſoul. Then I came into England, and was a Courtier, and encreaſed my riches, but I gained no grace at Court, nor life of grace to my ſoul. Then I turned Merchant in the city, and gained a place in cuſtome for a great Merchandize and increaſed my gold and ſilver by trading, but I gained no life of grace for my ſoul, till in the time of the great Plague, I fled the city for fear of infection, and in the country, though I took great ſtore of gold and ſilver with me, yet I was in danger to periſh for want of proviſion, no one would come near me for fear of the Plague, nor ſuffer me to ſtir out of doors; ſo that in a ſtraight I began to think there was a great God who could ſtarve me in the midſt of gold,Gen. 42.16. Iam. 4.16 2 King. 7.19, 20. Acts 16.29. & 5.42. Phil. …3.7, &c. of heaps or bags, or take my life in a night, and what was my gold and ſilver to me, and I went back to London like the affrighted Iaylor, not knowing what to do, and I heard a Miniſter of the Goſpel Preach Chriſt, and the Doctrine of Gods Free-grace in Chriſt ſo ſweetly, that the ſpirit of God wrought faith in my ſoul, drew me in to imbrace Chriſt, to count all but dung for Chriſt; and ſo I gained the life of grace, more of value then all the gold and ſilver in the world. And thus you may ſee how God is pleaſed to work divers wayes in the converſion of ſinners,Acts 2.36, &c. & 9.4, 5. & 16.14, Ioh. 3.1. and communicating the life of grace to their ſouls, as we finde evidence in the Scriptures in Peters tears, the Eunuch, Paul, Lydia, and the Iaylor, and others, ſome wrought upon by the ſpirit of Chriſt in one way, ſome in another; but which way ſoever it pleaſeth God to give grace, that ſoul that findes and feels this life of grace to be nouriſhed, may aſſuredly approach with boldneſſe and comfort to the Table of the Lord.
Queſt. 19. But Sir, Pſal, 116.11. Iſa. 50.10. Pſal. 51.8, &c. Iſa. 63.17. Pſal. 77.7, &c.I have heard a friend of mine complain, that although in time paſt ſhe thought ſhe had the life of grace in her ſoul, and ſhe found divers evidences of her converſion, felt joy and comfort in Chriſt, with hungring deſire, and rejoycing to meet Chriſt in his Word, Sacrament, and other Ordinances: and although ſhe felt ſweet refreſhment from Chriſt in them, yet now ſhe walks in darkneſſe, and ſeeth no light, ſhe findes hardneſſe of heart, and deadneſſe of spirit to prayer, or any ſpiritual duty; ſhe is forgetful of good, cannot remember Gods Word, full of fears and doubtings that ſhe is none of Gods Elect; ſhe is ſubject to fearful temptations againſt God, and Chriſt, and the Gospel, and Miniſters, as if falſe Preachers, yea, to ſpeak againſt Gods Government, or think ſtrange thoughts of God, and that God hath hardned her heart, and his mercy is gone from her for ever: And becauſe ſhe ſeeth ſo many diviſions, even amongſt thoſe whom ſhe hath eſteemed to be Saints, ſhe is ready to caſt off all, and to think it is in vain for her to meet Chriſt in the Word, or in the Sacraments, judging her caſe deſperate, and in a ſad condition; ſhe findes ſuch decay of grace in her ſoul: What counſel I pray you is to be given to her? Or what comfort or means of comfort in Chriſt, that ſhe may be revived, and the life of grace revived in her, and ſhe filled again with longings after Chriſt, that ſo ſhe may meet Chriſt again with comfort at the Lords Table?
Anſ. I have ſatisfied this doubt, and anſwered theſe caſes of conſcience at large out of Gods Word in a Sermon which I Preached at Pauls Croſſe London, Printed by G. Fayrbead.1617. called, The true way of a Chriſtian to the new Jeruſalem; but I believe it is difficult to be gotten in print, therefore I will acquaint you with the brief reſolutions of theſe and ſuch like caſes of conſcience, by which ſome chriſtians in the like temptations have found comfort, and it may be with Gods bleſſing they may be profitable for your friend.