A Treatise of Knowledge and Love, Part 2 · Chapter 5
Chap. V.
The firſt Inference: By what meaſures to eſtimate mens Knowledge.
FRom hence then we may learn how to value the underſtandings of our ſelves, and others: That is Good which doth good. Would God but give me one beam more of the heavenly light, and a little clearer knowledge of himſelf, how joyfully could I exchange a thouſand lower notions for it! I feel not my ſelf at all miſerable, for want of knowing the number and order of the Stars, the nature of the Meteors, the cauſes of the ebbing and flowing of the Sea, with many hundred other queſtions in Phyſicks, Metaphyſicks, Mathematicks: Nor do I feel it any great addition to my happineſs, when I think I know ſomewhat of ſuch things which others know not. But I feel it is my miſery to be ignorant of God, and ignorant of my ſtate and duty, and ignorant of the world where I muſt live for ever. This is the Dungeon where my wretched Soul doth lie in captivity night and day, groaning and crying out, O when ſhall I know more of God! and more of the Coeleſtial Habitations! and more of that which I was made to know! O when ſhall I be delivered from this darkneſs and captivity! Had I not one beam that pierceth through this Lanthorn of fleſh, this Dungeon were a Hell, even the outer darkneſs. I find Books that help me to names, and notions: But O for that Spirit that muſt give me Light to know the Things, the ſpiritual, great and excellent things, which theſe names import! O how ignorant am I of thoſe ſame things, which I can truly and methodically ſpeak and write of! O that God would have mercy on my dark underſtanding that I be not as a Clock, to tell others that which it ſelf underſtandeth not! O how gladly would I conſent to be a fool in all common Arts and Sciences, if I might but be ever the wiſer in the Knowledge of God! Did I know better Him by whom I live, who upholdeth all things, before whom my Soul muſt ſhortly appear; whoſe favour is my life, whom I hope to love and praiſe for ever; what were all other things to me? O for one beam more of his Light! For one taſt of his Love! for one clear conception of the heavenly glory! I ſhould then ſcarce have leiſure, to think of a thouſand inferiour ſpeculations, which are now magnified and agitated in the world.
But much more miſerable do I find my ſelf, for want of more Love to the bleſſed God, who is Love it ſelf. O happy exchange! did I part with all the pleaſures of the world, for one flame, one ſpark more of the Love of God? I hate not my ſelf for my ignorance in the common Arts and Sciences: But my God knoweth, that I even abhor and loath my ſelf, becauſe I love and delight in him no more! O what a Hell is this dead and diſaffected heart! O what a foretaſt of Heaven would it be, could I but feel the fervours of Divine Love! Well may that be called the Firſt-fruits of Heaven, and the Divine Nature and Life, which ſo uniteth Souls to God, and cauſeth them to live in the pleaſures of his Goodneſs. I dare not beg hard for more common knowledge: But my Soul melteth with grief for want of Love; and forceth out tears, and ſighs, and cries; O when will Heaven take acquaintance with my heart, and ſhine into it, and warm and revive it, that I may truly experience the delightful life of holy Love! I cannot think them loathſom and unlovely, that are unlearned, and want the ornaments of Art. But I abhor and curſe thoſe hateful ſins, which have raiſed the clouds, and ſhut the windows, and hindred me from the more lively Knowledge, and Love of God. Would God but number me with his zealous Lovers, I would preſume to ſay, that he had made me wiſe, and initially happy. But, alas! ſuch high and excellent things will not be gotten with a lazy wiſh, nor will holy Love dwell with iniquity in unholy and defiled Souls.
But if Wiſdom were juſtified of none but her Children, how confidently durſt I call my ſelf a Son of Wiſdom? For all my Reaſon is fully ſatisfied, that the learned ungodly Doctors are meer fools, and the Lovers of God are only wiſe: And O that my Lot may be with ſuch, however I be eſteemed by the dreaming world!