A Treatise of Self-Denial, Treatise · Chapter 47
CHAP. XLVII. Reputation of Gifts and ſpiritual Abilities, &c.
7. ANother piece of vain-glory to be denied, is, The Reputation of our Gifts and ſpiritual Abilities: I mean ſuch as Praying, and Preaching, and Diſputing, and good Conference, to have readineſs for words, and livelineſs of expreſſion, and exactneſs of method: to be eſteemed in all theſe a very able man by others, is an high part of ſelf-intereſt to be denied. The duties themſelves muſt be denied by none, for they are the ſervice of God, commanded us by his word: But it is the Honour that ſelf preſumeth to hunt after in theſe holy things. And it is a double ſin here to ſeek our ſelves, when we are ſpecially commanded to ſeek God! and where the work is inſtituted for that end! and when we pretend to ſeek God, and to deny our ſelves! The greater are our abilities to do God ſervice, the more reſolutely and thankfully we ſhould improve them in his ſervice. But we muſt remember that they are given us to ſave others by our improvement, and not to deſtroy our ſelves by our Pride. Get as great abilities as you can, and when you have them, thank God for them, and uſe them for him to the uttermoſt of your Power: but take heed leſt Pride ſhould ſacrifice them to your ſelves and pervert them from your Maſters ſervice.
The perſons that have moſt need of this advice are eſpecially theſe following. 1. Young unexperienced Profeſſors, that are but lately turned to a Profeſſion of a Godly life; that have ſo much illumination as ſheweth them much that before they knew not, and raiſeth them above the vulgar meaſure, but yet hath made them but ſmatterers and half-knowing men; Theſe are they that the Apoſtle requireth ſhould not be made Biſhops or Paſtors of the Church, becauſe of their pronenefs to this very ſin, that now we are ſpeaking of, 1 Tim. 3. 6. [Not a Novice, leſt being lifted up with Pride, he fall into the condemnation of the Devil] the ſpirit of God here intimateth to us, that Novices are the likeſt to be lifted up with Pride, and that this Pride is the way to the Condemnation of the Devil.
2. And men of great abilities, natural or acquired, that have withall unſanctified hearts, are ordinarily tranſported with this odious vice. A ſtrong wit and a voluble tongue, and learning to furniſh it with matter, are notable ſervants to Pride of heart, where that ſpiritual illumination and holineſs is wanting, that ſhould abaſe the Proud, and turn mens Parts a better way. To all that are apt to be tainted with this odious vice, I would recommend theſe following conſiderations.
1. Conſider what a dangerous ſign it is of a graceleſs hypocritical heart, where Pride of Gifts doth much prevail. It is as inſeparable from a child of God, to be humble and little in his own eſteem, as from a newborn Child to be really leſſer than men at age. No more ſincerity, than humility in any.
2. Conſider, what cauſe of deep humiliation you carry about you in every duty! Beſides all the wants and loathſom corruptions of your ſouls, which follow you wherever you go, the very ſins of your duties, one would think, ſhould humble you. Oh to have ſuch low conceptions, ſuch dull apprehenſions, ſuch heartleſs, unreverent poor expreſſions of ſuch a God, ſuch a Chriſt, ſuch a glory, and ſuch holy truth, ſhould make us aſhamed to open our Lips before the Lord, and wonder that he doth not tread us into hell, inſtead of regarding us or our ſervices, and that fire doth not come forth from his jealouſie and conſume us! It ſhould make us ſo far from glorying in our performances, that it ſhould drive us to Chriſt in every duty, to take him with us to ſhelter us from the flames of holy jealouſie; ſo that we ſhould not dare to go any further than he goes before us, and ſtands between us and the wrath of God, nor to ſpeak a word but in his name, nor to expect any welcome but on his account. Shall a wretch be Proud of that performance whoſe failings deſerve everlaſting torments! Muſt you be beholden to Chriſt to ſave you from the Hell that the ſins of your performances deſerve, and yet dare you be proud of them? Let a Papiſt run that deſperate path, that rails at us for ſaying that our beſt duties are mix'd with ſin, and that this ſin deſerves the wrath of God; Let them refuſe a Phyſician that think not themſelves ſick; and let them tell Chriſt they will not be beholden to him for a pardon for the ſins of their prayers and other duties: but for ſhame let not us be guilty of this, who profeſs to be better acquainted with our infirmities.
3. Conſider alſo that you have to do with ſo Holy and Glorious a God, that to be Proud before Him, and that in and of our very ſervice of him, is a ſin whoſe greatneſs ſurpaſſeth our apprehenſions. Had you to do with a man like your ſelves, you might better lift up your ſelves againſt him. There is nothing comparatively in the preſence of the greateſt Prince, to humble and abaſe you: But to be Proud before the God of heaven, and that in and of our lamentably weak addreſſes to him, O what an horridly impious, unreaſonable thing is this? O man, if thy eyes were opened to ſee a little, a very little of the glory of that bleſſed God thou ſpeakeſt to, how flat wouldſt thou fall down? how wouldſt thou fear and tremble? and cry out as the Prophet, Iſa. 6. 5. [Wo is me, for I am undone, becauſe I am a man of unclean lips, and dwell in the midſt of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have ſeen the King, the Lord of hoſts] Or as Job 40. 4. [Behold I am vile, what ſhall I anſwer thee? I will lay my hand upon my mouth. And Chap. 42. 5, 6. I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye ſeeth thee: wherefore I abhor my ſelf and repent in duſt and aſhes] One glimpſe of Gods Majeſty would take down thy ſelf-exalting thoughts, and humble thee with a witneſs.
