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The Theater of Gods Judgments · Thomas Beard

The Theater of Gods Judgments, Book 1 · Chapter 23

CHAP. XXIII. Of Epicures, and Atheists.

AS touching voluptuous Epicures and cursed Atheists, that deny the providence of God, beleeve not the immortality of the soule, think there is no such thing as life to come, and consequently impugn all divinity, living in this world like bruit beasts and like dogs and swine, wallowing in all sensuality; they doe also strike themselves against this commandement, by going about to wipe out and deface the knowledge of God; and if it were possible, to extinguish his very Essence; wherein they shew themselves more than mad and brutish, whereas notwithstanding all the evident testimonies of the vertue, bounty, wisedome, and eternall power of God, which they dayly see with their eyes, and feele in themselves, doe neverthelesse strive to quench his light of nature, which enlighteneth and perswadeth them and all Nations of this, There is a God, by whom we live, move, and have our being; who although in his Essence is invisible, Acts 17. 22.yet maketh he himselfe knowne, and as it were seene by his works and creatures, and mighty government of the world, that he that would seeke after him, may (as one might say) handle and feele him. Therefore they that would perswade themselves that this glorious heaven and massy earth wanted a guider and a governour, have their understanding blinded from fight of things manifest, and their hearts perverted from all shew of reason: for is there any substance in this world that bath no cause of his subsisting? Is there a day without a Sun? Are there fruit and no trees? Plants and no seeds? Can it raine without a cloud? Be a tempest without winde? Can a ship sayle without a Pylot? Or a house be built without a Carpenter or builder? If then every part of this world hath his particular cause of being and dependance, is it likely that the whole is without cause to be to it a furnishing and government? Say, you hogs and dogs, doe you not beleeve that which you see? or if your eyes be bored out that you cannot see, must you thinke there is no Sunne nor light, because your eyes are in darknesse and blindnesse? Can you behold all the secrets of nature? Is there nothing but a voice, a singing of birds, or an harmonious consort of musicall instruments in the world? And yet who perceiveth these small things? Can you behold the winde? Can you see the sweet smell of fragrant flowers along the fields? Can you see the secrets of your owne bodies, your entrailes, your heart and your braine? And yet you cease not to beleeve that there are such things, except you be heartlesse and brainlesse indeed: Why then doe you measure God by your own sight, and doe not beleeve there is a God, because he is invisible, since that he manifesteth himselfe more apparently both to understanding and sence, than either voice, smell or winde? Doe not your owne oathes, blasphemies, and horrible cursings beare witnesse against you, when you sweare by, despight and maugre him whom you deny to be? Doth not every thunderclap constraine you to tremble at the blast of his voyce? If any calamity approach neere unto or light upon you, or if death be threatned or set before your eyes, doe not you then feele, in spight of all your reason, that the severe judgement of God doth waken up your dull and sleepy conscience to come to his tryall? There was never yet any nation or people so barbarous, which by the perswasion and instinct of nature hath not alwayes beleeved a certaine deity, and to thinke otherwise is not only a derestable thing, but also most absurd, and so contrary to humane reason, that the very Paynims have very little tolerated such horrible blasphemy. The Athenians are witnesses hereof, who banished Protagoras their city and countrey, because in the Cic. of the nature of the gods, lib. 1.beginning of one of his books he called in question the deity, and caused his books to be burned openly. Neither shewed they any lesse severity towards Diagoras, sirnamed the Atheist: when being (as some say) injuriously Diodor. 13.and falsly accused of this crime, and for feare of punishment, fled away, they proclaimed, that whosoever did kill him should have a talent of silver in recompence, which in value is as much as six hundred crowns, after the rate of five and thirty shillings French to the crowne. How much more then is the state of Christendome at this day to be lamented, which we see in many places infected with such a contagious pestilence, that divers men invenomed with this deadly poison, are so mischievous and wretched, as to make roome for Atheisme, by forbidding and hindering by all means possible, the course of the Gospell: wherein they make known what they are, and what zeale they beare to the religion and service of God, and with what affection they are led towards the good and safety of the commonwealth, and what hereafter is to be hoped of him: for where there is no knowledge nor feare of God, there also is no bridle nor bond to restraine and hold men backe from doing evill: whereupon they grow to that passe to be most insolent and prophane. This is the Divinity and goodly instruction that commeth beyond the mountaines, from that scientificall Vniversity and Colledge of the right reverend Masters, and from the excellent holinesse of some of their Popes: whose manner of life is so dissolute, lascivious, dishonest, and Sardanapal like, that thereby their Vide li. 1. c. 20. Lucian, Porp…yry, …ulian, &c. Bale.Atheisme is evidently and notoriously knowne and talked of by every one.