4. Conſider the examples of the holieſt of Gods ſervants. The example of Job and Iſaiah I have now mentioned. Moſes himſelf did think himſelf unmeet to ſpeak in Gods meſſage, Exod. 4. 10. He ſaid unto the Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor ſince thou haſt ſpoken to thy ſervant: but I am of ſlow ſpeech and of a ſlow tongue.] And ver. 13. He ſaid O, my Lord, ſend I pray thee by the hand of him whom thou wilt ſend] When God ſent Jer. 1. 6. he ſaid, Ah Lord God, behold I cannot ſpeak: for I am a child] And Paul cries out [Who is ſufficient for theſe things! 2 Cor. 2. 16.] So that it hath been the courſe of the moſt Seraphical Prophets, and holy Apoſtles to have low thoughts of their own abilities for duty: And yet have you enough to be Proud of?
5. And conſider that the Nature of the holy employment that you are upon, one would think, ſhould be enough to humble you. It is a confeſſing of ſin, unworthineſs and guilt, and will you be Proud of this? It is a confeſſing that you deſerve everlaſting torment; And will you be Proud of ſuch a confeſſion as this? The Lord be merciful to us, and ſave us from this unreaſonable vice; who would think that it ſhould be thus with a man in his wits? To confeſs that he deſerveth Hell-fire; And to be Proud of that Confeſſion! your Petitions are all humbling, if they be according to the word; you are beggars for your lives, for pardon of many and hainous ſins, and ſhould come as with the rope about your necks: you beg for deliverance from eternal miſery: and ſhould you be proud of ſuch requeſts! ſhould beggars be Proud, yea ſuch needy miſerable beggars, and be proud of their very begging? Nay, your very thankſgiving it ſelf is humbling. For what do you give thanks for, but for ſalvation from theſe odious ſins, and the damnation which you have deſerved? And ſhall a thief be proud that he is pardoned and taken from the gallows? Pride is contrary to the very Nature and meaning of all thoſe holy duties that you are Proud of.
6. Yea the Gifts themſelves that you are Proud of, ſhould humble you. For 1. They are from God, and not your ſelves. 1 Cor. 4. 7. [For who maketh thee to differ? and what haſt thou that thou didſt not receive? Now if thou didſt receive it, why doſt thou glory as if thou hadſt not received it? 2. You received them not for your ſelves, but for God: and therefore have no reaſon your ſelves to be lifted up by them. 3. All Gifts are for labour and duty, and muſt be once accounted for: and therefore ſhould keep you in humility and fear. To be Proud of Gods Gifts, is to be Proud of that which is given you to deſtroy Pride in your ſelves and others: For this is the End of them.
7. And it is a ſign that you want exceeding much of that which you are Proud of. You are Proud of Knowledge: when as if it were not for want of Knowledge of that which ſhould humble you, you would not be ſo Proud. You are Proud of your worth: and it is for want of real worth that you are Proud. More light and grace, and parts would ſhew you that which would make you bluſh at the things that you were Proud of.
8. And conſider that you take the Courſe to provoke God to bereave you of his Gifts. He gave them to you for another uſe. If you will turn them againſt his face by Pride, when he gave them to keep you humble: when you will exalt your carnal ſelves by it, which he gave you to exalt his Majeſty, what can you expect but he ſhould take them from you? And it's an eaſie matter with him to do it, yea to take away your very underſtandings, and leave you to the heavy plague of Madneſs, ſeeing you were Proud of your underſtandings, when alas, poor worms, you had ſo little cauſe.
9. If once you grow Proud of your parts and gifts, you are in the high way to be given over to ſome fearfull fall; at beſt to particular ſcandals, if not to ſome damnable hereſie or Apoſtaſie. God may prevent it by your Humiliation: but you are in the common road that leads to it. It's much to be feared that God will ſo far leave you to your ſelves, as to let you fall into the dirt of ſome notorious ſin, that your ſhame may fly abroad the world, inſtead of the vain-glorious fame which you deſired: and that you may have ſomewhat to humble you that ſhall be written in your foreheads, and cannot be denied or hid. Or if you be hypocrites, and for damnation, it is moſt likely that you are in the ready way to ſome deſperate Hereſie, or flat Apoſtaſie. For we ſee that theſe are too frequently the conſequents of ſpiritual Pride.
10. Laſtly, Conſider that the Gifts that you are Proud of, are in danger of being unſucceſsful to the Church; God may I confeſs do good to others by them, though they do but choak your ſelves; but ordinarily he denieth ſucceſs to the Proud, and bleſſeth weaker endeavours of the humble. Yea often ſuch men and all their parts become a plague and trouble to the Church. For they uſe them to forment the Hereſies and Diviſions which they are given over to: and do more hurt than the ignorant or the common ſortt of the Prophane. Learn therefore to deny your ſelves in the Reputation of your performances. If you feel any tickling delight when you are applauded, caſt water on it ſuddenly as on a fire kindled in your ſouls from Hell. If you perceive the leaſt ſtirring of diſcontent or envy, when the Preaching or prayers of another are preferred, and yours leſs ſet by, take heed, and quench it; for you are entertaining a dangerous temptation. But if you ſhould be ſo far lifted up, as to ſet up your Judgments above their worth, and riſe againſt your Teachers and the Church of Chriſt, and deſire to ſtep beyond your callings, that your parts may be taken notice of, and you may be ſomebody in the Church, and verifie the Propheſie of Paul, Acts 20. 30. [Alſo of your own ſelves ſhall men ariſe ſpeaking perverſe things, to draw away Diſciples after them] I ſay, when once you come to this, it's time to fear leſt you be utterly forſaken, and become the ſhame and ſcorn of men, as you became the ſcourge and troublers of the Church, and leſt your ſelf-exalting lay you as low as hell.