Hereof Pope Leo the tenth, a Florentine by birth, may serve for an example: who as he was a very effeminate person, given to all manner of delights and pleasure, having no other care but of himselfe, and his owne filthy carkasses ease; so had he no more taste at all, nor feeling of God and his holy Word, than a dog: he made the promises and threats contained in holy Scripture, and all else that we beleeve, matter to laugh at, and things frivolous and of no weight; mocking at the simplicity, the faith, and beleefe of Christians: for one day when Cardinall Bembus (who also shewed himselfe to be none of the best Christians in the world, by his Venetian history, where as ost as he speaketh of God be useth the plurall number, after the manner of heathen writers) alleadged a place out of the Gospell, his damnable impudency was so great as to reply, That this fable of Christ had brought to him and such as he, no little profit. Oh stinking and cursed throat to belch out such monstrous blasphemy! doe not these speeches bewray a villanous and abhominable Atheist, if ever any were? Is not this to declare himselfe openly to be Antichrist? For he is Antichrist which denieth Iesus to be Christ, and which denieth the Father and the Sonne, according as Saint Iohn saith. Albeit in the meane while this cursed 1 Iohn 2▪ 22.caitife, that had as much religion as a dog, made shew to be the protector and defender of the Catholicke Faith, making warre with all his power against Christ Iesus in the person of his servant Luther. Now after he had by his pardons and indulgences drawne out a world of money, and heaped up great treasures by the maintenance of courtizans and whores, and had enriched his bastards, one day being at meat, he received newes of the overthrow of the French in Lombardy, whereat hee rejoyced out of measure, and for that good tidings doubled his good cheare; suddenly he was constrained to turne his copy from joy into sadnesse, from pleasure into griefe and gnashing of teeth, by a most bitter and unlooked for death, which deprived him at once of all his pleasures, to make him drink the cup of Gods fierce wrath, and to throw him downe headlong into everlasting paines and torments which were provided for him. Pope Leo (saith Saint Martin of Belay in his second booke of memorable things) hearing of the great losse which the Frenchmen sustained at Milan, tooke so great joy thereat, that a catarrhe and an ague ensuing, killed him within three dayes after; a happy man indeed to die with joy.

Pope Iulius the third was one of the same stampe, nothing inferiour to the former in all manner of dissolute and infamous living, and vile and cursed talke, making knowne by his impiety, that he had none other god but Vide lib. 1. cap. 21. Heresie.his belly, and that he was none of Christs fold, but one of Epicures crew; he was such a glutton, and so passionate in his lusts, and so prophane a despiser of God and his Word, that once at supper being inraged, and blaspheming because they had not served in a cold Peacocke which he commanded to be kept whole at dinner, though there were other hot on the table; a Cardinall that was present, desired him not to be so moved for so small a trifle: What (quoth he) if it pleased God to be so angry for eating of an apple, as to thrust Adam and Eve out of paradise, should not I which am his Vicar be angry for a Peacocke, which is far more worth than any apple? See how this wicked wretch prophaned the holy Scripture, and like an Epicure and Atheist mocked God: but he died of the gout, after he had been long plagued with it, together with other diseases, leaving none other good name behind him, save the report of a most wicked and abhominable man.

Philip Strozze, whom Paulus Iovius reporteth to have bin commonly bruited T…m. 2. lib. 36.to be an Atheist, was an Exile of Florence, and afterwards prisoner there in the time of Cosimus Medius, the Prince of that Commonwealth, (against whom this Philip had enterprized to make warre) and being in prison, he killed himselfe with the sword of a Spaniard his keeper, which by oversight he had left behinde, setting the point against his throat, and falling downe upon it: so may all Atheists perish and come to naught.

Francis Rabelais having suckt up also this poison, used like a prophane villain, to make all Religion a matter to laugh and mocke at; but God deprived him of his sences, that as he had led a brutish life, so he might die a brutish death; for he died mocking all those that talked of God, or made mention of mercy in his eares.

How miserable was the end of Periers the author of that detestable book intituled Symbolum mundi, wherein he openly mocked at God and his Religion, even finally he fell into despaire, and notwithstanding all that guarded him, killed himselfe.

Iodelle also a French tragicall Poet, being an Epicure and Atheist, made a very tragicall and most pittifull end; for he died in great misery and distresse, even pined to death, after he had rioted out all his substance, and consumed his patrimony. Ligneroles the Courtier, to make himselfe seeme a man of service, made open profession of Atheisme; but his end and destruction came from thence whence he looked for credit and advancement.

To bring the matter to an end, I will here set downe a notable and strange thing that chanced in the raigne of Lewis the ninth (as Enguerran de Monstrelet in his second volume of Histories recordeth it) upon the fifteenth day of Iune in the yeare of our Lord God 1464, there happened a strange thing in the Palace at Paris: So it was, that there was a matter in law to be tried betwixt the Bishop of Angiers, and a rich citicen, whom the Bishop charged to have spoken before many witnesses, that he beleeved not that there was either God or Devill, Heaven or Hell. Now whilst the Bishops Lawyer laid to his charge these things, the place began to tremble very much wherein they were, and a stone fell downe from the roof amongst them all, without hurting any; yet every man was sore afraid, and departed out of the house untill the morrow; then the matter was begun againe to be pleaded, which was no sooner in hand, but the chamber began afresh to shake, and one of the summers came forth of his mortisehole, falling downwards two foot, and there stayed: so that all that were within the hall looking to have been slaine outright, ran out so violently, that some left behinde them their caps, others their hoods, others their slippers: summarily, glad was he that could get out first; neither durst they plead any more causes in that place untill it were mended. Thus much reporteth Enguerran, without mention of any decision of that matter. Now forasmuch as nothing happeneth by chance, it is most likely that God by that accident would give us to understand, both how monstrous and detestable all such speeches are, as also how men ought to feare and abhorre them, seeing that the dumbe and sencelesse creatures, and wood, beams, planks, and stones, and the earth it self (by nature stedfast and fixed) are so far from enduring them, that they are moved withall.

There was a certaine blasphemous wretch, that on a time being with his companions in a common lnne, carowsing and making merry, asked them, Discipulus de temp. s…rm. 132.if they thought a man was possessed with a soule or no? Whereunto when some replyed, That the soules of men were immortall, and that some of them after release from the body lived in heaven, others in Hell (for so the Writings of the Prophets and Apostles instructed them) hee answered and swore, that he thought it nothing so; but rather that there was no soule in man to survive the body, but that heaven and hell were meere fables, and inventions of Priests to get gaine by; and for himselfe, he was ready to sell his soule to any that would buy it: then one of his companions tooke up a cup of wine and said, Sell me thy soule for this cup of wine: Which he receiving, bad him take his soule; and dranke up the wine. Now Satan himselfe was there in a mans shape (as commonly he is never far from such meetings) and bought it againe of the other at the same price, and by and by bad him give him his soule; the whole company affirming it was meet he should have it, since he had bought it, not perceiving the Devill: but presently he laying hold of this souleseller, carried him into the aire before them all, toward his own habitation, to the great astonishment and amasement of the beholders; and from that day to this he was never heard of, but tryed to his pain that men had soules, and that hell was no fable, according to his godlesse and prophane opinion.

Pherecides (by birth a Syrian, a tragicall Poet and a Philosopher by profession) Aelianus de Var. bist. l. 4.boasted impudently against his schollers of his prosperity, learning and wisedome; saying, that although he offered no sacrifices unto the gods, yet he led a more quiet and prosperous life, than those that were addicted to Religion, and therefore he passed not for any such vanity. But ere long his impiety was justly revenged; for the Lord struck him with such a strange disease, that out of his body issued such a slimy and filthy sweat, and engendred such a number of lice and wormes, that his bowels being consumed by them, he died most miserably.

At Hambourgh not long since there lived an impious wretch, that despised Theatr. histor.the preaching of the Gospell, and the Ministers thereof, accounting it as a vaine thing not worthy the beleeving of any man: neither did he thus himself only; but also seduced many others, bringing them all to Atheisme and ungodlinesse. Wherefore the Lord justly recompenced him for his impiety: for he that before had no sence nor feeling of God in his conscience, being touched with the finger of the Almighty, grew to the contrary, even to too much feeling and knowledge of God, that he fell into extreme despaire, affirming now his sinnes to be past forgivenesse, because he had withdrawne others from the truth, as well as himselfe, whereas before he thought himselfe guilty of no sinne; and that God was so just, that he would not forgive him, whereas before he thought there was no God (so mighty is the operation of the Lord when he pleaseth to touch the conscience of man) finally, continuing in this desperate case, he threw himselfe from the roofe of a house into a well, and not finding water enough to drowne him, he thrust his head into the bottome thereof, till he had made an end of his life.

In the yeare of our Lord 1502 there lived one Hermannus Biswicke, a Theatr. histor.grand Atheist, and a notable instrument of Satan, who affirmed, that the world never had beginning, as foolish Moses dreamed: and that there was neither Angels, nor devils, nor hell, nor future life, but that the soules of men perished with their bodies: besides, that Christ Iesus was nothing else but a seducer of the people; and that the faith of Christians, and whatsoever else is contained in holy writs, was meere vanity. These articles full of impiety and blasphemy, he constantly avouched to the death; and for the same cause was together with his books burnt in Holland.

A certaine rich man at Holberstadium abounding with all manner of earthly commodities, gave himselfe so much to his pleasure, that he became Theatr. histor.besotted therewith; in such sort, that he made no reckoning of Religion, nor any good thing, but dared to say, that if he might lead such a life continually upon earth, he would not envy heaven, nor desire any exchange. Notwithstanding ere long (contrary to his expectation) the Lord cut him off by death, and so his desired pleasure came to an end: but after his death there appeared such diabolicall apparitions in his house, that no man daring to inhabite it, it became desolate: for every day there appeared the Image of this Epicure sitting at a board, with a number of his ghests, drinking, carousing, and making good cheare; and his table furnished with delicates, and attended on by many that ministred necessaries unto them, beside with minstrels, trumpetters, and such like. In summe, whatsoever he delighted in, in his life time, was there to be seene every day. The Lord permitting Satan to bleare mens eyes with such strange shewes, to the end that others might be terrified from such Epicurisme and impiety.

Not inferior to any of the former in Atheisme and impiety, and equall to all in manner of punishment, was one of our owne nation, of fresh and late memory, called Marlin, by profession a scholler, brought up from his Marl…w.youth in the Vniversity of Cambridge, but by practise a Play-maker, and a Poet of scurrility, who by giving too large a swing to his owne wit, and suffering his lust to have the full reines, fell (not without just desert) to that great outrage and extremity, that he denied God, and his sonne Christ, and not onelyonly in word blasphemed the Trinity, but also (as it is credibly reported) wrote books against it, affirming our Saviour to be but a deceiver, and Moses to be but a seducer of the people, and the holy Bible to be but vaine and idle stories, and all Religion but a device of policy. But see what a hooke the Lord put in the nostrils of this barking dogge: so it fell out, that as he purposed to stab one whom he ought a grudge unto, with his dagger, the other party perceiving, so avoyded the stroke, that withall catching hold of his wrest, he stabbed his owne dagger into his own head; in such sort, that notwithstanding all the means of surgery that could be wrought, he shortly after died thereof: the manner of his death being so terrible (for he even cursed and blasphemed to his last gaspe, and together with his breath an oath flew out of his mouth) that it was not onelyonly a manifest signe of Gods judgement, but also an horrible and fearefull terrour to all that beheld him. But herein did the justice of God most notably appeare, in that he compelled his own hand which had written those blasphemies, to be the instrument to punish him, and that in his braine, which had devised the same.

Another also of our owne nation is not to be overpassed, who for an Atheist and an Epicure might compare with any of the former, and for the judgement of God upon him doth give place to none. It was a gentleman of Barkshire, whose name I forbeare to expresse, a man of great possessions. This man was an open contemner of God and all Religion, a profest Atheist, and a scorner of the Word of God and Sacraments; insomuch, as I have heard reported of very credible persons, being a witnesse at the baptising of a childe, he would needs have it called Beelzebub. Besides this, he was given over to all sensuality of the flesh, keeping in his house continually notorious strumpets, and that openly without shame: his mouth was so accustomed to swearing, that he could scarse speake without an oath. This miserable man, or rather beast, having continued long in this damnable course of life, at last Gods heavy vengeance found him out: for upon a certain day riding abroad a hunting with another companion, as they were discoursing of many vaine matters, it pleased Almighty God of a sudden to strike him with sudden death: for falling suddenly to the crupper of his horse backward, he was taken downe starke dead, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth after a fearfull manner, and became a terrible example to all wicked Atheists, of Gods justice.

Hither I might adde the examples of others, who having been in high places of favour in former times, are fallen like Lucifer from their heaven, that is, their worldly felicity, and live like him in chaines of imprisonments. These had wont (being in their bravery) to mocke at all Religion, and to make themselves merry with scoffing at the holy Scripture, but the Lord hath brought them downe, and plucked the feathers of their pride, to teach them to know there is a God, and that Religion is no matter of policy, but Gods owne ordinance, to bring men to blessednesse; and let them be assured, if they repent not, the Lord will yet further execute his vengeance upon them, and make them more manifest spectacles of his justice.

Many more moderne and home-bred examples I could adde; of some that were hanged, some that died desperate, some that were deprived of their senses, having been notorious Atheists and Epicures in their lives; but I hope these already named are sufficient to prove, that the Lord of heaven observeth the wayes of men, and rewardeth every man according to his works, especially such as strive to deny his Essence-or his sonne Christ. I would to God (and I pray it from my heart) that all Atheists in this Realme, and in the world beside, would by the remembrance and consideration of these examples either forsake their horrible impiety, or that they might in like manner come to destruction; and so that abominable sin which so flourisheth amongst men of greatest name, might either be quite extinguished and rooted out, or at least smothered and kept under, that i… durst not shew it head any more in the worlds eye.